06/22/2005 Entry: "Herbie Lohan."

I'm guessing by the suspicious amount of young Lindsay Lohan enthusiasts littered around my building this afternoon that she must've been on Total Request Live. Everyone in the horde outside was holding up fancy Herbie: Fully Loaded signs, which got me to thinking about the television campaign for the film -- isn't it kind of odd that many of the ads don't even show Lohan's face, much less mention her by name? I know there's a few that do it in passing, but I've yet to see a single ad that shouts "HEY LOHAN FANS, LOOKIE HERE." And since we must suspect that anyone hiring Lohan for a lead role has to have those intentions, it begs the question: What's up? Guessing twice in a paragraph, could it be that all of the anorexia stories and whatnot have made the studio a bit too concerned to pitch this meant-for-families movie as a Lohan vehicle? You know, as opposed to a Herbie vehicle? It's the pun nobody could possibly resist making. Who are you to judge me?

I have no vested interest in Lindsay Lohan or Herbie Lohan, but when a debuting film's ads seem to be going out of their way not to mention said film's star, something's definitely up. I know the whole thing came of bullshit contractual obligations and blah blah, but still. I'd search the gossip columns and such, but if I take it a step further than just writing about it and actually make the plunge into research, it's going to require a subsequent reevaluation of priorities that could leave you, me and every chimp in the universe dead. Instead, I refocus my energies on Kool-Aid: Lemon-Lime has been reviewed.

Chestnuts roasted by gramsci @ 06/22/2005 10:29 PM EST

Yes, I used to pick/eat/drink green things because of a very simple premise: Green Day.

But, I am becoming reobssessed with the Voltron color scheme, which is beautifully cracked:

Keith = Red Suit = Black Lion
Lance = Blue Suit = Red Lion
Sven = Black Suit = Blue Lion
Allura = Pink Suit = Blue Lion.

Pidge and Hunk were the only ones who had any sense of color continuity.

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 06/22/2005 10:40 PM EST

well, I likes the green Kool-Aid. It's a classic flavor, and the aftertaste reminds you of what you just drank. I also like lime Jell-O a lot!

I don't really like Lindsay Lohan. She is scary now! Cute as a little kid though.

Just watched Facts of Life! I liked when the guard was hitting on Mrs. G! She was getting into him, big time!

Not so much a Kate & Allie or Benson fan, so I might just pop in my new DVD.....Batman: The Movie! Starring Adam West and Burt Ward! It's a total contrast to Batman Begins, which I saw the other night, super great by the way!

Yah.

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 06/22/2005 11:04 PM EST

I love that movie. It's so great. The ship of villains is one of my favorite movie scenes ever. And though Batman trying to get rid of the bomb is a typical pick, it's still awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/22/2005 11:06 PM EST

I agree with Matt's aversion to Lemon-Lime Kool-Aid - it's one of those flavors that sticks out clearly in my head (like Sharkelberry Fin and Rock-a-dile Red), but I don't recall it too fondly. Now that I think about it, I usually regard the token green flavor of any assorted fruit flavor product as the last resort (i.e. popsicles or Lik-a-maid). Then comes "red", with "orange" and "purple" at the top. "Blue" is the wildcard - sometimes good, sometimes not.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 06/22/2005 11:26 PM EST

P.S.: Just watched the official Herbie trailer, and it seemed Lohan-centric enough. I don't know about the TV commercials though - I'll pay attention to them next time I see one.
Also, I found it a little sad that Michael Keaton's in this film and not a new Batman flick....

Keaton > Bale > West > Clooney > Kilmer

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 06/22/2005 11:36 PM EST

Yeah, the trailer and radio ads have enough Lohan, but the tv ads I've seen...completely none. At first I thought the were specific ads targeted at family channels, but it's been consistent throughout.

On the other hand, I've already lost interest.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/22/2005 11:37 PM EST

Your link in the review says limon but the article says lymon. I'm confused and not just a little uneasy.

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 06/22/2005 11:39 PM EST

I don't have indisputable proof of its spelling, so we can flip around for now. Limon, lymon, it's all the same.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/22/2005 11:40 PM EST

I don't really know very much about the new Herbie movie, other than the fact that I probably won't see it... Maybe they just wanted to mix things up so people would comment on it and create more "buzz" about the movie? I dunno. BTW, Matt, your site makes me want to buy useless crap I'll never ever need. (coughDarthTatercough)

Chestnuts roasted by Mal @ 06/23/2005 12:18 AM EST

I don't care about Lindsey Lohan, but ANDY MILONAKIS WAS (supposedly) ON TRL TODAY and if I knew that before I would've went straight to MTV studios and demanded in!

