06/23/2004 Entry: "Super Mario Bros. -- The Movie!"

Here's my extremely scatterbrained review of Super Mario Bros., the 1993 film that took more than a few liberties with its video game subject matter. Here's a surprise: I absolutely did not hate this movie. It's ridiculous and stupid, but it's got a lot going on, and some of it really works. Maybe it's just that it's so unbelievably different from any other movie I've seen. Maybe it's just the Bob-ombs. The review is more an exercise in throwing a bunch of random shit at the html wall to try to convey the broad, silly themes of the film. In other words, it's all over the place. Still, if you've never seen the Bob Hoskins version of Mario, I'd recommend a viewing.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim-E @ 06/23/2004 07:17 PM EST

ive never seen it all the way through ,but now its a must,its just that bad.

Chestnuts roasted by meef @ 06/23/2004 07:21 PM EST

Notice how the small headed goombas and the small headed guy in Beetlejuice are similar?

Chestnuts roasted by Casino Royale @ 06/23/2004 07:25 PM EST

You know the "Large Mystery Women"? Well, I remember that her name is metioned in the flick. She's Big Burtha...you know, that giant fish that tried to eat Mario in SMB3? I guess the makers of the movie thought a big black women would represent a giant fish well...

Chestnuts roasted by Walks @ 06/23/2004 07:32 PM EST

Walks, you beat me to it. I wanted to say that she was Big Bertha but you beat me by 2 minutes.

One thing I want to point out, the "Evolution Guns" or whatever they were called are redressed Super Scope's, the light gun for the SNES.

Chestnuts roasted by Ace @ 06/23/2004 07:36 PM EST

The large woman in the red is Big Bertha...she's representing that huge red pirahna that follows and tries to eat mario in a few of the games...they obviously took huge liberties with that...large pirahna...7 foot 300 pound hawaiian woman that has a thing for short, fat, hairy super plumbers

Chestnuts roasted by Ant @ 06/23/2004 07:39 PM EST

Hey of course someone else already said exactly the same thing i did....maybe I should actually read the comments before I post =P

Chestnuts roasted by Ant @ 06/23/2004 07:41 PM EST

Ha Ha! This is A Film I've been waiting to see reviewed on this site! I'm going to admit, that when I was younger I loved the movie..actually I still enjoy watching it! I'm one of those people who actually LIKE the video game films (Super Mario, Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Resident Evil...and even...The Wizard!) Guess I'm just geeky in that way...what? Wanna fight about it?! So again, I thank you for reviewing this movie for those who've never seen it! (I'm as suprised as anyone commenting on this site, that there are people that HAVEN'T seen the movie...SHAME ON ALL OF YOU!)

Chestnuts roasted by Jabo @ 06/23/2004 07:42 PM EST

This ranks up there with Double Dragon as one of the most despicable nintendo-related movies.

Chestnuts roasted by Pygmalien @ 06/23/2004 07:45 PM EST

At one point in time, I liked this movie. A very stupid point.

Off topic: In 1992(?) video tapes of Ninja Turtles were given away with packs of Hi-C juice boxes. I recently found my tape. The episode is "Funny, They Shrunk Michelangelo". Anyone remember this/have the other tapes?

Chestnuts roasted by Jimmy Putty @ 06/23/2004 07:59 PM EST

I can't read it because the background is blinding me and getting my head confused

Chestnuts roasted by Emily @ 06/23/2004 08:12 PM EST

Dude, Super Mario Brothers was a hilarious movie, in the fact that it was just bad.

Hey...remember the magic mushroom that the giant pile of snot gave Mario to protect himself from the evolution gun?

Chestnuts roasted by Corey @ 06/23/2004 08:28 PM EST

Jimmy Putty. I don't remember the HI-C giveaway. However, I do recall Burger King or Hardees giving away (or possibly selling)TMNT tapes. These were rare episodes that may not have been released on tv. One tape I have featured Rat King and a hack magician/con artist. I think it was called "The Great Boldini".

Chestnuts roasted by Pygmalien @ 06/23/2004 08:30 PM EST

i love this movie! it was so bad it was good. the name of the cabs in the mushroom kingdom were wigglers, the big yellow catapilars in supe mario world!
its the lttle things that matter.

Chestnuts roasted by afroken @ 06/23/2004 08:35 PM EST

Hah, I saw that film in theaters. I hated it, because IT DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MARIO BROS. I mean, jesus.
All I really remembered was the opening cartoon, Yoshi, the goomba faces, and the scene where they jump around on stupid rocketboots.

Oh well, it was better than Street Fighter.

BTW, Bob Hoskins rocks the house, watch him try to force an abortion on a girl he's planning on killing in Felicity's Journey. Its crazy as hell.

Chestnuts roasted by Piscez @ 06/23/2004 08:37 PM EST

The big chick was meant to be the big fish? That makes her 100x better.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/23/2004 08:45 PM EST

I like the Super Mario Bros. movie.

Personally, I think the screenwriters were listening to a bit too much Devo when they wrote it, but I like it.

It's fun, it's silly, and it's really good as long as you're not expecting anything like the video game.

Chestnuts roasted by Rich @ 06/23/2004 08:47 PM EST

I sorta feel guilty now that I've never seen the movie. I avoided it at all costs with every trip to the video store for the past decade because of what I'd seen in the films trailor. The more I think about it though, I would be more disappointed now if they HAD stuck to the plot 100%. Could you imagine paying $7.50 to watch Bob Hoskins punch bricks for two hours?

Even weirder than that would be if a sequel was based on Super Mario Bros. 2. The screenwriter wouldn't be able to explain half of the convoluted crap in that game without involving Mario's quest to raid Wart's meth lab.

Chestnuts roasted by pulseczar @ 06/23/2004 08:49 PM EST

time for a useless fact! johnny L had to eat maggots off a pizza in spawn, heres the thing they were, real(posted just about diner time)
any possibility of reviewing some francis colman movies (red zone cuba comes to mind)

Chestnuts roasted by bogeyb @ 06/23/2004 08:56 PM EST

I just have one question that doesn't involve lizard-archeologists or obese women portraying fish. Do you people camp out at X-E's blog, refreshing the page every 30 seconds trying to get the first post?
I'm not trying to be dick, I just want to know why nothing constructive is said in the first five posts of any given entry on this site.

Chestnuts roasted by IncogNegro @ 06/23/2004 09:01 PM EST

Scenery-wise, the movie rules. I love the way they desperatly tried to squeeze every litte Mario reference they could think of. Like the way they designed the hallways so it would look like the koopa castle?
Im a sucker for the shameless super-scope plug in the end too...

Chestnuts roasted by Pupin @ 06/23/2004 09:11 PM EST

o i forgot not only does the movie not follow the plot of any of the games it messes up one of the names, daisy isn not the princess of the mushroom kingdom, she is the princess of saharaland from the gameboy game,peach is the princess of the MK, but in a game where all the Koopa Kids are idiots and not at all kids, i guess we can let this one slide.

