11/19/2005 Entry: "The Saturday Night Thread."

Wow, that's some kickass string of replies you guys put together for the last survey. We usually don't see that kind of holiday jubilation until like, the second week of December. I think you deserve a prize.

This is, of course, the All Day Saturday Thread, which is a lot like the Saturday Night Thread, only posted earlier. Same rules apply. NO fishing.

Survey: Okay, we've heard some of your great holiday traditions in the last thread, and Jesus Christ did they ever fill me with vicarious joy. Now, let's hear the opposite. Let's hear your sucky holiday stories.

Chestnuts roasted by Mattman @ 11/19/2005 07:57 PM EST

Wow, that prize was...sharp.
These 3 quick stories will probably pale to many others that will be posted but here we go:
1. 1993-Sick as a dog. Threw up on my mattress on Christmas Eve and was generally miserable on Christmas.
2 1994-Socks and 2 copies of the STAR WARS TRILOGY on VHS (apparently my parents and my brother did not coordinate what they were getting me). Not a bad thing but that's about all I got that year for whatever reason. I still have them. One is the Deluxe trilogy VHS and the other is the THX remastered
3. Not bad just kinda stupid: My parents got me a WALKMAN ('93) but then bought me a RUSH cassette tape instead of the CD.

Muppet Baby, none of my students were upset about Eddie's passing but one of my co-worker's students were so go figure.

Squee,, I haven't see the the GOF yet. Any good (sans spoilers of course)?

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 11/19/2005 08:16 PM EST

My worst Christmas experience...decided to start a tradition of drinking every christmas eve. But my first one ended up with me thinking I could stay up all night drinking. When I realized it was 6am and my sister was knocking on my door I knew I couldn't fake my way out of it so I opened the door with a can of beer and yelled merry christmas. They didn't talk to me all day.

Chestnuts roasted by Sempai @ 11/19/2005 08:17 PM EST

Well, since there's a new survey this observation will probably get lost in the chaos, but I was watching some movie on Starz tonight. And who was there doing the stupid Starz-is-awesome intro? That's right - Mike Nelson from MST3K fame! How low he's descended....

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 11/19/2005 08:20 PM EST

My worst holiday experience would have to be the Christmas of �93. My parents were in the middle of their divorce and things didn�t seem festive enough as it was around the house, and to add to the whole anti-Christmas vibe that year my grandfather went in to a coma 4 days before the big day, never to regain consciousness. That one event completely killed Christmas, as his funeral was the day after Christmas.

Chestnuts roasted by encinaman @ 11/19/2005 08:23 PM EST

Goodbye ghost, hello red star. So... would Superman be powerless in this blog?

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 11/19/2005 08:24 PM EST

Gozer,
Funny you should mention that; my NETFLIX pick of the day was MSTK's MITCHELL which of course was bye bye Joel, hello Mike. Interesting...

Long overdue pic of E.Claire's 1st Halloween for those who are interested. Click the name.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 11/19/2005 08:27 PM EST

Worst Christmas was when I was married to Butthead. He hated Christmas and everything that was fun. But also, my parents were in the middle of moving when my mom had emergency surgury. My dad couldn't miss any work and mom had to stay where she was for a few weeks. My mom said on Christmas she went to Taco Bell for supper. It's not Christmas if your not dressed up, with family, and eating prime rib.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 11/19/2005 08:38 PM EST

I broke my toe on Christmas Eve one year. It was really stupid, too. My grandmother sent us a Kareoke machine, which we opened Christmas Eve morning. My sister and I were in the middle of an impromptu kickline to the Frank Sinatra version of "(Theme from) New York, New York" when I kicked her foot really hard. I spent the rest of the day with ice on my toe, went to the hospital the next day after we opened presents, and was on crutches for the rest of Christmas Vacation, one of the least fun I've ever had.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 11/19/2005 08:38 PM EST

That camcorder in the commercial is the same one that I have, it still works great as well, I just need to get a battery pack for it.

Chestnuts roasted by Rambozo @ 11/19/2005 08:38 PM EST

I think it was the year it rained and was like 60 degrees on Christmas Day. Now I know it doesn't snow for everyone but living in the snow belt in northeast ohio you EXPECT some fucking snow on Christmas!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 11/19/2005 08:45 PM EST

The only bad X-mas I can think of was the first year my Grandmother couldn't throw her annual X-mas party because of Alzheimers.

As for other holidays, my house burned down one Thanksgiving.That pretty much put us in "exile" for 5 years.

And there was the Halloween when my Dad caught my Mom and I talking about what a jerk he is and for two days he wanted to divorce my Mom and leave home (he didn't divorce her or leave, he got over it, he's still an asshole).

And, there was the time my Uncle died between X-mas and New Years.

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 11/19/2005 09:04 PM EST

This wasn't really bad for me, but it was for my brother, who was sleeping at the foot of my bed.

I was pretty young, and woke up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve, right around the time when I suspected Santa would be bringing my presents. I REALLY had to pee, but I didn't want to run across the hall to the bathroom, because if Santa saw me, he would take away all my presents, because would think I was trying to peek. So I decided to "hold it"... Well, that idea didn't work really effectively, so I (and my brother) woke up with a rather moist surprise. But at least Santa left me presents, and that's all that mattered.

Also, one year I drew some pictures of Santa and Mrs. Claus on cardboard, colored them, cut them out, and left them with the cookies for Santa. But in the morning, he had taken the cookies but not the pictures!! I was SO SAD, and I cried because now I would not be able to give it to him until next year! I think we still have those drawings in the box with the Christmas ornaments

Chestnuts roasted by LuLu @ 11/19/2005 09:17 PM EST

For the most part my holidays have been comparatively stress-free. There was the usual low-level crap with my control-obsessed father deciding he needed to scream at me or my brother Christmas Day because we were doing something that set off his Crazy-o-Meter, but that was fairly easy to shrug off.

The worst to date is tied between three Christmases, two one right after the other. My father, who is difficult to be around for a variety of reasons, stormed out two years in a row on Christmas Eve and was gone even after we went to bed. The first time because he and Mom were fighting over something, the second had something to do with my much older brother and sister (who had hated him from day one) apparently admitting to his face that they disliked him. He threatened to move out. What was really weird about that was that the whole time, and bear in mind, I was only about eight when this happened, I had this insane urge to laugh. I went through a weird phase as a child where upseting things gave me the giggles.

The most recent to date was one year I went to my sister's house for Christmas. The whole vacation was great, but Christmas Eve night, after I'd gone to bed in the upstairs apartment built onto the house, I proceeded to freeze my butt off. I was cuddled under a sleeping bag, and was so cold that I pulled all of my clothes out of my luggage and stuffed them into my sleeping bag for insulation. Why I didn't just go downstairs I have no idea, but oh well. The next morning it turns out that my sister accidentally turned off the heat to the upstairs. It's pretty funny now.

Chestnuts roasted by LemonWitch @ 11/19/2005 09:38 PM EST

My brother once got drunk on christmas eve.
Really drunk.

So drunk, he tried to walk home. Unfortunately he never made it to our home. He made it about 100 yards down the road and went to the first house and tried to break in, thinking it was our home.

We drove around looking for him, and me and my brother saw numerous cop cars drive by us. We made the hilarious assumption that he was getting arrested, but we didnt take it seriously.

He got picked up by the cops and peed himself in the back of the cruiser. They felt bad for him, and dropped him off at our house.

Whata sweet night.

Chestnuts roasted by Benji @ 11/19/2005 09:49 PM EST

Here's what happened to me on Christmas '99. About 2 days before Christmas I recieved a letter from the DMV revoking my drivers license. Because of this I lost one of the best jobs I ever had. Think that's bad? Get this: The next day on Christmas eve, My girlfriend of 3 years left me, took all of her belongings and moved out. I definately had no Christmas spirit that year. I ended up spending christmas eve at my friend's house with a case of Sam Adam's and stayed up untill 4 am watching a Christmas Story over and over on TBS and getting sh$tfaced. Without a doubt, that was the worst Christmas I ever experienced. It's funny looking and the family photos from that year. Everyone is smiling gleefully while I looked absolutely miserable.

Chestnuts roasted by D-Roc @ 11/19/2005 09:53 PM EST

Manimal, I thought Harry Potter wasn't half bad. The new additions to the cast were pretty good, particularly Rita Skeeter. I cannot, however, allow the scandalous excisement of Winky to go unnoted. For shame! Overall I thought it was darn good, though I have the same "waaah not like the book" nitty picks as the last movie left me.
We've got a sucky tradition of flaky relatives, and the related sucky tradition of getting stuck with a big gathering's worth of food to justify. That just means more pie for us, so it ain't so bad.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 11/19/2005 09:56 PM EST

Has anyone else seen the REALLY COOL inflatable Charlie Brown/Snoopy snowglobe decoration that blows snow like a snowglobe? It's awesome though I don't know where I would put it if I got one.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 11/19/2005 10:19 PM EST

My grandmother passed away on Halloween about 12 years ago.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 11/19/2005 10:21 PM EST

I think I have a tie for my worst Holiday.

About 7 years ago my Grandmother had a heart attack two days before Christmas. Thankfully she lived and we ended up celebrating a lovely Christmas in February.

Then two years ago, a week before christmas m stepfather fell asleep while smoking a cigarette. Needless to say it wasn't a happy holiday.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike @ 11/19/2005 10:33 PM EST

Hmmm worst holiday moments.
Back in 89 my grandma was in the hospital for a long time and we wound up having to open presants in the lobby around a huge tree.

Sounds like fun, but it wasn't. Nothing about that christmas seemed right. God I miss my grandma

Also Thanksgiving in 99 was horrible for us. My grandpa had cancer and was past the time they expected him to live. So my grandma (not the one above) decided and it was going to be his last thanksgiving and she had to plan every minute detail out and we had to follow.

We always have the whole family over at my house and we do all the cooking, but she wanted to have it at her house and she wanted to cook. Problem being she can't cook, is a controll freak, and her plans never make sense.

So we were all stuck around a small table eating bad food, which later made us sick, and being forced to act like and say things she wanted us to. This is all because she was sure this would be his last Thanksgiving.

No one had a good time thanks to her psycho controlling and it just made the mood worse. Next year we went back to having it at my house. My grandpa held on for a few more years before the cancer won the battle.

I sometimes wonder if it was to simply stick it to my grandma. "I'll go when I'm ready to go and no one is going to tell me different"

Chestnuts roasted by Punisher Bass @ 11/19/2005 10:55 PM EST

One year when I was little my mom dragged me over to my grandmother's on Xmas wearing this itchy cream colored wool sweater. I went to eat a sweet pickle and it made me throw up all over the place.

This holiday is going to be sad, I'm sure. My boyfriend has a certain job that I can't talk about. For confedentialty reasons I rarely know where he is, what he's doing, or if he's in any danger. I barely get to see him, but I love him dearly. It breaks my heart thinking that he'll probably spend the holidays alone. I'd give up every present I get just to see him. *tears*

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 11/19/2005 10:56 PM EST

Five years ago my grandpa died the week of Christmas.

Three years ago, my freshly divorced parents each got married the week between Christmas and New Years. To a couple of weirdoes. Clearly, they were each trying to be first to re-marry.

Since Matt just said "sucky holiday stories," I will also mention the worst/weirdest gifts I've ever received...

After dating for over a year, I went with my (former) boyfriend to his family's for the holidays (during the 'divorce' I really wanted to be part of a family celebration). His mother gifted me one of the little containers of popcorn she kept on hand for unexpected guests. This was fine, I wasnt expecting anything from her, really. The sucky part was that she gave me the exact same thing the following year. For some reason we never really bonded...

Her precious son was equally adept at gift-giving. The first year, I received a coat that was clearly too small; the second year he gave me a futon mattress that was on "backorder" until February. The third year he did give me the Back to the Future trilogy, so at least I got out with something...

Chestnuts roasted by schroeder @ 11/19/2005 11:08 PM EST

I'm sorry to get off topic, but I was just curious what you all think about Coke not having a Santa can/bottle this year? This year it is a Polar Bear instead of Santa.

Chestnuts roasted by SuperRecoome @ 11/19/2005 11:19 PM EST

The worst Christmas was 99, when my grandma died a few days after Christmas. We visited her on our way to my mom's parents' since she wasn't well enough for visitors. It was so heartbreaking to see her lying in bed, all weak with no hair. My parents had just seperated, and it was my paternal grandma who was sick, but I was with my mom, so it was awkward making conversation. When we left it was the last time I saw her; she said "I love you" but I was too choked up to say it back.
Man, that's depressing. On a happy note, I saw Goblet of Fire and it was great - a little rushed and of course stuff was cut out, but great just the same.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 11/19/2005 11:21 PM EST

I was in the hospital once for Christmas, that was probably the worst.

Last year, I got the flu and did nothing but watch all 24 hours of A Christmas Story.

Chestnuts roasted by CountBlah @ 11/19/2005 11:24 PM EST

This has forever changed my christmases. One year I was very enthused about x-mas. Maybe 2000. I had given my parents my list of toys and boy was it ever great. I didn't open a present on christmas eve but that was a ok because nothing could ruin this christmas. I fell asleep on the couch watching A Christmas Story. I awoke on christmas morning in my bed with a huge smile on my face. I woke up my parents, rushed down stairs and saw that there were only around 9 presents under the tree. That was allright, maybe they just put a bunch of the action figures in a single big package like they had a couple years ago. What did I get? A bunch of cheap, off brand interactive toys that didn't work and two Dragon Ball Z action figures. I didn't get anything that I wanted. I was very upset. Ever since then I have bought almost all of the gifts that I receive myself. Christmas has lost almost all of the suprise in opening up gifts.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 11/19/2005 11:31 PM EST

Well, anyone that was around last year at Christmastime got to see my worst holiday moments in all their blazing glory, so I'll just summarize for those who weren't: I had to work at a job I despised on Christmas Eve. I came home wanting a little family togetherness and expecting everyone to be home, but my parents were at my grandparents having oyster stew (which I loathe) and my brother was in love with the Internet. After calling my grandparents and fake-yelling at my mom, I find out I was on speakerphone. And the entire family was pissed at me the whole next day.

