12/06/2004 Entry: "More Stocking Stuffers!"

Hey hey hey – got some newwww stocking stuffers this past weekend, and I love them to death. The neat thing about this batch? They’re all presented under the literal banner, “Stocking Stuffers.” Sure, you can by similarly conceived toys year round at every pharmacy and junk shop from here to there, but it just feels a little more special under this esteemed team moniker. Each package is shaped like a Christmas ornament, complete with a TO and FROM label on the back. They’re all dirt cheap (most were under two bucks, none were over two bucks), and while nothing special in the grand scheme of gift giving when everyone’s gunning for video games and anything with the word “plasma” in it, they’re some of those little intangibles that make the Christmas season worth Polaroiding. Take a look…

”Santa Putty”
Okay, so everyone has their Silly Putty, and everyone loves their Silly Putty. Is there room for a new spin? Depends on whether you’d classify replacing the classic red container with a Santa-shaped egg a “new spin.” I might, but only because Christmas is all about giving. Santa Putty contains a very lime green glop of goop (think melted saltwater taffy), which isn’t as dynamic as the real shit but is nonetheless pliable enough to stretch from wherever you’re standing to the North Pole, assuming you’re standing within three feet of the North Pole. My love for toy putty notwithstanding, it’s the Santa-shaped egg that really makes this stuff a must-have. It looks like part of a nesting doll set that got separated from all of its cousins and taken in by a sentient pile of radioactive slime. Just another everyday holiday tale.

”Magnetic Top”
Never got into tops. Still can’t figure ‘em out. This particular top, with its chrome blue hues and strangling rope, promises to make every top fan in the country pop erect nipples through their t-shirts. For me, it’s just another thing to chuck at the cats whenever they next decide to paw down my royal card deck castle.

”Bouncy Ball”
More commonly known as “superballs,” these things are literally capable of bouncing out of sight distance if you smack ‘em against the pavement hard enough. Just a wee bit bigger than the mega superballs (the large ones that cost an extra quarter at the vending machines), each weapon of bounce destruction surrounds a holiday-themed figurine. I found Santa Claus, a reindeer and the dude shown above, a happy snowman oblivious to the fact that he’s A) frozen in rubber, B) going to be thrown at hard surfaces, C) not really made of snow. It’s Christmassy enough for me to be moderately excited about, and things like this really boost the holiday ambiance for a kid when it comes time to sift through their loot. Not bad, and cheap!

”Play Dinos”
Say what you will, but I love these. I’ve always been down for a good pack of small dinosaur figures, but the deal becomes all the more special when they’re wrapped in Christmas cheer and presented as stocking stuffers. You get about a dozen or so, carnivores and herbivores of all different (and sometimes odd) colors. My personal favorite is the totally out-of-scale pterodactyl, standing nearly as tall as the T-Rex with a wingspan longer than the included brontosaurus. And, from the way its posed, you know the creature’s really proud of all this. Obviously, tiny dinosaur figures would rank somewhere in the high 70,000s on most wish lists, but you can’t deny how much happier Christmas morning would be with them on hand.

Not a bad haul, aye? Agree or die.

Chestnuts roasted by Evin @ 12/06/2004 02:34 PM EST

I love toys...especially little ones like that...they're the sort of thing my mum would wrap up and leave round the house that you'd find two or three days after Christmas and mum would say "I guess Santa must have dropped these while he was leaving"...I always fell for that...Man, I miss being a little kid...My kids are gonna get loads of stuff like that!

Chestnuts roasted by Monkey Boy @ 12/06/2004 02:51 PM EST

I love the dinosaurs! They would be good to put inside that clear homemade soap that is popular to make now so that you could shower with dinos every morning!

Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 12/06/2004 03:37 PM EST

I have one of those tops. My nephew was showing me a BeyBlade once, and I got my top, wound the string nice and tight, slipped on the ring, and KA-THWACK! Bye-bye BeyBlade!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/06/2004 03:45 PM EST

Those dinosaurs rock. I got a bunch in a Christmas stocking a long time ago. Mine glowed in the dark and for some reason were see-through green, hollow and had mouths opened wide enough to bite off a lego man's head. They were quite possibly the coolest stocking stuffer ever.

Chestnuts roasted by Law Girl @ 12/06/2004 03:58 PM EST

Matt... "weapon of bounce destruction"? You sonuvabitch...

Oh man, I love those little dinosaur things. I used to play with dinosaurs all the time. I wanted to be an archeologist at one point.

But then I realized archeology has less to do enjoying dinosaurs than it does with being outside a lot in the hot sun, getting dirty as hell, working for hours uncovering something with a little brush, and knowing if you didn't find a new species soon you'd be pretty much fucked as far as grant money goes.

But for a time... Dr. Grant, you were my hero.

Chestnuts roasted by Night_Trekker @ 12/06/2004 04:04 PM EST

Everything's pretty cool. I don't quite get the fun of the santa putty though. Besides the santa shell, there's nothing else santa about the moldable green snot.
What kid doesn't love dinos though?

