08/09/2006 Entry: "August Megaparty #9: Pokemon Crafts!"

Bit by the Pokemon bug after yesterday's events, I got to thinking about this site I had bookmarked five years and three computers ago. I'm sure most of you have been in the same situation -- randomly thinking about some site that you used to frequent that cannot possibly exist anymore, but somehow, it does. I guess it helps that mine was so easy to search for. There aren't very many Google matches for "ivysaur toilet paper."

The site is called DLTK's Printable Crafts For Kids, and around five years ago, I used its section on Pokemon toilet paper roll crafts to entertain my niece and nephew while babysitting. This particular section of the site features dozens of printable templates for Pokemon characters that, when combined with the power of crayons and a toilet paper roll, create GOOD TIMES.

Credit goes to DLTK for the concept, but here's my version, which eliminates the printable templates, because if you're going to be in your twenties and making Pokemon crafts, you can damn well draw the Pokemon yourself.

To create your masterpiece, you'll need: Paper, glue SCOTCH TAPE, crayons, a marker, a toilet paper roll, scissors, toothpicks and God given talent. Note the crossed out "glue." While DLTK suggests glue for this project, it worked like shit for me. Scotch tape sightings might ruin some of the magic of your finished work, but damn, man, you're making Pokemon out of toilet paper rolls. Who gives?

STEP ONE: Base the general size and body part ingredients for your chosen Pokemon on its specific DLTK entry. Draw the outline of the body parts on paper with marker, and then color 'em all in with crayons. You can play it straight, play it avant garde, or play it like me: Really quickly and carelessly.

STEP TWO: After you've finished drawing and coloring all of the necessary body parts, neatly cut them out using a pair of scissors, which is not to say two scissors, but a pair of scissors, as if each individual blade constituted one scissor.

STEP THREE: Let's see if I can explain this in a way that makes sense. You're going to have to cover the toilet paper roll with your Pokemon's body base color, so, color a rectangle large enough to cover the roll, and cut the bitch out. When finished, tape it onto the toilet paper roll. It should still be the same size and shape of a toilet paper roll, just now with a colored piece of paper taped around it. I'm sure there's a better way to put that, but I don't feel like trying.

STEP FOUR: With the colored paper now taped around the roll, it's time to start adding body parts. Begin with the head. You can tape it, you can glue it -- do whatever you're gonna do, so long as the head is at the end of the roll, looking all saucy.

STEP FIVE: DLTK suggests gluing toothpicks to the underside of each leg; I suggest using tape. It's easier, and you won't be as relentlessly inclined to break down and eat it.

STEPS SIX - EIGHT OR SOMETHING: Tape the toothpicked legs to the body, add the trimmings (in this case, Ivysaur's big ass tree flower thing), and enjoy. As you can see, I only had masking tape in the house. Ivysaur looks really stupid with masking tape over his legs, so make sure you're not the 2nd house in the entire world to not have any Scotch tape in it before starting this awesome project.

Yeah. Well. I guess that's it.

I'm really sorry about this, guys.

Oh well, I'm sure Ivysaur the Toilet Paper Pokemon will crumble into pieces by tomorrow, but I had fun building him again. If nothing else, it reminded me of all the fun I used to have babysitting those kids, who have now grown quite a bit, and who no longer need babysitting, and who would punch me in the crotch if I added "Pokemon arts and crafts" to a hat full of potential activities for them. But hell, it's their fault I started watching Pokemon to begin with. My niece had this awesomely huge Dragonite pillow/doll that I used to fight her for, and my nephew insisted that I watch him play Pokemon Blue on Game Boy for hours on end, even though it was both grating and impossible to watch anyone play Game Boy. I guess what I'm saying is, I don't care if they're onto dating and basketball teams now -- I'm going to force these poor children to make Pokemon statues with me the next chance I get, because I felt like a big dick building Ivysaur crafts without having any kids to pin it on.

Then again, I have a tattoo of his brother on my leg.

x2

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 08/09/2006 04:16 PM EST

Nice work. Isn't it Bulbasaurus that you have a tattoo of on your leg?

