This new billboard reminded me to tell you that none of you should be here on 8/18. Be a part of history.
REPLIES: 114 comments
yea this looks like its gonna be a pretty funny movie
Chestnuts roasted by pdac @ 07/25/2006 08:35 PM EST
They're already selling shirts with lines from the movie. That's Hot Topic for you.
Chestnuts roasted by Kell @ 07/25/2006 08:47 PM EST
Thanks for the link to the Snake and Animal Farm article. That was one of my favorites! I loved the haikus.
I really thought Snakes on a Plane was already out, I've been hearing so much about it.
Chestnuts roasted by LuLu @ 07/25/2006 08:47 PM EST
YAY! Fourth comment! Matt, I wanted to tell you about this KOOL-AID WATCH!
Niftyness, right?
Oh and I seriously loved your old articles on the Worst Witch and the Tim Curry 'Curse' haha.
Chestnuts roasted by Kerstin @ 07/25/2006 08:56 PM EST
Ah yes....the drug dealer snake dude. In the wake of girls who get squashed into wrinkly mushes by computers because they can't go "above the influence," I miss the scarier approaches.
Dumb teens who take drugs have gotten dumber if this is how you have to appeal to them.
Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 07/25/2006 09:06 PM EST
Begging the pardon of Matt and my fellow bloggers, I'd like to continue a survey I began on yesterday's blog: Please share your bad experiences working in fast food. I'll begin by repeating my own story: one day within the last three months, I was working the register at my local McDonald's and had just totaled the customers order. I went to get the food, as I figured would be a good idea, but I hadn't taken the money yet. My manager would have been wise to remind me to take the money and give change before fetching the order. Instead, he grabs me as I am leaving the register, drags me in front of it, and stands behind me working my arms like a puppet, performing the necessary actions, all in full view of the customers.
Chestnuts roasted by Hoverbored @ 07/25/2006 09:24 PM EST
This is going to be the greatest movie ever!
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 07/25/2006 09:25 PM EST
Defamer has already started the SoaP backlash, but if you go to the site they've got links toward the blinged out movie tie-in jewelry. Can't wait to see this one.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/25/2006 09:37 PM EST
SoaP comes out three days after my 21st birthday. What a week that's gonna be.
A few months ago, when I got 'snake fever', I was telling my friends about it and one of them replied "I dunno, sounds like a pretty bad movie." Well, DUH.
Chestnuts roasted by Daniel85 @ 07/25/2006 09:45 PM EST
The Zathura link isn't working, you forgot the "s" in sweepstakes.
Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 07/25/2006 10:12 PM EST
Thanks...fixed. 
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/25/2006 10:40 PM EST
I hope the hype didn't turn it into a "the kind of bad that isn't even fun to make fun of" movie, or make it appear to be aware of its badness...
Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 07/25/2006 11:06 PM EST
One thing is for certain...SoaP is going to either be an Oscar contender or the worst movie of this millennium. Either way, it's going to have a cult following like no other.
Chestnuts roasted by Frito @ 07/25/2006 11:07 PM EST
What really scares me is the movies in the next few years that are going to make a conscious effort to recapture the magic of SoaP. I don't know what methods they'll try, but since it's Hollywood, they will be trite, insulting, and ultimately futile. It'll be like the Blair Witch saga all over again.
Oh, and Matt, nice easter egg in the commercial. Very Lucasesque.
Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 07/25/2006 11:19 PM EST
Ok, if anyone skipped my newly-posted comment in the last blog, I said that the last blog is actualy Blog #800, instead of the one 5 blogs earlier.
Fun fact: the SoAP poster was made in a Fark photoshop contest to make a theatrical poster for it. Apparantly, it was one of the biggest draws at Comic-Con this year (with an airplane fuesalage being remodeled to look like a snake as its booth)
And I've never worked in Fast Food, and upon seeing Clerks II, I don't want to. And besides, how on earth was a Mooby's (or any fast food place) staffed by only 4 people?!
Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/25/2006 11:28 PM EST
The Krusty Krab is staffed by only 3.
Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 07/25/2006 11:32 PM EST
I have tragically somehow managed to miss the buzz on this film. Maybe it's because I don't watch commercials and rarely go to the theater. This and other sites I visit seem to have an inordinate amount of anticipation. I'm not sure I'll be able to see the movie, because I'm horribly afraid of snakes. I mean like I occasionally wake up yelling because I was dreaming there are snakes in the bed.
Just so I can see what's got everyone so excited, can someone point me to a trailer? Maybe one that isn't too scary?
Hoverbored-
When I was 17, I was a shift manager at a Dairy Queen. This lady came through the drive through and ordered food and a bannana split. Her fries were going to be a couple minutes because we had just run out, and it was like a 100 degrees outside. So when she got to the window I told her I'd wait to make her split until her food was almost ready, so her ice cream wouldn't melt. She told me to go ahead and make it now, so I did. She wolfed half of it down, then bitched that it was melted when her food finally came out. I told her that I'd offered to wait, and that I would NOT refund her money or give her another one. She got pissed and asked to talk to my manager. I pulled my head back in the window and turned my hat around backwards. I stuck my head out the window, and said in my cheeriest voice "Mike tells me that you have a complaint. How can I help you?" She really flew off the handle then. I ended up giving her the owner's home number to get her to go away.
Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 07/25/2006 11:34 PM EST
Yeah, SoaP my BIL will not stop talking about it he's had the shirt for a least 3 months or so, so I'll be seeing it I'm sure.
And again, I enjoy seeing your commercials. I'll never see them on TV but if I ever to I'll feel all proud that I have the inside scoop! 
Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 07/25/2006 11:39 PM EST
I never worked fast food, but I did work in the kitchen at a retirement home for a short while when I was 16. It sucked huge balls. I never knew you could puree so many different foods. Shit. This one time we ran out of prune juice. Mass chaos ensued.
Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 07/25/2006 11:49 PM EST
I never worked fast food, but once in retail an elderly African-American woman came into the store, and two different employees made the mistake of asking if they could help her. She immediately flew into a screaming rage, saying everyone in the store was "harrassing" her and how DARE "you bitches think I'm stealing 'cause I'm BLACK!" We had to call security, and she was permanently banished from the mall.
Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 07/26/2006 12:41 AM EST
Apparently I'm all psychic and shit. I ask for SoaP and you deliver, Matt. Cheers!
Anyone hear about this Star Wars Kid who sued his friends for posting his video? If he can't laugh at himself now, he's gonna have major problems in the future. You can't sue everyone who makes fun of ya kid, and there are those of us who think that video was cool (on principle) and not ridicule worthy. He was working it, and then someone was nice enough to add the effects. Some people are going to make fun of you for liking Star Wars, get used to it. Find strength in loving it in spite of them. There is a community waiting for you.
Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 07/26/2006 12:48 AM EST
We got Motherfrakkin' Snakes on my Motherfrakkin' plane! And there's not a Got-Damn thing we can do about!
Seriously, I can't wait for this movie. It will be the greatest thing in the world, simply knowing that people on the internet got them to refilm some dialogue just to make them happy.
It actually raises some interesting questions...Could internet interactivity lead to more things like this? Say a film studio pitches an idea, and then invites people to comment on it. Then they take the best comments and put them in the movie. Maybe put their names in the credits or something for credit.
Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 07/26/2006 01:00 AM EST
Cameron: the problem with that is, it's gotta be legally binding. You would have to register for that kind of page and promise in the form that you would never ever sue if you felt you deserved more credit than you were promised. More than just a few people would show up, and some of them WOULD try to sue. Too many cooks spoil the broth, as the saying goes.
Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 07/26/2006 01:15 AM EST
This would have better fit in the last post, but Thursday I'm going to Paramount's Carowinds amusement park; it's loaded down with all kinds of Nick themed stuff. My question to you all is "Any suggestions as to 'can't miss' attractions?" Link is to the Rides & Attractions section of the Carowinds site.
Chestnuts roasted by Ragnarok @ 07/26/2006 01:23 AM EST
I saw the movie, Monster House in 3-D Imax. We sat second row in front center. IT IS AWESOME!
By the way where's the reference to x-e in the sweepstakes spot?
Chestnuts roasted by Matt's secret admirer ----->---@ @ 07/26/2006 01:23 AM EST
spaz, all the buzz originally started in the blogosphere (I love/hate that word). The condensed version is snakes fever hit the internets about a year ago, then the PTB went back and reshot some additional footage to up the ante on the sex and violence in the movie, and incorporate the already famous line about motherfucking snakes on motherfucking planes. The movie was gold before the first teaser trailers ever hit.
Now I'm starting to wonder if I need to get tickets early for 8/18. This and Pirates are the movies I'm counting on to meet my expectations of an awesome summer movie.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/26/2006 01:27 AM EST
Thank you to all the people who responded to my survey! I'd just like to say that "Snakes on a Plane" sounds like a bit a of simple premise to me. But, I suppose it would be a tough thing to face in real life, since you couldn't really run away anywhere(I guess that's the whole idea). As a matter of fact, I imagine that sort of thing has happened in real life! Pretty frightening, I imagine. One more thing: what's the deal with all the sequels and remakes these days? I can almost imagine it now:
You thought it was over...
You thought there was no one
left...
You were wrong...
SHE'S BACK!!! SHE'S BAD!!!
TITANIC II: THE SURVIVORS
Coming to a theater near you around the same time pigs fly...
Chestnuts roasted by Hoverbored @ 07/26/2006 02:28 AM EST
I just don't get what the big deal is. There's already infinity movies like that out; it just shows that people don't watch enough bad horror. I'll take "Mosquito" with Gunnar Hansen wielding a chainsaw against giant mosquitos any day. It just seems like SoaP is trying too hard, and I think people will be disappointed after realizing they paid 8 dollars and spent two hours watching a movie just to tell people they saw it, not necessarily because they wanted to.
Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 07/26/2006 03:28 AM EST
I have been waitin for SoaP my whole life. Well, for the last several months. If anyone lives in the philly area, my friends and I are trying to get a big-ass group together to go to one of the first showings. We even have a myspace group Snakes on a Plane on Philly or SoaPoP. Yes, we are losers.
Chestnuts roasted by Geoffinsanity @ 07/26/2006 07:33 AM EST
maybe this is a stupid question, but why can't they just land the plane?
Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 07/26/2006 10:05 AM EST
I am excited for SoaP. For whatever reason I am on the bandwagon of people who just want to hear the mandatory lines of the movie. Bandwagons are fun. It also seems as though it's gonna be one of those things that people are "so over" because it became huger than huge.
Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 07/26/2006 10:09 AM EST
Knegative
What's this about the Star Wars kid? That's the first I've heard of it.
bitchpants
I'm guessing that they can't land the plane, because then the movie would be too short.
Chestnuts roasted by bad karma @ 07/26/2006 10:19 AM EST
I always thought the snakes were supposed to be some diabolical way of highjacking a plane. I mean, you should be able to get them through a metal detector, and a venomous snake is probably even more deadly than a boxcutter. This is going to give Snakecharmers a bad name... now everyone will think they're terrorists! Might I conclude with saying that I too missed the buzz on this movie and I really have no idea what I'm talking about.
Chestnuts roasted by Megatron78 @ 07/26/2006 10:44 AM EST
I'll definitely need more convincing to go to SoaP. I don't mind snakes, but ... I don't know, just the whole thing doesn't even sound very interesting. :/ Maybe there's more to it than just some stupid ol' snakes getting loose on a plane? Maybe? Hopefully?
Matt's secret admirer: The X-E reference is in the very beginning, when the space ship flies by, you can see "X-E 79" on the tail, and the communication guy says "Shuttle X-E 79, please report your status."
Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 07/26/2006 10:56 AM EST
As someone who liked Anaconda, Anacondas, Arachnophobia, Congo, and as one of the few people on the planet who can sit through Eight Legged Freaks without subsequent self-inflicted gunshot wounds, I would dig SoaP with or without the hype. But the hype is what's gonna make it.
People want to love this movie. They want to cheer at it and turn it into a living, breathing thing, and we haven't seen theater camp taken to that level since like, shit, Friday the 13th Part IV. It's going to be testosterone's answer to Rocky Horror. At this point, the studio has embraced the hype so much that it feels less genuine and awesome than in its beginning stages, but that doesn't change the audience participation this SoaP is sure to have. See it; this could be the worst movie ever made, and you'll still have a blast.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/26/2006 11:03 AM EST
bitchpants: The plane is flying from Hawaii to (I assume) California, so they can't land. The reason they're flying out of Hawaii is so that Samuel Jackson can escort a witness who is going to testify against a Mafia don. I guess the Mafia's pretty big in Hawaii. So the Hawaiian Mafia sneaks a time-release crate of venomous snakes aboard the plane carrying the witness, dooming him to a fangorious fate before he can testify.
Now do you people see why this movie can't possibly fail?
Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 07/26/2006 11:12 AM EST
Now what I'm gonna do is, I'm gonna go up in that cockpit and find my snake.
Oh, how I know it's my snake?
It's the one that says Bad Motherfucker.
Chestnuts roasted by Jules Winnfield @ 07/26/2006 11:13 AM EST
I guess it just hit me that some don't know how this movie became famous. So click on my name
Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 07/26/2006 11:16 AM EST
Hoverbored, click my name and watch the video for Titanic 2: Two The Surface. So funny, and so well done!
I'm looking forward to SoaP, just because of the hype and the backstory. The fact that the studio gave people what they wanted (or at least what they said they wanted) for once will be good to see; the last time I remember New Line doing that was Freddy vs Jason!
Chestnuts roasted by Dr Sketch @ 07/26/2006 12:00 PM EST
YES! Finally, X-E hits Snakes on a Plane. I have the teaser poster hanging up in my office right now and have been so excited to see this movie that I can hardly stand it.
It's going to be so bad! and that's good! Not bad in a cool way, like, I'm so bad with my white leather jacket, but, It's bad like, that brown and yellow chunky milk is bad, and fun to play with.
Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 07/26/2006 12:16 PM EST
Ok, it wasn't until I just read the Wikipedia thing that I realized the movie might actually work. Let me back up, I first saw a preview for it a few months back and thought "This is the worst thing I have ever seen...ever. This premise is so ridiculous...so why is Samuel Jackson in it? Hmmm."
Then I read that it was initially intended to be a little less serious than I was led to believe. So ok, I wanna see it now. Plus Sam Jackson yelling obscenities at snakes? C'mon, that's celluloid magic!
Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 07/26/2006 12:28 PM EST
plan on picking up the SOAP soundtrack when it releases? i do.
i was in NYC last week and saw that billboard and took something like 10 pictures. here's my best one:
http://www.deviantart.com/view/36718258/
word up.
cant wait for dailu august updates.
Chestnuts roasted by brianfax @ 07/26/2006 12:47 PM EST
When the news came out about the 'Net-influenced changes, I should have started a online campaign to include a musical number. Real Buzby Berkley kind of stuff.
"We're Snakes,
Snakes on a plane!
Poisonous serpents,
Both fancy and plain.
We're snakes,
Snakes on a plane!
We have to kill the witness
Who's such a pain!
We're snakes,
Snakes on a plane!
You wouldn't have to
Deal with us if you
Took the train!
We're Snakes!
SSSSSssssss..."
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/26/2006 12:57 PM EST
Hooray for net-generated trends! Vive le snakes, also. I am so definitely going to see this movie. I *do* wonder if it'll be a Blair Witch Project, but I don't think so since the issue I had with that movie was that it was pretty much not fun to view/endure it more than once. I did like it the first time tho.
Chestnuts roasted by Todd @ 07/26/2006 01:46 PM EST
8 Legged Freaks is great...you've got ScarJo, David Arquette and goop-filled arachnids, how can you go wrong?
BWP was much more gimmicky than SoaP. Though if it turns out that someone kicks dat map outta da fucking plane I might reconsider that position.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/26/2006 02:22 PM EST
That voice that says "Shuttle XE 79..."
