02/12/2006 Entry: "TMNT: Snacks From The Sewer! (And snow.)"

New Article Alert! I've been on a Ninja Turtles kick ever since finding that weird "Movie Action" figure/DVD set as seen in a previous entry, so it was time to go find my empty bag of TMNT Crunchabungas and a big pile of other junk for a huge tribute to Ninja Turtles food products, covering everything from gum-eyed popsicles to Royal Ooze gelatin. The incredible thing is that I still have enough stuff leftover to do a Part 2, but in the interest of variety, that won't happen until 2015. And I just might be dead by then. Article includes a short recipe section detailing how you can make and drink your own retromutagen. It's what you've all been waiting for.

We had one hell of a snowstorm last night, and it looks like it's still coming down a bit. Over a foot here and closer to sixteen inches in many places nearby. Gonna be fun commuting in tomorrow. On the upside, two kids knocked on the door offering to dig my car out for 20 bucks, and though that's on the high side of snow shoveling rates, I just couldn't stomach the idea that Sunday night would be spent cursing God for giving clouds a mean streak. Paid 'em, and though they of course left just enough to make me still have to go out there and finish up at some point today, at least I won't feel like the Chinese inmate those filthy Klingons made an example of in Star Trek VI.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/12/2006 05:44 PM EST

Thanks Matt. You guys ever notice the little white dots all over the Movie Star Foot Soldier? I don't know why but those dots have always bothered me.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/12/2006 05:51 PM EST

Matt- Both links under the Delicious Ninja Turtles Cookies don't work.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/12/2006 06:35 PM EST

I dug out my own car.

On the upside, the mall I work in was closed. Work snow day woo!

Chestnuts roasted by Denise @ 02/12/2006 06:47 PM EST

Thanks Matt. I didn't know how badly I needed to see those fruit snack packages again until I scrolled down to them...

Chestnuts roasted by Mattman @ 02/12/2006 07:00 PM EST

We didn't have snow until sometime in the middle of the night here. I live @ the Jersey shore, and we had rain long into the middle of the night--I woke up at six am to check the weather, and lo and behold, SNOW (don't worry, I went back to bed right away). I'm not a fan of snow. I'd say we had around 6-9 inches--my boyfriend lives in West Jersey, out near Philly, and his dad said this morning that they had 9 inches--and counting.

Needless to say, it was bad, but it cleaned up nicely--my brother, dad, and boyfriend shoveled up today, and my brother did somersaults over the snow covered plants that line out driveway. My boyfriend took pictures. Our driveway is nice and clean, though slightly wet, and my street (a dead-end sideroad) is plowed.

How did you guys do, in terms of snow.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 02/12/2006 07:02 PM EST

I am so bummed--no SNL this weekend. I hate the winter Olympics! Sure, its ok during the summer, but no SNL makes me extremely depressed. Oh well. Seeing my boyfriend and SNL are the highlights of my week.

I was forced to watch CBS-3 Eyewitness News in lieu of SNL (the news was on later b/c of a movie). Nothing beats Weekend Update.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 02/12/2006 07:08 PM EST

Stellar article as always! I was never too found of the the Farley fruit snacks, no matter what shape they took. Since you mentioned the possibility of a second article, I can't help but wonder if you had a hand in the sudden disappearance of a good 20 food products that I know were listed on a certain TMNT Store no 24 hours ago.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/12/2006 07:08 PM EST

Darth Poop: In Turtles in Time, you had to fight Tokka and Metalhead, both of whom have shells. That's about all I can recall.

I wonder if I still have my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles album laying around. I have a MIGHTY NEED to listen to "Pizza Power." And "No Treaty After the War," which always choked me up for reasons I could not quite define, so I couldn't listen to it when my friends were around. That was the first album I ever purchased.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 02/12/2006 07:17 PM EST

I just was looking at the article again, and I saw the pic of those little cookies. Oh my god, I used to LOVE those cookies!! My mom got them in a large plastic ninja turtle shaped container that doubled as a bank once the cookies were done. My mom just refilled the container every time is was empty. Yeah, now that's what it is like to be a kid.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 02/12/2006 07:19 PM EST

Oh and LOL at the new main site title.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/12/2006 07:26 PM EST

I do always enjoy these green-themed walks down memory lane.

Again, Matt, you have succeeded in reminding me of something I didn't even know I missed--the Crunchabungas, a word which I resolve to use in conversation from now on whenever possible. Like Cheetos Paws, I now have a hopeless desire to taste a cheesy snack food from times past. Unlike Paws, there is no taste equivalent to suffice.

Also, the Turtles macaroni & cheese was a fave, and while I remembered that, I forgot about the letter system. I didn't think about it too much at the time, but you're right, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

And though I remember your earlier article, I STILL crave Turtles Pies (I actually did like the taste). With my greater capacity for food at this age, I bet I could eat 10 in one day. I'd throw up, but I could still force them down.

Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 02/12/2006 07:30 PM EST

TMNT Cookies!!! Wow, I forgot those even existed. My best friend and I devored those things back in the day.

Chestnuts roasted by Carri @ 02/12/2006 07:33 PM EST

Out of curiosity, about how much is "a bunch" of cornstartch?

Chestnuts roasted by JDavis @ 02/12/2006 07:35 PM EST

I think that somebody is planning to make some ooze.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/12/2006 07:48 PM EST

We got 12 inches here, and for the first time since I moved two weeks ago, I was actually happy the Acme's gotten my transfer so screwed up. I wouldn't have been able to ride to work today anyway. I don't think it rained at all. It started flurrying yesterday afternoon around quarter of 2. The flurries stopped...but then, sometime between 2 and 4 (I was in a mall at that point, so I don't know when), it started snowing big, fat flakes...and sticking to the ground, though not the streets. It didn't stick to the streets until late last night.

