02/09/2006 Entry: "Final Destination 3."

Caught a screener for Final Destination 3 last night. I'm convinced that they could and just might create additional chapters to this series for the rest of time. It just...works. It's stupid and dumb and all that, sure, but the lack of an actual, tangible central villain actually helps the franchise, because there's no actual, tangible central villain that starts getting all old on you by the fifteenth entry. Seriously, they could run with this shit forever.

Each of the films in the series has its big opening incident, and while I still think the hellplane from the original worked best, FD 3's roller coaster opening is worth shaming myself with the cliche of saying that it's worth the price of admission alone. It is. The rest of the death scenes range from spectacular to "just there," but what I admired most about Final Destination 3 was how straight played it was. This wasn't an intentional self-parody. It knew when to be funny, but it wasn't a big joke between us and them. And enough was done to beef up a story we already know they made it seem less like a retread and more like a step forward. Or something. I don't know. Lots of heads blew up, and I like that.

Chestnuts roasted by Mattman @ 02/10/2006 12:37 AM EST

You are missing out on the one big seller of the other franchises (sp?): No big merch deals. No toys, cartoon series, um...other stuff. A little bit, yes, but I don't see any "Final Destination" Mad Balls, now do I?

Chestnuts roasted by Mad Cow @ 02/10/2006 12:59 AM EST

Never seen any from the franchise but they seem plenty scary. The self-parody does get really old sometimes.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/10/2006 01:38 AM EST

I agree--the Final Destination series will be a franchise that'll take it through nine feature films and about two dozen direct-to-video attempts.

People didn't go to all the Jason films to root for the "good" guys, they went to see creative deaths for dumb teenagers. This is doing the same thing, and "Death By Tanning Salon" already guarantees success for #3.

And as Matt already mentioned, there is no main villain (besides Death) to have to keep resurrecting over and over. Freddy and Jason shouldn't have fought each other....they should have saved their strength to team up against their REAL competition.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 02/10/2006 03:25 AM EST

I think the Final Destination flicks are doing it proper. I mean, they're certainly not the pinnacle of cinematic mastery, but they're a horror franchise that I don't have to actively work at to enjoy. But if they're going to be successful in the long run, they're going to need a slightly more sympathetic villain. And that's why I think that the next couple of films should ease up on the whole "Death stalking well-groomed young people" and depict him adopting a daughter, hiring an apprentice, confronting the spirit of Rock 'n Roll, pretending to be Santa Claus, and living out a weird yet strangely sweet romance with an old farmer woman. If they play their cards right, they could have him doing commercial spots by 2008.

THERE IS NO ERECTILE DISFUNCTION.
THERE IS ONLY ME.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 02/10/2006 07:06 AM EST

"Lots of heads blew up, and I like that."

Me too. Maybe I will check it out, not tonight though. I've had my schedule cleared for tonight for years, well, maybe weeks. It is the 4 episode, 2 hour, season (I hope not series) finale of Arrested Development. BE THERE!

Chestnuts roasted by Geoffinsanity @ 02/10/2006 08:19 AM EST

I never have any good erectile dysfunction puns when I need them (yes, we're talking daily basis).

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 02/10/2006 08:21 AM EST

I didn't even realize there was a Final Destination 2.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt St. Cool @ 02/10/2006 09:45 AM EST

eh, I liked 1, but I don't think I saw 2.

Speaking of franchises...I can't wait for the new Police Academy movie!! It's gonna have Steve Guttenberg back as Carey Mahoney, and I think Sweetchuck is writing it! I hope Bobcat is in it too, I love Zed! And I can't believe George Gaines is still alive, he's like 90 now, no shit!

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 02/10/2006 09:59 AM EST

Well, Matt- You have given me a bit of curiosity about this movie- I may actually see it (for free) without just discarding it as crap immediately. I assumed it would be AWFUL. I never saw 2 because the original few people left over from 1 didn't return, and I HATE it when they make sequels without the original actors. (ie; 'Home Alone 3')

Kidneyboy- Is there REALLY going to be another 'Police Academy' movie, or are you putting us on??

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 02/10/2006 10:03 AM EST

no shit, here's the imdb link:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0418068/

it's just to bad that Tackleberry is dead...

I would never, NEVER joke about something seriously important like Police Academy. I really want to see it!

