07/21/2006 Entry: "Street Fighter 2: Plug & Play Edition."

I'd been eyeing it for months at the Toys 'R' Us across the street from work, and finally, consumer apathy had driven the price down to a level that made my private parts tickle. Mine, all mine.

It was one of them there finagled plug-and-play games. I own many plug-and-play game sets that have to date only been plugged-and-played once or twice, but considering that I was buying this one specifically for downtime in the office (downtime meaning any time I could get away with it), 19.98 was a holy number. Yessir, it's Street Fighter 2, Sega Genesis edition. I only ever had the SNES version, but no matter the console, Dhalsim is Dhalsim and I will make Chun-Li kick his ass all the same.

Look at that cute shit. The POWA BOX is fashioned like a baby version of the Sega Genesis, taking what was once considered the edgiest and fringiest system on the market and turning it into something I want to force pink bonnets upon. Making matters more awesome is the fact that this plug-and-play device bucks conventions by including two controllers. If you only got one controller with a game like Street Fighter 2, some consumer product developer could only be construed as cruel. Playing against the computer passes the time, but you're never going to scream "FUCK YOUR MOTHER WITH THIS FIREBALL, YA SHIT" if you're not contending with true flesh and blood.

My pal and co-worker Kevin and I set the game up when nobody was looking, and it's here that I should confirm that this is his office television set, and thus, his NY Rangers flag/thing and Offspring sticker. If you've got issues, don't take them up with me. Aside from a bonus Ghouls 'N Ghosts game (oh God yes), the set also comes with a booklet reminding you how to make Edmond Honda go wild with his hands, and how to make Blanka break out the Electric Slide.

Kev and I chose to skip the booklet's refresher course, because there's nothing more annoying than playing Street Fighter 2 against an opponent who demands 45 seconds of no-fight-time to learn his moves. Fuck that. Hit a button and hope for the best.

Like so many video game posers, I began my Street Fighter 2 reign long ago using only the giant characters -- the Zangiefs, the Hondas and the Blankas. To the untrained, clearly these were the money warriors. Eventually I learned the truth: If you want to win Street Fighter 2 fights without necessarily mastering the game, you gotta go with Chun-Li. Bitch is just too damn fast and agile. Plus, there's a certain indignity charged to your opponent when you defeat he or she with Chun-Li. You know the little victory dance each character does after winning a fight? Chun-Li's in the most annoying by far. She's like, "AH HA HA HA HA, I kicked this shithead's ass and I still have enough in the tank to do five jumping jacks."

Kevin swears that I fight cheap, but people need excuses when they get beat 400,000 times in a row.

Eventually, Kev realized that he could also pick Chun-Li and be just as cheap. My crystal record was soon ruined. Still a great game, and they've even got the six-warrior tournament option. My dream team of Chun-Li, Chun-Li, Chun-Li, Chun-Li, Chun-Li and Sagat will NEVER SURRENDER.

Finally, a plug-and-play that will do more for my life than make the bottom shelf of my television unit look more interesting. Hooray!

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 07/21/2006 01:33 PM EST

The Offspring?

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 07/21/2006 01:37 PM EST

That's what I said!

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/21/2006 01:37 PM EST

"because there's nothing more annoying than playing Street Fighter 2 against an opponent who demands 45 seconds of no-fight-time to learn his moves. Fuck that. Hit a button and hope for the best."

Agreed. Whenever someone says "Wait, I need time to learn my moves!" I'm always like, "Learn this move, BLAP! BLAM! BLIP!"

Chestnuts roasted by Matt(#2?) @ 07/21/2006 01:43 PM EST

You guys wanna know a secret? I have never played a Street Fighter game. Never did like fighting games. Too button mashy.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 07/21/2006 01:45 PM EST

Jeff: Oh man, you haven't lived until you've gotten into an actual fight in the middle of the living room over a fighting game because one of you is "cheating."

Chestnuts roasted by Matt(#2?) @ 07/21/2006 01:50 PM EST

I never got into fighting games until years after the Street Fighter/Mortal Kombat heyday, and I kinda wish I'd started playing them sooner.

