Sorry for the lack of updates for the past few days — been busy with things that are much less fun than Halloween Cheetos and animatronic slashers. To keep things lively between now and the next post (which will be tomorrow, even if it kills me), how about a quicky spooky survey?

For you commenters: What’s the scariest place you’ve ever been to, and what was so frightening about it? It could be anything from an abandoned penitentiary to a theme park ride.

I figured we were out of good Halloween survey topics by now, but I’m actually very curious to see your answers to this. Go!

We’re supposed to be getting some kind of crazy, legendarily destructive storm tonight. I’ll settle for regular rain and thunder, but I’m hoping for worse. Nothing screams Halloween like lightning and power outages. And exposed viscera.

Got another Halloween cocktail to tell you about — the Tootsie Roll Martini! I don’t know who to credit for this, because the recipe is on just about every cocktail site out there.

The idea isn’t to create a drink that’s made from Tootsie Rolls, but rather, to create a drink that tastes like them. And it does! The concoction looks a bit like the end result of a horse experimenting with Olean-drenched hay, but if you can put aside any reservations about the color, it’s a tasty way to spend an October evening. So is exposed viscera.

The recipe is simple, too. Pour one ounce of vodka, one ounce of orange juice and 1.5 ounces of Kahlua into a cocktail shaker, mix it all up, and pour into a pre-chilled martini glass. For a grander presentation, rim the glass with a few mini-sized Tootsie Rolls. (Most recipes only call for a single Tootsie Roll as garnish, but since I had to buy an entire bag of the things just for one lousy picture, I wanted more god damned mileage.)

Somehow, the ingredients merge to become what’s essentially a liquid Tootsie Roll, so if you like the candies, you’ll like this. I actually loathe Tootsie Rolls, but in liquid form, they’re serviceable.

Course, with almost the same ingredients, Tootsie Roll haters might be better off sticking with the last Halloween cocktail I wrote about, which at least gave you an excuse to carve olives.

Alcohol/food pairings are best left to the experts, but if I had to choose an edible best matched to a drink that looks like chocolate sewage, it’d be Cheetos that turn your tongue blue. Incidentally enough…

Hooray! Frito-Lay has been totally great this year. First they gave us that wicked Snack Mansion, and now, we’ve got Halloween Cheetos that turn our tongues blue. Scategorically titled “Crunchy Color Changers,” the snacks are sold in larger single bags, but since they lack the neat Chester-as-a-Witch graphics seen on these bags, I went with the treat pack of mini-sizers.

It was five bucks for a box of 27 of these at Wal-Mart, which means that the bags cost a little more than 18 cents each. By my estimates, there are approximately 16 Cheetos in each bag. Thus, we have finally learned the average retail cost of a single Cheeto: $0.0115740!

Sorry, I tried, but there’s just no way to take an appetizing photo of wet Cheetos. The dye hidden within the outrageously cheesy snacks does a tremendous job of painting your tongue that same shade of blue, though I’m still trying to figure out how this is a selling point.

Oddly, this is the third Halloween thing I’ve written about this year that has a color-changing special feature. We had the Cap’n Crunch, those Hot Wheels cars, and now this. I wouldn’t say that kids don’t enjoy stuff that changes colors, but this is overkill. What we really need are Cheetos and cereals that glow in the dark.

Finally, Crayola has brought back their “Crayon Treat Packs.” I haven’t seen these since 2003, though to be truthful, it’s not like I spent 2004-2008 actively hunting them. Okay, that’s a lie.

If you’ve been reading the site, you know that I’m a huge proponent of giving kids non-candy items when they come trick-or-treating. It has nothing to do with child obesity, but rather the idea that you’re giving kids something unique and memorable — something that won’t be lost in a sea of fun-sized Snickers and SweeTarts two-packs. On the other hand, most kids prefer candy to crayons, and it’ll take a lot of forward-thinking on their part to prefer three crayons to a single Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. This is partly why I only answer the door for trick-or-treaters who look sincere and thoughtful.

Bah. Unlike the 2003 editions, these crayons don’t have “Halloween style” color titles. Each pack contains a black, orange and green crayon, but Crayola didn’t go the extra mile of making them “Bat Black,” “Pumpkin Orange” or “Ghoulish Green.” Three extra words on the wrappers, and Crayola would’ve been a candidate for my plastic novelty Halloween trophy. And exposed viscera.

Obviously, with these colors, your best bet is to draw jack o’ lanterns and nothing else. Alternatively, you can follow the crafty instructions on the back of the package, instructing you on how to create something Crayola calls a “BAG MONSTER.”

From the package: “With your crayons, draw a scary face on a paper bag. Cut out teeth, hair or other features from construction paper and glue them to your bag. Fill the bag with loosely crumpled newspaper. Tape the bag to a cardboard tube.”

From me: “Why not?”

I skipped the construction paper junk. My BAG MONSTER really didn’t need it. I’m going to die now.

Very sad to hear that Cap’n Lou Albano died. Some of will remember Albano as the insane pro-wrestling manager with rubber bands all over his face, and others for his stint as you-know-who on The Super Mario Bros. Super Show. In remembrance, here’s an old article I wrote about SMBSS. Incredibly, it’s Halloween-themed!

