EDIT: You’ve probably noticed that the Playmobil Advent Calendar has gone MIA. Yeah, I’m canceling it, sorry. Should have originally. My heart just isn’t in it this year. I had a long talk with a chair last night, and that chair made a lot of sense. I should be doing what I want to do, not just what I think I “should” do.

I’m still doing the videos, because they’re fun even if they’re the greatest offenses to mankind ever. My apologies for hope-building and flip-flopping on this the past few weeks! I'll post a more detailed explanation in the comments.

We went out for sushi tonight.

I needed it. Not so much the sushi, but the “going out” part.

I’m a freelancer. That has upsides and downsides. One of the upsides is my ability to strategically devise “lulls” so that I can write about pink bunny slippers more often. One of the downsides is that I sometimes forget to have any life at all during those lulls.

It’s probably why I’ve seemed so cranky, lately. I’ve been staring at my computer screen since early September, nonstop. We’ve become like an old married couple. I take its quirks as grand offenses. It never shuts the lights off, and it’s always messing up my things.

It’s not like I never go out. Just not enough. I can’t consider a restaurant visit some great achievement in breaking bad patterns, but it’s something.

Baby steps. It's not like I'm ready to join a club that goes on weekly hikes through the woods just yet. Giant spiders live there.

Sushi was our decision. Now we just had to pick the right restaurant. [more]

I'm sure I've expressed this before, but the word "crap" bothers me. I find it so much more offensive than "shit." To me, "shit" means "stuff," but "crap" will always be a gateway to visions of steaming dung piles, scattered loosely about the hay.

Still, sometimes, "crap" fits best. Today it does, anyway. Get set for a sea of Christmas Story crap!

A Christmas Story, if you want to get technical. But nobody adds the "A" in real life.

The short of it is, most of our decorations are in storage, and we don't want to change that. Our apartment already looks like the work of raccoons. Adding 40 boxes of dusty broken Santa Clauses could push us over the edge.

Buying just a few new decorations and sticking with those seemed wiser this year. Who needs money when you can have shiny new leg lamp stockings? Brothers and sisters, who among you would prefer heat and water to goofy pink bunny slippers?

Down below: An image-heavy tribute to four pieces of crap. [more]

December starts tomorrow. So excited. So nervous.

I always put so much pressure on December. That poor month. It's going to be the busiest of the year, but I still expect it to be the best. Most of us do. We usually get our wish, even if we have to mask some of the days with gallons of spiked nog. Cinnamon-dusted brandy can turn any night into a diary entry worth writing.

If I was smart, I wouldn't be posting this now. I should save it for later. I should spend the day prepping X-E for its month-long mega-tribute to Mr. Claus. I have to figure out how to do a tiny-sized version of the Advent Calendar. I have to put on white face paint and play with LEGO toys. I have to drink cocoa.

But you know, it's Christmas, and I have a present to open. Here's the third chapter of The Greatest Christmas Presents Ever, starring toys I once enjoyed and will again!

Today's gift is a small one. I know you're dying to know what's in those larger boxes, but you'll have to be patient. Try not to lose sleep over what some stranger online may have bought himself for Christmas. I know you can do this.

Let's rip! [more]

I chose the font in that logo because it looked something like macaroni and cheese. You can't imagine the thought that goes into every facet of this website. Where is my fame?

After their critically acclaimed Halloween experiment, Kraft is going for extra points with new 'Tis the Chees'n mac & cheese. Unfortunately for us all, the previous sentence said all that needed saying. How am I going to stretch this out?

Maybe the snowman can get me through another paragraph? Sure he can; look at him! This is the official Kraft Snowman™, as made clear by his orange macaroni scarf. Why else would he so proudly present these limited edition winter shapes? He obviously has a stake in this.

Oh, and notice that painting in the background? The weird creature on the right? Well, I painted that, and the weird creature is named Bibo. In real life, Bibo was an alien alarm clock, sold by Archie McPhee back before they limited their awesomeness to things based on bacon. He had a Snork-like antenna and a clock for a stomach. I used to bring him to school during my sophomore year. I paid the price for that every day. [more]