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08/08/2004 Entry: "Spider-Man Reviews Crayons -> Part 3!"

Spider-Man's dropped the dead weight for Part 3, returning to that secret nuance of his that really brought him to the dance: an intense interest in reviewing each of Crayola's 96 crayons. It's finally over. We can never speak of it again. Check back here tomorrow for an Alien Fruit Monster update, and a couple of too-short movie reviews about murderous swine and happy cats.

REPLIES: 136 comments

Yah, that was great!
Hot magma it is!

Chestnuts roasted by Sarah @ 08/08/2004 10:50 PM EST

How often do they change colors in that box. i bought a big box of them a couple of years ago and I don't remember Inch worm or the crayons that had the fancy paper around them.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 08/08/2004 10:54 PM EST

I can't help feeling this series was symbolic of something.

Chestnuts roasted by Curious @ 08/08/2004 10:56 PM EST

I can't believe Spider-Man agreed to do that

Chestnuts roasted by SuperStar @ 08/08/2004 11:12 PM EST

HA adam bomb. that's old school

Chestnuts roasted by violent 3d @ 08/08/2004 11:19 PM EST

Crayons are always fun... didn't you review some Crayola halloween crayons once? You should put up a link to it while you're on this crayon trip. It will be like Spiderman reviews crayons all over again, only better because there are like 3 instead of 96.

Chestnuts roasted by Stormy @ 08/08/2004 11:22 PM EST

Hey 6th comment!

Chestnuts roasted by SHANE! @ 08/08/2004 11:22 PM EST

You let Silver and Gold go by without making a reference to one of those old Christmas specials in which Burl Ives (I think) made a big musical effin' deal out of uncountable riches for Christmas.

Materialism, and of course with all that silver and gold you could buy lots of the sponsor's products and...

I have no point. Nevermind.

Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 08/08/2004 11:23 PM EST

I think they keep all the "normal" colors and switch up the special ones. Mine came with construction paper crayons and some slick shiny ones.

Chestnuts roasted by Stormy @ 08/08/2004 11:24 PM EST

When i first started checking this site out about 3 years ago the blog on most articles was like 40-50 tops. now it's like 140-150. so congrats on that matt. i had some more stuff to say, but now i don't feel like typing it all. oh well.

Chestnuts roasted by naturekid @ 08/08/2004 11:25 PM EST

Did you know that you can melt these crayons and make candles from them. Oh yes, sweet candles.

Chestnuts roasted by Mangus Dangus @ 08/08/2004 11:33 PM EST

absolutely amazing. I am going out right now to go buy crayons. lots and lots of crayons...

Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy @ 08/08/2004 11:40 PM EST

Awesome. I was always a fan of those wild named crayons like Inchworm. I'm almost positive inchworm isn't a color anyway.

Hey, philosophy question for ya. If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, what color is it?

Chestnuts roasted by Aristobulus @ 08/08/2004 11:55 PM EST

Silver and gold, silver and gold,
Ev'ryone wishes for silver and gold.
How do you measure its worth?
Just by the pleasure it gives here on earth.

Silver and gold, silver and gold
Means so much more when I see,
Silver and gold decorations
On ev'ry Christmas tree.

I would have been amiss not to have mentioned that Rudolph song.

Chestnuts roasted by Shelby @ 08/09/2004 12:01 AM EST

Nice RHPS reference. Come on, you KNOW you like that movie...Don't deny it...

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron T. @ 08/09/2004 12:04 AM EST

"Something under the covers is ticking me!"

Lucky Spiderman. I want to be ticked under the covers too!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 08/09/2004 12:05 AM EST

Oh, and I like the new front page, Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 08/09/2004 12:08 AM EST

Where was Burnt Sienna and Raw Umber? I know they were mentioned before but did they discontinue those colors? For electric fruit instead? ACK!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr King @ 08/09/2004 12:21 AM EST

i don't know if anyone mentioned this already but the neon crayons are really cool to use with a blacklight.