Chestnuts roasted by turkeys can't fly? @ 12/06/2004 04:19 PM EST

I want Santa Putty. :¬(

I'm curious, Matt...are you writing the Advent Calendar day by day? Do you know what's in the rest of the boxes yet, or are you making it up as you open each one?

So far, the story looks good. Just make sure to finish it, unlike a certain other Advent Calendar... :¬)

Chestnuts roasted by The ORIGINAL Paul @ 12/06/2004 04:53 PM EST

Day by day. I generally know what's in the next day's box, but am not really concerned with the rest. Part of the fun for me is not knowing where it's going -- a fact illustrated in tomorrow's entry.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/06/2004 04:55 PM EST

Matt-I disagree Ma-(Nate suddenly dies.)

JK. Thos toy dinosaurs look familiar to me, especially that pterodactyl. I rememebr having a set of cheap plastic dinosaurs, including an orange and yellow pterodactyl, which happened to be my favorite. Could it be the same one?

Anyway, I like some of the jokes in your Advent calendar entry for today, as well as that TMNT reference. Say, did TMNT ever have an x-mas episode? I mean, I know they had that live action x-mas special, but what about the animated series? Anybody know? Perhaps I should look it up myself.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/06/2004 06:05 PM EST

Just did a little research, and found that it depends on what you mean by "animated series."

In the current series, there IS an animated x-mas special. It's called "Michelangelo's Christmas Rescue."

Furthermre, there is a special Christmas comic from back in the day called "Michaelangelo #1." I'm wondering if the episode from the new series is based on this comic. I'd have to do more reading to find that out, and I don't feel like doing that, so do it your damn self.

As for there being a Christmas special, or even a Christmas episode in the original cartoon series: Sorry. Alas, there is nothing. Which is both sad and odd, because you would think there would be. It would've been a commercial haven for Mirage Studios and Playmates. Come to think of it, Transformers and G.I. Joe never had Christmas episodes either. And you would think that these series would too.

I guess this disproves my theory that every popular franchise amongst children has a had a Christmas episode/special. Damn.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/06/2004 06:20 PM EST

Can't go wrong with a bag of cheap plastic dinos.

Some of the best stocking stuffers were Sticky Fingers. Don't know if anyone remembers those, but they were these sticky hands you got out of a vending machine for 25 cents. At Christmas time, my parents would get the jumbo sized versions that came on a blister card, and put them in my stocking.

Chestnuts roasted by Dude McGuy @ 12/06/2004 06:27 PM EST

Stockings rock!

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 12/06/2004 06:39 PM EST

DON'T FORGET...I believe tomorrow night at 8pm is Charlie Brown's Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Gerv @ 12/06/2004 06:43 PM EST

I would be content if I found those wacky dinos in my stocking. My parent usually put Reese's and batteries (?) in my stocking. Go figure

Chestnuts roasted by manimal789 @ 12/06/2004 09:07 PM EST

Night_Trekker just summed up my entire 6th grade year.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 12/06/2004 09:46 PM EST

The only thing that I'm dissapointed with this year is that the Advent Calendar doesn't have new characters in the boxes...Weren't 4 characters introduced at this same point last year? But that's not in your control...

Otherwise, keep on rocking

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 12/06/2004 11:34 PM EST

Hence why we started off with three. Don't worry though, they're coming.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/06/2004 11:36 PM EST

Saw the Advent Calendar today at the Halmark Store and despite my best attempts at self control I had to tempt fate and look into the future. So I have an idea about who the players will be, but as to their role only time will tell...

PS - Playmobile will make a toy out of ANYTHING. They had this cool HAZMAT removal set with guys in neon green Bio-hazard suits and a vacuum cleaner.

Chestnuts roasted by Shonuf1 - "Merry Christmas to you, in jail!" @ 12/07/2004 12:03 AM EST

I'm in my early 20s and my parents still give me a stocking every year for Christmas. Only instead of a real stocking with stuffed animals, cute stationary, stickers, My Little Ponies or Care Bears figures, holiday themed chocolate candy, etc. I now get a Christmas bag with soaps, socks and makeup. I'd much rather have the beanie baby and the Hello Kitty stickers.

Chestnuts roasted by KittyGirl @ 12/07/2004 12:12 AM EST

Damn, damn, damn. Matt, where do you find all this cool crap-ola? I neeeeeed some of this stuff. I'm desperate for stocking stuffers this year, can't find nuthin' I like. Of course, I'm not truly looking until finals are over...give me some clues for when I start.

Today's Advent Calendar = Genius

Chestnuts roasted by Emily @ 12/07/2004 02:47 AM EST

I am making myself wait to read today's Advent calendar entry to build up the suspense. And, since it's only 8am, waiting will make it seem like tomorrow's entry will be coming sooner. Yes, reading the Advent calendar is an exact science.

