05/04/2005 Entry: "I met the Kool-Aid Man."

While at an editing facility today for a voiceover record, an older voice artist by the name of Frank Simms was doing his thing in the next room. We were introduced a few minutes later -- really energetic, manic kind of guy. Apparently sung/sings backup for Billy Joel, but more importantly, Mr. Simms gave me a sampling of what is surely his grandest achievement. Yes folks, for the past decade or so, Frank Simms has supplied the voice...of the Kool-Aid Man. As he tells it, as soon as the Kool-Aid Man was required to say more than his catch-phrase (something the original dude couldn't nail), Simms was in and has remained ever since. I didn't drop to a knee and swear allegiance, but I'm pretty sure he knew I was in love. The fucking Kool-Aid Man! Yes!

Chestnuts roasted by Jabo @ 05/04/2005 08:26 PM EST

omfg lucky. i want to meet him.

Chestnuts roasted by Majin @ 05/04/2005 08:42 PM EST

Matt, where the Hell is the post on the "Darth Dew" slurpee!
My 711's have the cups, yet no purple pitch black goo to fill them with! I'm losing my mind.
Since you now have a big boy job, can I take over a few articles, please.....

Chestnuts roasted by Jerry Horror @ 05/04/2005 08:54 PM EST

Holy crap, that's the coolest. Were you recording a voiceover too?
I picked up a Star Wars lotto ticket yesterday. I thought it would be ROTS, but it's Han and them hanging out in space.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/04/2005 09:11 PM EST

I was producing, we hired someone for the VO. And those tickets look greeeat!

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/04/2005 09:12 PM EST

All I need to say is Ohhhh Yeahhhh!

Chestnuts roasted by Well @ 05/04/2005 09:14 PM EST

I have to say, I'm a little amused by the fact that there was a guy out there only capable of saying, "OH YEAH!" How do you come home and explain that one to the wife? "Hon, I got fired today. They needed someone who could say whole sentences and stuff. [sniff] Hold me."
That's way cool, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 05/04/2005 09:20 PM EST

He only gave me the short version, but apparently the "Oh yeah!" thing started mostly as an internal gag and just grew from there. As the Kool-Aid Man was required to say more (like, say, in a Jammers commercial), they needed someone who could do the voice for more than the basics. Enter Crazy Simms.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/04/2005 09:21 PM EST

Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
OH YEAH!!

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 05/04/2005 09:53 PM EST

This is some freaky shit... this is the third kool-aid man reference I've seen in 2 days of just going about my everyday business. 1: Hanging out with a bunch of friends playing cards, when somehow the topic of kool-aid man in a bar came up. We all agreed that he would have an astronomical tab, what with all the wall breaking. 2: A webcomic, Applegeeks, mentions K.A. man's homicidal tendencies. 3:You.

It's just been kool-aid man o rama this week. Looks like he's planning his come back.

And the obligatory
OH YEAH!

Chestnuts roasted by Road Block @ 05/04/2005 10:01 PM EST

Serious. Is this christmas theme going to be up till next christmas?

Chestnuts roasted by St. Nick @ 05/04/2005 10:16 PM EST

Wow, Matt. It's been nothing but rapid-fire celebrity meet-n-greets for you for the past few days. I guess I won't be all that surprised if tomorrow's blog entry describes an accidental run-in between you and Santa Claus on the subway.

Chestnuts roasted by The Yeti @ 05/04/2005 10:34 PM EST

Holy Shit! The Kool Aid man! His commercials were such a party....lucky you, Matt! Didn't you once also meet the voice of Lion-O from Thundercats???

And you met CENA?? Jesus, I love wrestling, and I am quite jealous right now! I am quite behind in wrestling, though- I only just saw Wrestlemania the other day, and Raw and Smackdown are at least a month and a half behind over here in Korea...*sniff*

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 05/04/2005 11:05 PM EST

You met the Kool-Aid Man, and you didn't ask him for his autograph?

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 05/04/2005 11:27 PM EST

First Cena and now the Kool Aid man. You are running into celbs left and right.

Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 05/04/2005 11:52 PM EST

Oh Yeah, that is sweet. The KA Man has got to be one of the least appreciated icons of our times. All hail the Kool Aid Man!

