08/02/2006 Entry: "August Megaparty #2: Mallow Burger!"

The August Megaparty continues -- and despite what you say, I am well within the time limit on posting this entry. Take that.

It was another fun-filled redeye flight back from California last night. I think I'm starting to learn my lesson about redeyes. They're wonderful if you have something to do in the hours leading up to your departure, but if you're like me, and you're stuck in an airport for six hours with nothing to do but wait for your flight, ouch. Fortunately, I had an iPod stuffed with episodes of 24, and an airport that went out of its way to entertain me. Aside from the usual gamut of restaurants and convenience marts littering LAX, I couldn't believe my eyes and good fortune as I stumbled through a door into a smoking section. I've been to LAX a bunch of times in the past few years, and only now do I know that it is not necessary to eat my cigarettes to avoid mental breakdown. So that was cool, and so was this:

Right near my gate was some weird candy store that reminded me all too much of "Over Our Heads" from The Facts of Life. Though smoothies and gourmet chocolate were the shop's specialties, it also played host to both the rudest cashier in the history of airports and the best candy assortment in the history of the entire world. Every kind of candy still in production was on sale here, and I say that fully knowing its level of hyperbole; stores with this much candy deserve fun words like "hyperbole."

It wasn't just the top suspects, either. From gummy "Pet Rats" to giant thumb-shaped lollipops forged in crystal blue raspberry, this was the premiere place to stock up on sweet things only a person with seventy days to kill in an airport would ever buy. I snatched a few ridiculous items, but only have enough energy left in the tank to tell you about the one that really counts: The "Mallow Burger."

I'd be lying if I said it was a life-sized cheeseburger replica, but it's so close to being a life-sized cheeseburger replica that I totally could've gotten away with it. This thing is unreal. We've seen gummy and marshmallow candies evolve their technologies over the past decade, but I've never seen an example that so closely mimics the color, the texture and the size of the real thing as this plastic-wrapped, crunchy-centered all American fun burger. They even put phony seeds on the bun. Phony seeds!

It tastes kind of like a Marshmallow Peep, but less sugary, and less good, and less sand-like. While there's no discernible difference in flavor between the bun, cheese and burger portions, the inside of the burger is filled with a toxically sweet hard candy. The package warns of this feature, but hindsight being what it is, I think it would've been neater to leave the hard candy center as a big surprise for the six people interested in eating a life-sized cheeseburger made of marshmallows.

I kind of love my giant marshmallow cheeseburger, and if I didn't need to shred the package to take pictures for YOU, I would've left it sealed, forever, right next to my keyboard. I'd give it little plastic googly eyes and pet it whenever it needed love. I'd call it Bunji, confident that no one would ever get the reference.

PS: Five hour redeyes should never have Over The Hedge as an in-flight movie experience.

Chestnuts roasted by Ronald MacKinnon @ 08/02/2006 11:10 PM EST

Welcome to the Club, MissJess.

Yea, marshmallow candy sucks (although the Hersey Smores bar isn't bad).

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 08/02/2006 11:19 PM EST

Well, since I'm a ... VEGAN, I am 100% sure I cannot consume this Mallow Burger even if I ever found one, because of the gelatin. It is very cute though - and hey, I'll pretend it's a Boca Burger with Tofutti cheese! But no, I can't even buy one, anyways. I am curious as to how soft and fluffy that bun is, though.

I have seen food shaped gummy snacks before, though, like the ... oh wait, Matt did review the Crabbie Patty snack, didn't he? It was something like it if not a Crabbie patty... and it was Halloween candy, or maybe I'm imagining that he did. But anyways, at work, they have all these gummy snacks of Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Grosses me out.

Oh, and welcome aboard, MissJess!

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 08/02/2006 11:23 PM EST

Welcome to the blog, MissJess and Crassmonkey!
I wouldn't have said anything, but today marks my fifth full day without smoking a single cigarette. About ready to eat a bullet over here. Ooh, speaking of which, "hyperbole" is one of my favorite words.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 08/02/2006 11:25 PM EST

I love the haribo gummy fast food sets. This though, I'd probably pass on.

Anyone else tried the MASSIVE limited edition tic-tac fruit fiesta boxes? Mango tictacs. I shiat you not.

Oh, first post, and - English MA!

Chestnuts roasted by Blackavar @ 08/02/2006 11:41 PM EST

Got to love flying. I'm flying to Denver in the morning, and I'll be back that evening. All that for an hour and a half of walking around UNC campus, and I find out today that I don't have to attend the transfer orientation. After purchasing non-refundable tickets! That sucks!