It sounds so familiar...
Chestnuts roasted by Whatever @ 07/26/2006 02:38 PM EST
Bad Karma
Basically this kid made a video of himself performing the Darth Maul/Obi Wan/Qui Gon fight with what looked like a shower rod.
His friends posted it on the internet and it became a sensation. Then he complained that he was ridiculed because of it, and sued his friends.
If only he had friends who thought what he was doing what cool. Oh wait, he did, and they made him famous, and then he sued them.
dee dee dee
Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 07/26/2006 04:21 PM EST
For me, the entire POINT of Snakes on a Plane is that it is a stupid, ridiculous premise and a completely unoriginal title. That automatically=="crap movie."
But when the internet got a hold of it and started lambasting it for how stupid it was, rather than get all pissed off, the producers said "you know what? They're right...So lets go back and make it even MORE stupid and ridiculous"
Thus, it now automatically=="Crap movie that is so terrible that you can't stop laughing." (an example of this type of movie would be The Super Mario Bros. Movie.
Kudos to the producers for recognizing their idea was shit and going with it.
Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 07/26/2006 04:36 PM EST
Does anyone remember the SoaP sketch they did on SNL a couple of years ago? This was way before the movie was even the movie was even a concept. I think Samuel L Jackson even hosted that week. At the end the snake looks right at you and gives you some funny warning.
Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/26/2006 04:39 PM EST
Kingklash, you've said many awesome things in your career, but this is the best. I would kill for musical accompaniment for this! LOL
Chestnuts roasted by Terror Claws Cole @ 07/26/2006 04:55 PM EST
I do remember some sketch, but it's not very clear. This movie will be much better, or worse, either will be great for some reason.
Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 07/26/2006 05:00 PM EST
I just typed up a huge defense of Star Wars Kid, but I'm not even gonna go there.
Anybody have any opinions on the Final Destination 3 DVD with the choose-your-own-adventure feature?
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/26/2006 05:22 PM EST
Why am I not surprised that me and Squee disagree on something?
Granted I don't know every detail, and you can call me on that, and I'll gladly admit it. However, he looked like he was doing an aweseome job of it, and with the effects it just looked better.
Maybe I have thicker skin. I'd be walking around campus saying "that's right, that was me, I was tearing it up!" But maybe I've just attained confidence in myself, in the face of the world. He's certainly much younger, and maybe he did feel hurt by it.
So, if you want to say that I'm only looking at it from the POV of me-in-his-shoes, then I concede. Let's not waste blog space on it, I just wanted a consensus.
Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 07/26/2006 07:18 PM EST
I don't want to get into a protracted discussion on it either, as I'm not hugely familiar with the whole story, but I never heard that the people who posted the video were "friends", just that they found the footage and shared it to make fun of the boy. So now this young kid involuntarily has his anonymity shattered and is subject to ridicule on a massive (MASSIVE) scale...I'm glad we got a great Arrested Development parody out of it, but I don't think it's a bad thing that the culprits should be held responsible for their actions. That was a great episode of Arrested though, so maybe it was worth it 
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/26/2006 07:52 PM EST
I think anyone with that much free time should use it wisely. Acting like a complete ass in front of a camera with a Shower rod is completely a good use of time. However, just as I would say to Paris Hilton, if you do not want anyone to see something you are doing... DO NOT VIDEOTAPE IT!!!! I mean seriously, if you wanted complete anonymity, you would perform this hilarious feat in front of a mirror and not a camera. -End Rant-
Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 07/26/2006 08:44 PM EST
Videotaping yourself doing stupid shit it fun! I have a whole fucking video of me and my bff from 9th grade and her little sister acting like jackasses at 3 in the morning. Singing and dancing to the theme song to Fraggle Rock and the likes. I think it was better than what the rest of the kids in my high school were doing -- that being smoking pot and fucking in the cornfields behind the school.
I haven't changed much since those vidoes other than I part my hair on the side now and I'm better on putting on my make-up.
Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 07/26/2006 09:02 PM EST
Yes, it is fun undeniably, but if you wanna keep it from public scrutiny, do not immortalize it forever with a video camera is all I am saying.
Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 07/26/2006 09:09 PM EST
Snakes on a Plane makes me wish that every airplane flight had snakes and Samuel L. Jackson aboard. I'd pay double to experience that.
Anyway, I don't know a lot about the Star Wars Kid story, but it bothers me now that everyone with a video camera is trying to become famous by doing random, forced, silly stuff. They don't want to entertain or anything like that. At least what he did was genuine (maybe out of boredom, etc.), even if he didn't want the attention.
Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Acula @ 07/26/2006 11:02 PM EST
Holy Crap, did anyone else see Monster House? I thought it was awesome, I didn't have a clue what to expect and I cracked up the whole time. Definetely one of the most original movies to come out in a while.
Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 07/26/2006 11:09 PM EST
Be careful what you post, it may almost come true.
Me, Mrs. Manimal, and E. Claire were almost killed (or at least seriously injured) driving to the beach Monday. SUMMARY: Not my fault, high speeds, we spun out and almost hit one car (AT LEAST), and the other driver kept on driving. Very scary and, although it is too soon to tell, possibly life altering.