Like Matt, I was kind of old for TMNT by the time they debuted in the late 80s. I loved the cartoons and went to see the first movie three times in the theater (the first movie I ever saw in the theater more than once) but never had any of the toys. Most of the food either never made it to South Jersey or it just wasn't something my mom would buy. I do remember having the fruit snacks a lot (I saw boxes of the TMNT Farley's fruit snacks in disreputable dollar stores well into the 90s), and I have vague memories of the cookies and the pies. We may have had the cereal, too, though I don't remember eating any myself unless I felt like picking out the marshmallows. I HATE cereal with marshmallows.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 02/12/2006 09:14 PM EST

1) Loved the article - I love how your writing can be nostalgic and funny while bringing up some really intersting ideas about why we all get nostalgic about something as silly as TMNT.
2) Wait... Splinter was a human at first and turned into a rat after the ooze hit? I'm so ashamed - maybe I'm getting rusty on my Turtles lore.
3) I've said it before, and I'll say it again - that TMNT cereal was awesome. You're right - you wouldn't think that Chex and marshmellows would go well together, but as a wise philosopher once said, "opposites attract".
D) Anyone listen to this week's Ricky Gervais podcast yet? Comedy gold.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 02/12/2006 09:44 PM EST

(By the way, now that the pointsettias have been replaced by little crustaceans, maybe you should replace "Chestnuts roasted by" with "[insert name here] was a rock lobster!".

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 02/12/2006 10:00 PM EST

I like TMNT excessively. I think that those it was motive force of the present culture which we possess. But as for me you did not understand concept of turtle. I that am between turtle personal, it presumes that that is magnitude

Chestnuts roasted by YanChau @ 02/12/2006 10:15 PM EST

I absolutely remember enjoying Crunchabungas, unlike the pies which are completely disgusting.
Gozer: I just used "grippage" in a sentence, LOL. I just got my first iPod and have been listening to The Ricky Gervais Show constantly. Maybe I inquire where you downloaded them from, because I've been having trouble finding all the eps? I keep going back and forth between whether Pilkington is just a comedy improv genius or really thinks that way.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/12/2006 10:16 PM EST

Yeah, Splinter was originally human in the cartoon version, but the movie version he was originally a normal rat. IIRC, Yoshi (Splinter) was living in the sewer when he came in contact with the mutagen and it turned him into the last animal he touched, which was a rat.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/12/2006 10:18 PM EST

When I was younger (about 12) I worked in a hot dog stand in front of my family's grocery store. Every year they would have a kid's festival and bring whatever big attraction there was for the year to greet the kids.

I remember when they brought a Ninja Turtle (I believe Raphael) the line was literally over an hour long. He signed the kid's whatever and gave em a hug and they went on their way. When he went inside for a break I saw him take of his head, and he was just about my age. I couldn't believe it. Apparently those costumes don't really fit taller adults

So, after that, my mom elected me and my sister to wear the costumes so that the cost would be down. It only really worked for promotional caracters. So anyways, I was people like Chester Cheetah and the Honey Nut Bee. Hugging little kids.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 02/12/2006 10:19 PM EST

I was a five year old girl when TNMT was the big thing,and I was in love (Leonardo was the first of many anthropomorphized animal crushes I had as a preadolescent). I had a turtles birthday, I was a turtle for Halloween, the whole deal. I had Turtle episodes on tape (the ones that Burger King was offering), and all for turtles as action figures, and a Leonardo plushie I slept with every night. Little by little this stuff was given away; I wish I still had it- especially the Ninja Turtles shaped cake pan.

Chestnuts roasted by LittleSable @ 02/12/2006 10:24 PM EST

I've said it once, and I'll say it again:

I Fucking loved the Turtle Pies. I can still taste them on my tongue, and I believe I climaxed when I came across that point in the article. It was wonderful.

Snow-wise, I got....lots. Well more than 6 inches, I know that. I'd be bummed that my college isn't closed, but I had a 3 day weekend to begin with

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 02/12/2006 10:32 PM EST

squee4242: Unfortunately, I've only gotten my hands on Episodes 7-11 which are readily available on iTunes. I can't find any previous episodes anywhere.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 02/12/2006 11:03 PM EST

I remember the cereal and crackers (which I didn't really like, but ate anyway because it was TMNT-related), but those fruit snacks were the biggest part of my life. I remember how nasty the green ones were.

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 02/13/2006 12:05 AM EST

Yup same problem here Gozer! It's all definitely comedy gold. I'm sorry it's almost over, but it means more Extras to come so that's cool.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/13/2006 12:13 AM EST

I definately remember the cereal, cookies, pudding pies and fruit snacks. But not the pizza, Ooze, or Crunchabungas.

I loved watching the original cartoon as a kid. I'm also one of the few that didn't mind the live action Staurday show with Venus, the female turtle.

Action figure-wise though, I think the family collection tended more towards their enemies and friends than the turtles themselves. I even had a transforming Splinter that turned into their van and the pizza shooter.

I liked the second film the best. I barely remember the first one and despised the third.

PLEASE don't wait until 2015 to do another turtle food article.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 02/13/2006 12:44 AM EST

Speakng of the pudding pies, I just reread the pudding pie article. Did Hostess possibly put out two different versions of the same pie? I definately remember there being green vanilla pudding inside one with a possible normal-looking crust. Did they do the inverse to (green crust, regular vanilla pudding also?)