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 02/10/2006 10:22 AM EST

Thanks Geoff I didn't even know the Arrested finale was airing tonight!! Apparently William Hung is making a guest appearance. This will be very bittersweet. I say odds are two to one against any resolution to the Les Cousins Dangereux conflict...I'm going to miss this show so much!

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/10/2006 10:31 AM EST

I like exploading heads, too!

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 02/10/2006 10:50 AM EST

I'm no horror fan (overactive imagination and all that, got traumatized by Gremlins, etc), but on the subject of movies, I talked in the last thread on how I won 2 free tickets for Loew's Cinemas due to winning a Scene It game at my college . And you have NO IDEA how close I was to winning 2 more tickets plus a $30 gift certificate to Friendly's for a raffle held yesterday! At the lunch table I sat at with some friends, some guy came over and gave us 2 strips of raffle tickets from the same line, me taking the longer of the 2.

Turns out the friend that took the shorter strip had a winning ticket. :/ And there were only 2 winners, and the other was ALSO sitting at my table (it was her birthday, no less, too)

Oh well. I might check out Pink Panther sometime during the future, or just be thankful that those free tickets don't expire.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 02/10/2006 11:25 AM EST

I was introduced to the evil of the unneeded sequel via Meatballs 2. That's all that needs to be said right there.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/10/2006 12:01 PM EST

Muppet baby

You are not correct, Ali Larter reprised her role from the first movie into the second as the only survivor. She had herself locked up in the nut house for her own safety or some other weak reason.

What I'm curious about is if any of the survivors of the 2nd make it.

I enjoyed the movies though I saw the 2nd one before the first and found it didn't really make a difference.

Chestnuts roasted by Wenthral @ 02/10/2006 12:38 PM EST

Matt,
I was watching Family Ties on the Hallmark channel the other day. It was an early epsiode where Alex P Keaton was delivering groceries. He delivers to this incedibly attractive girls apartment and proceeds to lose his virginity to her. That lucky bastard. The girl was none other than Amy Steel (Ginny from Friday the 13th Par II). How lucky is Alex P. Keaton?

Chestnuts roasted by T.J. @ 02/10/2006 12:56 PM EST

Yeah I'm really pumped to see it. Gonna check it out tonight probably. Roller Ghosterrrr

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 02/10/2006 01:11 PM EST

I think the little rocket-toting stego on the index page is named SlugFest. He was a Transformer cassette. At least, he reminds me of SlugFest.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/10/2006 02:25 PM EST

Kingklash is klorrect.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 02/10/2006 03:27 PM EST

I doubt I'll be seeing FD3. The wife saw part 2(but never 1) and won't watch any more because it was too graphic. I'm too cheap to go by myself, and I don't have enough interest to wait for the DVD and Netflix it. *le sigh*

Chestnuts roasted by ZiZak @ 02/10/2006 03:46 PM EST

I hve a comic book somewhere with expanded bios on SlugFest and his buddy OverKill. My favorite bit was how it said that sometimes, OverKill's size-changing circuitry sometimes glitches, leaving him a tiny li'l T-rex, and "About as threatening as a small dog."

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/10/2006 04:10 PM EST

I saw the original Final Destination during the spring of 2000 with a friend when I was in eleventh grade. I remember how relaxed we were watching the movie...until "hellplane" exploded. We both screamed and threw our heads into our laps like we were doing a "duck and cover" drill. Man, that was a great movie.

I love how in horror movies there is always a "theme" that is the harbringer of bad tidings. It is a symbol--a color, facial expression, or such. In this movie, it's the John Denver song "Rocky Mountain High." I'm sure if John Denver was alive now, he would have been agitated that his song was used in such a way.

Well, consider this--at least they chose not to use "Thank God I'm a Country Boy," or "Annie's Song." That song reminds me of my last plane ride--I was watching an infomercial in the wee hours of the morning of my trip to Disney World 4 years ago this March. I had to get up at 2:45 in the morning, and the infomercial was for a Time Life CD collection of 70s songs. I kept singing "Annie's Song" at the airport--which made my friend ask "Where the HELL did you get that song from?" LOL.

I'm also infamous for imitating the camera-flash sound effect from the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" remake. And this is without ever seeing the movie. As you all know, I used to work in a video store, and the trailer got on my bosses' nerves, so I did the next best thing--I IMITATED the sound. She didn't seem too happy.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 02/10/2006 04:12 PM EST

The best "head exploding" scene of all time doesn't actually take place in a horror movie, but a drama named The Upside of Anger. Joan Allen is staring menacingly at her daughter's boyfriend who she hates and his head explodes, blood flying everywhere and his nose dropping into his soup. It's a dream sequence though.

