The last blog entry, which eventually morphed into the Saturday Night Thread, makes me fear not being here for any future Saturday Night Threads. I mean really.
Just got back from a little vacation in Salem, Massachusetts. The town of witches, it is! Learn some about it in the first entry of a three part Halloween Countdown series detailing the highlights of my trip by clicking here. A more ghoulish look at the town's offerings comes tomorrow!
REPLIES: 88 comments
First post. I wish you would have told me you were going to salem, I would have went too and stalked you. Hah.
Chestnuts roasted by Tom No Like @ 10/17/2005 02:13 PM EST
I want to go to Salem! Maybe a trip next Halloween...
Chestnuts roasted by Rosella @ 10/17/2005 02:15 PM EST
Wow, how much did "Kitty Crap" cost?
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/17/2005 02:18 PM EST
That is the strangest version of Freddy I've ever seen. His pants & shoes make him look like a skater. And is he doing the pee pee dance?
Chestnuts roasted by violetdied @ 10/17/2005 02:21 PM EST
There's a great joke shop in Boston, right near Chinatown. It's called Jack's Joke Shop. It has roughly, I dunno, 5 times more pranks and stuff than that cart. Great place. Also right next to Chinatown is the biggest costume shop I've ever been to, but, hey. I'm sure there's bigger. I'm sure there's much bigger.
Chestnuts roasted by Tom No Like @ 10/17/2005 02:31 PM EST
Hahaha!! That guy on the "Brain Floss" box ROCKS. http://www.x-entertainment.com/halloween/2005/october17/store2.jpg
Also, I hope you went to the Salem Wax Museum!
Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 10/17/2005 02:41 PM EST
Woo I've never gotten a post in this close to the top! This is very interesting to me because a good friend of mine has her manfriend in Salem and visits it often so its cool to see a report on the city and its atmosphere. Been wanting to go myself though really.
Chestnuts roasted by Kittycatgirl @ 10/17/2005 02:43 PM EST
Salem looks like a fun place, but you got to feel a bit sorry for the residents there during Halloween. However, one thing Salem residents might not want you to know is that the "witches" actually lived in Danvers, which is the next town over.
Chestnuts roasted by Andrew @ 10/17/2005 02:53 PM EST
The Brain Floss guy looks like he should have guest starred on Perfect Strangers.
Chestnuts roasted by Jessica Marie @ 10/17/2005 02:55 PM EST
I've never been to Salem during october and I never really went into many shops there. Maybe next year.
MATT- I got my issue of ToyFare in the mail today and your bit with the Gi Joes rocks! Cobra Commander Craps Corn!
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 10/17/2005 03:00 PM EST
TomNoLike, I've been in that store, and everything you said is true. Maybe even an understatement. The place has been around longer than most X-E readers have been alive (I think it's over 50 years... there must be a few 50-somethings who read X-E, right? yeah, I don't think so either), and it's unbelievably packed with greatness.
Chestnuts roasted by Vegan Mike @ 10/17/2005 03:09 PM EST
Oh snap this is gonna be great! Can't wait to read all three 
The last thread was a little bit of a cluster eff...hope a few apples don't ruin the fun for the rest of us. X-E is my new Saturday night thing.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 10/17/2005 03:12 PM EST
Number #14. Yeah!!!
And new updates...Yeah!!!
Oh yeah!!!
Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz
Chestnuts roasted by Erik Majorwitz @ 10/17/2005 03:18 PM EST
Salem looks like an extremely cool place to be this time of year. I bet THEY know how to express their Halloween spirit. I bet THEIR Wal-Mart doesn't start packing up Halloween stuff fifteen days before the actual holiday to make room for giant plastic illuminated Santas. I mean, seriously, folks. If you buy the illuminated Santa today, you've got a long, sad wait until Christmas, and I don't know about you guys, but I don't think my holly-jolly can stretch that thin. Show some moderation.
Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 10/17/2005 03:21 PM EST
Wow-zee-wow-wow! Now that is a Hallowe'en store! Ol' Wooden Freddy up there looks like he was in a Marinara accident. "I'll get your children where you can't help them.... In Their Pasta!"
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 10/17/2005 03:30 PM EST
To those who have Digital Cable as well as the Music Choice series of channels: the Sounds of the Seasons channel (Which is channel 541 for me) has updated and will now play Halloween music until November first. For those who don't know, Music Choice plays music 24/7/365 with no commercials, and contains Artist/Song/Album info as well as trivia about the song/artist (or for the Sounds of the Seasons channel, information about the holiday). The Sounds of the Seasons channel plays (you guessed it) music to match whichever seasons/holiday it happens to be.
Chestnuts roasted by Brian @ 10/17/2005 03:31 PM EST
Brian, speaking of digital cable, I just discovered the following while going through the On Demand sections:
Something Weird Video and Comcast Cable Give TV Viewers A Chance To Get WEIRD!
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 10/17/2005 03:41 PM EST
Here are IMDB's listings for Something Weird in case you have never heard of the company before.
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 10/17/2005 03:45 PM EST
Salem is awesome!!!i went there on a school field trip a couple of years ago, i'm pretty sure we went into that magic parlor, I BOUGHT LICORICE!!!!!!we also went into this room which i think was next to the giftshop in some church, there was some freakyshit goin on in there, it was very cool.
Chestnuts roasted by Ryan @ 10/17/2005 03:46 PM EST
Last post, but until just now I knew of the company more as a crappy old movie distributor than a place to find old sex films.
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 10/17/2005 03:48 PM EST
There's a great joke shop in Boston, right near Chinatown. It's called Jack's Joke Shop.
I'm pretty sure that same place got a shout out on Family Guy. Stewie plugs it twice in the episode Lethal Weapons, you should check it out and make sure he's talking about the same one.
and FINALLY an update!
1) Still no Frankenberry find on Long Island, please give me tips thank you!
2) For info on my Great Adventure trip on saturday, check out the last thread, I don't feel like telling the story twice.
Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 10/17/2005 04:00 PM EST
ME- I was looking at the listings of films that you linked to. I didn't even know some of kinds of films existed. I have to take a shower now. Several showers 
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 10/17/2005 04:01 PM EST
Anyone remember that movie Hocus Pocus? That movie made me want to go to Salem so bad. About a year back I watched it again and laughed at all the sexual stuff injected throughout the movie. Great times.
Chestnuts roasted by Phil @ 10/17/2005 04:12 PM EST
Phil- I remember that movie. I was disturbed when the cat became the ghost of that dead boy and then the girl and the boy kissed. I think they did. Would that count as beastiality? I also remember when the fat commic releaf witch used a vacuum cleaner instead of a broom to fly.
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 10/17/2005 04:16 PM EST
Yes they did kiss, and yes, it does count. One more odd thing about that movie... how many more to go?
Chestnuts roasted by Phil @ 10/17/2005 04:23 PM EST
im so high.....
damn it! why am i always late to read the articles and leave first post!
Chestnuts roasted by skynet1984 @ 10/17/2005 04:58 PM EST
SQUEE4242- In your first post are you insinuating that I am a fleshy usually rounded and red, yellow, or green edible pome fruit of a tree (genus Malus) of the rose family? If so I challenge you to a duel, but we will not fight with weapons but with jazz! I expect to see you at dawn tomorrow!
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 10/17/2005 05:32 PM EST
You think there's a way to combine items from one half of the store with items from the other half? Whoopie Cushions that contain money spells? It's not just fake poo in a can, it's also a love potion!
Click my name for a print-your-own pendulum board project from a site featured on Fark a few days ago.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 10/17/2005 05:33 PM EST
Matt, you got MAD RESTRAINT, yo! I'd 'a been hard pressed to avoid choosing any product known as "Sticky Shit" (shown in the second picture of the Wall O' Gags). Perhaps it came down to a vomit vs. poo decision, a battle tantamount to "Alien Versus Predator" or "Freddy Versus Jason." You arer a stronger man than I.