Just because. Andy Milonakis is awesome like that.

Chestnuts roasted by Denise @ 06/23/2005 12:33 AM EST

I've seen some Lohan centric ads...I think the weight loss is less of a concern that her other tabloid woes, particularly her nutsy family.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/23/2005 12:45 AM EST

Matt,

I love Lemon-Lime Kool-Aid! In fact, last year instead of a cake, I had my mom make me Lime Jello for my birthday.

Chestnuts roasted by Review the World @ 06/23/2005 01:59 AM EST

Giant Snapple Popsicle Melts, Floods NYC Park

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050622/ap_on_fe_st/popsicle_disaster

Chestnuts roasted by Luap @ 06/23/2005 02:02 AM EST

I did hear that they had to go through the whole movie and "tone down" her cleavage or something. Look, her tits aren't that big or impressive. She's a C at best, and yet they had to make her look smaller? Because breasts are just SO not family-friendly. Nope, only whores have breasts. Goodly women have washboard chests. *rolls eyes* Seriously though, maybe that's why. She's not wholesome enough anymore. But, shouldn't they have thought of that BEFORE casting her in this movie? Eh. Who cares. Looks like a piece of crap anyway.

Chestnuts roasted by Jen @ 06/23/2005 03:10 AM EST

So, Matt....you don't know?

Reportedly, Disney is very upset with Lohan's recent carousing and un-Disneylike behavior, not to mention reports of anorexia. Given that she's no longer the wholesome "Disney Remake Queen" they hired her to be years ago, it's no surprise Disney is downplaying Lohan's role in these ads, and shifting attention to Herbie himself.

There's even a rumor that Disney digitally reduced the size of her chest in this film.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 06/23/2005 03:11 AM EST

You know, I've actually had Alligator meat. Much too chewy for me, and the taste wasn't so hot either.

Chestnuts roasted by Knegative @ 06/23/2005 03:15 AM EST

I am mystified by the Herbie Reloaded advertisements as well. You'd think they'd rather go "Hey look, there's a hot, famous (almost legal) chick in this movie!" rather than point out how horribly they are raping the steel carcass of the original Love Bug.

Chestnuts roasted by DarkPrimus @ 06/23/2005 04:17 AM EST

And so you all know, I don't actually find Lohan attractive- I'm just saying that's the angle they should have approached it from.

That makes me sound like I really do like her, and am denying it, but that's just the paranoia talking. Right?

Chestnuts roasted by DarkPrimus @ 06/23/2005 04:19 AM EST

Well, before about five minutes ago the only things I knew about the movie came from the TV ads, and I knew it stared Lindsey Lohan, if that says anything.

As for the digital re-boobing, it didn't seem very likely to me, so I popped over to IMDB. Found this link.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 06/23/2005 04:32 AM EST

Yeah, that's the thing, Disney is pissed that Lindsey is no longer Disney-behaviored. So since all the trailers were already done by the time she really started going wild, they must be trying to make amends through the TV ads. Apparently, even a song she recorded for the big race scene was cut from that an pasted on the end credits, and she reportedly up and left during the premiere, throwing hissy-fits and such.

No, I ain't a Lindsey fan, I'm a Disney nut, just so you know.

And Matt, Heartbeeps was cake. You'd cry if you saw the copy I got, so pristine and cristal-clear. The only problems I had were with Catskil's jokes and when they decided to throw very loud background music over the robots' dialogue.

Chestnuts roasted by Roddy @ 06/23/2005 07:16 AM EST

Lindsey Lohan is cool when she doesn't color her hair that bright blonde.

Chestnuts roasted by Ekkostar @ 06/23/2005 08:20 AM EST

Queen of Disney remakes is an accurate description.

Whenever I think of Lindsay Lohan, which isn't much, I think about the Harry Potter sketch she did on SNL. Hilarious yet very disturbing because she was still 17 at the time and all the boobie jokes, etc. Inapproriate anyone?

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 06/23/2005 08:35 AM EST

Humor AND Kool Aid, in the same place! Thanks, Matt.

