08/03/2006 Entry: "August Megaparty #3: Zany Zappers!"

If you've ever hoped for proof that toys have come a long way since you were a tiny ant, look no further than "Zany Zappers," the once-popular gag gifts which provided perennial pranksters sunglasses that lit up! HA HA HA!

It can be safely estimated that "Zany Zappers" were the stupidest consumer products ever conceived, and considering that we live in a world where entrepreneurs found much success in getting millions of people to buy junky troll dolls with neon hair, this is saying something. "Zany Zappers" were cheap sunglasses with neatly hidden LED lights within the lenses, controlled by a perfectly cumbersome button mechanism attached via wire to the glasses. Sound awesome yet?

When activated, the sunglasses would beam forth with hideous, blinking red lights that were impossible for the wearer to see through, thus rendering "Zany Zappers" one of the most pointless purchases possible in the early '80s. On the other hand, when we rewind the sands of time nearly twenty-five years, we land in a world that's far less tech savvy as it's become, and something like "Zany Zappers" might've actually seemed more futuristic and cool than just plain dumb. At least, the old television commercial seemed to suggest this, what with its endless montage of hip kids smacking their asses together as their stupid light-up sunglasses blinked in rhythm with Neo-Disco tunes.

"Zany Zappers" worked their magic through the power of one 9-volt battery, reminding us that the world once had a use for 9-volt batteries outside of superfluous air conditioner remote controls. The popularity of the glasses (and other novelty sunglasses and wearables that shared the gimmick) is easily explained: With "Zany Zappers," consumers weren't likely to realize how lousy the product was until they actually bought it. After all, if you're so blinded by the allure of light-up glasses, you probably won't consider the difficulty in seeing through light-up glasses. You also might not consider how awkward and goofy you'd look holding a wired remote to make the glasses work. If only you'd thought about it for another minute, maybe the kids at school wouldn't have been so harsh.

Though they enjoyed enough popularity to steamroll through one long ago summer into a more appropriate Halloween season, "Zany Zappers" finally found their rightful place as an all but forgotten fad, remembered only by those who taped episodes of "Diff'rent Strokes" in 1982 and forgot to cut out the commercials.

Speaking of which, you can download the commercial by clicking here.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 08/03/2006 10:49 PM EST

Better yet, when was the last time you saw some plastic crap toy that didn't come from China, Taiwan, Korea, or any other part of Asia?

P.S. My boxers are made in Honduras. They know fashion apparently.

Chestnuts roasted by mjf7583 @ 08/03/2006 10:55 PM EST

Reminds me of the "lights in the shoes" fad. I had a pair of those once; you wouldn't catch me dead in them now.

Anyway, like I said on the bottom of the last page....anybody get VH1 Classic in their cable package and feel like recording something for me?

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 08/03/2006 10:57 PM EST

In this case, I believe "whimsical" is a better adjective than "zany."

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 08/03/2006 11:06 PM EST

True story: I have no sense of smell. It's a condition known as asnosmia. Not being able to taste food the way other people can kind of sucks, but one perk is that -- for some strange reason -- I am allowed to use the handicapped parking at work. No shit.

Normally I take the subway to work, though. Something most people tell me is probably a much nicer experience with a nose that don't work.

Chestnuts roasted by gramsci @ 08/03/2006 11:11 PM EST

Kind of thing I'd have thought looked really cool in a catalogue. Being in the UK during the 80's kinda sucked.

Chestnuts roasted by Blackavar @ 08/03/2006 11:18 PM EST

Delighfully Zany, with all the cheesiness of the 80s, a great description of X-E itself.

Speaking of which, that reminds me of Sniglets. You know what those are, right? Words that should be defined in the dictionary but aren't. One good example by the creator Rich Hall: Toastaphobia: - The fear of sticking a fork in a toaster even when it's unplugged.

Here's a topic until the next blog: Give us your own Sniglet!

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 08/03/2006 11:18 PM EST

"You can flash someone you know"

I don't think I need sunglasses to do that...

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 08/03/2006 11:20 PM EST

Welsh Rabbit: Ha. That's funny.

True story: Sangria fucking rules.

Chestnuts roasted by gramsci @ 08/03/2006 11:29 PM EST

What are we drinking tonight? Pabst and Pilsner Urquell myself.