BOTTOM LINE: If you want to videotape yourself being stupid, fair enough. As long as you are alive, healthy, and not harming others, it doesn't matter.
Chestnuts roasted by The UNDEAD Manimal @ 07/26/2006 11:44 PM EST
JL, I saw that sketch too, and it was with John Goodman, with Will Ferrell as the pilot who is slowly poisoned after a snakebite from one of the cobras (there were 5 in all), and when the sketch was over, one of the Cobras did show up and said he liked playing "games" like the "Tie Game" and the "Steak Game."
Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/26/2006 11:50 PM EST
Oh, that SNL skit you guys are referencing was When Cobras Attack, with the creepy ruby-eyed snakes. John Goodman was in it, I think?
Also, that Star Wars kid *did* get a free iPod from some 'fans' who felt bad for him taking it as a humiliating thing. They gave him a $2,600 gift certificate and stuff, also. Kind of like the 'Numa numa' guy, Gary.. then that got parlayed into YouTube's Brookers chick who tried to put an end to that. Fads are fun!
Chestnuts roasted by Todd @ 07/27/2006 12:36 AM EST
Would SoaP have created so much buzz if it wasn't called SNAKES on a Plane? My guess is no. We're in love with the absurd.
Now for my fast food story. When I was 16 I was working at McDonald's. There was this older, slightly mentally retarded lady who also worked there (who breathed really heavily and sweated a lot). Well one day she "escaped" (no, I'm not making this up) when one of the big trucks that deliver food had left the door open and unattended. My job was to find her, which was not hard as she was behind the dumpster eating a packet of those little cookies they used to have. Only the weirdest of things happen to me.
And as for videotaping yourself. There's a video somewhere of me and my best friend making instant mashed potatoes at 2 in the morning and then improvising a (Danzig-style, metal-ish) song on the ukelele with the main lyric being "who put the meat in my potatoes?"
Chestnuts roasted by Rebecca @ 07/27/2006 01:10 AM EST
I don't remember a SoaP sketch,but I definately remember MadTV's "Jason in Space" skit airing a couple years before that movie. And,if you'll recall,"Jason X" is one of the finest movies ever filmed,so there's hope for SoaP.
Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 07/27/2006 07:22 AM EST
Thanks Knegative for giving me the lowdown on the SW Kid. I must've totally been out of the loop on that one. And thanks squee for the additional info and viewpoint.
Chestnuts roasted by bad karma @ 07/27/2006 08:59 AM EST
Hey X-E,
I am currently working on my cemetery and props for Halloween. I have a huge display and I am making this year even better. My home and display are starting to become the talk of the area in which I live. Anyway, with that set aside, I need the assistance of the XE collective minds. I need a new name for my cemetery. I am creating new signage and I need a good cemetery name. Please help, I hate to thread jack but I need some ideas. Anyone???? I will check back throughout the day. The winner will be notified and I will be sure to post pics somewhere, maybe with Matt???
Thanks all.
Chestnuts roasted by Tigerfan @ 07/27/2006 09:29 AM EST
Thanks everyone. That was the sketch I was thinking of.
Another sketch that mirrors later life is on the pilot episode of SNL. Chevey Chase does a commercial parody of a razor with 3 blades and he has bloody toilet paper all over his face. They even updated it in the early 90s with 8 bladed razors with one of them being a roll of toilet paper. Today, were on razors with 5-6 blades with more coming probably.
Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/27/2006 12:28 PM EST
MAD TV did a razor with 20 blades. The first ten would basically flay you to the bone, and the next ten would start the whole process over, "just to be sure."
The whole point of SWKid is: If you must flop around with a golf ball retreiver, either erase the tape afterward, or take it with you. Take only video, leave only sweat.
I'm still trying to get Little Brother to come post here. He's the expert on random flights of fancy. He also has vast experience in the fast food world. He has some really great stories about the freaks you meet at McD's.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/27/2006 01:18 PM EST
Sleepy Acres, Zombie Factory, Dirt 'N Daisys, Red Oaks, Hollowed Pines, Zed's Daycare, Bill's Graveyard and Lamp Emporium, Decay Drive, The Valley, Honey I turned the front yard into a cemetary, Paul's Plots, Spare Parts For Sale
Just off the top of my head. And good job on getting into the Holliday spirit so early. I for one can not wait for the Halloween countdown and the Advent and Advert Calendar.
Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 07/27/2006 01:45 PM EST
Tigerfan:
I've never tried to name a cemetery before, but I'll give it a shot:
Bonenanza
Glooming Acres
Mouldering Heights
The Slough of Despond
Biers (The original sign, if you want to get the font right.
FOR SALE: Vintage Formal Wear. Slightly Used.
Dust to Dust or Bust
This Mortal Coil: All Gates Departing
Necropalooza
Field of Screams
Wormstock
Fossil Factory
Oil Futures
Pine Box Derby
The Bone Orchard
Honest John's Discount Corpses
Final Destination
Dirty Rottin' Scoundrels
The Sum of All Fears
Crude Matter Repository (for you Yoda fans)
Stiffs 'R' Us
Skull Island
The End
Gathering Dark
Heaven's Gate
Hellsgate
That Farm Where Your Mom Told You Your Dog Went To Live
Pax Mortem Eternum
Buried Treasure
Yonder Distant Shore
Game Over
Grim Fandango
Realm of the Reaper
The Last Trump
Moulon Mort
The Hangman's Wages
The Topsoil Motel
The High Cost of Living
Snakes on the Astral Plane
Bob Hope's Fanbase
and, finally,
Ex-Entertainment.