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 02/13/2006 12:50 AM EST

I remember when the Turtles cereal had the promotion where a box of the cereal came with a free Turtle shaped bowl. I wanted one of those friggin' bowls so much, but I couldn't convince my parents to buy the cereal for me. For years, I would get pissed whenever I saw one of those bowls at someone's house.

Chestnuts roasted by Quammy @ 02/13/2006 01:00 AM EST

*We interupt this TMNT Blog with this special Bulletin!*

After years of not being in existence...MAD Balls are returning to the world!

Thanks to those wacky inmates over at Art Asylum, MAD Balls is making a come back. Same great MAD-ness, but now with better sculpting!

Check out some pictures over at Figures.com:

http://photos.figures.com/photo/1/showgallery.php?cat=3528

MAD Balls: Gross! Ghastly! Freaky fun for everyone!

*We now return you to your TMNT Blog, already in progress.*

Chestnuts roasted by Boglin @ 02/13/2006 01:20 AM EST

Um, no Tropical Oils? Crazy cereal if you ask me. What kind of sick bastards worked at Ralston?

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

Chestnuts roasted by Erik Majorwitz @ 02/13/2006 01:52 AM EST

I almost got teary eyed when you mentioned spending the weekend eating crunchabungas and watching TGIF. I've REALLY been missing early 90s weekends lately.

Anyway, I have to say I enjoyed the taste of crunchabungas and really wish there was something like it out now.

Also, does anyone remember the juice-boxes that had cool box-art based on the archie version?

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 02/13/2006 03:01 AM EST

I wonder why they never made any food items honoring villian character Rat King?

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 02/13/2006 03:19 AM EST

Dang. "Ninja Turtle Pizza." There's your killer license right there. It's THEIR pizza. What kid of my generation wouldn't have fallen for that? I wish a major pizza joint would have gotten those rights, though, instead of some cheap microwave sludge no Turtle would go near. "Bogus, dude!"

Here's a heads-up: if you haven't been to my site recently, I'm currently running something people have been requesting for a while: the original U.S. Acres comic strip by Jim Davis that led to the segments on Garfield and Friends. Yes, Orson's farm was a strip first.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 02/13/2006 03:34 AM EST

That's cool for the person that posted on SNT about finding those 'ooze' boxes. I'll have to try to make some with 'evil laugh' cornstarch!!! I missed most of the cool TMNT stuff cause I am a girl and my family wasn't convinced that I needed to play with the figures and be obsessed with it. I had a couple of the figures even though I wanted all four, and I had the mike's beach jeep that had a surfboard on the back and a soda sixpack gun and a pizza related weapon of some sort I believe. I wanted to keep it together so bad because the pieces looked so looseable. I am kund of curious about the chex, marshmellow combo, if the chex pieces were frosted it would be a winner garunteed. I was just (and still am but not as much) obsessed with simpsons merchandise. Whenever I saw an action figure, or a comic, or a candy with the simpsons on it I threw a tantrum until I got it. It was awesome indeed.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 02/13/2006 03:38 AM EST

Id kill to get my hands on some TMNT juicebox again.. that stuff was my reason for existance

Chestnuts roasted by AJ @ 02/13/2006 04:07 AM EST

Quammy: I had one of those bowls. Now, I'm not trying to say that makes me a better person that you. But I think we all know it goes without saying, am I right?

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 02/13/2006 08:04 AM EST

We used to get Turtles Mutagen bars up here in Canada. They were basically shaped like a ruler, but made out of delicious green taffy. Man, I could go for one of those right now.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt St. Cool @ 02/13/2006 08:49 AM EST

JLAJRC:

Yes! I'm so glad somebody else remembers that! I was slightly confused by the Pudding Pie article the first time I saw it, because my mind-brain clearly remembered green pudding in a white crust. You are not alone.

I loved those little buggers, and as Invader Norbert says, something makes me able to taste that bad boy as I speak. Which is weird, because I mustn't have had a pudding pie since I was eight. Somehow, though, I'm able to retain that sensation (along with Kind Cuisine brownies hot out of the microwave).

I didn't do Crunchabungas when I watched TGIF--I remember Pop Qwiz corn and mini-pizzas made on English muffins...oh the joy.

Anyway, thanks for the article, Matt. This is already definitely one of my favorites on the site, because I remember eating each and every one of these things (and your insight into WHY we're nostalgic is great).

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 02/13/2006 09:01 AM EST

Heh, I've sometimes thought that if I could time-travel to, say, 1990, I would definitely go to a supermarket first, just to check out all the old junk food I remember and that my parents would never dream of buying. That way you could actually eat those Ninja Turtle Pudding Pies and not get sick.

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew @ 02/13/2006 09:12 AM EST

Awesome article, Matt! Really haven't much else to say at the moment... it's Monday morning and I kept myself up too late reading the new Stephen King novel last night.

Chestnuts roasted by ZiZak @ 02/13/2006 09:17 AM EST

I'm 10 mins outside of philly, we got about 12-16 inches of snow. And I dug my car out with nothing but 6 hands, me, my girlfriend, and my brother. I didn't have a shovel. Just got here to work at 9ish we had a 2 hour delay. I'm pissed that we had to come in at all because the roads are still somewhat crappy and our parking lot is like a sheet of ice.

TURTLE POWER!

Chestnuts roasted by Geoffinsanity @ 02/13/2006 10:02 AM EST

We got 16 inches or so of snow and no one plowed my parking lot til 3pm so I couldnt even come home. Ugh.

