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07/07/2004 Entry: "Dracula The Musical? Iced Teasers?"

The next volume of 80s commercials won't be done till tomorrow night, hopefully, but here's a teaser -- an iced teaser. Yes, it's "Iced Teasers," a failed experiment from Nestea featuring goofy iced tea drink mixes with some extra zings of lemon, lime and orange. It's one of those products that was surely better in theory than on your tongue, but the commercial did a great job of making me want to eat raw limes. Click here to see it! Another dozen downloads are coming up in the next lot, including something about pro-wrestling and something about toothpaste.

So far so good with Nick. Love it. In the mornings I grab coffee at this little deli, and refuse to drink it anywhere else but that deli, so I can extend the time gazing with lust at a big "Dracula The Musical" sign across the street. I don't know the specifics of the play other than the fact that it doesn't open till August, but I vow to be at least within the first 6,700 people to see it after it debuts. The sign (a bunch of cheesy light bulbs form the text) reminds me of the sadly burned down "Castle Dracula" ride over in Wildwood, a place I dream about nightly, humming scary music in my sleep.

Ah, so let's get another survey topic going. It's been a while. Okay, disappointing movies. As in, what movies were you really, really excited to see but thoroughly disappointed by 'em after you did? I can name several million, but one of the more obvious candidates is American Psycho. I'm sure I'll remember the other millions later, but you go first.

REPLIES: 192 comments

I was stoked about Punisher, but it didn't have the pizzaz I was expecting.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/07/2004 10:24 PM EST

First Post (had to cut that post short because I wanted to get first post). Anyway, it's good to hear that you're enjoying your job at Nick. Not very many people have such luck. Hell, the only thing I've ever had happen to me that came closest to your opportunity was when I got into the school-wide spelling bee in the fourth grade. I didn't win.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/07/2004 10:27 PM EST

It's a toss up between Men In Black II and Matrix Revolutions.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 07/07/2004 10:32 PM EST

I should probably mention that I didn't hate Punisher. It's just that it didn't make me want to strap guns to myself and hunt down all the schoolyard bullies from my past. But I suppose that's a good thing.

Oh, and thank you so much for that lovely Nestea commercial. From now on, I'm only gonna be attracted to women who have either poofy hair and whoreclown makeup, or girls who you can just tell are fucktards.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/07/2004 10:35 PM EST

The Blair Witch project. Thought I was going to see something really scary. Instead it was 3 incredibly unlikable fools taping themselves in the woods, while they use the f-word approximately 89698722897425305 times. They were stupid too. Who goes in a circle when they're using a map? I was pulling for the witch. The faster they died, the quicker the movie would end.

Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 07/07/2004 10:42 PM EST

Dat map was useless!

Chestnuts roasted by Mike @ 07/07/2004 10:44 PM EST

I'd say 21 Grams. The commercials looked pretty good. I thought I liked the concept, but I turned it off 21 minutes into the flick. I can say that it's probably the first movie I rented and turned off because it was so bad. I even got through Earth Girls are Easy without shutting that mess off.

Chestnuts roasted by Toytoons Brian @ 07/07/2004 10:52 PM EST

I second MiB II.

Yish.

Chestnuts roasted by Brad @ 07/07/2004 11:07 PM EST

The Punisher was kinda dissappointing.

Jeez man, that "Castle Dracula" ride burnt down? When???

Chestnuts roasted by Grimm @ 07/07/2004 11:08 PM EST

Matt why didn't you like American Psycho?

Alien III
Planet of the Apes (remake)
The World is not Enough
The Next Karate Kid ^_^

I'll think of more later.

Chestnuts roasted by Skeletor @ 07/07/2004 11:34 PM EST

I agree with all of the above.

Too add to the list:

That Tom Hanks movie where he plays a theif (recent flick) in disguise as that colnal <--can never spell that word-- Sanders look alike.

Matt, Don't you make a decent enough buck off of this site to not need a job?

Chestnuts roasted by Novaximus @ 07/07/2004 11:38 PM EST

Yeah, MIB 2 was a big letdown for me as well. Mission Impossible 2 was also very underwhelming. I think it was the third or forth 'Surprise! He's wearing a mask!' that really killed it for me.

Chestnuts roasted by 4thDown @ 07/07/2004 11:40 PM EST

which punisher?

Chestnuts roasted by adfafg @ 07/07/2004 11:41 PM EST

Got a few more.

Darkness falls
Once upon a time in mexico
Van helsing

Chestnuts roasted by Skeletor @ 07/07/2004 11:45 PM EST

And Grimm Draculas castle burnt down like 3 years ago, now theer is a water park there.

Got one more movie.

Robocop 3

Chestnuts roasted by Skeletor @ 07/07/2004 11:47 PM EST

Matrix Revolutions and MIB II are givens....
althought I was so dissapointed by Daredevil. My god I couldnt belive the horror.

Chestnuts roasted by ed @ 07/07/2004 11:53 PM EST

ooo another one:
me myself and irene.

I was expecting some sort of a Dumb and Dumber but all I got was suckage

Chestnuts roasted by ed @ 07/07/2004 11:58 PM EST

When I first saw ads for "Bowfinger", I thought it would be hilarious. After all, it stared comic geniuses Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy. Then I saw it, and it was nothing special. One of the biggest letdowns I can remember since I love a good comedy.

Thought I was gonna say "Mac and Me", didn't ya? Hell no, that break dance scene made it all worth it!

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 07/08/2004 12:03 AM EST

Shrek 2.

It didn't live up to the ad blitz

Chestnuts roasted by d @ 07/08/2004 12:07 AM EST

RoboCop 3 was just plain awful. Coming off the first two, I was expecting at least a decent action movie with some interesting social commentary, but I get Lewis's death and damn hacker kid.

A more recent disappointment would be The Day After Tomorrow. It looked like it would an okay popcorn flick, but I the movie put me to sleep about halfway through. NEVER should a popcorn movie move away from the crazy special effects and focus on some boring cast of characters for so long.

Chestnuts roasted by God Animagnus @ 07/08/2004 12:08 AM EST

Van Helsing and Hellboy. Ugh.

Chestnuts roasted by Danny @ 07/08/2004 12:09 AM EST

Pokemon the first movie, But I liked Pokemon #2 and #3 though. And Austin Powers #2.

Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 07/08/2004 12:33 AM EST

Bowling for Columbine. I thought it was going to be a documentary as opposed to a tool to sling his political views around. I did some checking on-line and found out he made up most of it with a little clever editing.

Chestnuts roasted by Former A1C Pete @ 07/08/2004 12:49 AM EST

Dude, the movie that killed me, tore my heart out most, has to be "JASON GOES TO HELL". I mean c'mon, it was the first Jason film under the New Line Cinema banner. I had high hopes, we never even saw Jason in Hell. Not only that, but, the flick ends up being a rip-off of invasion of the body snatchers. Jason Vorhees is only in his own damn movie for like 15 minutes. The worst part is the whole end that got me psyched up for Freddy vs. Jason, which took like only 11 years to come out. Believe you me compared to the playground discussions of Fred and Jason meeting, well.. no movie could live up to my young teen brain's high expectations.
A close runner up had to be "No Holds Barred", I saw it at a kid's birthday party, it was neat. Even then though I knew it was crap. I mean c'mon if Zues trains by punching cinderblocks, why couldn't he just make Hogan's head explode with one hard blow. Oh, you know you're in trouble when the hero's name is "Rip".
Matt bless your soul, whenever you need a sidekick or a guest writer, I will answer the call with great honor...

Chestnuts roasted by Justice @ 07/08/2004 01:20 AM EST

Chestnuts roasted by Justice @ 07/08/2004 01:21 AM EST

Uh, sorry about the post trilogy. I guess I'll just end up being the guy who gets Matt iced tea everyday...

Chestnuts roasted by Justice @ 07/08/2004 01:22 AM EST

That's his (Michael Moore's) forte'! All he does is make documentary-LIKE films which, for all intensive purposes, are nothing more than propaganda for the masses. According to some people who used to work with him at the Flint GM plant (used to be 1/2 hour from my house before they tore it down), he didn't do jack shit. Just bitched. A lot. But I degress. I'd say the most recent movie that didn't live up to my own personal hype would have to be Anchorman. I work at a theater and saw it this past Tuesday. Man does it suck. Save for Steve Carell, the whole thing is just...stupid. Oh well.

Chestnuts roasted by Cid Rain @ 07/08/2004 01:26 AM EST

The Shadow was disappointing. The trailers implied a much darker, sinister, more complex movie--the flick turned out to be pretty much a kiddie movie.
Gladiator was a giant disappointment. Everything that happened after the chariot battle seemed to be completely by-the-numbers and without any sense or originality in the writer's mind.
I also second the Planet of the Apes remake. But then again, you can't blame Burton. He made the movie look really great. It was just a lousy script. Same goes for Mars Attacks. I occassionally watch Mars Attacks thinking I'll enjoy it this time, but it never sets in. Sure, the aliens heads exploding to Indian Love-Call makes me die laughing, but every other scene is sorta painfully embarrassing to watch.
I guess I'll add Armageddon while I'm at it, but it's my own damned fault for beind duped by those trailers.
And it goes without saying that the Star Wars prequels are of high standing.
Matt, I'm reading American Psycho right now. I was let down by the movie as well, but now reading the book--well, it's just amazing stuff. It's odd how although it's well established in the book how often he kills people, as a narrator, he rarely mentions it. His monstrousness lies more in his narcissism than his homicide--but now I sound like some damned literary Nazi, so I'll stop.

