03/29/2006 Entry: "Of Coffee and Kool-Aid."

Whoa ho hey, sorry for the lack of me lately.  I've either been busy or in prolonged "why are we here" moods, neither of which makes me particularly fun to hang out with.  Massive freelance week -- did a movie review for Box Office Magazine, then wrote up my first "ongoing" ToyFare assignment, the "Free Toys" sidebar in the price guide section, which will now draw heavily from my immense collection of cereal premiums.  I knew they'd come in handy.  Everything related to cereal eventually does.  I also celebrated something or another by buying myself a new laptop.  Not a particularly good one, but I wanted something lightweight so I could write on the go.  Should've held out for a two-pounder, but carrying around my mighty five-pounder may finally provide me the shoulder definition I've so long hoped for.

It's always fun to write on a new computer.  It's like how everyone always does better in school during the first ten pages of a new notebook.  You're all into it and stuff.  I think it's transcended to the digital generation, because I feel more capable of WORDS WORDS WORDS than I have for at least a month.  Or, it could just be the coffee.

The sweet, sweet coffee that I thank my deity for every night before sacrificing a chicken.  I'm here for a reason, folks.  The Kool-Aid Section has been updated, finally with something that isn't seventy years old: Switchin' Secret, a flavor that starts one way, ends another way, and manages to end again in an another way entirely.  See it while you can.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 03/29/2006 09:54 PM EST

Hmmm. Seems clearer than most of your other mixtures, even the green ones (e.g. http://www.x-entertainment.com/kool-aid/reviews/kickin_kiwi-lime/2.jpg ). I guess you cant use multiple packs, though, unless you look at the back and pick out all strawbs. Hope you get over your blues, man! Next time you're brooding over "why are we here", just think about that glorious day each year when you walk into the drug store and see an entire aisle of fake blood and Halloween candy instead of back-to-school supplies!

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 03/29/2006 09:56 PM EST

If it could fit, that should be on a T-shirt, Eddie.

I have a whole case of Switchin' Secret, and they're all Strawberry. Not sure if there's other flavors.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 03/29/2006 09:57 PM EST

Hahahaha...classy Dick Tracy reference.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 03/29/2006 09:59 PM EST

New laptop eh? Being a geek I have to ask: What kind is it?

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 03/29/2006 10:02 PM EST

It's a Compaq Presario Notebook PC something something. I dunno. It was the smallest one at Best Buy last night. I suck.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 03/29/2006 10:17 PM EST

Yeah, can we please start the Halloween runup now? I miss facepaint on shelves. I miss bite-size candy that's not in garish spring colors. most of all, I miss the smell of latex in store aisles other than "family planning".

Chestnuts roasted by Another Matt @ 03/29/2006 10:17 PM EST

By the way, a new JOHN CARPENTER DIRECTED Halloween will be out this year or next... I, for one, am ready.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000118/

Chestnuts roasted by Another Matt @ 03/29/2006 10:23 PM EST

I have one of the Kool-Aid Twists (Soarin' Strawberry Lemonade) in my mini-pantry behind the kitchen counter. I've seen most the Invisible flavors at one time or another, including the Watermelon and the Kiwi-Lime. I'm less familiar with the Switchin' Secrets. I've only seen it once or twice, and not recently.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 03/29/2006 10:23 PM EST

In the picture of the pitcher of Kool-aid, there's an arm on the box of cereal that appears to be reaching longingly for the handle. It made the pitcher look impossibly huge at first glance.

Also, the other day I found a thing of SPARKLING Jell-o. There's nothing special in those goddamned packets, Jell-o had us all hoodwinked. I checked the ingredients compared to regular Jell-o, and it was identical except for the food coloring. So if anybody wants sparkling Jell-o, just add 1 1/4 cup cold club soda to 3/4 cup of boiling Jell-o water.

Chestnuts roasted by Biddle Bubbly @ 03/29/2006 11:16 PM EST

On the topic of recipes, I'd just like to point out that Kool-Aid without any sugar, even a substitute, really isn't all that bad if you're the type who likes sour shit. Best part is, there's no guilt. Nutritionally speaking, it's not much worse than water. Different flavors work in this manner better than others. Most of you who end up trying this will think I'm nuts, but I'm betting there's a good number of people reading who enjoy eating lemons raw.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 03/29/2006 11:27 PM EST

I love raw lemons, but I've never tried raw Kool-Aid. Thanks for the tip!