Chestnuts roasted by Donata05 @ 08/02/2006 11:59 PM EST

Agh! While waiting for a table last Saturday, my boyfriend and I were walking around Cracker Barrel looking at all their Halloween festoonery and old-timey candy, and he picked up a package that caused this exchange:

"Hey, look how gross this is."
"Pfft, what kind of idiot would buy a marshmallow cheeseburger?"

That's why you're wonderful, Matt. And I'm only implying your idiocy out of love.

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 08/03/2006 12:17 AM EST

Good god the Mallow Burger!
We sell these where I work (drugstore). We put them at the front counter which caused all kinds of comments from the customers, mostly to the negative.

Matt, we still have some left. I'd gladly buy one and send it to you.

Chestnuts roasted by emperor_zorak @ 08/03/2006 12:33 AM EST

I'm not a teacher, vegan or vegetarian. I love getting away with eating dead things that were formerly self-aware.

Miss Jess has gotten quite a nice, big Andy's Room welcome, but I'll add to the pile. Hello!

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 08/03/2006 01:13 AM EST

I've had power outages here due to the heat (4 times in 2 days, one longo ne last night!), but fortunately, each time this happened it seemed to reset my IP adress and allows me to post here on my usual browser. *cough*aol*cough*

Anyway, yay on new people! Nay, I've never seen that Mallo Burger before (and I've been someplace that has hundreds of different kinds of candies, even imported stuff called Dylan's Candy Bar)

I am neither a teacher nor a vegetarian/vegan, but you can add me to the list kinda of being a potential english major.

And Mars, that might be friendly, but we may get replaced! We better send in the Army Men to investigate...

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 08/03/2006 01:56 AM EST

I'm a vegetarian and currently a psych major with a minor in english...so that kinda counts...no?

And also regarding the comments made by both MissJess and Crassmonkey, Id have to agree, although Ive probably posted a total of four times, the commenters on this blog always seem so nice and fun, unlike other sites where things always turn into stupid fights...you can feel the love! hahaha okay im lame, thats all

Chestnuts roasted by Katella @ 08/03/2006 02:15 AM EST

Bunji being a play on words between 'bun' and 'Benji'?

Chestnuts roasted by mnpchan @ 08/03/2006 02:23 AM EST

Hello! I'm posting here for the second time, after reading the entire archives! I'm proud of myself, but its kind of sad not to have as many blog entries as I want to read whenever I want, Thankfully Matt's doing this entry a day thing, which may help me wean myself off the amount of Blog posts I was accustomed to. Speaking of run on sentences Anyway, I hope to become a regular here, I love this blog, and I love you guys!

Chestnuts roasted by Hazzard @ 08/03/2006 03:53 AM EST

Welcome to all new bloggers! Hope you enjoy contributing to our dialogue. Feel free to post on any subject stricking your fancy (within certain guidelines of modesty and common sense). This is Hoverbored, coming to you from someplace probably far away. Props to Invader Norbert; it kinda relieves me to know there's other AOLers here on X-E. 'Kinda figured they'd scoff at me if they knew. Anyway, reading some of your posts got me thinking: if i had met you guys in school (grade, middle, high, college), would we have been friends? Or would you have made fun of me and called me names?

Chestnuts roasted by Hoverbored @ 08/03/2006 04:15 AM EST

I'm no teacher, but me love fail English? That's inpossible. I eat animals, too - sorry. Naw, honestly I don't give a damn because chickens, cows, pigs... each one of those would eat me first if they had half the chance. Especially chickens.

Welcome aboard new people!

Chestnuts roasted by Todd @ 08/03/2006 04:53 AM EST

Hoverbored: What kind of kid were you? Chances are, I wouldn't have made fun of you or called you names. There was a brief period of my early childhood where I was deathly afraid of becoming fat. I have distinct memories of being 5 or 6 and having a fear of touching a fat girl in my ballet class. I thought I could catch it. I made fun of her, and feel guilty to this day. Other than that, I was generally a champion of outcasts. In 6th grade, I discovered "alternative" music and culture...I'm 25 now, and I've never really grown up enough to stop rebelling. I went through Jr./Sr. high with about 5 actual friends. I despised the popular kids because of how they treated my friends, but never made much of a fuss because they were nice to me for some reason. Mostly, the only people I have ever continuously mocked or made fun of have been ignorant people, who know they are ignorant...but don't care. And stupid girls...but I am well aware that is a self-esteem issue.