There. Hopefully there's something you can use there. And if you click my name, you can find a pretty decent selection of tombstones. May be some good epitaths that you missed out on last year. Good luck!
Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 07/27/2006 02:06 PM EST
jedoc
dang!
Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 07/27/2006 02:38 PM EST
Great, now you've got me punning. We could be here all day. Fortunately for you, Greymatter will probably block me if I come up with any more.
The Terminal Terminal
Spectreton
The Hills Were Alive
The Corpsarium
Espirit de Corpse
Grave Situation
The Ones That Almost Got Away
The Garden of Good and Evil
Autumn’s Ashes
Boot Hill
The Hereafter
The Pearly Gates
Bad Seeds
The Wages of Sin
The Embalmer’s Showcase
Petrified Woods
Cape Fear
The Bitter End
Spooks-a-Million
Southern Gothic (or Northern Gothic. Whichever works.)
I’m Sorry, Jim.
Maggot Convention
Decomposure
The Pale Rider’s Hitching Post
Das Knochengarten
Last Call
Soul Train
The Plots Thicken
Exit Clause
Wrongful Termination
Penny Pair Plaza
Totally Boned
“Hey, Watch This!”
Dead Ringers
Did Us Part
Ghost Town (Seriously)
The Undertaken
Corpse Copse
Pus in Boots
Ichoris
Friendly Neighborhood Mortuary: You Stab ‘Em, We Slab ‘Em.
The Cannibal’s Pantry
The Inhumed Crowd
100% Money Back Guarantee if Still Alive Three Days After Burial
Please Don’t Robb Zombies
The Dance Floor
Rebels Without a Pulse
Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 07/27/2006 02:43 PM EST
I worked at Carvel. I had to wear a bright pink polo and ill fitting gray pants. Considering I weighed 130lbs at the the time, had horrible skin and wore glasses, I think that's humiliation enough.
Snakes on a Plane is going to kick all sorts of ass. It's no more absurd than a movie about sentient alien robots that turn into everyday objects and bring their war to Earth.....uhhh.....
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 07/27/2006 03:12 PM EST
Ye Olde Corpse Depository
Dead End
Population:
The Pit Stop
Please Call before digging
Underground Tunnel System
Necrophiliacs Anonymous
La Casa de Muerto
Ash's Chainsaw training and shooting range
Uncle Felix's Fun Field
Ted's Tombstone Collection
The Depot
Reposesed Bodys
Ravenous Red's All-U-Can-Eat Buffet (notice, consuming raw or undercooked meats and shellfish could pose possible health risks)
The Hub
Kitty's Cattacombs
Canabalistic Cattacombs
Decomposition Station
Necropolis
Build-A-Zombie
Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 07/27/2006 03:22 PM EST
Fred's Deads
The (dead) Body Shoppe
Rigamortis A'Plenty
Rigamortisville
Death's Half Acre
Hell's Half Acre (this is the name of a book)
This is not a graveyard, and this is deffinatly not a trap set up by zombies, please come in for free cookies
Stormy Swamp
Gloom 'N Gravel
Gray Mourning or Mourn
Morbiddity
Obituariville
Black Jack's Crematorium
The Dead Zone
Falling on Death's Ears
Fowler's Used Flowers
Rocks with Stuff Written' on 'em
Hal's Holes
Peek-a-Boo Point
Crowded Garden
Lonely Garden
Black Garden
Unlive Garden
Gray Gates
Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 07/27/2006 03:38 PM EST
Hope this doesn't encroach on any sort of anti-linking rules...
http://www.allyoursnakesbelongtous.com/index.php
...I thought it was funny.
Chestnuts roasted by Lazarus @ 07/27/2006 04:02 PM EST
Fox and Jedoc,
I can't thank you two enough for the ideas. Keep them coming, I will have to review all the possiblities and make a selection tonight. I will be using some of these for sure. One for the cemetery name and some as signs around the plots, columns, fence, etc. I knew I could count on the sick, twisted minds of X-E. Also, I know Matt has not made any noise on this topic, but I want to thank him for allowing me to tap into the X-E minds. Thanks and I will keep everyone posted on the progress and maybe have some pics. Display goes up the first weekend in OCT.
Chestnuts roasted by Tigerfan @ 07/27/2006 04:25 PM EST
Man, those name suggestions are all pretty dang funny. The one that I personally like is Buried Treasure. That's so wrong! Hahaha!
Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 07/27/2006 04:34 PM EST
I loved the one about the place your mom told you that your dog went to when it died. I would use it but I don't want to catch any crap from parents. I have a lot of kids that visit on Halloween and lots of kids that stop to take pictures in front of the cemetery during that month.
Chestnuts roasted by Tigerfan @ 07/27/2006 05:08 PM EST
I'd sell my mother just to be on the Snakes On A Plane premier.
Chestnuts roasted by dudefromfinland @ 07/27/2006 05:46 PM EST
You forgot:
Dead & Deader.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/27/2006 07:22 PM EST
Snakes on a Grave
Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 07/27/2006 07:39 PM EST
I agree with Manimal- nothing matters as long as you're healthy and alive.