Chestnuts roasted by afroken @ 06/23/2004 09:11 PM EST

There were a few other NES in-jokes I didn't mention, so if you're interested in those, def check out the flick. Nothing much...a few character names, props, sounds and whatnot.

Oh, to whomever said it above -- yes, video game flicks aren't as bad as most make 'em out to be. Well, they are, but I've always enjoyed 'em. Hell, even Double Dragon was entertaining. And I love the MK flicks. Wizard, obviously. Street Fighter...hmm, lemme watch it again and get back to you.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/23/2004 09:15 PM EST

I still haven't seen this movie yet, but now you've got me intrigued enough to go out and find it!

Chestnuts roasted by Mandie J. @ 06/23/2004 09:20 PM EST

Coleman Francis is the MAN.

Flag on the Moon. How did it get there?

Chestnuts roasted by Piscez @ 06/23/2004 09:37 PM EST

My parents rented this film when it first came out on video, and my opinion then and now generally fits Matt's. It's not anything like the actual "Mario Brothers" games...but, to its credit, it's not anything like any other movie out there, either. If you enjoy the truly strange and weird and don't mind having the song "Walk The Dinosaur" stuck in your head for days after seing it, look this movie up. As Matt mentioned, it's not nearly as bad as its reputation suggests (I actually liked Yoshi here and thought Bob Hoskins and John Leguziamo were quite good in the title roles)...just very, very odd.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 06/23/2004 09:39 PM EST

Terrible, terrible movie. I have yet to watch it the whole way through. Ranks right up there with Double Dragon with its "Oh, we're so powerful in our shitty little rhinestone covered outfits" shtick.

Chestnuts roasted by Number5 @ 06/23/2004 09:54 PM EST

Movies after video games are never that good, exception "Resident Evil" was alright for a movie. "Mario Brothers" a crappy movie.

Chestnuts roasted by Caylor @ 06/23/2004 09:56 PM EST

Here's an interesting little tidbit: Birg Bertha has a thing for Mario? In the Comics too. The Valient comics put out in 1990 and around then had several shorrt stories that evolved around Mario getting accosted by Big Bertha (who was in love with him when she thought he was a Frog in the frog suit) and Bertha's on-again-off-again boyfriend, Stanley the Talking Fish. On a weirder note... Stanley was in love with Wendy O' Koopa! O_o And the end of one story had Mario take Wendy out for drinks after they fended off the fishy couple... Odd.

Chestnuts roasted by Blaine @ 06/23/2004 09:58 PM EST

And to think, when I saw this in the theatre, people were getting up and clapping at the end of it... in retrospect, I guess they were happy that it was over.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate-o-mac @ 06/23/2004 10:10 PM EST

I've seen bits and parts of this movie...it was quite amusing. It could have been better, but how can you effectively translate a movie out of a game that consists of jumping, breaking blocks, stomping monsters, shooting fireballs and collecting coins?

I heard they were thinking of making a Metroid movie....interesting to see whoever actress playing Samus morph into a little ball...

Chestnuts roasted by The Dragon @ 06/23/2004 10:19 PM EST

Matt-I'm surprised I never suggested that you do a review of this movie before. Good work.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 06/23/2004 10:20 PM EST

I recently got the DVD for that movie, but only 'cause it was the cheapest Nintendo-themed DVD in the store. I would've bought one of the "Pokemon: Adventures in the Orange Islands" DVDs, but I'm thinking maybe there are cheaper prices for DVDs with 12 episodes on them. (At least that's better than wasting $15 on only 3 episodes!) I'm personally hoping they'll give "The Wizard" a special-edition DVD release.
BTW, Blaine had a point about the comic book character Big Bertha seems to be based upon. She appeared in two stories, "Love Flounders" and "Fins and Roses", both of which were reprinted in "The Best of the Super Mario Bros."

Chestnuts roasted by Kacy @ 06/23/2004 10:21 PM EST

Haven't seen this movie in quite a while. I had (and may still have) the storybook that went along with it. Yeah. Moving on, I guess if I looked at it with new eyes I could forgive the bad taste it left in my mouth.

But there is no forgiving Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within.

Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 06/23/2004 10:31 PM EST

Matt, when you said you expected Seymore to pop out of a sewer, did you actually mean Audrey II? Were you possibly making a Little Shop of Horrors ref? I think someone needs to watch Little Shop again and do a review... And if the fates were in my favor you'd also watch the original one from 1960, Directed by the god that is Roger Corman, and maybe you could compare Jack Nickolson's Dental Patient to Bill Murry's... but then I may be asking for too much.

Chestnuts roasted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 06/23/2004 10:42 PM EST

Almost bought the original LSOH today. Never saw it. Thoughts?

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/23/2004 10:44 PM EST

I don't know if anyone else posted this but I thought you would like to know... if you read these that is. The "Big Mystery Woman" is in face the loveable Big Bertha. Just thought you'd like to know. <3

Chestnuts roasted by q @ 06/23/2004 10:53 PM EST

i saw that movie alot(sad to say)but it's so bad that it's good. did anyone notice the product placement reebok did for that movie? on the scene were the bob-omb is walking upside down and is underneath koopa, if you look on the bottom of the bob-ombs shoes you can see reebok on them. did you see that one matt?

Chestnuts roasted by Westside_Paintballa @ 06/23/2004 11:16 PM EST

Wasn't one of the crimales that got de-evoled named Toad???

Chestnuts roasted by Death Drop @ 06/23/2004 11:32 PM EST

The origonal LSOH is a fairly weird little number. It's easy to consume though, pretty short.

Chestnuts roasted by Grey Weirdo @ 06/23/2004 11:49 PM EST

Were Captain Lou Albano and that other guy to busy to do this? They look a heck of a lot more like the characters than Bob and John.

Am I the only one that thinks that the Goomba's look scarier than any of the Ghoulies?

The 1986 musical LSOH is one of my favortie films of all time. I even bought the soundtrack. HBO seems to be playing it alot lately. It's awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 06/24/2004 12:06 AM EST

you should look up mojo nixon...he played the character named "toad" (if my memory serves properly; or at least the guy in the cage with the harmonica...).
if that doesn't scream cult classic, nothing else does.

p.s. mojo nixon was immortalized in the dead milkmen song "punk rock girl"

Chestnuts roasted by Ryan @ 06/24/2004 12:30 AM EST

I distinctly remember seeing this movie in the theater and thinking it was cool, and wondering why everyone ragged on it so bad. It's pretty clear now.

I know for a fact we talked about the LSOH original here in the blog, not that long ago. I think it was when you were out of town, but Google yields no results. If you're a big enough fan of the musical version and Nicholson to sit through some pretty dry parts, it's worth watching. There's a pretty good payoff at the end, too.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/24/2004 01:00 AM EST

I actually relly liked the flic. I liked it that they made it darker. Geez as much as you can't honestly identify it as "creative freedom" they certainly were being creative. I think games should be made into darker themed movies more often.