Chestnuts roasted by Blackavar @ 08/03/2006 11:33 PM EST

These bad boys remind Mars of the "lights in the shoes" fad and Invader Norbert of sniglets, but for me, Zany Zappers call to mind those awesome "Back to the Future II" promotional sunglasses at Pizza Hut. I think there's a 5th grade class photo somewhere of me wearing my hot-pink and yellow ones. Badass!

Chestnuts roasted by Commander Awesome @ 08/03/2006 11:35 PM EST

I'm drinkin sambuca. I mean sangria. Ha.

Chestnuts roasted by gramsci @ 08/03/2006 11:35 PM EST

HA! what a fantastic piece of junk! The 80's were so great.

Chestnuts roasted by chance @ 08/03/2006 11:39 PM EST

Wow, that's... a commercial for light up glasses. What's up with the guy who looks over at the two kids "flashing" him from behind the curtain? What the fuck is so funny? Is it some inside joke? I would like to think that he's laughing because the kids are having so much fun, but he's about to give them the beating of their life.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 08/03/2006 11:41 PM EST

I remember wanting to wear sunglasses so badly and being denied by my prescription lenses. Clip-ons were so very middle-aged-man-in-a-trenchcoat and my parents didn't think of getting a middle-schooler prescription shades.

Then i got a pair in high school, and never wore them. They're still in my car 8 years later.

*sigh* you want what you can't have, and when you get it, you couldn't care less.

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 08/03/2006 11:55 PM EST

Aww, when I saw the name I thought they were somehow sunglasses that shocked people. how dissapointing. However, that reminds me of when I was a kid, my friend and I got these novelty sunglasses that squirted water, and we ran around my Mom's office squirting water on people's stuff, believing of course that people would think a dog got in and peed on everything, and it would be hilarious. Then my mom got mad at us. Yeah, those were good times. Anyway...

Sniglets: When I was little I would allways mess with the remote control, and my dad would yell "NO! NO!" at me, and for a long time I thought remote controls were called nonos. I was such a dork.

As far as what I'm drinking, nothin g at the moment, although I may have some sunny delight later.

Chestnuts roasted by Hazzard @ 08/03/2006 11:56 PM EST

I think the word "zany" is second cousin to the word "hoopla" in that they both are pretty stupid words that invoke something FAR less exciting than what is actually happening. That being said, those are some zany shades.

BELONGS IN THE LAST THREAD: Omnivorous History Teacher. B.A. in History, minor in Philosophy, M.A. in Teaching (for those who are keeping score).

THE MEGAPARTY IS THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME FROM GETTING A GOOD NIGHT'S REST FOR THE 1st DAY OF SCHOOL!!

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 08/04/2006 12:04 AM EST

I'm watching "Land of the Dead" on HBO right now. Good movie. "Evil Dead" is on IFC right now also.

If they added a monkey on top of those glasses, they look like the ones that PeeWee wore on Playhouse once in awhile to see various images. Those would rock.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 08/04/2006 12:47 AM EST

I'm far too young to remember or even to have heard of Zany Zappers (I was born in 1984), but they sound like the sort of thing I would have wanted to have when I was a kid. And Knegative, I too had a pair of prescription sunglasses that I rarely wore in high school. This was because the prescription was slightly off from my regular glasses, which I was told could happen with the particular lenses I got (ones that also reduced glare as well as making things darker).

Chestnuts roasted by Thomas @ 08/04/2006 12:52 AM EST

Evil Dead is pretty cool. Liked it better than Land Of The Dead, even though LOTD was filmed in my home-town (which did have me pretty excited).

Watchin' Clerks 2 right now... meh... they all look way older...

The sangria is still rockin'

Chestnuts roasted by gramsci @ 08/04/2006 12:58 AM EST

I loved clerks 2, haven't laughed so much at a movie in ages. All done drinking, time for the omnivorous English degree toting data engineer to hit the west coast hay *waves*

Chestnuts roasted by Blackavar @ 08/04/2006 01:06 AM EST

but do you own them?

seriously matt, i think you should revive the self-modelling that you uded to do.

Chestnuts roasted by kevin. @ 08/04/2006 01:14 AM EST

gramsci I too share the fate of asnosmia, at least self diagnosed...I may have to talk to a doctor if it'll let me park closer to my work

Chestnuts roasted by random bob @ 08/04/2006 01:34 AM EST

Gramsci and Random Bob, I have a friend who lost her sense of smell after taking a certain type of nasal spray. Apparently she was the one in 100,000 who have that side effect.