On a different note, it's 3am my time, I'm not tired and I just smoked my last cigarette. That sucks, but I have thoroughly enjoyed reading all the welcomes and have gotten thru 6 months of past blogs! Whoo hoo!

Chestnuts roasted by MissJess @ 08/03/2006 05:05 AM EST

Hey, It's 6 AM here, but I can't sleep... Not after what happened. I feel absolutely awful.

Chestnuts roasted by Hazzard @ 08/03/2006 06:19 AM EST

I eat animals and I'm a software engineer. So I owe someone some points.

Does anyone remember those walkman-like devices from the late 80's, early 90's that you put these small carts or tapes into. They had one or two songs on them. I know one of the songs was a "Down on the Corner" cover by someone. Mellencamp maybe? It was on the comercial. This just popped into my head while I was in the shower this morning.

Oh this is my first post BTW, I've been lurking here for quite a while, I used to post on the forum.

Chestnuts roasted by Dexter Douglas @ 08/03/2006 07:35 AM EST

I love the marshmallow/gummi replica craziness. A while back someone gave my little sister a gummi 'Happy Meal'. It contained a gummi cheeseburger, gummi fries (in a cardboard package, even!), and a gummi Coke.

I've also seen a gummi hot dog kit, with individual buns and dawgs, and also squeezy bottles of some viscous red and yellow approximations of 'ketchup' and 'mustard'.

Oh, and just to add my name to the English major sound-off-- English Lit major here (but probably switching to Cinema Studies, cos I've discovered that I can write essays comparing the product placement in E.T. and Mac And Me and call it academics).

Chestnuts roasted by Daniel85 @ 08/03/2006 07:42 AM EST

I was at LAX in 2003 for what turned out to be the lamest and most expensive vacation I ever took, and I remember there being very jerky people in that airport. That candy store guy being a jerk sounds like par for the course there. Of course you have to expect that in an airport that is run by aspiring actors who only see successful actors walking by them every second. The bitterness must be amazing there!

Chestnuts roasted by TC Falcon @ 08/03/2006 08:19 AM EST

Daniel: Hah, that's awesome. That's why I respect the liberal arts. It does the heart good to be able to say, "Sir, I may not be making a great deal of money, but I can list all the ways in which 'Peewee's Big Adventure' links up to the traditional bildugsroman framework. Now, for the last time, would you like fries with that?"

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 08/03/2006 08:24 AM EST

Former writing major here, actually using my degree. Rad.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 08/03/2006 09:00 AM EST

Damn Matt, I'm jealous! Last time I was at LAX, I couldn't find a smoking room, and ended up going onto one of the open-air connecting bridges to smoke! I didn't find any good shops either, just the typical magazine/starbucks/mcdonalds stands... Although, on the plus side, I was listening to "The City With Two Faces" by Goldfinger and started cracking up so much that everyone thought I was crazy (the chorus just screams out "Fuck L A" over and over)...
Hoverbored, if we were good friends, I'd make fun of you, so can I vote for "both"?

Chestnuts roasted by Dr Sketch @ 08/03/2006 09:01 AM EST

Welcome to MissJess and all the other new posters, from an infrequent, dead cow (& other animal) eating, non-teacher from the Midwest.

Dexter I'm in the IT biz, too...only a software/systems analyst.

So, not a vegan, vegitarian, or teacher, but I am a dad, so maybe that counts for a half point?

Chestnuts roasted by bad karma @ 08/03/2006 09:07 AM EST

Aw, come on, Matt, Over The Hedge ain't that bad a movie! I haven't seen Cars yet, but we did laugh a lot on that one.

Chestnuts roasted by Roddy @ 08/03/2006 09:20 AM EST

1. I was a business major. I enjoy all things meaty.
2. MissJess - if "the bees knees" is a reference to the movie "Shag", you are my new best friend.
3. I enjoy being extra friendly to rude cashiers and praising them for their excellent customer service. it tends to make them angrier

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 08/03/2006 09:37 AM EST

I'm just a simple guy compared to most of you. I went to college for drafting, but never finished. It doesn't really matter, because I got a job doing it anyways.