Chestnuts roasted by Zee Kay @ 06/24/2004 01:16 AM EST

you people that liked this movie sicken and disgust me. In all fairness I never saw it.

Chestnuts roasted by czvbzvb @ 06/24/2004 01:21 AM EST

"Little Shop of Horrors" (1960) was shot in a record two days and a night by the great Roger Corman ( www.imdb.com/name/nm0000339/ ). Those only aware of his 1970's productions should definately seek out his earlier Edgar Allan Poe films with Vincent Price. He also gave a lot of the top directors their first break.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/24/2004 01:48 AM EST

good review.

Chestnuts roasted by piemanmoo @ 06/24/2004 02:10 AM EST

I got this movie for five bucks at Best Buy! It's so bad, its good!

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 06/24/2004 02:11 AM EST

I don't care what anybody says, I liked this movie. If it was what everybody thought it should be, it would've been just a big animatronic (Or if made today, CG) puppet show of a saturday morning cartoon with nothing new/of interest that would have been compeletely unwatchable to the general non-gaming public. I say they did the best they could with what they had. I'd imagine a real-life area under Bowser/Koopa's rule would look something like that, and the subtle refferences to the games were a lot more fun than blatant ones.
afroken: Keep in mind though, Peach didn't didn't have a real name in the U.S. 'till Mario 64, and what kind of name is "Peach" for a seemingly normal person anyway? Plus, more recently, Daisy is more considered to be "Luigi's girl" nowadays so it kinda worked out.

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 06/24/2004 02:46 AM EST

Large Mystery Woman is NAMED "Big Bertha"

Chestnuts roasted by Orlando @ 06/24/2004 02:47 AM EST

What we really need now is a movie called Pro Wrestling Vs. Castlevania. Could you imagine Giant Panther vs. Medusa Head or the Amazon vs. Frankenstein and "Igor"? With absolutely NO computer graphics? I would only allow puppets and miniatures as special effects. It would have to include Dolph Lundgren and Louis Gossett Jr. somehow. I know you people agree with me....

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 06/24/2004 03:01 AM EST

Hey Matt, great article and all! Speaking of bad view, I was wondering, are you ever going to review an old view called "Mr. T Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool"? I finally got a copy (downloaded it), it is hilarious and deserving of the Matt Cara treatment.

Chestnuts roasted by Destro @ 06/24/2004 03:25 AM EST

I love this movie! Its so action packed and funny! Two thumbs up! Truely misunderstood!

Chestnuts roasted by Izlude @ 06/24/2004 03:43 AM EST

No no no no no no no no. NO. First movie I ever hated, have vivid memories of it, wish it had never existed. Wish Nintendo cereal still did.

Chestnuts roasted by Abob Lyndsae @ 06/24/2004 03:44 AM EST

This movie was a stupid pile of crap. Why can't mario and luigi be pirates called Mar-fuck you up and Lu- fuck you

Chestnuts roasted by Maddox @ 06/24/2004 03:55 AM EST

Wow, Maddox is complaining about something? THAT must be a sign of the apocolypse.

Chestnuts roasted by IncogNegro @ 06/24/2004 04:06 AM EST

that review was right on. i always loved the smb movie because of the weird ass direction they took it. it was genius to bring in the beautifully detailed blade runner-esque sets (an abandoned cement factory was used according to a promotional "magazine"/activity book i have), and friggin' frank from blue velvet as bowser. street fighter on the other hand was the stereotypical bad video game movie.

Chestnuts roasted by 2000lb uzi @ 06/24/2004 04:17 AM EST

Nintendo
Its for Breakfast Now!
Nintendo
Super Mario, WOW!
Ninentdo
something something balanced breakfast etc.

Is that anywhere on this site? I'm suprised I haven't seen it.

Chestnuts roasted by Piscez @ 06/24/2004 04:20 AM EST

Destro, Matt mentioned the video:
http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/250.html
Fan site with audio: http://www.inzenity.com/mrt/

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/24/2004 04:34 AM EST

I've been meaning to watch the SMB movie for ages (hey! It took me until last year to see Pulp Fiction) but now I hear "Walk the Dino" is played in it! OMF! Was (not Was) is an awsome band! I totally gotta see this now ^_^!

Chestnuts roasted by JasonA @ 06/24/2004 04:37 AM EST

I dunno what it is about Mario, but when ever I play it, any version, I go into fits of rage when I die. Mostly, I think, it's the original version coming back to haunt me, y'know when you stop running but the little eff wad skids. Holy crap I hate that. And no matter what version you play theirs that little dity that places when you die that if it had words it would say "OH! eff you, you died, looooooser"

Chestnuts roasted by Former A1C Pete @ 06/24/2004 08:39 AM EST

Yes, Large Mystery Woman was based on a large fish in Super Mario Bros. 3. Her name? Big Bertha. I think it's mentioned either in the credits or in the movie.

I wouldn't lie to you, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Billy T @ 06/24/2004 08:52 AM EST

Wow. I love the way the comments go in circles like this. Every 7 posts or so, somebody feels the need to mention the identity of the big fish woman.

Chestnuts roasted by Darc_humor @ 06/24/2004 09:03 AM EST

And after reading this review, I feel an insane desire to go rent Double Dragon and Street Fighter, two movies I could have died happy without seeing, because of this review. Dammit. Oh well, it's worth it to see this gem finally get some recognition.

Chestnuts roasted by Darc_humor @ 06/24/2004 09:09 AM EST

I think the real reason this film bombed wasn't the low budget, extremely bad script, or extremely badder casting choices, but the fact that Bob Hoskins didn't do "The Mario" at the end. Sure, nobody'll do it better than Capt. Lou Albano, but I know I would have seen this in theatres had I known that Bob would be swinging his arms from side to side on the big screen as the credits rolled. Now that would have been just pure cinema magic.

Chestnuts roasted by cheaptrick @ 06/24/2004 09:14 AM EST

Princess Daisy just played Susan in the new version of "'Salem's Lot" the other night. coincidence? yes.

the SMB movie just felt all wrong. couldn't have been much worse.

Chestnuts roasted by zann @ 06/24/2004 09:23 AM EST

It's about time X-E reveiwed this movie, although i'm suprised I-Mockery didn't beat you to it. I remember watching this with my cousin Peter, who was a bit of a nintendo freak back-in-tha-day. I don't remember much; i didn't watch it right to the end, but I do remember a few sketchy details.

Crap movie, good game, that's all I have to say.

Chestnuts roasted by G. Tubman @ 06/24/2004 09:26 AM EST

The name Big Bertha has probably been mentioned enough times to show up on Google now. I wish the mystery woman's name was Big "Schjimi". That would have been much cooler.

Chestnuts roasted by Blah...blah @ 06/24/2004 09:31 AM EST

I found this movie on VHS at my local flea market for $1. Since then I have worn out the tape from so many viewings. Excellently horrible.
Best lines from Hopper? ::shouting:: "PLUMBERS!!!!" and ::whispering:: "Bob-omb...."