The Manimal, "hoopla" reminds me of Burt Schnick from Shock Treatment, and anything that reminds me of that movie is a good thing. I agree about zany though. Zany is never a good thing, nor is Whimsical.

Chestnuts roasted by Hazzard @ 08/04/2006 01:53 AM EST

random bob: I thought I was just being a jackass back at that HR meeting when I asked if being deficient in one of the human senses meant I was a visible minority. So imagine my surprise when it turned out I was handicapped. Damn.

Forget what I said about Clerks 2 - yeah, it's pretty funny.

Chestnuts roasted by gramsci @ 08/04/2006 01:59 AM EST

Random as it may seem, I just have to say it: the new Eggo Cinnamon cereal is AWE-SOME....'specially at 3am!

Chestnuts roasted by Shaunfu @ 08/04/2006 02:51 AM EST

If I had been born a few years earlier, that's the kind of shit I would've gone crazy for.

Reminds me of the time I made my mum drive to all the Safeways in our area looking for a fluoro pink digital watch that I'd seen in a catalogue and decided I had to have.

I don't know why I became so obsessive over it, it was just some dinky $2 LCD watch.

Chestnuts roasted by Daniel85 @ 08/04/2006 03:01 AM EST

Blackavar: I'm drinking Pepsi Holiday Spice... because I can.

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 08/04/2006 04:36 AM EST

didn't everyone in Blondie's 'Rapture' video have these at the end?

Chestnuts roasted by angus @ 08/04/2006 05:27 AM EST

Turns out I'm drinking Lemon Lime Kool aid... I was just in the mood for something unnaturally green. And I mixed in a little wink for some added fizz and citrusosity.

Chestnuts roasted by Hazzard @ 08/04/2006 05:58 AM EST

I dunno, I think there could have been a market for glasses that you can't see through. I can think of several reasons someone might want to blind themselves to the horror that is fashion in the early 80s. These gimmicky sunglasses, for example. It's a vicious cycle.

Anyway, I'm headed back to the farm for a couple of days, and the internet out there is so bad it gives me nosebleeds, so keep the Party rolling for me till I get back.

Oh, and my favorite non-canon word is "aquadextrous." It's the ability to work the taps in the tub with your toes.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 08/04/2006 07:17 AM EST

I didn't have time for light up glasses back then. I was too busy with my "Sunglasses of the Future" sunglasses from Pizza Hut promoting Back to the Future 2. I had the neon pink and green ones. I totally rocked them on the bus to elementary school too.

Chestnuts roasted by TC Falcon @ 08/04/2006 08:08 AM EST

a new TMNT movie??!?!?!? oh boy

and oh yeah those things sure are zany?

Chestnuts roasted by bren @ 08/04/2006 08:25 AM EST

for some reason, those things remind me of the visor with lights in it that i had from Chuck E. Cheese. it was totally cool if you didn't mind a 9 volt battery sticking out the side of your head

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 08/04/2006 08:46 AM EST

Bren - Yeah the turtles look like a cross between something cool, and those BRATZ dolls. But it's supposed to follow the comic book. If that's the case, who's gonna play the young Matt Murdock?

I drank way to much last night at the pub, I came into work late and I'm leaving at noon. I'm going to a county fair to see Poison! I'll take lots of pictures. Hell, I'll probably find a pair of "Zany Zappers" somewhere. Right next to the switchblades, framed pictures of Eminem, Insane Clown Posse, Wu-Tang and Toby Keith. Oh and don't forget the Swastica patches, KKK bandana's and brass knuckles. It's great living in the Land of Mullets that is central PA. Of course I'll have the camera and pics will follow.

And in true Big Hair rock fashion, I'll be drinking Bud and smoking Marlboro Reds.

Rock on!

In

Chestnuts roasted by Dexter Douglas @ 08/04/2006 09:16 AM EST

I guess I'm aquadextrous!

Those glasses look seriously goofy. Even without the light-up feature.

Chestnuts roasted by Deuce @ 08/04/2006 09:33 AM EST

For sure for sure, I would have wanted Zany Zappers as a kid, if I knew about them.

I think the song from that commercial is going to be stuck in my head all friggin day! blah!