I eat all animals, although I get tired of beef almost every day. In the little town I work in, that's about the only food you can buy. (This is a town where beer is pretty much the only thing you can order in most bars)

Hoverbored: You wouldn't have been made fun of by me. I was always hanging with the uncool kids. Hell, my favorite band was Creedence Clearwater Revival when everyone else was listening to Nirvana. But, me and best friend also had the advantage of being bigger than most of the cool kids, so we were left alone most of the time.

Chestnuts roasted by Deuce @ 08/03/2006 09:44 AM EST

Ryane: If we're not supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

Chestnuts roasted by Whatever @ 08/03/2006 09:51 AM EST

Roddy

Drop whatever you are doing and go see Cars. NOW. Go see it. Best movie of the summer. I've seen it three times...

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 08/03/2006 09:56 AM EST

Cars, better than PIRATES????

Chestnuts roasted by Dexter Douglas @ 08/03/2006 10:09 AM EST

In-flight "entertainment" is horrible 99.9% of the time. During Christmas, I was expecting to see The Grinch or Charlie Brown, or at least SOMETHING decent on a December 23rd flight. Hell, I even was kinda hoping that the staff would dress up like elves or Santa, but no. Nothing. Just some stupid crap that I can't even remember now. I'll never expect anything good from airlines as far as entertainment goes, ever again.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt(#2?) @ 08/03/2006 10:18 AM EST

Wow would I get the same reaction if I said this is my first time posting? Can I still say it is, though I think last time I posted I got feedback from Dexter Douglas (I love freakzoid)? Amazingly enough I'm very closely related to the IT buisness as well.

I've seen gumi happymeals, "the works" burgers, and hotdogs, all that make me want to run screaming for the nearest bridge....and I LOVE gummi candy normally. Marshmallow candy on the other hand makes me cringe in the best of circumstances....

On a odd and slightly disturbing note, it appears I can now stalk my ex-gf just by reading this forum....hadn't even planned on it.

I can't believe I just read through all these posts just to make that little note.

Chestnuts roasted by random bob @ 08/03/2006 10:40 AM EST

A little late (and maybe someone else has already made this guess, I'm too lazy to read the other comments) but wasn't Bunji some kind of purple elephant-like creature with suction cups for feet? He was from some kind of cartoon special where these two kids use a time machine to travel back to the age of dinsoaurs, something like that.

Am I right?

Chestnuts roasted by Al Boondy @ 08/03/2006 10:44 AM EST

FREAKOUT!

Chestnuts roasted by Dexter Douglas @ 08/03/2006 10:50 AM EST

Hey, Hazzard, hi. Welcome, welcome to the family. Welcome, welcome, we're as happy as could be, though we're not all related, on this you would agree. That's all the words that I remember from my 6th grade play...

I'm a vegetarian, when cows take over you’ll all be in labor camps while I sit talking with Gilligan, sipping a "very dirty" martini whilst wearing nothing but a Speedo. Take that Henry Kissinger.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 08/03/2006 10:56 AM EST

Greetings Dexter and Katella! What they say is true, this is the best group of folks on the net. Though we're perfectly capable of devolving into typical internet stupidery (just see the F911 thread if you scoff), generally the joint is very friendly and chillaxed by design. Though if anybody tries to talk smack about Pirates I might just have to throw down
Formerly a veg and English major, currently a carnivore and Child Development major here, if we're doing the roll call. I think the biggest touchstone people here have in common is a level of geekery and perhaps social awkardness.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 08/03/2006 11:02 AM EST

Random bob: Dammit, for the last time, it's OVER between us. Give it a rest.

P.S. And give me back my black T-shirt.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 08/03/2006 11:15 AM EST

Hey Al Boondy, I have a strong memory of Bunji myslef, but I can't remember what cartoon he was on. He had a wierd voice too, kinda like when you swallow wrong and get food caught in your throat. Somebody enlighten us with the cartoon he was on, it will drive me mad if I can't remember!!

Chestnuts roasted by Crassmonkey @ 08/03/2006 11:17 AM EST

I like looking at things like the mallow burger much more than eating them. I had a marshmallow Spongebob Crabby Patty sitting on my computer desktop for the longest time until my son ate it.
Since this has turned into an informal survey: mark me down in the voraciously meat-eatin' psychology-spouting category. Hence the name "freudguy", for the less aware. I do prefer chicken in case there is a bovine uprising.