Not a bad movie either, stupid ending aside.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 02/10/2006 04:54 PM EST

I half-glanced at my Yahoo page this morning, and transposed two movie titles (part of the normal functioning of my brain, not a glitch, just new ways of looking at things) and came up with "Final George" and "Curious Destinantion 3", which would both be films I would watch, just on title alone.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/10/2006 05:18 PM EST

Oh yeah, kingklash well today I bought a pack of Royal lime "Ooze" gelaton with a TMNT2 promo on it from the old timey grocery store in town. Beat that!

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/10/2006 05:44 PM EST

First movie - Great fun.

Second movie - Entertaining, but "rehashy"

Third movie - the worst screenplay to date, an achingly slow pace, offensive 9/11 references, and a drip of an ending.

The idea has been bled dy. Move along, new Line.

Chestnuts roasted by Todd Cummings, esq @ 02/10/2006 05:49 PM EST

First movie - Great fun.

Second movie - Entertaining, but "rehashy"

Third movie - the worst screenplay to date, an achingly slow pace, offensive 9/11 references, and a drip of an ending.

The idea has been bled dry. Move along, new Line.

Chestnuts roasted by Todd Cummings, esq @ 02/10/2006 05:49 PM EST

Mystie, its sad to say, but I dont know too many people who CAN top that.

How did your interview go?

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 02/10/2006 06:03 PM EST

starwenn, I'm responding to your post in this blog. That is EXACTLY where I was filmed!! How weird is that? I just remember someone asking me and two of the people I was with if we would talk on camera, and I was the nice one who would. Not sure if you still have the tape, but I was a freshman in the video. I had long dark brown hair (I think my hair either touched or went slightly past my shoulders at that time). I think my hair was in a ponytail--I still have bangs though. If you have the video, take a look.

I remember talking about how it was my second day of college when 9/11 happened. Damn, that is friggin' coincidental that I may have helped you out with your project.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 02/10/2006 06:08 PM EST

Interview went swimmingly. I was hired on the spot pending the papers on my credit report come back without any terrible marks on it. I'll be starting as an Internet CSR as soon as everything clears.

I also had the luck today of going to the shoe outlet and finding dozens of Vans identical to the ones I already have for only $27. W00t! New shoes, new job, and like-new packets of discontinued Apple Kool-Aid. Must be my lucky day.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/10/2006 06:48 PM EST

Congrats, Mystie. I hope it works out for you there!!!

I went to get my Substitute Teacher application packet today. My elementary school district hires their substitutes as "employees" of the school--they certify their own subs. Pretty cool stuff. I would love to teach there if the opportunity came up to do it. I may go back for my teaching degree.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 02/10/2006 08:30 PM EST

Congrats and good luck on the new job Mystie! CSRs reprezent.
That horror movie technique Allison described is called a leitmotif, which is up there on my top lists for cool sounding words...the only non horror example I can come up with now is the funky horns hit from Kill Bill.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/10/2006 09:00 PM EST

So Matt, are you going to Toy Fair this year?

Chestnuts roasted by The Great Glass Elevator @ 02/10/2006 09:10 PM EST

Squee, I'm writing that word down now. Thanks for the new vocab word!!!!!!! If I decide to write an essay for fun about techniques in horror movies, I will use that word--giving you FULL CREDIT!!!

Yeah, I ripped that one off from Fast Times At Ridgemont High. You all love it.

Hey, random though, whiz kids--I was thinking about the Golden Girls before. don't ask, I'm not even sure. Actually, I'm thinking of it right now. I'm sure this topic has sprung up on here at least once, but given out depressing conversation this week, who is YOUR favorite Golden Girl????? For the record, mine is a tie between Estelle Getty and Betty White (b/c everything dumb Betty White says can be counteracted by ANYTHING Estelle Getty can throw back at her!).

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 02/10/2006 09:18 PM EST

My fav is Blanche. Most definately. You know what's weird? I've gone into the porn shop and caught the guys there watching Golden Girls on at least 3 seperate occasions.

