09/16/2005 Entry: "Freddy Krueger's 900 Line!"

I'm going to be perfectly honest with you, here. I'm drunk. I just got home. I coworker had a b-day party after work, explaining the drunk part, and also explaining the part where I say "I don't feel like writing a blurb." So, very quickly, here: September 16th's contribution to the Halloween Countdown is an examination and PERSONAL STORY related to Freddy Krueger's old 900 number. Just eat it.

Wait, I mean a coworker.

11:45 PM Edit: I thought I could get away with saying "I'm drunk" and not sound stupid, but I did, and this proves that the phrase simply cannot be stated within the online medium without making the guilty party sound stupid.

But I really was drunk.

Chestnuts roasted by Modern Day Pirates @ 09/16/2005 12:35 AM EST

Rats so close to first
did anyone call the 900 numbers back in the day
i called the Parker Lewis hotline then a month later my mother disconnected every phone line in our house except the one in her room
woulld have served that bitch right if an ax murder had bust in, how would we have called for help?

Chestnuts roasted by corn @ 09/16/2005 12:48 AM EST

im your boyfriend now nancy...

Chestnuts roasted by james anthony ktu @ 09/16/2005 12:51 AM EST

I'M YOUR DJ NOW PRINCY!!!!!! AAHHH HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/16/2005 01:00 AM EST

I never knew anyone really called those things.

I also wish my gf didn't have to be to work so early tomorrow. =(

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff Mack @ 09/16/2005 01:05 AM EST

Good God, I remember seeing that on TV. It was bad enough that Nightmare on Elm Street scared the ever lovin shit outta me back then, but the idea of talking to Freddy himself? No Fucking Way- I was so scared to go to sleep, the only kid in the 4th grade with bags under his eyes, Fuck you Krueger

Chestnuts roasted by Spectre1979 @ 09/16/2005 01:14 AM EST

My favorite episode of Growing Pains centered around Ben calling a 900 phone sex line. CLASSIC!!!

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/16/2005 01:15 AM EST

I said yo Fred I think you got me all wrong I ain't partners with nobody with nails that long. Look I'll be honest man this team wont work. The girls wont be on you Fred your face is all burnt...

All this from the man who, a decade later would bring the world of popular music such renowned fare as "Gettin' Jiggy With It" and "Just The Two Of Us"

Chestnuts roasted by james anthony ktu @ 09/16/2005 01:29 AM EST

Seeing more of the jukebox.....it's awesome. All the stories were true. Huzzah.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 09/16/2005 01:31 AM EST

I never called any 900 numbers as a kid. I did call 800 HI WALLY a thousand times, as advertised on all the cafeteria sporks. Later on we'd make up dirty phrases and dial them with 800 prefixes from the payphones

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 09/16/2005 02:16 AM EST

You'll need to be drunk to enjoy W.W.E. Unforgiven this Sunday..

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 09/16/2005 02:26 AM EST

I called the 900 number for that bird, uh.......so tired can't think of his name woody wood pecker thats it.

Matt you ever run across Holloween themed booze? Like Corona with a bat on it heh

Chestnuts roasted by the80sruled @ 09/16/2005 02:55 AM EST

The Body by Jake Ab Scissor infomercial is on ABC Family Channel as we speak....hehehe he said ab scissor again!!

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/16/2005 03:08 AM EST

You think the "I coworker" was intentional, or are we really talking lost brain cell territory here?

Chestnuts roasted by Johnny Thunder @ 09/16/2005 03:12 AM EST

haha i did that too squee.

Chestnuts roasted by dave @ 09/16/2005 03:24 AM EST

It was a cold night, when i was babysitting a looooooong time ago, i decided after the kid fell asleep on the couch, i called the freddy line and sticked the phone on the kids ear. God, i'm such an asshole.

Chestnuts roasted by me @ 09/16/2005 06:05 AM EST

Hey, Matt, Big N just released to the world their new controller for the Revolution. You keep saying how you barely reached the N64, I'd love to hear what you think of this one.