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 08/04/2006 09:50 AM EST

MissJess, I had those sunglasses, too. A row of flashing LED's above teh lenses...but they looked like those old-people sunglasses. Unlike the "Zany Zappers", I think they operated on a little watch battery imbedded in the sides.

Invader Norbert, I remember sniglets...though the only two I can recall now are:

ju-ju jerk - the guy who sits in front of you in the movie theaters with his box of ju-ju-be's, holding each one up in the light of the movie to see what color it is. [from the clip: Guy sitting behind the ju-ju-jerk... "It's RED!!! JUST EAT IT!!!"] LOL!

Doork - a person that goes the wrong way through the automatic doors at a store.

Shaunfu, my kids got some of that Eggo cereal, and it IS awesome!

Chestnuts roasted by bad karma @ 08/04/2006 10:10 AM EST

One more new sniglet...a friend of mine was giving me the credit for making it up, but it's entirely possible that I read or heard it somewhere else...

frohawk ... I'll let you figure it out.

Chestnuts roasted by bad karma @ 08/04/2006 10:19 AM EST

A couple of things --

1. The kid down the street from me had those. Got them for Christmas. He was so annoying with them, a bunch of us held him down, beat him up, and ripped the battery pack off. Kids are cruel.

2. Dexter -- what part of central PA? I did four years out there in college and that mini-rant brought back all kindsa warm and fuzzy memories. Grange Fair is coming, baby!

3. Sniglet of the week -- hofftacular: So crappy, it's spectacular in it's cheesiness ala David Hasselhoff. Usage: Wow, those space jeans you found at the vintage store are hofftacular!

4. In re: the last blog entry -- Carnivorous with a History B.A. The profile for the average X-E user points toward someone in their mid-to-late twenties, with a liberal arts degree and an affinity to off beat pop culture. A large portion of users tend to live in the NYC and Philadelphia areas. Yes, I have way too much time on my hands, thanks.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 08/04/2006 10:30 AM EST

LemurCat - If your talking about the Grange Fair then you and I are Alumnui of the same university. We Are... or some shit.

I live right out side of said town, the fair is in Clearfield.

Chestnuts roasted by Dexter Douglas @ 08/04/2006 10:37 AM EST

Welsh Rabbit, I thought the flasher line was kinda odd too, glad I'm not alone... And, am I the only one who saw that scene and immediately thought "they've got sex toys"? Go back and watch again, you'll see why I thought that...
Knegative, I've had perscription sunglasses since I was 12 (glasses since I was 5), and I can't imagine life without them. I tried those stupid transition lenses, but they always sucked, and were too gimmicky.
Hazzard, I had a teacher who had lost all feeling in his nose due to a car accident (it was a freak chance that he even survived). The bone in his nose was shoved into his brain, severing the connection, and just barely missing from killing him. When he was in college (he told us students his college stories) he used to chop up and snort goldfish to "one-up" the guy who would eat a live one.

Chestnuts roasted by Dr Sketch @ 08/04/2006 10:38 AM EST

Oh yeah, Dexter. That's the one. As me and my friends used to say "We Are ... Real Drunk!" Wanna have an interesting experience? Go to the steak house in Boalsburg with the big steer on the roof. It's ... something.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 08/04/2006 10:55 AM EST

Oh man, I so wish I had those glasses. I would wear them everywhere.

Although I'm not lucky enough to be the proud owner of Zany Zappers, I am the proud owner of something equally as great. Sorry for the link, but I have to show everyone what my mom scored for a quarter at a rummage sale for me! Yay for frugal moms.
http://www.geocities.com/rjs6281/sp.JPG

It looks faded in the pic, but it's just my stupid camera phone. It's actually quite vibrant and it has increased my beach attendance by 80%. Because when you own a towel like that, it's a sin to keep it to yourself. I'm obligated to share it with the world.

Chestnuts roasted by Rebecca @ 08/04/2006 11:25 AM EST

This is like an overpriced, freight-train-of-an-ad-gimmick version of those shades with the ZANY design on the outside for all to see, and small, but many, "slits" I guess on the inside to let you see. Back then, I'd want them though, no denying. It's just like what Knegative said.

I haven't posted on X-E since the days of the FORUM! That was more than a couple of years ago. Finally made my move to the blog here.

IT HAS BEGUN!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, just popped in my head.