We should have a match to see who can out-cheap each other, Matt, I'm a master of pissing people off with M. Bison.

Chestnuts roasted by Timmy @ 07/21/2006 02:03 PM EST

E. Honda was for bitches whose would immediately corner you with that fucking thousand-hand slap because they sucked at anything else.
Then I would slap them in real life.
Bitches.

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 07/21/2006 02:21 PM EST

Chun'Li and Dhalsim are my two best ones to use. I have SFII for SNES, CE for Genesis, and Super SFII for SNES. Nothin' like a little kick and punch action on a Sega Nomad.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/21/2006 02:28 PM EST

Those Plug-And-Plays or cool, but I guess they may not be selling to well. My local Gamestop (along with Blockbuster) had a whole bunch of them for under $10 (and some of them were even under $5).

If you guys ever played the old Justice League Fighting game from years back, the best way to win was to be the Flash. He could cream even Superman before he even tried to fly.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/21/2006 02:46 PM EST

The Offspring sticker was free and my garbage was full. I'm lying. I love The Offspring.

Chestnuts roasted by Whatever @ 07/21/2006 02:46 PM EST

I was big into Street Fighter 2 on SNES, and my money player was always Zangief. 90% of the times I beat the game, it was with Zangy, watching him do that fun little dance with the Russian president.

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 07/21/2006 02:47 PM EST

Had a TON of those plug n play games...almost got the Ms Pac Man wireless one. Till I realized all mine are dust suckers now. Wow, I played 30 bucks to play Pac-man and Pole Position for like an hour. And I thought arcades were pricey.

Chestnuts roasted by Terror Claws Cole @ 07/21/2006 02:48 PM EST

I'm gonna join Jeff in the "Too Button Mashy" camp. And I'm gonna refrain from making jokes about the NY Rangers.

Chestnuts roasted by LemurCat @ 07/21/2006 02:52 PM EST

I liked SFII in the arcades, but I LIVED for MKII in the arcades and at home. Installment numero dos was unquestionably the greatest of the Mortal Kombat franchise, and quite possibly the greatest fighting game of all time in my book. I knew every move and fatality by heart, and dispensed both with equal zeal.

Chestnuts roasted by The Yeti @ 07/21/2006 04:01 PM EST

Oh man, 3 days of vacation left and i have no money and i'm almost out of cigarettes. i think i may be stuck behind the computer screen the next couple of days

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 07/21/2006 04:11 PM EST

http://www.x-entertainment.com/archives/

I was just curious when the Archives section of the site would be up and running..That page it goes to has been there..it seems for a year and some..

I would love to go back and read somethings I have never seen..Sometimes the old articles will have links to other old ones on the sidebar, but when that runs out I am stuck again.

Chestnuts roasted by Vission @ 07/21/2006 04:35 PM EST

So wait, those Rangers things are from 1994 right? Are they thanking you for the many many years of abuse and suckitude you are about to wallow through as a fan of the franchise? I smell another ten years of absolute Ranger shit on the ice.

Chestnuts roasted by Maestro @ 07/21/2006 04:38 PM EST

I assume than that after 400,000+ matches you either didn't get caught doing "Material research" or simply developed an audience. I can't believe for a second that two people going head to head could stay quiet longer than a minute and a half.

Chestnuts roasted by Wenthral @ 07/21/2006 05:03 PM EST

What's wrong with Offspring? I wouldn't defend all of their output, but they had at least one good album.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/21/2006 05:06 PM EST

I remember that Justice League game.
It was my intoduction to the two most kickass characters ever, Darkseid and Green Arrow.

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 07/21/2006 05:11 PM EST

The Rangers things are from Opening night of 2005.

One says thank you and the other one tat's partially Hidden has Messier's number on it.

Perhaps a half "Thank's Mess for being you" and half "Thanks fans for not shitting on us like we were MLB after we cancelled an entire season"

Either way, after '94 another decade anda half of suckitude arrived.