Chestnuts roasted by Thorzuul @ 10/17/2005 05:35 PM EST
Does anyone know how the spray-poo works? Does it look real? What's it made of?
I think I have to take a three hour road trip for a can of poo.
(Yes, I know I could get it online...there's no adventure in that, fo' sho'.)
Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 10/17/2005 05:45 PM EST
That sounds like a good topic for a Saturday night thread. "What's the furthest you've gone for a can of fake shit?"
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/17/2005 05:58 PM EST
I was looking through the Fye flyer and noticed in the thriller or drama section a movie called "The Witches of Breastwick" and I thought "Waaaaaait a minute". That is all. The End.
Chestnuts roasted by Kennef @ 10/17/2005 06:26 PM EST
Love the brain floss picture!!!!!!
"The Witches of Breastwick"??? You sure you were looking at the Drama section??? I used to work in a video store, and it is the only one in town with an adult section. Which meant that all the creepy, seedy, pedifiles and weirdos in town came to it. Some guy rented "One Night in Paris" or something of that nature one time and I think he stared at my breasts the entire time. Yuck. Perv.
Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 10/17/2005 08:00 PM EST
Nice! I love Salem. Go every October- went twice on Halloween, never again. Its insane. I brought a bunch of Parisians there this summer- some of them dint speak too much English, and they had no idea what was going on. Then I brought them to the Salem Witch Museum. And got them French headphones. Voila!!
Yeah, great town. Did you visit Bunghole Liquors?
Chestnuts roasted by dj BC @ 10/17/2005 08:28 PM EST
This article makes me want New Orleans back. Yeah, it never had the shear overwhelming "witchocity" of a place like Salem, but between the haunted history tours and the occasional voodoo shop, it was sort of the same thing.
Was it cheesey? Absolutely. But it was fun, and I want it BACK. NOW.
Chestnuts roasted by The Wukong Effect @ 10/17/2005 08:29 PM EST
dj BC -- Yup, you'll see B.L. this week!
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 10/17/2005 08:30 PM EST
You know where else has a kind of Old New England wiccan vibe? Old York, in Maine. Full of stores with overprices candles and people wandering around wearing hooded robes.
My mom and sister and I went while on vacation in Ogunquit and took a "haunted tour", which consisted of a fat guy in a purple velvet cape taking us through historic cemetaries. Hoot and a half - except for when my sister and I realized that maybe taking my mom on a tour of graves was in poor taste, given that she was dying of breast cancer at the time. Mom thought it was funny, though, and made sure that she was the last person to step out of the cemetary ("Last out, first in" intoned Fat Velvet.)
Chestnuts roasted by gadgetsgirl @ 10/17/2005 08:43 PM EST
It looks kinda like Freddy doing a mixture of B-Boy moves from New York circa 1983, riverdance, and that russian dance Fonzi did in that one episode of Happy Days. Also in light of the X-E movie we must include the shitty game room and that godawful mini golf place too...Robin WIlliams as Spidey Bum and Bronson Pinchot as Mr. Peanut!!!!
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/17/2005 09:14 PM EST
While the historical vibes in Southern New Jersey are 50s doo-wop (Wildwood - not that there's much left of it) and Victorian (Cape May), I'm quite familiar with scads of tourists, gift shops that sell (mostly) junk, and the attendant industries. I've lived in tourist traps literally all my life - I was born in the ulitmate spring break destination, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. For me, Salem would be like going home, only with witches and goblins on every other corner, and magic shops instead of antiques.
Speaking of Cape May, it's a fairly popular Halloween town as well, or so I've heard. If the several volumes of local ghost stories avalible and the "ghost-sighting tours" in town are any indication, there are more dead spirits living on Cape Island than live ones during the fall.
Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 10/17/2005 09:22 PM EST
The last time I was in Salem I wanted to get a picture of Bunghole Liquors but I didn't get the chance. Anyone know who named that store? My guess is an old senile man.
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 10/17/2005 09:25 PM EST
And now it's time for The Manimal to vent: I've never been to Salem but I think I am the camp that thinks (most) of the stuff up there trivializes a tragedy. The worst would be the Samantha from Bewitched statue recently put up (here's a good quote: "It's like TV Land going to Auschwitz and proposing to erect a statue of Colonel Klink," says John Carr, a former member of the Salem Historic District Commission). I know that tourism is inevitable (especially in this festive time of year ) but why not with more class/respect to the 19 dead? I guess I should be over something that happened 400 years ago but the purist in me won't allow it. Am I wrong? Hope I wasn't TOO much of a wet blanket with my sentiments but I know that at least one person agrees with me...
Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 10/17/2005 09:25 PM EST
I'm sorry for posting twice in such a short amount of time but I came up with an immature joke that I know everyone will love. Hey Matt, I hope that you "probe" the depths of Bunghole liquors in your little tale of Salem. Get it. And the reason that I didn't get a pick was because my dad was driving and there was no way in hell that he was going to stop for something like that. I hate family vacations.
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 10/17/2005 09:39 PM EST
Crude as it sounds, I'm too detatched from something that happened 400 years ago to slam on people for making a buck off of it. It's a historical event that even the oldest person on Earth is generations removed from experiencing. Sure it was bad, but there's no sense in angsting over something we can't reverse, and if some people can make a living from it and entertain a few people, so be it. There are far, far worse travesties out there.
Chestnuts roasted by The Wukong Effect @ 10/17/2005 09:51 PM EST
There are about three Hollywood movies in various stages of preproduction right now about the attacks on September 11.
There's no room for tact when there's money to be made.
Chestnuts roasted by mtrox @ 10/17/2005 10:24 PM EST
Have you seen this new product "Urine Gone"? It would be one thing if they just said it gets rid of the smell but they've got the whole black-light thing going on--hey, you even get a free pocket one for ordering--implying that it makes the urine disappear.
How is this not going to end up like Envy? Hope they've got some pocket-flan up their sleeve.
Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 10/17/2005 10:26 PM EST
yes i have seen urine gone...and i hope to never see that commercial ever again..
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/17/2005 11:03 PM EST
Anyone seen the latest "King" commercial? Its the freakiest ever...He's got BUG EYES IN IT!!! AND HE ALMOST KILLS THE CONSTRUCTION WORKER!!!!! I WILL NEVER DRINK BURBGER KING COFFEE AND/OR WORK CONSTRUCTION FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE!
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/17/2005 11:05 PM EST
To be fair, the construction worker seems pretty alright with having almost been killed by the wired King.
And who can blame him.
Chestnuts roasted by The Wukong Effect @ 10/17/2005 11:10 PM EST
damn hocus pocus, word.. i remember watchin that back in the day and thinkin how sexy sarah michelle-or-whatever-her-name-is- jessica parker.. i remember weren't her boobs enormous?
i gotta rent that.. ANYWAY, that somethin weird shit is tite!
and kudos to matt tite ass article, 3 part adventures (a trilogy if u will) are hot
Chestnuts roasted by diamondzdigidul @ 10/17/2005 11:13 PM EST
I hate Albert Pujols.
Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz
Chestnuts roasted by Erik Majorwitz @ 10/18/2005 12:03 AM EST
Eh, he only prolonged the inevitable.
Unless the Cards pull a Red Sox 2K5, which seems unlikely. But ya never know.
Chestnuts roasted by The Wukong Effect @ 10/18/2005 01:06 AM EST
Squee4242
I actually had occasion to use that phrase at the grocery store when an apple fell out of the basket i was carrying. It was nice to use it in context.
