09/14/2005 Entry: "Body By Jake's Trading Card Treats."

The Halloween Countdown rages on with a look at 1991's Trading Card Treats, proof that some of the best stuff kids ever got in their trick-or-treat sacks was in no way edible. Everything from sets of Nintendo cards to sets of friggin' Widget cards are in there, just waiting to be adored. So go adore.

I've been thoroughly impressed with what I've seen received so far for the Halloween Art Contest, which will have met its entry deadline just a few hours after I post this. So impressed, in fact, that I'm switching gears. Originally planning to only feature a few, there's really just too much good stuff to hold back. Instead, I'm going to erase any intentions of putting this up on Saturday and make it the Monday Countdown entry, thus staying on track with my "weekdays mandate" and giving me all the time I need to edit the pictures that were too large or too small. Don't be too disappointed -- Monday entries generally get posted on Sunday, and if yer lucky, I'll post 'em even earlier as a blog exclusive until they hit the main page Sunday night. There's a little nice surprise coming to all who entered, so stay tuned.

Also of note -- while going up the elevator at one of our editing facilities today, who should prance on in but Jake Steinfeld, otherwise known as that Body By Jake guy from the infomercials. Amazingly, the other people in the elevator went batshit. The treatment Jake got during this brief elevator ride is usually reserved for royalty and rock stars. I was tempted to snicker, but Jake's a pretty big guy and I didn't want him to snap me like a twig and eat my still-beating heart.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 09/14/2005 11:46 PM EST

Hey Matt, just a heads up, MD pitchblack 2 is out this year. I tasted it today and it's way different than last years.

Chestnuts roasted by Byrd man @ 09/15/2005 12:01 AM EST

That guy had a shitty sitcom on the Family Channel called Big Brother Jake. I think it came on either right before or right after Maniac Mansion.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike Fireball @ 09/15/2005 12:23 AM EST

Matt, I had completely forgotten about The Marvel Universe trading cards until I read this article. Then I pictured the 3 binders FULL of them sitting in my bedroom back home (I shit you not).

You were absolultely right, I got into comics because of the cards, sneaky bastards...

Chestnuts roasted by Bryan @ 09/15/2005 12:36 AM EST

Spent many a night looking over stuffed binders filled with Marvel Universe cards. Only thing that got me was the scale was 1 to 7. The in the middle numer would be 3.5 and I always stunk at math, especially at 10.

Chestnuts roasted by Dre @ 09/15/2005 02:47 AM EST

I came home with a set of Marvel Universe cards once and my mom exploded like an atomic bomb. She was convinced they would corrupt me and she immediately threw them away. Any hope of ever understanding the Marvel U as a child was lost there.

I remember the Trading Card Treats campaign, and I think it's WEIRD that barely anyone has commented on it yet. The themes ranged from way cool to extremely embarrassing...did anybody ever watch "Widget" at all? I think that was the only licensed "Widget" product ever made.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 09/15/2005 03:01 AM EST

I'm so confused. Why did the site's Halloween contest take place during the first half of /September/? Will there be other contests during the "official" Halloween month? It just seems like the gun was jumped a little early...

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 09/15/2005 03:47 AM EST

Matt, any chance of getting some more scans of those Universal Monsters Impel cards (fronts and bios)? Those really are amazingly high quality compared to what might be expected. I don't remember these cards being distributed around my neighborhood when I was a kid, unfortunately.

Chestnuts roasted by Wolfman Jake @ 09/15/2005 06:57 AM EST

As you will learn if you stick around, Eddie, XE tends to stretch out the holiday seasons. We start celebrating Halloween in September, and only stop celebrating so we can start celebrating Thanksgiving, and that's only narrowly shoved aside by Christmas, which generally lingers until late August. Which is when the U.K. Summer Bank Holiday Countdown begins.
You know, I think the Racoon Mario Card is all too typical of Nintendo's callous attitude towards their green plumber. "Oops! The princess is on the boat after all, leaving Luigi at the top of a deserted castle, surrounded by squashed mushrooms and empty shells, weeping quietly into his moustache. Screw you ONCE AGAIN, Luigi."

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 09/15/2005 07:38 AM EST

A Solar Shock Fang-Blast Missile Launcher. I think I had one of those back when I was the Emperor of Happy- Funtime isle. Those cards. I hated those cards. All I ever got was one pack and all the cards in it were the enspecter, I totally mis-spelled that, Gadget card. That was the first time that I truely felt pain.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 09/15/2005 08:51 AM EST

Eddie: I live to jump the gun, but don't worry, there will be another contest or two for those who can't find the spirit until October.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 09/15/2005 08:57 AM EST

I have the card with Link on it thats in the picture! I'm staring at it right now! A guy at a garage sale gave it to me when I bought a Pac-Man mirror a few years ago. Guess he knew it was worthless.