Ninja turtles cereal was teh awesome. I remember eating it when I wouldnt touch a million other kid like cereals. I probably ate ten boxes or more of the stuff. It was sooo good. I also remember the vehicle that shot the plastic pizzas. That was soooo cool at the time. I had so many turtle toys it wasnt even funny. I kept all the figures in this giant cardboard box that was decorated like the Turtle van (which I got for a BDay one year). One of my fav figures was the triceratops guy, I dont remember his name, but I do remember he was blue and yellow I think. I loved him to death. Oh well. Turtlemania swept the grade schools like a fever... what can I say?

Chestnuts roasted by Kittycatgirl @ 02/13/2006 10:25 AM EST

Matt -

You're my hero on so many levels. Turtles owned my childhood too. I have a blanket that my grandma made of out the kick-ass 1987 TMNT material.

Here it is.

Anyway my mom amazed me one day when she packed my lunch for work in a brown paper sack with Raphael on it. I was taken aback and asked her where it came from and she had a whole fricking bag of them in the house that had never been opened. I felt so cool going to the factory with a TMNT bag that day haha.

Did anyone else have the ridiculously bad TMNT sweaters that looked like they were made by members of a blind sweatshop?

Chestnuts roasted by TommyDay @ 02/13/2006 11:34 AM EST

My Ma has a whole collection of turtle figures and jewelry. And she has a few TMNT items as well. One time here at work, a customer asked if she was from the Delaware tribe, since turtles figure so much in their symbolism. "No," she said, "I'm a turtle eating Kiowa!" If it wasn't winter (supposedly), I would go out and provoke a snapping turtle.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/13/2006 12:18 PM EST

Mars: Pizza Hut did do a Turtles promotion, but it was in the form of sponsoring their live action concerts. They even did a video that I think Matt reviewed years ago.

MrTox: No problem. Could it had been a regional thing though ala those Jones Sodas last year? I live in the midwest so I definately remember the green pudding version, but not the other way I mentioned? They were gross anyway since I'm not a pudding man at all.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 02/13/2006 12:33 PM EST

I only remember the green-pudding-normal-shell Turtle Pies. I'm in the northeast, which is the same whereabouts of Matt and many of the other Turtle-Pie aficianados, so I don't know if it was regional. I'm not sure which I would have liked more...the ooze inside as green, or the actual turtle half-shell shaped crust being green...Unfortunately, I guess I'll never know.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 02/13/2006 01:12 PM EST

There was an episode of TMNT where Mikey put whipped cream on his pizza. I got really pumped and tried it out. I put cool whip on a cheese Gatti's pizza and it was REALLY frigg'n good. It tastes like some kind of weird desert. It's got all the oily-ness of pizza mixed with the sugary whipped cream. I'd definitely recommend the more daring of you to give it a shot!

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 02/13/2006 01:13 PM EST

I became a brown belt in Hapkido while I was teaching in Korea last year... My main reason for doing so? To pretend I was a Ninja Turtle!

I LOVED those Ninja Turtle Popsicles, although I only ever had two in my life...bought off the back of a REAL ice cream truck one magical weekend at my cousin's house in a different province. A province that had Ninja Turtle popsicles AND ice cream trucks!

I can't believe it's been two years since that XE article when Matt found that popsicle...

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 02/13/2006 01:13 PM EST

In the very first episode (which I've reviewed), three of the Turtles order whipped cream pizzas -- and Eddie is right, they looked GOOD.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 02/13/2006 01:17 PM EST

Are you willing to fight for the 80's nostalgia you believe in?
To do what's right for the toys you still have?
That's X-E Power!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/13/2006 01:39 PM EST

Man, I never got to have any cool TMNT stuff even though I clearly remember being totally obsessed with the show at about age five or six. See, my mom was a girly-girl as a child, and naturally assumed I was too. So I could have any Barbie or baby doll I wanted, and I had tons. But when I wanted Legos, or a race car set, or Ninja Turtles, there was always some excuse why I couldn't have it, because they were not "girl" things. (Yes, even Legos! I thought Legos were pretty gender-neutral, but my mom didn't seem to think so.) The only exception was Nintendo, which actually my dad got me into and then I was so obsessed my mom COULD NOT say no. But apparently this gender bias my mom had also branched out into snack foods, because I don't remember any TMNT junk food. Then again, the only fun food I remember from when I was that young was cereal, and we stuck with the more "standard" kid cereals like Fruity Pebbles and Cookie Crisp. Go figure.

I seem to remember my cousins having those TMNT bowls though, and I was fascinated.

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 02/13/2006 02:28 PM EST

Off-topic: Charlie Brown Valentine is on tomorrow on ABC. They've been showing ads for it that are kinda funny due to fact that the narrator is using a seductive Barry White type voice. Who knew that watching Charlie Brown could be sexy?

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 02/13/2006 02:31 PM EST

That's what being a 21st century adult is all about. You get to buy the toys you miss as a kid, and use 'Collectable" as justification. Unless you're like me. Then, "He's just a wierdo." is a valid excuse.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/13/2006 02:33 PM EST

Off topic, but while we're describing ancillary items (promotional tie-ins):

We had on Ghostbusters yesterday, and my boyfriend said to me and my brother, "I'm sure you guys had Ecto Cooler in your lunchboxes in school at one point."

Oh my god, did we ever?! I think everyone at some point liked Ecto Cooler. My mom used to buy the stuff constantly--great stuff.

My boyfriend is 4 years older than me, so he was a little older during the Ninja turtles craze (I was 7 in late 1989--he was 11). But, he said he liked the movie. It's almost like the stuff that flew by us early 80s babies (thank goodness)--Thomas The Tank Engine, Barney, and all that crap we thankfully were too old to like.