Chestnuts roasted by Roddy @ 09/16/2005 07:20 AM EST

I remember that commercial very well. Never called because it was a 900 # and I saw how my older brother got reamed for the charges he rang up on some other worthless audiobook type line. Thanks for the flashback, though, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Jimbalaya @ 09/16/2005 07:29 AM EST

Oh Lord...I remember this as the one 900 number I ever dialed. All I remember is Freddy telling me, with total disgust, something to the effect of "Halloween is coming, and all you little kids out there in your costumes and makeup better look out...'cause Freddy's going to be out there too!" I didn't even really get in trouble for it...it showed up on the bill and my parents just told me not to do it again. They asked me what number it was and I was too embarrassed to tell them it was Freddy's. My parents were pretty strait-laced...I wasn't allowed to watch wrestling at home because my dad thought it was stupid and they certainly didn't see the appeal in horror films, so I just meekly said "It was a horror number" and they left it at that...god knows if it HAD been a sex number and they found out...I was lucky to avoid any uncomfortable discussions about sex when I was a kid.

Chestnuts roasted by Will @ 09/16/2005 09:17 AM EST

So did you and your sister get into trouble with your parents when they saw the phone bill Matt?

They recently released comic book minis featuring Freddy, Jason, and Leatherface. They were so successful there making sequels to them. They would be good to review.

Recently, horror comics have been coming back into vogue (Especially Steve Nies zombie ones). I saw a Dracula retelling, A Bigfoot comic, Marvel is doing a Creature Commandos series amd released a Devil Dinosaur tpb, George Romero Rob Zombie have comic books. Not to mention the continuing Buffy comic.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 09/16/2005 09:23 AM EST

I remember that commercial as well. I don't remember if I called it though. Didn't it come on a lot durring the Nightmare on Elm Street TV series? My friends and I watched that shit all the time. I called a couple of those 900 numbers but I can't remember which ones. I think I called the Grandpa Munster 900 number back in the late 80's. Ahh the memories.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 09/16/2005 09:28 AM EST

I never called 900 lines. The kids at school tried to tell me how awesome they were, but I said, "You see the cost per minute? My math skills suck, and even I can see you are going to have to explain the phone bill to the parents." One kid who thought he was bad ass (sssssssssssssssssssss) ended up getting his calling privileges pulled for a month over monster lines. His buds would call his house, just to hear his mama say he can't come to the phone.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 09/16/2005 11:36 AM EST

Man, I'm oddly relieved to hear that I'm not the only one who got my chuckles from dialing dirty numbers on the school payphone. Looking back, I'm honestly surprised at how seldom my friends and I came up with a dud. The one I am least proud of, and which still wakes me up at night on occasion? 1-800-DOGDICK. Seldom have I been so relieved not to have a credit card.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 09/16/2005 11:44 AM EST

Did anyone ever call1-800-5-france? My friends and I use to call that all the time and laugh. I guess someone speaking french is pretty funny to a 6th graders ears. I still have no idea what the purpose of that number was. It surely wasn't there for idiot 6th grade american kids to call on friday nights and giggle.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff again @ 09/16/2005 11:53 AM EST

The only 900 number I remember calling was one of the psychic lines where the first 5 minutes were free and the first four were spent on nonsense. A friend of mine and I would time the calls and keep calling back making up birthdates and enormous problems to bother the fake psychics with.
At that time I remember doing alot of prank calling too. Pre caller ID. I miss being able to call anonomously.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 09/16/2005 11:55 AM EST

I remember this commercial. Though I never had the balls (figuratively or literally) to actually call it.

Chestnuts roasted by Rosella @ 09/16/2005 11:56 AM EST

i'm ashamed to say that i called the new kids on the block 900 number. i got in a good bit of trouble, and it SO wasn't worth it!

Chestnuts roasted by bitchpants @ 09/16/2005 12:26 PM EST

So did your parents lock you in the attic when the phone bill came? Inquiring minds want to know.

Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 09/16/2005 12:44 PM EST

Okay I was a little hesitant to admit my smutty phone line delinquency but I see I wasn't the only rotten kid around. Didn't anyone else call Hi Wally back in the day? Last I checked (a few months back) the number still worked.
Hey King your comment makes me wonder if you can tell me...is Badassssssss any good? I picked it up used, along with the comedy classic I Downloaded A Ghost, but I haven't watched it yet. I did watch Dl'd a Ghost...can't recommend that one unless you're a diehard Carlos Alazraqui fan. Not good enough to be good, but not quite bad enough to be good either. The concept is genius, though.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 09/16/2005 02:06 PM EST

Carlos was the voice of Rocco in Rocco's Modern Life.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/16/2005 02:32 PM EST

Oh yeah, and he was the voice of the Taco Bell chiuauah.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/16/2005 02:35 PM EST