Chestnuts roasted by MissKitty @ 09/15/2005 09:01 AM EST

Yo X-E'rs,
I'm trying to track down the name of an old horror film that scared the bejesus out of me when I was a little kid. It may be impossible to find out but I figure if anyone will know someone here will. Anyways, the film follows all the cliches of the genere; rich kids on boat find island with scary house on it, kids land on island, chicks get naked, facially deformed guy who lives in scary house kills them one by one in various ways. I can't really remember much else as it was over twenty years ago but if it rings any bells with anyone please let me know. Thanks y'all!

Chestnuts roasted by The Fink @ 09/15/2005 09:40 AM EST

I was a huge Marvel Card collector myself back in the day. It was pretty big at my school for a month or two. It did lead to my first and only ownership of a single comic book, which I traded back for more cards several days later. I dodged a bullet - could'a been hooked for years on comics.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 09/15/2005 09:56 AM EST

Wow Matt, great countdown to date. I am definately into the jukebox and I can't wait to see the artwork. I think you should have another contest or maybe a section so that we can send in our Orange and Black clad houses, apartments, dorm rooms, ect. I have put massive effort and weekends into my Halloween yard haunt this year and I feel it is something most of the XE crowd could get behind. Plus the wife would cringe at the thought of the world being able to see our spooky yard. Just tossing that idea out for a possible contest or just for discussion.

Chestnuts roasted by Tigerfan @ 09/15/2005 10:14 AM EST

Oh and also, Matt, I think those cards were regional because back in my candy grubbing days we didn't see any of these cards and I would remember something that glorious.

Chestnuts roasted by Tigerfan @ 09/15/2005 10:15 AM EST

Oh, do I remember Big Brother Jake. My dad was a freelance promotion producer for The Family Channel at the time and he brought home tons of episodes to watch. Believe me, I got my fill of crappy Family Channel stuff, some of which never even made it on the air (for good reason.) I even watched a taping of it because Dad said, "You never know when you'll get a chance to watch a live TV show taping again." For a TV fiend like me the process was fascinating but the show...not so much. I got the impression that Jake really thought a lot of himself, which for me is inexcusable because he's freakin' Jake Steinfeld. Though judging from those elevator reactions, he's not the only one who thinks he's the man. I don't get it.

Jedoc, my husband would totally agree with you. He actually chose Luigi to propose marriage to me. Seriously, he's a programmer, so he created this little program where Mario and Luigi danced around and then Luigi asked Mario for the ring and proposed. (I sometimes joke that I actually got engaged to Luigi.) Anyway, as you can tell, he's a big defender of Luigi. He likes to start Mario games in 2-player, then kill off Mario so he can play Luigi. He feels like he's just as cool as Mario, but for whatever reason always gets the raw end of the deal, so it's up to him to give Luigi the props he deserves.

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 09/15/2005 10:23 AM EST

I recently just purchased a used n64 for $20 and a used copy of Mario Kart 64 which oddly enough cost the same as the system but i absolutely HAD to have mario kart so i went through with it. I always make a point to not pick mario. I usually go with wario or yoshi and the best feeling is when i have the blue shell and mario is in 1st place. I love pummeling mario with tons of shells!!! I never got to play mario kart double dash for gamecube. Is it any good?

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/15/2005 10:36 AM EST

Wow - you've seen Matthew Lesko AND Jake Steinfeld at work? Insane. I wish I worked in NYC. When I was there a few months ago I did see Fred Willard and I saw the "U-Pick" guy from that Nick show doing one of his wacky live spots between cartoons or whatever. But I did briefly meet Natalie Portman here in Madison a year ago, so that makes up for my lack of celebrity sightings by like 10,000%.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 09/15/2005 10:39 AM EST

I've always been a Luigi fan. To me, Mario is kind of a smug bastard...as he always has to take the spotlight. How many games has Mario been featured in and or on the cover of? And, Luigi gets only one? I wouldn't blame him, if one day, he traps Mario in a pipe and takes away all his coins.

"IT'S-A ME NOW, BITCH."

Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Acula @ 09/15/2005 10:48 AM EST

And what about Toad and the Princess? they're as important as Mario, so they deserve big adventure games of their own. Peach saving Jumpman, that'd be neat-o Toledo!
I finished my drawing last night, far too late for the contest, but I might send it anyway. Snail mail maybe, but wha'thehey, Matt could always post it as a weekend coloring contest, since it's not colored in.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 09/15/2005 11:44 AM EST

I was a Luigi gal myself...I was ALWAYS Luigi. In Mario 2 especially, he WAS the better choice, and any chance to kill that cocky Mario should not be missed.

Glad to see an entry about those trading card treats! Good times...

Also, glad to hear there will be future contests (I figured there would be, but it is good to have it confirmed) - missed this one.
Ooops. Can't wait to see the brilliant entries.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 09/15/2005 11:50 AM EST

Two confessions, both of which may shed light on why this update led to such mixed feelings on my part:

1) In October 1991, I was a college freshman. We did have some underprivileged kids trick-or-treat in our dorm, but I don't remember anyone having trading cards. I'm old.

2) My husband looks like Inspector Gadget. Not Matthew Broderick, mind you, but the cartoon Gadget. Seriously. I wish he had his own trading cards.

Chestnuts roasted by gadgetsgirl @ 09/15/2005 12:03 PM EST

gagetsgirl: My husband looks like Inspector Gadget. Not Matthew Broderick, mind you, but the cartoon Gadget.

Matthew Broderick? Ha - the quintescential Inspector Gadget is none other than the illustrious French Stewart who played the detective in Inspector Gadget 2. The greatest actor AND film of all time? Yes.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 09/15/2005 12:16 PM EST

I want Body By Jake trading cards for Halloween.

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 09/15/2005 12:42 PM EST

Lest we not forget Jake Steinfeld's acting debut in the obscure early 1980's slasher film, "Home Sweet Home". I don't remember too much about this movie except the opening scene, in which Jake escapes from a mental hospital, steals a car, injects some drug into his tongue and mows down an old lady crossing the street with her groceries.

For that reason alone I would give him the same reverence as the people in the elevator

Chestnuts roasted by james anthony ktu @ 09/15/2005 12:44 PM EST

James, he did the tongue drug thing in the elevator, too.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 09/15/2005 01:00 PM EST

I definately had the Nintendo cards. They were cool.

Two infomercial celebs down. Now all you need to do is meet the following people:

Tony Little
Juicer guy
That guy who sells exercise equipment. He's currently in a Geico commercial.
Natural Cures guy
John Feysdow
Amazing Discoveries guy
Stuart Pankin
Billy Blanks

Anyone missing?

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 09/15/2005 01:08 PM EST

Hey,has anyone seen trick or treat?
Man that movie is cheesy and laughable. I saw it during my (miserable) trip to Finland, and when Curri's guitar started to shoot lighting bolts, my cousins boyfriend asked, and i do quote.
"Mikä helvetti sua vaivaa?" What is tranlated to "What the hell is your problem?" 'cus i had fallen from the chair in a laughing frenzy.

Chestnuts roasted by me @ 09/15/2005 01:20 PM EST

Wow the Halloween gods have graced us with Fridays article already. I don't want to spoil it for everyone but got to Fark.com and you can see into the futre. It's a festivus miracle! Oh wait, wrong holiday!

Chestnuts roasted by Tigerfan55600 @ 09/15/2005 02:01 PM EST

Latoya, cher

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 09/15/2005 02:07 PM EST

Matt-
You're getting me entirely too pumped up for Halloween! On a side note my housemates want to thank you for introducing us to Fireball Island.

Colt

Chestnuts roasted by Colt @ 09/15/2005 02:22 PM EST

Sorry, I forgot Don Lapree

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 09/15/2005 02:23 PM EST

Mad Cow,

Whereabouts in Deutschland? I believe you already told me, but just making sure.

Ha, ha, very funny Matt, remember, you hate Kinder Chocolate. If they do a cool Advent Calendar, I'll send one your way if you want it.

As far as dressing up in Germany this Halloween...I could just dress up in my football uniform (www.giessen-dragons.de), but then my infant son Brett would have to be a football and I might get too excited and spike him.

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

Chestnuts roasted by EMajorwitz @ 09/15/2005 02:30 PM EST

Matt,
Off-topic, I read your commentary on the 50 greatest fights in re: Optimus V. Megatron. I thought that was one of the best. I remember being flipped out thinking Optimus could die. My transformer obsession ended when Rodimus Prime took the throne.

Chestnuts roasted by El Bang @ 09/15/2005 02:36 PM EST

The best non-candy item I ever got on Halloween? A Hot Wheels car. Yeah they're only a dollar, but I was stoked.