Chestnuts roasted by BaronVonHotPants @ 06/24/2004 09:44 AM EST

You had to skip out on the Eric Idle sub-plot, eh? WHY? Eric Idle is the whole reason to watch this movie!

Well, besides Samantha Mathis. I think she is adorable. There is just something about her that makes me feel funny inside. I think she won me over from her role in Pump Up the Volume.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 06/24/2004 09:49 AM EST

The super mario t.v. show and the movie crushed my spirits as a child. I have not been the same since the zelda cartoon. "well excuuuuuuse me princess"
blech.

Chestnuts roasted by zombone @ 06/24/2004 09:52 AM EST

Yeah! Boo-ya! In your face! Read it and weep: FIRST POST.

Chestnuts roasted by Russ @ 06/24/2004 10:02 AM EST

Hey, you know Large Mystery Woman? Yeah, her name in the movie was Birdo! HA HA HA HA! No, but seriously, read the previous posts before posting.

Honestly, Birdo was the best enemy in Mario Brothers history. A gender-bending, cross-dressing dinobird rawks.

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 06/24/2004 10:14 AM EST

8' lizard warriors with tiny heads? Isn't that a Doors song?

Chestnuts roasted by Sweetie @ 06/24/2004 10:21 AM EST

I wondered when you were going to review this movie!

Sadly, I've always strangely liked it. Maybe I just have a thing for the Princess.

Chestnuts roasted by Rosella @ 06/24/2004 10:36 AM EST

An X-E review for this movie was long overdue. It's about time.

BTW the Bob-omb and Yoshi were pretty much this film's redeeming factors for me. Only movie where a decent re-imagining of Yoshi bites a Yoshi-abusive Dennis Hopper and a Bob-omb wears Reeboks (I'm not kidding! Look closely near the end of the movie!).

Chestnuts roasted by Teirusu @ 06/24/2004 10:44 AM EST

I remeber the first time I watched this, I just sat there with my mouth open in a big O and tried not to cry when I realized how screwed up it was, the same face I made when I saw Masters of the Universe.

Chestnuts roasted by Brite @ 06/24/2004 10:44 AM EST

I just bought this DVD two weeks ago at Best Buy for $5. I stayed up late with a twelve pack of beer and decided to watch it drunk to see if it was any cooler. I passed out twenty minutes into it. My wife found me sleeping on the couch, beer in one hand, and DVD case on my chest. She didn't care that I got drunk. She was pissed that I spent that much on such a crappy movie.

Chestnuts roasted by Hypnotix @ 06/24/2004 10:50 AM EST

Oh man, great article... wait. Those look like DVD caps. The Mario Movie is on DVD??

Wait! And the Wizard isn't? What the hell?!

Toad was in the movie, too. Well, a character coincidentally named Toad was in the movie, played by punk rock's Mojo Nixon with a bad haircut.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike Fireball @ 06/24/2004 10:53 AM EST

Yep, this was a DVD -- a 5.99 DVD at that. If anyone wants it and is having trouble locating it at the super bargain rate, shoot me an e-mail and I'll try to pick it up.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/24/2004 10:55 AM EST

I saw this in theatres when I was 10.

I honestly was walking out of the theatre with my friend and we were excited for the sequel. Sam theing for Mortal Kombat. But I've learned my lesson. The closest thing to a videogame movie I come now is when I make my Goombah tatto do a dance.....

Chestnuts roasted by Selvig @ 06/24/2004 11:06 AM EST

This was waaay up there on my top ten movie list when I was growing up. I bought the tape for $3 at a used video store and I wore it out by watching it so much.

Years later, I popped it in and watched it with my wife. The Mario Bros. Movie has not aged gracefully at all. I felt bad that I made her sit through the whole thing.

Chestnuts roasted by Chiablo @ 06/24/2004 11:09 AM EST

Well Matt, I finally recieved my "prize" from UGO and it only took 7 months! My prize was supposed to be a Samsonite backpack filled with the latest DVD's and Video Games. Know what I got? ...well...I got the Samsonite Backpack like the contest said. As for the "lastest DVD's and Video Games" I got a spiderman video game.....freakin strategy guide, not the game, just the damn guide. Oh oh, almost forgot, they sent me a CD of Pete Yorn too! WHO IN THE HELL IS PETE YORN?! Wow, this was so worth the 7 month wait!

Chestnuts roasted by Bizzar @ 06/24/2004 11:52 AM EST

Ugh, that sucks Biz.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/24/2004 11:56 AM EST

Whoo-Hah! One of my favorite moments is how the cabs never stop for anybody, even having skeletons (Dry Bones?) on the grills, but everyone panics when they see the tiny little Bob-ombs. And the fact that Frank Black from Millenium plays the king at the end of the movie. Goom Goom, Akalakka Goom!
The Jean-Claude Street Fighter sucks! Buy or rent the Anime instead.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/24/2004 11:59 AM EST

Yeah, I thought so too, I'm a bit bitter.

Chestnuts roasted by Bizzar @ 06/24/2004 12:00 PM EST

Yeah, with the build for that last Bob-omb, I was expecting the explosion to end all explosions. But it just kinda knocked Koopa into a basket. Everyone was acting like it was an atom bomb. Oh well, at least it's the most adorable bomb I've seen.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/24/2004 12:00 PM EST

>>>>USELESS MOVIE NOTE!>>>USELESS MOVIE NOTE<<<<

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 06/24/2004 12:06 PM EST

.......wtf did it do to my post...

please delete that above, Anyways...

In the scene where you can see under the bob-omb where it's on a grate and you can see it's feet, pause, and look close, It has a piece of a nike logo on the bottem of it's foot. I swear to god I remember seeing this, The bob omb's feet are made out of shoebox cardboard.

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 06/24/2004 12:08 PM EST

I don't care what anyone says. I love this movie and will always love it. When it came out in theaters in 93 I saw it like 4 times. The one thing I really like and still like is them damn police cars. THERE SO COOL! I wish they made a toy of them. I watch that damn police car chase over and over whenever I watch my DVD copy. Also if any of you don't know they're are action figures of some of the characters from the Mario Brothers movie. Look on ebay they might have em there.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike @ 06/24/2004 01:09 PM EST

I did see this in the theater. And it's the elevator scene that made it for me. I enjoyed it... not in the way one enjoys a really good movie, but in the way one enjoys a really bad movie, therefore making it "good". It was entertaining, at least.

Chestnuts roasted by Orin @ 06/24/2004 01:25 PM EST

Heh, the B's in the Bullet Bill's sign are little Bullet Bills. Also, I acn't beleive no one realised that the King as a pile of slime was a reference to all that crap the kings were turned into in SMB3.