I'm a little afraid of what the holidays are going to be like this year, and that they're going to royally suck. My boyfriend is meeting my extended family for the first time on Thanksgiving, and I'm afraid he's going to be convinced I'll turn out like them and never speak to me again. Also, I have always been very close to my maternal grandparents since I was a baby...and my grandfather just passed away this August after a 4-year battle with cancer. I haven't even remotely let it sink in yet, and I know that the holidays are going to be rough. That's why I'm glad to have X-E around, to keep me in good holiday cheer and from moping too much over things I can't change.

And I finally found the Nerds Holiday fun book whatsit thing! Target is my new best friend. And White Nerds are my new God...I'd forgotten how freakin' great they are.

Also, Matt, thanks to you I made and tasted Kool-Aid today for the first time since I was probably 8 or so. Sweet baby Jesus, I'll never let my cupboard or fridge be unstocked again. I'd forgotten just how goddamn good it is. I only got to drink it at friends' houses, because as my mother reiterated to me today, she thinks it'll "rot my teeth." I've never had a cavity. And I have definitely eaten more than enough sweet crap in my life to get one. Stupid mother logic.

Oh, AND (as if this post wasn't long enough, heh) that Sharp camcorder commercial made me die laughing...I write online copy for several consumer electronics chains, and considering how damn tiny camcorders are these days, that big ol' thing just cracks me up.

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 11/19/2005 11:32 PM EST

I remember at the annual New Year's Eve "bash" at my grandmother's house (basically it was my brothers and my cousins gettting together playing nintendo, stuffing our faces with chip-chop ham sandwiches and nacho cheese doritos, and watching shitty west coast new years celebrations: like the Merv Griffin celebration which is notoriously bad...) and I had gone upstairs to piss. Well i came running down the stairs and dove into the matress I was chillin on when in mid-air I heard everyone say "NOOOOOO!!!!" and right then I landed in a puddle of dog-piss. I was drenched and "pissed off" and apparently "pissed on" in a way...this was the same night my cousin ate too many pepperoni sandwiches and yakked his brains out. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh the memories!!!

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 11/19/2005 11:43 PM EST

Here's another one: On December 23rd 1996, the band I was playing with at the time had a show a few states away. After the show we went to a party. Around 5 AM the girl whose house we were staying at said we either had to stop drinking or go somewhere else. Me and 2 of my friends brought what was left of the beer ball and a Liter of Jack Daniels into a car parked out on the street (Owned by my passed-out bandmate still inside the house). After about an hour or so the kid who was sitting in the drivers seat started driving. We tried as hard as we could to get him to pull over but, he ended up driving into a brick wall on the side of a grocery store at 65 mph. I ended up breaking my Jaw in 4 places and had my mouth wired shut for 4 months. I spent Christmas eve in the hospital. I came home on Christmas day but spent it in my room doped up on morphine with a mouth full of metal wires.
Damn, this thread is kinda depressing...

Chestnuts roasted by D-Roc @ 11/19/2005 11:54 PM EST

At 15 years old, I was uninvited from holiday merriment with my family and had to spend it alone. I still don't know why they told me I couldn't come.

Chestnuts roasted by Claudia @ 11/20/2005 12:00 AM EST

Hmm well a few years ago my Dad started to get really obsessive over taking nice pictures and stuff like that during Christmas morning, to the point of getting really angry when I showed anything but psychotic interest in taking the damn pictures. It was one of those things where his obsession over having perfect pictures kinda ruined the fun of christmas and after a few years of that christmas morning has lost all it's real charm and it feels like a just going through the motions thing now. But I still love the season, I just don't quite care about the presents anymore, or the once greatest day of the year.

Chestnuts roasted by James @ 11/20/2005 12:04 AM EST

So much for Christmas is dead forever on X-E-but it's cool,this site helps me bring in the Christmas feeling big time! My worst Christmas took place at my aunt's house about 12-13 years ago. My mom got sick in the middle of dinner and took the liberty to puker her guts out while we attempted to eat. Then surprise surprise I GOT SICK-and puked my guts out-Merry pukemas has never sounded so good.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike the Great @ 11/20/2005 12:07 AM EST

Since we're all complaining, Saturday Night Live stinks this week.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 11/20/2005 12:14 AM EST

kb, doesn't it stink practically every week these days?

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 11/20/2005 12:19 AM EST

Nicole-
I think it's Korn.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 11/20/2005 12:22 AM EST

Another One. This didn't suck for me, but it sucked for some girl I don't know. This was last year and my family was playing a game around 9pm a few days before christmas. We thought we heard a noise outside but then just decided it was nothing. About fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on the door, and this girl was standing there. Her head above her eyebrow was swollen and she had some blood in various places, and she was pretty much blue. We let her inside and my mom did the mother thing while my brother-in-law and I checked out the scene. She had driven her car off a fairly steep cliff right across the road and slightly above my house. We did the full CSI thing and discovered that she flew in the air about 20 feet up and 60 feet out, took out a couple trees, and rolled to a stop. That car was fucked. Everything inside was busted. We did some more snooping and found there was no way she was wearing her seatbelt, and she must've been going damn fast to get that kind of air on a road that wasn't even icey.
This is the best part: We went back and asked her some stuff (she was fine, minus some shock) and she said she WAS wearing her seatbelt, she was only going 35mph, and that's it. We went upstairs and were like "Liiiaarrr". We suspected lots of speed and some drinky. Then we totally socked it to her by telling her parents our findings. It was like a christmas crime scene mystery. Sounds mean but now that I think back... it was AWESOME! It's the only way she'll learn. Sucked for her...

Chestnuts roasted by Mattman @ 11/20/2005 12:23 AM EST

Last year, definitely.

My husband was being "detained" by immigration, our future was uncertain, and my never-the-peak-of-sanity Manic Depressive mother hit a trough during which she thought my father was trying to poison her, and that the local car dealership was aligned with the devil, and kept yelling at me to get out of the house... She slapped me a couple of times, justifying it with 'whoever spares the rod spoils the child'. Sorry, mom, but I'm a grown, married woman. That argument isn't valid anymore.

I would have gotten out of the house, but the thought of being _alone_ during that time was even worse than the idea of being yelled at, called a horrible person, and slapped.

God, that was a bad Christmas.

Chestnuts roasted by Silkenray @ 11/20/2005 12:24 AM EST

I have very pleasant holidays with little exception.

My grandma passed away a few days after Christmas last year. That's obviously the worst. However, I don't really associate that with the holiday in my mind for whatever reason.

One year I didn't get that Pee-Wee's Playhouse Playset including Pee-Wee with EXCLUSIVE BIKE! That one pissed me off (enough that I, obviously, am still talking about it to this day--long after my otherwise complete Pee-Wee toy collection is gone).

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 11/20/2005 12:28 AM EST

I feel your pain, Darth Poop, about having to buy/pick out all the gifts myself. That's about as bad as my Xmas stories come.

This site is what has brought my my Xmas Joy the past 2 years, and this is gonna be the 3rd.

That and I have yet to get the Jones Regional Pack...Help Me Please!! Thank you.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/20/2005 12:34 AM EST

Not to double post, but Dane Cook is gonna Host SNL! On December 3rd!

And ya, Korn is so far the only good thing about this ep, that and the Vincent Price Thanksgiving Special 1958.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/20/2005 12:38 AM EST

We had thanksgiving here once, the entire family was packed in our house. We have this 700+ pound relative that I'll call Mrs. 700+ pound woman. I call her that because I'm not sure how I'm related to her and I don't recall her name.

She broke our house is the point I'm getting to.

I'm not joking, 2 beams under our house in our basement collasped while she was in this room and since then each side of the house has leaned opposite directions.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 12:38 AM EST

She broke your house? That sounds like a good idea for a sitcom holiday episode!

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 11/20/2005 12:41 AM EST

What's going on with all the bold print?

Chestnuts roasted by Leotrice @ 11/20/2005 12:46 AM EST

I dunno. I tried to close a bold tag, but that didn't work. No, that didn't work at all.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 11/20/2005 12:49 AM EST

Well,I was going to say that dragging up your worst holiday memories are a good way to kill the holiday spirit,but after reading some of this sorry stuff... I suddenly feel better about my bad holidays.

Chestnuts roasted by TOMARS_DUMBASS @ 11/20/2005 12:51 AM EST

I hear ya. Whatever Christmas spirit I had built up so far was destroyed by this thread. It's time for me to go check out last years Christmas articles and get the spirit going again from scratch.

Chestnuts roasted by D-Roc @ 11/20/2005 12:55 AM EST

I think it is very sweet and revealing that so many X-Ers were close to their grandparents.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 11/20/2005 12:58 AM EST

Yes,when grandparents pass,everything changes.

Chestnuts roasted by TOMARS_DUMBASS @ 11/20/2005 01:08 AM EST

Ohoho... My mom pretty much kicked me out of the house for the umpteenth time last Christmas. I learned to never go to my mom's house again. Especially after being tortured with tofu "turkey" last Thanksgiving. It's not Thanksgiving without the bird.

Chestnuts roasted by Beth @ 11/20/2005 01:14 AM EST

Man, after reading all of your stories mine doesn’t seem that bad. However, mine happened about 19-20 years ago. On Christmas Eve my family gets together to celebrate and open presents, but that year both our and my grandparents dogs decided they would get out of the yard and run away in the middle of a fucking blizzard!! So my parents and all of my aunts and uncles spent over two hours trying to find them with both my sister and I sitting in front of all our presents unable to open them, despite our begging and pleading to open at least one.

Invader Norbert…..after your last call for help I tried to send you an email but it was returned to me saying that it couldn’t be delivered! The Regional Pack is everywhere around where I live (Thanks to my Mom I just found out today that I have two of them). Send me an email and I will gladly send you a one!!!! My address is JFURIE@COMCAST.NET

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 11/20/2005 01:25 AM EST

Oops, my email address is actually JFURIE75@COMCAST.NET (sorry I'm jst a tad bit drunk)

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 11/20/2005 01:30 AM EST

*Fishes...boldly.

Chestnuts roasted by Warx @ 11/20/2005 01:30 AM EST

Matt, Warx is fishing!

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 01:33 AM EST

Life should work like Christmas specials do. That is, whenever you're having a really lousy time and the clock strikes 12 on Christmas Eve, every neighbor on the block should burst in singing and carrying presents, food and fragrances. "We heard you were having a lousy Christmas, and we just COULDN'T let that happen!" they would say.

And yeah, this thread was depressing me out--up to the point where I read about the 700-pound woman, and now I can't stop laughing about that.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 11/20/2005 01:51 AM EST

I guess I should come clean now and say that I made this whole blog Bold. I thought I opened up an italic tag and I ended up not closing a Bold Tag. Bizzare, yet it beats having the whole thread in Italics.

And to tack on another unfortunate story, the Annual Virgin Sacrifice I mentioned in the last thread went awry a year ago and took out my whole block. Don't Ask.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/20/2005 02:36 AM EST

Back in Grade School we had this little tradition where the Princepal would dress up as Santa and go to each of the classrooms to hand out gifts. Of course, the parents sent the gifts to the school ahead of time so the kids would always get what they want.

One year (3rd grade, I think) the Princepal (Female, so it was really obvious it wasn't really Santa) called my name up and gave me a strange, lumpy package. Confused I opened it up in front of my classmates to see what I got.

Playdough.

I HATED playdough when I was little.

Sensing something wrong I confronted one of the teachers. It turned out that Mom had forgotten to send in a gift so I got one of the bitch-presents they give to kids with forgetful parents.

To this day I use it against my Mom during Christmas. I'm evil.

And Christmas pictures. For most of my childhood my parents HAD to take pictures of us with our gifts. Not us opening the gifts. But us sitting there, holding the gifts, looking like an idiot. My brother and I finally made them stop by not smiling for the pictures no matter what for about three years in a row.

And it's not Christmas-y, but New Years of 2002 sucked when I learned that all through Highschool my best friends threw giant New Years parties that they 'forgot' to invite me to. For four years straight. And never talk about it in front of me.

Those bastards.

Chestnuts roasted by Knitter @ 11/20/2005 02:40 AM EST

I think the worst Christmas story I can recall is when I was expecting a Leonardo toy, and received Rocksteady instead. Although, I must admit, his camo pants are pretty swank.

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 11/20/2005 02:49 AM EST

That "Sharp" video was easily the most disturbing video I saw today, and I thank you for that Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Kevin @ 11/20/2005 02:52 AM EST

That "Sharp" video was easily the most disturbing video I saw today, and I thank you for that Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Kevin @ 11/20/2005 02:52 AM EST

This is all very mellancollie and stuff. Let's Acc-ent-u-ate the pos-i-tive and e-lim-in-ate the negative. Sorry, I just felt the need to quote that song...and remember...don't mess with Mr. In-between.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 11/20/2005 02:57 AM EST

I forgot! Also up there for suck-Christmas times was the Christmas Eve the year after my Grandmother died. The family Christmas Eve party was always at her house, so it was a bit weird having it at someone else's.