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 03/30/2006 12:05 AM EST

I've had that sparkling Jello before. It's actually pretty good.

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 03/30/2006 12:11 AM EST

I think it's the time of year for "why are we here" moments. Every so often in late winter/early spring I have one of those panic attacks when I think I'M 27 AND MY LIFE'S GOING NOWHERE AND I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED AND I HATE KIDS SO I MIGHT AS WELL DIE NOW. Except for being 27 every year, yeah.

I've never had Kool-Aid, because my parents both grew up just poor enough that candy once a week was a special treat, so they weren't big on the idea of buying their spoiled middle class kids artifically colored sugar water. We had to beg like crazy to get popsicles or Jello. But just recently at the supermarket I was overcome by the power to buy AS MANY BOXES OF JELLO AS I WANTED. I only bought three, but it did reaffirm my will to live.

Chestnuts roasted by Welsh Rabbit @ 03/30/2006 12:18 AM EST

Ohhh I always hated the color changing Kool Aid. I probably still have some of that. I could never get past the "It's supposed to taste grape, but it's Yellow!" or something. Yeah. Kinda sickening.

BTW, the "Powder" link goes back to the home page.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 03/30/2006 12:24 AM EST

I once had a dream where I was watching a transvestite porno titled "Switchin' Secret" with a dog that head Bill Cosby's head--not sure what it all means in the big picture, but I wasn't getting enough protein in my diet those days, so maybe that's to blame.

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 03/30/2006 12:29 AM EST

Matt, I just read the Kool-Aid review, and I would like to thank you for not making it sound like the best drink in the history of drinks. See, I have a horrible sense of taste and can't tell the difference between any Kool-Aid flavor, so when you write about how awesome a flavor is it causes me to be sad.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 03/30/2006 12:46 AM EST

I took off my clothes. Now what?

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

Chestnuts roasted by Erik Majorwitz @ 03/30/2006 01:42 AM EST

Anyone have any really dumb moments related to food in your lives?

When I was young I was desperate for some chocolate milk, but we had no syrup. I looked through the cabinets and found some cocao powder and thought that it was choco milk mix. Mixed it in and mmmmm, a nice bitter treat. Felt pretty dumb after that one.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 03/30/2006 01:45 AM EST

Dumb Food moment:

Eatting a Strawberry-Compote & Whipcream covered Funnel Cake THEN walking over to DUALING DRAGONS, Universal Studios, FL. and going on FIRE AND then hopping onto ICE.... you can imagine what happened next - much like the FIRE dragon I blew.

Chestnuts roasted by Xenophobe @ 03/30/2006 02:01 AM EST

Artic Green Apple Kool-aid is becoming harder to find. That's a real shame considering it's one of my favorites.

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 03/30/2006 02:55 AM EST

I've had a number of "dumb food moments," mostly involving eating contests...

65 wings in a half hour. I literally ate until my stomach was full. The stuff was getting caught in my esophagus and I ended up puking into a trash can. I was up all night throwing up and just feeling bloated and ridiculous. (I was campus champion until a year later when some schmo got 66. At that point, I was a dieting vegetarian, so I cared very little).

Also, I ate an entire box of the Little Debbie oatmeal cream pies (the giant-sized ones) on a bet. Not too hard, but once again there is food-challenge bloating.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 03/30/2006 07:53 AM EST

break out the clean tablecloth for the hottest show on Earth. So take off all your clothes. I just spit coffee, thanks
I once ate half a bag of shredded coconut, I was about 10. Now the stuff makes me gag.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 03/30/2006 08:09 AM EST

I tried to google an explanation behind the wondrous color-changing properties of some Kool Aid, but all I came up with was a bunch of hair dyeing sites, a bunch of knitting sites, and more sites dealing with the effects of food dyes on poop color than I'm really comfortable with. You have failed me, internet.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 03/30/2006 08:32 AM EST

Dumb food moments...
Well, once, a few years ago when I was much younger, probably 12 or so, I went with my parents to one of those all you can eat buffets. I wasn't really interested in all the random junk they had there - the nasty slices of pizza or the crab legs. I went for the lo mein and the chicken nuggets and french fries.

Now, being that this was an all you can eat buffet, my parents kept telling me "Go and get another plate! You have to eat!" So I kept finishing, and going back for more. I was like a little twelve year old Takeru Kobayashi, devouring plate after plate of lo mein and junk food while my parents tried to get their money's worth. We also kept getting free water refills, so I must have gone through about 3 or 4 glasses of water until.