Chestnuts roasted by Jake @ 09/15/2005 03:03 PM EST

Ron Popeil!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 09/15/2005 03:12 PM EST

Man I never got those sweet ass cards. I did get those stupid mcdonald aliens though. Ok they weren't stupid they ruled.

Oh and mario cart double dash is the freaking best phunq. Just wait for the revolution to come out though, mario karts will be online, hellz yea!

I hate body by Jake the guy looks fake. Ever notice how it seem shis head don't fit his body? That is soem weird shite.

Chestnuts roasted by the80sruled @ 09/15/2005 03:14 PM EST

Erik,
Yeah, I think I mentioned it once, I'm down in Stuttgart. Home of nice cars and Schwaebisch...everything. I don't know if the weather sucks as much up there as it does down here, but I haven't been able to play frisbee for a week. Hope the new tyke is treating you well.

Chestnuts roasted by Mad Cow @ 09/15/2005 03:40 PM EST

How's about a review or Mr. Boogedy or the sequel as a good Hallowe'en item? I haven't seen that in years--someone out there must have it taped...

Chestnuts roasted by Robert @ 09/15/2005 04:37 PM EST

And, Luigi gets only one? I wouldn't blame him, if one day, he traps Mario in a pipe and takes away all his coins.

Besides Luigi's Mansion, Luigi has also starred in the NES & SNES "classic" Mario is Missing! I actually had that for NES.

And I think that "Juicer Guy" JLA is referring to Jack LaLanne

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 09/15/2005 05:32 PM EST

MATT- i don't know if anyonehas told you but #21-DJ-Jazzy-Jeff-Ni in the juke box dosn't work. Every time I click it an error ocures and i have to leave windows media player.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Poop @ 09/15/2005 06:12 PM EST

My fave quote from the Juiceman is "IT STIMULATES THE BOWELS!!!!!" just the passion he has behind that statement, the look on his face, and of course his posessed, humongous evil eyebrows make it classic. I wonder if he ever changes his jogging suit. I already sounded off on Kevin Trudeau (natural cures psycho) in the saturday thread. For some reason hearing Jake say "ab scissor" cracks me up everytime i hear it. BTW Tony Little is the dude in the Geico commercial. Has anyone seen the infomercial with the twin midgets who made a fortune (supposedly) by selling real estate? Its classic. Not as annoying as Carlton Sheets or Don Lapree or that other dude who has the high pitched voice. I watch too much late-night tv.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/15/2005 06:47 PM EST

Besides Luigi's Mansion, Luigi has also starred in the NES & SNES "classic" Mario is Missing! I actually had that for NES.

Invader Norbert: That's the thing, though. It's Mario is Missing, not "Luigi Saves The Day" or something like that. It's pretty much choas when Mario can't be found, but if Luigi was missing, Mario would go "I'll save him later. He'll be fine." and try to get with the princess.

I realize that this is a lot of Mario Bros. analysis, and I thank X-E for making it possible.

Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Acula @ 09/15/2005 07:40 PM EST

I don't remember ever getting these cards, either, but we DID get things other than candy in our bags. My sisters and I lived in a small beach community where half the houses were empty by October 31st and the other half made up for it by giving away everything from huge chocolate bars to kids' books. I actually got a "Return of the Jedi" kids' book one year. I would have gotten more, but I felt sort of weird about taking too much and I was getting a lot of flack for being a "Star Wars" fan at the time.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 09/15/2005 08:10 PM EST

Dr. Acula I'm agreeing with you on that. Even when Luigi WAS in the game with Mario, it still seemed like he got stuck doing the REAL "plumbing work." Ever wonder how they're able to warp so fast? It's Luigi cleaning them out...

Also, I likes your name. RIP Mitch.

And earlier today, I tried out the Jukebox. Wow...just wow. *begins carving a Graven Image of Matt out of a golden piece of driftwood*

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 09/15/2005 09:04 PM EST

I think that was the reason Mario was fat and Luigi was thin. Mario is the man. Damn the man.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 09/15/2005 09:34 PM EST

Princess Peach has her own platforming game coming out for Nintendo DS.

Chestnuts roasted by Kid Nicky @ 09/15/2005 09:42 PM EST

We so forgot Billy Mayes, Mays whatever. Double thumbs up to OxyClean, Orange Clean and the Gopher!!