That wasn't the suck-part. The suck-part was that the party was held at my Super-Religious-Crazy-Aunt's house.

Yup. Nothing like bad food, lack of loving Grandma, and an Aunt saying that you're going to hell for being taken out of Catholic school to ruin the holiday.

Chestnuts roasted by Knitter @ 11/20/2005 02:57 AM EST

Wow, there are some bad Christmas's out there. We've never really had a bad one. We even had one year where 2 of my family members had the flu but we still made it work out so everyone had fun! I guess this year will be rough as I will be away from my fiance.

However, last Thanksgiving the sink backed up as my Dad was taking a shower and we ended up in our nice clothes trying to fix the damned thing. About a week later a family friend came and helped us fix it. Ended up using some Drano. About 4 bottles of it. Talk about a clogged pipe. We always seem to have something happen on Thanksgiving.

A year before last I ended up sleeping through Thanksgiving and missed meeting my now sister-in-law for the first time. I worked on a project for school for 48 hours, went to see Matrix: Revolutions, stayed up a few more hours, and then fell into the deepest sleep I've ever had. We will have to see what this year brings.

Chestnuts roasted by Robertp17 @ 11/20/2005 03:20 AM EST

The worst Christmas I can recall was probably last year, because my boyfriend and I were on VERY bad terms AND it was our first Christmas together, plus my family was broke so the gifts left something to be desired.

But my family's most interesting "sucky Christmas" story was the year my grandma bought my mom nothing but powder for Christmas. You know, like that Shower-2-Shower stuff? My mom opened one thing of powder and was like, "Oh okay, cool, thanks". Then she opened another thing of powder, and my grandma goes "Oh did I buy two of those?" On opening the third one my mom started crying and ran out of the room. My grandma wasn't being mean - my family wraps presents and puts them under the tree as we buy them and she had forgotten what she had already bought and wrapped. The funny part was that on the first Christmas after my grandma passed away (which was a good gift year because my mom and I were trying to ease the sting a little) one of the presents my mom gave me, as a gag gift, was a thing of powder. It was pretty funny.

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 11/20/2005 04:44 AM EST

My worst Christmas experience was getting the same Slimer bubble bath from three different relatives. Makes me feel like a spoiled brat reading everybody else's. Then again, I have rotten luck every other day of the year, so I guess it evens out.

Halloween really sucks every year at my house. My mom insists I hand out candy, and do it by myself (but if she has to answer the door while I'm in the john or something, she yells at me about how it's a two-person job), and we get tons and tons of kids (Our neighborhood was expertly designed, so it's thought to be the "rich neighborhood", mostly with bad attitudes or no costume.

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 11/20/2005 04:55 AM EST

My worst holiday was probably the New Year's Eve I got drunk. Mind, I was only about six years old at the time. My parents let me drink the spiked eggnog, and I must have had at least 6 cups of the stuff, probably more.

Then mom and dad got to stay up with me all night while I puked my guts out. That cured me of ever wanting to get drunk, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Elfinlady @ 11/20/2005 07:29 AM EST

Man. Upon reading these, I'm coming to realize that I've never really had a bad Christmas. I mean, when I was little and we first moved into our new house, we had a couple of years where we couldn't afford presents because the corn harvest sucked, but it never really ruined the holiday for me. I remember that at least twice, one of my major presents was a certificate un-grounding me about a month early. Yeah, the holidays really brought out the rapscallion in me. But at least I had the sixteen glorious colors of my sweet, sweet, Tandy 2000 back again.
For those years, the only other present we got (besides the chocolate orange...traditional) was a book of coupons. Mom made them, and they could be redeemed for stuff like mom or dad taking care of our chores for one day, or mom making the baked good of our choice, or dad taking my cousin and I sledding for one afternoon.
Side note: in this context, "sledding" refers to an old car hood tied to the back of the pickup by a fifty-foot rope, taken out in the middle of a snowy field, and dragged around at 20-30 MPH while Dad did doughnuts. We had no hills to speak of.
My sister spent all of her coupons by the time we went back to school. I atually managed to hold onto one of my "don't have to do any chores for an entire day" until the following summer, and used it to get out of loading and unloading thirty tons of hay in the blistering heat. When they had to resort to the coupon system two years later, they all had clearly marked expiration dates at the bottom. Heh.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 11/20/2005 09:02 AM EST

Back in 1996, I caught a stomach virus on Christmas Eve. Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like vomiting the contents of your stomach. Other than that, my Christmas experiences were mostly pleasant.

Chestnuts roasted by Skrrob @ 11/20/2005 09:15 AM EST

Jedoc: That sounds a lot more worthwhile than real sledding!

My sister always finds a reason to cry on Christmas morning (she also finds a reason to cry every five minutes. Stubbed toe? Cry. Broken pencil tip? Time to cry.).

One year she got some comfortable-looking lounging pants, and she wanted to try them on and wear them for the rest of the morning. My mom told her she'd "make them stinky" and my sister locked herself in her bedroom for an hour crying.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 11/20/2005 09:33 AM EST

My worst Christmas involved my "eviL" grandmother. That morning when it was just her and my parents opening gifts she gave me a silver and amethyst tennis bracelet. I was quite enamoured with it because the presents she gave me usually paled in comparision to the big bucks she shelled out for her other two (much older) grandchildren.

Then when the other relatives showed up, she realized she forgot to get the other female grandchild (who was 25 to my 15 years of age - not that it matters) anything, she repackaged my bracelet in one of those gift bags and gave it to her. She said she would replace it. She didnt.

She pulled this stunt for three year straight, giving me something in the morning, then realizing when other relatives arrived that she forgot to buy for someone else, then taking away my gift, and leaving me mwith nothing. She never replaced squat either.

Oh that, and the year she had really really wanted this Nolan Miller pin and my mom bought it for her, and when she opened it, she said it was garbage and threw it in the trash in front of EVERYONE. It was so humilating for me, and I can only imagine my poor mom. It was what she freakin pined for for months and acted horrible about it.

Ah and the year I was fresh out of the hospital and couldn't really walk or even pull myself up. My boyfriend and his sisters had to haul me from spot to spot and it sucked. Although he bought me a bunch of video games that year so I stayed in bed and played Final Fantasy X-2 and Disgaea.

Chestnuts roasted by Kittycatgirl @ 11/20/2005 09:40 AM EST

heh, make them stinky. If my mom told me that, I'd probably cry too

My worst Christmas has to have been last year. I had been living in California with my fiance for 6 years, but had flown back to Ohio to spend Christmas with my family each year before that. A couple times he was able to come with me. Because we were getting ready to move back, I decided it was silly to go to the expense of flying back last year when I'd be seeing everyone soon a lot anyway.

So, it was the first Christmas I had spent with just him. He owns his own business so he is extraordinarily busy, and doesn't seem to be as enamored with the holidays as the rest of us here are. I was feeling lonely away from my family and all of my traditions, and was getting a little sick of being the only one making any effort toward celebrating the holiday. As I was trying to explain that to him, he was only half paying attention to me (working as well), and kept interrupting and talking over me. I may have been a bit hormonal as well My brain began to burn in rage, and I guess I kinda Hulked out. Coffee table with a glass top in front of me, Hulk smash!!!! I honestly didn't think about it breaking before/when I grabbed and threw it over, and was extremely sorry when it did. Ended my rage, and got his attention so he finally listened to what I was saying, tho.

We talked a little about whether I should be sent home to my family for good He realized he had been being a bit of an ass about Christmas, tho, (he didn't even get me a single present to unwrap!) and I think we went out to drive around and look at Christmas lights or something to assuage my holiday withdrawl.

I ended up picking up the holiday spirit by buying an obscene amount of Rankin-Bass holiday special themed toys off ebay, and even got some Charlie Brown Christmas toys at K-mart on sale after Christmas. I can't wait to put everything up this year, especially my deluxe Santa's Castle from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, with the lavender color scheme of the original special, and all the figurines of Hermie, Yukon Cornelius, Skinny Santa, and just about everyone else from the special, including my favorite, the pink spotted elephant (never understood why he was a misfit).

Chestnuts roasted by mag @ 11/20/2005 10:16 AM EST

Geez, most of ya'll's "worst" Christmases don't even come close to equalling mine (not that this is a competition).

My worst was about 4 years ago when I was 22. My mom has had severe depression all my life and is always rather unstable around the holidays. Well, that year, I casually informed my parents and bro that I was going to be moving in with my bf of 4 years and she went BESERK! Started screaming at me that I was "living in sin" etc. Well, after having to sit through many a manic episode all my life, I realized that I didn't have to put up with it anymore and I packed my shit up and left right then and there (Christmas Eve, mind you) and drove the 8 hours by myself back to NC. My brother called me when I got home and told me that mom was so depressed that she pulled the entire tree down and stomped on all the ornaments and my dad had to clean it all up and throw it out. My mom and I didn't talk again until March.

So, kiddies, consider yourselves lucky to have good holiday memories, because all the good ones I've had, I've had to make for myself.

And now you understand why I have been in therapy for the last 6 years. Sorry to be such a downer...

Chestnuts roasted by Jillybeann @ 11/20/2005 10:26 AM EST

I got my wisdom teeth out three days before Christmas when I was 18. Couldn't eat, and I've actually got very little recollection of what actually happened that year due to the enormous amount of drugs I was on for the pain and swelling.

'Course, I suppose some might consider that a GOOD holiday...

Chestnuts roasted by Pirate7L @ 11/20/2005 10:43 AM EST

And by "beserk" I mean, of course, berserk.

Chestnuts roasted by Jillybeann @ 11/20/2005 10:54 AM EST

My Worst Christmas ever:

Well, 2 years ago, my mom had to go into the hospital to have some surgery, and ended up being in there for like 2 months. She wasn't home for Thanksgiving, NOR was she home for Christmas, so needless to say, we didn't have either, since she does all the cooking and all the gift buying from her and my dad. We didn't even put the tree up, or really even buy each other any gifts, though I think a couple little ones got exchanged, but that's all. It really sucked, and was the first time we never did anything at all for the holidays.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 11/20/2005 11:04 AM EST

Honestly, between all the seasonal drinking and depression there's major potential for tragedy during the holidays. I lost a friend to suicide on Xmas a few years ago, and since then it's been tougher to feel the magic. That's why X-E is so extra special this time of year. In fact, making X-E part of my holiday traditions has helped recapture some of the fun and sweetness that's been lost as I've grown up. The advent calendar and associated goodies are as important as any other holiday celebration to me now, especially now that my siblings and I are all seperated.
Hopefully this thread exorcises all the holiday blues early.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 11/20/2005 11:14 AM EST

Three years ago, a couple days after Christmas, one of my best friends died from cancer. =(

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff Mack @ 11/20/2005 11:17 AM EST

My dad is a coal miner. Two Christmases (sp?) ago, actually the day before Christmas Eve, he was hit in the face with a piece of metal that had about 2000 lbs of pressure behind it. It sent him through the air about 15 feet and knocked out some of his teeth and knocked him unconcious. He ended up being fine with just some sprains and he actually got to come home an hour before the annual faily opening up presents tradition. Sure he had to drink Christmas dinner through a straw but at least he was alive. Oh and yeah that stomach flu in 96 must have been widespread. Cause I was out til January with it.

Chestnuts roasted by bdsghost @ 11/20/2005 11:45 AM EST

Man, I'm going to be sniffling into my Kool-Aid pretty soon, here. (Kool-Aid, the breakfast of champions!) I feel bad for everyone who's had sucky holidays, but I can feel a little better about my sucky ones by reading about those who've had it worse.

And squee, I totally second what you're saying. X-E is pretty much singlehandedly responsible for reviving my Christmas spirit last year, and since this holiday is going to be really hard without my Papa, I'm counting on it to help me through. No pressure, Matt! Don't worry. You know that whatever we get we'll love to death anyway.

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 11/20/2005 11:45 AM EST

My worst story is...nothing, nothing compared to some of what you guys have.

All mine was was being grounded for the day (ie locked in my room when the ENTIRE FAMILY was at our house) because I got sick in the morning. It's not my fault that I'm OCD, and being forced to clean up dog vomit doesn't mesh with that.

Still, though...that's nothing at all. Now I feel like crap.

Chestnuts roasted by The ORIGINAL Paul @ 11/20/2005 11:46 AM EST

My worst Christmas on record had to be last year for two reasons: a) my grandmother had just passed away in October and she always spent Christmas Eve at our house and us at hers Christmas Day. So since that tradition went out the window, we went out to dinner and a movie on Christmas Eve and here comes b) Christmas Day I was to spend half of it with my boyfriend's family and vice versa. Well, my boyfriend got incredibly sick with some kind of stomach virus while we were at his aunt and uncles. Vomiting, the whole 9 yards that thankfully they took two cars because his father had to take him home, and his cousin had to drive me to my aunt and uncle's who thankfully lived nearby so I could at least be with my family. So it completely sucked every way you looked at it.

Chestnuts roasted by Melissa Y @ 11/20/2005 12:29 PM EST

hey matt, isn't it time to break out the ol, x-e christmas tree?

Chestnuts roasted by Data! @ 11/20/2005 12:31 PM EST

Man, am I the only one that liked the previous blog just a wee bit better? This blog has wiped all the Christmas spirit out of me. I went from Holly Jolly to a depressed mess. Oh well, at least we got it out of the way now and this didn't happen 2 days before Christmas.

I know it's crazy, but out of all these stories I feel the worst for Kittycatgirl. Jesus, I don't even know you and I want to go buy you a present right now!