Chestnuts roasted by Deuce23 @ 10/18/2005 01:14 AM EST
Um, I just got the 1989 Batman cereal on eBay and my friend and I were going to attempt to eat a bowl on camera. I was thinking this would be fine.....but lately I'm starting to reconsider. Bad idea?
Chestnuts roasted by Foodtouchdown @ 10/18/2005 02:57 AM EST
matt does it all the time right?
or does he qualify as a 'trained professional'?
Chestnuts roasted by diamondzdigidul @ 10/18/2005 03:07 AM EST
X-E: the movie opens with an animated short of Ghost With the Most: ghost 1 is played by Maurice LaMarche (voice of the Brain in Animaniacs) and ghost 2 is played by Casey Kasem for reasons i'm not really sure of...Special guest star is Super Articulate SPiderman figure (armed with crayons once again) who is voiced by Don Keith Opper of Critters fame.
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 10/18/2005 04:30 AM EST
dude the x-e movie would so rock
Chestnuts roasted by diamondzdigidul @ 10/18/2005 05:28 AM EST
You know, towns that have their own concrete themes are all well and good, but I tend to prefer those small towns scattered around that have nothing going for them but still want to have a weekend celebration that isn't the county fair. My home town is this sad little town in New Mexico, where the only thing of importance that ever happened was that they hanged a semi-famous outlaw named Blackjack Ketchum for train robbery. The awesome thing about it was that while they had him in prison, one of his bullet wounds became gangrenous, and they had to amputate it. Since they had never executed anyone before, they failed to account for this when they measured the drop on their makeshift gallows in front of the courtyard. As a result, when they hanged him he was so unbalanced that his head was torn completely off. It was one of the most botched hangings in the history of the West. And are we ashamed of this fact? No. No, we're really not. All of our "tourist" restaurants, including the Dairy Queen, have acutual black-and-white photos of the hanging, including ones with his head laying on the ground and the cameraman looking straight down the poor guy's neckhole.
Here's the worst part: our other two claims to fame are our copious CO2 mines in the surrounding countryside and a really neat set of dinosaur tracks out at our lake. Since Dioxide Days tested poorly with the consumer base, every year since I can remember, we had a festival during the summer called "Dinosaur Days." You know, with a parade featuring some giant dinosaur models, and a free showing of some dinosaur movies at the local one-screen theater, and a bunch of booths on main street where everyone sells foam dinosaur gliders and dinosaur puppets and dinosaur t-shirts and roasted green chiles. It's New Mexico, somebody's always selling roasted green chiles.
Until my sophomore year in high school, that is. That was when our Right Honourable Council of Crazy Old Men and that One Crazy Old Woman decided to go back to our roots. That's right. Blackjack Ketchum days. INCUDING a reenactment of the hanging. There were also dinosaur foam gliders, but just because all the booth people had stock left over from last year.
And so I left. I went to college, and I returned home as rarely as possible. And I will stay away for as long as it takes until they stop being dumbasses and go back to the dinosaurs. Or at least the CO2 angle.
Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 10/18/2005 07:18 AM EST
You were in Salem and you didn't tell me?? Bastard. I coulda got your autograph, and a picture of you, or something!
Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 10/18/2005 09:38 AM EST
And how did you manage to get suck sunny pictures? It's poured for like, 10 days straight here, except yesterday and a teeny window on Sunday...
Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 10/18/2005 09:41 AM EST
Hey Man,
Cool article. Can't wait for the rest of the trilogy. These 3 part articles are sorely missed. Thanks for taking the time to write about your cool adventures.
Chestnuts roasted by Texican @ 10/18/2005 10:06 AM EST
I just bought the Burger King mask from BK.com. I can't wait to scare kids with it and then give them the Enormous Omelet Sandwich. Speaking of which, have you all seen the new I-beam King commercial? Click here http://www.adage.com/news.cms?newsId=46232 and scroll down to see it. It's one of the best.
