07/03/2005 Entry: "Cherry Cracker Kool-Aid!"

Man, I totally don't have any fireworks this year. Zip. There may be a few smoke bombs and cobra snakes leftover from last year's Fireworks article, but with that kind of ammo, I'd only be allowed to huddle by the bush with the six-year-old sparkler twirlers. However, I stand confident that I'll be spending the holiday as the sole celebrator who gets to drink fireworks, evidenced in the latest Kool-Aid review. Cherry Cracker arrived in 1991, with images of Uncle Sam and the Kool-Aid Man riding a red rocket right into your god damned mouth. It was the punch that popped, or at least, the punch that would've popped if the ingredients weren't fifteen years old.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 07/03/2005 01:28 PM EST

Nice. I love the video. Sure there might not have been kool-aid fireworks but you got a nice shot of the shards of glass clanging about the pitcher.

Chestnuts roasted by Carri @ 07/03/2005 02:19 PM EST

Even with expired Pop Rocks, this is better than the annual "Let's Try To Kill kingklash With A Badly-Aimed Firework" tradition of the past few years. I have seen my Doom, and it has "Emits Showers Of Sparks" written on it.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash, a fun trick noisemaker! @ 07/03/2005 02:31 PM EST

Do Americans make fireworks or do the Communist have all the fun in that?

Semper Fi,
Erik Majorwitz

Chestnuts roasted by EMajorwitz @ 07/03/2005 03:18 PM EST

Anybody who lives near a Dairy Queen remember the Blizzard they had 3 or 4 years ago? The one with Grape Kool-Aid and Poprocks?

Man was that stuff ever good! Evidently, they stopped making it though...bastards!

Chestnuts roasted by The Cause @ 07/03/2005 03:25 PM EST

Mmm pop rocks...since I have no plans for the 4th, maybe I'll try a diy and pour Pop Rocks into Kool Aid.

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 07/03/2005 03:48 PM EST

I was thinking the exact same thing Mara.

I'll probably add watermelon Pop Rocks to cherry Kool-aid. I miss watermelon/cherry. It's way better than invisible watermelon/kiwi.

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 07/03/2005 05:10 PM EST

I'm loving the new Kool Aid features. I remember Cherry Cracker too well. My mother bought us about three dozen packets of that stuff. It was marked down to about a dime per package after that initial run. Because it lasted about six summers she didn't buy any other flavors until we finished that crap.

Chestnuts roasted by pulseczar @ 07/03/2005 05:23 PM EST

The Cause - You bet I remember that Blizzard. Typically, I shy away from fruity ice cream flavors (I'm a chocolate girl at heart), but I couldn't pass that limited edition opportunity up. I kept opening my mouth so my husband could hear the crackling. Apparently, Pop Rocks make me 10 years old.

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 07/03/2005 06:02 PM EST

Didn't see that blizzard, but anyone else remember the Fireworks Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream? Pop Rocks coated in red, white and blue "white" chocolate in vanilla ice cream. I freaking loved the stuff, and it didn't hurt that my sister worked there at the time.

Lori, pop rocks have the same effect on me.

Chestnuts roasted by Mad Cow @ 07/03/2005 06:33 PM EST

Im a Canada Day kinda guy I suppose... you know, being canadian and all.

Unfortunatly I didn't get off work in time to cash my pay on thursday so I've been broke all weekend. I think I'll celebrate july 4th this year..

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 07/03/2005 06:42 PM EST

GOZER

Good luck in the working world. I'll be there shortly myself. If I get the job, it'll entail driving around and talking with people. And its part time.

Sure its not a record store gig, but it'll stave off the "why did you get a degree if you wanted to work in a record store and start a band?" crap I get constantly. For awhile, anyway

"g------, that is some cold s---"

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative derives his dreams from High Fidelity @ 07/03/2005 07:24 PM EST

so what do Canadians do for Canada Day...
I know it sounds kinda daft, but for a spaniard like me it really turns out that I know nothing of that seemingly special day, and considering I love Canada it's an event I should know at least something about!!!!