Chestnuts roasted by TIgerfan @ 05/04/2005 11:54 PM EST

freaking awesome

Chestnuts roasted by Mike @ 05/05/2005 12:28 AM EST

One thing that bothers me, now is the fact that the Kool-Aid Man has pants. Did some whackjob honestly feel as if the moral fibre of America was in threat of unraveling because an anthropomorphic tub of juice was peter-pantsless?

Chestnuts roasted by James NeuFutur @ 05/05/2005 01:41 AM EST

Kool-Aid Man vs. John Cena at Wrestlemania? If only. Same goes with Christian vs. Captain Crunch. To hear Kool-Aid Man battle rap would be most excellent.

Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Acula @ 05/05/2005 02:11 AM EST

whoah! awesome. i love the new sugarfree kool-aid commercial. the kids are all "we're out of kool-aid!", but then they open another cabinet and its COMPLETELY stocked with the sugarfree variety. theyre just like "oh yeah, we forgot. sugarfree sucks."

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie Lightning Frog @ 05/05/2005 03:59 AM EST

Anyone remember the Kool Aid Man Atari 2600 game? To this day I can't figure out what the hell is going on in that game. horrible...

Chestnuts roasted by d-roc @ 05/05/2005 05:16 AM EST

The freakin' Kool-Aid Man!!! Holy Crap!!! Was he wearin pants?

Oh that Applegeeks reference had me LOL!!!

Chestnuts roasted by bad karma @ 05/05/2005 08:21 AM EST

Matt your soo lucky you meet all the stars.

Chestnuts roasted by With held namey @ 05/05/2005 09:04 AM EST

Damn Matt, that's awesome.
d-roc: Matt mentions the game in an older article. Not a full review, but it's in there (like Ragu).
http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/367.html

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 05/05/2005 09:16 AM EST

That is just way too cool, I would die to meet someone who does a voice for a cartoon, or a big ass thing of juice!

I did go and see Nancy Cartwright's show and she did invite ppl on stage, but only boys so I guess I missed my chance

Chestnuts roasted by IHAQ @ 05/05/2005 11:01 AM EST

A-a-a-awesome!

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 05/05/2005 11:59 AM EST

I gots the Kool-Aid Man game! You just move around stopping Thirsties from drinking up all the water. And wait for the KA packets to come out so you can get all nutso crashing into everything. Then you realize, "This game sucks!" Good way to waste two minutes.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/05/2005 12:24 PM EST

So now you meet the Kool-Aid Man...and yet still no camera.

Chestnuts roasted by Rosella @ 05/05/2005 03:40 PM EST

Oh yeah!

Chestnuts roasted by Evin @ 05/05/2005 03:50 PM EST

You're so lucky to have such grand celebrity adventures. Let's all share our celebrity adventures! I'll start: Melissa Joan Hearts husband, some guy from the band Course of Nature, is from here and so they visits every now and then. Melissa Joan Heart got all batchity with some girl at Waffle House because she ask Melissa for her autograph. Moral to the story, you better leggo her eggo!

Melissa Joan Hearts husbands former orthadontist is my orthadontist. The point of that story? Leggo my eggo.

Lastly, I once saw Hulk Hogan in the Nashville airport. Case in point? Leggo my eggo or I'll body slam you.

Chestnuts roasted by Kennef @ 05/05/2005 05:39 PM EST

me again any old downloads from the site would be good please? matt? hello? anyone?

Chestnuts roasted by yarb77 @ 05/05/2005 06:11 PM EST

The only celebrity encounters I can honestly admit to experiencing is meeting Jerry Only of the Misfits a dozen or so times. Of course, that's only because I go to Misfits concerts like it's my fucking job.

Chestnuts roasted by The Yeti @ 05/05/2005 06:22 PM EST

My mom has recently recalled the phrase, "Crazy lady pantyhose!" Neither of us can remember what the commercial originally employing these words advertised. Perhaps you can help.

Chestnuts roasted by Tougi @ 05/05/2005 06:52 PM EST

OH YEAH!!

Okay, I have a question.

Matt, Trajeal, kingklash, everybody else:

My fiance and I want to have the theme song for the Golden Girls as our Grand March song...is this appropriate? We both <3 the GG and it's cool with both of us. Thoughts?

