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06/28/2004 Entry: "The Wayne's World "NOT!!" Dice Game!"

The NOT! Dice Game hit store shelves in 1992 and quickly cornered an untapped market of "Wayne's World" obsessed Yahtzee enthusiasts. In that statement alone we learn why only four copies of the game were ever produced, two of which given to the guy who came up with the Noah's Arcade jingle. Not to be confused with something anyone would want to play, the box jokingly refers to it as the "worst dice game ever." Perhaps I've played worse, but such experiences were still better occasions: I didn't have to waltz into a crowded living room holding a box with a big picture of Garth Algar on it.

"Wayne's World" merchandise certainly wasn't a booming industry. Save for the occasional video game and a few whimsical beach towels won from radio contests, there wasn't much. While time has softened the punch of the film, it's still a great, funny achievement with a talented cast and a script that wasn't written over lunch at Koko's Meathouse. I doubt this translated to many fans willing to buy dice games based on the movie, but Mattel knew how to avoid any big losses: it's a cheap piece of crap, involving about forty cents worth of raw materials and creating a field of competitive energy similar to that of "who gets to pour their soda first today?" By no means is this dice game party time excellent.

Awesome Ingredients: 20 six-sided theme dice, 4 dice cups, 4 cardboard shields, 1 scorecard pad, 1 love.

Had they included small plastic player pieces shaped like Rob Lowe and that guy who sent Zeus after Hulk Hogan, I might forgive the fact that everything else inside the box sucks. Though the instruction booklet spends 4,000 words explaining the rules, I think I can do it in 13: roll dice, keep shouting "schwing" until another player remembers where they put Scrabble. For those seeking more of an expertise in the official "Wayne's World" NOT!!!! Dice Game, here's a crash course...

The directions are beyond my brainpower. Don't write this off as mere laziness on my part -- I read them, I reread them, I asked others to read them. We understood the basics of the game, but beyond that it's all a really hip version of Greek. Best as I can tell, each player rolls the dice (shielding their rolls from the other players) after announcing what they think they'll get, and it's up to everyone else to shout "NOT!" if they believe they're being lied to. It's important to say "NOT!" and not just call the rolling player a liar, because swear to God, the instructions demand a 1-point penalty if the word "liar" is used.

Of course, it wouldn't be very Wayneish if we used any regular old dice. No sir, each side of the plastic cubes included here depict some classic Wayne's World bit, ranging from "Dream Sequence" to "Extreme Close Up," not to mention the ever popular "Schwing," and yes, even "Hurl." The cardboard shields helpfully identify the ridiculous icons used to denote each term -- "Schwing," for example, is represented on the dice with a small drawing of Wayne and Garth's crotches. It's little touches like these that make the NOT!!! Dice Game such an unparalleled success.

To make the game seem more involved, Mattel whipped up a few "optional rules" for more intense game play, including:

A) Players may not leave the table unless they say "I am not worthy to play this round."
B) Never use the word "bogus." (penalty, 1 point)
C) The winner of the last round must be referred to as: "O' gifted one."

So, not only are we rolling hollow plastic dice with crudely drawn stickers of Wayne Campbell's head on the sides, but we've gotta say a whole bunch of stupid shit to boot. I'm not the biggest backgammon fan around, but at least nobody makes me perform dated Dana Carvey impressions before flicking a puck.

I gave the game a whirl with some of my more charitable friends the other night, and despite our lacking understanding of the rules, at least the scorecard looked right. After they left, I climbed into bed and fantasized about Mrs. Vanderhoff and Wayne's second cameraman pulling mussels from a shell and eating crullers from the same fork. All in all, a lousy freakin Friday.

REPLIES: 39 comments

Dang I just looked at imdb. Wayne's World came out in 1992. Man I feel old now. It feels just the other day I saw it at the dollar movie theather.

Chestnuts roasted by JoseRZ @ 06/28/2004 02:10 AM EST

Remember Wayne's World 2? Man oh man... Bad dreams.

Chestnuts roasted by Brad @ 06/28/2004 02:20 AM EST

Man, now I got the third post on X-E. Looks like staying up till 3:00 AM jerkin' off and watching comedians on Comedy Central has FINALLY paid off. Score!

Chestnuts roasted by NateAlbright @ 06/28/2004 02:34 AM EST

Matt, sometimes, I feel bad for you. This is one of those times.