Myself and one of my cousins (who is about eighteen months younger than me) were watching one of those damn "Thomas the Tank Engine" videos with a much younger cousin (this was 5 1/2 years ago). I still can't understand why we were watching it, but anyways, I discovered that Alec Baldwin narrated it, and George Carlin was actually on it at one time. I thought I was going to cry...GEORGE CARLIN on a "wholesome" kiddie show?! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 02/13/2006 03:07 PM EST

Jazzy--long time no see. How's everything going? I got DDR Mario Mix--it's alot of fun--the boyfriend got if from ebay for the same price it was in the store--brand new!

I loved Legos--I played w/them well into middle school, I believe until the end of 7th grade. I think they are great for the imagination--I made an airport out of legos one time--nothing spectacular--it was multi-colored and stuff, but that's cool.

Charlie Brown as sexy? Leave it to JLAJRC to come up w/that. I'm proud--really. It sounds like a Darth Poop thought. Don't worry, Darth Poop, you're still one in a million.

Supposedly, the people at Jenny Craig think that method works when they decided to use a Barry White-esque song to promote Kirstie Alley stuffing her face. Yeah, I think I'd rather see Miss Piggy doing that instead. Yuck.

Gang, if I could send you all those cute little paper valentines like the ones in elementary school, I would. Those were fun.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 02/13/2006 03:27 PM EST

I completly screwed myself when I was a kid. I went through so many "collection" phases, from Masters of the Universe, to the Transformers, to GI Joe, to TMNT, with many special guests in between. But by far, my TMNT craze was the biggest. I seriously had about as much Ninja Turtle gear, toys, and food as anybody. I even remember getting the TMNT arcade game on Nintendo one Christmas Eve and being hypnotized the rest of the Holiday season, even got an awesome TMNT table hockey game that Christmas.

But here's the main point of the story: on one really rainy, boring day, in the basement, I figured that it would be the best idea ever to make a new breed of TMNT action figures. I thought "how simple it must be to detatch the various limbs and heads from TMNT action figure torsos, and re-attach them to create new super figures that my friends would envy and wonder where on Earth I found them. However, the "I screwed myself" part, comes from the fact that I dis-assembled dozens of figures to create my own Casey/Shredder/Leonardo, before realizing that those little rubber bands were all necessary assembly parts, and that in my chaos, I had torn apart any hope of even rebuilding the original figures. After realizing this I sought the help of my parents, who were amazed at how much distruction I had brought forth on my action figures, and punished me for being so wreckless. In the end, my figures filled their awesome carrying case as a mix and match of body parts that looked kindof like Super Shredder had his vengence on a the cast of TMNT while they slept.

Poor me, poor, poor me.

Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 02/13/2006 03:27 PM EST

Money my parents spent on TMNT toys when I was young: $600

Money made from selling toys at garage sale for spending money: $60

Buying everything back: PRICELESS

Chestnuts roasted by TommDay @ 02/13/2006 04:23 PM EST

If it makes you feel any better, Fox I have a whole box of old My Little Ponies in my closet that I gave haircuts and pedicures.

And a warning to all X-E's.... don't buy this new V8 Fusion shit, it's fucking terrible. Fruit juice with the distinct aftertaste of tomato soup. Bleck.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/13/2006 04:52 PM EST

"What A Dummy!" *shudder!* You know the Alf inspired craze of families hiding trouble causing alien/ mythical creatures sitcoms ran it's course when a tv executive suggests they use the "possesed puppet" angle. Thankfully, It suffered in the sydnication ratings against Mr. Belvedere reruns.

Chestnuts roasted by cheaptrick @ 02/13/2006 04:55 PM EST

Maybe Darth Poop took over my mind when I wrote that? Maybe I'm transforming into a Darth? Darth JLAJRC? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Protect me.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 02/13/2006 05:17 PM EST

There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. You do not yet
realize your importance. You have only begun to discover you power.
Join me and I will complete your training. With our combined strength,
we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/13/2006 05:55 PM EST

Thinks about it. Ok, I'll join. What do I need to do first

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 02/13/2006 06:02 PM EST

I've said it before, and I'll say it now:
I love your articles. I was but a wee lad when the turtles came out, and I remember them being the really really cool thing when I was in pre-school. I never got "into" them, but of course that ment that I still had the crappy handheld tiger video games, ate the cereal with the cereal bowl, and ate the sugary delicious pie. I remember them being green with vanilla, as your articles have written. And I still remember how they taste and want to eat them again.

I know at some point I saw the movie, but I was 5 when it came out. Thus, I can't remember it at all. This article has inspired me to find that film and watch it again.

Sometimes these articles make me feel left out. My neighborhood had very few kids in it, so it was rare to go over to a friends house and play video games (although we still did). But I feel connected, because I ate and loved TMNT pie. Because I love pudding pops. Or because I remember the encyclopedia brittanica guy. I get teary eyed when I think of the Super Mario Bros. Super show. And I feel validated that I wasn't the only one who spent their Friday's alone, eating candy and watching TGIF.

So much of my life passes without wonder. I don't get excited about new products or holidays. But this site gets me in the holiday spirits every time. It makes me remember how awesome Christmas was or how cool breakfast cereal promotions are. It gives me a little spark that I lost somewhere in my youth. For that, I thank you Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Jono @ 02/13/2006 06:03 PM EST

JLAJRC- Whine a lot, then kill some kids. Then you’re totally in.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/13/2006 06:05 PM EST

Jono: Speaking of the Encylopedia Britannica guy, he was on VH1's recent 100 Greatest Teen Stars. His name is Donovan something and he looks like Phillip Seymore Hoffman in Capote now. The funny thing is that he now a webmaster for an amateur porn site. I was laughing when I saw that.