Chestnuts roasted by cathyc @ 08/09/2004 12:36 AM EST

This whole thing made me go out and buy a box of 120 crayons.

And there's a typo on the Tickle Me Pink segment. Just in case you wanted to know. Spidey say's something's 'ticking' him.

Chestnuts roasted by Joe Strummer @ 08/09/2004 12:52 AM EST

I noticed while lurking here that there are those here interested in the animated series "the Raccoons". Here's a petition I want y'all to sign:

http://www.petitiononline.com/raccoon1/

Chestnuts roasted by figment @ 08/09/2004 01:18 AM EST

The Raccoons are on DVD, I have the first one

Chestnuts roasted by SuperStar @ 08/09/2004 02:09 AM EST

Robin Eggs are indeed blue no one has to get eye cancer now thank goodness.

Chestnuts roasted by VernalTrout @ 08/09/2004 02:13 AM EST

Silver is my favorite color.

Chestnuts roasted by Bloodshed Goth @ 08/09/2004 02:20 AM EST

Ugh... "Racoon" has only one C.

Chestnuts roasted by Brandon @ 08/09/2004 02:57 AM EST

Oh, wait. My mistake. It does have two C's.

Chestnuts roasted by Brandon @ 08/09/2004 02:58 AM EST

nice job with the crayon stuff. nowhurry the fuck up and make the archive work

Chestnuts roasted by Dustinsballs @ 08/09/2004 03:37 AM EST

The Raccoon's were nifty. I liked Cyril Sneer's pig sidekicks...god, 1980s staple Canadian sunday television was fun.

Chestnuts roasted by Cannibalizer @ 08/09/2004 04:09 AM EST

Brick Red truly is a crayon of the gods. I'm just surprised it took so long to get to it.

I think Raw Umber was a higher level monster in D&D, if that helps.

Chestnuts roasted by The Waffle Man @ 08/09/2004 05:13 AM EST

Hey, Matt! If you were to draw and colour a picture of a glass of Hi*C Ecto-Cooler, which green crayon would you use?

Chestnuts roasted by Liquidduck @ 08/09/2004 05:18 AM EST

Where can I get the DVDs Superstar?

Chestnuts roasted by figment @ 08/09/2004 06:26 AM EST

I want to know the details for 'coloring your state'.

Chestnuts roasted by Scuba Steve @ 08/09/2004 07:15 AM EST

Dammit, now I want crayons. Especially copper.

Chestnuts roasted by Vidd @ 08/09/2004 07:31 AM EST

OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS PINK CRAYON!

Chestnuts roasted by 4fcf4c4 @ 08/09/2004 08:18 AM EST

If you're in Canada, Wal-Mart and Superstore, I don't know for Americans

Chestnuts roasted by SuperStar @ 08/09/2004 09:47 AM EST

Great review Matt!
I can't believe you reviewed every one...then again I didn't count so you could've cheated. Not that it matters.
But did the box have the almighty sharpener on the back? that alone is a review in it self.

Chestnuts roasted by Jenner @ 08/09/2004 10:34 AM EST

I agree about brick red. One of the best! Where did you find the spiderman figure anyway? He can really talk it up!

Chestnuts roasted by Danny @ 08/09/2004 10:35 AM EST

"Brick is Red"? I can't wait for "Caribou Blue", "Bone Machine Green", and "Into the White"

Chestnuts roasted by Proper Copper @ 08/09/2004 11:01 AM EST

I laughed a lot during this. And that Spiderman figure is so cute. Can i have his number?

Chestnuts roasted by Angela @ 08/09/2004 11:09 AM EST

You're one sick puppy Matt, and we love you for it. Part III was definitely the best in this trilogy. I so need a coloring book, some crayons and a couple of new action figures for the weekend.

And here I was planning on getting drunk, going out and get laid by desperate women... YOU SUCK MATT!