Chestnuts roasted by Dixon Deeper @ 08/09/2006 04:23 PM EST

I don't see what's so good about bulbasaur

I've always been a Squirtle fan since Pokemon Blue

Chestnuts roasted by bren @ 08/09/2006 04:39 PM EST

That guy does not look like he could hit yo ass with a Solar Beam.

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 08/09/2006 04:54 PM EST

What a clever craft idea! I'm gona try these with my nephews. It also has a bit more display power than the binoculars we always made out of t.p rolls.

Chestnuts roasted by LemonWitch @ 08/09/2006 05:00 PM EST

Pay Day!

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 08/09/2006 05:10 PM EST

Matt: You're way more artistic than I'll ever be. That's a nice looking Ivysaur.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 08/09/2006 05:14 PM EST

A friend and I have contemplated getting Decepticon and Autobot symbol tattoos, respectively.

I dared him to get his in the center of his chest, to be as accurate as possible of course. OUCHIE!

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 08/09/2006 05:57 PM EST

TOILETTRA! I CHOOSE YOUUUUU!

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 08/09/2006 06:16 PM EST

I went to the site. There's a million different little guys. Maybe not a million, but alot.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 08/09/2006 07:06 PM EST

damned kids and they're tendency to 'grow up'. what's that all about?

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 08/09/2006 07:33 PM EST

I was filled with glee when I got a mini-poster of Pokemon before the game even came out, I love cute little fake animals. I loved Jigglypuff so much I had to recreate him in polymer clay, the way Richard Dreyfus had to make that mashed potato Devil's Tower. Jigglypuff still sits on my computer, holding his little microphone.

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 08/09/2006 07:36 PM EST

And just like that, I have a lesson plan for tomorrow.
Wonder how the Aztecs would look if they were made out of toliet paper...???

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 08/09/2006 07:57 PM EST

The last thing I made out of a Toilet paper roll wash a hash pipe in college. OMG I am sooo making a POKEMON PIPE. I will smoke right out of Pikachu's cute little head.

Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 08/09/2006 08:10 PM EST

I want to see the tattoo.

Chestnuts roasted by rowr @ 08/09/2006 08:30 PM EST

More like several fabric sheets...maybe even a paper towel or two.
I still can't sleep easy without my Charmander pillow/doll. Didn't play much of the game but I watched the show religiously, until I didn't anyway.
I think this is my favorite Megaparty thus far.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 08/09/2006 08:52 PM EST

Bulbasaur tattoo... *shakes head*
At least my tattoo of Xavier Robert's signature on my ass makes me look adorable.

Chestnuts roasted by Whatever @ 08/09/2006 09:07 PM EST

I am without an embarassing tattoo unfortunetly (or thankfully). I have my little girl's name on my arm. Nice and sensible, and not something that I am going to regret some day.

Chestnuts roasted by Kris @ 08/09/2006 09:17 PM EST

I'll almost certainly never get a tattoo, being both cowardly and insecure, but I've often thought that it would be cool to get a full-arm tattoo that made it look like a prosthetic from a steampunk setting. Lots of intricate little rods and gears and the like. Little hatches with labels like "Aqua Vitae" and "Quickfilver" and "Tincture of Brimftone." Rivets all over the damn place. Yeah.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 08/09/2006 09:39 PM EST

My stepfather has a full-arm tatoo of an eagle, and a "mother" tatoo. He's a sailor (commercial fisherman, actually). Comes with the job. My mother also has a smaller arm tatoo. Me, I'm also too much of a coward...and I don't have anywhere on my flabby body I'd want to put one, anyway.

That paper-roll Ivysaur actually came out pretty cute. I don't know if I'd do it (Jigglypuff is my favorite, and she'd end up being awfully thin), but I might send the link to my brother, who is stuck in my Mom's house with an extremely nasty summer cold. Mom says he's getting stir-crazy, and this might at least give him a tiny bit to do.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 08/09/2006 09:55 PM EST

Matt,
You NEVER have to apologize for posting another Pokémon article. Keep it up.