Urp! I got up and felt it all sloshing around in my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and threw up.

Chestnuts roasted by TPStag @ 03/30/2006 09:06 AM EST

Dumb food moment? The first one that comes to mind is one that I imagine most anyone who was ever a kid can claim. You want cereal but have no milk? No worries. I'm sure water will make a good substitiute. :-(

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 03/30/2006 09:13 AM EST

Hey, did I catch a New Order reference with the "everything goes green" line?

Chestnuts roasted by Lou @ 03/30/2006 09:38 AM EST

I had a not so much dumb as disgusting food moment last night. I ate a Happy Meal and since I'm getting over what I'm pretty sure can only be labeled as near death, I started coughing and couldn't stop and then I puked up my Happy Meal in front of the neighbor. :- It wasn't like gross biley puke though, it was just like chewed up Happy Meal. Both disgusting and embarassing and I think I might have broken another rib from the coughing. Yea... I found out the hard way that you CAN break ribs from coughing.

Chestnuts roasted by Rebecca @ 03/30/2006 09:49 AM EST

Dumb food moment for me?

Making it with the wife of the Jolly Green Giant. He wasn't so Jlolly after that, and explains why Sprout hung out with all of those freaky veggies in that kids book Matt reviewed not too long ago.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 03/30/2006 09:51 AM EST

Lori-That brings back memories. When you're a kid and there is no milk, water surely does make a good substitute. I remember once my brother and I decided to get brave and put Coca-Cola in Cocoa Puffs. I don't remember if it was good or not, just that my mother damn near had a stroke when she saw what we had done. Thinking back, I am not sure why she was so upset. Obviously, she's the one that bought more coke than milk, right?

Chestnuts roasted by earthwormgoddess @ 03/30/2006 09:55 AM EST

Does a dumb food moment count if you weren't the one actually ingesting the food? When I was a wee lass, I would make "creations" for my dog (mostly involving flour to make a dough, then adding food coloring and other weird spices). I'm sure it tasted awful, but my dog loved me, so he would eat every bite.

One day, we were out of flour. "No problem," I thought. "SALT is the same as flour, right?" Oh, dear. Turns out no, no, it is not. My dog gobbled it up, but was sick for hours and hours afterward. I felt so bad! I guess I'm lucky the poor thing didn't die of dehydration or sodium poisoning or...whatever you could die from because you ate too much salt!

Chestnuts roasted by purplegirl247 @ 03/30/2006 10:04 AM EST

The dumb food moment that always stands out for me also involves Fred Savage. Sorta.

Upon convincing my parents that I would surely die without going to see "The Wizard," we arrived and I headed for the snack-bar, where I bought the largest box of Good n' Plenty's they had. I used to love the things dearly. Emphasis on "used to."

The movie began and it was everything I could hope for. The comedy, the drama, the passion. Throughout the duration I munched happily on my candy, in orgasmic anticipation for the SMB3 reveal - but by the time it came, a rumbling in my stomach began indicating something was awry. No matter, I'm seeing SMB3 and the kids at school aren't. Nyah.

So the movie ends, we get up to leave, and almost simultaneously with standing up, a Technicolour hue of purple-and-white Good n Plenty vomit spews forth all over the theatre aisle, where many people surely had to walk around it, and while there was certainly plenty of it, it was not good.

I think I survived the car ride home, but my first stop once arriving back was the bathroom where the process repeated. To this day, I can't even smell GnP's without becoming nauseous.

This is all Kevin Arnold's fault.

Chestnuts roasted by lugnut @ 03/30/2006 10:11 AM EST

My dumbest food moment: The Week Of Getting Outwitted By Drinks Bottles. It's night time, I'm thirsty, I unscrew the cap of a squash bottle and rest in on top. Then I spend about half an hour waiting for the water to run nice 'n' cold, before remembering that I need to shake that bad boy well before use. Now when I shake, I SHAKE. And when I soak myself in undiluted squash like an idiot, I SOAK MYSELF IN UNDILUTED SQUASH LIKE AN IDIOT. I stood there, dripping intensely flavoured orange drink from my hair, vowing never, ever to be so stupid again.

So I did the exact same thing the following night. How I laughed.