Chestnuts roasted by King Chachi @ 10/18/2005 11:36 AM EST
Dioxide Daze sounds like a good theme. I want to see the Fire Extinguisher Parade and the Bare-handed Dry Ice Relay Run.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 10/18/2005 12:12 PM EST
I just read the following headline on Yahoo news:
"Photog wins appeal in Kidman bugging case"
PFC Bitner must be very proud!!!
Chestnuts roasted by The Iron Claw @ 10/18/2005 12:30 PM EST
I make no claims of having created this...but it's awesome...
NLCS Tix in Crawford boxes: $100
Foam Cowboy Hat: $10
Cheap Berkman Jersey: $60
Watching a REAL Homerun go OVER your head: PRICELESS.
There are SOME homeruns BAD ballparks CAN buy.
For everything else, there's Pujols.
GO CARDS!
(we now return you to your normal X-E banter)
Chestnuts roasted by bad karma @ 10/18/2005 01:38 PM EST
Whoever mentioned the Batman cereal, I've heard that stuff decomposes into goop. Some dude bought an old box of Lucky Charms, and he opened it to find nothing but rainbow colored crap inside.
Chestnuts roasted by Red Bullet @ 10/18/2005 02:17 PM EST
You know, wasn't Days of Our Lives based in Salem? Not that I'VE ever watched the show, I've just heard.....really....
Chestnuts roasted by Galvatron @ 10/18/2005 02:30 PM EST
it was based in Salem, but they didn't say WHICH Salem... oh those tricksters
Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 10/18/2005 02:49 PM EST
Dude, Matt, you go to Salem and buy stuff from a place like that and, like, 80% of it is stuff we used to sell at my tiny commercial bookstore (rhymes with "Sea, Salton"
? Shame on you, Consumer Joe. We didn't carry any fennel, so maybe you're onto something... Dig the vomit, though. If only we'd sold that. I'd have gotten a sweet, sweet 30% off. I appear to be really into percentage... And ellipses...
Chestnuts roasted by fischgeist @ 10/18/2005 02:52 PM EST
I once shared an elevator with "Voice of Brain" at an old time radio convention...he was doing Orson Welles in the featured radio play, but I was dying to gush about loving his Brainy work. I resisted the impulse though, cause I could tell he wanted to be recognized for his dignified radio work, and not for TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. You know, as a mouse.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 10/18/2005 03:01 PM EST
Vincent D'Onofrio with the voice of The Brain in Ed Wood is classic.
Chestnuts roasted by fischgeist @ 10/18/2005 03:08 PM EST
Old Batman cereal shouldnt be too nasty actually. Steve from thesneeze.com once ate some Urkle-o's that were from 92' or something and he said they still tasted pretty good! Check it out (its in th `Steve don't eat it' link) some of the stuff he's eaten looks pretty foul. Natto anyone?
Chestnuts roasted by MissKitty @ 10/18/2005 03:22 PM EST
Maurice LaMarche's "Brain" voice is a modified Orson Wells. "They're even better when you're dead!" You should have asked if he could do the opening speech from the "War of the Worlds" broadcast.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 10/18/2005 03:23 PM EST
I was telling my boyfriend about Maurice LaMarche (couldn't remember the name at the time) on Saturday, and the Orson Welles thing. 7 years ago, my brother and I thought the impression on "The Critic" was always funny, and we found a picture of Orson Welles on a CD-ROM encyclopedia. We cracked up!!!!!
I hope the Cardinals get into the Series, but I am going to root for the White Sox (since the Angels beat the Yanks in the ALDS--I'm an extremely bitter Yanks fan). I also don't like the Astros, b/c I still think Roger Clemens is a traitor who said he was going to retire, so the Yanks give him a day and an SUV, only for him to remove himself from retirement a few months later and join the Astros. F*** you, Clemens!!! I also used to like Andy Pettite, but of course, he went there too.