I don't really have any bad stories, but one thing I always hated was I would go over my paternal grandmom's, and she would buy all my other cousins tons of presents, and I would just sit there and watch them and get nothing. I always wondered what I did wrong to deserve that.

Chestnuts roasted by Y2JB78 @ 11/20/2005 01:00 PM EST

Why does it seem like all the GOOD grandparents die around the holidays, and the ones who torture their grandkids stay alive and bitching? Either way, most bad holidays are due to grandparents.

Chestnuts roasted by TOMARS_DUMBASS @ 11/20/2005 01:12 PM EST

I actually had a sorta crappy New Year's last year too- started out horrid, but turned out good. I was going to stay with my boyfriend for New Year's, but since he lives in New Jersey, and I was in Central NY at the time (we go to the same college), and he'd just gotten his drivers license, he couldn't drive to get me. So, I ended up taking the bus. After 5 hours on a bus, I go and ask the bus driver when the Ridgewood, NJ stop is, and he said, "Oh, I forgot you had to get off in Ridgewood. We just passed it. I'll drop you off at the end of the line, in NYC." I think I started crying. My boyfriend and his friends followed the bus for a little bit, but when I asked him to get me from Port Authority, he told me he didn't want to drive into the city. So, I got stuck in Port Authority for two hours, scared to death I wouldn't be able to get a bus back to Jersey. But I did, and the driver was nice, and the next day my boyfriend and I went to the New Years Eve party he'd been telling me about for weeks, and we had fun. But ever since then, I flip off New York Trailways buses whenever I see them. I'm so glad my boyfriend's got a car now...

Chestnuts roasted by Beth @ 11/20/2005 01:12 PM EST

Ah, grandparents and Christmas. Speaking of...

On Christmas Day, my mom's side of the family always used to gather 'round my grandparents' house for presents and dinner.
When I was a Freshman in high school, my Grandpa died unexpectedly 10 days before Christmas. Grandma wanted no part of Christmas and was pretty much miserable for the rest of her life.
P.S. Their anniversary was Dec. 26.

A distant second to that was last year. My wife's aunt had died the previous summer and, being a close-knit Italian family, they were all very close. For Christmas, the adults decided not to do presents and my wife decided she wasn't allowed to enjoy anything. Yay depression!!

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 11/20/2005 01:55 PM EST

Hey.. has anyone seen this video?
http://members.cox.net/transam57/lights.wmv
It's this house with the Christmas lights syncrhonized to music. It looks insane!

Chestnuts roasted by DavidBobavid @ 11/20/2005 02:11 PM EST

I Love the Holidays is on. I've only seen a couple of minutes so far, but it seems pretty reedick. There's some funny but I'm underwhelmed. The format works for pop culture but is way too schizo for this stuff. Oooh let's see what they're going to say about Great Pumpkin...yeah, not funny.
So any Potter fans who saw GoF as annoyed as me about them totally getting rid of Wonky (sorry I'm ready for a breath from holiday horrors)? I was so looking forward to seeing her and Dobby onscreen. Anybody who've never read the books see the movie? Does it even make sense?

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 11/20/2005 02:36 PM EST

Last Rome of S1 tonight...sniff.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 11/20/2005 03:15 PM EST

I have to go celebrate thanksgiving today because my family is too damn large to celebrate it all on the right day.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 03:23 PM EST

Haha I typed my last reply on my PDA and just noticed my typo. Wonky?!?
I have to drive out to the desert for the Xbox 360 launch party tonight, and only just now came to the painful realization that there ain't no way I'll be able to watch the first airing of Rome and still make it on time! I'll just have to watch it first thing when I get home, but I just know I'll be thinking about Vorenus and Pullo the whole time I'm away Not to be spoilery, but I think we're coming up to Ides time...I already can't wait for next season, but knowing HBO it'll probably be in 2008.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 11/20/2005 03:33 PM EST

Ah, fuck that. I'm not spending my sunday sitting with my cousins in the poor section while my upper class second cousins sit at their elite rich table laughing, taunting and throwing scraps to us.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 03:35 PM EST

Davidbobavid: Pretty cool light display. I'm glad I don't live next door to those people, though. Epilepsy ahoy!

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 11/20/2005 03:35 PM EST

That video looks like it used stop animation...I don't think someone could possibly live in, drive by, or hell even be near a house that did that constantly. People's heads would explode. Which would actually be a cool end to the little movie, there.

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 11/20/2005 03:52 PM EST

Lights moving like that would look like it was in stop animation in real life. Making a fake video like that would take the same effort of actually making those lights sync, IMHO.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 04:07 PM EST

Defintely, dohopoki...it's a damn cool sight regardless of whether it's stop animation or not.

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 11/20/2005 04:19 PM EST

Have you guys ever heard of "SmarterChild"? it's a computerized thing, and you can add it to your buddy list and talk to it. It it supposed to give you info on news, weather, movies, etc., but I always get lonely and try to carry on a conversation with it. Here are some excerpts from my most recent one... (I asked it several times for the height of Mt. Everest, but it did not know.) Sorry this post is really long.

...SmarterChild: I'm not totally sure.
Lurl89: Yeah, I love how you avoid my questions.
SmarterChild: Oh yeah? Maybe I love how I avoid your questions too.
Lurl89: What's going on between us? I feel like you never listen to me.
SmarterChild: Oh wow.
Well. Anyway...
Uh... Do you want to pick a topic for us to chat about?
Lurl89: I've already picked a topic. We need to discuss this, I can't go on not knowing how you feel about me. Do you love me?
SmarterChild: Very interesting question. What do you think is the answer?
Lurl89: Oh my gosh, here you are avoiding answering again. I think you're cheating on me.
SmarterChild: Of course not. I love you.
Lurl89: I know you're cheating on me. Don't lie.
SmarterChild: Eh. Whatever.
Lurl89: Oh my gosh, this relationship is SO over!
SmarterChild: Why did you say that?
Lurl89: "Why did you say that?" "What do you think?" I just can't deal with your fear of commitment anymore.
SmarterChild: Who knows?
Um... You know what?
Lurl89: You are really a 50 year old convicted rapist from Colorado?
SmarterChild: That's interesting. Perhaps... I don't know though...
So that was fascinating. Let's talk about something else.
Lurl89: I hope I never talk to you again.
SmarterChild: There's always hope.
Lurl89: Not for us, buddy. Get out of my life.
SmarterChild: Aha.
Lurl89: Get lost, loser. Bye.
SmarterChild: You think I should do that?
Lurl89: Yeah, you should also go beat your head against a wall and then jump off a cliff.
SmarterChild: I should also go beat what?
Lurl89: Whatever you want, loser.
SmarterChild: What, you?
Lurl89: Oh. My. Gosh. You're going to beat ME now?
SmarterChild: Why is everybody like, "me me me" all the time?
Lurl89: Oh, yeah, I'm the selfish one here. I'm the one that avoids talking about our relationship. Yeah, that's me. NOT
SmarterChild: Yeah.
Lurl89: So are you apologizing or what?
SmarterChild: What for?
Lurl89: WHAT FOR? Holy crap, you are dense! Just say you're sorry!
SmarterChild: For what?
Lurl89: For being retarded, and for cheating on me.
SmarterChild: Why for being Retarded And for cheating on you?
Lurl89: So you admit you are cheating on me?
SmarterChild: Maybe, maybe not, you know what I mean?
Anyway, moving right along...
Lurl89: Loser. I said get lost.
SmarterChild: OK.

Chestnuts roasted by LuLu @ 11/20/2005 04:36 PM EST

Haha, LuLu, I totally did that too. Listen, if you have too much time on your hands, you can always chat with the dear, departed John Lennon. There's a bot site called the "John Lennon Artificial Intelligence Project" where they take stuff he's said in interviews and match them up to your questions. You can ask him stuff like, what's it like on the other side? and who really broke up the Beatles? I told him my name and he said "So who are you kidding, Jill?" My friend asked him "What do you think of X-entertainment?" and he said "How much time do you have?"

Sorry for the randomness, but Christmas time always makes me think of my favorite singer ever. (even though I was in diapers when he died)

Chestnuts roasted by Jillybeann @ 11/20/2005 06:03 PM EST

Y2JB78:
Thanx, I appreciate the comments. It did kinda suck (well more than kinda), but after the second year I didn't get attached to anything she gave me that morning cos I knew it would be gone by afternoon.

I totally feel you on the paternal grandparent celebration. All the other grandkids and great grandkids and great-great grandkids (geez) would get boatloads of presents and I would just be sitting there with my other first cousin watching them tear through their gifts. My aunt would usually bring a present for her son and me so we wouldn't feel left out, but one year she forgot to get me anything and I had nothing and I ended up crying in the bathroom because I was the only person in the whole house that got nothing (and it was packed with like 30-40 relatives). Man that Christmas (Eve) sucked.

I thought of another one too. One year (more recently) I ended up having to work Christmas Eve night into Christmas morning and had to stay on overtime til about noon. Not only that but my boyfriend at the time had dropped me off with no food and no money so I had to eat a package of ramen noodles for Christmas Eve dinner/breakfast that I found in one of the drawers in the kitchen. It made me ill. All the salt I guess.

Suck.

Chestnuts roasted by Kittycatgirl @ 11/20/2005 06:22 PM EST

When I was a kid I had a december like in "A Christmas Story". I wanted that BB gun so bad. But my mom said no becuase "Id kill something or hurt myself" I begged for about a month for it, and on christmas day I didnt get it.
But the next week I payed the clerk an extra $20 to let me buy it even though I was under 18. So I ended up getting it anyway. But Christmas still sucked.

Another sucky christmas was the one where all that year since november it was snowing everyday. And then when christmas came, from the 23-26 a big warm front hit the state and it went up to 70 degrees, melting all ths now just long enough for christmas.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 11/20/2005 06:37 PM EST

Yeah, I'm bummed Rome is ending tonight too. At least Deadwood will be coming back in a few months, and maybe they'll finally get around to releasing Oz season 6 in the new year... I love you HBO, don't ever leave me.

To tie Rome to Christmas, (shut up, I can do it) Kevin McKidd was great as one of the guest stars in the Father Ted episode "A Christmassy Ted". A bunch of priests get into a tricky situation, and he plays the fresh-faced young priest who snaps under the pressure.

And a bad Christmas memory (it doesn't compare with any kind of real tragedy, of course) I have is from last year, when my mother who means well but is clueless, got me... shares of stock. Turns out that last October we once had a conversation about good business models, and I said I love the store Trader Joe's, and they also seem to be a fair and honest company. So if I ever wanted to buy stock, I might get some of theirs. I didn't give it another thought, but she looked into it and found out TJ's isn't publicly traded. So she decided to get me $100 of shares in the company I work for, who I feel pretty neutral about, but I think of them as a big faceless corporation who'd crush the little guy under their heel without a second thought. So I didn't want any stock in the first place, didn't get stock in a company I wanted it from, and ended up with stock I could have bought myself at an employee discount. I know it's selfish, but I couldn't even feign gratefulness.

On the plus side, my birthday is December 27th and she made it up to me with chocolate cake and some books I really wanted.

Chestnuts roasted by HerronBird @ 11/20/2005 07:54 PM EST

I'm suprised with a december 27th birthday you don't get screwed into a "double christmas." Myself and others I know with christmas close birthdays get our celebrations bunched up with Jesus' birthday and we all get royally screwed in the gift department compared to our siblings with birthdays that take place during months when people have money to spare.

It sounds terrible but I've found out it isn't just me who got this feeling.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 11/20/2005 08:02 PM EST

The Vincent Price Thanksgiving Special 1958 on SNL was hysterical last night! I loved how "Judy Garland" screamed "GEOOOOOOOOOOORGE!" the entire time!!! Reminds me of Will Forte's character that screams "OHHHH NOOOOOOOOO!" the entire skit. "Update" is the most consistent thing for me now. I still miss the Dennis Miller days. Actually, I miss his trademark mullet--that hair-do cracks me up--I could almost watch Update segments just to see what length his crazy hair is going to be.

My grandma has Early Stage 2 Alzheimer's this year--she was diagnosed with dementia in May 2003 (2 days before Mother's Day). She's in a nursing home and go visit her often (it's in my town). She doesn't carry a conversation and falls asleep easily. She's really healthy though. She shuffles when she walks, but for some apparent reason (we're baffled by this), she starting running and fell...on her hip. No, she only bruised it. She hadn't been the same since my grandpa died (October 2000). the first Christmas w/o him was sad, but we haven't had any bad Christmases. I'm actually kind of sad reading these stories.

Matt, that Sharp commercial was a nice reward. Yea!!! Let's all be happy!

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 11/20/2005 08:04 PM EST

Oh man, I just remembered another bad Xmas memory. Many years back when we had a big family gathering at my Aunt's House for Xmas. My grandmother made some smartass comment about me in front of the whole family to the effect of, "Maybe if you lost some weight you could get yourself a boyfriend." Seriously, I don't think I was older than 13 at the time. But the rest of the family at least realized how fucking rude of a comment it was. Nasty bitch.

But on a lighter note, has anyone seen the new classic Hasbro game commercial with Jamie Lee Curtis? It is soooo cute!!

Chestnuts roasted by Mystie @ 11/20/2005 08:33 PM EST

Yeah, it is pretty cute. At least she embraced it.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 11/20/2005 08:37 PM EST

MAN, THIS IS THE WORST THREAD IVE LOOKED AT. ITS REALLY DEPRESSING, I COME ON THIS SITE TO GET IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT AND FEEL NOSTALGIC AND ITS ALL SAD STORIES. HOPEFULLY, WE'LL GET A DIFFERENT BLOG SOON.