Oh, and Lindsey who? Whatever.

That Snapple pop link is hilarious. Thanks, Luap.

Chestnuts roasted by Jimbalaya @ 06/23/2005 08:40 AM EST

Hey Matt, I read that Ric Flair is going to be at the Licensing convention today. Too bad he wasn't there yesterday.

Chestnuts roasted by Y2JB78 @ 06/23/2005 09:28 AM EST

Hey Matt,

Besideds the Lohan fest here and the likes/dislikes for lemon-lime kool aid, did you get stuck in the who snapple popsicle mess? Too bad you couldn't have documented that on film. Keep up the good work.

Chestnuts roasted by Tigerfan @ 06/23/2005 09:29 AM EST

Happy Batmanniversary everyone.
June 23, 1989.
Yes, I remember the exact date. It was burned into my mind by the constant commercials back in, well, 1989. Also I am a nerd.

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 06/23/2005 09:32 AM EST

I like Lindsay...but I don't particularly care to see the Herbster and Lohan in action. Oh, and DarkPrimus, depending on what you'd call "legal", Lindsay IS legal (in the 18 sense) as she was born in 1986, according to IMDb.

Chestnuts roasted by bad karma @ 06/23/2005 09:43 AM EST

Yes, to quote several Web sites and publications (none of which I've ever visited/read of course) she would most likely be referred to as "barely legal."

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 06/23/2005 10:03 AM EST

You know, I used to be indifferent to Lindsay Lohan, just like I'm pretty much indifferent to all those little starlets, but the more I read about her, the more she starts annoying the crap out of me. And I read that link from IMDb...Herbie getting antenna "erections"? I'm horrified. Look, I like movies with an edge, but Herbie shouldn't have an edge. He's Herbie! If you can't even take your kids to a G-rated Disney movie without them being subjected to sexual innuendo...

Anyway, on to way more important stuff...Kool-Aid. I had just taken for granted that most people loved Lemon-Lime Kool-Aid since it had been around so long. Now I know why more and more grocery stores around here are using the precious shelf space for more exotic flavors. Every time Mike (my husband) and I go to the store and see Lemon-Lime, we stock up for fear we'll never see it again. It's definitely in my top 5 flavors and it's getting harder to find (at least in my area.)

Mini-rant: You know, they may be able to fit more of our favorite stuff on the shelves if the stores didn't feel compelled fill them with store-brand items of EVERYTHING. I've heard several reasons why moms have refused to buy Kool-Aid, the high name-brand price has never been one of them. Now, I'm the first to admit that I'm a generic shopper, but when I can't buy A&W Cream Soda anymore because they needed an entire side of an aisle for all their flavors of "Super Chill" (including classics like Mountain Lightning and Dr. Perky), I get a little agitated.

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 06/23/2005 10:33 AM EST

Off-Topic: But tonight is zombie night on IFC. They're showing the original Dawn and Night of the Living Dead, plus Dead Alive.

Matt: You need to do a review of Dead Alive. Besides being Peter Jacksons first film. It's also one of the goriest and campiest movies I've ever seen. Blood and guts fly everywhere.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 06/23/2005 11:50 AM EST

Today's new phrase that pays:
"Digital Re-Boobing."
I love the Adam West Batman movie! As soon as I found it on DVD, I had to get it. "Some days, you just can't get rid of a bomb!"
Lemon-Lime is not one of my base flavors. The actual ratio of lemon to lime is usually up to the individual preference of the company involved. But Kool-Aid's is decent enough.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/23/2005 11:52 AM EST

I'm scared Lohan will ruin Herbie forever....so I'm just not going to see it and keep Herbie sacred in my mind!

Lemon-Lime.....now THERE'S one of the flavors I actually lived off of for a while.

"Batman Begins" opened today in Korea! I am definately heading out to see it this weekend, even though many previous posts tried to tell me not to.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 06/23/2005 12:30 PM EST

Yup, lemon-lime Kool-Aid was difficult to find in Quebec too. (I'm living in Ontario now, but I haven't looked for it here yet... when I'm in a supermarket, my priority "quest" object is Nissin-brand Cup Noodles with real freeze-dried shrimp; it's so hard to find in Canada.)