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 05/05/2005 10:47 PM EST

If it's worth a mention on Lifetime Dot Com, it's worth doing.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/05/2005 10:48 PM EST

I need HELP identifying the name of a toy product from the 80s. I remember the commercial for it; it was some puzzle game that seemed inspired by the Rubiks Cube, but it involved triangles and/or a pyramid? And the most memorable thing about the ad, was that the voice-over was describing the product to the tune of that damn creepy song that goes "They're coming to take me away! Ha Ha! He! He!" That freaked me out as a kid. I remember the voice over saying "It's Guaranteed to drive you out of your mind!" If anyone knows the name of this product, please let me know, its been bugging me for quite awhile now. :-p

Chestnuts roasted by Johnny Arcade @ 05/05/2005 10:49 PM EST

Thanks Matt!

BTW, when I watched Fast Getaway 2 the other day, Corey looked fucked up out of his skull! He looked really wasted! Cracked out, smacked out, blacked out fucked up...it was a good flick!

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 05/05/2005 11:04 PM EST

Now that's very impressive Matt. All I've got is the Grandfather (Cliff's dad) from the Cosby Show came into the coffeeshop I work at one time. yup. thats about it...

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/06/2005 01:05 AM EST

Wow. Golden Girls, pyramid games...I really started a trend with my off-topic post, but let's not forget what's important on this board - saying "Oh, yeah!" an obnoxious amount of times (I'm thinking "obnoxious" came into play with the first mention) and telling Matt that he meets sooooo many celebrities.

I know I take the risk of not discovering the secret of crazy-lady panty hose as a result of being a jerk, but I'm just not strong enough to resist such easy targets for mocking.

Chestnuts roasted by Tougi @ 05/06/2005 01:44 AM EST

Wow, that'll be one of the crowning achievements of your life. Your children will envy you!

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 05/06/2005 02:10 AM EST

Hey, what did Frank Simms do during the late 90's? That was the period where they changed Kool-Aid Man's name to "The Big Man" and just had him dance around in the background of music videos. The real star then was some Jamaican-sounding kid. "KOOL-AID FLAVOR VISION IS ON!!"

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 05/06/2005 02:12 AM EST

Tougi, heh, I didn't mean to change the topic of the thread or anything, its just that of all the places online, I figured someone on X-E would remember what the name of that puzzle game was. I'm sure most of you guys grew up watching cartoons and syndicated sitcoms during the day in the 80s, and that's when it aired.

I read X-E consistently from late 2000 up until about late 2003, and then took a long break due to a lack of computer time. I've recently been back checking up on the place and found out that (almost a year ago?) Matt GOT A JOB AT NICKELODEON?!?! That is SO damn cool. I wanted to work for them so bad as a teen when I would watch pretty much anything they would air...over and over. These days they have some great live action comedies in Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, (a future Nick classic for sure) Unfabulous, Drake and Josh, etc.

Oh Yeah! I wonder if Frank Simms was Kool-Aid man on the Family Guy pilot...Oh Yeah! I met David Copperfield once after one of his shows...Oh Yeah! Matt meets a lot of celebs and is very lucky to work for Nick! Oh Yeah!...Cartoons

snap into a slim jim! dig it!

Chestnuts roasted by Johnny Arcade @ 05/06/2005 02:48 AM EST

kidneyboy, it was a song before it was a theme song, right? It's totally fair game. If you both love it, then all the more reason to use it. I want to use "Grow Old With You" by Adam Sandler (from The Wedding Singer) when Mr. Traj and I throw our ten year wedding anniversary party (in 2007 already - wow). If you like it, use it. It's all the more memorable that way. BTW, when's the big day?

As for celebrity encounters, hmmm...Brian Dennehy lives in the next town over, and everyone I know has seen him (besides me, grrr). I hear he has an affinity towards flannel shirts in his off time. Also, Mr. Traj was shopping at Walmart a few weeks ago and came across a crowd of people following someone. After getting a good look, he realized it was Renee Zellweger. Apparently, she bought a house here to make a compromise w/ her then boyfriend, Jack White. (???) They broke up, but she still bought the house.