Oh, and do a review of No Holds Barred! That would so reek of awesomeness.

Chestnuts roasted by PPM @ 06/28/2004 02:34 AM EST

When we bought the Wayne's World video (many years ago, when it first arrived on video), the store my mom got it from gave us a "backstage pass" with a picture of Wayne and Garth on it. That's all the Wayne's World merchandise I had. Oh, I did have the Wayne's World hat, too. Still have it, I think...

Chestnuts roasted by marioshoku @ 06/28/2004 02:42 AM EST

it's monday already?

Chestnuts roasted by thrhfggh @ 06/28/2004 03:18 AM EST

Sounds to me like a product-tie-in version of Liar's Dice (http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/45), which really is a classic 'beer and pretzles' type game. To translate to those not engrossed in the cardboard, 'game you can play with friends in a casual setting.' Much like the games from Cheapass.com, but sometimes not as cheap. D6's can be a quarter each. If the Wayne's World dice wern't such shit, that'd be a good buy for the two bucks you probably spent on it, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by The Orgg @ 06/28/2004 03:23 AM EST

Click my name to see my review of the NES Wayne's World game.

I own a Simpson's themed dice game. Its called, "Don't Have a Cow" dice game, speaking of games named after dated phrases. Not sure what year its from. The premise is oddly Vegas-esque. You bet poker chips on Simpsons portraits, then try and roll pictures of the characters in that portrait on up to 8 dice. Other players bet chips on whether or not they think the shooter will make the roll. Thankfully, there's no required yelling of dated Simpson's catch phrases, so that puts it one up on the "Wayne's World NOT!" game.

Because I suck donkey balls at Wheel of Fortune, what does your scorecard say, Matt? (and yes, I'm aware its Hangman, not Wheel of Fortune, but its the same thing really).

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 06/28/2004 08:31 AM EST

No Stairway To Heaven!

Chestnuts roasted by Denied! @ 06/28/2004 08:34 AM EST

"By no means is this dice game party time excellent."

HA!

Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 06/28/2004 09:24 AM EST

Waynes World to almost made me choke on my soda from laughing too hard:

Garth: "Yes, I'll have the Cream of Sum Yun Guy"

Chestnuts roasted by stilewalker @ 06/28/2004 09:26 AM EST

Oh, that was Waynes World 2 BTW.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 06/28/2004 09:27 AM EST

Actually Stile, that was from the first WW, and it was Wayne who said it, not Garth. Shyeahh.

Chestnuts roasted by Rob Lowe @ 06/28/2004 09:28 AM EST

Here I thought I was a loser for buying the movie soundtrack for "Bohemian Rhapsody". I feel better knowing that there were much crappier movie tie-ins that I could have bought.

Chestnuts roasted by IncogNegro @ 06/28/2004 10:29 AM EST

I really liked the soundstrack to WW, the Chili Peppers song was cool. Dream Weaver, some shit sung by Tia, Of course Rhapsody!!!

The WW theme by Wayne and Garth on the album sucks total ass however!!

Diddle-a-doot!
Diddle-a-doot!
Diddle-a-doot!
(I was'nt sure how to type it, but it sure is fun to Say)

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 06/28/2004 10:39 AM EST

"Thanks, I like to play."

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/28/2004 11:32 AM EST

"If he were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick."

Chestnuts roasted by pulseczar @ 06/28/2004 03:11 PM EST

Of all the Curt Fuller references you could make you picked No Holds Barred? Matt, he was the guy who put the Ghost Busters in the looney bin... He is truly the unsung hero of the pantheon of movie asshole.

Chestnuts roasted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 06/28/2004 06:00 PM EST

He's also the guy who, in Scary Movie, made the best sexual pantomimes ever put on film.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/28/2004 06:01 PM EST

Did you get that game from ebay? I saw one on there last week! I on the other hand have the waynes world VCR board game. Back in 92 we were so into waynes world, me and my cousin WERE Wayne and Garth! haha

Or at least we thought so...