Chestnuts roasted by inkmage @ 07/08/2004 01:38 AM EST

Hey Former A1C Pete, you should see the site where he denounces those "made up" claims. He dances around them by saying things like "Every fact in my movie was true." And he also dismisses that when he spliced clips together in it, he doesnt clearly state they are different clips taken from different parts of speeches. Either way he is a douche bag.

To me, the last two Bond movies sucked so hard that Jesus himself is about to run out of air. Also Van Helsing was not a let down to me at all, I NEVER had any expectations for it.

Chestnuts roasted by DrX512 @ 07/08/2004 01:38 AM EST

HULK
Don't get me wrong, I thought the Hulk movie was good in it's own way, but it could have been soooooooo much better. It was just so different than what I expected. Like not having Hulk in it for the first hour. And having jellyfish floating around. And Nano-meds, and absorbing dad, and hulk poodles, stuff that had nothing to do with the comic, 70s TV show or 80s cartoon.

Chestnuts roasted by TheFuzzyHulk @ 07/08/2004 01:42 AM EST

Lost In Translation did not live up to it's hype at all for me. Expected SO much more.

Chestnuts roasted by mindsuckr @ 07/08/2004 01:42 AM EST

The Phantom Menace
MIB II
Pok�mon: The First Movie
A Bug's Life
Treasure Planet

Chestnuts roasted by Behonkiss @ 07/08/2004 02:30 AM EST

American Movie - after Seanbaby called it the funniest movie ever, I waited forever for it to come out on video up here. When it finally did, I ended up turning it off after a half an hour, the first and last time I've ever failed to finish a movie. Such a let down.

Chestnuts roasted by Simon @ 07/08/2004 02:44 AM EST

Also, Michael Moore may be a bit of a douche, but that lame "Bowling for Truth" site has more lies on it than any of his documentaries. Yes, the guy has an agenda and uses misleading editing to make his point, but most of the cases against him on the web are made up of complete crap.

Chestnuts roasted by Simon @ 07/08/2004 02:45 AM EST

I'm gonna go with Crossroads..somehow Britney Spears all alone on a road trip with 2 other girls seemed a lot more...erotic in my head...weird.

Chestnuts roasted by Whirred @ 07/08/2004 02:49 AM EST

I thought AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER was an absolute mess. Loved the first movie, thought the second one was pretty darn funny as well, but then this third one comes out, and it just...wasn't...funny. I can recall laughing only at the beginning and at a few intermittent jokes here and there. And some portions of it (the whole father/son dynamic) were downright cringe-inducing.

Chestnuts roasted by Timmy B @ 07/08/2004 03:11 AM EST

To answer Grimm's question up there, Castle Dracula burned down a little over two years ago by two little fuckers who broke in during the winter with makeshift TORCHES so they could see in the dark.

I went down to Wildwood a couple weeks ago for the first time since that happened, & the pier "skyline" just isn't the same.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike Fireball @ 07/08/2004 03:23 AM EST

Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace - There can hardly be a bigger, more universal disappointment than this movie. I knew that there was no way that it could possibly live up to the original trilogy's reputation, but it was still a surprisingly subpar effort.

The Matrix Reloaded - This and Revolutions showed that the Wachowskis really didn't have enough material to fill out an entire saga.

End of Days - Billed as Schwarzenegger's big comeback, this movie showed me that Arnold should've stayed away. The 6th Day and Collateral Damage only furthered that point.

Russian Ark - A critics' darling, I found this film to be an absolute bore. The quasi-surrealism simply didn't work for me.

Die Another Day - OK, so by now I kind of expect Bond films to be schlock. But the franchise really hit an all-time low here...

The Cider House Rules - Another supposedly great dramatic film that just didn't connect with me in any way. Seems like quite a few Miramax films leave me empty that way.

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within - It was a Final Fantasy movie that somehow had absolutely nothing to do with the game! (And I'll sucker-punch the first person who argues, "But it had Cid in it!" wink

8 1/2 - I know I might catch hell for this, but I've watched the film, read analyses on it, and I just can't find it in me to like or even appreciate it. I'm at a loss for words on this one. I just don't like it, sorry.

Planet of the Apes [2001] - Having Tim Burton direct a remake of this classic sci-fi movie seemed like a match made in heaven to me. What the hell happened?

Chestnuts roasted by rapsodist @ 07/08/2004 03:38 AM EST

Oh yeah. Movie. Hudson Hawk, dude.

Chestnuts roasted by Fireball again. @ 07/08/2004 03:43 AM EST

THE JEWS ARE COMING!

Chestnuts roasted by whooo @ 07/08/2004 03:48 AM EST

A few more to add to my previous list:

Versus - All I kept hearing was that this movie would position Ryuhei Kitamura as a sure-shot up-and-coming action director. Yeah, right. Plus, he way overdid the cutscenes in the Gamecube remake of Metal Gear Solid.

A Mighty Wind - Sure, it had its moments, but to me it just wasn't anywhere near as good as Best in Show. I won't even bother comparing it to This Is Spinal Tap.

A.I.: Artificial Intelligence - I thought this was actually a pretty good movie, until the last act came in and ruined everything.

Bean: The Movie - The Mr. Bean TV series ranks among the funniest comedy I have ever seen. This movie was a poor, pale imitation.

Chestnuts roasted by rapsodist @ 07/08/2004 03:48 AM EST

yeah goldmember was horrible... i'm so tired of mike myers doing the exact same thing in every movie. also, darkness falls was the stupidesst horror movie to ever disgrace a theater screen. to think i paid $8.75 for that shit. not on topic, but does anyone know the name of that pirate guy from mcdonald's? was mentioned in the new 80s ads but i swear nobody knows his name... i asked a woman who told me she had worked at mcd's for 25 years, but i find "captain crook" hard to believe. and if that is the dude's name, i'm disappointed

Chestnuts roasted by poofyllama @ 07/08/2004 03:51 AM EST

poofyllama, Captain Crook is his name: www.macstoys.nl/history%20characters.html
You might be interested in this: Was McDonaldland plagiarized from the old "H. R. Pufnstuf" kids' TV show? www.straightdope.com/classics/a990827.html

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 07/08/2004 04:40 AM EST

American Psycho woulda been up there for me had I read the book first, which I didn't.

American Psycho 2, however... Yeesh.

Chestnuts roasted by Evin @ 07/08/2004 04:51 AM EST

Most movies you can tell going in are going to be awful - Jurassic Park 3, Super Mario Bros., etc. - but it's the ones that you can't tell that make me cry.

But to be a disappointing movie, you have to have faith, before going into the theatre, that the movie might be good.

The most disappointing movie, for me, of all time?

1998's Godzilla.

Even Jean Reno couldn't save it.

Chestnuts roasted by Evil Snowman @ 07/08/2004 05:52 AM EST

You guys know that one movie that came out last year? The one where these people would get attacked by things that came out of the shadows? God, that movie blew. I somehow got tricked into going and seing it, thinking, ok, it can't be that bad. But wow, it was horrible.

Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 07/08/2004 06:01 AM EST

Me, Myself, and Irene was the movie that made me stop liking the farrely brothers, cause they made me want to squirm more than laugh at that point. If I want to see a guy get his thumb blown off, I'll see an action movie, thank you very much.

Hulk was also a big letdown. I understand what they were trying to do, but you cannot do a movie where you don't see the title character for an hour. Plus they should have used a villain from the comics, instead of using his dad as his enemy. Lame, lame, lame.

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was also a big disappointment. It was a cool concept, that had been done in a much more interesting graphic novel, where the female hero, Mina Harker, is the one who assembles the other characters, and keeps them together. But of course, once Sean Connery got on board for the movie, they had to change the entire story to make it all revolve around him, and ended up making a big mess of things.

Chestnuts roasted by Number5 @ 07/08/2004 06:32 AM EST

Matrix Revolutions, almost made me not want to go to a theater ever again to spare the disappointment. Teen Wolf Too was one of the most horrid things I've ever seen, but without MJF, I knew it was doomed, so I guess that doesn't really count. Also, in defense of No Holds Barred, it is, legit, one of my favorite films, but I'm a life long Hulkamaniac, so I'm biased.

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 07/08/2004 07:26 AM EST

Van Helsing sucked. Ugh, the CGI was intollerable. The crappy comedy fillers. Eck.

In The Bedroom (I think I've mentioned before) was horrible. SO boring. Blah blah she's-too-old-for-you/psycho-exhusband-boringcakes, BANG! shot in the eyeball, sad-parents-get-revenge-SLOWLY... What, was I sleeping? Oops.

I knoew the Hulk would be bad when I got the double DVD for free online.

I red Amercian Psycho before I saw the movie, so I already had the deeper, background stuff going in my head to watch the flick. The movie was more like gravy for the book. A picture to put to some of the images I had from reading. I can't say if the movie was bad w/o the book (and the info that the book gives).

Mina Harker - isn't that the name of the heroine in Bram Stoker's Dracula?

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 07/08/2004 08:41 AM EST

Hmm...I don't usually get amped up for any movies, so I don't usually care too much when they suck...

But, I remember thinking that 'Unbreakable' was gonna be awesome! A guy! Who doesn't die!
But then it turns out to be some comic book shit.

'The Core' also looked promising, but was L.A.M.E.

Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 07/08/2004 08:43 AM EST

Shrek - Just not funny
Matrix Reloaded - Fell asleep

Chestnuts roasted by Joe in OH @ 07/08/2004 09:00 AM EST

Jeepers Creepers...I remember reading all these fanboy reviews about how great it was and blah blah blah...and then I went to see it. I can't imagine anyone liking it...horrible.