Last but not least, Mr. Traj was invited to the wedding of Danny Klein, the bassist from The J. Geil's Band. Mr. Traj fixed his computer once and they became pretty close friends. He was actually working as a dishwasher at a local restaurant and playing in a band called Stone Crazy. He met up w/ a girl who was a groupie way back in the 70's/80's, who was now a prominent real estate agent making boku bucks. They got married a few years ago and moved to Boston. We couldn't go to the wedding b/c we couldn't find a babysitter.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 05/06/2005 07:57 AM EST

Johnny Arcade: I'll help cuz you're a fellow Johnny and dammit, we gotta look out for each other.
Instant Insanity. Haha. Hoho. Hehe. They're coming to take me awaaaaay HA!
It's gauranteed to drive you out of your miiiiiind HA!
Celebrity encounters: I met the entire cast of two shows. My friend had a big part on an episode of Homicide (a great detective show set in Baltimore which is no longer on but is missed by its fans) and so I met all of those guys. I was an extra on the West Wing once and met every one of them too. Martin Sheen is one of the nicest people you'll meet. I also met a bunch of Redskins players once at of all places Chuck E Cheese when I worked there. That was my first job. My first...hellish...disgusting...job.

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 05/06/2005 09:46 AM EST

I was in the urinal next to Jimmy Snuka at the Philly Intl Airport. Seemed like kind of an awkward place to say hi and shake his hand though. He looked exactly like he does on tv...bandanna, tiger stripe button down Hawaiian shirt. Guess the character isn't that much of a stretch for him.

Chestnuts roasted by Y2JB78 @ 05/06/2005 10:26 AM EST

My husband wasn't too keen on anything unusual when it came to our wedding and I honored his wishes. However, I bought a CD called Mozart TV which has classic (and some not-so classic) TV themes done in the styles of various composers and had that playing as everyone left the church to go off to the reception. You have to listen really closely to realize what you're hearing (and I don't think anyone did) but I received great satisfaction in it. I still have a fantasy of walking down the aisle to "Love Is All Around" from the Mary Tyler Moore show, though. Maybe we'll do it all over again for our 10th (which won't be until 2012, when we'll all be driving flying cars and wearing metallic jumpsuits.)

Chestnuts roasted by Lori @ 05/06/2005 10:46 AM EST

Instant Insanity was a cube puzzle where you line up the cubes in such a way that all exposed faces are different colors, and used Naploeon XIV's "They're Coming to Take Me Away (Ha Haa)" The pyramid puzzle is called Pyraminx. I like the idea of "Thank You..." for your march. But listen to the whole thing, it's pretty cool, the original version. Whenever I get married, I want to march in to "Da Butt" or the theme from "Beetlejuice." Possibly Lynard Skynard's "Whipping Post," a song made for people in love.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash cheats at Tetris by playing pentominoes. @ 05/06/2005 11:38 AM EST

the kool aid man was great lucky yuou matt getting to meet everyone.

Chestnuts roasted by Grunge[GG] @ 05/06/2005 11:58 AM EST

long time reader.. blah blah blah

well, since you're talking about celeb meetings and I'm bored, I thought I'd mention some of mine.

I met the Beaver when he was in like his late 30's or something. my dad works with the father of a guy who's got a really small part in Boyz 'n the Hood. I met him, he's pretty cool.

my "big" celeb meeting was at Universtal City Walk Hollywood. I was sitting there minding my own business when I saw Ben Savage. now, I had just watched a repeat of Boy Meets World that day and he was wearing the EXACT SAME CLOTHES. so I thought it was totally fair that I start busting up laughing at this fact. he noticed and as soon as I wasn't paying attention he snuck up behind me and freaked the heck out of me. we talked for a little after that. he's pretty cool~

I'm also really good friends with the #1 (only cuz the original #1 punk band, Crying Nut, had to go in the Army for their obligatory 2 yrs. and 2 months and just got out this past witner) Korean punk band in Korea, Lazybone. I've also met the #2 and #3 bands (well, their ranking depends on who you ask...) Crying Nut and No Brain. I've also played baseball and just hung out backstage with most of the rest of the "famous" punk bands there thanks to my connections through Lazybone...

I think that's all of my celeb meetings. if not, they must've been inconsequential enough for me to forget. I'm sure I've seen a few famous people since I DO live in L.A. but, I mean, who cares~ they're normal people out here...