I'm just glad the Sox (Red Sox) were eliminated from the ALDS. The last thing I EVER want to see is another Series w/the Sox. Sure, they play great (and always give the Yanks a run for their astronomical budget) but their attitudes make them less deserving of any title. I also can't stand Captain Caveman--er, I mean Johnny Damon. Wow, that was good, I never called him that before. I like that. I'm glad Pedro Martinez went to the Mets, b/c I can't stand him either. Nice to see him knocked down a peg or two. Good for the ego.
Ok, I'm done now.
Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 10/18/2005 03:57 PM EST
wow, I live about a 1/2 mile from some of the places youve visited in Salem, it's so cool to see something from around here on your site.
Chestnuts roasted by John @ 10/18/2005 04:55 PM EST
Ohhh, I almost forgot! I gotta tell you guys that my boyfriend got tickets to see George Carlin on December 10th in Atlantic City. I'm really looking forward to this. This has been the year of stand-up comedy for us. Let me give you a little rundown of who we saw, where we saw them, and who we are seeing (Carlin isn't the only upcoming).
Dennis Miller-April 22, 2005 Borgata Atlantic City, NJ
Jay Leno-July 9, 2005
Harrah's Atlantic City, NJ
Richard Jeni-August 20, 2005
Trump Marina Altantic City, NJ
Howie Mandel-November 11, 2005
Tropicana Atlantic City, NJ
George Carlin-December 10, 2005
Caesar's Atlantic City, NJ
I'd say we did pretty good this year w/the shows, haven't we?
Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 10/18/2005 05:02 PM EST
Is Brain even a modified version of Welles? For those of you haven't ever heard the infamous frozen peas "IN July" Orson Welles bit I looked up an mp3. If you've ever seen the Critic and wondered what the deal is with the fishsticks, you gotta hear this.
IIRC I shared the elevator with LaMarche after watching him perform as Welles in a recreation of The Maltese Falcon and it was all very impressive and fancy so I was too bashful for requests...Wikipedia is leading me to believe that I could have gotten him to do "Frozen Peas" though!
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 10/18/2005 05:32 PM EST
squee (and other fellow Maurice LaMarche fans), the Frozen Peas scene from the episode Eye On The Prize (and later reshown in I Can't Believe It's a Clipshow) is one of my all-time favorite moments on The Critic, follwed by the Orson Welles appearance in Frankie & Ellie Get Lost (with his intro to Mr & Mrs Sherman's video will and the Mrs Pell's Fishsticks rant) and the Ghostbusters parody where NYC is being attacked by an 80 ft tall Ed Koch
And the best character on that show was definately Franklin Sherman, Jay's dad.
"Penguins can't fly! PENGUINS CAN'T FLY!!"
Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 10/18/2005 05:44 PM EST
mtrox, since nobody answered your question, the spray-poo is brown foam, like that bathtub foam little kids play with in the tub, and it smells pretty bad. Me and my friend got some at JACK'S JOKE SHOP! About a year ago.
I love that place, the guy that works there(I don't know if that's "Jack," but he's been there when I've gone) is funny. He's always tricking people, messing with the pranks, it's great. Last time I was there he was showing everybody the Brain Floss. Whee!
Chestnuts roasted by Tom No Like @ 10/18/2005 05:52 PM EST
Oh yeah, and he told me to open a little plastic toilet. So what do I do, but open it. And get water all over my shirt, which prompted my brother to ask the guy, "HEY WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE I WANT ONE." Well.... I think it was water.
Chestnuts roasted by Tom No Like @ 10/18/2005 05:53 PM EST
"...And their green pea-ness."
LaMarche also does a great Maxwell Smart/Inspector Gadget, and I saw him on a Entertainment Tonight segment once looping for Lovitz, who was out of town when lines needed to be redone.
(Okay, a slightly modified Welles.)