Chestnuts roasted by freudguy @ 08/03/2006 11:35 AM EST

Okay, so I go to Dublin to visit family for a month come home and find an X-E with a mega party and a promise of daily articles. This is a wonder that cannot be equaled. Instead of sleeping off jet lag I've been reading articles. I can't feel my tongue anymore and my eyes have shrunk to the size of dried prunes, but I am highly entertained.

Chestnuts roasted by bloodybrilliantme @ 08/03/2006 11:56 AM EST

Darth Jedoc does not kill, he sacrifices. So it's okay.
I think along with the quarter comparison we need a shot of the crunchy center.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 08/03/2006 12:04 PM EST

Hey, just wanted to say thanks to you all for helping me through long hours at both college and work. I've been reading since 2003 but never posted. So does it count if I'm an English major groupie? I'm prelaw govn't but am often found in the English department...may as well have been one. Thought I would finally post since it seems to be welcoming day!

Chestnuts roasted by Tarable @ 08/03/2006 12:06 PM EST

That mallow burger is messing with my brain! It looks like a frozen cheeseburger...but I know it's not...but my eyes tell me it is...and the cheese stuff looks like cheese...and is has freezer burn...but it's not freezer burn...if it weren't for the strange looking "meat stuff" and gloopy sesame seeds, I'd swear it was a cheeseburger.

BTW, I'm not a teacher! But I did go to school for a long time, does that count? I'm a graphic artist. One of the many reasons I like this site so much is all of the nifty graphics!

Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 08/03/2006 12:28 PM EST

Jedoc: but we had something so special, and besides you only bought the black t-shirt cuz I told you how well it accentuated your neck...don't I get neck accentization too?

Chestnuts roasted by random bob @ 08/03/2006 12:41 PM EST

Dexter - were you talking about Pocket Rockers?

Chestnuts roasted by dylan @ 08/03/2006 12:46 PM EST

dylan

Shit yeah! That's what they were! Hey, thanks alot. I declare today a Memory Christmas for myself. My friends and I do this when we get to open old memories. It's teh gay, I know but so is searching the intarweb for old toys.

Merry Memory Christmas!

Thanks dylan!

Chestnuts roasted by Dexter Douglas @ 08/03/2006 12:57 PM EST

Isn't this shark week being hosted by Mike Rowe? That guy cracks me up!

Chestnuts roasted by bad karma @ 08/03/2006 01:25 PM EST

Whatever: Hey why not eat some dog or cat or parrot, then? After all, they are made out of meat also. Oh wait, humans are too!

Darth Poop: I'm gonna hang out with you... and I'll keep an eye out for Vegan Mike.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 08/03/2006 01:51 PM EST

Dexter - No problem, I'm glad you mentioned them because mine is just sitting in a box in the next room. And since it's August and I have absolutely nothing to do, I think busting out the Huey Lewis and the News cassette and listening to Hip to Be Square is almost definitely called for. The weirdest thing I remember about Pocket Rockers is that my family had multiple copies of every cassette we owned. Apparently every one of us had a need to listen to Los Lobos (La Bamba/Tequila) in different places at the same time.

Chestnuts roasted by dylan @ 08/03/2006 02:13 PM EST

I'm a carnivore, I speak English (sorta), no BA or MB, and a low tolerance for BS. I'm a gifted class burnout. And resident Native American 'round these here parts. As self-appointed greeter of new fish to the mighty, mighty X, I welcome you! (gives odd combo of MAD punch to own head and Spaceballs salute) Punch and cookies are over there, coloring books over there, and over there is The Pit, chock full of claw machine toys to dive into. Every third Tuesday we have the standard "Gooble-gobble one of us" ceremony for new posters. Enjoy your stay with us.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/03/2006 02:32 PM EST

Bad Karma, yes you get points for being a Father, cause I want points for being a Mom

Deuce, nothing is wrong with CCR,I wish I was smart enough to listen to them when I was in high school. I know better now, and I will be able to help my son grow up on good music.

Also, I feel rude if I don't so, welcome everyone, I'm glad you could join us!

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 08/03/2006 02:53 PM EST

pardon me for asking, but what joy is brought on by "stalking" your ex on a blog?

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpant @ 08/03/2006 02:57 PM EST

Man, Over the Hedge was an awesome movie. I'd have loved to see it again, on a plane no less! With a Fox, and with a Box...whatever, it ruled. :9

My teeth are rotting at the thought of even attempting to eat that burger though, yowza.

Chestnuts roasted by John @ 08/03/2006 03:23 PM EST

Looking at the second pic of the actual "burger", I realized that it look like a burger a muppet would eat, like it's from the Muppet Universe.