Chestnuts roasted by selvig @ 07/21/2006 05:22 PM EST

I might give that to my friend telling him it's Ghouls N' Ghosts (with Street Fighter).

Chestnuts roasted by Rewolfj @ 07/21/2006 05:28 PM EST

I agree Squee...They had one good album and then turned into a joke...kinda sad.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 07/21/2006 05:30 PM EST

Ok, I admit I was the sucky kid mashing buttons with E. Honda. Well, I was a little justified: I'm half Japanese and was a little chunky growing up. That gave me enough of a bond to pick him. My friend hated me for it, but otherwise he would just kick my trash all day, because he owned it, and I didn't. Jerk.

Chestnuts roasted by Mad Cow @ 07/21/2006 05:31 PM EST

Using the "he's played it more than I have" excuse is the call of a scrub.

...
I'm not saying I'M not a scrub. I just bitched about people who used E. Honda, after all.

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 07/21/2006 06:00 PM EST

Still, being the only one to own a console is a mighty advantage. We had that one rich friend who had all the cool toys and was a complete bastard about it, and when we went over to his house to play MK II it was like there was the serious game going on between me and the rest of my poor-ass friends and then this subgame where the rich bastard friend would come and systematically destroy us using Johnny Cage just to add to the humiliation and shame. And we'd put up with it because hey, we sure didn't have a sega back on the farm.

Looking back, that guy was exactly like a very skinny version of Cartman.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 07/21/2006 06:30 PM EST

Didn't anyone else cheat to learn their moves? I'd play "two player", except it'd just be me and I'd carefully try to execute all the fancy combos with my one guy while my helpless opponent just waited there like a vegetable. I think I was way too anal for fighting games. Even now when I play RPGs, I have to complete ALL the sidequests.

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 07/21/2006 07:18 PM EST

"Street Fighter" I and II were some of the only hand-to-hand combat games my siblings and I ever really got into. I remember renting both for as many weeks as we could get away with; I actually got quite good with Blanka, enough to do more than slap people around. My sister still kicked my ass, though.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 07/21/2006 07:21 PM EST

Vission, try this:
http://www.x-entertainment.com/archives.html

I get the impression that Matt has mixed feelings about some of the older stuff on the site, so I wouldn't hold my breath for a real archive section.
But some of those older articles really capture a time when you couldn't just pick up Transformers and He-Man on DVD boxed-sets, and sites like this were the best thing going to remind you of what we used to get obsessed about.

It's strange - being nostalgic for material that inspires nostalgia.

Chestnuts roasted by eight-bit @ 07/21/2006 07:44 PM EST

Hey all. Haven't been around. Work's been killing me the past 2 weeks.

Just as an FYI, Peter Cullen, the original voice of Optimus Prime will be playing Prime in the new live action movie. All I cansay is that I can't fucking wait. I totally popped about 100 boners at once!! Seriously!!

Click the name for the info.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Galvatron @ 07/21/2006 07:50 PM EST

I was never huge into Street Fighter. I was always a MK2 freak. Me and Kitana go waaay back. I used to know all the special moves way back when special move books were magazine-sized instead of enourmous phone books of secret coded formulas.

Maybe I should try out some SF2, I'm pretty sure it's on the roster for tournaments at my older brother's gaming expo next month.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 07/21/2006 07:51 PM EST

Matt,
I assume from the banner hanging on the TV that you were at the Rangers home opener this year.
I was there, and had an awesome drunken time, I have that banner hanging on my closet door

Chestnuts roasted by jesse @ 07/21/2006 08:01 PM EST

Man....SF2:SCE cost me like 70 bucks alone back in the day. Of course I shouldn't have bought it at Babbage's or else i would have saved a lot of money but sometimes that was the only place that had newer games in stock suprisingly....

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 07/21/2006 08:01 PM EST

Street Fighter I? Did that actually get released here?