Here in Spain it's so long that we got "independant" that we don't even remember much about the whole fuss nor from who did we get independant...it's more like "well what if we, bunch of crappy regions unite and call ourselves Spain, you know, it could really catch on...it gives a ring...people would say "Oh, South of Europe really iS Pain"" and probably thought that was amusing like 900 years ago!

Chestnuts roasted by melonian @ 07/03/2005 08:53 PM EST

Kool-Aid is to sugar and water as Hamburger Helper is to ground beef.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 07/03/2005 09:07 PM EST

First off, I'm a Canada guy too--that means beer, not Kool-Aid. Unless Mountain Berry comes back...

Second, did anyone else read the directions? What exactly would happen if you used a metal container? Do the Pop Rocks gain sentience or begin a fusion reaction or something?

Matt, in the interest of the most holy linking of UNSWEETENED DRINKS & SCIENCE I think we need an answer to this.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 07/04/2005 12:06 AM EST

A rare X-E video clip; right on!

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 07/04/2005 12:08 AM EST

Sean, I'd bet one of these two bullshit answers could be proved correct, but I'm not sure which:

1) Whatever is in it would stain metal.

2) Whatever is in it would decompose metal on the spot, mix it with the liquid and poison you.

I'm betting on the former, because #2 sounds like a situation where fine print just wouldn't suffice.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/04/2005 12:12 AM EST

Today I went into Manhattan today to see Spamalot (had tickets since march). It was an awesome show except for one thing: Hank Azaria apparantly left the show after the tonys to do the simpsons again and I had no idea this happened.

Everything else kicked ass. After the show, I got 3 castmembers to sign my playbill (hank's replacement, Sara Ramirez and David Hyde Pierce) I even got a couple of pics with David!

Also, I saw Spiderbum while I was in Times Square. He is definately freaky.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/04/2005 12:15 AM EST

Hey all you Canadians - I've been poking around on the internet about old Kool-Aid flavors, and some sites seem to imply that there are some extinct U.S. flavors that are still sold in Canada (i.e. Purplesaurous Rex). Can any of you verify if this is true?

Knegative
Not to thread-jack, but in the past two days I've watched The Big Empty, Stateside, and Get Carter. RLC was pretty great in Stateside, but I thought the movie was pretty so-so. I really liked The Big Empty, and Get Carter was o.k. Looking forward to Blow Dry, Bookies, and Hi-Line this week.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 07/04/2005 12:25 AM EST

Invader Norbert

I saw Spamalot when I was in NYC a few months ago. Freakin' awesome. It was so funny, even though I've seen The Holy Grail about 100 times.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 07/04/2005 12:27 AM EST

I thread-jack all the time. Everyone ignores me except you, so we're really not interupting anything. They know to politely ingnore

I respect your opinion, but Stateside is my new great Rachael Hope. And as always its personal stuff:

*The stuff she says and he writes make great lyrics = the dialogue is funny and poignent.
*I can relate to so much of their relationship.
*He saves her and she saves him.

I haven't seen Hi-Line. Lemme know what you think.

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 07/04/2005 12:43 AM EST

I saw Spamalot when I was in NYC a few months ago. Freakin' awesome. It was so funny, even though I've seen The Holy Grail about 100 times.

Me too. I got the DVD too.

Only thing missing from the Knights of The Round Table song was the one prisoner clapping in the dungeon. That's just a classic Monty Python moment.

...and then came the CHUDs

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/04/2005 01:04 AM EST

Just tried to watch the cherry crackle movie, no picture just sound. Sounded like a bath running. . . scary drink.

Chestnuts roasted by kb @ 07/04/2005 01:04 AM EST

MATT! You should totably have a contest to win a packet of Cherry Cracker. Or, if you don't want to part with a pack, don't. No teeth off my feet.

Chestnuts roasted by Tom No Like @ 07/04/2005 01:15 AM EST

Sorry for doubly thingy, but I just watched the video, and that plastic jug with the blue and yellow cap? I have that. But, because I don't have a glass pitcher, the plastic one is what I have my Kool-Aid in.

Chestnuts roasted by Tom No Like @ 07/04/2005 01:21 AM EST

Family Dollar had a sale = Bonding Time on the X-E boards.