Chestnuts roasted by Candle Snuff Fungus @ 03/30/2006 10:29 AM EST

No cream/milk with the coffee? My, aren't We the manly man! =^D

Chestnuts roasted by heyursnisstupid @ 03/30/2006 10:30 AM EST

The coffee portrait makes me happy. I'm about 20 minutes away from my first cup yet so it also makes me wistful though.
I spent yesterday reading a blog by a former seminary student turned waiter (sue me, the update hadn't been posted yet)...Talk about existential crisis. Nothing can give you the "why are we here's" like working with the public.
Yay new laptop! Five pounds isn't so bad. Hope it makes life easier.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 03/30/2006 10:46 AM EST

Hey, Another Matt. I don't think John Carpenter is directing Halloween: Retribution. According to the imdb link he's only getting credit for the theme song. Have you heard anything else otherwise?

Chris

Chestnuts roasted by Chris Martin @ 03/30/2006 10:56 AM EST

They should make a sequel to Halloween III. You can't ever have enough snakes and bugs and shit crawling out of childrens' eye-sockets.

Chestnuts roasted by lugnut @ 03/30/2006 11:04 AM EST

When I was a wee-un, we used to get those huge metal cans of V-8. (I did so love that V-8.) One day when my parents were out I drank an entire can in about 10-15 minutes. My sister was mortified. She told my parents the minute they walked in the door and I got in trouble. Then I think I got sick.

And I'd do it again, too...

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 03/30/2006 11:18 AM EST

Another one of my moments when I was young was when, over the course of one day, I supposedly ate a whole pound of turkey lunchmeat. I still deny this, but my dad swears by it.

My more recent moments I would say all include chocolate. Chocolate's my fucking krypotnite.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy Day @ 03/30/2006 11:37 AM EST

My Mom worked on Saturdays, and my Dad would sleep untill about 11:30... Me? I was up... ass crack of dawn to watch as many Saturday Morning Cartoons as possible. It was during this time that I had the house, and kitchen all to myself. I usually ate cherios with a small mountain of sugar on top, but sometimes opted for more exotic fare... sometimes soup, sometimes chips and salsa, and one morning, I ate a bowl of melted butter.

Later that day I think I called information trying to get David Hasselhoff's phone number... but I didn't know how to spell his last name... not even sure I know how to spell it now... which is probably for the best. That butter sure was good.

By the way Matt, I am totally envious of that mug... that mushroom scepter he is holding is amazing.

Chestnuts roasted by Michael @ 03/30/2006 12:34 PM EST

When I was a little kid, probably 5 or 6, I wanted a sandwich. I just couldn't decide... ham? or peanut buttter?

Why not both?

I took one bite and knew why not.

Chestnuts roasted by Randomness @ 03/30/2006 01:05 PM EST

I ate a whole jar of Black Olives on a whim when my friends were talking about stuff they wish restaurants wouldnt put on a salad. I said I like that stuff, especially the black Olives. That day I made 40 bucks for downing a jar of the Blackies, and drinking the olive water.

Chestnuts roasted by Xenophobe @ 03/30/2006 02:09 PM EST

"Hey, Kool-Aid!"
*boom*
"Oh, Yeah!"
"Dude, you are so fixing that wall."

Once I ordered a joke item out of a menu at a local burger joint in San Fran. Fortunately, I wasn't the only one who made that mistake. Damn you, Hippo Hamburger! Damn you and your toilets painted up to look like hippos! (even the underside of the lid and the inside of the bowl. I can rightfully say I peed in the mouth of a hippo.)

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/30/2006 02:30 PM EST

You would think reading the ingredients on a potted meat can would scare me...try again-you betta believe I’m dancing in the kitchen, poppin open a can to cure the drunknite munchies. It’s even better if ya let it sit on the counter overnight and attempt to spread it on bread the next day-so worth it..potted meat, u so dam sweet, never skip a beat and taste a tad like feet….mmm

Chestnuts roasted by Q @ 03/30/2006 02:34 PM EST

Lori, as soon as I started reading about stupid food moments that popped into my head. I remember being too small to pour the giant, full gallon of milk, and no one was awake, so I used water instead of milk. God, cherrios with water is awful.

Chestnuts roasted by Y2JB78 @ 03/30/2006 03:08 PM EST

Powder link broken.
I Couldn't see Orange Powder.
I cried, so fix it.
...
That wasn't a haiku so don't say it was.

Chestnuts roasted by Rutir @ 03/30/2006 04:18 PM EST

Hey Matt, I have to agree. That Mushroom Scepter he is holding is amazing. Not as amazing as my own personal Mushroom Scepter, and probably not as engorged, but still amazing.