If I make one, I'll probably use half a paper-towel roll instead of a TP roll since I'm finicky about toilet germs.

Also, being a bigger fan of the human characters, I'd probably see what cardboard-roll versions of Ash, Misty, and Brock look like.

Then, again a WHOLE paper-towel roll would be perfect for my favourite Pokémon: Gyarados!

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 08/09/2006 11:02 PM EST

If anyone's still paying attention, (and YES, I know its not SNT), but I believe the Doho-Manicurse is cured. Just in case anyone was keeping track.

Dohopoki, I choose you!

Chestnuts roasted by Terror Claws Cole @ 08/09/2006 11:06 PM EST

Poki!

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 08/09/2006 11:29 PM EST

I still think that only counts for SNTs.

But this whole pokemon toilet paper roll thing raises some perverted questions with me..Like what Pokemon would look incredibly awkward in that form? And also, how big a pile of crap from something like a Snorlax would be. I don't even wanna think.

And tattoos...I don't want one because needles (tattoo needles & syringes to be exact) scare the living hell out of me and cause panic attacks. But I know what I'd get though: the greek letter of my frat pledge class, Omicron, plus the 3 letters of my frat in a smaller size under it, on my inside left ankle (like most of my bros have it)...but upside-down, so it would always look right-side up when I look at it.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 08/09/2006 11:31 PM EST

CUTEST EVER!!!!

You have a Bulbasaur tattoo? If so, that rules!

Chestnuts roasted by Denise @ 08/09/2006 11:36 PM EST

Don't feel sad, dear Pikachu
It's really really hard to make a 3D criature from 2D pieces of paper (and without scotch tape!!).

Chestnuts roasted by yelinna @ 08/10/2006 12:26 AM EST

Farfetch'd! Mr. Mime! It's a veritable Who's Who of Pokemon no kid gives a shit about!

God I love Farfetch'd.

Chestnuts roasted by Daniel85 @ 08/10/2006 12:42 AM EST

Denise-
I'm sorry...but having a Bulbasaur tattoo most certainly does NOT rule.

Chestnuts roasted by Whatever @ 08/10/2006 01:03 AM EST

Puh-lease, Whatever.

Anyone who can have a pokemon tattoo on their body has to have the courage of 500 lumberjacks. SRSLY.

Chestnuts roasted by Denise @ 08/10/2006 01:38 AM EST

Maybe there could be an entry on homemade Pokemon tattoos? Sort of prison style, you know?

Also, great craft there.. I'm thinking maybe investing in collecting actual action figures is a waste when I could just MAKE them, right? ;-)

Chestnuts roasted by Todd @ 08/10/2006 01:48 AM EST

I agree with those who'd like to see the tattoo! Maybe you can have a SNT where you show your tattoo and then readers with tattoos can post links to pics of theirs. Those who don't have tattoos can participate by discussing what they would get tattooed on them were they to ever get tattooed.

Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 08/10/2006 08:56 AM EST

Nobody likes a mime.

Chestnuts roasted by Clay @ 08/10/2006 09:28 AM EST

I have an iron man tatto and a green lantern symbol, so i have to add my support the pokemon one.

Chestnuts roasted by satas @ 08/10/2006 09:39 AM EST

I also had that pillow Dragonite thing. It was the most awesome Pokemon related thing Ever. I slept with it every night for about a year then after that... I am not sure what happened. but it was so awesome. I was a huge dratini/dragonite/dragonair fan...and I guess deep down I still am. Am I the only one looking forward to the new Pokemon dS game?

If I got a tattoo... I dont know what I want...I used to want a leopard fighting an eagle but now... Umm probably tinkerbell or soometing along those lines... hello kitty.

Chestnuts roasted by Kittycatgirl @ 08/10/2006 11:03 AM EST

Completely unrelated, by my employer just issued Emergancy "Go Bags" to all employees. While I appreciate the gesture, gotta admit I'm just a little freaked out.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 08/10/2006 12:32 PM EST

"Whatever," I will slay you.