Also, the Japanese made their own Mario movie in '86. Not much is known about it other than the actors, that it was approx. 60 minutes, and it was animated. Still, it would be neat for someone to try to find it and get a review up. Don't worry, the Japanese got a translation of our movie, too.

"Trust the Fungus."

Chestnuts roasted by Eric @ 06/24/2004 01:40 PM EST

Matt, if you like Dennis Hopper, review Neil Young's HUMAN HIGHWAY.

THE epitome of B-Grade Cult Film.

Only the most devoted of fans of the stars in the movie or of cult classic films know of its existence: Help Out and REVIEW the movie! (hell, half.com has it for like $5 right now...)

Chestnuts roasted by Orgg @ 06/24/2004 01:52 PM EST

Wow Matt, I never realized how much variety the Mushroom Kingdom had for various lifestyles. Are my eyes fooling me, or does that big red neon sign in your Mushroom Kingdom pic read "Rawbar Gay?"

Chestnuts roasted by Hypnotix @ 06/24/2004 01:55 PM EST

I happened to see the movie, well actually I was forced to watch it because I had to take my 4 year old cusion to the worse movie from hell!!!

Chestnuts roasted by lava master @ 06/24/2004 02:02 PM EST

Looks like "Rawbar Gay" to me, too.

Chestnuts roasted by Rosella @ 06/24/2004 02:15 PM EST

I haven't seen this movie in a while, but here is one fact from the movie that I remember that no one else posted:

The "pogo boots" were powered by Bullet Bills (albeit little ones)

also Matt, you should consider reviewing UHF, the movie that Weird Al Yankovic made. I think it was awesome, but to others..."ugh"

Its on DVD, and its really easy to find.

Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 06/24/2004 02:31 PM EST

I'm pretty sure the Rawbar sign says eat and not gay.

Chestnuts roasted by lain @ 06/24/2004 03:07 PM EST

The Boots were called "Stompers" in the film. Might have been the Karubi Boot from SMB3. Who wouldn't want to drive around town in a wind-up shoe?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/24/2004 03:08 PM EST

I still have mucho respect for Dennis Hopper, but if Bowser, King of the Koopas is portayed in a movie, he fucking better be spitting fire and throwing hammers.

Chestnuts roasted by IncogNegro @ 06/24/2004 03:28 PM EST

hollywood did a good job, but if the movie was produced in japan it would be wow, wow, it would have been wowzers

Chestnuts roasted by danny j @ 06/24/2004 04:14 PM EST

Now, can we get to the more important issue at hand. To be more specific, the chia plot.

Chestnuts roasted by Guy Incognito @ 06/24/2004 04:42 PM EST

I liked the movie. Even when I was little. What can I say? I was easily pleased. It wasn't perfect, BUT IT WAS STILL MARIO IN THE FLESH! This was duting my mega mario phase so nearly anything Mario impressed me.
BTW, I want more of the Chia Plot too!
CHIA PLOT!

Chestnuts roasted by The Dragonrider @ 06/24/2004 04:59 PM EST

I like this movie as a guilty pleasure type of movie. I also like how wacky it is. It is like videogame acid trip. Things about the movie I like/noticed that the review may have not.

The big black sexy woman was Big Bertha the red phirana from the games.

Toad made a cameo as a prisoner who played music and had a weird yet cool haircut.

The shoes that Mario and Luigi use to escape were based on thwomps. Those brick like creatures that would drop from the cieling in the games.

The gun used was indeed a remodled super scope from the snes days.

The wall design in the Koopa tower was the only semi-game inspired design. The walls had a traingle patern found in super mario bros 3 and beyond.

Towards the end of the movie Koopa is in a ball thing suspended by wires, this is supose to represent the flying clown ball he used in the snes version of the game.

Those are only a few of the vg cameos in the movie I could think of right now, but damn'd if John L. and Bob H. didn't try to mold that pos movie into a gem. I probably would not stand the movie at all if they did not seem like they could in fact be the mario bros.

P.s. Walking the dinosuar is not stuck in my head again.

Chestnuts roasted by Moobyghost @ 06/24/2004 05:14 PM EST

I saw this in the theatres, my dad took me, to tide me over until the next week, when Jurassic Park came out. I remember liking the film's general weirdness, and the fact that it wasn't played as a big comedy. Come on, guys. You can't play both sides of the fence. You can't "love" the Mario TV show because it was so ironically bad, and hate the movie because it has loopy logic. It's BASED ON A VIDEO GAME ABOUT A LEAPING PLUMBER FOR GOD'S SAKE. There.

Chestnuts roasted by Zagnut @ 06/24/2004 05:16 PM EST

While we are all talking about Denis Hopper has anyone seen space truckers? that is a movie to be reviewed by this and only this site. I love that movie in a I love B movies type of way.

Chestnuts roasted by Moobyghost @ 06/24/2004 05:18 PM EST

Norbert-I loved UHF, and still do. Sure, it's stupid, and it didn't get much attention, but I thought it was hilarious.

Eric-So there WAS a Mario anime. Hmmm...I guess I should make an effort to find it somehow. I have a way finding obscure crap like this.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 06/24/2004 05:30 PM EST

Almost as good a movie as the one that starred Fred Savage and the damned powerglove!

NO CHIA PLOT!
~Let down and hangin' around.
Crushed like a bug in a rug.

Chestnuts roasted by Mugzy. . . @ 06/24/2004 06:08 PM EST

Damn the producers of this movie, damn their black hearts! I begged my parents to take me to this movie when it came out. After sitting through it and waiting for ,you know, something cool we left the theater with my parents vowing never to give in to my idiotic movie choices again.

Chestnuts roasted by Kasey @ 06/24/2004 06:16 PM EST

yea scatterbrained review for the scatterbrained movie nice touch

anywyas i think it was pretty decent for a bad movie it could have been worse though...

that being said imma go watch the super mario bros super show and the zelda cartoon on yahoo tv

Chestnuts roasted by Drphilisdadevil @ 06/24/2004 06:21 PM EST

The people who make these movies and TV shows are idiots. Look at the Megaman TV show...there is more than enough material in the 101 megaman games to have a show that is solely about a robot kid with a gun arm and his various hangers-on, sidekicks, competitors, and enemies. BUT NO! We get a stupid show about some kid nobody gives a rat's ass about who fights stuff vicariously through a computer.

[I realize that only has a cursory relationship to the topic at hand, but I really needed to get that off my chest]

!!!!!MARK HAMILL #1 YANKEE COMMANDO FORCE DEPLOY!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Cannibalizer @ 06/24/2004 06:48 PM EST

There was a classic megaman cartoon hell megaman x even did a cameo in it the current cartoon is basedo n the series called megaman battle network up to the fourth game now for gameboy

Chestnuts roasted by Drphilisdadevil @ 06/24/2004 07:10 PM EST

The most vivid memory I have of this movie is Luigi constantly telling Mario to "Trust the fungus." I guess a drippy column of snot never steered them wrong before.

Shit, I may be the first person to ever type that sentence.