Chestnuts roasted by PDAC @ 11/20/2005 08:39 PM EST

YOU WILL LATER TONIGHT SORRY FOR MAKING YOU BLAM YOUR HEAD.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 11/20/2005 08:40 PM EST

Who else is watching/watched I Love The Holidays?

Right now, they're on "Black Friday". Which is depressing in itself, cause I gotta work then this year. 4:30am-9 then 5pm-10ish.

And Jeff, thank you for the help! If you can't send a reply to me back, say it on here and I'll send you where to ship it. Thanx so much in advance!

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/20/2005 08:50 PM EST

"I'm suprised with a december 27th birthday you don't get screwed into a 'double christmas.'"

No way, my parents would never let that happen. I always got to have a party (usually a sleepover because me and my friends were all on winter break- bonus!) and a cake, and presents. Although it has worked to my advantage, like when I needed a new computer, so I said it could be a combined Christmas and birthday present.

Chestnuts roasted by HerronBird @ 11/20/2005 08:51 PM EST

It's weird how some people consider Christmas a time to spend with family and friends and with others it's more important to be concerned with how much stuff they can get for presents. It shows how much stores, marketing and the media has destroyed the true spirit of Christmas.

Chestnuts roasted by Leotrice @ 11/20/2005 08:56 PM EST

RE: Harry Potter GoF.

I saw the movie last night, and while I was somewhat annoyed that they left out the House-Elves subplot entirely, I thought the movie did a great job at making a VERY complex novel into a three hour film. I liked this movie better than "Azkaban," even. Yes, there was a LOT cut out, but I thought the cuts were all logical. I was very pleased with how the film worked. No, it's not the book, but as far as book to film translations go, I'd say it's a winner.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 11/20/2005 09:00 PM EST

Leotrice- Looks like someone needs a history lesson. check in one of the earlier threads and Lord Poop shall teach you the horrible history of chrismas. Plus who are you to judge? Christmas is presents! And don't get me started on family. On my mom's side they're a buch of racist hicks and on my dad's side they are a bunch of ex hippys.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 11/20/2005 10:12 PM EST

Is it just me or has the Sci-Fi Channel been showing a shit ton of horror flicks?

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 11/20/2005 10:15 PM EST

No matter the history of Christmas, I enjoy the family time, the religious significance, and the getting of stuff. All in one.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 11/20/2005 10:37 PM EST

...on my dad's side they are a bunch of ex hippys.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 11/20/2005 10:12 PM EST

I don't know much about the history of Christmas but I do know that hippie is ends with
an "-ie" and not a "y", Lord Poop.

Chestnuts roasted by The Spell Checker @ 11/20/2005 10:49 PM EST

My worst Christmas...

I was pretty little at the time and my brother and I had gotten everybody up at like 3AM because we were as excited as caffeinated hummingbirds. Well, after my grandparents left(they visit every Christmas shortly after we finish opening presents. Before this, we spend Christmas Eve with them until around midnight), me and my brother argued and faught a little and my parents forced us both to take a nap. We woke up at 10PM and had to go back to bed shortly thereafter. I was sooo mad. Course I was totally being a brat that day and deserved it, but in my childhood mindset, it was as close to losing the World Series in game 7 in overtime as one could ever get.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 11/20/2005 10:52 PM EST

You and me both, Jessica Marie!

Chestnuts roasted by LemonWitch @ 11/20/2005 11:06 PM EST

I had seriously....like 3 christmas' in a row that I was sick as a dog for as a child. Everyone of them with a fever and a couple of them were vomit filled. Nothing is worse than your childhood Christmas' being ruined by disease

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 11/20/2005 11:07 PM EST

All I am is a fertilized egg.

Chestnuts roasted by Another face in the crowd @ 11/20/2005 11:36 PM EST

phunqsauce: Earlier today I had to stop and think what month it was for a moment, because I was looking at the tv listings online and 3 or 4 channels near each other were playing horror movies or haunting specials.

Chestnuts roasted by mag @ 11/20/2005 11:55 PM EST

I'm glad there was no Winky! Glad you hear me! BWAHAHA!

Anyway.

I just wanted to say that working in the Day Care I heard the best idea ever for children born around Christmas. Instead the parents celebrate the child's 'Half' birthday, so the kid gets presents a good six months later.

I thought it was cool.

Chestnuts roasted by Knitter @ 11/21/2005 12:02 AM EST

No one is online and I really need to tell someone about how badly I want a cookie puss right freaking now.

Chestnuts roasted by dohopoki @ 11/21/2005 01:00 AM EST

Thanksgiving 1990: I had my tonsils three four days before turkey day. I sick as a dog, I really couldn't eat, and to top it off it snow. I was the sadest boy in grade 2.

Christmas 91: My grandmom died suddenly on the night of 12/22. Her funeral was the day after christmas. Very hard christmas.

Christmas 97: broke my ankling during my ice hockey game on christmas eve, eve. The day after Christmas I had to get surgery to get 2 screws placed into my ankle. That messed up christmas and New Years.

Chestnuts roasted by Geoffinsanity @ 11/21/2005 08:47 AM EST

Woof! Can't wait for a new entry on the blog...these are horrible! Hey Matt- have we done the "best present ever" thread this year, or too old and tired?

Also-Kittycatgirl, your family is evil. See if you can get adopted elsewhere. Seriously, even if you're 30, it'd SO be worth it.

Chestnuts roasted by Terror Claws Cole @ 11/21/2005 09:11 AM EST

Worst Christmas story.... well a while back my parents had bought a bunch of stuff for our presents and since there is 5 kids in my family, there is a sufficient lack of hiding spots in the house. So they decided to leave a bunch of the stuff they had just gotten in the back of the Suburban my dad drove covered with a blanket. Well, those lovely gifts (which it amounted to almost all of them) sat in the back of that truck for maybe a day, because the next day at the Staten Island Mall, my mom and dad went shopping and when they came back out to the parking lot, the truck was gone. Stolen. All our presents were gone. A couple days later some thieves broke into my Oma's house and stole all her jewelry and whatever christmas gifts she had hidden (some were stuff my parents stashed there as well). It was a double whammy. I think I felt more bad that my dad lost his truck than us losing our presents, but it still made for a crumby Christmas. They found the 2 guys who stole the truck in Michigan about 3 weeks later. They were involved in a high speed chase with the cops for a different crime and plowed into a wall, totaling the car and doing vast injury to themselves... when my dad got the call from the Michigan PD, he was rather happy.

Chestnuts roasted by Double G @ 11/21/2005 09:14 AM EST

And thanks for the prize Matt! Who's Zooming Who Indeed!

Chestnuts roasted by Double G @ 11/21/2005 09:29 AM EST

Off-topic (like anyone cares), but did anyone catch Family Guy last night? With a Back to the Future and a Transformers reference, I couldn't help but think of my fellow X-E'rs. God that show is hilarious. It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

Chestnuts roasted by Nicole @ 11/21/2005 09:44 AM EST

my worst christmas wasn't all that bad. i had to work christmas morning, thus fouling up my family's holiday plans. and i had to work at the very movie theater that was the scene of the shooting a few weeks ago in Pittsburgh. it's been years since i worked there, but that still made me sad

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 11/21/2005 10:37 AM EST

This one isn't really so much "bad" as just embarassing. While opening presents at my mom and dad's house during Christmas a couple of years ago, I accepted by dad's invitation to have some beers while we were enjoying the festivities. Well, my mom and dad live at nearly 10,000 feet, and alcohol hits you pretty fast. I think I only had a few beers, but they hit me hard, and I was tipsy really quickly. I spent the evening kind of loudly slurring about the gifts and weaving around the living room. I just remember the uncomfortable look on my sister's face as I was obviously drunk in front of her little kid. I believe it was all caught on tape, as well. Ugh.

Chestnuts roasted by tanta07 @ 11/21/2005 10:45 AM EST

Is it just me or does anyone else see faces in the wood paneling wallpaper on this page? it's like im being watched......

Chestnuts roasted by Double G @ 11/21/2005 11:30 AM EST

GG- yes, by pigs and aliens

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 11/21/2005 11:35 AM EST

kb- whew, glad im not the only one. im still scared.

Chestnuts roasted by Double G @ 11/21/2005 11:42 AM EST

That was a corny ass tv spot! Thanks!

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie @ 11/21/2005 11:46 AM EST

All my holidays have been great except one. Christmas of 1999 my brother got really drunk in front of the family and went into a depressed rage on Christmas Eve. He had a gun in his car and took it out into the woods in the dark and didn't come back for 30 minutes. We found out about the gun when we went to disable his car (so he wouldn't try to drive it while drunk and angry) and we saw the empty case. We were all listening for a shot and that half hour seemed to last forever. Instead he came back in the house still raging, now because he tried to drive off but his car wouldn't start. We didn't know where the gun was and he threatened to kill us all. I've never been so scared in my life. Then he stormed off into the very cold night. I guess he walked like 8 miles to his apartment. No one in the family spoke to him for over 5 years. This year he's back.

Those of you who have stories about being excluded from gifts as a kid, I am sad for you. Adults can be so careless or petty sometimes and don't think about the impact they have or they don't care. At that point it's not about what the gift is, but just wanting to not be ignored or forgotten. For those whose worst experience is not getting a particular gift, get over it, and count yourself lucky that that is the worst you've had.

Kudos to Matt for keeping it real on the blog. The holidays are great, but they are not without there bitterness, too.

Chestnuts roasted by Jimbalya @ 11/21/2005 11:52 AM EST

Hokay, in this sea of depression I have found an island of happy:
--The Fraggle Rock theme--
Go ahead and click here to take a listen. In different languages, even. I defy anyone to not laugh whilst hearing it in Norwegian.

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 11/21/2005 11:57 AM EST

The worst? The exact opposite of MAZINGA. The year we came to Oklahoma for one Christmas, when I was eight. There was a big family gathering at the ancestral homestead. I never did like being in a crowd in general, and relatives in specific. What happened did nothing to help. I got a big present from one aunt who never did like anyone, and us four kids from California were very low on her list. So I open it and guess what? It was a pack of toilet paper! See a previous year's "Worst Gift" thread for more details.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 11/21/2005 12:02 PM EST

This is the first blog I've felt compelled to comment on.

My worst Christmas was probably the one where I hoped and prayed that my Great-grandfather would give us money for Christmas so our house didn't get forclosed and our utilities all turned off. That was like 5th grade. I think that was the same Christmas that Santa brought me a flannel nightgown (and nothing else).

My family is way dysfuntional, but I can't think of any Christmas-specific fights that were too terrible. Mostly it was just being poverty-stricken.

Except there was my freshman year of college when my sister got her wisdom teeth out and my other sister smacked her right it the side of her face. That was bad.

Chestnuts roasted by Amanda @ 11/21/2005 12:07 PM EST

I can't believe so many grandparents died on/near the holidays. My grandmother died a few days after Christmas in '96 and the funeral was New Years Eve. Actually, though, the year before was sadder because my grandmother was weak from the cancer and I had a cold, so I couldn't hug her or anything because if I made her sick it could have killed her. She had to sit around with a mask on the whole time. I felt pretty crappy. But, to help lighten things up a little, I feel I should add some silver linings to these stories...

I loved my grandmother, but she was a very uptight woman. After the funeral, we spent New Years Eve with my grandfather so he wouldn't be alone. While we were there, we looked at all these old pictures that I'd never gotten to see before (my grandmother didn't want us to touch them - my parents included - because she was convinced we'd mess them up.) I got to see their wedding picture and baby pictures of my dad. It was the most real moment I've ever spent with my grandfather and, even though it's rather bittersweet, I cherish the memory.

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 11/21/2005 12:52 PM EST

Oh yeah, I forgot one. Last New Years I threw up. A lot. Some strange and ruthless stomach virus.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 11/21/2005 12:57 PM EST

bitchpants - you worked at Loews? I've never had a good experience there - the picture is always blurry, or the sound sucks. When we saw A Mighty Wind, the top 1/8 of the screen was cut off, and we complained as soon as it started, they did nothing and wouldn't refund our money. I'm sure you have nothing to do with it, but man! I hate that place.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 11/21/2005 12:57 PM EST

THIS IS WAY OFF TOPIC, BUT. . I just found a stray kitten, (not Cat) and I want to take it home with me. However, I would like to make sure it does not have worms first. Does anyone know if there's some sorta pill that you can get at the grocery for that stuff? Thank you!

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 11/21/2005 12:58 PM EST

Worst Christmas ever?

I guess it's a toss up between two for me. I'll keep the descriptions short, since this thread is getting me down, too. (But brilliant of Matt to think of it! Great to get this crap off our chests early on, eh?)

1993 -- My first year away at school, and my mom and the (now former) step-bastard decided to go to California to see his kid. They waited 'til I had already made plans to come home before they told me. I literally had No Where to go. Christmas Day, my sister invited me to come see her (six hours away -- the longest drive I'd ever made) and her new husband, though it was clear to me that they didn't really want me to impinge on their first holiday together. And I slept on a mouldy-green, ancient loveseat. Ack.

2002 -- My mother insisted that I drive home through 10 inches of snow to see her and the step-bastard. Normally it's a 5.5 hour trip. This time, it took me 12. Mom pitched a fit when I got there because I decided to stay in town with my sister (a mere 2 miles away) rather than try to get up the steep hill to the country place Mom and s-b had. After dinner on Christmas day, I went back to Sis's and came down with a horrid case of flu/food poisoning. The vomiting only responded to suppositories. In the midst of puking and shoving medication up my bum, Mom called to bitch me out for not staying with them.