DP: I withdraw my nomination, although I do whine alot. Too violent for me.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 02/13/2006 06:50 PM EST

When I was in Disney World, I was in high school. Jim Henson was there with the rest of the Muppeteers and crew. I saw them on 3 separate days of filming around the park. The first day when they were finished Jim Henson was walking through the crowd. I got the courage to go up to him and say hi. What did I say in my precious time with this genius? "I'm really looking forward to seeing the Turtles movie" (I had seen a piece where he was talking enthusiasticly about the movie because the Creature shop had done the Turtles animatronics heads).

Man, youth is wasted on the young. Anyway, I raise my glass to his rememberance.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Muppet @ 02/13/2006 07:13 PM EST

matt, dont lie, your not 60, i think i have seen you in town cause we both live on the same island....come on admit it.

Maybe someday when you answer my emails we can smoke together and play with my snes, i have super smash tv and 2 controllers!

Chestnuts roasted by john wayne <--cs:s @ 02/13/2006 08:03 PM EST

Awesome. This week's Strong Bad Email includes a novelty ice cream that is remarkably similar to the Ninja Turtle Incredi-Pop. Happy bear holding a shark week, everybody.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 02/13/2006 08:26 PM EST

Yes, the size and scope of TMNT knew no bounds - or if it did, it broke every freakin' one of them.

I remember the cookies, pies (never ate the pies, but wanted to), cereal (kinda disliked it, but proof in advertising it made me want the stuff), and fruit snacks. I kind of always remember disliking the Farley's ones, but ate 'em anyhow - too waxy. I was more of a Fun Fruits guy...oh, and Fruit Bars.

After reading this article I have the urge to buy TMNT movies and cartoons, scour the aisles in Meijer for fruit snacks after work, (Fun Fruits, *sniff*), dig out my old TMNT lunchbox, and just bask in the glory of it all...at least until class tomorrow morning...

Being nostalgic is all about remembering the moment - the sights, the smells, the sounds. I can recall certain key points in my life with great detail, and it's all about being in the moment - something your nostalgic articles do exceptionally well.

Bravo, Matt, bravo.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 02/13/2006 08:37 PM EST

Oh, by the way. I just thought I would mention that I went to Toys 'R Us and Target with my brother and our friend. I bought myself a silly string Star Wars General Grievous blaster, and a crappy Robots in Action coloring book, and a box of 64 Crayola. My brother bought a Star Wars Lego set.

All three of us spent the rest of the day watching TV while playing with Legos and I colored in my coloring book (which I haven't done in YEARS and it was SO much fun).

Just last night my brother got on the Lego kick and climbed into the attic to assess the Lego situation upstairs. We took a trip back in time to a place long forgotten, but immediately remembered when the trigger is there. I NEED to get back in that attic and uncover some of the hidden treasures that have been lying in wait for years.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 02/13/2006 08:56 PM EST

I just want to say that I second what Tim and Jono said.

I'd also like to say that the TMNT pies I remember eating had plain vanilla filling and were covered in green icing. I'm not saying there wasn't another version, I'm just saying I distinctly remember the green-outside/white-inside ones.

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 02/13/2006 09:04 PM EST

The fun stuff was on this past Saturday...oh, and I did eat the pies once or twice...at a friend's house I believe. Geez, buried memories that surface...why do I feel as if they are repressed?...Is it because it was no longer "in" that I buried things so quickly?...

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 02/13/2006 09:08 PM EST

Allison- Things are good. I checked on Ebay for DDR Mario Mix a while back and the prices were still insane. I'll have to keep checking.

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 02/13/2006 09:28 PM EST

Does anyone remember a fruit snack brand called the Berry Bears? I think the commercials just featured some bears making bear-shaped fruit snacks or something. At one point they introduced one shaped like a pegasus named Flight (how imaginative). I've only found one passing reference to them on Google, so they gotta be pretty obscure.

Oh, and how about Big Mixx cereal? You know, with the animal that was part chicken, pig, moose, and something else. I don't think we ever actually bought the stuff, but I remember the commercials describing him as "coming from out of the Yakima Valley". I wonder how much the Yakima Chamber of Commerce or whatever paid for that kind of product placement? Though I don't think the Irish Tourist Board gets royalties for Lucky Charms. (Do they?)

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew @ 02/13/2006 09:56 PM EST

Hmmm... tomorrow I start my new job as a CSR for boscovs.com. Do I want to pack lunch in my TMNT luncbox, my Hugga Bunch lunchbox, or attempt to find some sort of normal containment for keeping my sammich cool? I should order some stuff from Think Geek to decorate my cubicle. Man, I'm so so happy to finally have a decent permanent job. ^_^

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/13/2006 10:21 PM EST

My only major permanent scar, besides surgery, is from a Genghis Frog toy I took to the face when I was 12. That was 14 years ago, but it looks like I got it yesterday. If anyone asks, I tell them I got stabbed with an Xacto knife, it sounds a lot cooler

Chestnuts roasted by jesse @ 02/13/2006 10:26 PM EST

No way, getting an action figure throwing induced scar is way cooler.

Anyone ever wish they could go back and watch themselves in the 80's, or what if you could acctually be that kid again for a couple of days. Man, if only I had a Delorean.

Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 02/13/2006 10:44 PM EST

Double post,

But anyone catch that post eariler that MadBallz are coming back. Ebay isn't turning up to many results.