Now I think about it, how come there's never been a Legend of Zelda full length film? Unlike most video game movies, THAT one could really work! Man, that would be tits.

But not nearly as tits as a review for "Flight of the Navigator". LOL SWERVE!!!

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 06/24/2004 07:15 PM EST

I used to watch this movie and...(sigh)...actually find Luigi attractive
I remember wishing that I was the princess so he would ask me :
"Don't chu know I wanna be wit chu?".
Don't cry for me...I'm already dead

Chestnuts roasted by Kristal @ 06/24/2004 07:19 PM EST

I hate to say it, but at one time I found Koopa a little, uh, sexy?
Sure, I was in middle school the last time I saw the movie. Those pre-teen years were akward for me. Yeah.

Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 06/24/2004 07:26 PM EST

No matter how badly it turned out, it is a movie based on a classic video game, and so it is fantastic. And it is still better than Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat combined.

Chestnuts roasted by Khaos Destrukticon @ 06/24/2004 07:32 PM EST

Here's one of the best sources of information on the Super Mario Brothers anime:

Marion Anime

Haven't found a copy yet, but as an avid Nintendo collector, I will not rest until it is in my VCR.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 06/24/2004 08:51 PM EST

ooops, what I mean to say was "Mario Anime" Here's the link again:

Mario Anime

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 06/24/2004 08:53 PM EST

has anyone else notice that certain boxes of cheerios cereal contains a dvd with an episode of the heathcliff cartoon and and a mario cartoon? i dont know if its from Super Mario Bros. Super Show or if its from the one based on smb3or something completely different. my store i work at didnt have any or i would have bought it. also i think the name of the episdoe is "Sneaky Lying Cheating Giant Ninja Koopas"

Chestnuts roasted by valon @ 06/24/2004 08:59 PM EST

Destro- where did you download the mr t video from?

i saw this movie too. i was a bit dissappointed that it didn't have very much to do with the games... a good review, though :o)

Chestnuts roasted by Rachel Cakes @ 06/24/2004 09:08 PM EST

The day we don't mention the Chia plot is the day the update will be posted. Mark my words. It's like going out to eat and leaving the table to go to the bathroom to get your food served quicker. It's ironic - just ask Dave Coulier.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 06/24/2004 09:11 PM EST

oh yeah, and lol @ Kristal and AngeFaitore

Chestnuts roasted by Rachel Cakes @ 06/24/2004 09:13 PM EST

My Japanese housemate pointed out to me that goombas are in fact CHESTNUTS not mushrooms as I have always though, and in the Japanese version of the games they are called the Japanese word for chestnut, and not GOOMBAS

If you search for a chestnut or image of a chestnut you can see that they are definitely chestnut shaped.

Chestnuts roasted by Gibbon @ 06/24/2004 09:26 PM EST

I have the poster from this movie on my wall. What does that say about me?

Chestnuts roasted by Tougi @ 06/24/2004 10:27 PM EST

"IT'S KOOPA'S TOWER!"

Chestnuts roasted by NrgSpoon @ 06/24/2004 11:52 PM EST

Y'know, I'm now recalling my Super Mario Brothers Lunch Box. Man I loved it. It had kickass pics on it and a kickass thermos. But one day, I accidentally left it outside on the schoolyard, and my mom and I were just about to go back and get it. Well, we got to the place where it was, and it was still there, but just then this fuckhead comes along and kicks the shit out of it, completely destroying it. My mother took him to the office immediately and he was busted like hell. His mother said she would pay for a new one, but she never did. Stupid bitch, gimme my Mario lunchbox. And stupid bastard, I swear I'm gonna hunt you down, make you log onto eBay, and make you find and purchase me a new one.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 06/25/2004 12:02 AM EST

Anyone notice in the first SMB cartoon, King Koopa looked more like Wart from SMB2? Watch the original and then SMB3/SMW and see.

I guess a worse movie would be a live action Legend of Zelda...with the dude from the old commercial as Link: "ZELDA!! Which. Way. To. Go. T-T-T-TEKTITES!!"

Chestnuts roasted by The Dragon @ 06/25/2004 12:12 AM EST

I was one of the few people who saw this in the theaters! I remember liking it, but I was really young. Thanks for the review!

Chestnuts roasted by Anna @ 06/25/2004 12:16 AM EST

I went to the theatre to see this classic film 3 times, and just watched it again for the first time in years, and no i realize, i was such an idiot then, maybe still am though, because after i watch that again, i watch Little Monsters.

Chestnuts roasted by B-Prime @ 06/25/2004 12:24 AM EST

Pop quiz hotshot.... You've just spent ten minutes rekindling old memories of a horrifying film that marked the end of the Mario Brothers as we knew it. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?

Go watch the Super Mario Bros. Super Show and after you're through with that, SPEED.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 06/25/2004 01:28 AM EST

yes bullet bill made an apperance in the movie.
ron jeremy would've been a dead on mario for the movie. but he did a porno version of it. too bad because i think it would've made the movie better or something.

Chestnuts roasted by Westside_Paintballa @ 06/25/2004 01:54 AM EST

Hey Matt-

I went to China in the summer I got out of Eighth grade. In a marketplace there, we were offered real -- and I swear I'M not kidding -- lizzard on a stick.

Chestnuts roasted by Darthmuppet @ 06/25/2004 02:45 AM EST

A Zelda movie would never work...
If the unveiling of Wind Waker taught us anything, it's that the more rabid Zelda fans are some of the bitchiest people on the planet.
"Playing a game that looks like a cartoon would make me childish! *piss, moan, cry, whine*"

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 06/25/2004 03:09 AM EST

First off, Westside_Paintballa , What's this about a porno Mario Movie?

I LOVED this movie and still do, but I agree with Matt that it would have done better without the Mario connection. (How many of you who hate this movie only hate it because it's not like the games?), The concept was cool on it's own anyway. But, then again we wouldn't have these cool in-jokes from the games (Like Iggy and Spike meeting the game developers after the credits), and I wouldn't have ever seen it in the theaters. Like Iggy and Spike meeting the game developers after the credits.

Now I'm conflicted.

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 06/25/2004 03:19 AM EST

First off, Westside_Paintballa , What's this about a porno Mario Movie?

I LOVED this movie and still do, but I agree with Matt that it would have done better without the Mario connection. (How many of you who hate this movie only hate it because it's not like the games?), The concept was cool on it's own anyway. But, then again we wouldn't have these cool in-jokes from the games (Like Iggy and Spike meeting the game developers after the credits), and I wouldn't have ever seen it in the theaters.

Now I'm conflicted.

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 06/25/2004 03:19 AM EST

A Zelda movie would be fun, but I think it would need to be based on Ocarina of Time to really work. That just has the most movie-friendly storyline, I think. It made it to a manga OK, at least! (It and the Majora's Mask mangas are kind of funny in a way, because there seems to be a slightly abnormal amoun of swearing in them. Heheheheh.)