Separately, are there any Kool-Aid flavors that you've always wanted to try, but you never have? Ya know, like Sharkelberry Fin?! Which I know you have, but that was an example.

Chestnuts roasted by Dixon Deeper @ 03/30/2006 04:26 PM EST

Hey Matt, Sorry for the lack of context. The Mushroom Scepter is the one that is on the mug in the above picture.

My own Mushroom Scepter... well, let's just say that your cup would runneth over.

Chestnuts roasted by Dixon Deeper @ 03/30/2006 04:29 PM EST

I'm very happy right now. Just got 3 unopened packets of Purplesaurus Rex in the mail today. At least one will be framed and immediately hung up on a wall. Time to make a good rex recipie using grape and lemonade. Or should I have some Sharkleberry Fin. Haven't had that one in a while but I need to conserve the packets (I only have 18 left and they aren't easy to find!) Matt, do you sort your kool-aid out like I do? Like one section will be Rare/Discontinued section, Twists section, and Regular Section. Or do you smash 'em into one big ol' pile and smell the fruity goodness?

Chestnuts roasted by Ghoul-Aid Man @ 03/30/2006 04:34 PM EST

I got a good stupid food moment! I came home to eat lunch and let my keys end up inaccessible and now have to wait for the locksmith. So, on the bright side, I have the afternoon off, but on the downside, my boss hates me. *Charlie Brown groan of frustration* At least the coffee was good this morning.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 03/30/2006 04:39 PM EST

Can I make a formal request to stop with all the talk about "Mushroom Scepters?" It sounds suspiciously like we're drifting into innuendo territory, and presently that makes me uncomfortable.

(I'm no prude, and I've certainly made my fair share of off-color allusions, but it just doesn't feel right here and now.)

...or maybe I just have a dirty mind.

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 03/30/2006 04:54 PM EST

Finally, I have for you, the long-awated PURPLESAURUS REX RECIPE! It tastes just like the actual thing and I compared it with my pitcher of real purplesaurus rex and there were almost no differences. Both colors were EXACTLY the same. The recipie:
1/2 tsp of Grape Kool-aid
1/2 tsp of Lemonade Kool-aid
1 cup of sugar
Mix/Stir/Shake
Enjoy one refreshing glass o' Purplesaurus Rex! I strongly advise to accurately measure the teaspoons and cups to get the most accurate taste. Don't gulp the whole 2 quarts in one serving. It's tempting but don't.

Chestnuts roasted by Ghoul-aid Man @ 03/30/2006 05:13 PM EST

I tried the whole water and cereal bit. I believe it was with Frosted Flakes. Of the more dumb things in my youth, I had this deal where nearly every night before bed I made myself, I shit you not, a KETCHUP sandwich and had it with a glass of Nestle's Quik back when it was known as such. I distinctly remember it was white bread and Heinz ketchup. I would dip the damn thing IN the chocolate milk and eat it. Then drank the rest of the milk. I don't have the balls to do that nowadays, but I've been tempted for old time's sake. I'd probably only do it on a dare, though.

And speaking of ketchup, I hated Hunt's way back when...didn't taste like ketchup at all.

On another side note, it's pretty amusing to see what effect psycho-associations have with what we can or can't eat nowadays because of unpleasantness. I actually have never seen The Wizard, either. It's on my list of many - release it on DVD, damn you!

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 03/30/2006 05:20 PM EST

Also, I used to love ketchup as a kid, then I grew to like mustard when older. I like mustard better on stuff now than ketchup. Total 360o moment in my life.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 03/30/2006 05:25 PM EST

My stupid food moment actually ended with my clinical death. You know how you used to suck the Jello off the spoon with gusto and zeal? Well, apparently I had just a touch too much zeal when I was two, and I ended up coating my lungs with Jello. So they rush me to the hospital, I'm Code Blue, they shock me with the paddles, good times. I had to spend two weeks at the hospital in a hyper-oxygenated clear plastic tent while my lungs healed. Like ET. But hey, at least I got a Donald Duck mug and a pez dispenser shaped like a truck.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 03/30/2006 06:07 PM EST

Jedoc
That was the most amazing story ever. Or an early April Fools joke. I love finger Jell-O, like the kind you'd get at lunch in school. Not as suckable as the regular.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 03/30/2006 06:40 PM EST

I was reminded by this article of middle school when it was cool to eat Kool-Aid powder in the raw. You had to mix it with sugar and keep a little baggy of it on you at all times like a young crack addict.

