I've written about "Christmas Crackers" before.

Twice, actually.

Maybe this can be my new thing. I'll be the guy who writes about Christmas crackers, annually. It could be worse. I could be the guy who resembles a California condor. I hope it can't be both.

Christmas Crackers are a mostly-European tradition dating back to the 1840s. The festive paper tubes explode with a "pop" when the ends are pulled, thanks to a chemical strip on the inside. After that, you're free to enjoy the contents – usually cheap toys.

Intended as a way to spice up holiday dinner celebrations, everyone seated at the table would help each other pop their Crackers, and, if house rules dictated, trade their prizes with one another. I'm probably making that last part up, but that's what I'd do.

"I see you got the tiny plastic frog. Could I interest you in this whistle? It doesn't make noise, but either does your frog."

"I think you meant neither."

"I did not."

Virtually every department store carries Christmas Crackers at this time of year. While nearly universally inexpensive and with correspondingly crummy contents, there are a few more luxurious varieties. The package above certainly is not luxurious, as so few things with GREAT VALUE stickers are. [more]

With only a month (!!!) left before Christmas, it seems I should get a move on if I'm gonna stand any chance of covering all of the holiday junk I bought.

So, for what seems like the 83rd time this week, let's talk about ice cream. [more]

It's 3:30 in the morning and I'm just now sitting down to write this. If it comes out wonky, that's my excuse.

I've never been a Black Friday maniac, but since so many stores were opening unusually early this year, I felt I had to take part. It had nothing to do with the discounts: I simply enjoy shopping in the middle of the night. Add in hundreds of strangers, and it's like some kind of mutant party.

The big stores were scheduled to open at midnight, if not earlier. I told Ms. X of my planned adventures last night, and while willing to join in, I can't say that she was ecstatic. Actually, she was banking on me being too tired from Thanksgiving's normal festivities to actually do it. By the thirty-seventh time she asked if I'd had enough turkey, I caught on.

But I wasn't going to miss this. No amount of tryptophan could stop me. We headed out at around 12:30, wondering if this was really going to be as insane as the news people always say it is. We've gone to Black Friday sales before, but nowhere near the peak hours. Even though the various circulars promoted everything from $3 DVDs to $200 42" televisions, I just couldn't imagine Best Buy being that busy in the middle of the night.

Holy fuck, was I wrong.

The drive towards Staten Island's big retail area was pleasant. We had the roads to ourselves, and Christmas music was on the radio. We seemed to be the only people moving or making noise.

I started imagining awesome department store visits, where no more than twenty competing buyers would stand in my way. [more]

This is your all-purpose Thanksgiving thread. Discuss what you’re eating, where you’re going and who you’re seeing.

What are you thankful for? Is it turkeys? It should be. So many turkeys gave their lives for tomorrow’s dinner.

Let us honor their sacrifices with random turkey facts, stolen from the Internet at large. [more]