Chestnuts roasted by Colonel Catsup @ 08/04/2006 11:31 AM EST

Dexter, Lemur - I grew up in DuBois. Doo boyz. I hope you're not alumni of the Penn State DuBois campus...

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 08/04/2006 11:35 AM EST

Jessica Marie wrote - Dexter, Lemur - I grew up in DuBois. Doo boyz. I hope you're not alumni of the Penn State DuBois campus...

Can't say I've had the pleasure -- I did all four years (yes, four. And they let me leave with a diploma. Suckers.) at Uuniversity Park. Though I recall being corrected repeatedly on the proper pronunciation of both Dooo Boyz (*NOT* DuBois) and Bellfont (*Not* Bellefonte). And people wonder why I fled the state after graduation.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 08/04/2006 11:50 AM EST

Wow, that commercial was...wow.

Happy Friday X-E!

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 08/04/2006 12:00 PM EST

Oh, and P.S Matt I fount this on ebay.

1951 Grape Kool Aid

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 08/04/2006 12:13 PM EST

(shaking the dust off his 36-year-old brain) Yes, back in the dino-days of music videos, the video of "Rapture" ended with a group wearing Zany Zappers, zapping the camera zanily. They were right up there with those one sunglasses that made everyone look like a low-budget Scott Summers.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/04/2006 12:45 PM EST

My cousin had a pair of these. I remember being so jealous. Especially on Halloween where he dressed up like The Spaceman from Kiss and had these under his mask. Really added to the costume.

Chestnuts roasted by Walter Mitty @ 08/04/2006 12:51 PM EST

Speaking of Koolaid, have you ever considered looking in to those Funny Face drinks that Pillsbury made? You know, the ones that had to be changed because the names and packages were offensive to people? (ie Chinese Cherry) I know Retrocrush has a minor description about it, but nothing much else.

Chestnuts roasted by mjf7583 @ 08/04/2006 01:04 PM EST

Wow...there's no words for that commercial. I can't believe that's what 1982 looked like. How did we kids walk around with such atrocious fashion sense and not get our asses kicked by someone? (Easy--everyone else was wearing the same ugly ass clothes). Those glasses remind me of the VCR that we purchased a year before--the selling point was the fact that the remote was very light. How? By having a huge cord that went from the remote to the front of the VCR. Never mind that people often tripped over the cord, we had a new-fangled remote!
Were people a lot easier to impress with technology back then or what?

Chestnuts roasted by kindersczenen @ 08/04/2006 01:20 PM EST

Sadly, I owned two pairs of these as a kid. The first I bought on my own with paper route money. I was incredibly disappointed. But not as disappointed as when my grandmother bought me another pair for my birthday.

Chestnuts roasted by J. Tithonus Pednaud @ 08/04/2006 01:53 PM EST

I've never owned a pair of those. I was a deprived child.

And yeah, how in the good name of Jesus Christ did people get away with wearing clothing like that?? It's that bad, that I had to invoke the name of my personal Lord and Saviour.

Sniglet - Spanglish. No not that Adam Sandler movie, but when speaking to someone in Spanish and you momenterily forget the word and automatically just flip over to the English word. Some people are more talented than others and can just flow back and forth fluidly, while other fumble, think about the word, and then use the English version. Happens alot to my younger cousins who aren't as fluent as my other brother or older cousins.

/startrant

You know one phrase I hate? "no worries". When the fuck did 3/4's the English speaking people of NYC become a bunch of islanders from the south pacific or live in Australia long enough for it to become part of their venacular??? It honestly sounds like an Asian guy trying to speak ghetto. It's just so forced. What's wrong with, "no problem", or "don't worry"? "No worries" Huh? Go fuck yourself, if your life is that great that you don't have any, I don't need to know you.

/end rant

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 08/04/2006 02:46 PM EST

Alot of new X-E'rs I'm noticing. Welcome and have fun.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 08/04/2006 02:48 PM EST

That commercial makes me want to beat someone. It grates against my brain.

I need a drink!

Chestnuts roasted by Deuce @ 08/04/2006 02:54 PM EST

I agree, Deuce. After watching that, I feel a Scanners moment coming on...

Chestnuts roasted by ColonelCatsup @ 08/04/2006 02:59 PM EST

You tell'em Darth Galvatron!