Spiders seem to be all over this year’s Halloween Countdown. At the risk of being a boring and repetitive cad, we’re going back to the web one more time:

From 1988, it’s Milton Bradley’s SPIDER WARS! Imagine my good fortune to find such an obscure board game in nearly perfect condition at a local yard sale. Considering that this was otherwise one of the worst yard sales in history, with the wares including half-used bottles of calamine lotion and dented up popcorn tins, this was an especially lucky find. I know fate when I see it, so I didn’t even bother to haggle with ‘em on the $3 asking price.

Given that I would’ve been thoroughly within the game’s target audience in 1988, I can’t believe that I’ve never heard of it before. If you’ll allow me to make broad and unchecked statements based on my own personal experiences, Spider Wars is a rare little ditty that didn’t remain in production for very long. I’d say that it was too “high concept,” but that’s a stretch of a description for a game that comes in a box adorned with graphics of spiders in high-top sneakers.

On one hand, I can see why Spider Wars tanked: It’s a pretty dumb game with retarded directions. On the other hand, there are just so few board games that come with an army of neon-legged spider toys.

The two-player game comes with everything above, as well as an oversized instruction manual that features quirky spider art such as this. I’m not sure if there is another game I could compare this to. It’s something like Connect-4 and something like checkers, but it’s definitely not just a “spider version” of either of those games.

The photo above, in all of its oversaturated glory, does not give a proper indication of gameplay. Actually, only the green spiders should be shown on that side of the web. The orange spiders should be on the other side, where the second player would sit. The goal is to knock your opponent’s spiders off the board by poking your own spiders’ legs into where your opponent’s spiders’ legs are. It sounds more confusing than it is. [more]

You know you’re in for a special post when I draw up a custom introductory image!

The New York Aquarium in Brooklyn (which I actually reviewed long ago, if you dare to track down the article), ain’t the first place I’d name as a Halloween hot spot, but lo and behold, they’re giving it a shot.

The official website was rather vague when describing the aquarium’s spooky activities. They sort of hinted at what was going on, but I really had no idea.

To say that I wasn’t expecting what I found there would be an understatement on the level of, “I didn’t expect that pretzel to come alive, grab my keys and steal my car.” We visited the aquarium on Sunday morning, and I’m only just now able to confess my findings without shaking.

In we went, darting past the walruses and jellyfish to find this sign. Indeed, the NY Aquarium’s focal point of Halloweenness is its Haunted Sea-Fari. (”Sea-Fari” isn’t hyphenated like that on the sign shown above, but it is on the official site. Given that the sign seems to have been crafted by a first grader with one arm, I’m trusting the site.)

Now, you hear “Haunted Sea-Fari,” and the mind races. There are a lot of ways to construe the term “Haunted Sea-Fari.” My original assumption was that they’d just add a bunch of fake spider webs and other spooky decorations to one of their “scary fish” exhibits. It wouldn’t have been magic, but it would’ve worked well enough.

In truth, the aquarium went so insanely beyond that. Opinions will differ on how successful they were in this endeavor, but make no mistake: When it comes to Halloween, the New York Aquarium isn’t fucking around.

We climbed the steps and debated the final approach, lulled into a false sense of security by the friendly aquarium staffer, who encouraged us to take pictures.

For some reason, every time that I’ve tried to take pictures at some kind of “haunted” amusement thing, I’ve been told not to. It’s as if total strangers don’t want to be deconstructed in photos on public websites. This clear approval to photograph my perilous journey was enough for me to put aside my fears and step through the haunted doorway. [more]

Today I will regale you with tales of Doritos and color-changing cars. It’s exactly how you wanted to spend the weekend.

I’m not sure if it’s possible for me to love this any more than I do right now. Maybe if it blew me. Frito-Lay always spends October marketing its mini-sized snack bag as trick-or-treat fodder, but for 2009, the push is extraordinary. Doing away with the more basic stylings of yesteryear’s multi-packs, Frito-Lay has crafted these unbelievable “Haunted Snack Mansions,” made of shiny cardboard and stuffed with 18 bags of Doritos and Cheetos.

The Doritos and Cheetos are nothing special, or I should say, they’re no more special than normal. The real star is the “mansion” itself. Big, spooky and with working doors, it has all the makings of the perfect action figure playset, and had Frito-Lay been making these back when I was age-appropriate, there’s no way Hordak and Cobra Commander wouldn’t have warred to claim it.

Beyond that, the box would work wonderfully as a “starter piece” for a Halloween crafts project. Paint over all of the product emblems and turn it into a true spookhouse! I think I just gave my Saturday a purpose. By the stroke of midnight, I’ll have transformed Frito-Lay’s Haunted Snack Mansion into a real Castle Dracula. Or maybe I’ll just go to bed early.

I can’t remember exactly how much Target charged for this, but “9.99″ sounds like a good guess. Ten bucks for 18 mini-bags of chips is reasonable in a borderline sort of way, but the fact that it comes in a cardboard Bates Motel puts it over the top. Recommended!