Chestnuts roasted by freudguy @ 08/03/2006 03:41 PM EST

Wow, new posters, references to Freaks (and the Ramones by default), gummi and marshmallow candy (gummi Coke bottles rule), and Pocket Rockers! *huff* *huff* I think I need a paper bag to breathe into.

Chestnuts roasted by Bludge @ 08/03/2006 03:43 PM EST

I'm sorry, but the seeds on the bun look like spooge to me. They just do. Does that make me a bad person? Probably. A sick person? Definately.

And I'm majoring in mortuary sciences, so I escaped the English major curse. Thought I do love reading and writing.

There, I'm done sharing, I swear.

Chestnuts roasted by LemonWitch @ 08/03/2006 03:43 PM EST

Dexter Douglas - great inspired name, and when you last posted referencing it, I just HAD to skip the rest of the posts and reply to it. By the way, do you have a cat named Mr. Chubbykins? If so, don't let him near the keyboard, although I may be too late.

Ryane, we don't eat dogs, cats, parrots or people only because they don't taste very good. Trust me, I've tried them all.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 08/03/2006 03:46 PM EST

Bunji had the same voice as Bobby Generic. It never occured to me that you couldn't eat hooves if you were vegan.

Chestnuts roasted by klatubaradanikto @ 08/03/2006 03:51 PM EST

If you are in the habit of encountering spooge that color, then someone needs to change one's dietary habits.

And now, a happy little narwhale!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/03/2006 03:53 PM EST

Well I never said it was from a healthy specimen..

Chestnuts roasted by LemonWitch @ 08/03/2006 03:55 PM EST

You can't eat Jell-O if you are vegan. And I heard a rumor that Red Bull contains stuff that isn't vegan or vegetarian, I think it's the Taurine. Anyone know if that's true?

Chestnuts roasted by Crassmonkey @ 08/03/2006 03:57 PM EST

Hey, everybody. Infrequent poster, obsessive reader. Guess what? I'm an English major too - writing concentration. I'm not actually making any money with my degree, but I have been published and I'm working on a screenplay and going to film school in the fall. I guess that's better than the shingles.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris Martin @ 08/03/2006 04:08 PM EST

bitchpant
no joy really, just a realization that I still have to at least share the same webspace

Chestnuts roasted by random bob @ 08/03/2006 04:18 PM EST

First time poster. Not an English major - a political science degree followed by a law degree. 17 years as a practicing lawyer. Other than that, no other discernible abilities, so if the system ever crashes, I'm doomed.

Chestnuts roasted by TorgovsOrtega @ 08/03/2006 04:28 PM EST

opps, apparently my pants are singular today...
anyway, I was just wondering because I was praying you weren't MY ex lol

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 08/03/2006 04:31 PM EST

Bunji from Bionic Six?!? OK, other dude's guess was better, but thats the only one I got.

Chestnuts roasted by Terror Claws Cole @ 08/03/2006 04:38 PM EST

Pocket Rockers!!! Ahh, the hours of annoying my mother with the same song were priceless!

Chestnuts roasted by MissJess @ 08/03/2006 04:46 PM EST

bitchpants, there, I gave you the rest of your pants back, I had to use half of them.

Chestnuts roasted by random bob @ 08/03/2006 04:50 PM EST

Does anybody here have VH1 Classic?

http://www.slate.com/id/2147062/GT1=8483

They're repeating the 24-hour rebroadcast of the first day of MTV. Someone please record this and get it to me somehow!

I'm serious, by the way. Anybody want to help?

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 08/03/2006 04:52 PM EST

Crassmonkey- "Taurine" just sounds phony. Makes me think of some kind of bull juice. And there's no way to define THAT without grossing me out. ...Ok, I just looked up "taurine" on wikipedia, it says it's common in energy drinks and catfood. Hmm.

Ooh, Bloodybrilliantme, I'll be in Ireland (Cork, then Bantry) at the end of the month, my uncle's getting married. Since it's 101 degrees here (Delaware) today, the next two weeks can't go by fast enough. At least the X-E Summertime Orgy of Posts will help.

Can I have half a point if my Mom's an English professor and my brother used to be vegan?

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 08/03/2006 05:32 PM EST

You get this truck full of points if one parent was a hamster and the other smelled of elderberries. I'll even forgo the correct status of said parents.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash without flint or tinder @ 08/03/2006 05:54 PM EST

Clearly, your mother was a hamster.