I have three tattoos and they're all pretty ridiculous. Bulbasaur is the most ridiculous, but it's not like I ever show my legs, even to the shower nozzle. The only one I still feel yinning my yang is the Saturn on my left arm, but the idiot who gave me it made it look like a black egg with a broken halo. Oh well. I'll be dead before I wrinkle anyway.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 08/10/2006 12:47 PM EST

What's an Emergency Go Bag? Where do you work???

Chestnuts roasted by Curious @ 08/10/2006 12:57 PM EST

I know little to nothing about Pokemon. Except that you are ordered to "Collect them all!". I guess I'm a little too old to have gotten into it. But I gotta say, it still looks like fun.

Maybe I could substitute Pokemon with Centurions. That way I'd only have to decide between 3 characters, cause that's pretty much all there was. Plus no one knows what Centurions was anyway so, I wouldn't have as much embarassment-inducing explaining to do.

Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 08/10/2006 01:01 PM EST

Curious -- It's a nasty hunter orange mini-knapsack containing:

-Two safety light sticks
-Disposable flashlight with batteries
-Two lightweight masks
-Heat reflective emergancy cover (foil blanket)
-Whistle with lanyard
-Individual hand sanitizer packets (Fingerbowls)
-Water packets
-One pair of non-latex gloves

I work for a certain Swiss bank. We're on 52nd and 6th in NYC.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 08/10/2006 01:50 PM EST

The contents of that bag sound like a checklist for Halloween/trick or treat night!

What's a disposable flashlight?! Is it made out of cardboard or something?

Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 08/10/2006 02:09 PM EST

Justin -- It's plastic, but you can't replace the batteries.

I have augmented mine with a bag of Honey Nut Cheerios, Froot Loops, a Chef Boyardee Beefaroni pod, peanut butter crackers, flavored drink powder straws, and my Gumby and Pokie figures.

Apparently, I'm not allowed to take this thing with me or keep in plain site. Too bad for "them". I'm revelling in it's Orange Hideousness and this b*tch is coming with me when I get fired/a new job/laid off.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 08/10/2006 02:14 PM EST

Lemurcat- I've never heard of such a thing! Strange...I like YOUR version of a survival kit better.

I've got 2 tattoos, and the third is coming SOON- as soon as I can get to the city. They are highly addictive. I think I will have at least 5 before I stop. I've already got the Canadian Olympic hockey logo on my back and a small tattoo of the world on my hip. Coming up next: the moon and stars....and probably the 'Thundercats' logo!

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 08/10/2006 02:31 PM EST

I have a suitcase full of Centurions not 5 ft from me, Justin. Earth, Air, Water, very Battle beasts with a touch of whitetrash.

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 08/10/2006 02:47 PM EST

If you put the "Go Bag" on Ebay, I'll buy it. Then I could go camping with my honey! I'm not sure what I could use the masks and gloves for but I'm sure we could find something perverted to do. The whistle could help keep the damned groundhogs away. Never trust a groundhog, the toothy bastards.

Chestnuts roasted by freudguy @ 08/10/2006 02:54 PM EST

freudguy: Yeah, just look at what they did to poor Bill Murray!

I don't have any tattos, but if I did I imagine I'd look stupid. Then again, do I care?

Chestnuts roasted by Deuce @ 08/10/2006 03:22 PM EST

Aww, apparently Cookie Puss is the #1 creepiest advertising icon of all time. You know, according to some guy with a blog. Click my name for the whole sordid story.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 08/10/2006 04:01 PM EST

If you're interested in Centurians, might I suggest...

...this?

Chestnuts roasted by ColonelCatsup @ 08/10/2006 04:04 PM EST

god my charmander looks like shit.....SIGH...

Chestnuts roasted by JoshC @ 08/10/2006 04:08 PM EST

muppetbaby: tattoos are INSANELY addictive, ive got 10 and one of them is almost a full sleeve, it'll be finished next month wooop!

and the SNT tattoo idea is great in my opinion, ill show you mine if you show me yours!

and on the topic of stupid tat's. yeah, ive got a few...