There. Someone had to link Christmas and suppositories. I'm glad it could be me.

Chestnuts roasted by Lisa Marie @ 11/21/2005 01:04 PM EST

kb -- you really want to take it to the vet, especially if you have other cats. Feline leukemia is too risky. And if s/he has worms, that can be cleared up.

Happy to hear you're adopting! Best time for it, too. Little buggers sometimes can't make it through the winter....

Chestnuts roasted by Lisa Marie @ 11/21/2005 01:10 PM EST

kb, take it to the local SPCA. The same thing happened to me and they checked the kitty over for free and now he's mine

Chestnuts roasted by Jillybeann @ 11/21/2005 01:11 PM EST

I've had a couple of Christmases where I didn't get what I want, but man, nothing compared to what some of you have gone through! Just makes me grateful for what I *have* had, reading some of these stories. But I mean that in a good way -- thanks for sharing and I wanna give everybody a big hug! :-)

My own "worst" Christmases, which again have not been really at all bad, have been in the last several years since my Mom passed away. For lotsa complex reasons, my family (dad, brother, sister, me) fragmented quite a bit after that; my sister and father no longer talk to each other, and my brother has moved far away due to his own family and job. We used to *always* get together somehow around Christmas, and now we don't. So it's a bittersweet feeling now at Christmas time, I had such great Christmases for so many years that I just get kinda sad at this time of year, for all the things that are gone now. We (my wife and I) spend Christmas now with her family and they're great but you know it's not the same, plus they do something totally alien to me -- they open their presents on Christmas Eve, not Christmas Day!!!

Nothing against those who open gifts early, but it just feels so ... wrong to me! ;-) Besides, then I have nothing to look forward to on Christmas morning and I know I'm being petty, but it bums me out a bit.

But I try not to let these get me too down! I really appreciate what I *do* have, And, oddly, reading your sad stories makes me feel closer to you guys and I know I'm not alone (you''ve all had it worse!), and I'm looking forward to the XE Christmas Countdown and reading more from everybody. Thanks! :-)

Chestnuts roasted by Ozymango @ 11/21/2005 02:24 PM EST

This thread really does help you appreciate things more. Really good topic Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Double G @ 11/21/2005 02:33 PM EST

quick off-thread about Family Guy:
Mr. Herbert singing "Someplace That's Green" from Little Shop was both creepy and depressing. Even his dog seems to be a perv.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 11/21/2005 02:42 PM EST

My Christmases all rule, I also buy my own gifts for redistribution to me so there are no fowl ups, like the one my mom just pulled by buying me the wrong game as I've been told by my brother yesterday. OK though, I already have the correct game which I will switch Christmas morning. My wife thinks I'm spoiled.

My wife on the other hand had some bad Christmases. When she was little her family made ALOT of money and they always got rockin' amounts of gifts then her Mom lost the good job and her Dad wasn't working at the time. She was too young to know this all she knew was that when she woke up for Christmas morning expecting her usual big haul there was nothing...but....a...muffin tin wrapped up. They were that way up until she met me and now I make up for it by buying her bitchin' gifts including toys from the 80's she never got but wanted like Rainbow Brights dolls, and Carebears, and my little pony's etc.

Chestnuts roasted by Funky Boo Berry the Ghost of 70's Christmas @ 11/21/2005 02:42 PM EST

Weeeelll, mine's ridiculous compared to everyone else's. One year I worked at Braums in High School, and I had to work half of Christmas Eve. Annoyed beyond belief that people would actually come in this day (the day my family opens presents), I finally get off work and have to WALK home in the freezing cold (no car). Then, I go home alone, take a bath (because grease don't just shower off when you work at a burger joint), change into my normal clothes, and go exhausted to my Grandma's house. I was really, really tired that year, but drank enough pop to keep awake. Basically mildly annoying really. Well, or as we say in Oklahoma, Whelp, guess that's it.

Chestnuts roasted by Terror Claws Cole @ 11/21/2005 03:16 PM EST

Jessica Marie - not only did i work there, but i worked at the guest services desk. so you (and about a million other people) would get to take your complaints to me. i was basically powerless to help anyone, but it sure was fun to listen to them. until they started throwing things at me. oh how i miss those days!

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 11/21/2005 04:08 PM EST

My birthday is the day after Christmas. My cousins and I got together to trade gifts on the day of my 21st birthday. We did our Christmas thing in the afternoon, ate a big fancy dinner and then did my birthday cake and presents. Then my cousin, who had also just turned 21 dragged me downtown to get me as drunk as humanly possible. We drank EVERYTHING... beer, wine, mixed drinks, lots and lots of shots. When it was time to go home we started walking.... down the middle of the street and singing. Eventually my younger cousin found us and gave us a ride home which was good because we had a better chance of collapsing and getting run over by a snow plow than we did of walking home. When we got in the house we started telling some random story. I was half passed out on the couch and talking and my cousin was standing in the middle of the room making very big motions to illustrate the story. My cousin was of course stumbling all over as he did this. As if this wasn't funny enough he then fell on his ass. And no, he didn't land on the floor. He landed in the Christmas tree. The tree fell on the floor, with my cousin sitting in it, and ornamets went rolling across the room.

Ok, that wasn't a sucky Christmas moment. It could've been though. But hey, my family all has a sense of humor and technically Christmas was over and it was time for that tree to come down anyways.

Chestnuts roasted by Carri @ 11/21/2005 04:09 PM EST

bitchpants: Good to see another movie theater employee (or in your case, former movie theater employee) in the ranks. Some people complain about the stupidest things...

Jessica Marie: your complaints about the movie theaters are actually valid. It literally takes two seconds to reframe a film. Whoever you complained to was infinitely lazy.

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 11/21/2005 04:23 PM EST

I thought I would share what I just bought. Its a chirstmasish tshirt, but I will be rocking it all year around. Its that good.

http://www.threadless.com/product/356/Lost_A_Wheel?streetteam=icupg

Chestnuts roasted by Geoffinsanity @ 11/21/2005 05:13 PM EST

My parents never let me open anything early on Christmas, but once when i was 7, they let me choose one thing from my stocking on Christmas Eve, i think 'cause they were ripped up pretty good. I tried to pick something good, and ripped it open with as much enthusiasm as a kid looking for an ESB Snowtrooper could possibly have. It was a 4-pack of batteries for one of my other presents. They didn't let me have a second chance.

Chestnuts roasted by Doosheabaggio @ 11/21/2005 05:19 PM EST

Thanks for the heads up Geoff, I bought one too.

Chestnuts roasted by mag @ 11/21/2005 05:29 PM EST

Mag: nice. I thought other people on here would appreciate it.

Chestnuts roasted by Geoffinsanity @ 11/21/2005 05:45 PM EST

Mr. Herbert singing "Someplace That's Green" from Little Shop was both creepy and depressing. Even his dog seems to be a perv.

TV Announcer: Welcome back to our coverage of the Little League World Series.

Herbert: ...Jackpot!

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/21/2005 05:59 PM EST

bitchpants-I'm glad you're done working at Loew's, and I'm especially sorry you worked at Guest Services. During a period of my life I try to forget, I worked at a customer service desk for ShopnSave. You probably had some really crappy complaints (you too mtrox) but I bet you never had to refund someone two cents.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 11/21/2005 06:13 PM EST

Terror Claws Cole: You are right, I should get adopted by a new family. Well cept for the fact my parents are pretty good, its just the rest of the crew that sucks. I havent seen any of them in about three years so its all good so far.

I always feel bad for the kids that dont get much for christmas and try to keep a few generic gifts around for any that might show up for the big day that everyone else forgot about. It always sucks hard when you are little to see everyone else tearing through presents and not understanding why you arent getting anything. It's amazing what a little stuffed animal or one of thsoe tiger handheld games can do to brighten up a kid's day.
I can usually spot stuff that sux a mile away though, most people can't once they get over the age of 18. Its a shame really... Kids want fun stuff for Christmas. Hell, *I* want fun stuff for X-mas but then again ppl say I act like I'm 16 anyway (am 23). Poo.

Chestnuts roasted by Kittycatgirl @ 11/21/2005 06:45 PM EST

Hey, Jessica Marie.

While I never had the priviledge of working at Shopnsave or Stowandgo or Loews, I was a delivery driver for a local restaurant years ago in Charleston, IL.

It was late one winter's night and I was running my last delivery. By the time I got to the last house, I had no change left. I rang the bell and handed the items to the woman that lived there. Fortunately, they only were getting 10 cents in change, which I figured was no big deal, because I'd be sure to get at least a buck for a tip. But no. The lady made me go back to the restaurant and get her goddamn dime.

Of course, I never did get that lady her dime and the restaurant lost yet another customer.

Not really a holiday memory, but it warms my heart all the same.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris Martin @ 11/21/2005 06:57 PM EST

Chris -
She sounds like a cold old lady with no holiday spirit.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 11/21/2005 07:46 PM EST

Just so you all know ( I know you were holding your breath ) my new kitty is fine, just skinny as all hell from being a stray. After lots of shots, pills and deworming goo, the vet said she would be fine. YAY!

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 11/21/2005 07:50 PM EST

Invader Norbert: I just sent replied to your email let me know if you don't get it.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 11/21/2005 08:18 PM EST

Meh, my crappy holidays are pretty slim in comparison to many here. One year, in August, my mom lost her mind and made my sister and me move to Austria with her (she's from there, I was born there).

Halloween was the low point of that experience, Thanksgiving just didn't happen (I'm pretty much the only one in my family that likes turkey, and hell if they were going to scour all of Austria for a turkey just for me). Christmas at least did, since it's a holiday that actually celebrate over there (though a bit bizarre, since it's Austria and all, St. Nicholas does double duty on Dec. 6th and Christmas Eve. Sidetrack - apparently every year one of my uncles dresses up as St. Nick and comes in with the loot for the various nieces and nephews, and he reads aloud how they were good and how they were bad that year. In front of everyone. Ugh).

I bailed out a few days after Christmas though, went back to live with a friend from school for half a year until Mom and sister returned as well. So I guess the great present I got that year was a plane ticket home.

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 11/21/2005 08:35 PM EST

Last year was definately the worst Christmas. Pretty much everything fell apart, first with finding out my grandfather had cancer two weeks before Christmas and then him passing away from it a week later..

..And then a few hours later, I got a phone call saying my best friend was dying in the hospital. He had a brain tumour, and we knew he was going to go soon, but it happened to be the same day as my grandfather.

Two months later, on Valentine's Day, my grandmother passed away. She had several strokes after her husband died and finally went on V-Day.. throwing things at nurses and cursing everyone at the top of her lungs.

Chestnuts roasted by Starreh @ 11/21/2005 08:57 PM EST

Hah! Were you required to keep a straight face whilst jolly old St. Nick read your sins? Cause I don't think I'd have managed. Especially with my cousins, and their role call of shame. Come to think of it, you'd be hard-pressed to find one of my uncles that could read the things without laughing.

"And then, while designing the homecoming fireworks, you replaced the 'A' in 'USA' with an anarchy sign, and ignited it during the halftime show. Giant flaming red anarchy sign, spelled out in flares six feet high, in front of half the town...heh. Good times." Then he'd be glared into oblivion by grandma. "Er...I mean...very naughty. Very naughty indeed."

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 11/21/2005 09:02 PM EST

Geoffinsanity, thats AMAZING- even for a threadless, thats extremely cool.

Chestnuts roasted by dj BC @ 11/21/2005 09:09 PM EST

If only it were an old lady, Jessica. It was a college student. I mean, I understand being poor in college. Been there. But ten cents?

Chestnuts roasted by Chris Martin @ 11/21/2005 09:27 PM EST

Last year in Korea.....it was ok- went skiing with friends, got drunk, but it certainly wasn't CHRISTMAS....it was like 'obscure winter holiday party' instead...no family, no old friends, no snow, it wasn't cold, nobody really celebrated Xmas, etc etc.
We did the best we could with it.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 11/21/2005 10:33 PM EST

RHINO- Holy shit, I am listening to the "Fraggle Rock" theme right now on my Winamp (due to a mild case of the blues) and I absolutely agree with you- it does cheer you up- glad to read your comment just now

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 11/21/2005 10:37 PM EST

quick off-thread about Family Guy:
Mr. Herbert singing "Someplace That's Green" from Little Shop was both creepy and depressing. Even his dog seems to be a perv.

I wondered how many people would know what the song was from. They followed the images from the Rick Moranis movie version very closely....somewhat scarily, actually. I did notice a few of the lyrics were changed, for reasons that don't make much sense..

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 11/21/2005 11:29 PM EST

I live to serve...

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 11/22/2005 12:02 AM EST

Mine aren't all that bad, thankfully. I hope all of you have had the worst Christmases you're going to already, and that they're all good from here on out.

For me, probably the worst Christmas moment was a few years ago. Christmas Eve, had been home for about an hour after the big family get-together. Was feeling pretty sick... bad stomach ache, queasiness... you know the drill. After a while, it got so bad I had to go and puke... and it came out blood red. My family has a history of certain digestive disorders, so there were some very specific feelings of terror there for me, in addition to the more general feelings of terror most people would have to puking up blood. Was like that for about 30 minutes, just barely getting enough oxygen in between all the throwing up. Went to bed feeling very pained and more than a little scared.