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 07/21/2006 08:05 PM EST

Squee - putting aside the fact that I don't like The Offspring and all of their songs sound the same (not looking to debate this!) it just surprised me to see an Offspring sticker.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 07/21/2006 08:17 PM EST

I should have read the article before posting. Now I know your co-worker went to the rangers opening game. so never mind my last post

Chestnuts roasted by jesse @ 07/21/2006 08:26 PM EST

Call me "scrub" or whatever but I was an E. Honda-er. I have no video game skills whatsoever. My friend tried to get me to play BATTLEFRONT II and I was completely lost. Part of the reason for this is that I have never owned a gaming system outside of the original GAMEBOY and now my wife's NES.
I could never go for Chun Li. Yeah, she's the best but I have to go with the monsters/freaks.
I have 2 PLUG N' PLAYS both MS. PAC MAN but one is wireless. I had foolish hopes of selling the wired one on ebay but they sell for nothing on there.

Anyone else see CLERKS II today?
My review: "It didn't suck."

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 07/21/2006 09:45 PM EST

Matt: I will fly to New York just so I can kick your Chun Li lovin' butt with Ken, or Ryu... even Guile.

Ohhh that would be sweeet.

Chestnuts roasted by Rich @ 07/21/2006 10:01 PM EST

I never played street fighter. I think the only fighting game I ever played was Tyson's. And that was different. So I can't bond.
I liked Offspring way back when, but till I saw that sticker I bet I hadn't thought about them in 8 years. But way way back when I liked Color Me Badd, so my judgement was off and meant nothing.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 07/21/2006 10:06 PM EST

Haven't been around much. Broke up with the b/f. Anywho...
I was, and still sort of am, a Crazy Button Masher. It was always fun to piss off a more serious player by doing impossible moves by just randomly mashing buttons.

Chestnuts roasted by DeeJay @ 07/21/2006 10:07 PM EST

Manimal, I too saw it today and I will agree that it didn't suck.

Even though the first Clerks is one of my favorite movies ever, Clerks II comes mighty close to it. For the fellow Kevin Smith fans, if you go see this, you will definately not be disappointed.

For a non-plot spoiler: Yes, even though the movie is in color, there are still scenes in B&W, and I'll leave it at that.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/21/2006 10:27 PM EST

Who the hell has that kinda tv... AT WORK?

Poor Kevin... There had to have been a better sticker lying around than that one.

I remember one time in my Graphics Design class in high school, someone brought in their Sega and we played tournaments of Street Fighter. I kicked all the guys asses! (I was the only girl)

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 07/21/2006 10:36 PM EST

Why Blanka is the best:
"He learned to electrify his body from the electric eels. I like the idea that this is something you can just pick up, like juggling or bellydancing. Maybe I could just take a course at community college: 'Becoming a Deadly Capacitor (Beginner Level),' which would take place just before my class on playing the recorder and just after my class on heat vision."

Taken from Lore Sjoberg's "The Book of Ratings".

Read more about the Street Fighter II characters here:
http://www.bookofratings.com/streetfighter2.html

And part 2, here:
http://www.bookofratings.com/streetfighter2-2.html

Chestnuts roasted by Tougi @ 07/21/2006 11:02 PM EST

jinx.com has some great geekish gamerish type of bumper stickers. I downloaded a discography of the offspring for a friend of mine a couple of months ago and the songs were the same flavor different lyrics. I was kind of dissapointed. I only really like the singles off of the albums. The kids aren't alright, keep 'em seperated etc.

I am drinking blue watermelon Hi C from a pouch, it is HOT HOT HOT today, around 100 so I am topless (I am a girl) and I am trying to just wait it out until the sun dies down for the day. Back to Hi C, for some reason I can't find the boxes, only the pouches. WTF?

I am hating on my sister cause she acts like she is better then everybody and she really really isn't. Before today she didn't have a job but she was acting like her say counts n shit. It probably looks like I am mean to her from an outsider's perspective, but she brought it on herself. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I CAN WORK FULLTIME SO I CAN MOOVEEE!!! End of rant.