I must say, the worst thing about the Advent calendar and reading the entry every morning is knowing that w/ every entry, Christmas is one day closer, and I still haven't finished my shopping yet. I'm usually done in October, but this year, I'm just too lazy. At least I can get some ideas from reading the blog. The little trajs love figurines. Whether it be Army guys and neon colored dinosaurs or mini dollhouses and farm animals, they'll play w/ them all. I thought having three girls would turn this house into a pink and purple, lacy chenile type of place. Not a chance. I'm sure Bob, the pet garter snake, would agree.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 12/07/2004 08:16 AM EST

Well, he is overlooking the death of the dinosaurs.

By the way, i-Mockery has proof that the dinosaurs were Jewish. So maybe Santa crashed his magic flying sled into the Yucatan or something.

Chestnuts roasted by Yama the Space Fish @ 12/07/2004 08:26 AM EST

In the last few years, our stocking stuffers have become more practical, except for the annual ornaments. In other words, we're now more likely to get computer disks than dinosaurs in our sock. In our younger years, however, we quite commonly recieved toys like this (except for the superballs, which my mother banned in the house as they did far too much damage for her taste). We also got smaller action figures and Barbie clothes.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 12/07/2004 10:55 AM EST

Last year, my stocking had chapstick, socks, and a travel size shampoo and deodorant set. Being a grown-up SUCKS! How 'bout a new law... EVERYBODY gets at least one toy at Xmas! Who's with me?

Chestnuts roasted by Da'Frogg @ 12/07/2004 10:58 AM EST

Matt your stocking stuffers suck. Silly Putty, plastic dinos, and etc etc. The stocking is ment to place the rolled one dollar bills tied of with a ribbon into as well as some candy.

Chestnuts roasted by Tweety @ 12/07/2004 11:53 AM EST

It's not legally Christmas in our family unless every stocking has one of those packages of red and green M&Ms in the candycane-shaped tube. Technically, I guess they're not M&Ms because they're manufactured by Hershey's. We also get Little Debbie Christmas Tree Cakes, and then an assortment of other bits o' fun. My god, I'm 28 and I still get excited about my Christmas stocking at my mom's house.

Chestnuts roasted by Annie @ 12/07/2004 01:06 PM EST

I have the advent calendar and my daughters (7 and 3) are just getting sick every night because they are too excited about the plastic magic that awaits them in the morn.

I know what is in every box because I had to put it together. That was a fun little chore! I am anxious to see what you do tomorrow Matt, because I think tomorrow's gift is worse than the dog picture!

Chestnuts roasted by FunkDoC @ 12/07/2004 04:10 PM EST

Santa is an evil,EVILLLLLLLLLLLL man for killing those poor dinos.

I bet he wouldn't be so tough if they left his fat ass at Jurrasic Park.

Chestnuts roasted by Adam @ 12/08/2004 09:22 PM EST

Dinosaurs rock.

And what's this about Santa killing dinosaurs? Let's pit the Santa Egg against the giant dinosaur with the "unit" you reviewed a week ago. Santa's gonna get his ass kicked.

Chestnuts roasted by Gooper Blooper @ 12/09/2004 11:06 AM EST

Uhhh... why would Santa need to buy stocking stuffers at Toys R Us? Is there something I need to know???

Chestnuts roasted by Anon @ 12/09/2004 11:41 AM EST

There won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime.

Chestnuts roasted by Bob Geldof @ 12/09/2004 11:45 AM EST

Great stocking stuffers. Gotta love those dinos. And how about that Superball!! Damn those things are exciting. A snowglobe you can bounce w/o breaking? You may break something else. Like a REAL snowglobe.

oooh, I gotta tell everyone about the movies my store is selling. I work in a video store, and we have a bargain bin of $7.99 DVDs. We used to have a $4 bargain bin, but the movies were shitty. People bought them like they were going out of style. THIS bargain bin is Time Warner flicks (Warner Bros. and New Line). I found all of the Police Academy Movies, Ace Ventura, and MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE!! Sorry, it's the live action one. With Dolph Lundgren. Yes, him. Sorry. We also have "Pumping Iron." I work with a guy who thinks Arnold Schwarzenegger is a genius.

I had to plug the movies!!! They aren't selling!!!! If you live in the South Jersey area, and in the vicinity of a Hometown Video, go check out the bargain bin of "Hot New DVDs." No discounts for X-E fans, but still, $7.99 is an excellent deal.

Chestnuts roasted by Allison @ 12/10/2004 09:19 AM EST

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Chestnuts roasted by Goatshi @ 12/13/2004 12:03 AM EST

Okay, normally yes, but there's no way I'm deleting that.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/13/2004 08:39 PM EST

Where did you find the Christmas bouncy (superballs)? My daughter specifically asked Santa for one with "Santa" written inside it (I think as a challenge to see if Santa can really come through on the tough requests.

Chestnuts roasted by ckelly @ 12/14/2004 04:23 PM EST