And what about that guy who sells the Rotato and that wondermop? I love saying Rotato in his accent

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 09/15/2005 10:11 PM EST

But you know, Luigi doesn't really need his own game. Mario is Missing should have proved that to anyone unfortunate enough to get it for their birthday. He's humble enough. All he needs, all WE need, is a cutscene somewhere, in some game, where he finally gets fed up with Mario's showboating and kicks him squarely in the groin.
And if you that thought gives you the warm tinglies, just imagine it in the live action version.
Captain Lou Albano getting kicked in the testicles by Guy Who Played Luigi. The pinnacle of physical comedy? I submit that it is so.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 09/15/2005 10:39 PM EST

I second that, Jedoc.

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 09/15/2005 11:02 PM EST

Third. Why do you think the Super Smash Bros games were so awesome? You could hold matches of Mario vs Luigi (or in Melee, Mario vs Dr Mario vs Luigi) and you could literally see who was the most awesome brother. Personally, I liked Luigi over Mario (especially the Melee version)

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 09/15/2005 11:11 PM EST

OMFG Revolution controller REVEALED:

http://planetgamecube.com/media.cfm?action=hwshot&id=238&seq=5

http://planetgamecube.com/media.cfm?action=hwshot&id=238&seq=3

http://planetgamecube.com/media.cfm?action=hwshot&id=238&seq=2

http://planetgamecube.com/media.cfm?action=hwshot&id=238&seq=1

http://planetgamecube.com/news.cfm?action=item&id=6513

http://planetgamecube.com/news.cfm?action=item&id=6514

This thing is gonna be AMAZING!

Chestnuts roasted by Xevo @ 09/15/2005 11:38 PM EST

Damn, I sure hope those pics of the controllers are fakes, because those look stupid.

Chestnuts roasted by the80sruled @ 09/15/2005 11:46 PM EST

Widget actually had an NES and an SNES game. Weird eh?

I remember hating Widget for it's awful character design in second grade. The main villain was a punk rocker scientist or something of equal bullcraptitude.

The Fink: I don't know the name, but I'm pretty sure Matt reviewed that.

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 09/16/2005 12:05 AM EST

Yay for the controller! I was really taken aback at first, but after I read the press release and what-not, I'm excited. Then again, I'm a huge Nintendo fanboy.

Chestnuts roasted by mattwo @ 09/16/2005 12:07 AM EST

The controller pics are real:
http://www.gamespot.com/news/2005/09/15/news_6133335.html

I'm worried about the add-on functionality. You'll likely either end up buying tons of things, or game makers will be too afraid to make games that use attachments (like what happened with the PS2 HDD and the E-reader).

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 09/16/2005 12:08 AM EST

I am horrified about those controllers lol

Chestnuts roasted by the80sruled @ 09/16/2005 02:57 AM EST

Do you realize what these new controllers mean? It means that our lame older siblings who occasionally wanted to try out that new-fangled Pretendo and INSISTED on yanking the controller around like an idiot because they were convinced it would make Mario jump just a bit further and clear that bottomless pit of doom? They're going to be the new champions of the Revolution. Chilling.

Chestnuts roasted by Jedoc @ 09/16/2005 11:38 AM EST

Speaking of which, why is it that none of the games on DS have taken advantage of the mircophone to make the game easier when you swear loudly at the characters? If Nintendo wants to attract the people who find games over frustrating, it's time to get serious.

By the way, "Mario's Time Machine" stared the plumber in green. Rather than trusting the fungus, Luigi was left to trust his knowledge of history. I never made it past the first question. The graphics were really pathetic, so I'm sure I'm not the only person who didn't catch onto the fact that a collection of nine red pixels was the apple that fell on Isaac Newton's head.

Last thing: That friggin' Revolution trailer...I'm a huge fan of commercials, which is the reason I first developed my loyalty to X-E, but I think this thing has just topped my list. If you haven't seen it, check it out now. It's incredible.

http://media.cube.ign.com/articles/651/651334/vids_1.html

Chestnuts roasted by Tougi @ 09/16/2005 05:43 PM EST

I never got the trading cards, but I had a sticker version of that Link card stuck to my mirror for years. I always thought it was kind of weird that Link had a cross on his shield and not a triforce. Was Link secretly down with the Big J?

Chestnuts roasted by Jillybeann @ 09/16/2005 09:49 PM EST

Why is always Mario???
I want Luigi!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Yelinna :P @ 09/17/2005 12:14 AM EST

I so want those Widget cards...I used to love that show

Chestnuts roasted by Brett @ 09/17/2005 12:22 AM EST

I actually still have sme of these. Crazy!

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 09/19/2005 03:08 PM EST