I had a BAD week- the Crohn's Disease kicked it into overdrive, and my intestine swelled up so bad that it sealed shut and shut down. This resulted in my stomach being distended- swollen out like I was pregnant- and a 3 day stay in the hospital where I puked up my stomach acid (wasn't allowed any food for 3 days). They let me out for a day, and tomorrow I am on my way to a bigger and better hospital where hopefully they'll be able to help me... sigh.
The worst part is that I have been away from the internet for days, and I HATE not being able to eat. I just hope I can get better and salvage the rest of the summer- "Clerks II", "SOAP" and a big bag of popcorn await me!!
Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 07/27/2006 08:42 PM EST
What X-E fan couldn't resist??
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/teenagemutantninjaturtles/tmnt_large.html
Welcome to the next generation of Green...
Chestnuts roasted by Lazarus @ 07/27/2006 08:53 PM EST
Muppet Baby: I really hope you get well soon and are able to get to do everything on your summer to do list!
Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 07/27/2006 08:59 PM EST
Muppet Baby
I wish you well.
Here's to being healthy and alive!
Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 07/27/2006 09:44 PM EST
It'll be okay, Muppet Baby, and try to get better. My favorite part of being sick is afterwards because you appreciate life better when you are pain and health-worry free and that part is coming up for ya. Take care hun.
Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 07/27/2006 10:09 PM EST
Manimal-
Glad you and your family are okay. I bet you were all wearing seat belts, weren't you?
Muppet Baby-
I was curious what Crohn's Disease was, so I did a quick Google search. Boy does that suck! I wish I had something smart to say, but all I can think of is "Hope you feel better."
Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 07/28/2006 12:40 AM EST
I almost forgot. This would have been more appropriate for the last thread, but I heard that people are protesting my company's head office in West Mifflin, PA. Any of you Pennsylvania folken heard anything?
It seems sort of silly to protest the lab that designs the Navy's nuclear reactors. I mean, without US technological superiority, especially the nuclear Navy, I firmly believe we would have lost the Cold War. Our fast attack subs and boomers were faster and quieter than the Soviets', and a large portion of that is because of the work that was done by that laboratory. Don't those protestors realize that the free speech they are enjoying comes from the work that they are condemning?
Regardless of what you think about nuclear power or US foreign policy, I think most of us would agree that democracy is better than communism.
Personally, I think the government is nutty for building more naval reactors. Seriously, who is left to fight? Up-and-coming adversaries like China, India, etc. just don't have the capabilities we have. But the lab still needs to exist- now a primary function is figuring out what to do with this stuff as it becomes obsolete.
I shall now step off my soap box and return to thinking about how jazzed I am that Peter Cullen is going to play Optimus Prime in the upcoming Transformers movie. When I found out I could barely contain my joy. I don't care how many times Samuel L. Jackson says "motherfucker"- it can't compare to when Peter Cullen says "Autobots, transform and roll out!"
Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 07/28/2006 01:13 AM EST
Muppet Baby, hang in there. At least you're not REALLY pregnant! Yay!
Seriously, I do hope you feel better. Take it easy, go greasy.
Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 07/28/2006 02:32 AM EST
yea, what we really need right now is another snake movie for Sci-Fi to play.
Though the name beats all, I admit that.
Chestnuts roasted by the80sruled @ 07/28/2006 04:10 AM EST
My girlfriend has the Crohn's disease,and it's teh suck.
Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 07/28/2006 07:41 AM EST
spaz - your company's head office is in West Mifflin?? Do you work there? I grew up right down the street from there and my parents still live in the area. surprisingly, I haven't heard anything about the protest
Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 07/28/2006 09:51 AM EST
Tigerfan: I'm late to the party, but how about: "Lawn of the Dead?"
Which I am now trademarking.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/28/2006 10:24 AM EST
So can we look forward to another X-E art contest for Halloween? I'm already trying to think of what monster could do what.
Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 07/28/2006 11:24 AM EST
"Home of the Stiffy"
Oof! That's a bit of trouble, Muppet Baby no bout adoubt it. But you'll beat it back into submission, I'm sure of it. Could be worse. Remember what happened to Grunthos the Flatulant. Ok, that was more of a heroic sacrifice on behalf of his own intestine, but really, having your brain get throttled by your personal sausage casings has got to be pretty low on any priority list. Bad poetry or not.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/28/2006 01:35 PM EST
How about a more humorous graveyard name, such as "Generic Spooky Graveyard A"
Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 07/28/2006 02:05 PM EST
No one's going to point out the irony of me and Muppet Baby's recent death scares and this thread becoming the "Name a Graveyard" blog???
Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 07/28/2006 02:09 PM EST
What doesn't kill you, just makes you stranger.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/28/2006 02:55 PM EST
I had a death scare about a week ago myself.
Here's a couple:
Corpses R' Us
Super Dead Scary Land
Cannibal Supermarket
Chestnuts roasted by Deuce @ 07/28/2006 03:11 PM EST
bitchpants-
I work in Idaho. And I now have to wonder if the rumor mill blew a couple of nimrods holding signs out of proportion. Such exagerations have happened before.
Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 07/28/2006 06:45 PM EST
Hang in there, Manimal and Muppet Baby!! (just looked up Crohn's Disease on wikipedia...screw "Get well Soon" cards, get well NOW!!)