Me? I always liked this movie. It's surreal, but it's fun! And it is quite lovely to look at. It may not be very Mario-like, but it's fun, at the very least!

Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 06/25/2004 03:29 AM EST

Addendum: I'm a diehard Zelda fan, and I LIKED Wind Waker's cartoony look. But I also really like the realistic look of the upcoming Zelda GCN title. Fooled my sister into thinking the trailer for the game was a traile for a Zelda movie, heheheh. >

Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 06/25/2004 03:44 AM EST

i have a quick kick gi joe halfway up my tailpipe right now...and it's kicking

Chestnuts roasted by quick kick @ 06/25/2004 04:08 AM EST

Great review, I'm sure I've seen this before. Just can't remember much. For Nintendo movies, I'd have to say 'Mortal Kombat' was a great video game movie.

Chestnuts roasted by G4L @ 06/25/2004 05:16 AM EST

I always liked the fact that the Bob-omb was wearing reebok shoes.

Chestnuts roasted by Bogo @ 06/25/2004 05:54 AM EST

I loved that movie

Chestnuts roasted by Liam @ 06/25/2004 06:25 AM EST

I know for a while a "Duke Nukem" movie was planned. I think Howie Long would have been great for the title role.

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 06/25/2004 06:27 AM EST

There was one thing that keeps this movie lingering in the back of my mind(other than the fact that it is based on the two most iconic video game-plumber-brothers ever)....it would be the "super jump(?)" boots.

I still want a pair so I could crush all the schmucks in their New Rocks.
Id instantly toss out the Doc s for a pair of those badass, huge-5y80rc0n1c, goomba-skull-crushing(the goombas in this movie would have had to have skulls as they appear to actually have a solid skeletal structure)jump-boots.

Hmm....*MS_Paints boots onto picture of self.*

Chestnuts roasted by green welts @ 06/25/2004 06:30 AM EST

Great article for a crappy movie. Hey, it was better than most video game movies, though.

Oh, and guys, for the record, Big Bertha never tried to eat Mario. That was Boss Bass. Big Bertha is the one who spit the little fishies at Mario. >

Chestnuts roasted by Hollywood Narrator @ 06/25/2004 08:08 AM EST

Let's end the insanity and create a live action/animated Sonic The Hedgehog movie. The now 300 lb. Jeffrey Jones can play Robotnik. Thomas Haden Church can play the Space Jam-esqe Michael Jordan to Sonic's Bugs Bunny and save Mobius side by side. The movie can include every Sonic secondary character from every Sonic universe, yes, SatAM, SEGASonic, Sonic X, ect.

Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 06/25/2004 08:31 AM EST

Whoops. Eric Idle was the king in Mom and Dad save the world. My mistake.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 06/25/2004 09:01 AM EST

Now imagine my horror when I realized that this movie still has 700% more to do with what it's supposed to be than the upcoming "Catwoman"....

Chestnuts roasted by Creature SH @ 06/25/2004 09:40 AM EST

I actually saw this in theaters. Despite it's qustionable quality in retrospect I remeber having a ball as a 6 year old.

Either way I don't think the depature from Mario lore could be avoided. Video games were still very abstract at the time and Mario having one of the most abstract of plot lines really needed alot of stuff added in.

Now that we live in an age of games such as Max Payne , where the storyline could be adapted like any play or Novel. It's possible to stay loyal to the source material and make a decent film.

This is probably for better or for worse the best way you could have translated Mario to screen.

Chestnuts roasted by Combat_Mike @ 06/25/2004 09:46 AM EST

The only thing I can remember from this movie is that stupid dinosaur song. "open the door get on the floor everybody do the dinosaur!"

Chestnuts roasted by basf @ 06/25/2004 10:50 AM EST

Even I heard of the Ron Jeremy movie, "Super Hornio Bros." and I live under a rock. When I first heard of the SMB movie, the rumor had Danny DeVito as Mario. I need to find one of those plastic candy toys shaped like a Bob-omb.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/25/2004 11:42 AM EST

Goombas should be Italian shaped.

My daughter loves Super Mario Sunshine. See, that they could make a decent movie out of. There's kidnapping. Suspense. Shock! Humor. Action. Chase scenes. And, an actual plot. Although, I never would have guessed that Peach and Koopa were an item.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 06/25/2004 11:56 AM EST

Speaking of Danny DeVito and Goombas, has anyone seen The Ratings Game? It was DeVito's directorial debut, and one of the Italian themed shows his character puts on is an animated show called Goombas. www.imdb.com/title/tt0087979/
www.dvdlaser.com/search/detail.cfm?id=18330
"Danny DeVito directed Ratings Game for cable television before he went on to more successful endeavors. He also stars with wife Rhea Perlman. The film is about a successful trucker from New Jersey who becomes the producer and star of the nation's number one television show by locating and kidnapping the two hundred or so sample families who have rating meters on their television sets. Hysterical premise, right? The picture is unharmed by wear. DeVito sings 'Volare,' wins the 'TV Digest Popularity Award,' and goes to prison."

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/25/2004 01:02 PM EST

Valon, I was just at Biggs yesterday and saw the Super Mario Bros. DVD on the boxes of Cheerios. Having just read this article, seeing half the movie, and having fond memories of the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, I had to pick that mother up. I told my wife I needed to eat healthier so I bought it. Of course I bought it strictly for the DVD.

I haven't watched it yet. As soon as I find out what is on it, I'll report back.

Chestnuts roasted by Hypnotix @ 06/25/2004 01:17 PM EST

Huh... nobody's thought about the SMB movie in about 10 years, and now in the same week it's reviewed by both Matt and the Mutant Reviewers From Hell. (Where -- shameless plug -- I just became one of two new reviewers, so go check it out!) Talk about synchronicity. Is there something in the water?

Chestnuts roasted by The Lucky One @ 06/25/2004 01:40 PM EST

yes, there is somthing in the water. Trust the fungus.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/25/2004 02:30 PM EST

I worked at a movie theater in 1993 when this was supposed to be the big Memorial Day weekend release...

My fondest memory was the first night, a 1,000 seat theater, full staff, and about 20 people showed up for the 7ish show.

The rest of the weekend was the same. NOBODY came to see it.

Leguizamo has been quoted back and forth about this film, and how horrible it was to make it. The cast apparently turned to drinking games to pass the time, and to dull the pain. Hilarious!

Chestnuts roasted by Todd Leroy Cummings @ 06/25/2004 02:50 PM EST

this has nothing to do with the toppic i jsut ned to complain about this stupid blue cross blue sheild comercial about the dumb ass kid who gets his braces caught in the mini blinds and they call the fire department and an ambulance to get him free and use giant wire cutters to do it for the love of god man its mini blinds just cut them off with scissors and how the hell do you get braces caught in blinds anyway ah i feel better now and im sure noone will read this anyway considering how far down the page my comment is

Chestnuts roasted by twinkie @ 06/25/2004 02:59 PM EST

I understand that the internet is here to give a voice to those who normally wouldn't have a place to air their opinions, but does EVERYBODY have to give theirs? Not to pick on poor twinkie here, but PUNCTUATION IS YOUR FRIEND. Also, don't be afraid to read what you've written to check for typos. Christ.