Chestnuts roasted by lazy girl @ 05/06/2005 02:01 PM EST

I'm a legend in somebody else's mind.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/06/2005 02:39 PM EST

Ben Savage was born to play a younger Albert Brooks in one of the director's future films.

Chestnuts roasted by J to the A @ 05/06/2005 03:31 PM EST

i have the celeb encounter to end all... I have met and have an autograph from.... THE GENIUS! For those of you not as ancient as I he was a wrestler back in the day. AHHH feel those waves of jealously.

Chestnuts roasted by Miss Kitty @ 05/06/2005 04:10 PM EST

I got autographs from:
Undertaker
Paul Bearer
Shawn Michaels
Headbangers
Tatanka
Sunny

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 05/06/2005 04:21 PM EST

I know you did not ask for it, but check your local Fox affilates for the new version of A Current Affair. They supposedly paid a lot for amazing new footage of Bigfoot. I tune in today for an advertised update to see the host talking via a crappy satellite video phone connection (I understand in a warzone, but Manitoba?) to their wacky scientific expert.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 05/06/2005 07:30 PM EST

I dunno...I tend to believe things like this without justification, and even I'm giggling that they're presenting it as so legit. Pretty terrible video.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/06/2005 07:37 PM EST

Hold on to your pants!
Stan Bush - "The Touch" Transformers Music Video
That Optimus is from, I think, the second sydication run of the original cartoon.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 05/06/2005 07:41 PM EST

KINGKLASH,

The Allman Brothers sing "Whipping Post", not Lynard Skynard.
A perfect transition to my celebrity sightings. From Jax, FL originally and there are always Lynard Skynard sightings and run ins with band member children/step-children. Also, Ronnie Van Zant and the Gaines' grave WAS near my parents house.

My only real celebrity was with
Richard Gant from SEINFELD and JASON GOES TO HELL fame. He was on the plane from ATL to Paris (!) and when we landed, I went up to him and told him his work as the coroner in JASON GOES TO HELL was "brillant." He laughed. I didnt go for the picture; I regret it now.
http://www.fridaythe13thfilms.com/saga/part9/richardgant.html
FINALLY, AMC is having a FRIDAY THE 13th marathon next Friday.

Chestnuts roasted by The Manimal @ 05/06/2005 08:23 PM EST

That's kuhraaaaaaaaayzzzzzzeee. But highly amusing. You met the Kool-Aid man! Dang... now I gotta go make myself some Kool-Aid...

Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 05/07/2005 01:06 AM EST

Long time reader 1st time poster

Clebs I've met
"Weird Al" Yankovic
Len Lesser (Uncle Leo from Seinfeld)
Michael Moore (not that I cared so much to see him I just wanted someone famous in a movie I was making so I bombared him with my camera)
And I could have met Jon Sayles but I hate his movies so I decided not to. PS I love the site Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by legolarry @ 05/07/2005 06:16 AM EST

Stayed at the same hotel as the entire New York Rangers hockey team up here in Montreal, Canada, when they came to play the Montreal Canadiens...Now, the Rangers are my FAVORITE fucking hockey team, so when I found out they were in my hotel, I spent the enitre night hunting them down- I managed to meet/see half of the team (including Brian Leetch and Adam Graves) but missed my idol, my HERO...the one, the only Wayne Gretzky. They kept him hidden.

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 05/07/2005 08:49 AM EST

Oop, sorry 'bout that. Don't know how I mixed that up, listening to "Classic Rock" (who are the ad wizards that thought that up?) as much as I do. I have the radio on next to the iMac usually, and it might of throw'd me with the wrong song at the inopertune moment. Won't happen again. Damn bacon-filled cakes.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/07/2005 02:47 PM EST

The first thing to pop up in my head nowadays when I see Kool-Aid is Dane Cook's little rant.

Oh Yeah!
Oh NO! naughty, naughty, Kool-Aid

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 05/07/2005 08:22 PM EST

I've met people who may or may not be famous:

-J.J. Sedelmeyer: his studio used to do the SNL Saturday TV Fun House cartoons

-Jay Levey: "Weird Al" Yankovic's manager, video director (did
"Eat It" among other Al videos), and director of "UHF"

-Marc Summers: got his autograph at a rib cook off (was doing a Double Dare tour- they had some of the slides and stuff from the show but no slime of course so it was hard to go through the things)

Chestnuts roasted by JG Artnchicken @ 05/08/2005 06:11 PM EST

jhnnywalkr and kingklash, thanks for the help! I didn't realize I was describing two different puzzle games, guess I sorta killed two birds with one stone there.