Chestnuts roasted by Rattus @ 08/09/2004 11:28 AM EST

I haven't seen any Raccoons DVDs at the Wal-marts I've been to. I checked to see if Amazon.com had them but they didn't. That sucks!

Chestnuts roasted by figment @ 08/09/2004 11:33 AM EST

I think every adult in America should have a big box o'crayons and about five coloring books, three of their choice, and two random. Or, assign a crayon to each member of X-E. I call Violent, I mean Violet! It's (purple).

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 08/09/2004 11:45 AM EST

Whee, candle crayons! Just gotta make sure that the crayons you're using are actually made of wax. My grandma had some plastic crayons lying around when I got the brilliant idea to make my own candles... It didn't work very well...

Chestnuts roasted by T.G. @ 08/09/2004 12:24 PM EST

What is the strange hold that Spiderman has? Now I want to go buy crayons.

Chestnuts roasted by Kay @ 08/09/2004 01:04 PM EST

I think this 'Spider-Man reviews crayons' thing was just for Matt to prove that no matter how stupid something is on here, people will still read it because it's on x-entertainment. I tip my hat to you, sir.

Chestnuts roasted by Shmu @ 08/09/2004 02:28 PM EST

I have this insane urge now to go and buy crayons, and hold one, repeating "Indigo Montoya" over and over and giggling.

More meds please.

My favourite thing to do with crayons was to shave little pieces off them, stick them between pieces of paper and iron them. They all melted and created "art", and we made mother's day cards out of them. Except my mom wasn't too impressed to get Burned Sienna and Violet traces on my dad's shirt because the crayons leaked from between the papers onto the iron.

This review was one of the most useless, irrelevant and unnecessary piece ever to exist in cyberspace. Thank you for that, God know we all can use more of a good chuckle.

Chestnuts roasted by Yzziefrog @ 08/09/2004 02:50 PM EST

Part 2 of "Keiki: Low Brow" is now up. Check it out!

If "The Raccoons" were on DVD I would know. www.tvshowsondvd.com is very thorough. The Raccoons is not there....

And the Dr. Mario song went like, "BLABADOBA-BLABADOBA-BLABADOBA-BLABADOBA-BLABADOBA-BLABADO-WHOAAAAAA!!!! HE'S GOT THE CURE! WHAAAA!!" I still haven't seen a wmv of that ad...it's the original one with Neal Patrick Harris, not the later one with the witch doctor. Apparently Matt has it, so....let's see it again!

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 08/09/2004 02:51 PM EST

Great stuff

Chestnuts roasted by the dude @ 08/09/2004 02:56 PM EST

Thanks for the "Raccoons" info! I will totally sign the petition.
Matt- Have you seen or know of the Raccoons? Or is that just something us Canadian folk grew up with? Either way, it was a wicked show. And the theme song rocked! So many times I have fallen in love with a show due to its theme song..hence 'heathcliff' and 'denver the last dinosaur!'

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 08/09/2004 02:58 PM EST

I don't remember The Raccoons HAVING a theme song. It just had clips from the show and then a narrator explaining who everybody was, then "THE RACCOONS!" spelled out in stars in the sky.

Maybe that was just what was done in America. In America it aired on The Disney Channel, back when you had to pay for it.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 08/09/2004 03:05 PM EST

HAHAHHAHAHAH

Chestnuts roasted by =) @ 08/09/2004 03:07 PM EST

Dahctah, Dahctah. Mario

Was this a combined Pink Floyd and Nintendo reference, or am I reading into things a bit much?

Chestnuts roasted by a piece of milk @ 08/09/2004 03:25 PM EST

Love the new front page layout. It's easier on the eyes.

Chestnuts roasted by Fireball @ 08/09/2004 03:41 PM EST

I like the new ransom note style banner...it's very festive...just like real kidnappings!

Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 08/09/2004 04:01 PM EST

Shmu, I have to disagree with you on that one.

Personally, I think Matt did this series simply to show off the Spider-Man figure he bought...
The thing's $25 and has 67 points of articulation.
I'd want to show it off semi-annonymously, too...