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/10/2006 09:20 PM EST

The red coat in Schindler's list is also a leitmotif. Its the only color you see throughout the black and white film, and I remember cringing when I saw that red coat on a pile of clothes and belongings in the concentration camp scene.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 02/10/2006 09:21 PM EST

I just wanted to know--has anyone ever heard of a NES game called "Bible Adventures"??? I played an emulator version, and was just attempting to manuever a character carrying Baby Moses, except I kept getting attacked by spiders. I heard this game didn't get the official seal from Nintendo.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 02/10/2006 09:33 PM EST

Yeah I rented Bible Adventures back in the day. It was on a baby blue cartridge and was done by Wisdom Tree, one of those companies that did not appeal to Nintendo to get the Seal of Approval. The Noahs Ark game was fun I guess.. it was actually pretty lame in general though.

Chestnuts roasted by Kittycatgirl @ 02/10/2006 10:49 PM EST

Yep. It was on Genesis too. I like how you can toss Moses in the river, beat the level, and it's like "Congrats! -But you forgot the baby Moses"...

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 02/10/2006 11:00 PM EST

Here's a little review on the Bible Adventures game:
http://www.seanbaby.com/nes/w20-19.htm

My parents have been dropping off everything I ever owned, since I have a house now, finally. I found a couple things I don't recall having but have decided now are the coolest things of all time. A little book called "How to win at Donkey Kong" and the other is a Knight Rider activity book. You haven't lived til you've tried to find which three cartoons of David Hasslehoff's face are exactly the same.

Chestnuts roasted by mags @ 02/10/2006 11:12 PM EST

Just got done watching the Arrested Development finale. That was emotional.
I can't pick a favorite G Girl. They're like four parts of a whole.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/11/2006 01:41 AM EST

If you missed AD tonight, Death may come for YOU as well. ....Cause...you know...Death is a William Hung fan....

Wow....I have seen many finales......but I'll be darned if that wasn't one of the single greatest ones of all time. It took a really long time for me to understand this show, but I'm glad I had the patience.

During the commercials I periodically checked in with the Opening Ceremonies to see what I was missing. I caught glimpses of (and I'm not making this up) seven gigantic hornblowers from the Alps making fart noises, about fifteen men in frilly French outfits with plastic ice cream cones glued to their hats...and I think some people were on fire, which may or may not have been part of the show.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 02/11/2006 03:12 AM EST

Psh. The opening ceremonies? Massive disappointment. I mean, seriously. The Olympic games in Italy. Was I the only one who was hoping that they might revert to form and release some lions in the middle of the entire affair? Just, you know, out of habit?

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 02/11/2006 07:24 AM EST

The Olypmics?! That's show's still on? Booooring. Lemme guess, there's gonna be some people running, some jumpers, a couple people playing on monkey bars, and a handful of sports. Please. I can go to the playground at reccess and see that. What's next, they gonna start playing hopscotch?

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/11/2006 08:38 AM EST

Mystie: I have one word that will change your mind on the Winter Olympics...

Curling.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 02/11/2006 08:41 AM EST

Oh crap, the curling! How could I have forgotten about the curling again? I've got to get ahold of my bookie right now! (He's giving me great odds on the Jamaican team. Let's see lightning strike twice, boys!)

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 02/11/2006 10:08 AM EST

Do you suppose some broom company endorses themselves as the official brooms of the Canadian curling team? I'd probably buy a broom simply for that reason alone.

Chestnuts roasted by Ed @ 02/11/2006 10:56 AM EST

I'd buy stock in that broom company. I mean, come on, it's curling. Every one loves curling.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/11/2006 11:25 AM EST

According to "The Ultimate History of Video Games" (a book I bought for my husband, but so far I'm the only one who's read it from cover to cover), Bible Adventures (and it's religious siblings) did NOT get the Nintendo Seal of Approval, but Nintendo, figuring it would have a PR nightmare on its hands if it went after them, just let them go.

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 02/11/2006 11:42 AM EST

Not a huge Olympics fan, but I think the Winter ones are slightly more interesting...better outfits, and more novelty. All I care about in regards to the current incarnation is that The Office won't be on until they're over so I say bring on the closing ceremonies.
The Arrested finale was just nuts. It hit all the right notes...it wasn't too madcap or sentimental; it was funny but it tied up all the important points. I was wrong about them not addressing the George Michael/Maeby love story, which they handled very sweetly. This can't be over!
Getting ready to eat some Corn Flakes from a Kong Collector's Pack I picked up yesterday. Hopefully they won't be too stale already.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/11/2006 11:59 AM EST