But, just to allay your concerns that you may have offended anyone that uses the phrase... I'm here to say you didn't.

So...no worries.

>

Chestnuts roasted by Disturber of the Peace @ 08/04/2006 03:01 PM EST

LemurCat brings up a good point. Am I the only Southerner on here? I know FL doesn't really count but GA does.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 08/04/2006 03:32 PM EST

I'm in the south, but definitely not by choice. I spend plenty of time in central PA though. Also not really by choice.

Chestnuts roasted by dylan @ 08/04/2006 03:50 PM EST

Maybe Matt should start up a Frappr site so we could all plot out our individual locations?

Or is that too "other" web site?

Chestnuts roasted by bad karma @ 08/04/2006 03:54 PM EST

Manimal: I'm in Texas if you count that as "South" My Mom's from Virginia, though, So I got some southern blood...

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 08/04/2006 03:55 PM EST

So do we need like a formal definition of South? Because I've always worked under the assumption that the former Confederate States was "The South".

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 08/04/2006 04:53 PM EST

With sitess like Google Local, and Flash Earth, we can just give our lats and longs. Like these for DisneyWorld:

28 degrees, 25', 7" N
81 degrees, 34', 52" W

Or these for my town:

35 degrees, 4', 23" N
98 degrees, 14', 37" W

Do I live in the Boonies or the Sticks?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/04/2006 05:01 PM EST

I hail from Texas too. I definetly consider Texas part of the South. We did have a small but influential role in the Civil War.

Oh yeah, we've got oversized hats and mean ass snakes here too.

Chestnuts roasted by Deuce @ 08/04/2006 05:23 PM EST

They actually have new versions I saw at some fair. Except the lenses do not flash, the actually glasses light up and glow. Pretty stupid, but these zany zappers seem horrible beyond imagining.

Chestnuts roasted by the80sruled @ 08/04/2006 05:24 PM EST

Manimal- I'm in Texas. I'm not always proud of being in the south, but I'm proud of being in Texas.

Wow. I've been sitting here for fifteen minutes and I can't make up a sniglet. Wait! I got it!

SCD (Sniglet Creation Deficiency): The inability to create a funny sniglet.

Chestnuts roasted by Zak @ 08/04/2006 05:32 PM EST

If anyone has been watching Shark Week, you might have noticed ads for a show tomorrow night on THE GIANT SQUID!!!
at 8pm EST.

Also, for those of us here that have been to Upstate NY (or live there), I'm sad to say that the Catskill Game Farm is going to close after 73 years. Click on my name for the sad news.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 08/04/2006 06:01 PM EST

I don't remember these specifically, but it does NOT surprise me that such a thing existed. Just about anything that lit up all funky like was hot back then. For some reason, light-up flashy things, especially ones that included cheezy "sonic sounds," were considered to be the wave of the future at that time. But now, we've ralized the wrongs of our ways. Kind of like with digital watches. I men, who doesn't think and analog watch is classier these days?

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 08/04/2006 06:24 PM EST

Good to see you guys. I'm looking into new job prospects today; i want to quit the McDonald's. In response to LemurCat's post, I also presumed "the south" to mean the eleven states of the former confederacy. There's also the five "border states" (Missouri to Delaware) where slavery was also legal until 1865. Anyway, I don't remember much about the light-up glasses, as my borther tells me we're too young to remember them. But I, like some of you, also was curious about where you guys are from. Me and my brother, who posts on this blog as Thomas, live in North Hills, CA (you can look it up on Google Earth; I can see my house from overhead!) right near a Budweiser brewery. We can just smell the excitement!

Chestnuts roasted by Hoverbored @ 08/04/2006 07:12 PM EST

Hoverbored, the brewery thing is kind of dumb, and the ending joke is lame; I hardly even notice the malt smell anymore. Besides, my brewery reference is better (I mentioned in a previous blog that the brewery is on the site of a former Busch Gardens).

Chestnuts roasted by Thomas @ 08/04/2006 07:31 PM EST

Analog watches are classier.

I think I've mentioned before that I'm from Kansas but I now have the misfortune to live in Idaho.

And I found out the names for two things that describe me. I have almost no sense of smell. Something has to be really strong smelling for me to notice it. I can still taste food though, so maybe I don't truly have asnosmia. Also, I'm aquadextrous.