Chestnuts roasted by Fox @ 02/13/2006 10:47 PM EST

For those looking for Mario: DDR you can preorder it directly from nintendo of America for 49.99. Shipment is expected in late Feb/early March. Heres the number: 1-800-255-3700

Saw this on Planet Gamecube, thought someone might be interested, even if the XBox DDRs are like so much better than the Gamecube one. Blech.

Chestnuts roasted by Kittycatgirl @ 02/13/2006 11:07 PM EST

Come on Matt, you can't keep me guessing like this. How much cornstarch? A pinch? A tablespoon? A cup?

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 02/13/2006 11:29 PM EST

Didn't really measure. Dumped in till it looked right. A few tablespoons.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 02/13/2006 11:30 PM EST

I remember having this hand held teenage mutant turtles video game. I actually still have a couple of figures from when i was 10 and i am 25. wow. they ruled.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike the Great @ 02/13/2006 11:37 PM EST

Jedoc: Ouch, yo. You cut me deep. But without a Turtle shaped cereal bowl of my own, I haven't a leg to stand on.

Chestnuts roasted by Quammy @ 02/13/2006 11:46 PM EST

Speaking of the turtles, I remember Matt doing an article on the infamous "I'm not a chicken, you're a turkey" PSA of the 90s. Does anyone know where I could download the commercial or see it?

Chestnuts roasted by Julie @ 02/13/2006 11:54 PM EST

Julie, Matt has the link in the most recent article. Click on my name in order to go directly to the page.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 02/14/2006 12:15 AM EST

Darth Muppet: Awesome memory, I'm so jealous

Does anyone remember the snack cakes from the early nineties that was supposed to look like they had a bite taken out of them already? I've looked and looked and I can't find what they were called. I know they were gay as hell, but hey, its a memory.

Chestnuts roasted by TommyDay @ 02/14/2006 03:01 AM EST

I never really understood the whole fake vanilla flavoring thing, although I've been known to suck down a cream soda in my day. Vanilla-flavored colas just don't do anything for me though.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 02/14/2006 08:50 AM EST

Oops..don't know how that happened.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 02/14/2006 08:51 AM EST

Thank you so much for your T.M.N.T
article, I was born in the last year of the eighties, but thank God those green bastards were still around in the ninedies, & today, but reading about the turtles stuff from the begining thrills me the most, & I'm gonna have to try the secret of the ooze drink, thanks again!

Chestnuts roasted by Zero Cool @ 02/14/2006 05:34 PM EST

Darth Poop, there was also a villain in the first NES TMNT game called "Mechaturtle". He was about half way through the game and tough as hell! He looked like a turtle for awhile, then he changed into a robot or something. I think the movie "The Wizard" even mentioned him in one scene when the dad was playing Nintendo in a motel room.....not sure, been awhile since I've watched it....

Chestnuts roasted by Loneman1 @ 02/14/2006 07:39 PM EST

wow I have definitely fallen off of the X-E x-press...My appologies to everyone. For some reason after Christmas I just had so much else to do or on my mind...I will try to post as much as I used to but i can't guarantee anything...Anyways, I just wanted to comment on how absolutely kick ass the Farley's fruit snacks were. They were more like gummi bears than fruit snacks and thats why they were the shit. It always made me laugh when companies had to come up with their own renderings of the turtles. They always looked so goofy! And to make things worse I swear some companies hired little kids to trace the already blasphemous artwork done by other companies leaving something similar to a diarreah streak instead of heroes in a half shell. ah memories........

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 02/14/2006 08:10 PM EST

You left out the Franco-American Pasta with meatballs that came in the can. Kinda like spaghetti but in TMNT shapes, I used to live on that stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by Jordan @ 02/15/2006 12:50 AM EST

Mentioned them, but they were left out intentionally for a future article.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 02/15/2006 10:05 AM EST

Thanks for the memories. They sold the TMNT pies in my high school cafeteria and I used to eat them all the time. I still have my TMNT playing cards...

Chestnuts roasted by Sarah @ 02/16/2006 12:31 AM EST

Where the hell are those Turtle Pies on the list? I remember begging Mom for those daily when I was a kid. Probobly the most sugar-filled dessert product in history. Raphael is cool but rude (Gimme a break!)

Chestnuts roasted by Adam @ 02/16/2006 02:20 PM EST

Hey Matt,

There is a good chance you'll never see this, since it is so far down the list. But I had to know--how many entries are there for ietrophysics on Google? Just 1. Yours. Becauses the real spelling is IATROPHYSICS. Whatever that means. But there are over 400 hits for it.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean (the awesome fish one) @ 02/16/2006 02:32 PM EST

Yay! A Sean post!

And a mystery solved!

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 02/16/2006 02:39 PM EST

ive eaten everything thRT YOU SHOWED ON THE TMNT PAGE...THE CRUNCHABUNGAS HMMM I STILL TASTE THEM FROM MY CHILDHOOD OF GETTING SICK AS HELL ON JUNK FOOD AND REAKLY WONDERING WHY I FELT THAT WAY....I LOVE IT THANKS FOR REMINDING ME.

Chestnuts roasted by milk @ 02/16/2006 05:11 PM EST

Wow, thoroughly impressed with your dedication to the TMNT brand. Also loved the tribute page to the cookies....I was actually in the commercial for those cookies. My sister was too and is actually in one of your screen shots. I got paid $20 for a 14 hour shoot at a run down old school on the northeast side of Milwaukee. We were told to bring 2 sets of clothes and a bag lunch. They actually ran out of film during the afternoon and had to pay for every kid on set to get McDonalds down the street...great times indeed. Along with the $20 we all got a vhs copy of the commercial, which I still have!! Great site! Thanks for the memories....