The Manimal: I'm kinda looking forward to the Friday the 13th marathon on AMC, but won't the kills be edited since its on basic cable? :-/

Chestnuts roasted by Johnny Arcade @ 05/10/2005 07:03 PM EST

My dad had a small part in TONS of movies...

My bass teacher was the gutiarist in nobody's favorite.

Wow.

Chestnuts roasted by Fetus @ 05/14/2005 10:10 AM EST

Star Wars Episode 3
First Rough Draft
Plot Summary Script Synopsis Story
Revenge of the Sith
by
George Lucas

The Clone Wars are now over two years old. The entire galaxy has been thrown into chaos. On one side of the conflict are hundreds of wayward star systems, led by Count Dooku, who are rebelling against the Republic led by the scheming-in-secret Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious. The inhabitants of the galaxy are growing tired of the wars. Battles will break out with no warning in various star systems. Many star systems have been completed devastated by the Clone Wars. Suddenly, peace will be agreed upon by both sides and then, suddenly, the fighting will break out again.

Palpatine manages to frame the Galactic Senate and the Jedi Knights for much of what is going on during the wars. Palpatine makes them the scape goats for all of the galaxies many problems. The people grow tired of the Galactic Senate and the Jedi Knights. They are ready for drastic change and Palpatine realizes this.

At the beginning of the movie, Anakin is seen at an awards ceremony receiving yet another medal for his valor in battle. A pregnant Padme is with Anakin at the ceremony. After the ceremony, Palpatine manages to separate Padme from Anakin so that the beautiful, Asiatic-looking Darth Xio Jade can seduce Anakin. Xio Jade introduces herself to Anakin and uses a powerful, irresistible dark side mind trick to seduce Anakin. It doesn't hurt that Xio is also one of the most beautiful women in the galaxy. She records their affair on a Sith holocron and sends the holocron to Palpatine.

Palpatine then orders the Jedi Council to send Obi-Wan Kenobi to deliver the holocron to Padme. Padme is devastated after seeing Anakin with Xio Jade. Her trust in Anakin is now completely destroyed. She refuses to see Anakin when he arrives at their home. Palpatine's red royal guards quickly lead Anakin away from Padme. Palpatine then orders the Jedi Council to have Obi-Wan hide Padme from Anakin. Palpatine then sets up a secret meeting with Anakin. Palpatine tells Anakin that their are conspirators against both Palpatine and Anakin amongst the Jedi Knights.

He warns that Anakin's master, Obi-Wan, is no longer really his friend. Palpatine states that Obi-Wan wishes to end the marriage between Anakin and Padme. The blood in Anakin's veins nearly boils after hearing of this deception. Palpatine relates that Obi-Wan is the one who wanted Xio Jade to seduce him. Palpatine warns that Obi-Wan may secretly be a dreaded Sith Lord.

Anakin confronts Obi-Wan on a volcanic world. Anakin demands that Obi-Wan take him to Padme immediately. Obi-Wan refuses and states that the Jedi Council has told him that Padme is not allowed to see Anakin. Anakin is outraged.

Anakin draws his light-sabre and ignites it. Anakin demands to see Padme again. Obi-Wan refuses and tells Anakin to put down his light sabre. Anakin refuses. Obi-Wan lights his light sabre and then orders his padawan to put down his sabre. Anakin again refuses and strikes at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan quickly ignites his sabre and blocks Anakin's sabre. Obi-Wan states that this duel is dangerous because they are surrounded by many molten pools of lava. Anakin refuses to end the duel unless he is given access to Padme.

Obi-Wan states that he cannot disobey the Jedi Council and continues to block Anakin's attack. The two duel for quite some time. Anakin gets reckless and falls into one of the molten pools. Anakin's light sabre falls to the ground. Obi-Wan watches Anakin sink into the lava pool. Obi-Wan leaves to find help to rescue Anakin. Palpatine enters and has his storm troopers rescue Anakin from the molten pool. They then quickly leave the area. A few minutes later, Obi-Wan returns with some medical droids. They are unable to find Anakin. Obi-Wan assumes the molten pool has consumed Anakin's body. Obi-Wan finds Anakin's light sabre on the ground and takes it with him. Obi-Wan tells Padme that Anakin is dead. Padme is saddened by this news.