Matt, are you ever going to do a diatribe/ essay/ harangue/ article/ vent about the time in the late 70's-early 80's where just about every show tried to have a Olympic-themed episode or two every time the event came around? Even Buck Rogers had a "Space Olympics" episode! The mind boggles! "My finger points!" Shut up, Wimp Lo.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash the self-microwaving @ 02/11/2006 12:08 PM EST

Woohoo! I just picked up several bottles of Vault from the grocery store. For those of you who don't breathlessly hang on every tidbit of news from the soda-swilling world, it's basically Surge repackaged, and with a jacked up caffiene content. Finally, after all these years trying to fill the emptiness with Mountain Dew, which leaves one with the sneaking suspicion that one is drinking a carbonated green Flav-o-Ice, we have Surge again. Also, I found a coupon today which grants the bearer a chili cheese dog, chili cheese burger, and chili cheese fries for three bucks at Weinerschnizel. Take that, corporeal form!

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 02/11/2006 01:52 PM EST

I saw Peeps from four seperate holidays today! Halloween Delight-Fills and Christmas Trees at Amelia's Grocery Outlet; the gamut of Valentines and Easter at my normal grocery.

Tis a good time to be a Peeps man. Now I can't wait for the July 4 Peeps.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 02/11/2006 02:42 PM EST

Peep!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/11/2006 02:56 PM EST

Hey! I will have no peeping on this blog!

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/11/2006 03:15 PM EST

Woah mtrox! I just got back from Amelia's, but mine had no Peeps at all. A lot of leftover Halloween cereal, though. It's snowing so I went there to fill up on cheap snackies. Saw the Peeps Easter decorating kit at Eckard already. Didn't buy it, but I got this magic chocolate egg that has a Peep inside, ready to hatch. Also a Peeps egg decorating kit I picked up at Dollar Tree. Now I have 10 cool Peeps things!

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 02/11/2006 03:22 PM EST

Good to see there's a fellow hardcore Peeps-head. I currently have housed in my collection: 2 packs of Cocoa Cats, the Halloween decorating kit, Halloween Delight-Fills, the Christmas decorating kit, cookie-flavored Cut-Outs, strawberry hearts, vanilla hearts, plain hearts, the Valentines Decorating Kit. I need to start collecting the Easter stuff soon.

I love Peeps, but I'm dieting too much to eat them, so I hoarde them.

I also need to pick up the Peeps-maker. I'm not sure if I'm interested in zee stuffed animals.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 02/11/2006 03:49 PM EST

Not to be totally off topic or anything but, I wanted to bring it to everyone's attention that the Jim Henson company is working on a sequel to the Dark Crystal! It's called "The Power of the Dark Crystal" and Genndy Tartakovsky is directing it! SWEET!

Chestnuts roasted by Mattman @ 02/11/2006 05:00 PM EST

Poop?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/11/2006 05:24 PM EST

It is indeed sweet. If you read back a few entries I posted some quotes from GT about the Crystal sequel...I've never seen the original but I think Tartakovsky is brilliant so I'm jazzed about the whole thing.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/11/2006 06:00 PM EST

I'm jazzed as well squee4242(as previously stated). And that's more like it kingklash!

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/11/2006 06:03 PM EST

Do I see Faker and a dinosaur with a missle?

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 02/11/2006 08:05 PM EST

You know, I totally hate that Germany is a third-world country entertainment/film-wise. I'll get a chance to see this film in, what, 2007? Maybe?
-jared

Chestnuts roasted by ohgodtherats @ 02/12/2006 10:02 AM EST

The first two movies were great.

The first had a unique concept and some great kills (including my favorite -- the blonde getting offed by the bus. It's great fun to watch that with people who don't see it coming). Definitely the darkest of the films, with a mean comedy streak.

The second was just a whole helluva lot of fun, with the best car pileup EVER, and some more unique deaths. I easily liked this one as much as the first, but for entirely different reasons.

The third one was only "OK". The chief problem was that I could really give a crap about ANY of the paper-thin characters. Mind you, the extended double-boob-shot sequence was appreciated, but I really just wanted everyone to die. The nailgun is worth the price of admission alone.

Chestnuts roasted by Billybob @ 02/14/2006 04:48 PM EST

Matt,

Thanks for the recommendation - I was a bit hesitant about seeing FD3 at first, so you've convinced me to go see it sometime today LOL

Chestnuts roasted by BuddyBlue76 @ 02/20/2006 05:38 AM EST