Another score! From Hot Wheels, it’s a two-pack of “Trickin’ Treats” Color Changers, which are infinitely more awesome than the five-pack of boring regular Hot Wheels cars I reviewed last month.

The packaging includes a mad scientist with a fiery tie, who defies mad scientist society’s stereotypical fixation on esoteric ingredients by proclaiming his secret formula to be nothing more than “icy water.” No bat wings, no rat blood, no owl pellets — just plain old cold water. That’s not very “mad” of him. I suppose he’s more of a regular scientist than a mad one. Don’t judge a book by its cover, or fiery tie.

I always approach color-changing toys with some apprehension, as historically, the gimmick never seems to work well. This time, it did. The second I poured cold water over the cars, they changed colors. And not in that cheap, stripey way either — we’re talking about completely new paint jobs, with the yellow car turning green and the orange van turning…a deeper shade of orange. It’s all so magical and wish-fulfilling.

Also nice is how you can use your fingertips to “swab” them back to their original colors. They’re like the toy car versions of those old Hypercolor t-shirts.

HEY. Did you know that I’ve been doing these Halloween Countdowns since 2003, and writing about Halloween nonsense on the site for even longer than that? X-E’s Halloween celebrations have been around for longer than some of your children, and in celebration, here’s a random sampling of my older spooky articles. Pick your poison!

Enjoy! You can also view all of last year’s Halloween Countdown starting with this blog entry. Just keep clicking the “next” links at the top of each entry to wade through nearly 40 days’ worth of year-old creepy content.

Now, how about we take a look at a few more of your Spooky Die-O-Ramas? See five more entries, after the jump! I seriously wish I could’ve given prizes to everyone who entered, but I’d never be able to afford things like Cheetos castles and Hypercolor Hot Wheels if I did. [more]

I normally try to space out my posts a little bit more, so the number of comments on each entry goes up and makes X-E appear more popular than it actually is.

But, I think you’ve waited long enough for this. Finally…it’s time:

If you’ll recall, X-E readers were invited to take part in our first ever (and last ever) Spooky Die-O-Rama Contest. Your challenge was to transform a shoebox into a three-dimensional tribute to Halloween. You did very, very well.

I was beyond impressed with the level of talent, creativity and insanity conveyed by your dioramas, and choosing the winners was EXTREMELY difficult. I cannot stress this enough: Please don’t feel bad if you aren’t in the winners’ circle, because it really came down to coin flips in a lot of cases. All entries will be spotlighted on the site over the next few weeks. Since there are only so many dioramas I can pack into one post without making the Internet explode, today, we’ll just focus on the people who won.

There was no set criteria for judging. Some entries were hilarious, some were unbelievably well-constructed, and others were just so odd that they struck a chord with me and my secret panel of judges.

Because of the wealth of amazement, I’ve decided to increase the size of the winners-circle. Eight runners-up will receive a random horror DVD. And as for that grand prize? That crazy Living Dead Doll? Well, wallet be damned: I’m calling a tie for the grand prize winner, so two of you are getting that baby shipped your way.

Without further ado, here are the WINNERS of X-E’s Spooky Die-O-Rama Contest!

As soon as I saw this, I knew it’d be the winner. How could it not be? Aside from the craftsmanship…aside from the fact that it has moving figures inside,…how could I not reward a diorama based on the famous “scare scene” from The Exorcist IIII?

Despite being a fairly unpopular movie that was mauled by many critics, The Exorcist III is still favorably remembered among genre fans, all for a quick little scene nicknamed “The Scare.” I don’t want to spoil what happens, even though the diorama kind of already did that. If you want to see just how faithful this recreation is, click here.

If you can’t tell from the photos, the figures are attached to sticks that protrude under the diorama and run along a slit track system, allowing you to recreate the murder-by-scissors in live action. Amazing!

Robert and Dana’s entry might not mean too much to people who have never seen The Exorcist III, but I’m absolutely positive that anyone who has seen the movie will agree with my choice. This is a grand prize winning diorama if I’ve ever seen one. Congratulations, guys.

And for our second grand prize winner…

Additional Photos:

Rhino knows where his bread is buttered! But even so, this is one awesome diorama, filled with all of the spookiest stuff ever seen on X-Entertainment! Ghost Dots, The Worst Witch, the Shrunken Head Apple — they’re all here! Man, he even got Arcano and the Ghost With The Most in there! And George the Moon Crab!

I’ve included several photos detailing the specific features of Rhino’s entry, but the video is what really sold it. After spending God knows how long building this thing, he actually went through the trouble of making a video tour of the diorama, complete with music! The video gives the diorama the distinct feeling of a haunted amusement park ride — a “dark ride” — which nearly triples the cool factor of an already amazing entry.

Rhino, this is an incredible diorama and it made me feel really warm and fuzzy. I hope your ridiculous Living Dead Doll brings you as much joy as X-E’s Haunted Hacienda brought me. Congrats!

Now, the best of the rest! After the jump are our eight runners-up, who will each receive a random spooky DVD and the most wild and crazy bragging rights ever. [more]