Chestnuts roasted by JoshC @ 08/10/2006 04:14 PM EST

Let me in, da da da!
Let me in, da da da!
Let me in, da da da!
C'mon Greymatter, what did I do wrong?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/10/2006 04:18 PM EST

I heard that, Kingklash! Just who is this Greymatter feller and why won't he let us post? Also, last year I tried to e-mail Matt some photos I took at a Wal-Mart in Lincoln while I was away at college (I have sinced moved back to CA). Firstly, I photographed a big multi-pack of those popcorn balls Matt mentioned in last year's Halloween Countdown. Also, I found some Santa-themed blue soda that I thought Matt would like. It was being sold, during October no less, in cardboard packages of four glass bottles like those old-fashioned coke bottles they still sell. The pictures are still saved on the other computer at my house. I tried to e-mail them to Matt, but it wouldn't go through. Anyone else know what I'm talking about?

Chestnuts roasted by Hoverbored @ 08/10/2006 04:43 PM EST

Gots to use what little window of opportunity I gots to ask a quick off-thread question: Anybody else notice that Fred Fredburger sounds like Rosie O'Donnell's character in "Riding the Bus With My Sister"?
Yes.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/10/2006 05:20 PM EST

Hoverbored: That would be Frosty soda. They're not really a Christmas thing, I think they're just using Santa to show you how cold they are. I think the company goes back to the 60's. Good stuff.

ColonelCatsup: I've got one of those Centurian bastards! Never knew what the hell it was, but my Grandpa gave me an unpackaged yellow one years ago. I always thought it was a weird G.I. Joe on LSD or something. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

Chestnuts roasted by Deuce @ 08/10/2006 05:40 PM EST

"Those who don't have tattoos can participate by discussing what they would get tattooed on them were they to ever get tattooed."

What, I can't just send people pictures of my butt?

I'd never get a tattoo because I have some kind of mental problem. I'll buy some piece of clothing I LOVE, but gradually I convince myself that everyone else thinks it looks ridiculous. Then I stop wearing it. If I got a tattoo I'd just have to get it lasered off a few months later.

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 08/10/2006 08:35 PM EST

See, I've always worried more about stretching than wrinkling. Just recently I've been struck with the urge to get a Powerpuff Girls tattoo...maybe just Buttercup? I'd like to get a pair of sacred hearts first though. If I wasn't concerned about employment issues I'd probably be covered with them (none yet).

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 08/10/2006 09:19 PM EST

If I was physically fit and muscular I'd get a big Chinese Dragon tattoo all over my back. But that kinda thing on my back.

But, that kinda thing only really looks good on someone with muscles. That leaves me out.

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 08/10/2006 11:01 PM EST

Good point, Welsh Rabbit, and something I too worry about.

My birthday is in a month and my sister is willing to pay for a tattoo. I've wanted little wings on my back for some time, and I guess since I wouldn't see them I'd have no problem with them being there.

Chestnuts roasted by Denise @ 08/10/2006 11:27 PM EST

Whoa - down to the wire for today's August megaparty update!

Chestnuts roasted by gramsci @ 08/10/2006 11:39 PM EST

I am so doing the Inu Yasha TP craft.

Chestnuts roasted by Anne Packrat @ 08/11/2006 01:34 AM EST

Bulbasuar is number 1 for a reason you guys.

Chestnuts roasted by Brett @ 08/12/2006 02:07 PM EST

Nyura fo' eva', yo. (Incidentally, thank you, Nintendo of America, for renaming the scariest flying cat monster this side of the Pacific "Sneasel." No, really, big improvement.)

Chestnuts roasted by d @ 08/13/2006 10:19 AM EST

For some reason, it really amuses me that one eyes is circle and the other is triangle. And that his face is two different colors.

Chestnuts roasted by Harui @ 08/14/2006 02:47 AM EST

I used to make these quite a few years ago for the heck of it. it was a fun way to pass the time (then...)

Chestnuts roasted by 80's Baby @ 08/15/2006 10:05 PM EST