Chestnuts roasted by Chimpbot @ 08/09/2004 04:23 PM EST

I love the front page's new look. The ransom note effect should be used more often in all media

Chestnuts roasted by pulseczar @ 08/09/2004 04:36 PM EST

You closed the Photog blog? NOOOOOO!

Something is going on, I just got 3 viri in my e-mail from Nathan@bungie.org

Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 08/09/2004 04:55 PM EST

MARS- You're right- at the beginning of the show, it was just a narrator...At the END of the show however, that's when the kick ass theme song played! "you can run with us, I see passion in your eyes, run with us- we are free."

Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 08/09/2004 07:35 PM EST

Make new friends, but keep the old
One is silver and the other's gold

Great articles!

The new title covers up Stinkor and Bumblebee's eye, they told me they like to see what's going on!! Help!@!

Oh well, I still liked the yellow block title. meh.

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 08/09/2004 07:39 PM EST

Damn. Nice. I know how hard it can be to write a huge review of stuff like this (I once wrote a paragraph on every item in Amazon's Top Christmas Toy List), and to be able to pull it off is a huge feat. Great work.

Chestnuts roasted by kodo @ 08/09/2004 08:06 PM EST

Its been a long time since I've seen something so funny. Probably since I saw the last Chia-Episode.

Chestnuts roasted by Barry J. Deeper @ 08/09/2004 08:06 PM EST

These last three articles were hilarious. Great job on those! big grin

Chestnuts roasted by Nemephosis @ 08/09/2004 08:32 PM EST

I didn't bother to read through most (and by most i mean practicly all) so I dunno if this was already suggested but someone said something about melting the crayons and making candles... that should DEFINITLY be spidy's next move.. you know to put some closure on his horrible experience.

Chestnuts roasted by Unoriginal Post Type #AO3AE7 @ 08/09/2004 08:56 PM EST

you probably got those email virii because the address is on a web page somewhere. Try Google for it

Chestnuts roasted by sghfh @ 08/09/2004 09:00 PM EST

As always, this trilogy was AWESOME!

...and you should still consider reveiwing UHF

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 08/09/2004 09:31 PM EST

SPIDEY ROCKS!!!! THANK YOU SPIDEY for dropping the dead weight of the second installement, I know you wouldnt let us all down.

Chestnuts roasted by rimmie @ 08/09/2004 09:58 PM EST

Yes! Spidey should try reviewing...potato chips! Or pizza! Or pizza potatop chips!

Chestnuts roasted by Walks @ 08/09/2004 11:48 PM EST

Thumbs up for the Adam Bomb reference. Somehow, the thought of Spidey watching old WWF jobber shows fills me with glee.

Chestnuts roasted by Creature SH @ 08/10/2004 12:04 AM EST

MAKE THE FUCKING ARCHIVES WORK. please and thanckyou

Chestnuts roasted by dustinsballs @ 08/10/2004 12:32 AM EST

I am not embressed to say that i laughed so hard that i cryed when spiderman was laughing that was tickling him under the covers. For a sconed there i thought Fake Zartan had come back there. Helarous matt. One of your best yet keep them comeing.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryan @ 08/10/2004 12:51 AM EST

Ha. Viola. Like the instrument.

Chestnuts roasted by Fresco @ 08/10/2004 02:14 AM EST

Haha....I totally laughed out loud when I read the comment for "Pacific Blue"! My dad was in love with that show. Nice Subway bottled water at the end too...

Chestnuts roasted by Javier @ 08/10/2004 05:17 AM EST

Ahahahahaha I thought I was the only one who remembered Denver the last dinosaur!! He was green and had a skateboard!!
Weird enough, thats how I learned my multiples of 6, when I was in grade 4.