Palpatine's medical droids nurse Anakin back to health. Anakin is eventually placed into his familiar-looking black mask and body armor. Palpatine introduces Anakin to the ways of the Sith. Anakin grows to hate the Jedi and the Republic. Palpatine promises that, in time, Anakin will be reunited with Padme, but in the mean time Anakin must be patient and allow their plan to unfold. Anakin takes the name of Darth Vader. Only Palpatine and his trusted minions know that Darth Vader is actually Anakin. Everyone else believes that Anakin is dead.

The Clone Wars continue to rage on and thousands of Republic clones are killed in the various battles. The Galactic Senate is under heavy pressure from their people to find a way to end the wars. Palpatine continues to frame the Senate and the Jedi as the reason the wars are going so badly. The people demand and end to the Jedi's and Senate's incompetence and corruption. Palpatine takes this opportunity to declare himself Emperor. He immediately abolishes the Galactic Senate, Jedi Council and the entire Jedi Order. The people hail Palpatine as the savior of the Republic.

Palpatine replaces the Galactic Senate with the Imperial Senate. The members of the new Senate are hand picked by Palpatine. The Imperial Senate and Palpatine issue a proclamation declaring the Jedi Knights to be enemies of the Republic. They order the immediate arrest of all Jedi Knights. The Jedi begin to go into hiding. Boba Fett and Jabba the Hutt help Palpatine hunt down the Jedi. Many Jedi are killed during this purge. A new seven-member Sith Council, whose members all have the title Darth, replaces the Jedi Council. Darth Sidious is the leader of this Council. The other members of the Sith Council are Darth Tyranus, Darth Vader, Darth Jade (Xio Jade), a cloned Darth Maul, Darth Tau and Darth Vorron. To avoid arrest, many of the Jedi agree to become Sith Lords and hunt down their former Jedi allies.

Vader leads the hunt for the Jedi Knights. The Sith Council confronts the remaining members of the Jedi Council. An epic light-sabre battle between them erupts. Most of the Jedi Council is killed during this duel, but Yoda and Mace Windu are captured and taken to Count Dooku's star ship. Later, Padme is captured and also brought to Dooku's ship. Obi-Wan continues to fight in various Clone War battles.

Count Dooku's agents leak false information to Republic spies concerning a "Time Detonator" weapon being developed by Count Dooku's scientists on Geonosis. The fictitious "Time Detonator" is a weapon which temporarily freezes time. When it is set off in a star system, time freezes for everyone who is in the star system when the weapon is set off. An invading force can then enter the star system and conquer it rather easily. Palpatine states that the Republic must have this weapon. Of course, the "Time Detonator" does not exist and Palpatine knows this, but he uses this weapon as an excuse to send all of the Republic's remaining star ships into a trap. Palpatine expects Count Dooku's cloaked fleet to completely annihilate the Republic's star ships and remaining fighters.

All the star ships of the Republic military converge on Geonosis. The flag ship of the Republic fleet contains Palpatine and Darth Vader. Obi-Wan sneaks his star ship into the Geonosis system. Palpatine's flag ship detects Obi-Wan's ship and captures it with a tractor beam. Obi-Wan is brought aboard Palpatine's ship. There are no enemy star ships visible near Geonosis since Dooku's fleet remains hidden with cloaking technology. When the trap is set, Dooku's fleet de-cloaks and destroys most of the Republic's remaining star ships and fighters. Count Dooku demands that Palpatine surrender unconditionally. Palpatine pretends to be scared and agrees to Dooku's demands. Dooku's troops board Palpatine's ship and take Palpatine, Darth Vader and Obi-Wan as prisoners. The three are held in the lower levels of Dooku's ship.