The Hulk...I was pretty damn excited for this one and it was a huge letdown..

Congo...After Jurassic Park, I was way pumped for this one. It's funny, because now Congo is such a joke, but when it first came out, there was some serious marketing hype behind it and I went to see it opening night...Tickle Amy...

There are tons more I'm sure...Phantom Menace goes without saying. American Pie 2 sucked total ass...That Psycho remake with Vince Vaughn...I could go on and on.

Chestnuts roasted by Goody @ 07/08/2004 09:05 AM EST

Matrix Revolutions: I grin and bared it through Reloaded because I figured it was just setting up questions for the third one to knock down. Then along comes the third one and it's a three hour long action sequence, and since it happens outside of the Matrix, it's not even a good action scene. I was waiting though, I figured if I just got to see all of the machines keel over and die and the humans take to the surface, I'd be happy. But no... they apologized and left. I just can't help but think that twenty minutes later they came back and killed every last mother fucking human.

Chestnuts roasted by Tenchichan @ 07/08/2004 09:31 AM EST

Mars Attacks, absolutely. I've never seen such an unforgivable waste of a good plot. We were amazed at the set-ups for really funny jokes that never happened. I've never done so much yelling at a screen.

Wyatt Earp - that'll teach me to watch a Kevin Costner movie. For that matter, any Costner movie: Waterworld, The Postman, etc. The premises were great (both being post-apocalyptic movies, which are cool), but wasted with bad writing and bad acting.

Yes, Planet of the Apes, the remake. I just couldn't get into it, I felt I was betraying the original movies I have seen about a million times. Forgive me, Cornelius.

Star Wars I - The Boredom Menace and Star Wars II - Attack of the Yawns. If Hayden Christiansen got anymore wooden he'd be sprouting roots. And the plots... Commercial embargo??? They're fighting over a friggin commercial embargo??? Sigh.

American Beauty. Not a bad movie, it just didn't live up to all the hype I had read.

I'll probably think of more.

And could we please hold off on the Michael Moore bashing/defending? I'm having F911 sensory overload.

Chestnuts roasted by Yzziefrog @ 07/08/2004 09:55 AM EST

Gotta disagree with those who mentioned the Shrek movies. I thought both of them were pretty clever.

Now Street Fighter:The Movie, on the other hand- ugh. The commercials made it out to be halfway decent, but it's easily one of the worst movies ever. Perhaps we could see a review of it on XE sometime soon???

Chestnuts roasted by 4thDown @ 07/08/2004 10:00 AM EST

Titan AE: I thought this movie was going to be cool, mabye even revolutionize American animation as we know it. Unfortunately, it turned out to be really shallow and just lacked that UMPH the film needed to make it more interesting. Now Disney has claimed that they're leaving 2D animated films for what may be for good. For once I'd like the majority of good animated stuf these days to be American made, but somehow the Japanese have learned to do it better...

Chestnuts roasted by Teirusu @ 07/08/2004 10:18 AM EST

Also, Kale is a cool name.

Chestnuts roasted by Teirusu @ 07/08/2004 10:19 AM EST

My problem is that I get way too hyped up to begin with-usually this happens around April or May just before the biggun's come out. I start eating the cereal, wallpaper goes up on the Desktop, I make a stupid countdown clock, etc. Not really the movie's fault that I have this chemical imbalance.

The original Spiderman probably would be my choice. Luckily the recent one has totally made up for it.

Chestnuts roasted by Kidd Video @ 07/08/2004 10:21 AM EST

Probably one of the biggest let-downs for me was 'Envy'. I thought it would be great beacause 1) the trailers made it look kind of funny and 2) Jack Black was in it. But it sucked.

Also 'Daredevil'. I loved to read the comics, and I was ecstatic when I learned that they were making a movie. But when I saw the movie, it turned out to be one of the worst movies ever made.

Chestnuts roasted by Meat P�psicle @ 07/08/2004 10:38 AM EST

Finding Nemo- Prefer the Shrek films

Van Helsing

Last 2 Star Wars movies

Scarey Movie

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Gangs of New York

Daredevil

Matrix Reloaded

Scorpion King

Final Fantasy

Tomb Raider

Bad Santa

Punch Drunk Love

Anger Management

Kill Bill, Vol. 2

Terminator 3

Now, I'm gonna put down some films that seem to be labeled "Classic" but I think are overrated.

Citizen Kane
Godfather 1 and 2
The Birds
Hills Have Eyes
Pulp Fiction
Fantasia

Once again, that "Source Filter" message came up when I tried to watch the Nestea commercial. Flavored teas are everywhere. Snapple seems to be doing well with them.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/08/2004 10:38 AM EST

That was weird. For some reason I got a "I'm banned from this site" by the grey matter team. I switched to other Internet on my computer and I'm ok. Any reason for this banning?

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/08/2004 10:41 AM EST

Hands down has to be Jeepers Creepers. I wasn't even expecting much, but it didn't live up to low expectations. Yet another sad victim of the hype machine. Cabin Fever was so bad that it doesn't even register on the crap-o-meter. Gosh, Chainsaw Massacre too. I guess horror movies in general are the worst for disappointing.

Chestnuts roasted by Blah...blah @ 07/08/2004 10:47 AM EST

I'm just going to predict the most disappointing movie for me will be the next Star Wars. Just a gut feeling. If I'm wrong, I'll admit it.

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 07/08/2004 11:17 AM EST

That was the worst for me. No payoff. Cool character with cool super powers that he never actually uses. That whole movie should have been the first 30 min of a real movie.

I really like the way he discovered his powers. He seemed to react the way I think I would have reacted, except he just kind of zoned off as soon as he was getting warmed up.

That movie left me feeling cheated.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 07/08/2004 11:49 AM EST

What the hell happened to the title of the movie up there??

It was UNBREAKABLE.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 07/08/2004 11:50 AM EST

While I wait in anticipation to see if WETA can pull off EVA units, I will take the Deep Thought position on disappointing films. It will always be the one that comes after. But, Pearl Harbor is high on my list. There was a lotta hype around here about how they would show the sinking of the Oklahoma, in the meantime, I was thinking 'you could show the movie on that one girl's forehead.' Add plodding romance to that, and I was hoping for the Blair Witch to show up. (again, like stated a couple months ago, I think the kids deserved what they got.)

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/08/2004 12:04 PM EST

Jurassic park 3

Chestnuts roasted by Egghead @ 07/08/2004 12:14 PM EST

Ace Ventura 2 - all it was to me was more gags and less plot. And I agree with Bean, that seems to happen when British comedy is "Americanized". Take the show "Coupling", for example - the original is a hit here, but the NBC version (which used the same exact scripts as the original) tanked right from the beginning.

Chestnuts roasted by Sara @ 07/08/2004 12:15 PM EST

Brain Candy.

Chestnuts roasted by Slacker @ 07/08/2004 12:27 PM EST

Hands down, Godzilla was a total f*cking disappointment.

Chestnuts roasted by Pedro @ 07/08/2004 12:31 PM EST

Most recently, "Secret Window" Total crap!

But my all time greatest was definitely "Godzilla". Also the only movie I've ever demanded my money back for after watching. Didn't get it though. =)

Chestnuts roasted by BaronVonHotPants @ 07/08/2004 12:55 PM EST

tombraider. gosh that movie was so bad and it looked good in the trailer.

matt... best of luck with this job... sounds so awesome for ya.

if u work on the same block as dracula...isn't that the same block as the toys r us? and virgils? u have to try virgil's one day for lunch if u haven't yet. we order from there all the time... such yummy bbq!

ohh and i drove by the mini golf course u spoke about in one of u'r earlier articles and pointed it out to a friend of mind who lives 5 minutes from there. i forwarded her u'r article on it. smile

love love love this site!

Chestnuts roasted by jessica_76 @ 07/08/2004 01:26 PM EST

Batman Forever

This movie was immensely hyped at the time. It had an All-Star cast, cool villians, the debut of Robin...plus that kick-ass U2 video from the soundtrack. But the movie was campy crap.

I was mucho disappointed.

Chestnuts roasted by Sancho @ 07/08/2004 01:31 PM EST

Cruel Intentions...

okay, I lie... I knew it was going to suck... I was forced to see it tho. At least, having seen it I can say it sucked instead of people who say something sucks but don't see something.

I can't believe they made a sequel to that stolen-story full of non-actors.

Chestnuts roasted by AlphaCentaurian @ 07/08/2004 01:34 PM EST

I agree with both "Envy" and "Van Helsing".

With Envy I thought it would be a laugh-a-minute rollercoaster of comedy, but I found it a bit flat. I guess because Jack Black was in it there was this automatic supposition, but I don't think the movie was meant to be "fall on the floor laughing" type of funny.

Van Helsing. Now what can I do but lower my head in defeat? I almost walked out of it, and probably would have if not for Hugh Jackman and David Wenham. I guess I went into it thinking it was a serious type of horror movie but it just wasn't.
I heard it was supposed to be satirical. Who even knows.

Chestnuts roasted by Megan @ 07/08/2004 01:41 PM EST

I have to agree with The Blair Witch Project (except the end, I really did enjoy that... but it wasn't quite worth the rest of the movie) and Men in Black II. Cool effects actually do not make a movie good. Pay attention, Hollywood--you suck greatly in the grand scheme of things.

I have to say, though, if you didn't like Jeepers Creepers (and I didn't... at first it was great but then it took a complete dive), still check out the second one. It was much "better". But then, I am a B horror fan.

Chestnuts roasted by Orin @ 07/08/2004 01:45 PM EST

Gigli.

I think we're all in agreement here.