Chestnuts roasted by kyle @ 02/16/2006 09:29 PM EST

Care to sell this stuff to me?.. I'd like to buy them
IM DAMN SERIOUS

Chestnuts roasted by masonx31@bellsouth.net @ 02/16/2006 09:44 PM EST

Glad to bring you a momemt of joy Matt! Like you, I finally have a little time off, actually allowing me to post here. Not actually read all of the posts, mind you...

How are the fish? I just recently got a Rainbow Snakehead from a friend, and it is an awesome fish in terms of colour and personality. But they are probably illegal in NY (and most of the US) just because they are snakeheads--even though these ones are about as aggressive as minnows. And not much bigger.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean (the real one) @ 02/16/2006 11:04 PM EST

Yo Matt do you recall another commercial for the cereal where bebop and rocksteady steal the marshmallows and the turtles beat their asses and make them put them all back? Its funny to see the turtles glowering down at the two as they count the marshmallows they put in with bad counting (fifty eleven....fifty twelve.) Anyone?

Chestnuts roasted by Cap'n Spacklepants @ 02/17/2006 02:34 PM EST

Oh man, it's been a while since I've commented on X-E... but I never realized you did the article on the TMNT cookies. My daughter is now the proud owner of my Raphael coin bank cookie box, and that guy in the really band Michaelangelo costume, I have my picture with him somewhere. If I ever find it I'll be sure to find a scanner and send it in!

Chestnuts roasted by SKiTZo from stupid5pin.com @ 02/18/2006 04:14 AM EST

Yo Matt I totally still have a can of TMNT Chef Boyardee circa mid 90s! My parents tried to throw it away about a decade ago, but I saved it in my toybox...for a special occassion I guess? Like I'd open it on my 25th wedding aniversary or some shit? And so it waits...

Chestnuts roasted by PONSONBY BRITT @ 02/18/2006 05:25 PM EST

I still have a well worn and much used Michaelangelo bowl that came on a glorious and blessed box of the cereal some 17 years ago. I loved that bowl. Don't remember how I felt about the cereal.

Chestnuts roasted by Bonzo @ 02/18/2006 11:07 PM EST

Ah yes, that brings back memories, although I think that here in the UK, we take the prize for "most spurious turtle-themed foodstuff"...I remember insisting on eating turtle-brand BREAD. Nothing special about it, just your bog-standard loaf, but with the hero turtles on the packaging. We did have some cheap'n'nasty turtle pizza too...so in the thrall of turtlemania was that I was willing to eat apple pizza for dinner.

Chestnuts roasted by casiokid @ 02/20/2006 06:46 PM EST

I remember all of those turtles things, except the microwavable pizzas.

I even remember the commercials for the crunchabungas... actually all I remember from the commercial is the turtles saying

" blah blah blah blah new pizza crunchabungas!"
" SNACK ATTACK! SNACK ATTACK JACK!"
" blah blah blah blah spicy little pizzas!"

Ahh, the joys of my childhood.

Chestnuts roasted by Ken @ 02/22/2006 02:47 PM EST

Yo, I'm not about to read all those comments, but I have all four of the Ninja Turtles Cereal Bowls that came with that cereal. I was super into TMNT and I realized at the time that those bowls were hot shit: they came shrink wrapped to the box and I begged my dad to buy all 4 boxes at one time. I think I probably ate all the cereal in like a week. I LOVED that shit. Chex was a favorite cereal of mine, and to add a sort of Lucky Charm element to it was awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Craig @ 02/22/2006 10:38 PM EST

I remember suggesting that you write about Crunchabungas, but you you said you didn't have the resources to do a commercial. But now you have written about them. And so to that I say: SWEET MOTHER OF FUCKER JESUS HOLY AND SHIT!!!

Anyway, it's been forever since I've visited, but I like the article, even though I haven't read it. And now I shall read it.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 02/24/2006 10:12 PM EST

Matt, your the reason for living.

When I was little I was afraid of marshmellow related cereals therfore was too afraid to exprience the amazment that was "Ninja Turtle Cereal"

-cheese

Chestnuts roasted by Louie face @ 02/25/2006 12:06 AM EST

Just finished reading the article. Figured I'd try making the drink. Of course, all I had was Orange Jell-o Light. And then I dropped the package in. And the corn starch didn't mix!

I tried it. It tastes like a hot drink of orange Jell-o. With clumps of corn starch. Thanks anyways.

Chestnuts roasted by Tutsuro @ 02/26/2006 02:30 PM EST

Oh my god! TMNT BUBBLE-GUM-EYED POPSICLES!!! The ice cream trucks in Austin used to carry those and I got one every time. Best snack food I have ever eaten -- and I'm speaking of experiences I had when I was only like.. 5 years old! Left that big an impression on me lol.

Chestnuts roasted by ReishVedaur @ 02/27/2006 05:48 AM EST

Mmmmm... OOOZE!! I just recently found some of my old TMNT stuff in the attic... it was like a time warp!

Chestnuts roasted by Double G @ 02/28/2006 02:28 PM EST

matt: Cereal link to 2003 article no worky.

Chestnuts roasted by Ed @ 03/02/2006 04:09 AM EST

I can remember a different kind of Ninja Turtle cookie... it was a chocolate cookie with a green mint frosting... I remember getting in physical fights with my younger brother over these cookies, the worst of which led to the breaking of our garage door...

They were THAT good...

Chestnuts roasted by Tony @ 03/05/2006 01:11 AM EST

You forgot to mention TMNT pasta in a can. Spaghettios TMNT style.

Chestnuts roasted by Juiceman @ 03/05/2006 07:50 PM EST