Favorite SS2 character? Has to be blanka cause it's def brawns over brains for a mf fighting game.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 07/21/2006 11:13 PM EST

Blanka should so have his own spin-off game by this time. I personally think there's a lot of potential in a third-person platformer where your options include turning yourself into a large green cannon ball, hunkering down and running dangerous levels of voltage through yourself, and biting people in the face. Heck, with the wonders of modern technology, I bet we could come up with a scenario where you could do all three at the same time!

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 07/21/2006 11:15 PM EST

Kevin Smith's movies have fallen out of my favor in recent years...
Though I suppose I will go see Clerks 2 in the next week or so.
I don't expect much despite what people are saying.

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 07/21/2006 11:18 PM EST

I was completely and utterly obsessed with SFII as a kid.

I will forever pick Ryu. Chun-Li was always my back-up character if things weren't going well. Once in a while I'd pick M. Bison.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff Mack @ 07/22/2006 12:10 AM EST

I was never big into Street Fighter II. Fighting games really aren't my thing. Ok, I do like Super Smash Bros. Melee, but that's different.

The best part of Street figther is the Hadoken and Shuriken in Mega Man X and X2

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 07/22/2006 12:38 AM EST

Oh man I had mad lust for SF2 back in the day (as in arcade & SNES)... I beat it with each character in a few of the different versions. I have to say tho that I think Balrog was a weird, WEIRD choice for an end boss. This game goes best with those Ritz pizza-cracker-sandwich snack things. Do they still make those? I remember distinctly beating large, angry-looking guys in Slayer/Christian Death/Ozzy t-shirts in the arcade. I often wonder how bright that was... ah well!

Hope you guys are keeping coolish.

Chestnuts roasted by Todd @ 07/22/2006 01:14 AM EST

Todd

You mean "Lunchables?" Yes, I think they still make those.

...Dammit, now I want some of those!

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 07/22/2006 01:44 AM EST

Cameron T.

I love those! No, though I mean the "pizza" part was like a... powdery but not dry kind of filling between two little mini-ritz crackers. I think I bought them around 1994 or something. I haven't seen them for a while tho.

Chestnuts roasted by Todd @ 07/22/2006 02:01 AM EST

Right now there is a binder on my desk with over 300 pages of various Street Fighter strategy guides printed from the internet. Help me...

Seriously though, Street Fighter Alpha Anthology for PS2... Buy it, fuckers!

Chestnuts roasted by Bifflog @ 07/22/2006 02:55 AM EST

Lunchables are still around.

I have 2 problems with Kevin Smith's work; one of them is his fault, the other isn't.
1. I don't like the way he gives up. Movie flops (MALLRATS, JERSEY GIRL) and he bails on it. "Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking on that one", etc. CLERKS II is case in point. Alanis God closes the book on the ViewAskew universe, JERSEY GIRL comes out and bombs, then it's back to the Jay and Bob well. Where's the faith in one's ability to progress?
2. That being said, it could be that he had only one good one in him (like the OFFSPRING perhaps). No one expected the first CLERKS to do anything but when it did, Smith was proclaimed a genius. That's a lot to live up to. Sometimes things just happen, it's a phenomenon but THAT'S IT. EX: Hootie and the Blowfish, Woodstock '69, original STAR WARS trilogy, hell even DIRTY DANCING. All of the happenings listed above were subject to lesser incarnations/sequels. It sucks but it's true. Sometimes you have to realize that you have done your best and you will never be able to surpass it and, unfortunately, I think that is what happened to Mr. Smith.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 07/22/2006 09:58 AM EST

There are two ways to play fighting games: mindlessly pressing buttons hoping that you will beat the crap out of your opponent and memorizing the A + B + Y + Up + Down + Start equals triple axle kick combos. Both are equally mindless and stupid, which is why I never liked fighting games. Now a Mario Kart 64 plug and play would be right up my alley.

Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 07/22/2006 10:48 AM EST

Clerks II I will see tonight because of nostalgia, but Kevin Smith in general annoys me. All of those behind-the-scenes videos show him as the dorky kid who got popular and is still trying way too hard. His casual swearing sounds so forced...too bad he's such a great storyteller (as in An Evening with Kevin Smith, not as in movie making).

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 07/22/2006 12:26 PM EST

Todd, are you talking about Ritz Bitz Sandwiches?

Chestnuts roasted by Somethin' Funny @ 07/22/2006 02:04 PM EST

Hey, everyone! Goob's topless! You can see her brain! HA-ha... misunderstanding!

Anyone notice Gary Chalk on "Eureka"? Now, that's just Prime.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/22/2006 03:44 PM EST

Wasn't Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back after Dogma but before Jersey Girl though? I've said it before, but I think JaSBSB is pretty great for a stoner comedy. But then I didn't see Clerks until some time after it came out, so it never had any special nostalgic power for me.
I told my gamer friend about this plugnplay, but they were unimpressed as they've got both games available on a modified Xbox
I just saw an ad for the Animaniacs/Pinky & The Brain DVDs! Tuesday!

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/22/2006 03:51 PM EST

Kingklash Very funny. Ha ha. It actually brought a smile to my face though.

The company picnic tomorrow at my new work is at oaks park. It's a small amusement park in Portland. Free food, rides, drinks, and I heard rumors about somebody bringing a huge water balloon filled cooler. Sweet. I want to drench my friend I am bringing even though he's my ride.

I love the deep dish pizza lunchables, they're expensive, they're small portons, but I get them every once in a while.

I forgot to add about the SS2 topic, I picked RYU most of the time cause I knew how to do the Saduken? I am such a geek and not in a good way lol. And also I thought it looked horrible when the male competitor put the 'finishing touch' on a female by throwing her across the screen or pushing her so hard she flys across the screen. I know she deserved it but it just shocks me as all.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 07/22/2006 04:21 PM EST

SFII is one of those games that I was good at back when it was popular, but I could never play nowadays. I can't remember for the shit of me hoe to do most of the special moves, which are something essential to beating all of your friends. If you want to be a true master, you not only have to know how to perform all of the special moves, but also when and where it's most appropriate to execute them. I can't do any of these things anymore, which is why I suck at all fighting games.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/22/2006 04:45 PM EST

Yes Squee. That is the correct sequence. Alanis God closes the book at the end of JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK which seemingly brought an end to those kinds of Kevin Smith projects. Then you have JERSEY GIRL and then it is back to the CLERKS/Jay and Bob world.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 07/22/2006 07:40 PM EST

Somethin' Funny:

Yeah I think that's what they are! There was also peanut butter if I remember right. Good stuff, thus spaketh the Maynard.

Chestnuts roasted by Todd @ 07/23/2006 12:15 AM EST

Dang, I missed this entire thread. I worked OT Friday and Saturday, and just never felt like getting online. And I would really have like it too, so I'm going to post anyway.

I was always Chun-Li. In the original SF2 she was not cheap or unbalanced, because she had no fireball and her special moves kind of sucked. I mean, upside-down-bird-kick (she stood on her head then flew across the screen with her legs flailing) was just BEGGING to be fireballed.

I was also pretty good. I got to the city championship in a tournament held by Blockbuster. I should have won too.

I lost interest after SF2: Turbo. My friends were starting to get cars, and I got my first job. After that, I just didn't have time or interest in video games. I skipped from SNES all the way to XBox without owning a console, and I only got the XBox long after it had first come out.

Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 07/23/2006 12:15 PM EST

Man, if this were 5 years ago, I'd be very enthusiastic, since that was both my Street Fighter AND my Offspring period.

I still love a game of Street Fighter now and again, and although Offspring's been going downhill, I'll listen to some songs every once in a while.

Ryu is the only character for me.

Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 07/24/2006 02:39 AM EST

Zangief will always be my favorite. Who carves wicked designs in their chest hair like that?

Chestnuts roasted by Megatron78 @ 07/25/2006 04:44 PM EST