Badassss is pretty good, and see "Sweet Sweetback's..." too. Kinda like watching Citizen Kane, then the HBO movie about what Welles had to go through to make it.
Thanks to Harvey Birdman, I can't even think of the term "Bad Ass" right now without thinking of the Magilla Gorilla case.
Birdman: State your name for the court.
Mr. Peebles: Melvin Peebles.
Melvin Van Peebles, from the gallery, flanked by two hot babes: Bad-assssssssssssssssssss.....
B-man: Now, state for....
MVP: ...ssssssssssssssssssss....
Harvey: Now....
MVP: ...sssssssssssssssss....

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 09/16/2005 03:00 PM EST

tna is no threat 2 wwe

Chestnuts roasted by wooooo @ 09/16/2005 03:30 PM EST

Drinking on a school night...what a rotten example you set for us all.

Chestnuts roasted by The Yeti @ 09/16/2005 04:32 PM EST

Track 21 keeps crashing on me. (the one after White Zombie's "I'm Your Boogie Man"

Chestnuts roasted by Teen Wolf Too @ 09/16/2005 04:41 PM EST

Matt...glad to see you put my video to good use! Excellent article! Happy to drudge up those memories for ya!

Chestnuts roasted by "Eric S." or EtHM @ 09/16/2005 06:05 PM EST

I know these fellas have a special place in your heart, Matt.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/mariofbomb.html

Chestnuts roasted by Kristal @ 09/16/2005 07:00 PM EST

I was just at the grocery and Martha Stewerts Halloween Issue is out. I love Martha. She loves Halloween.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 09/16/2005 07:06 PM EST

And Martha loves you, kb.

I never called these 900 #s. Not crazy enough I guess. I don't think I would ever want my parents to find out.

The only 800 #s I ever called are for the movie theater and the M&M color choice (pink, pastel blue, or purple) in '95. I do *69 alot for hang-up calls, but my ex-bf used to say "that costs 75 cents!" U see why he's my ex-bf?

Remember The Dionne Warwick Psychic Friends Hotline in the '90s? Man, she's creeeeeepy! Nostrils so big they could double for a black hole. Didn't Wyle Coyote buy those from Acme to trap the Roadrunner? I'm a female cross between Dennis Miller and the Dirty Dozens sketch from In Living Color. And you all love it.

Miss Cleo was classic. I had tapes (upon tapes--before I trashed most of them) with commercials for Miss Cleo back in 2001. "Call me now, babies!"

By the way, Jeff, does 1800-5-france still work? How long ago were u in 6th grade? I may have to try that 1-800-HIWALLY number. speaking of Wally, did you know that was the name of the cartoon "Where's Waldo" in Australia? Little bit of trivia I picked up from Internet Movie Database.

2 Simpsons References--Bart looking at a Where's Waldo book, and Waldo is kinda just standing in an open space and Bart says "Waldo isn't trying anymore." And Lisa's obsession with the Corey hotline. I'm amazed that none of you remembered that one.

ME--you are my personal hero of the moment. That kid must have NEVER wanted you to babysit again. LMAO. My dad wanted to know what I was laughing at--I was reading your post. It's ok to admit you're an asshole in retrospect, but come on, you know you were cool to do that.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 09/16/2005 08:36 PM EST

I once attempted to call a 900 number where I was going to get to talk to Dracula himself, but m parents caught me when I was trying to decode the letters to numbers, and put the kibosh on my adventure.

Chestnuts roasted by Monkey King @ 09/16/2005 08:37 PM EST

And before I forget, a GREAT Martha Stewart ref that I should likely keep till Christmas. Anyone ever see the SNL skit "Martha Stewart Home for the Holidays Topless Christmas Special"? The one where she walks around with a black bar censoring her chest? When I was an impressionable 8th grader in the winter of '96, I did impersonations of her breast-shaking to "Jingle Bells." Ana Gasteyer cracked me up, and for some reason, every time I see her on TV, I think of that sketch. It cracks me up.

Martha still loves you, kb.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 09/16/2005 08:39 PM EST

Allison, please remember that me is different than ME. Although I too got into some trouble with the 900 numbers.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 09/16/2005 08:59 PM EST

kingklash One kid who thought he was bad ass (sssssssssssssssssssss)

I'm guessing you saw the new Harvey Birdman too, eh?