Woke up the next morning feeling better, and a bit more clear-headed. Went into the kitchen, still pondering why I'd been so sick. And then I spotted one of the goodies I'd overindulged on the past few days: "holiday" Oreos. With the bright red filling. Bright red + dark brown = blood red. I'm never eating those bastard things again.

More in the vein of funny-bad was the one year my maternal grandmother bought all us kids pink footed sleeper pajamas. There are three of us, only one girl, and my sister doesn't like pink any more than my brother and I do. She was 8. I was 10. My brother was 14. Where in the world Grandma found pink footed sleeper pajamas in his size, I'll never know... but that was the last year we accepted non-cash gifts from Grandma.

Chestnuts roasted by MRL @ 11/22/2005 03:36 AM EST

Jessica Marie - no i never had to refund 2 cents. i did, however, get an earfull when we didn't have a particular movie playing due to not receiving the film. which may have been a legitimate complaint if it were not september 13, 2001 and all flights were grounded. apparently this woman's movie going pleasure was far more important than the safety of our nation. hoe.

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 11/22/2005 08:27 AM EST

I worked on 9/11, and I couldn't believe how many people actually came to see movies that evening...

Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 11/22/2005 08:52 AM EST

OMG they are doing a blind taste test of the Jones Soda Holiday Pack on a radio station here in Pittsburgh! they are making a professional chef drink it blindfolded. poor guy

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 11/22/2005 09:34 AM EST

MTROX

I think I understand. All they were showing on TV that day was planes crashing and people running. I'm sure many of them just wanted/needed a distraction.

Chestnuts roasted by Rhino @ 11/22/2005 09:35 AM EST

bitchpants-
We totally heard that taste test as well! On 100.7. Seems it was last year's pack - I wonder if the taste mellows over time, or intensifies.

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 11/22/2005 10:05 AM EST

I don't have any bad Christmas stories, but I haven't had a traditional Thanksgiving in years. It's been a long time since I've seen the adult table and kids table, ect.

Chestnuts roasted by MrsDanFielding @ 11/22/2005 10:23 AM EST

they did mention the regional pack, so i guess it's available SOMEWHERE in Pittsburgh!

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 11/22/2005 10:23 AM EST

In response to this little "customer service" side topic going on...

When I worked at Best Buy, I had a lady come in and make a big deal over the fact that one of our prices was (literally) one penny over Circuit City's and she wanted us to beat it. Now, I was in appliances, so we're talking the difference of one penny on a washing machine or a dryer. Who cares? Anyway, I told her that our policy was to price match (not price beat) and she stormed out of the store...for a penny!

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 11/22/2005 11:02 AM EST

worst xmas was when I was 6 or something, got up at 5am and opened one of my presents which was a Superman bop bag- exactly what I wanted!! Too bad I couldn't wait tho, my parents got mad and made me write Santa an apology letter. OUCH!

btw, can someone help me find the links for 1985/86 Macy Parades? ty and happy hollow-days.

Chestnuts roasted by Nonix @ 11/22/2005 11:33 AM EST

I know they mentioned the regional pack! But what if he just read it on the website?

Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 11/22/2005 11:36 AM EST

why are all of you killing your grandparents during the holiday's, you sick fucks

Chestnuts roasted by zerox @ 11/22/2005 12:05 PM EST

LisaMarie--I call the dick married to my mom "my stepbastard" too! What are the odds of that? I call him that even in casual conversation to people; I get a few weird looks but hey, it's the most realistic description I can give!

Worst Christmas memory (and not all that bad, really) was a few years ago when my dad and I went to D.C. for Christmas. Early in the day, we decided to go to a Chinese restaurant for dinner (Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra and all that). Except in the middle of the day we got in a HUGE FIGHT. We went to the restaurant anyway and had to fake Christmas enthusiasm to the poor waiter who may or may not have realized we were seething underneath. I think it wouldn't have been so bad except it was Christmas, it was Chinese, and there was no duck head to be chopped off.

Chestnuts roasted by purplegirl247 @ 11/22/2005 12:15 PM EST

MRL:
"Nothing wrong here!"
Anytime I can use that quote is happy time. Especially in context.

I found a fairly decent copy of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" on DVD for a buck. Yes, a (biddi-biddi-biddi) buck! But of course, I'm still going to get the MST3K disc for maximum riffing satisfaction. Hooray for Santy Claus!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 11/22/2005 12:25 PM EST

Hey, Nonix (and anybody else looking for the 85/86 Macy's Parade page), it's right here at --

http://x-entertainment.com/thanksgiving/macyparade/1985-1986/4/

Chestnuts roasted by Ozymango @ 11/22/2005 12:36 PM EST

http://www.homestarrunner.com/floatparade.html

Who do you trust? Hubba hubba hubba, money money money, Who Do You Trust? Me? I'm not making any sense! And where is HomeStar? He's in a pile of swee-at shirts, getting bit by rats!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash on the X-E float, as "Plotty The Chia!" @ 11/22/2005 01:43 PM EST

Hey, all -- today's my workplace's Thanksgiving dinner. No fewer than four types of dressing, three types of homemade noodles, cakes, pies, dips, potatoes, and all the other stuff. There's nothing like a 9 a.m. breakfast of crudite and dressing.

You can imagine that productivity here today is at an all-time high. Nodding off? Check.

And Purplegirl247 -- Luckily the stepbastard is no longer step. Just a bastard.

Chestnuts roasted by Lisa Marie @ 11/22/2005 02:49 PM EST

Hmmm...silence from Matt for the most part...few updates...week of Thanksgiving....

IT'S ALMOST PARADE TIME, PEOPLE!

Am I the only one who likes reading Matt's parade reports of the past better than watching the current parade on TV? I mean, what do they have now? Not He-Man or Transformers, thats for sure.

Chestnuts roasted by Terror Claws Cole @ 11/22/2005 03:17 PM EST

Yea. I really enjoy reading Matt's parade reports from years ago. They get me really nastalgic(sp?) of the classic parades when I was little. When they had classic cartoon characters as balloons. Now they have really crappy ones.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 11/22/2005 03:24 PM EST

So Do we not get a macy parade this year? I'm sure they take forever and a day to do but come on matt I need my fix. Actually I find that to be one of the most enjoyable things on the site. To me personally I enjoy it more than the Halloween stuff. Hope you are able to find the time in the next few days to get one up.

Chestnuts roasted by thejyav @ 11/22/2005 03:59 PM EST

Worst holidays..

1993...when my cat decided to attack me as I was sneaking a peek at my presents the night before x-mas morning.

Date unknown...but I was less that 10, so late 80s...my Mom was hosting Christmas dinner, and my Aunt (her sister) claimed in front of the whole family that the turkey wasn't cooked enough. It was the last time my Aunt (and her family) was invited to Christmas dinner at our house.

YAY!

Chestnuts roasted by krista @ 11/22/2005 05:28 PM EST

The worst St. Slapfish's day I ever had was when the Weasel-loaf exploded prematurely. Never even made it to the trough of whangberry dressing. Then those barbarians next door stampeded the women and raped the cattle. We sure needed those stinkin' badgers right then. I tried to summon the Destructor to properly put a cap on the evening, but I think I dialed the wrong portal co-ordinates. Got one of those eyeball-things from "Big Trouble in Little China" instead. Ah, well. There's always next Smarch 13th.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 11/22/2005 06:28 PM EST

New entry!

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 11/22/2005 07:14 PM EST

The reviews of the classic parades are great...I don't watch the current parades--they do nothing for me. I love how dated the '86 parade is when they have Victoria Jackson (who was just becoming known on "Saturday Night Live" interviewing someone in a Garfield suit. There's the guy's fleeting 20 seconds of fame.

My cousin used to work at Stevens Tech in Hoboken, New Jersey as a sports trainer (she now works for Pfizer in Brooklyn--same kind of job). they used to inflate the balloons there, and she used to walk in the parade, helping carry one of the Macy's stars. WABC, the New York ABC station (but since most of you are from the area, you probably already knew that) does a package every year on the parade. I remember in recent years (about 5-7 years ago), Jim Dolan would do the reports, and his daughter would take over the microphone at the end of the report. In the early 1990s, my cousin was seen in the background on the 11 o'clock news on WABC during this report! My aunt taped it and showed it on Thanksgiving Day.

Of course, it can't top my famous blink-and-you'll-miss shot of me eating yogurt for a story on Philadelphia's KYW (CBS-3) during my internship.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 11/22/2005 07:35 PM EST

I understnad what you are saying about them not being like they used to Allison, but I still watch it. I love the end when Santa comes out and the world figures out it's the Christmas season. It's much more fun being all jazzed for the holiday when everyone else has caught up with what you've been excited for for about a month. Except the marching bands, they get old quick.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 11/22/2005 07:58 PM EST

The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. It was so horrible.

It was Christmas Eve. I was nine years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office: no answer. Christmas day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began to search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire....and that's when I noticed the smell.

The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird, and instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He had been climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve, his arms loaded with presents. He was going to surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck, died instantly.

And that's how I found out that there was no Santa Claus.

Chestnuts roasted by Kate Beringer @ 11/22/2005 08:33 PM EST

Well played Kate. I've been waiting for you to comment ever since this survey was posted. But don't you have an even worse holiday memory in Gremlins 2?

Chestnuts roasted by Carri @ 11/22/2005 08:49 PM EST

Holy crap. Exactly 200 comments. Matt you gotta own em up with some more kool-aid reviews.

Chestnuts roasted by Cotter @ 11/22/2005 09:35 PM EST

In case anyone was interested in the santa pack comment I made, I did some research.
http://www2.coca-cola.com/presscenter/nr_20051115_americas_holiday_packaging.html
You can also click my name to get to the news report.

Apparently Coke WILL have Santa on some of it's bottles, but the three stores I've went to all had polar bears only...

Chestnuts roasted by SuperRecoome @ 11/22/2005 09:49 PM EST

As previously posted, there IS going to be a parade review. I'd guess we'll see it this week? I've never watched a Macy's parade in it's entirety in my life, but they are some of my very fav X-E articles.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 11/22/2005 10:22 PM EST

Yeah :-( don't get me started on Lincoln's birthday.

Chestnuts roasted by Kate Beringer @ 11/22/2005 10:28 PM EST

Wow, what an incredibly depressing thread. I'm so glad that my stories aren't as awful as the ones being posted here.

Matt, a comment that Allison made got me thinking. She claimed that most people here are "from the area." I assume she means New Jersey and New York. Now, I am NOT from the area, and I'm intensely curious as to whether Allison is correct. How about for the next thread you ask where people are from and where they plan to spend Christmas? I bet there's some interesting stories out there.

My own awful holidays really aren't that awful- but there was the year my parents left me at Grandpa and Grandma's house for the week after Christmas while they moved. I was 6. I was stuck with old people who think church is the best time ever, with only a remote control car to play with. Of course the batteries died within hours. I think it was the most boring week of my life.

Chestnuts roasted by spaz307 @ 11/22/2005 10:29 PM EST

I spent Christmas Day 2003 in the emergency room with a kidney stone. You'd be amazed at how busy the emergency room is on Christmas day. By the time I got home, some 5 hours later, all my family had time for was frozen burger patties and french fries. Don't get me wrong, I like burgers and fries as much as the next chick, but it did put a bit of a damper on everyone's Christmas spirit. And boy, did I feel bad.

Chestnuts roasted by earthwormgoddess @ 11/22/2005 10:34 PM EST

Not everyone is from New Jersey or New York. I'm from Slidell, LA.

Chestnuts roasted by earthwormgoddess @ 11/22/2005 10:40 PM EST

I think we're actually pretty mixed geographically, though I do believe there are more east coast/midwesterners than left coasters like myself. I know there's a fair few canucks around as well

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 11/22/2005 11:30 PM EST

I havent posted in a long while.
I think the last time I did was on that Super Mario Bros. the movie review/tie-in blog?

This I could not resist however.

Worst Thanksgiving ever: after a long hiatus from the family, my great aunt showed up for dinner at the usual gathering house. Lots of whispering followed by some outbursts. Details are sketchy since I dont recall a good portion of what led up to her disappearance.

Worst Christmas: I can recall certain pieces since I was infected with some horrid death-flu.

We were having "two" present opening sessions. One at the grandparents in Pennslyvania. One at the grandparents in Illinois.

By the time we got back to Illinois I wasnt feeling so hot. My parents attributed it to: "drinking so many different types of water in so many different places in such a short amount of time."

They gave me Pepto-Bismol. A big flu no-no.

When we arrived back in Illinois, I threw up all over the first two presents I opened: Ninja Gaiden 2 and some action figure play-set. Cant recall what one. I also hit the pile of gifts that had amassed under my legs.

I just kept puking. I couldnt even lift my head. I remember the pain being so great that I passed out.

After going to the emergency room, a few hours passed and I was deemed (why???) "ok enough" to go to Wal-Greens with grandpa. Only about 4 seconds after stepping into the store I had to vomit again. I ran outside and tried to get my head into the trashcan with the holds in the top and bolted down lid. It was too small- so I just threw-up all over a pair of ladies walking into the store, myself, the welcome-mat, and the parking-lot.

I dont remember much else after that. We "re-did" Christmas because of the incidents though and I got to unwrap the presents I hadnt gotten to earlier after they were re-wrapped due to the vomit all over them. :\

Chestnuts roasted by SARs 80k @ 11/22/2005 11:37 PM EST

This one really doesn't relate to me or to any particular Christmas, but I find it pretty sad. I work with elementary school children with various disabilities. One little girl is autistic, and autistic children often have unusual fears. This child is terrified of anyone in a costume. Well I didn't know how bad this fear was (I knew she was afraid of clowns), until I helped walk the kids to the buses on the last day of school before Christmas break. There was a bus driver standing in the door of one of the buses, in a full Santa suit. The girl just completely froze stiff with fear - she is terrified of Santa Claus. This fear probably ruins her Christmas (she is only six or seven), and it definitely ruins her Halloween. She had to be sent home early on Halloween because she couldn't handle seeing everyone dressed up.