Chestnuts roasted by Sarah @ 08/10/2004 11:04 AM EST

maybe the watermelon crayon doesn't smell like watermelon, but i'm sure that tickle-me pink smells like spiderman's ass

Chestnuts roasted by dolemite @ 08/10/2004 11:04 AM EST

Haha, "Part Four of Three" on the second page's title

Chestnuts roasted by dajxd @ 08/10/2004 11:50 AM EST

How come in my pack o' Crayola "Gray" and "Silver" were identical? Is it because I live in England?

Chestnuts roasted by The Academic Moderator @ 08/10/2004 12:55 PM EST

MAKE 'IM REVIEW THE ROSE ART ONES!

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Chestnuts roasted by Goz @ 08/10/2004 05:31 PM EST

That was so damn awsome!!

Chestnuts roasted by SHNAG @ 08/10/2004 06:23 PM EST

as The Raccoons has been mentioned:

http://www.spraynet.freeserve.co.uk/music.html

a cover/dancier version of run with us from the end credits is here and is amazing!!!!!! you can all thank me here www.faceparty.com/thegame_nickb

PS Matt, would you like me to send the article of The british seaside arcades???

Chestnuts roasted by Nick Soapdish, now with added cyber purple hair and a Gay Bar inspired Beard @ 08/10/2004 07:48 PM EST

I so remember that Sesame Street thing where they made crayons! I rmember that music too, and have it stuck in my head at the moment. It was a weird music that somehow made me think of orange juice. Or maybe that was simply due to the fact that the documentary mostly focused on orange crayons.

And Slater (or should I say Mario Lopez) was on Pacific Blue. Of course, you probably already knew that, but I felt like mentioning it anyway just because it involves a Saved by the Bell character. Time out!

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 08/10/2004 10:40 PM EST

Hey hey hey, WHAT is going on here?

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Belding @ 08/10/2004 10:41 PM EST

Oh, don't worry Mr. Belding, we were just showing Nate here, a new student, around the school and upon meeting Slater he thought he recognized him from some other TV show.

Chestnuts roasted by Zack Morris @ 08/10/2004 10:43 PM EST

What do you mean OTHER TV show?

Chestnuts roasted by Screech Powers @ 08/10/2004 10:44 PM EST

Actually, English judges still wear those silly wigs.

Chestnuts roasted by The Masturbating Bear @ 08/11/2004 02:32 AM EST

I remember the old flourescent blue in the neon box of the 96 pack. It used to be blizzard blue. It was my favorite crayon so it was only fair that it be removed and replaced with newer crayon with an even edgier wrapper. All part of the marketing business. My new favorite colour is red.

Chestnuts roasted by Brillski @ 08/11/2004 02:35 AM EST

Coloring? What the--??? I thought these waxy wonders were individually-wrapped colorful snacks!

Chestnuts roasted by Jodi @ 08/11/2004 01:19 PM EST

They need to add a new color and call it NO-MATO

Chestnuts roasted by Dudeuh @ 08/11/2004 02:24 PM EST

This was the best series ever, aside from COBRAS CHIA PLOT.

By the way, what the hell happened to that series?

Bring it back.

Chestnuts roasted by Julian @ 08/12/2004 12:58 AM EST

yeah, naturekid, i was just having that same thought (about the days when there were few comments on the blog) a few days ago. i think this is awesome; i seriously had NO clue so many people shared my sense of humor or my strange interests in outdated snack foods. shit, son.

Chestnuts roasted by cartvandal @ 08/12/2004 03:03 AM EST

HILARIOUS series. I read every single madcap word (and yes, I just used the word "madcap" so deal). Anyway, I must admit that I love the neon red color not to mention Macaroni & Cheese and Pacific Blue and Plum and so very much more. Too bad that when I was a kid there were 64 colors tops--and my mother would only buy me the 24 or 48 box because I ruined them in a heartbeat. Anyway, loved it.

Chestnuts roasted by shelly @ 08/12/2004 08:20 AM EST

Great article as alway Matt.

As far as The Raccoons goes it was a great show. I remember watching it on Disney when they had the free preview weekends and I loved it. I was able to find it on Amazon.com and E-bay. Kind of short on money right now or I would definitely pick them up.