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash also understands the silverware @ 10/18/2005 06:11 PM EST
Salem looks rad...can't wait to read the rest of it! But hey, Matt...If you like small town tourist traps that rip you off (and make you think it's cool to do so), I strongly recomend you check out the only town in the US called Metropolis. Due to this fact, it's become the "official home of Superman". That's right...the "official" Superman town. There's a huge statue of ol' Supes himeself standing outside the court house, and there's a couple of cheesy museums and gift shops that are ripe for the X-E treatment!
The only problem for you is...Metroplois is located in southern Illnois...kind of a long drive...But hey! Plan it as a trip and go during the "Superman Celebration" during the second weekend in june. That's when the town sets up the carnival crap and invite celebrity guests. People like Alex Ross, Valerine Perine (If that's how you spell that...uh, the hot chick from the Superman movies), the original Lois Lane from the old George Reeves TV series, and even Adam West! Yeah, he's not a Superman related actor, but so what? He's on Family Guy so he's cool!
There's also this one gift shop that, If I know anything about your buying habits from reading this site, you'll want to blow every dime you have in. Old 70's Sci-Fi mags from the 70's, action figures from the 80's, autrographed pictures, just too much shit to list here. Check it out!
Oh, one more thing...Will you ever do a article on Knotts Scary Farm? To me (a Callifornia native) nothing says Halloween quite like Knotts.
Anyway...great countdown this year! I'll check back later today for Salem part 2!
Chestnuts roasted by Antenna Villain @ 10/18/2005 06:39 PM EST
Man, I miss The Critic. There was a horribly underrated classic.
Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 10/18/2005 07:12 PM EST
Antenna Villain- I've been to Metroplois more times than I could count even though I live 11 hours away and I don't have a drivers liscnense. I totally spelled that wrong but I don't give a poop. I was there over the summer and I was disapointed to find that the gift shop was basicaly cleaned out. All they had was super man and D.C. stuff. The time before I had gotten an old star destroyer model from 1980. The only non D.C. items I could find were a few old G.I. comic books. Not that I don't love G.I. Joe.
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 10/18/2005 07:15 PM EST
"Here under protest is beef-burgers". That so makes me want to name my band Beef-Burgers and have someone who doesn't want us playing their club say that.
That was transcendent. My second fav part was his offer to go-down on the copy editor, or whoever that was.
Flan-tastic 
Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 10/18/2005 07:21 PM EST
Flan-tastic!
Wow! That's terrific bass!
Chestnuts roasted by fischgeist @ 10/19/2005 02:55 AM EST
Hey, let's go to the crappy small town where I'M the hero.
Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 10/19/2005 07:16 AM EST
And the Lord did say, "Banneth Thy thou retched beef-burgers, for they do conjure festering demons that eat thy flesh."
Really, who says 'beef-burgers'?
Chestnuts roasted by Foodtouchdown @ 10/19/2005 08:50 PM EST
The scariest rides would have been Castle Dracula in Wildwood, the haunted attractions in Niagara Falls, Canada (they have one called Castle Dracula, too-and yes, it looks like a castle on the outside though it's sandwiched in between other buildings) there's also the Haunted House, and House of Frankenstein, Nightmares, Screamer's House of Horrors, etc. I was never at Niagara Falls, but I would like to go. I was so pissed when Castle Dracula in Wildwood burned, I was in that several times. And rebuilding seems highly unlikely. So, the only way for me to get my "castle" fix would be to go to Niagara Falls, cross the border, yada, yada, yada. The Castle Dracula and the others are only two-three blocks from the border. There's one problem: The US Govt. wants to require passports to cross any border out of the US by 2008. That's a big bummer because it would cost the four of us (all adults) Mom, brother, mom's male friend about $388 for four passports! Just to be able to cross over to Canada and come back! Plus it's a hassle getting them, you have to go in person to a post office and bring stuff with you like photos, birth cert. etc. Right now they'll let you into Canada with just a driver's license or state photo ID for non-drivers like me. But that will change in 2008.
Chestnuts roasted by Robert @ 10/24/2005 04:54 PM EST