It was tasty, but since we usually ate it secretly in class by dipping our fingers in the bag you'd end up with the tips of your fingers stained.

For some reason I particularly remember doing this while watching an anti-drug video where a bad actor was recreating an acid trip gone wrong. . . and laughing all the way through it. Then again how seriously can you take someone dressed in a tuxedo screaming "The walls are melting!" Bad acting made me smile even at that tender age.

I laughed all the way through the video about puberty too, and got yelled at for it by the health teacher.

Chestnuts roasted by vermaxen @ 03/30/2006 07:18 PM EST

I'm so sad that I just got the chance to read the new Kool-Aid article now. Things on my end have just been complete and utter shit lately. *sigh*

Though I must say, I do oddly enough have a habit of reading X-E without my clothes on. I've somehow made a morning ritual of waking up, taking a shower, and then sitting in front of my computer in my towel and seeing what was posted on the blog while I was sleeping.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 03/30/2006 09:12 PM EST

I actually have never seen The Wizard, either. It's on my list of many - release it on DVD, damn you!

Isn't that a damn shame? Somehow we can get a "Collector's Edition" DVD of Street Fighter: The Movie, but Universal can't slap together a Wizard disc for us.

And so help me god, if they ever do, I *demand* a Fred Savage commentary track. "This is the part where I touched her breast."

Chestnuts roasted by lugnut @ 03/30/2006 10:03 PM EST

Come to think of it, it wasn't Savage's character who "touched her breast," was it?

Oh well, I'm sure he did it off-camera. That's how Savage rolls.

Chestnuts roasted by lugnut @ 03/30/2006 10:10 PM EST

Nobody gets any breast in that movie. She screams it as a distraction to keep the bad men away.

The most action Savage gets in that movie is a kiss on the cheek...and WARP WHISTLE ACTION, via his brother Jimmy!

(Come on! There is no way anybody could have solved the "drop through the white block" thing on their first run through the first level of SMB3!)

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 03/30/2006 10:33 PM EST

Yeah, there was definitely no instances of breast-getting in The Wizard. The kiss was sweet, but I always got so pissed off when she kissed Jimmy, too. When she kissed Savage, it was romance. When she kissed Jimmy, it was platonic "glad to be yer friend" bullshit, which worked retroactively and turned Savage's kiss into NADAFINGA.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 03/30/2006 10:46 PM EST

Yeah well someone needs to get on that Wizard breast-touching thing poste-haste. They just need to get together the crew from Edward Penishands and change costumes or something.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 03/30/2006 11:09 PM EST

I'd call those some "pour" quality animated .gifs of kool-aid. I kill me

Chestnuts roasted by Danno @ 03/31/2006 03:07 AM EST

You guys know that that chick from The Wizard is in a band along with Pinsky from Salute your Shorts? They kinda suck but its just so cool that they're made up of two people from our nostalgia.

Chestnuts roasted by Tommy @ 03/31/2006 10:32 AM EST

Hey Rhino... Sorry for pointing out the "mushroom scepter" thing... I meant nothing dirty... Just thought it was funny.

Chestnuts roasted by Michael @ 03/31/2006 12:45 PM EST

As a person who loves the Wizard so much that I showed it to my students at high school so THEY could know the magic, too...yeah RELEASE IT ON DVD DAMMIT!

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 03/31/2006 05:34 PM EST

Is that a box of WWF cereal in the background? Never heard of the stuff before but thats what I could make out from the text. I expect a lengthy review of said cereal in the future if it indeed exists.

Chestnuts roasted by Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp @ 03/31/2006 09:09 PM EST

And a classic Christmas Story reference from Matt in the comments!

Chestnuts roasted by Dane @ 04/05/2006 09:14 AM EST

My stupid food moment was when I was about 11. My friends and I were taking turns mixing whatever we found in the fridge into the most vile drinks we could imagine. Whoever wasn't mixing had to drink. I think we all wound up throwing up before that game was over.

Vermaxen, I'm glad I wasn't the only kid in the world that did the powdered Kool-Aid thing. My parents got totally pissed at me for doing it, though. They said it made me look dirty and low-class. Sadly, they stopped buying me Kool-Aid, and I missed out on all the flavors after Berry Blue. I really need to look up some recipies to re-create those old flavors! Suggestions of where to look, anyone?

Chestnuts roasted by Kieran Alexis @ 04/09/2006 02:11 AM EST