And here are some suggestions for the ironic Name That Graveyard survey:
-(Tigerfan's name)'s Family Reunion (I'm bad)
-Blood, Bath & Beyond
-Pining for the Fjords
-Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice
-Tom Cruise's Career (or just replace that name with any random celebrity)
-Home of Marcus The Carcass (who remembers this guy??)
-Dig Your Own Grave and Save!
-Slightly Used Caskets 30% off!
-Free Ribs
For any of the above mentioned, have a sign reading "Live Bait" pointing to the graveyard, like in those National Lampoon books with the funny signs (which I have 2 versions of, and it's in both of them)
And finally, I also love the name "Buried Treasure"
Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/28/2006 07:30 PM EST
Actually, Invader Norbert Mexicans (I used to work at a cemetary) make sure you bury the person, they stand around and watch. Why? Because back in mexico after the funeral and after all of the people are gone the guys in charge of the burial would throw the dead person in the hole and then resell the casket. True story. Unbelievable huh?
It wasn't that interesting, the job I mean, I mowed grass mostly, and I got to prepare and bury a marine that lost his life in Iraq. Fun. And that was the week the boss was on vacation we got to do that! That week was tiresome.
Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 07/28/2006 09:48 PM EST
Working in fast food? Please, don't give me nightmares. My first (so-called) "real" job was working in the McDonald's in North Cape May. That particuar MickeyD's has been owned for as long as the citizens of southern Cape May County can remember by a short, ugly, nasty old woman and her very sweet, kind husband. Guess which one hired me...and guess which one harrassed me because I didn't clean to their specification or didn't cook things the way they wanted? I was never even told I was fired. I just wasn't on the schedule for about three weeks, then finally asked one of the head managers about it and was told I was "let go." Yeah, right. I'm still not a McD's fan to this day (and their food doesn't help).
As for "Snakes On a Plane"...yawn. I read about it, and it sounds like a snore. I'll take Johnny Depp on the run from natives if I want action.
Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 07/28/2006 11:32 PM EST
So A Scanner Darkly opens nationwide today. It's about time. Lake House wasn't bad, and this is gonna be awesome. Good year for Keanu. But then again, what year isn't?
And Is it just me or is it hot as f***? I've already removed as much clothes as I can w/o offending anyone's sense of decency, and the a/c is "cranked to 11" as they say. WTF?
Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 07/29/2006 04:21 AM EST
Thank you to all the people who responded to my survey. I apprecitate it!
And now, some contributions to the name-that-cemetary survey:
"If you were dead you'd be home now!"
"Cheatem & Howes' Organic Strawberry Farm"
"I can't believe it's a cemetary!"
"Al's Gravedigging School"
"IHOC: International House of Corpses"
"Cadaver King"
"Bob's Cemetary, Clothing Store and Mexican Restaurant"
"Cindy's health spa for the living-impaired"
"It's this or the East River"
"the grim reaper's backyard"
Chestnuts roasted by Hoverbored @ 07/29/2006 06:41 AM EST
I also live near West Mifflin, Pa. I graduated from Thomas Jefferson High School in 1998. Lots of Pa people in here.
Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 07/29/2006 09:39 AM EST
Look forward to hearing more about SNOAP here on X-E. I used to visit this site a lot a few years ago and have just rediscovered it's ability to waste hours of my day. Loved the disney world article, really brought back memories from my family vacation there in 1990, I was 6 years old.
Anyways keep up the good work and thank you for the distractions!
Chestnuts roasted by Gweff @ 07/29/2006 11:37 AM EST
looking foward to the Aug. Mega Party--
(I would post this in the Saturday Night Thread, but it isnt up yet).
Matt, it would be tough, but very cool if an X-E party was orgonised at some point. Talkin about an actual event where we can all drink Kool-Aid together
Chestnuts roasted by Joker @ 07/29/2006 12:00 PM EST
The Bury Patch.
A Corpse Is A Corpse, Of Course, Of Course.
(and no one should talk to a corpse, of course. Unless, of course, in fact, the corpse is the Famous Mister Dead.)
Eyesocket Hollow.
Worm Championship Pinochle-On-Your-Snout Tournament.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/29/2006 01:54 PM EST
Sam Jackson is what makes SoaP. No one else can say muthafucka like him. Hearing his voice is just instant comedy to me but I hate payig 8.25 to see a movie so i'll watch it for free somehow....as for star wars kid...you cannot be mad for giving someone access to something you thought was embarassing. It was your idea for filming yourself and think of it this way....It could be a lot worse...you could've been taped doing something lewd or much,much, much more embarassing. When you are older you will laugh at yourself along with everyone else. I have a tape of myself half-concussed and drunk of my ass being totally stupid and I was really embarassed about it but i learned to laugh at myself. Then again it was never posted on the internet...Just get over it kid!
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 07/29/2006 02:51 PM EST
Star Wars kid? The story is, he taped over someone elses video. apparently the video belonged to his school basketball team, and he taped over one of thier games.
then his parents sued because he was embarassed? they would make ALOT more money if they embraced it. thier son was an instant celebrity, cash in on it!!
side not. *x-e party*
Chestnuts roasted by Joker @ 07/29/2006 06:45 PM EST
I would attend. I always wondered what you crazy sons of bitches look like.
Chestnuts roasted by Old E @ 07/31/2006 06:45 PM EST
great. as if snakes didnt have bad image problems already.
Chestnuts roasted by Earthworm Soul @ 08/01/2006 11:53 PM EST