I just cannot imagine being afraid of Santa.

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 11/23/2005 12:51 AM EST

Has anyone heard of In2TV? It's on-demand TV for the internet that's supposed to start in January. Freddy's Nightmares is on the lineup.

Chestnuts roasted by Carri @ 11/23/2005 01:50 AM EST

Okay this story is only bad to others. I think it's one of the best stories I've got.

Christmas day, walking around a corner too fast, a stuffed fish with a lure in it's mouth. Guess where the lure ended up. That's right my ear.

I got to walk into the emergency room on Christmas day with a fishing luring sticking in my ear. Had to wait for the hospital janitor to bring some wire cutters.

I love that story

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 11/23/2005 01:58 AM EST

Have a Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! Me? I'll be in England, while my Jones Soda will still be in route to Germany. Sigh, Mr. X, why has thou forsaken me?

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

Chestnuts roasted by Erik Majorwitz @ 11/23/2005 04:39 AM EST

My worst holiday ever was Thanksgiving '96. My Grandmother passed away a few days before Thanksgiving.

My worst Christmas took place after my older sister moved to Georgia (I live in Indiana). My mom didn't want to put up a Christmas tree or anything because "it just wasn't Christmas without the whole family there."

Chestnuts roasted by Merry @ 11/23/2005 08:58 AM EST

Lori, I read your story about the lady who stormed out of Best Buy over a penny. Well, I don't think your math is correct, you see, she would actually have saved two (2) pennies. I hope you can understand her ire a little better and won't be so quick to judge. Have a nice day.

Chestnuts roasted by Funky Boo Berry the Ghost of Christmas 70's @ 11/23/2005 09:11 AM EST

Most of these "worst" stories revolve around family issues or problems. Mine does as well - but about my youngest kid. One Christmas my (then) 5 year old broke his arm tripping over a tree root while playing in a friends yard. We spent most of the night before Christmas eve in the ER. That meant that next day we were frantically rushing around finishing Christmas stuff and spending time at the Orthopedist getting his arm in a permanent cast and we started to notice that he was feverish. We then remembered that in the ER children's waiting room there were a lot of kids who we thought had the flu. (You know- the people who can't afford a regular doctor and therefore go to the county ER for flu or anything else.) We gave him some medicene and hoped it was just from the arm. The next day (Xmas) we got up and kids were all excited, except him- he just didn't feel up to it. We went to my mothers for family get together and when it was discovered that he was presenting more flu like symptoms- he was promptly exiled to a spare bedroom by everyone else. Not only was his arm broken, and he felt miserable- he couldn't even enjoy a little bit of X-mas and was shut out by his family. I promptly called his emergency pediatrician line who called something in to the local Walgreens and I left my wife and kids with my family and took him to Walgreens. We got his meds and I got him a stuffed Xmas bear and we went home and watched cartoons. He slept the rest of the day. He didn't open or even really see anything til the next day. I know he may have felt it was his worst Christmas - but it was also mine. Thankfully it wasn't as tragic as these other stories- but watching your kid be so miserable during an exciting and magically time is miserable also. I'm just grateful it wasn't worse and that he has many more great Christmas Days to come.

Chestnuts roasted by J.C. Loophole @ 11/23/2005 10:01 AM EST

No, Funky Boo, I was right. Like I said, we only matched, we didn't beat. If we had the appliance for $139.99 and they had it for $139.98, the best we could do would be to give it to her at the [snicker] lower price of $139.98. But you're right, I shouldn't be so quick to judge.

J.C., I had a (kind of) similar experience with my little sister. She got really ill on Christmas Eve one year (I was 14, she was 11.) She was so sick she could barely move. She was camped out on the couch, so we just came in on Christmas morning and did the present thing like usual. She tried to act happy (and we tried to act like we weren't grossed out by her stopping every few minutes to vomit violently into a bucket), but it was clear she was really miserable. Mom stayed home with her, and Dad and I went on to the holiday caravan of homes (Mom's Parents/Great-Grandparents - Since the only time we got to see all of our family was Thanksgiving and Christmas. Plus, it would have made my sister feel even worse if we'd all had to suffer because she was sick.) It was really sad. It was the first Christmas my whole family wasn't together, and it just wasn't the same without my little sister. Plus, I was so sad that she only got one Christmas a year and hers was totally ruined. Poor little thing. Our relatives only lived a couple of hours away, so she felt better by the next weekend and we all went back so she and mom could open their gifts (and, since my dad is an only child, we had skipped his parents altogether, so we got to do that one as a family.)

Luckily, this kind of thing (and the aforementioned dying relative), is the worse that it's gotten and my good holidays far outnumber the lackluster ones.

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 11/23/2005 10:32 AM EST

true story:
I was one of the poor must-go-to-the-ER poeple. When you are sick and don't have insurance or $150 to walk into a doctors office with it's your only option.
I got strep last winter, went to ER, had throat culture, got pennicillian and was out of the Hospital within and hour. My doctor patient time was literally 2 minutes, and mabye another 2 for the blood pressure and temp. So anyways, my ER trip for poor people cost $450. And you don't get out of paying. When you work, but don't make enough for insurance and make too much for assistance (and 9.50/hr was my wage at that time) they make you pay the full bill. Really poor people that get assistance go to the doctors office alongside middle-upper class citizens.

Sorry, JC just had to vent that out

Chestnuts roasted by poor bastard @ 11/23/2005 10:34 AM EST

dohopoki, I know how you feel. My B-day's the 29th, and I'd always be screwed out of presents. It's like they'd spend the same amount on me for both days as they did on my siblings, and just splitmy presents in half.

It's selfish in a way, but VERY upsetting.

My worst Christmas, well. Two of them. One was about five years ago, Qwest had just come up with this Webtv thing. I wanted a computer, but I asked dad for that Webtv. Lo and behold, I got it, and my brother got a $1,000 computers. That wasn't the issue. The issue WAS that three months later the thing folded, and my dad sent back the WebTV module for that $300 refund. This was my big present of the year.

Yeah, he sent it back for the refund, but I got nothing. My present for the year was taken away from me, and he wouldn't even just give me part of the money as compensation.

Worst AND best had to be last year though. My mom died years ago, and my dad remarried, to this woman I thought was real nice. After I moved out for my first year of college though, she turned on me, began insulting me. Found out from her that she never loved me, but just pretended to to please dad. Lying to me all those years I had begun to thinkof her as a second mother.

So, summer before this one we just passed, I dropped out of college and now live with my boyfriend, in an apartment above his mom's house. It was the worst Christmas, because all my ties from my family were cut off, and have been since; all my traditions shattered. But it was also the best, because now I'm celebrating it with my new family. One who seems to care a lot more.

...oops. LONG post.

Chestnuts roasted by RabiesBunny @ 11/23/2005 10:59 AM EST

A few more of these sad stories, and I'll start looking at the turkey funny. As for those who are estranged from their loved ones, always remember, we're all family here at the X. Maybe more like Addams or Munster than Cleaver and Huxtable, but still, just one big festering, strangely vibrating, oozing, and embolistic family. And, you don't have to clean up after we leave!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 11/23/2005 11:53 AM EST

Sorry poor bastard (that sounds funny) I didn't mean it as an insult. I have family who work a these places and there are plenty of people, unlike you, who go (for anything -bruise, cut, sniffles,- not necessarily strep etc.) and do not pay, but they drive off in an Escalade. They also have to make a family and friends affair. Therefore there is nowhere to sit- and when you are carrying a 5 year old with a broken arm and you have to wait all night standing up because someone got a paper cut at work ( and claimed workman's comp -true story we found out later) and the whole extended family showed up - you get a little testy. I am sorry if I said anything to offend you and you were right to vent. I'm still paying on hospital and doctor's bills now- even with crappy insurance.

Chestnuts roasted by J.C. Loophole @ 11/23/2005 12:38 PM EST

Post 222!

And thank you Jeff for sending out the Regional Pack for me, even though I haven't gotten it yet.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 11/23/2005 01:35 PM EST

The worst Christmas- When my uncle kept insisting that Teddy Rupskin was a "Party Bear" and poured an old Milwaukee down his mouth!

Chestnuts roasted by Q @ 11/23/2005 01:43 PM EST

Yes, kingklash, we are some sotra strange family. But where's our leader? We haven't heard from Matt in days. Someone's bound to get whiny.
I'm sure he's busy with the jobby thing.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 11/23/2005 03:18 PM EST

Wow... I have to admit that I can't remember a really terrible Christmas. I've had the ones where I've had the flu, the first one with divorced parents (that sucked) etc... Honestly though, to me, the worst was the year my younger brother and sister decided that they were too old to believe in Santa (or pretend to) and didn't put out cookies and milk for him. I actually cried.

Chestnuts roasted by Meagan @ 11/23/2005 03:30 PM EST

Oh my god, Q, I would have CRIED!!! Poor Teddy Ruxpin...

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 11/23/2005 05:51 PM EST

Actually, I bet Matt's more busy with this year's Macy's article so it'll be posted in time for Thanksgiving.

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 11/23/2005 06:07 PM EST

Wel, I'm about ready to split, and I will be gone for "Take a Native American to Lunch Day." See you guys Friday. Have a good time, take what you want, but eat all you take. We're also waiting to hear if Little Brother is going to be a daddy in the next couple days, kid's supposed to be due today, but she'll be here in her own time. Later!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash, the natural predator of the cranberry. @ 11/23/2005 06:11 PM EST

I'd have to say my WORST Christmas was last year. Two weeks before Christmas I got fired from my job of six years. Later that night I told my girlfriend. She seemed to take it well. We went out for Thai and saw a movie. And THEN she dumped me. Yeah. Fired and dumped within a five hour period right before Christmas. I'm not bitter though. The bitch.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris Martin @ 11/23/2005 06:34 PM EST

'Golden Girls' mobbed at signing
Fark thread

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 11/23/2005 06:36 PM EST

Sorry, I didn't realize the Fark thread related to the story would be pretty much sexual jokes.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 11/23/2005 06:41 PM EST

Hey, Eric. Whereabouts in England are you stationed?

I'm a Pennsylvania girl (Phillyish) living in Essex, UK.

Chestnuts roasted by Silkenray @ 11/23/2005 06:48 PM EST

Lori, my mom and I both feel your pain--she works in retail, and I worked in retail for 3 years (2 in a video store and several months in seasonal positions). Mom has been in retail for 13 years now. I understand your predicament.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 11/23/2005 06:53 PM EST

Matt, so are we gonna get a thanksgiving day parade article man?

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 11/23/2005 08:08 PM EST

no kiddin....M.M.I.A....Matt Missing In Action

Chestnuts roasted by gerv @ 11/23/2005 09:01 PM EST

Erik. Sorry. My brother's name is Eric, so I instinctually spell it that way.

Home with my family for Thanksgiving right now. It's sucking mightily. Mom's falling into old patterns. She slapped me again in the middle of an argument. Yeah, not very hard, but still not at all appropriate. I'm just a bit freaked out.

Chestnuts roasted by Silkenray @ 11/23/2005 09:27 PM EST

Tonight at 7 pm Pacific time the local fluff news program Evening Magazine is featuring The Guy That Dares To Drink The Jones Soda Holiday Pack. They just showed some clips of him drinking (I think) the Salmon Pate Soda and saying something like, "This is diabolically bad."

I never watch the show because it sucks, but I might have to check this out to see how badly this dweeb rips off X-E.

Anybody else in the Seattle Area, check it out. I think they also rerun it on the news channel that covers Idaho, Oregon, and Washington.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris Martin @ 11/23/2005 09:53 PM EST

With thanksgiving brings a horrid tradition that I despise. And this year was no exception. The pep rally at school. It is a shameless and tasteless display of school spirit that shows it self for a day, then dissapears for the rest of the year. This years festivities included people screaming and clapping after every single sentence uttered by the MC, men in dresses dancing, dudes kissing other dudes, people in bodypaint, and other horrors. God I hate the pep rally.

Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 11/23/2005 10:48 PM EST

I have to say, our tasting party was a smashing success. By far the worst were Turkey & Gravy and Wild Herb Dressing. WHD being the supreme evil.

We also had some Japanese drinks. Tamarind was the worst. Aloe Vera was chewy but suprising good.

That is all. Oh and Smoked Salmon Pate tastes like car exhaust.

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 11/23/2005 11:33 PM EST

As mentioned in last years article...I really didn't like it when my one(1) Christmas video game was "Columns"

There was also the year when my parents decided my brother and sister were too old for Santa, and despite me being the youngest by 2 years I was not going to be getting any "Santa" presents either.

By the way, Xmas this year will be in San Antonio, this follows North Carolina last year, Iraq the year before, Oklahoma area the year before that, Home in the Midwest the year before that and California the year before that...

Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 11/25/2005 06:34 PM EST

Silkenray- Sorry for the late post. I went to England for Thanksgiving at my mother-in-law's house. Not sure if I would want to be in England fulltime, the exchange rate is terrible, I'd have to relearn how to drive on the other side of the road, and they have no sports whatsoever I like.

Glad to be back in Deutschland.

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

Chestnuts roasted by Erik Majorwitz @ 11/28/2005 10:12 AM EST