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 06/28/2004 06:16 PM EST

Now, Wayne's World is a movie I can agree with you upon completely. It's actually one of my all-time live-action top seven, along with Terminator 2, The Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Airplane!, and Back to the Future. I don't know why it spoke to me so much as a teenager, but, even today, I still love quoting it. "Wow! Aren't we lucky we were there to get all that information? It seemed extraneous at the time." / Benjamin: "Russell's our best producer. He does Chicago P.M. with Elaine Ronkey, Sunshine Saturday, The African-American Digest" Mr. Vanderhoff: "I've never heard of that one." Benjamin: "It's on very late." Russell: "It won several awards!" / Glenn: (Talking to camera) "I'd never done a crazy thing in my life before that night. Why is it, if you kill another man in battle, it's called 'heroic', yet, if you kill a man in the heat of passion, it's called 'murder'?" Wayne: (interrupting) "Hello! What do you think you're doing? Only me and Garth get to talk to the camera. Come on!"

I actually did win a Wayne's World sweatshirt once from CBC's (long-defunct) Good Rockin' Tonight. I think I still have it somewhere.

Also, about Wayne's World 2... the sad story has appeared in print many times in Canada. Mike Myers wanted to do a sequel that was essentially a remake of the old British comedy Passport to Pimlico, with Aurora separating from the United States somehow, but Paramount couldn't get the remake rights from Ealing studios. But Mike Myers was still under contract with Paramount to do a sequel, and, at the time, he wasn't enough of a big shot in the entertainment industry to be able to afford to face off against Viacom's lawyers to get out of the contract, so he and Bonny & Terry Turner had to bang up a script from scratch in two weeks. I think they did the best they could considering the circumstances, but, yeah, it doesn't touch the original film.

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 06/29/2004 03:44 AM EST

Also, the first Wayne's World is personally noteworthy to me because it's the only film I own on VHS, LaserDisc, and DVD.

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 06/29/2004 03:50 AM EST

Waynes World...hhmm... cool :-P

Chestnuts roasted by Elka @ 06/29/2004 05:31 AM EST

Come now Wayne's Word 2 was pretty good. You can't put down a story of Keith Moon, Grahm Nash and a half insane roadie breaking into a candy store, taking on a bengled tiger, and killing a man with his own shoe in order to get brown M&Ms so that Ozzy Osbourne would play. Suffice to say the show went on without a hitch.

Plus Walken. Seriously, WALKEN!

Chestnuts roasted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 06/29/2004 07:51 AM EST

The only bit in Wayne's World 2 that REALLY sucks is the really dodgy cut away to some other guy playing the guitar when Christopher Walken does some horribly unconvincing rockin' out. Grim.

Chestnuts roasted by Gerardo Atomico @ 06/30/2004 05:40 AM EST

hahaha that Japanese cartoon adaption is hillarious, has anybody read the English trnaslation to the theme lyrics...

"Power Up Turtles" - English Translation

The enormous riddle is a whirlpool
In the middle of darkness
Volumes of books are crowded and we
Don't hesitate
To know the limits of courage and
The escaped legends of fights
Have filled the shell
Go! Go! Turtles
A power up transformation
Go! Go! Turtles
Evil's soldiers kick about
We Turtles (We Turtles), Fighting Turtles (Fighting Turtles)
Are not slow Turtles
A punch is one! Two! (A punch is one! Two!)
A kick is a boom boom! (A kick is a boom boom)
Protect the tranquility of Earth for the sake of mutants that are born
Go! Go! Turtles
Overwhelming, surprising transformation
Go! Go! Turtles
Dangerous punches and sudden changes, all right now
We Turtles (We Turtles), Shining Turtles (Shining Turtles)
Our hearts are combined and the miracle of the combined body is
Awakened

hahah what the fuck

Chestnuts roasted by Oliver Besner @ 06/30/2004 07:59 AM EST

Ok, you have no idea how much I need to own that game right now. Sounds SPECTACULAR!

Chestnuts roasted by Megan @ 06/30/2004 04:18 PM EST

...but the shopkeeper and his son were a different story alltogether.

We had to beat them to death with their own shoes. --CLASSIC

Chestnuts roasted by creepyBrit @ 07/03/2004 12:17 AM EST

When I started reading this bohemian rhasody just came on...weird!!!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by yep... @ 07/07/2004 02:27 PM EST

I remember seeing ads for this in comic books. There was a pic of a "hotty" in it, and the ad told you that you didn't even deserve to look at her because you weren't cool enough.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/10/2004 12:09 PM EST

Or maybe it was different game, because now that I think of it, I remember it being a board game and not just a dice game.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 07/10/2004 12:12 PM EST

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