Chestnuts roasted by Dumass @ 07/08/2004 01:51 PM EST

I was greatly disappointed by the Planet of the Apes remake. I think the ending makes it disappointing,plus that scene where that chimp comes out of nowhere in a spaceship.

I wasn't disappointed in the SW prequels. They weren't what I expected them to be,but that's okay. I also knew what the films would be like going in,from reading spoilers on the net and such.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 07/08/2004 02:03 PM EST

Was HIGHLY disappointed with Shrek 2 this year...the first half was flatter than ten-year-old Crystal Pepsi, picked up when Puss in Boots got on-screen, then it went flat again, then it picked up again. Maybe the first movie was just too good...

The Hulk was also a definite disappointment. It was snail-paced, waaaaaay too long, and it had a freakish mutant poodle. Eeeeek!

Also found Trainspotting and Videodrome very disappointing when I saw them after hearing lots of positivity, especially since I admire drug movies and David Cronenberg, respectively speaking.

Chestnuts roasted by Michael Flynn @ 07/08/2004 02:10 PM EST

Little Brother was a bit discouraged by Hulk. But with a sequel rumored, he's hopin' for something a little more "Hulk Smash!" this time around. I can't view the tea commercial. I surf from a second-hand iMac with OS 9.x, is that a factor? I get a screen full of gibberish for all of Matt's videos. Ah, well. Matt + coffee + Nick = Salute Your Shorts cast reunion/mini-golf championship!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/08/2004 02:47 PM EST

i don't see how anybody could put citizen kane on this list. that movie is a triumph of film and the vision of one man, not a studio trying to jam one more plotless action/scifi/horror/disaster movie down your throat. the visual and storyline elements of citizen kane are phenomenal, and i have never seen a movie with better atmosphere or camerawork. the techniques used in it were revolutionary for the time, and still beat the "let's shake the camera and cut to a different view every .7 seconds" methods i see today, which only make it hard to see what's going on. to each his own, i guess. jeepers creepers sucks, and i'd like to point out that director victor salva (who also did Powder) is a convicted child molester and nobody should see his movies based on that alone. plus he sucks! and a muppet grinning is not an ending.

Chestnuts roasted by poofyllama @ 07/08/2004 03:00 PM EST

MXP - It just didn't live up to the same standards set forth by MVP. The monkey was still had heart, but not enough to save that stinker.

Chestnuts roasted by J Grimes @ 07/08/2004 03:02 PM EST

To bring this survey around full circle, I say Punisher...and not the new one, the old one with DL. To add, I saw it "preview" at a comic book convention (I was 11). To say the least, I was pretty darn hyped the 10 minutes before the movie started. Also to say the least, I was sorely disappointed.

Chestnuts roasted by LDO @ 07/08/2004 03:33 PM EST

Chestnuts roasted by LDO @ 07/08/2004 03:34 PM EST

Chestnuts roasted by LDO @ 07/08/2004 03:36 PM EST

Chestnuts roasted by LDO @ 07/08/2004 03:39 PM EST

Some titles that immediately spring to mind are:

Attack of the Clones--I so wanted to believe this movie would be good. Phantom Menace had been a letdown, but there were parts that were enjoyable enough. Attack of the Clones actively and violently sucked, and I came out of the theater feeling dirty.

Die Another Day--This was the only Bond movie I actually wholly disliked, which shook my very foundations; when you can't depend on Bond, on whom can you depend?

Kill Bill--I wasn't actually very interested in this movie, but what I saw was ever worse than anything I'd imagined. I expected it to be Tarantino's usual weird for the sake of weird, look how hard I'm trying to be arty type of nonsense, but what I got was that to the tenth power, plus a story with no sense of fun, plus a thoroughly unlikable heroine, plus a whole lot of subtitle reading. If I want to read, I'll go to school not the movies.

Chestnuts roasted by Eric @ 07/08/2004 03:44 PM EST

'George of the Jungle 2' was pretty underwhelming. Lyle Van de Groot lost his glossy floppy hair and his uppercrust New England accent! *Thomas Haden Church is still cute and funny though*

I agree that Goldmember was the weakest of the Austin Powers movies. I have it on DVD, but eh...

As for MIIB, I intentionally missed that film. Anything that *alien chick* touches turns to crap.

Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 07/08/2004 03:48 PM EST

Oh, I should also inform that I found Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Carrebean underwhelming. Sorry, but I just didn't see what was so great. LOTR... I need Cliff's Notes to read alongside the novels, maybe I'll understand better.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was an arthouse movie, for God's sake. I'm finishing the book and the book is MUCH BETTER!

Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 07/08/2004 04:04 PM EST

"I love pudding! And Ghost Dad is the best movie since Leonard part II(?)"

Chestnuts roasted by Cid Rain @ 07/08/2004 04:16 PM EST

Somebody bring this full circle!

heh

Godzilla was just sad. How dare they make a kaiju movie with no kaiju in it! Planet of the Apes didn't hurt as much, but hurt nonetheless. at least Time of the Apes (Japan's cheap ripoff of the original movie) had a ape in a Colonel Sanders' outfit. Guns don't kill people, Damn Dirty Apes do! Van helsing was ok, but I'd rather watch Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust, which I have on DVD.

Curse me all to heck/ I vant to bite your neck/ Take avay that stake/ I'm a vampire on the make! -Dracula the Musical?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/08/2004 04:26 PM EST

I saw Episode I the first night it was in the theaters and enjoyed it, but only because I didn't expect anymore than a huge special effects extravaganza. That and the audience was so into it they were chearing at the "Inspector Gadget" preview. Episode II was just painful to watch, so much so I may never bother to watch III. Could the pairing of Anakin and the princess be more awkward and grating?
I've only watched "Batman Forever" for a few minutes, and I can't understand how such good actors can be some wooden. Even Schwartzeneger seems overly-wooden as Mr. Freeze. How the hell do you manage that?
"Ghost World" was a disappointment in that with such a close collaboration between the writer and director I expected it to be exactly like the book. Now that I've read more of Clowes' comics and written a paper on the conversion of book to movie, I have a new appreciation for it.

Oh, and "Fritz the Cat" was horrible. I can understand why R. Crumb really hated society after his work was converted in such a piece of crap.

Chestnuts roasted by King Edwin @ 07/08/2004 04:28 PM EST

Just chiming in with agreements for the Phantom Menace and HULK. I am surprised no one has mentioned HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN. Terrible movie? No, but why the changes in geography that were set up in the first two? And don't give me that "new director wanted artstic freedom" crap. You can mix things up without going overboard.
Also, I am not playing up the "it wasn't as good as the book" angle; nothing ever is. They just left too much unexplained. The stag at the end??? You gotta tell the people what you are doing.

Chestnuts roasted by manimal789 @ 07/08/2004 04:48 PM EST

I must agree with Unbreakable... God did that ever suck! Especially coming after The Sixth Sense, I was expecting something much better. And I hated Samuel L. Jackson in it, I just wanted to get a baseball bat to his face so he'd shut up.

And a never-mentioned one...

Bi-Centennial Man. Yes, it is possible to mess up a movie with Robin Wiliams as a robot. Who would have thunk?

I disagree about putting Gigli in this list. This is about movies that fell short of our expectations, right? Did anyone have any illusion that this turkey would not be one of the worst movies of all time???

Chestnuts roasted by Yzziefrog @ 07/08/2004 05:06 PM EST

The worst film that I seen is Batman & Robin. It had Arnold singing in it.

Matt, you should do a review of it for X-E.

Chestnuts roasted by Patrick @ 07/08/2004 06:22 PM EST

HPATPOA like maninal said. It just irked me tht the new guy felt he had to change locatios of places, continuity anyone? And don't get me started on the fact that John Cleese was not in it during the headhunter's ball!

Chestnuts roasted by Brite @ 07/08/2004 06:41 PM EST

I was really disappointed by 28 Days Later...there was like 5 minutes of cool zombie scenes and the rest was totally boring. And don't even get me started on how stupid the ending is. Yeah right, like he could have survived without surgery or anything.

Chestnuts roasted by lain @ 07/08/2004 06:58 PM EST

I guess I could think of more if I sat here and thought about it, but the one movie that really disappointed me was Pocahontas. Looking back, I guess it wasn't really that bad, but my expectations were WAY too high. Since then I've tried to avoid the pre-movie hype.

Chestnuts roasted by Rainbowfeet @ 07/08/2004 07:01 PM EST

-Troy
-Van Helsing
-Bad Santa
-Episodes I & II
-Punisher
-Any hollywood comic book film that has a sub par character as the star: Elektra (I can already smell the poo) Catwoman, Fantastic 4 (Which already had a bomb back in 1996-98???)... The list never ends.

Chestnuts roasted by Wills @ 07/08/2004 07:12 PM EST

kingklash click and hold down on the link then select 'Save Link Target As...' to save the movie to your hard drive. I have the exact same outdated iMac/OS 9 setup.

Chestnuts roasted by ACH @ 07/08/2004 07:38 PM EST

I agree with a lot of the list...

Kill Bill
Star Wars 1/2
Brain Candy
Spider Man(of course by the time I saw it it had made like 400 mil.)
Collateral Damage

By the way, I hope you guys are wrong about Bad Santa, just picked it up haven't watched it yet...

I'm also going to comment on something I thought someone would mention by now, Ken on Jeopardy is a beast! He's at like 27 days in a row....sure he's a little smug, but damn to win close to a million on Jeopardy. Any thoughts anyone, or am I the only one who watches Jeopardy?

Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98/competent soldier @ 07/08/2004 08:25 PM EST

I have to add Texas Chainsaw Massacre to my original picks, the original one too. I've always been a huge horror fan, but I just found TCM boring. I thought the remake was better, but still not so great. House of 1,000 Corpses also pained me greatly when I saw that, I was counting on Rob Zombie to do some wicked cool stuff. One more thing, it seems everyone hates the Planet of the Apes remake. Am I the only one who liked it? I actually hope Tim Burton continues to remake the whole series, but I've never been too familiar w/ the original POTAs films, so I guess I came into it "clean".

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 07/08/2004 08:28 PM EST

For the same reasons mentioned above (well, Jack Black), I thought High Fidelity would have been better. Not b/c I was expecting some wild comedy, but b/c I thought he could have at least livened it up a bit. John Cusack used to be a reason to watch a film. Now he's a reason to watch Carlton Sheets infomercials rather than tune in to his Harlequin Romance bullcrap.

On the other end of the spectrum, a movie that I didn't really expect much out of (I'm not really into Vietnam/war movies) but enjoyed immensely was The Deer Hunter. Wow, that was awesome. I'll never look at Christopher Walken the same way again.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 07/08/2004 09:24 PM EST

I went into the theaters thinking "The Mummy" (Brendan Fraiser version) was going to be this wonderful, old-fashioned, Indiana Jones-type thing. It was, at least to my mind, more horror than action, and some of the effects were (I hope) unintentionally cheesy. It's actually not a bad film, just not as wonderful as I'd hoped...or what I'd hoped it would be.

I'm also siding with many of you on "The Matrix" series - none of the films impressed me. The first one was confusing and special-effects-overloaded enough. Frankly, the films didn't cry out for sequals in the first place.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 07/08/2004 09:35 PM EST

And a couple of additional comments - Matt, I totally envy you. I love Broadway musicals and Frank Wildhorn (I have his "Scarlet Pimpernel" musical), but with the money I have, I'd have to hitchhike to New York and bribe my way into the theater.

I was at the Cape May County Library branch in Cape May Courthouse the afternoon Castle Dracula burnt down. I knew something was up, because I could hear sirens going off at the fire house down the street and the librarians mentioned something big was being toasted in Wildwood....and said firemen had only just returned from another major fire in Middle Township. I'm still pissed off about what happened to Castle Dracula. My sister and a lot of her friends were devestated - she practically lived there for several summers. Apparently, a couple of kids were out for kicks on a dull January...and, according to some of the high schoolers I worked with, had no remorse for destroying the oldest and one of the most popular single rides on the Wildwood Boardwalk. They never even adequately replaced it - some trampoline thing was in the spot the last time I checked.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 07/08/2004 09:40 PM EST

of course the Star Wars prequels. Reloaded wasnt great but it wasnt bad, but Revolutions just...ugh. um...hellboy, van helsing, MIB 2, Super Mario Brothers!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by XeroTheory @ 07/08/2004 09:47 PM EST

I suddenly feel inspired to do two things this weekend: 1)Go to Blockbuster and rent myself some B-movies 2)Go to Chuck E. Cheese's. Today at work, we were talking about places like CEC and Showtime, and it really made me miss them. Another cool thing is that the very article that Robert Berry wrote on CEC is on the very location of my local CEC (the one across the street from the Arden Fair Mall here in Sacramento).

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/08/2004 10:25 PM EST

I thought every movie was great until Ninja Turtles III. I'm not sure why it was at III that the Turtles started losing their allure, and could no longer overcome my hatred of time-travel crap. It's not like I discovered boys or anything.

(By the way, Matt, I think you should watch the Wrinkle in Time movie and tell us about it. Just occurred to me.)

Chestnuts roasted by Goz @ 07/08/2004 10:38 PM EST

...yes. I concur with Rob. I was so excited to see TCM for the first time...but when I did, it dissapointed me SO much! I didn't find it scary, suspenseful...nothing.

Reign of Fire REALLY dissapoointed me. I was so excited about a GOOD movie about dragons.

When they're really fire breathing wyverns with impossible mating habits.

Pssh. The Star Wars reference didn't even help...

Chestnuts roasted by The REAL Mother of Kane's baby! @ 07/08/2004 10:40 PM EST

My friend draged me to see Van Helsing. It started to go down hill after Dr. Frankenstin died. Then it hit rock bottom when Dracula's kids first came to life.

Chestnuts roasted by FK27 @ 07/08/2004 11:05 PM EST

I also liked the Planet of the Apes remake. More of a guilty pleasure.

Same goes for the American Godzilla movie.

I was disappointed in the Hulk at first. But then I watched it a second time and found it to be pretty good for what it was.

Underworld bored me.
Unbreakable and Signs were predictable.
MIB 2 was watchable, but not as good as the first one.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/08/2004 11:11 PM EST

holy crap.. I wanna see Dracula the Musical

P.S. The Time Machine was crap

Chestnuts roasted by Toxicity- @ 07/08/2004 11:25 PM EST

Finding Nemo. Every single person I know would incessantly quote that damn movie every single day.. so I finally watched it.. and laughed possibly twice. Maybe once, I can't remember. But it just wasn't that great.

Matrix: Revolutions is a given.. The ENTIRE part about Neo being in the train station had absolutely nothing to do with the plot. Did it advance it at all? No. It just got him OUT of the trainstation. Ugh. Oh, and we met Sati. Yay.

Attack of the Clones: I thought -maybe- George Lucas would redeem himself with the second movie.. but he just made it worse. I've still got my hopes up for the third one, however.. Just watch, I'll be disappointed again. Bah!

Now as for Matrix: Reloaded.. I liked it better than the first one. Yeah, it wasn't as revolutionary, blah blah blah, but there's something about that whole car chase that I like. Or maybe it's just the Twins. I love the Twins. Anyone with white dreads is cool.

Chestnuts roasted by Starreh @ 07/08/2004 11:34 PM EST

A few that come to mind: All M. Night Shamalamadingdong movies, he sucks. I got my hopes up for each of his films after hearing great reviews and was disappointed each time. Sixth Sense was predictable and overrated. Haley Joel Osment was good but the film itself was boring and I saw the ending coming from a mile away. Signs was just terrible, sooo boring.

The Others was terrible, at least the Sixth Sense was original, I knew the ending of the film after watching the trailer. I thought it would be mildly entertaining but it was almost as bad as Signs.

Freddy vs. Jason: not the film itself but the ending.

Chestnuts roasted by Aero @ 07/09/2004 12:17 AM EST

When Justin Met Kelly was a total letdown for me. No, seriously - never saw or care to see that flick, but a big movie letdown for me has to be: Dream a Little Dream 2 with Corey Haim! Corey, if you're reading - WHY?!

~There's things about me you don't know, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.

Chestnuts roasted by Mugzy. . . @ 07/09/2004 12:48 AM EST

That's what I wanna do for my website. I shall name it www.coreyhaim.com (or does that already exist?)

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/09/2004 01:01 AM EST

Man-alive, I must be the only person in the world who feels Unbreakable is very possibly Sham-a-lama-ding-dong's best movie. And don't get me wrong, I love Sixth Sense and Signs. I just feel Unbreakable has this amazing pacing and great use of silence. Plus, the superheroes in the real world premise just makes me giddy. Of course that ending, though shocking and freaky, mostly depresses the crap out of me. But it's all because of the Elijah character. Oy. Nevermind.
Hey, I live in Colorado, and speaking of that Mr. Six guy. He's on commercials dancing before they advertise the Six Flags Elitchs (terrible, terrible place) has this new rollercoaster--dummest looking thing. It's a great big skateboard with these twirling seats that just goes back and forth on a giant tuning fork "half-pipe" thing. Man-alive, am I the only one who thinks that things idiotic?

Chestnuts roasted by inkmage @ 07/09/2004 01:01 AM EST

Nope. It doesn't.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/09/2004 01:02 AM EST

"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon."

For years I let my parents pick what videos they rented, because if I chose a movie and everyone hated it, it would be my fault and they'd hold it against me for months. Well, I really wanted to see this movie, so I took a chance and asked for it.

I spent the next 90 minutes bored out of my mind, and sure enough, my parents held it against me for months. My stepdad would say, "Looks like there's a new ninja movie," and my mom would say, "I'll bet *HE'LL* want to see it" with a groan. I just about died.

Thanks a lot, Mr. Lee!

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 07/09/2004 02:30 AM EST

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Requiem For a Dream
Blade Runner
Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere miniseries
Osamu Tezuka's Metropolis
Dark Crystal... i couldn't even watch the whole thing, and EVERYONE loves this movie...
Blood: The Last Vampire
Kiki's Delivery Service
The Haunting remake

i'd cast my votes for Men In Black II (man did i cringe when i received the DVD as a gift), The Phantom Menace, Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, 1998's Godzilla, Titan AE, Citizen Kane

Chestnuts roasted by sobriquette @ 07/09/2004 05:59 AM EST

I loved Requiem for a Dream. I thought it was great that even the mom wasn't immune to chemical dependancy.

Nate, try this: http://go.to/corey for pics for your website. This all reminds me when Corey sold his rotten tooth on Ebay. Eck.

Vanilla Sky sucked. I figured it out about 1/3 of the way in, so it was basically just waiting for it to finish to see if I was right. Tom Cruise hasn't done anything decent in years. Well, Risky Business was good. The Firm, maybe? Rain Man? I don't know, he just sucks.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 07/09/2004 06:40 AM EST

Big Top Pee Wee. It was so bad I walked out and and played pinball until my captors came out of the theater, and acknowledged my sensibilty for walking out.