But despite the cynical comment: I've got one too!! It has Iced Tea in it.

Matt, Gozer, & Me: BFF

I'm the rogue, loner who doesn't follow the groups rules because Kool-Aid requires way too much sugar. Hall Moniter--health conscious, yet mysterious

I am soooo stupid it hurts.

Chestnuts roasted by ThatHallMoniterYouWantedToSuckerPunchInGradeSchool @ 07/04/2005 02:00 AM EST

See, I am stupid. Something tells me Tom No Like I left him out.

Sorry for the exclusion and the horrible pun-like use of your name.

Chestnuts roasted by Hall Moniter @ 07/04/2005 02:05 AM EST

Sucker Punchy Hall Monitor Person:

Those almost read like several haikus (is haikus the plural, or is it just haiku?).

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 07/04/2005 02:42 AM EST

Wow, I totally didn't plan on that. But I can't help but read them like that, now.

Hall Moniter will suffice. Think about it like ATHF. They rarely call Shake, Master Shake.

I started out as a way to point out obvious infractions in the rules of Surveys without seeming like a smart---. Guess I have a life of my own now, huh?

Yes, I am a rogue personality of a regular X-E blogger.

Chestnuts roasted by Hall Moniter @ 07/04/2005 03:35 AM EST

In response to the metal container question, if I remember right, ALL Kool-Aid instructions have such a warning. Being one to tempt fate, I disregarded said warning and ended up with crappy tasting Kool-Aid. It just gives it some sort of metalic overtaste. I think the same is said of all fruit juices, partial fruit juices, and fruit drinks of questionable nutritional value.

Chestnuts roasted by Mad Cow @ 07/04/2005 06:07 AM EST

Check how many types of acids are in Kool-Aid. That's a lot of metal reaction going on there. Tonight is Anadarko's big 4th celebration, so it's down to the park to watch the 'works. and maybe attend a turtle race.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/04/2005 11:38 AM EST

DUDE-
You wanna go to the Meadowlands Fair tonight? Gimme a call, I'll leave my number on your never on cell. I think this is your quickest form of communication.

Chestnuts roasted by KEV @ 07/04/2005 12:32 PM EST

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!

Chestnuts roasted by Tom No Like @ 07/04/2005 03:21 PM EST

I was told once that somebody put koolaid in one of those large metal coolers and everyone that drank it got violently ill, I never heard of anybody drinking it and just complaining how crappy it tasted. You might of just got lucky. I also have that plastic pitcher, but the yellow part is slightly different, I guess they are really popular.

Chestnuts roasted by Goob @ 07/04/2005 08:08 PM EST

I totally know who the hall moniter is....

Chestnuts roasted by but i ain't saying @ 07/06/2005 02:00 AM EST

Gee, was it the blatently revealing post in the LodgeNet entry?

Just trying to bring the sides back together, so I don't double annoy everyone

Chestnuts roasted by Hall Moniter @ 07/06/2005 09:18 AM EST

You know, we had a hall monitor in high school that used to chase kids out of the 3rd floor bathrooms (which were only open between classes). She chased me out once, but I was the one who wasn't smoking. She also got pissed when I was at my locker during classes (I came to school late).

Anyways, she looked like a rat, so a classmate called her "Bathroom Rat" (my, how creative!!!!!). She carried around a current copy of the yearbook so she could identify people. If you had the (dis)pleasure of coming across Bathroom Rat, you were in trouble. She tried to get me in trouble. But, I had a pass.

My point is, we didn't have one of those sucker-punch worthy hall monitors in grade school. My town waited till high school to throw that one at us (and I was already in 11th grade @ the time)!!!!!! Dont worry "Hall Moniter," you're safe from anything I can inflict (but then again, I'm not that strong!)

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 07/06/2005 02:03 PM EST

I was a bathroom monitor way back in 5th grade. For a while there I knew they wanted to take me out. I'm surprised I never got a swirlee.

And I'm sure you're strong enough. I'm the biggest wussypuff emo kid on the planet.

This is the last post ever regarding "him".

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 07/07/2005 02:19 AM EST