My sniglet:

jobification: When providing justification for your job IS your job. There's a lot of people where I work that serve no real purpose except to make everyone else's job harder, and explain why that's a good thing.

I think I would have loved those sunglasses as a kid. Heck, if they're bright enough I'd love 'em now. I'd wear them while sleeping on the bus ride to work. If they kept the guy next to me awake, it'd be an extra bonus.

Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 08/04/2006 07:35 PM EST

All the kids in our school had these - grew up in a small NH town and one of our classmates was in one of the commercials (not this ad, though - got my hopes waaaaaaay up when i saw the blog heading..)
Some Marketing fool decided that if all the kids had them, we'd get the buzz going - apparently, he never realized that not much buzz happened in 1982 NH...

Chestnuts roasted by seawoolf @ 08/04/2006 07:39 PM EST

There's a great comic about the Zappers legacy in Maria Schneider's "Pathetic Geek Stories" comix:

http://patheticgeekstories.com/archives/page6/zzappers.html

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Punchy @ 08/04/2006 07:42 PM EST

speaking of central PA, has anyone ever heard of Zern's, the gigantic indoor flea market. oh man they had everything from 2/$1.00 NES games to decomissioned missiles, to machetes etc etc when i used to live in the Spring City/Kimberton area we went there all the time

Chestnuts roasted by big p @ 08/04/2006 07:42 PM EST

That "Pathetic Geek Stories" site was really depressing. I didn't run across anything that was an exact match for me, but I didn't spend too long looking. In general, it just reminded me what a sad and depressing time Junior High and High School were. My 10 year reunion was supposed to be this summer. I didn't get an invitation. It's probably for the best. I probably would have set my apartment on fire trying to burn the invitation.

Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 08/04/2006 07:55 PM EST

These shades remind me of Big, after Josh gets his apartment and him and his friend bought all this crap (the silly string scene) and they're wearing those glasses with the red flashing lights on them. Those weren't Zany Zappers, but we can pretend they are....

Chestnuts roasted by ColonelCatsup @ 08/04/2006 08:03 PM EST

Looks like I got some deep fried X-Ers responding there. Yeah, Texas is quasi-South (same as FL). Both part of the old Confederacy as Deuce pointed out.
That still makes me the only one to live in the real cracker South...

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 08/04/2006 08:05 PM EST

Hahaha... big p I'm probably heading to Zern's tomorrow. I pop in every couple weeks, they all love me. The CEO of Zern's wrote me last week in referance to an article I did a while back on Zern's. Which reminds me, I should probably actually write back at some point.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 08/04/2006 08:10 PM EST

Untrue, Manimal. I live in Eastern VA. We be quite the Cracker.

Chestnuts roasted by ColonelCatsup @ 08/04/2006 08:11 PM EST

I live blocks away from ColonelCatsup and I must concur. We've got more rednecks than a youngling dorm after a visit from Anakin Skywalker.

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 08/04/2006 08:31 PM EST

Mystie, Big P -- I haven't been to Zern's in year, not since my sister's ex-husband wasn't a f*cktard psycho maniac. We used to go up there for bootleg Ren and Stimpy t-shirts and bulk candy. Is that kick-ass ice cream stand still down the way from there?

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 08/04/2006 09:28 PM EST

A sniglet I made up once was mmbopers: The kids who stand outside of a movie theater acting all cool and pretending they are better than you while they wait for their Mom's to pick them up.
At least I think that would be a sniglet, I've never heard of them before. Either way I enjoy saying mmmbopers.

Mmmbop your ass outta here!

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 08/04/2006 09:34 PM EST

Fair enough then Colonel and Knegative. Fair enough.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 08/04/2006 11:59 PM EST

i live in south jersey now so zern's is kinda a pain in the ass for me to get to, but man...how can i resist whens its so damn awesome!

Chestnuts roasted by big p @ 08/05/2006 08:12 AM EST

wow...

I had a couple pair of these. I was 6. Los Angeles CA. Holywood more exactly.
Wow, ... commercials were... skip that, everything was way different back then.
Thanks you so much for doing this one, Matt. I was thinking about them the other day. Yay. I wish my exclamation point worked.

Atariusion:
The inability to choose the Atari cartdridge to play.
(atari + confusion = Atariusion)

Chestnuts roasted by Oliver Unlimited @ 08/10/2006 03:10 AM EST