My "priority movie" this week is Land of the Dead, but I may take in Herbie: Fully-Loaded as well at some point, either this weekend or next week. I'm completely neutral on Lohan, but for Herbie nostalgia, since The Love Bug films aired so often on the CBC's Wonderful World of Disney back in the late 1970s and early 1980s (and Disney wouldn't put their Feature Animation classics onto video and Laserdisc until the late 1980s, so the Love Bug films were prominent fixtures in the children's video section of the godawful video store chains we had in Canada before Blockbuster opened). And, this movie was directed by Angela Robinson, whose D.E.B.S. was enjoyable self-conscious camp about an elite secret government squad of crime-fighting schoolgirls, rife with lesbian innuendo (though it's only one of them). I would have given it four stars out of five, but it was a bit short.

Say, since Herbie's not a robot (well, outside of the old Fantastic Four cartoon, at least), he can only be possessed. (Did Disney have enough guts to use the P-word to describe the nature of Herbie's consciousness in the old films?) Whose spirit is in Herbie, I wonder? Could it be...

...Hitler? While the working design was from Porsche, a lot of people don't realize that the entire distinctive "look" of the Beetle is actually based on some sketches of an economical streamlined vehicle suitable for driving on the Autobahn that Hitler himself drew in the early 1930s.

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 06/23/2005 01:00 PM EST

Steve, I can help you with the shrimp soup. Shoot me an e-mail -- they aren't hard to find here at all.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/23/2005 01:06 PM EST

The Lohan Report:

I think Lindsay Lohan is great! I like to read about all her wacky real life adventures in USA Today and watch Jay Leno ask her completely inappropriate questions while he stares at her chestesest in that eerie dirty old man way only he can get away with. I wuv Lindsay.

Here's a wacky Lohan Factoid brought to you buy Disney's Herbie: Fully Loaded! In real life Lindsay is in a feud with Jessica and Ashley Simpson. In Herbie: Fully Loaded, Lindsay's characters last name is Simpson (insert two snare drum hits and a symble splash here).

In Herbie news, Wal-Mart sells these gigantic remote controlled Herbies! They are 100 bucks and worth it. All though, the doors don't open like most of the gigantic r/c cars out today. So good luck trying to put your My Scene Lindsay Lohan doll inside of it to re-enact the family friendly digital re-boobing scene children and adults alike are going wild for!

This has been The Lohan Report.

Chestnuts roasted by Kennef @ 06/23/2005 01:52 PM EST

"It starts out okay enough, with a rather subdued yet unmistakably lemon flavor, but once you swallow it, the aftertaste is eerily similar to anyone who's had to swallow aspirin that wasn't in gelcap form. It lingers on the palette like a dead cat, its rotting filth forever oozing onto the nation's tongue."

Could NOT have said it better myself! I tried and tried and tried to drink that stuff when I was little and OH GOD... after 2 sips, I just wanted to gag, and there was another glass of green stuff sitting in my room until mom gave an annoyed sigh and threw it out. It's definitely the yuckiest of the Kool Aid.

PS - Blue things make me sick, unless it's a freeze pop. To tie this in - have you had the Kool Aid brand freeze pops?? I don't know how long they have been out but they are new around here. They are DAMN good, and there's no nasty pink ones, like that OTHER brand has.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryane @ 06/23/2005 01:55 PM EST

Oh, I can get Nissin Cup Noodles up here, just they seem to be a maybe 1-in-5 supermarket thing, and I can't find a supermarket that consistantly keeps them in stock. Mr. Noodle brand is more consistantly shelved, but they don't seem to sell the shrimp flavour in Canada.

When I see them, I stock up.

Thanks for the offer, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 06/23/2005 02:09 PM EST

I knew about the current attempt, but I found this by accident:

http://www.textfiles.com/media/film93.ans
G.I. JOE Summer 1994
Dir: Sheldon Lettich
Cast: TBA
Producers: Gene Kirkwood, Martin Abrams
Screenplay: Sheldon Lettich
Film will be released for th 30th Anniversary of the Hasbro toys. Expect to be bombarded with tie-ins.