As for Bad Santa; I nearly peed myself when Willy (BBT) punched Marcus in the beanbags. The look on his face and the way he topples like a Weeble or something! AAAAAHAHAHAHA! The movie was ridiculously base, and yet... so awfully funny.

Chestnuts roasted by Gretchen @ 07/09/2004 08:35 AM EST

Van Helsing was so bad. After seeing Shrek 2, my faith in Summer movies was restored. All hail the green guy.

Chestnuts roasted by Hope @ 07/09/2004 08:37 AM EST

I'll just have to rent Bad Santa now. I think there is something slightly subversive about watching Christmas movies in the sweltering heat of July.

I'll add the movie with Eddie Murphy where he plays a guru that starts selling all sorts of stuff. Can't remember the title.

Reminds me of a book called Happiness (TM) (The novel formerly known as Generica). The main idea was, what if someone wrote a self-help book that actually worked? I was waiting for a biting satire of the whole self-help movement, but it fell flat. Too many important plot points went unexplained. You can suspend disbelief only so much IMHO.

Please someone find me the title for that Eddie Murphy movie, otherwise it'll bother me all day... since I'm too lazy to look it up on IMDB.

Chestnuts roasted by Yzziefrog @ 07/09/2004 09:24 AM EST

Holy Man 1998
Ricky Hayman, right hand of Good Buy Shopping Network's owner John McBainbridge, is responsible for over two years of very bad sales numbers. He gets a last chance. Accidentally, he and Kate Newell nearly run over G with his car and decide to take him with them. What they never could guess was that G really is the one good man around. Being on the search for enlightenment, G offers his help generously to save Ricky's job. His natural, uncontrollable behaviour soon gets Ricky into really big trouble, but the sales numbers now go up for the first time in months...

Guh, indeed sucked, but Eddie hasn't really done anything good in years.

Chestnuts roasted by Blah...blah @ 07/09/2004 09:47 AM EST

Yeah, Eddie Murphy's done a hell of a lot of stinkers where he isn't helped out by any other comedic talents.

Now how about movies that were better than you expected them to be? The Fifth Element Immediately Comes to mind for me. Both my sister and I put in the tape, expecting it to suck, but we both loved it.

As for other disappointments, add Die Hard with A Vengeance to my list. I loved Die Hard 1 and 2, but this one just plain sucked.

I also thought that Alien Ressurection would make up for Alien 3, and only managed to make a bigger mess out of the franchise, because the studio didn't want to do an alien movie without Ripley, and forced the screenwriter to come up with a convoluted mess of a story so that she could be in it.

Chestnuts roasted by Number5 @ 07/09/2004 09:55 AM EST

My most disappointing movie of all time had to be The Phantom Menace. I mean, for 15 years I waited for it, and it sucked. I thnk I first heard in like '92 they were making it, and I just couldn't wait those 7 years. Both of those movies have ruined the originals for me a little bit too.

I only went in Castle Dracula once, the year before it burned down, and now I regret it. It was just such a cool sight to see on the boardwalk. I even loved that square, rotating sign at the entrace to the pier. I loved the river boat ride you could go on underneath it. Hey does anybody remember the Haunted Castle they had on Morey's pier? And right next to it was the Star Wars ride, with the tunnels with the dark side or light side, and you could pick where you wanted to go? It had to be a long time ago, I was probably only 4 or 5, and all I remember was those two tunnels. It is one of my first memories. Maybe Starwenn will remember. Anything new down there this year? I haven't been down the shore all year yet sad

Sorry for being belated, but good luck Matt! We're all proud of you!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Y2JB78 @ 07/09/2004 10:11 AM EST

Thanx ACH, iced teasers is one of the few TV-related things not stored in my brain, which is why I'm not too worried about whether or not I can view Matt's trove of ads. In the meantime, I am already disappointed by "I, Robot" because I am a huge fan of Asimov. I didn't mind "Bicentennial Man" as much, having read both the original story and "The Positronic Man," it was pretty close for what the movie was. I can understand how adaptations work ("We Can Remember It For You Wholesale" into "Total Recall," for example), but casting a Babe as Susan Calvin? Blorgh. If they wanted Robots and Murder, "Caves of Steel" would have worked a lot better. Will Smith as Lije Bailey sounds like a better idea.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/09/2004 12:36 PM EST

I was just e-mailed this link to a whole bunch of TV intros: www.yasin.be/85gjc0/tvintro.php

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 07/09/2004 01:04 PM EST

I just did a CTRL-F on "Blair" and found that many others were dissapointed by the Blair Witch Project. I was.

When I went into the theatre I WANTED to be scared. I was hoping it would be the scariest thing I'd ever see and that It would be money well spent. I was wrong. The girls I was with jumped during every scene. I'll admit that a few scenes were a bit errie, but other than that it was bunk.
Outside the theatre, crossing the street to get to the parkade, one guy was adamant that the movie was real. I said "Um, no I don't think so." But, still, he persisted so I just ignored him.

Chestnuts roasted by CasinoRoyale @ 07/09/2004 01:46 PM EST

i'd have to say that hulk the movie was a big dissappointment (lot of words)
i went to the theatre to see it, camen out with a bitter aftertaste, tooo long for any action to start.

Chestnuts roasted by Randy @ 07/09/2004 02:06 PM EST

The Matrix Revolutions almost made me give up watching movies altogether. I wish I was kidding. And I liked American Psycho, so who knows what kind of taste I have.

Chestnuts roasted by MadMax1001 @ 07/09/2004 02:49 PM EST

i agree that the star wars prequels have soured the originals. for me, one thing i like about pre-CGI effects in movies is that the things ARE ACTUALLY THERE. cgi doesn't look real, especially in episode I. i like how the footprints in the cgi-sand (because they couldn't just go somewhere and film real sand)show up after the characters have walked a noticable distance away. i think cgi is cool if you have to do it (like the hulk), but damn, just build a fucking set! i want to feel like i'm seeing people walking around in a real place, not on the holodeck. and the overall style and desing of the cgi sets looks too rounded and goofy for me. i wouldn't be caught dead in a naboo fighter. it's yellow! and they also ruin vader... darth vader used to be so cool, but now i hate him for being this whiny little bitch. he only looks cool later because he got so messed up in an accident that he had to get palpatine's help, and was too weak to resist the dark side. screw anakin, i wish they never made any other movies. and hayden christensen (i hope i spelled his talentless name wrong) reminds me too much of kirk cameron.

Chestnuts roasted by poofyllama @ 07/09/2004 02:59 PM EST

Sweet sassy-molassy ME! That's a freakin treasure trove you found there!

Chestnuts roasted by jhnnywalkr @ 07/09/2004 04:28 PM EST

ah yes, the haunted castle....i cry too sometimes...like when i think about those hands trying to grab me as I walk down that narrow hallway...anyway, bad movies...i hate hate hate that jonny depp movie "fear and loathing in las vegas". I could figure out what the hell was going on in that piece of garbage. throw that up there with Magical Mystery Tour as movies NOT to see when sober!

Chestnuts roasted by Rugenstat @ 07/09/2004 04:41 PM EST

How could you not like M Night Shymalan? The man is brilliant and his best movie is Signs, hands down.

Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 07/09/2004 06:32 PM EST

Didn't care for The Ring

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 07/09/2004 07:27 PM EST

Wow Matt, I guess haste makes waste (you'll see).

I just came back from Point Pleasant with +1 Stripe and +2 Gizmos. They moved the machine outside of the main arcade, and it took us a while to find it, but it was worth it. Apparently many things have occured in a week's time to this machine, because I got Stripe right off the bat, and then took two tries to get Gizmo.

Hehe, this lady was there talking about how the claw doesn't grip good on that machine, and just as she was just about done blabbering I basketed my Gizmo. XD

Chestnuts roasted by Ian, Just Ian @ 07/09/2004 08:08 PM EST

Dogma did little for me but everyone else in the world seems to love it. I must be stupid.

Chestnuts roasted by CCP @ 07/09/2004 08:26 PM EST

Oh, and Underworld. That one let me down big time. I still haven't seen the directors cut, but in the theater it just like, had a really good idea, then continued for two hours to not use it.

Chestnuts roasted by Former A1C Pete @ 07/09/2004 10:58 PM EST

hi Matt, i was woundering if you heard of these things called root beer float pops, these things have vinilla ice cream in the middle and
a thin coat of frozen root beer around it plus they are not costly

Chestnuts roasted by day with the lava @ 07/09/2004 11:21 PM EST

Oh, congratulations on the Nickelodeon job... I was going to congratulate you in the previous entry, but I couldn't scratch up enough memories about the Atari Lynx, which my brother has, other than liking S.T.U.N. Runner and some other Canadian already covered the "We can't watch Nickelodeon in this country (without a C-Band satellite dish", so it's moot to us." angle.

Anyhow, most disappointing film? In recent memory, it's Triplets of Belleville. Even as an anime fan, I don't have anything against cartoons which aren't Japanese; my King of the Hill boxsets get watched as much as any of my anime DVDs, one of my favourite cartoons currently is the Canadian Untalkative Bunny, and I was actually rooting for Lilo & Stitch to win the Best Animated Feature Oscar over Hayao Miyazaki's Spirited Away (which was a pretty good kid's movie, but I still honestly never understood what the critical hyperbole was about). However, for Les Triplettes, after a wonderfully hyperfrenetic 1930s Disney-inspired (but "adult" wink opening sequence in a nightclub, I just found it to be a bunch of quirky visuals without an interesting enough story to hold it together, and the visuals often got a bit too grotesque for my tastes. I just have no interest in rewatching it.