And I would still like some info on where I could find Frankenberry and/or Boo Berry here on Long Island. Thanks in advance.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 09/16/2005 09:44 PM EST

Poll:

I'm sick. Should I:

a) Get schwasted
b) Eat pizza
c) Get lizzaid
d) All of the above
e) None of the above

Chestnuts roasted by Kyle @ 09/16/2005 09:48 PM EST

I never called any hotline, but I DO have a "dark-and-scary-night" story which also, incidentally, involves babysitting. I was watching two kids in Rio Grande during my adolescent years. It was a bitter-cold February weekend night. South Jersey had just experienced a rare snowstorm, and everything was white-covered and icy. The wind blew something fierce, and clouds obscured the moon. I was bored and the kids were long in bed, so I turned on an old Bette Davis gothic horror flick, "Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte."

The house was one of the oldest in the area and made some of the strangest creaking noises in the history of New Jersey real estate. The back door hadn't latched properly and banged in the wind. Between the movie and the atmosphere, I was scared to death - I must have gotten up six times to check on the kids and the house. The parents were out at some hot nightspot near Ocean City, which is NOT that close to Rio Grande, and I was without transportation if I ran into an ax murderer of my own.

The only thing that happened was my own imagination running away with me. The movie ended. I went to sleep shivering and woke up feeling a bit silly, as the sun was shining, the parents were hungover but happy, the wind had diminished somewhat, and the kids hadn't heard a thing. That was the last time I watched a horror movie alone; the next time I watched anything like a horror film, I did it in a big, somewhat full movie theater with my (then) boyfriend on my arm.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 09/16/2005 10:26 PM EST

Invader Norbert Pathmark in Holbrook has Boo Berry and The Count
BJ's Wholesale club in Islandia has the Monsterlecious 3 pack
these are both in Suffolk COunty

Chestnuts roasted by corn @ 09/16/2005 10:57 PM EST

Thanx, corn but I live in Lindenhurst.

And I have no idea where those 2 towns even are. Holy crap, LI actually has a BJ's?!

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 09/16/2005 11:24 PM EST

Kyle,

I think you should get schwizzaided.

Chestnuts roasted by gramsci @ 09/16/2005 11:31 PM EST

Anyone ever see Chopping Mall? It's on Flix in a few minutes and I'm pretty excited. It was THE horror movie my best friend I would rent over and over again in 6th grade. I haven't seen it since. I'm sure it's pretty horrible but I'm all about the horror nostalgia tonight.

Chestnuts roasted by Carri @ 09/17/2005 12:48 AM EST

dont feel bad abour being drunk matt, im stuck in gtmo and thats all we have to do here...im sitting here, eating mcdonalds that the usa would call rancid, loving everything there is to do about halloween!

Chestnuts roasted by Jedimonkey @ 09/17/2005 01:34 AM EST

I cant believe Freddy Kreuger actually had a 900 line. Although ive seen stranger things.

Chestnuts roasted by ACIDMONKEY @ 09/17/2005 02:55 AM EST

I think I can die a happy man. Someone else has seen Chopping Mall.

Though THE movies of choice for myself and my friends were always the Sleepaway Camps.

Chestnuts roasted by AJ @ 09/17/2005 03:25 AM EST

I too am curious what happened when your parents got the bill???

Anyway I remember all those crazy 900 scams, I kinda miss them in a nostalgic I'm crazy kinda way.

Chestnuts roasted by Dustin @ 09/17/2005 09:10 AM EST

WB's new Saturday morning lineup is today. It premieres that new space Looney Tunes cartoon that's causing all that controversy. I'll watch it.

Is Miss Cleo still around? I know she got in trouble awhile ago for her hotline. Otherwise, the only 900 numbers left are the "romance" ones that show at 1 am.

I saw Halloween Snowballs the other day.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 09/17/2005 09:59 AM EST

You can find Frankenberry & Boo-Berry for 99 cents at some Big Lots stores here on Long Island.

Chestnuts roasted by gamera64 @ 09/17/2005 11:46 AM EST

SUMMERSLAM....You know the one...."Match made in Heaven" and "Match made in Hell"....Ultimate Warrior + Hulk Hogan VS. Sgt Slaughter and the evil Iraqis, AND Macho Man Marry-ing Miss Elizabeth. WOW. They set up a 1-900 number just for this Summerslam, so you could call in your wedding wishes, or help Macho Man through his wedding jitters. PLUS, they showed Macho Man and Miss Elizabeth throughout the entire night, getting ready, putting on dresses and pants, etc TALKING ON THE PHONE THE WHOLE TIME TO THE BASTARDS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET THROUGH!! Man, my fingers were sore due to my efforts to reach Macho Man that night, before the ceremony. But alas, I never got to wish them well....