Some more on the almost film from 1999:
http://www.aint-it-cool.com/display.cgi?id=4178
4. GI Joe (Warner Bros.)
Producer: Larry Kasanoff
I can't allow myself to think that anything good can come of this. I love the original cartoon. I love my toys. Ultimately I'd love a PIXAR CGI film about a planet where GI JOE dolls really do run the world and we'd see them running around, kicking ass and constantly warring. But then... that's just the dream I have after playing with my original Joes. Of course Cobra Command... Man, the movie could, if done right, erase all stains of that Hasselhoff NICK FURY tv thing.
Informative talkback post about the film's history:
http://www.aint-it-cool.com/tb_display.cgi?id=4178#74976

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/23/2005 03:30 PM EST

I forgot that Larry Hama is mentioned in the talkback post. If you were a fan of 80's G.I. Joe, Larry seems to be the guy to thank.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/23/2005 03:38 PM EST

MTV Presents: Pimp My Herbie.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/23/2005 03:41 PM EST

Maybe this helps:

Meanwhile, The New York Post and Brand Republic report that Disney made a huge publicity switcheroo when they realized the busty, red-headed star of "Herbie: Fully Loaded" was now a skinny blonde who looked nothing like her former self. The original movie posters, which prominently featured Lohan, were all destroyed and replaced by new posters featuring the car. At least a car won't change so dramatically. Look closely at that movie poster and you'll see a small picture of Lindsay in the background.

Chestnuts roasted by Y2JB78 @ 06/23/2005 04:34 PM EST

Y2J: We still have those older posters at my theater. Since we're a little one-screen indie house, studios don't pay much attention to us. We haven't received any new "Less-Lohan" posters, and the above is probably the only reason why.

Someone needs to get that girl a "Denny's Beer Barrell Belly Buster" (google for it and you'll know why), and soon, before the hotness that was Lohan becomes a distant memory as we deal with "Lindsay Flockheart"

Chestnuts roasted by Lost Prophyt @ 06/23/2005 05:36 PM EST

Speaking of the Belly Buster: Matt, you should come on down to Central PA and try that puppy out! Exit 120 off of I-80, not hard to find. Get a posse together, they have a team option for it (insert hysterical laughter smiley here)...

Chestnuts roasted by Lost Prophyt @ 06/23/2005 05:38 PM EST

Lohan is skanky now, I'll agree.

But the New Herbie movie is the bomb.

Saw it Sunday night in a special advance screen held just for VWs at a drive-in in Carlsbad, NM. It was awesome.

I did not feel the movie was "Lohan-Centric..." It does not feel like a teeny-bopper Lohan film at all. It feels like a Herbie movie. Silly, a bit unbelievable, but fun.

I know the guy that provided the cars for the film, and he is real proud of the fact that a large majority of the stuff Herbie does in the movie was done the old way, with remote control. Yeah, there is CG, but it's not too bad.

/This had been your official Herbie: Fully Loaded plug. Go see the movie!

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 06/23/2005 06:05 PM EST

Cameron T.:

Carlesbad has a movie theater? A drive in, no less? I need to go south more often, I'm in Santa Fe...and to think the only reason I went there was for the caverns.

Chestnuts roasted by Mara @ 06/24/2005 03:23 AM EST

Yep, with three screens!

They were playing Star Wars on Screen one, it looks like that's being replaced by Bewitched.

Here's the website:

http://www.fiestadrivein.com/

It's a very nice drive-in, IMO...and the concessions are cheap, too. No expensive movie theatre rubbish. Check it out sometime.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 06/24/2005 10:30 AM EST

Hey Lori, lets not forget that the precedence had already been set in a disney film. Buzz Lightyear sprung a bonar with his wings when he first saw Bo Peep!

Chestnuts roasted by PepsiKing @ 06/24/2005 12:30 PM EST

Of course, if you want to get technical, Toy Story wasn't a Disney film, per se...it was a Pixar film..

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 06/25/2005 12:16 AM EST

And if you want to get even more technical, people are always over-analyzing Disney movies looking for innuendo. I don't think it's necessarily the movie makers whose minds are in the wrong place.

Chestnuts roasted by jazzy @ 06/25/2005 09:45 PM EST

bad karma: Yeah, and according to IMDb, she was born JULY 2. Which means she isn't quite 18 yet. =P

But no, she is not attractive. I'm mystified about how people can find women like Lohan and Britney Spears (well, before she went back to her white trash roots) attractive.

Chestnuts roasted by DarkPrimus @ 06/26/2005 12:46 AM EST

DarkPrimus...do your math again... she isn't quite 19 yet.

Chestnuts roasted by bad karma @ 06/27/2005 08:41 AM EST