Chestnuts roasted by Beerstalker @ 08/12/2004 11:21 AM EST

WOW! that was AMAZING! i love spidey. He helped me pass a whole afternoon at work today... and actually made me laugh. Instead of sitting here with a 'I'm deperate for the day to end' look on my face. Thanx Spidey.

P.S- You're Clever

Chestnuts roasted by Cobain's Grrl @ 08/12/2004 05:33 PM EST

Man, Spider Man should do more reviews.

Chestnuts roasted by Werewolf @ 08/12/2004 09:14 PM EST

That ws great man.

Chestnuts roasted by Yaya @ 08/12/2004 09:15 PM EST

Oh..MY...GOODNESS! YOU FORGOT CYAN! Don't make me go back there and count the crayons. Because I KNOW CYAN has to be somewhere in there-- it's my favourite!

You'll pay for this! GRAWR!

Chestnuts roasted by Linda @ 08/13/2004 12:44 AM EST

http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0915/b/15.jpg

"It's okay, you had Subway for lunch."

Chestnuts roasted by Bob @ 08/14/2004 02:30 AM EST

bloody hell that was great! It must have been really hard coming up with something amusing to say about every single color but you managed it! well done. that was a real classic barn burning slobberknocker of an article

Chestnuts roasted by "the jim" @ 08/14/2004 04:06 AM EST

Slobberknocker? Wha?

Chestnuts roasted by Jeep @ 08/14/2004 01:00 PM EST

I found out that they sell Raccoons DVD at amazon Canada. Why don't they sell at American Amazon.com?

Chestnuts roasted by figment @ 08/14/2004 08:02 PM EST

I found out that they sell Raccoons DVD at amazon Canada. Why don't they sell at American Amazon.com?

Chestnuts roasted by figment @ 08/14/2004 08:02 PM EST

Sorry, I didn't mean to post the comment twice

Chestnuts roasted by figment @ 08/14/2004 08:03 PM EST

"Then how do you explain this 'tan?!'"

Beautiful.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim-E @ 08/15/2004 12:53 PM EST

"Then how do you explain this 'tan?!'"

Beautiful.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim-E @ 08/15/2004 12:55 PM EST

Wow....everything I never needed to know about Spidey's secret crayon obsession...

Chestnuts roasted by Chantelle @ 08/15/2004 11:15 PM EST

OMFG!! duuude tht was funny as fuck. i totally showed that to my freind in germany(he doesnt live there though)and laughed his ass off too. Duuude what was goin through your mind when you did that?? jeez thankk god for retarded psycopaths like you man! psychos with too much time. i'm thinkin of ditchin' my friends & throwin' my t.v. out the window so i have too much time too.i think i already do though, cos i'm writin such a long comment.DUUUUUUUUDE!!!do sum more shit like that!! have you got a mailing list?let me check..... i cant find one but whatever dude.

Chestnuts roasted by Cornelious Finch @ 08/16/2004 04:43 AM EST

Spidey should review everything. Movies, books, music. EVERYTHING.

Chestnuts roasted by aaron @ 08/16/2004 02:56 PM EST

I just remember that there was a contest to name the crayons maybe 10 years ago and kids suggested the names "Robin's Egg Blue" "Tickle Me Pink" and "Macaroni And Cheese". For awhile there, I believe they even had "Purple Mountain Majesty" as a crayon color. Color me ridiculous...

Chestnuts roasted by Meg @ 08/16/2004 07:01 PM EST

There was indeed a purple mountain majesty, though I may be remembering some patriotic crayolas that may or may not have existed, because I"m also remembering an "amber waves of grain" crayon

Chestnuts roasted by someone named something @ 08/17/2004 02:30 AM EST

Here's the google-found related links posted by my browser while I was reading the last page of review part 3:

"Crayons
Up to 69% Off Supplies for Small & Large Businesses at Viking Office