Yoda, Mace Windu and a pregnant Padme are brought before Count Dooku. For Dooku's protection, Yoda, Windu and Padme are surrounded by four members of the Sith Council: Darth Jade, cloned Darth Maul, Darth Tau and Darth Vorron. Dooku announces that Palpatine and the entire Republic have surrendered. The great Republic has finally lost the war. Dooku announces that he has a surprise for Yoda and Windu. Out from the shadows of the room steps the legendary Darth Bane, thought to have been dead for many centuries. Bane is even older than Yoda. Yoda and Windu gasp in amazement. They immediately recognize the incomparably malevolent Darth Bane.

Bane cackles nefariously. Bane explains that he is no clone. He is the actual Darth Bane, who has remained in the shadows for centuries waiting for the opportunity to finally destroy the Jedi Order and the Republic. Palpatine, Darth Vader and Obi-Wan are brought before Dooku and Bane. Bane explains to everyone that he has used Palpatine and Darth Vader to destroy the Republic and the Jedi Order. Bane announces that he is going to have all of them killed including Palpatine and Vader. Palpatine pleads for his life. Bane laughs menacingly. Bane states that the only threat to him is Anakin and Padme's unborn child, the child of Anakin must die. No one knows that Padme is carrying twins. Bane reveals that Vader is actually Anakin and then Bane reveals that Palpatine is a Sith Lord called Darth Sidious.

Bane raises his hands to send powerful dark side lightning through Padme. Vader uses Sith super speed to jump in front of Padme as the lightning leaves Bane's fingers. Vader absorbs the lighting and then pulls out his light-sabre and ignites it. For the first time in his life, Bane is terrified. No one has ever survived a direct hit from his dark side lighting yet Anakin appears unhurt. Anakin is truly the only child of the Force and the most powerful Force user the galaxy has ever known.

Palpatine begins to cackle and explains that Bane and the members of the Sith Council are the ones who have really fallen into the trap. Darth Jade immediately flees the room. She know that Vader and Palpatine are going to kill everyone in the room. Mace Windu uses the Force to snatch a light sabre from one of the Darths. Windu ignites the light sabre and uses it to keep the other Sith Lords from getting to Yoda, Obi-Wan and Padme. The three (Yoda, Padme and Obi-Wan) quickly exit the room under Mace Windu's protection and head to the hanger bay to get a shuttle off of Dooku's ship. Windu bravely sacrifices himself to Darth Vader and doesn't survive much longer.

After Windu's tragic demise, a terrifying duel between Vader/Palpatine vs. Bane/Dooku/Vorron/Maul/Tau takes place. Vader and Palpatine completely annihilate their enemies. Meanwhile, Darth Jade jumps out at Yoda, Padme and Obi-Wan with her light sabre. She tells them that all of the shuttles on Dooku's ship have been rigged to explode upon powering them up. She says it is a trap set by Palpatine to kill them. Jade states that if they will help her hide from Palpatine then she will let them use her ship as a means of escape. Yoda, Padme and Obi-Wan agree since they really have no other choice. It turns out that Jade's ship happens to be a Corellian freighter called the Millennium Falcon. They escape on the Falcon and enter the safety of hyper space. Vader and Palpatine loom over the dead bodies of the other Sith Lords. Palpatine feels Jade's betrayal. He realizes that Yoda, Obi-Wan and, most importantly, Padme and her unborn child have escaped.

The Falcon arrives on an obscure planet called Dagobah. Prior to Luke and Leia's birth, Obi-Wan states that he will now go by the name Ben. The Skywalker twins are born on Dagobah. After many shed tears, Yoda is left behind on Dagobah. Jade then drops Obi-Wan and baby Luke off on the forgotten world of Tatooine. The final destination for Jade, Padme and baby Leia is the safety of Alderaan. Bail Organa greets them with open arms. Bail gives them a secret hiding place. Lastly, Obi-Wan is seen at Owen and Beru Lars' home. He gives Luke to them to raise. Obi-Wan tells Owen and Beru that Obi-Wan is now dead along with all the other Jedi Knights. He will now go by the name Ben. The film ends with baby Luke in the gentle arms of Ben Kenobi. The ghostly spirit of Mace Windu and the ghostly spirits of many other Jedi Knights appear behind Obi-Wan and baby Luke.

Chestnuts roasted by greef @ 05/24/2005 11:11 PM EST

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Chestnuts roasted by Sam 30.05.2005 22:37:24 @ 05/30/2005 03:37 PM EST