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 08/03/2006 05:55 PM EST

A psych major AND an english major. You sooooo belong here.

B.S. in Psych since we're sharing qualifications again.

Welcome, welcome MissJess

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 08/03/2006 06:43 PM EST

Looks disgusting.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 08/03/2006 08:00 PM EST

Freddy's Dead, The Final Nightmare is on Cinemax, in case you were wondering

Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 08/03/2006 08:26 PM EST

Sorry about the dramaticness earlier, my lizard died. Anyway, I suppose I'll throw in that I'm not an english Major, but after seeing Babe in the theater, I was a vegitarian... Long enough to get to the dairy queen across the street and buy a corn dog. Heh. I can't resist meat's meatly temptations.

Chestnuts roasted by Hazzard @ 08/03/2006 08:52 PM EST

I can't believe a blog post about a marshmallow generated this many comments in one day.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 08/03/2006 08:54 PM EST

Mystie: Underestimate the power of the mallow at your own peril.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 08/03/2006 09:08 PM EST

Is it the insane heat that's keeping us all indoors and on the blog?

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 08/03/2006 09:15 PM EST

There's too many dang new people here. My comfortable little hole on the internet is being invaded! Go away!

On second thought, more new people means more random thoughts about things like Pocket Rockers. Welcome aboard!

I think those "sesame seeds" look more like boogers than spooge. If I saw those on a real burger I'd definitely either call the health department or tell Barth I want my money back.

I eat meat, and I'm an engineer rather than an English major. However, rather than doing "real" engineering work, these days I spend all day writing procedures. Does that count?

Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 08/03/2006 09:31 PM EST

Marshmallow burger?! I have a strange thing for all things marshmallow-y. I actually wish I could have one of those...it would be the first meat-like thing I've had in a while (I'm a boring vegetarian).

Random story: Driving back from GA today, a guy on the radio was talking about He-Man and reminiscing about how he watched it as a kid...I was all excited, because I thought it was Matt at first. But it turned out to be some random guy. I was sorely disappointed.

I think I just realized that I am one of the younger people posting on here...is sixteen too young to get excited about television shows from the eighties?

Chestnuts roasted by razzkat @ 08/03/2006 10:02 PM EST

I have a BA in Communications that is currently being used for decoration, as I'm a cashier in a grocery store. I hate my job. Not as much as the guy who handled Matt obviously does, but I'm not the world's best people person. I minored in English and one of my best friends is a teacher.

I'll eat just about anything, including most kinds of meat.

I've seen marshmallow burgers like the one in Matt's picture in a couple of different places before, including the local Dollar Tree. Never tried them. I'm not a big fan of marshmallows unless they're melting in my hot chocolate.

I spent so much of my child as an object of ridicule by half my elementary school, I now write children's stories on how uncool it is to bully people. I wouldn't have made fun of you as a kid, Hoverboard; I would have been deathly afraid of you making fun of me!

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 08/03/2006 11:10 PM EST

Strict carnivore here, but I loves vegetarians/vegans. More of them = more meat for me!
Ryane, if I knew someone who could properly cook a cat or dog, so that it tasted good.... Yeah, I'd eat it. I hate dogs (and am starting to hate cats too), so it'd be like a 2-for-1 special! Now FERRETS, I could never eat them. They're too cute, and besides, there isn't much meat there...

Chestnuts roasted by Dr Sketch @ 08/04/2006 09:21 AM EST

Cameron T., the plan is to go on Sunday. Hopefully, since that's been the plan for the past 3 weeks or so.

Chestnuts roasted by Roddy @ 08/04/2006 10:19 AM EST

After seeing this thing, I find that I must call it a "Burgallow". Well, Actually I found that I had to call it that last night after working 10 hours at the casino.

Chestnuts roasted by DocDragon @ 08/06/2006 12:49 AM EST

We just discovered these marshmallow burgers at a local Walgreens. I ate two bites and got completely full, but a co-worker was able to eat the entire thing without flinching, in under 45 seconds. Even the razor-sharp candy disc inside.

I put one of these in the microwave, and I swear to god it filled the entire chamber inside. It was the greatest microwave-induced mallow expansion I've ever witnessed. There are those that would claim "exaggeration!" but try it. Truly a spirtual experience.

Chestnuts roasted by David W @ 08/07/2006 03:52 PM EST