If anyone's interested, I actually did a list of overrated anime films over a year ago which I reposted in my RottenTomatoes.com blog, and most of them are ones that didn't live up to my expectations as per the suggested topic of this thread.

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 07/10/2004 12:12 AM EST

The entire possible entertainment value of Signs was destroyed when I heard the biggest plot hole.

The one about the aliens' weakness.

I particularly like The Ring, but that's probably because I then proceeded to get wrapped up in the lore after seeing it.

Chestnuts roasted by Ian, Just Ian @ 07/10/2004 12:55 AM EST

Indiana Jones and the Temple Of Doom was horrible. I poked myself in the eyes half way through to avoid watching it.

Chestnuts roasted by garp @ 07/10/2004 02:10 AM EST

The Secret Window, Enemy at the Gates, Kill Bill, Matrix 1-3, Braveheart, Last Samurai, Shrek 1&2, Finding Nemo, Lord of the Rings 1-3 and A Cinderella Story...all stupid. I haven't seen A Cinderella Story and don't plan on it..ever. But if it has Hillary Duff in it you can bet it'll be dumb as shit.

Chestnuts roasted by Brillski @ 07/10/2004 03:01 AM EST

I also forgot about the Final Fantasy movie. I'd say that movie is the worst movie ever made.

Chestnuts roasted by Brillski @ 07/10/2004 03:04 AM EST

Here's one not on the list. I was very disapointed in 'Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron', that disney horse movie. From the animation standpoint, it was pretty darn good, but the story.. And the writing... Ugh. They could have done much, MUCH more with that. My friend Ashley STILL wont forgive me for dragging her along.

Shrek 2 fell a bit short of my expectations, but it was still a good movie.

Here's a threadjack, a cartoon that fell short of my expectations. Zoids:Fuzors. The first two Zoids series were great, and then we get shoveled that crap. It's so sad how much they screwed that up. Canceled after 13 episodes. I was almost happy, except for the fact that i'm a rabid Zoids fan.

Chestnuts roasted by Cleckmoon @ 07/10/2004 03:34 AM EST

Leonard Part 6!!!!

Just kidding ^_^ I acctually liked that one... Killer salmon!

Chestnuts roasted by JasonA @ 07/10/2004 07:04 AM EST

Steve Brandon: Should I just change my name to "Some Other Canadian"? Maybe it'll be easier. Eh, I'm just playing.

I'd like to add Hulk to my list. While not a bad film in the least, it didn't live up to all the advertsing blitz and hype, so I was bit dissapointed.

I'd also like to say I didn't mind the Star Wars prequels as much as seemingly everyone else on the planet does. Ditto on Daredevil, which I actually enjoyed more than Hulk, but then I don't read comic books, so I didn't have much source material to compare to. Maybe we'd all be happier that way.

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 07/10/2004 08:56 AM EST

trajeal-I wasn't actually going to make a Corey Haim website. Maybe I would discuss him on a site of my own, but I'd never make him the core subject.

As far as The Ring goes, I prefer the original Japanese film and not that American remake that you guys are always talking about. I think the American version is simply America's way of saying "It's not good until WE make it."

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/10/2004 11:29 AM EST

Say Matt, why don't you get some guest writers or something for the time in which you will not be updating as much. I think it'd be a great opporunity for other writers to get some exposure. Furthermore, it would give the fans something to read while you're away, even though it won't the same as when you write it.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/10/2004 11:34 AM EST

biggest disappointment of a movie - daredevil for sure. and now there's actaully gonna be a sequel for that piece of horse manure? ugh.

in an attempt to get my own little survey going..hey guys, what would be your dream/fantasy/ideal x-e article? mine would be a video tour of matt's apartment. oh the things we're sure to be amazed by...

Chestnuts roasted by amneris @ 07/10/2004 11:44 AM EST

After reading three days worth of posts, here's my three cents,

Michael Moorer= Douchebag

KING ARTHUR. Saw it last night. almost had me sleeping. a good hour of this movie is nap time material, with only the first and last half hour of pg-13 killing being anywhere NEAR what I expected.
The movie decided to show one possibility on how the "arthur" legend was born. Who gives a shit how it was born. I think if they would have stuck to the magic and mystery of what the legend is, this movie would fare much better, instead of being the Braveheart minus the gore remake it is. Bleh.

Chestnuts roasted by naturekid @ 07/10/2004 11:54 AM EST

Who Wants to Be a Superhero?
www.mtv.com/onair/castingcall/story.jhtml?id=1483868

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 07/10/2004 01:29 PM EST

amneris: "in an attempt to get my own little survey going..hey guys, what would be your dream/fantasy/ideal x-e article?"

If you don't know my answer, you haven't been here long, huh?

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 07/10/2004 05:31 PM EST

How about Matt reviewing "Xanadu". The ultimate in 80's cheese!

Chestnuts roasted by Joe in OH @ 07/10/2004 05:49 PM EST

Matt, can you please try and meet Butch Hartman (The guy who created the fairly oddparents and Danny Phantom) and get an interview with him for X-E? Also, even though you dislike the Fairly Oddparents, What do you think of Butch Hartman's other show, Danny Phantom? Also, can you please do an article on the Bionicle toyline? Even though it aint 80s, its still; really cool (If you have no friggin clue what Bionicle is, go to BZ Power.com for more info).Anyway, good luck with your new job. Well, gotta go, bye .

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 07/10/2004 06:22 PM EST

Also, for the dissapointing flick thing, i'd say "Cheaper by the Dozen". THat dad was such a fucking a-hole when his kids needed him

Chestnuts roasted by TOM @ 07/10/2004 06:25 PM EST

I do not want Cleckmoon to get mad at me, but I have to point out that 'Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron' was actually produced by Dreamswork, not Disney.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 07/10/2004 07:02 PM EST

Amazingly, I don't think anyone mentioned this one (if you did, I applaud you), so I'll put in my late $0.02:

The Cable Guy.

Man oh man oh man, what a waste of a conceptionaly sound idea.

Michael Moorer is a douchebag. Didn't he lose to Tyson? Of course, most fighters of the 80's lost to Tyson. Oh, I'm sorry, did you mean Michael Moore?

Chestnuts roasted by Left-wing Nutjob @ 07/10/2004 07:07 PM EST

A Disney's movie(s), in my opinion, that fall short to my expectation was 'Atlantis: The Lost Empire.' It was so predictable and short.

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 07/10/2004 07:09 PM EST

And I also forgot to mention that the cool sub in the movie 'Atlantis'blew up second later by a giant mechanical lobster. What a total rip-off. sad

Chestnuts roasted by Beta-Theta @ 07/10/2004 07:12 PM EST

If I may throw my hat into this, the biggest letdown for me was Meet The Parents. It just...wasn't funny.

And to think that its on some of those "Funniest movies of all time" lists...

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 07/11/2004 02:24 AM EST

Okay, that does it. I'm sick of this topic. Matt, when are you going to do something about your lack of updates lately. You don't have to put up a new article, just do something so that we don't have everyone talking about this same old topic.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/11/2004 02:30 AM EST

Well, I would like to bring this thread full circle. I am watching American Psycho on TV right now, and damn. This movie is a piece of shit. The dialog really sucks, and I don't know about Bale as BaTman either. He kinda bothers me.

Nate, he said he would be busy with the new job, get off his back.Why don't you list your fave Batmen in order?

I say Keaton, West, Kilmer, Clooney. Next?

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 07/11/2004 02:41 AM EST

Hey Trajeal, you are right about Mina Harker, that is the name of the heroine in Stoker's novel.

As for disappointing movies, the most recent one that I can think of is Dodgeball. I was hoping for way more shots of people getting hit in the face with dodgeballs. For a movie called Dodgeball there was so not enough dodgeball!

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 07/11/2004 02:51 AM EST

I'm almost afraid to admit this but as I type I'm watching Royal Rumble. It's without question one of the most homoerotic movies ever made but at present hour it'll suffice. I should be electricuted for this act of shame.

Chestnuts roasted by Brillski @ 07/11/2004 03:21 AM EST

Y'all mention some good ones. Both Matrix sequels, and for me, even the original Matrix. But that's probably because I didn't see it until about 2 years after it came out. And at that point, everyone I knew had been squirting over it for so long that it couldn't POSSIBLY live up.

Ditto on High Fidelity - it wasn't horrible, but it had so much potential to be clever and witty and fun. Instead it was mostly John Cusack whining about his love life. And Daredevil! Argh!

We shall never speak of the Star Wars prequels again.

My biggest disappointment, though? Fight Club. Nobody ever agrees with me on this one, but I found it both annoying and predictable.

Chestnuts roasted by Stacy @ 07/11/2004 07:32 AM EST

Fans of Jim Henson's fantasy films might want to look out for the straight-to-video release of "Mirrormask" from Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean:
www.comicbookresources.com/news/newsitem.cgi?id=2613 www.geocities.com/mirrormaskmovie/

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 07/11/2004 12:14 PM EST

Probot (Not to be confused with David Grohl's heavy metal project) has gone overboard in animating action figures: www.probotproductions.com/home.htm

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 07/11/2004 01:57 PM EST

I love the Harry Potter books but had no desire to see the movies. After being repeatidly told that I *HAD* to see the first one, I gave in and was amazed to see a movie far worse than I expected. I love bad movies as much as good movies, yet this had managed to be awful without being comedically bad.

Redeaming qualities:

1. Daniel Radcliffe's "acting" - Isn't it great the way his blank stares are interrupted only by the occasional emotionlessly uttered line?

2. Special effect - Fluffy cracks me up. It doesn't look a giant, three headed monster from heck, it looks like a dog sloppily enlarged on Microsoft Paint. Extra points regarding Fluffy go the "actors" feigning terror.