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 09/17/2005 12:06 PM EST

Thanks for the tip, gamera64, but WHICH ones? I've checked a few in my area, and nothing has turned up. Maybe i'm looking for them too soon.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 09/17/2005 02:13 PM EST

Sadly, "Loonatics Unleashed" is somewhat generic. At least there's still "Duck Dodgers" on Cartoon Network. That's how you update a classic WB character!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash (...sssssssssssssssssssss....) @ 09/17/2005 02:26 PM EST

For Loonatics:

1) they should've kept the old designs and names. "Buzz Bunny" sounds a hell of a lot better than "Ace Bunny"

2) Road Runner's descendant talks, and his voice is Rob Paulson of all people!

All the old great WB directors are rolling in their graves so fast, we could attach electrodes to the coffins and power NYC for a year.

And yes, Duck Dogers rocks. Update of great characters, plus great theme song (bout time Tom
Jones did something)

And kingklash, tomorrow's Birdman ep is called "The Return of Birdgirl" can't wait!

Ps: ...sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 09/17/2005 03:34 PM EST

I wouldn't think its possible but X-E makes me like weekdays better than weekends. Countdownless days make me sad.

Chestnuts roasted by Carri @ 09/17/2005 06:54 PM EST

Invader Norbert lol Holbrook is closer than you think if you do get crazed for the taste Pathmark in on Sunrise Highway Holbrook is after brentwood bayshore and Islip as you go east. I use to hang out with someone from linderhurstit like a 25 minute drive.
What about trying Pathmark in general?
Or the Wal-Mart at Sunrise Mall
I can afford to be helpful I just finshed a bowl of BooBerry

Chestnuts roasted by Corn @ 09/17/2005 10:44 PM EST

lol judging from my spelling it is obvious that I have also been drinking. A lot

Chestnuts roasted by corn @ 09/17/2005 10:45 PM EST

I just listened to the commercial...I wonder if it's really Robert Englund's voice. It's sort of extra-deep...sounds like a pro wrestler.

Chestnuts roasted by Will @ 09/18/2005 01:35 PM EST

Invader Norbert, Holbrook is east of Sayville/Oakdale, south of Ronkonkoma. Islandia is east of Hauppauge, northeast of Cen. Islip, west of Lake Ronkonkoma. The BJ's is on Old Nichols Rd, LIE exit 58, go north to the first light past the LIE

There's a BJ's somewhat close by to you in Farmingdale (off 110) (and locations in Levittown on Hempstead Tpke, Westbury on Brush Hollow Rd., E. Setauket on 347, and Riverhead on Old Country)

I think I'll check the Pathmark in Patchogue for it (also the one in Shirley). If they don't have it, I'll go to the Holbrook Pathmark or go to Sam's Club (in Medford, the only Sam's on LI)

Chestnuts roasted by AK @ 09/18/2005 01:48 PM EST

Here's an idea...couldn't you guys totally see a Freddy Krueger/WWF tie-in back in the day? It didn't happen, but I could so see it, especially after "Rock and Wrestling".

Chestnuts roasted by Will @ 09/18/2005 01:48 PM EST

Brother, if they had that tie-in, brother, the Hulkster would've been legdropping him in the matter of nanoseconds, brother!

Chestnuts roasted by AK @ 09/18/2005 01:52 PM EST

what would happen if you called that number now? Do 900 numbers not exist anymore or something?

Chestnuts roasted by kehya @ 09/18/2005 05:58 PM EST

That would be kind of funny if the number still existed. Those people had to know that it would be mostly kids calling...by that time Freddy Krueger was made into dolls, stickers...he had become a total kid icon. I remember my mom buying a shitload of cheap Halloween stuff at some sale and I had a little Freddy suction cupped to my window

Chestnuts roasted by Will @ 09/18/2005 08:40 PM EST

I called this # 5558745945984593859835 times and my parents almost killed me back then...........so I called it 323487498729832893 more times

Chestnuts roasted by NJ guy @ 09/21/2005 06:12 PM EST