3. That scar - Dear "Harry Potter" makeup artists: I have a marker that isn't dry. If you say the magic word, I'll let you borrow it for your next multi-million dollar blockbuster. Your fans deserve the best.

Chestnuts roasted by Tougi @ 07/11/2004 02:12 PM EST

The Avengers. Uma, Fienes, Connery, 80 million dollar spy movie. What could go wrong?

GOOD LORD!

Chestnuts roasted by Thejyav @ 07/11/2004 02:26 PM EST

"Mrs. Peel, we are needed!" Yeah, to try and explain what went wrong with the movie! I love the old show, but was extremely blindsided by the movie. Why, oh why?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 07/11/2004 03:17 PM EST

Yes, Dracula is going to be terrible (I've heard the score already), but two top-flight musical theatre babes, Melissa Errico and Kelli O'Hara, are rumored to have nude scenes.

Which means that I'll be there first preview before it gets cut.

To be fair, there are many musical versions of it...exactly one of them is any good (not this one), and I say that with all sincerity, not just because its lyricist/librettist is a good friend of mine.

But nobody's listening to this, I'm sure.

Also Matt, I have a friend at Nick - if you ever run into a guy named Gil Benbrook, tell him I say hi and I owe him an email.

Chestnuts roasted by Seth Christenfeld @ 07/11/2004 08:48 PM EST

I too was flabbergasted by how bad The Phanton Menace was.
Another for me is Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I love HK cinema, martial arts flix, etc, WHY did the US latch onto that stinker? It is horribly monotonous and boring.
Another one no one has mentioned is DREAMCATCHER. Great looking cast list, but then you watch it, and you see an alien come out of Banky's ass. Wish Jay and Bob had been there, it could only have improved the movie.

Chestnuts roasted by Blair @ 07/12/2004 12:15 AM EST

Underworld was barely watchable. It was basically a combination of Interview with a Vampire, Pokemon, The Hulk, The Matrix, and a few other movies, all mashed together in the ever-popular Romeo and Juliet plot line. I actually laughed at most points when they were trying to be utterly serious about the plot... some dead guys come back, some werewolf turns into the Hulk and has a hissy fit... The bad gay was the good guy, and then he was a bad guy, but then he was REALLY the good guy. And why did they call Werewolves "Lichens?" Isn't a Lichen a moss-fungus?

The Scorpion King was hilariously horrid. The names were so unpronouceable, that we just renamed the two main characters "Jujube" (The Rock) and "Skank" I don't even remember what the movie was about! Jujube did some ancient egyptian WWE stuff and had ancient egyptian sex with Skank.

Anyone see SWIMFAN? Now that was shit. Not only was the story predictable and frustrating (because the guy was an ass for not predicting what would happen next), but there was a pretty pointless 20 minute pool-sex scene. I actually screamed. And strangely enough, someone actually SHUSHED me.

I actually liked Mars Attacks and all the Tim Burton Batman movies. I hate the newer Bond movies because they actually make sense. The old ones are better because of the stupid bad guys, stupid plans, and stupid names. (Pussy Galore! HAH!) And where else can you see Roger Moore RUN across the backs of alligators to safe ground while all the black people in the movie are evil conspirists?

(PS- Matt, tell Nick to bring back Rocko's Modern Life and Aah! Real Monsters!)

Chestnuts roasted by Z? @ 07/12/2004 12:23 AM EST

"Lycans" not Lichens. "Lycanthropy" is the clinical term for werewolfism. (As is a clinical term was needed...) Still, it was a damn silly film, can't believe a sequel is being made.
I like Mars Attacks, too. Good corn.

Chestnuts roasted by Blair @ 07/12/2004 04:07 AM EST

Way of the Gun......

saw it opening night with 10 other people and we were the only ones....

Chestnuts roasted by Selvig @ 07/12/2004 03:42 PM EST

The movie timeline sucked ass, I knew it wasnt going to be the biggest thing in holywood, but I thought it would at least stick to the book, just a little bit!!!! I also hated blair witch, Signs and Matrix I didnt even bother checking out the 2nd and 3rd! and I have to agree sobriquett on blade runner, I had to watch it for an english class shitty shitty stuff!

Chestnuts roasted by Loozer @ 07/12/2004 04:03 PM EST

hey matt I'll send them to you by mail with dry ice free!!!

Chestnuts roasted by day with the lava @ 07/12/2004 10:07 PM EST

hey guys I have to tell you somthing
I am shuting down x-entertainment and ask me why

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/12/2004 10:09 PM EST

Whyever would you shut down X-Entertainment, fake Matt?

C'mon, the real Matt knows how to spell "something" and "shutting."

Chestnuts roasted by Z? @ 07/13/2004 12:13 AM EST

Jade! I took a date to that movie when I was younger and was kind of embarassed because it was more like a porno. Except in porno's, they have better acting and plot lines.

Great Expectations! Well, I guess I didn't expect it to be good, and it wasn't. Read the book instead. Maybe it's because I don't like Gwyneth at all.

Chestnuts roasted by G4L @ 07/13/2004 12:43 AM EST

OKAY I win the award for most vague dissapointing movie:
The Sweet Hereafter. It was directed by Atom Egoyand, and based on Russel Banks' excellent novel. He's from michigan! but the hack director is Canadian, as is that actress, Sarah Polley. That movie made me hate her.

Here's why: The story is about he effect of a bus crashing into a frozen lake, killing the small town's children, leaving a few. It wonderfully narrated by a tough but sincere busdriving woman. In the movie, she one of those mousey and annoying ladies. One of the survivors, a cheerleading babysitter, is crippled, and has to deal with the changes in her life.

Here's where the hate comes in: Sarah, once protested at the union strike by singing "Courage" by the tragically hip, then went on a talkshow and critisized the ptotestors for becoming violent after the police raid (and hey! wouldn't you get pushy when a politician shoves your wife out of the way?) SO GUESS WHAT:

that cheerleader I mentioned, is now a guitar playing folk girl played by Sara. HMMMM WHO is a frick publicity whore? HMM!? ugh! that movie made me ashamed to be Canadian knowing that canadian ruined the best book i read! thanks Matt, I am chainsmoking now, but atleast I got that off my chest.
PS Polley is the blonde in the most recent zombie flick. guess why I refused to go?

Chestnuts roasted by Bitsy&Roary @ 07/13/2004 01:47 PM EST

YO! GOD ANIMAGNUS! wasn't the credit song worthwhile for robo3 though?

SU-PER-COP! yay DEVO!

Chestnuts roasted by Bitsy&Roary @ 07/13/2004 01:51 PM EST

Please don't leave a girl with nothing to read but a survey and a blog or you'll get..three posts in a row!
I know! I'm sorry! I'll be rubbing Matt's feet while his Iced Tea is being fetched!

I just wanted to say somehting about Micheal Moore:
I'm glad he uses the Republican's style of media to get his way. Without columbine, would there have been any questions and lobbies about the access to guns? and now Farenheit 9/11, can you really imagine Bush winning again?
without F9/11, would you like Bush for another 4 years? It's really just a really clever and extended Democrat Campaign commercial.
and, to avoid further posts, I'll apologize for all the typos. My keyboard it stiffer than typewriter from 1918. Couple that with the rage flowing from that Polley outburst. thanks, and now I Shut up for a good three days....

Chestnuts roasted by Bitsy&Roary @ 07/13/2004 02:01 PM EST

I'm shocked no one mentioned the remake of "Shaft" with Samuel L. Jackson. Oh, man, could I dig it?? Terrible! You'd think Samuel would have made that into a gem, that he'd be a natural. WRONG! Christian Bale, fresh from "American Psycho", played essentially the same role...just not as creepy. Only good thing was that the Commissioner from "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego" showed up at the very end, to exact "justice". Just bad!!

Chestnuts roasted by JWalters @ 07/13/2004 05:15 PM EST

Probably, Bad Santa. I thought it would be funnier than it was.

Someone commented before about High Fidelity, I thought it was an awesome & funny movie. Mainly because I love John Cusack, and I love romantic bullshit too.

Chestnuts roasted by Courtney @ 07/13/2004 07:41 PM EST

Van Hellsing... Gah, absolutely terrible.. Such a huge letdown.. That movie needs to cease to exist

Chestnuts roasted by KIWASABI @ 07/14/2004 08:17 PM EST

Van Helsing indeed. I really was looking forward to that one. And then I saw it... Ugh.

Chestnuts roasted by Schrik @ 07/16/2004 02:17 PM EST

Batman and Robin, I enjoyed Batman Forever, what can I say I was pretty much still a kid, but this sucked major bulldog balls. Why remove the dark for a lighter Batman, Spidey does the quips not Batman. I don't blame George Clooney, he'd have probably been a better choice if the movie was more like the Tim Burton classics, I mean watch him in From Dusk Till Dawn, he is an awesome and diverse actor.
And on the Micheal Moore front, his is a documentary, all documentaries are controlled in some way or another, the only true docementaries are those from when cinema first began, with trains entering and leaving stations and people leaving factories and still then there was a degree of control as the camera crew knew when to arrive. Thing is all documentaries have a biased attached to them, if you watch carefully they are twisted, for example if an interviewer asks a question and the interviewee goes off on a tangent denying the claim of the quesiton, he/she will make themselves look more guilty without help from anyone but themselves. I agree he does change things to suit his own ends (Micheal Moore) but he does it in such a masterful way, he is an amazing film maker and gets exactly the kind of reaction he wants from the audience.

Chestnuts roasted by Dax @ 07/22/2004 07:40 PM EST