Chestnuts roasted by Chocoholic @ 06/25/2004 04:13 PM EST

I blame the public schools.

Chestnuts roasted by pulseczar @ 06/25/2004 04:15 PM EST

yes the porno mario bros. is called Super Hornio Brothers if you wanted to know Tetsu Deinonychus. kinglash beat me to it. They were both made around the same time from imdb.com shows.

Chestnuts roasted by Westside_Paintballa @ 06/25/2004 04:21 PM EST

This is just me, but I'd prefer King Koopa's political figure sort of role in the movie than writing
him as some kind of reptile thing, principally because if they tried to model him more closely after his video-game counterpart, we'd end up with more crappy CGI effects-- something this movie doesn't need.

Properly done, his movie version could also work in video games.

Mostly I'd just want to see those neat "Vote Koopa" signs in backgrounds.

Chestnuts roasted by Master Don't-You-Mind-Me @ 06/25/2004 05:19 PM EST

Yes, the Mystery Lady is Big Bertha...any Mario fan should know that...

Chestnuts roasted by Ken @ 06/25/2004 05:45 PM EST

There's still hope for a good SMB movie.
requirements:

base it visually on Super Mario World...in live action,
have it be directed by the guy who made the live action version of the japanese film Wicked City,in japanese, and score it w/ a NES sound card. Hell yeah.

Chestnuts roasted by s.davis @ 06/25/2004 06:07 PM EST

If anyone talks about me one more time, I swear I'll kill myself.

Chestnuts roasted by Big Bertha @ 06/25/2004 06:31 PM EST

There was nothing redeeming about this movie at all.

Chestnuts roasted by Crimson @ 06/25/2004 09:50 PM EST

I have to admit, this was one of my all time fav movies when I was younger, I was so happy when I read your review of it, Im glad to know Im not the only one that liked the movie! I also have to say I love Mortal Combat! yeah Im a loser ....I still hope one day that a Zelda movie is made, then my life would be complete!

Chestnuts roasted by oh what a LOOZER I am! @ 06/25/2004 10:15 PM EST

As a kid who lived and breathed Mario Brothers, I remember not liking the movie at all. They should have the Hammer Brothers in the movie. Those guys rocked.

I was really hoping that they'd make a Castlevania movie. I doubt they will now though since "Van Helsing" is so similar to it.

Another great video game to make into a movie would be Silent Hill. That game is as scary as all get out!

Chestnuts roasted by Admiral @ 06/25/2004 11:04 PM EST

Simon Belmont vs. Soda Popinski: the movie starring Scott Baio and Judge Reinhold.....'nuff said

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 06/25/2004 11:47 PM EST

Crimson-Was there supposed to be something redeeming about it? I always though it was just a fun shitty movie based on a fun yet weird video game series.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 06/25/2004 11:51 PM EST

On second thought, I'll probably just fart on everyone like I did to Buddy Love in The Nutty Professor 2.

Chestnuts roasted by Big Bertha @ 06/25/2004 11:55 PM EST

What the hell are you talking about?

Chestnuts roasted by Chocoholic @ 06/25/2004 11:58 PM EST

Wow! "Super Hornio Bros." that has got to be the most disturbing-yet-hilarious thing I've ever read about. LOL

Anyway, about Koopa's human form, I'd like to remind everybody that his de-evolution into a T-Rex at the end of the movie was suppossed to be a reference to his original reptilian form from the games.

Anyway, as much as I like this movie, I would like to see a more true-to-game Mario-movie. It would HAVE to be animated to work though (None of that weird Mario-stuff would look right in live action). The 1986 Anime movie sounds about right to me. (Too bad it's so rare and expensive). I wonder if Nintendo will ever dig it out of the vault and put it on DVD. If so, I hope it ends up on this side of the ocean as well.

Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 06/26/2004 12:47 AM EST

"Love that Joker"
Matt, as much as I love your prose writing, sometimes, the X-E titles get the biggest laugh from me.
"He don't look happy. He's been using Brand-X. But with new-and-improved Joker Brand. I get a grin, again . . . and again. Those luscious lips, that ruby smile, and hair-color so natural, only your undertaker knows for sure."
Was watching that movie just the other day. That commercial is probably the best part.

Chestnuts roasted by inkmage @ 06/26/2004 12:59 AM EST

This is completely out of left field, but as I've gone through a lot of old X-E articles, I've noticed that Matt never smiles in his pics! 'Course, neither do I, but that didn't stop me from wasting 10 seconds of my life bringing this up.

Chestnuts roasted by An Idiot @ 06/26/2004 01:14 AM EST

This Movie really dissapointed me I mean come on Dennis Hopper as Koopa Iggy and Lenny were his sons not his cousins Princess Daisy not Peach Lena who the fuck is Lena Bob Hopskins I felt was good as Mario Jhon L as Lugi bah he shouldve sportted the muschtache Big Bertha a Big Black woman Wigglers as cabs it seems the only thing right was Yoshi and bob omb plus notice the sequel teases after the credits role. They need to redo this movie better or maybe make a Legend of Zelda movie

Chestnuts roasted by MarioFan @ 06/26/2004 02:14 AM EST

Inkmage: indeed one of the finest points of Batman. My favorite part is actually the little "ding" song that plays just as it starts off, when the Joker is hopping around with the shopping cart.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/26/2004 02:21 AM EST

Trippy: sorry if someone else already corrected, but since you like to... Bill Murray wasn't the Dentist in the Little Shop remake [aka the musical version], he was the patient, and Steve Martin was the dentist, and in the article it says Audrey II [but perhaps there was an edit, I've been away a few days?].

Ryan: Mojo Nixon f*ing rocks!!! "Tie My Pecker To My Leg" is classic, as is the country album with Jello Biafra.

Chestnuts roasted by gesis @ 06/26/2004 03:44 AM EST

You know it's kind of funny I hated this movie when I was younger.Now that i'm older I really think its funny.Not sure why though

Chestnuts roasted by 0 @ 06/26/2004 07:56 AM EST

I remember seeing this when it first came out in theatres as a kid. And at the time, I was all hopped up on Mario pills. I thought it was going to be the best euphoric moment of my life.

Well, needless to say, I didn't understand a single second of this movie and I was deathly afraid of the Goombas... I'm still freaked out by their damn heads to this day. Ugh...

Chestnuts roasted by JDK @ 06/26/2004 01:48 PM EST

For really happy golden-age-of-TV commercial music, listen to "Holiday for Strings." It's one of those pieces that you may not know the name, but you know the tune. "I'm Gonna Dig Up Howlin' Wolf" is one of my favorite Mojo Nixon tunes.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/26/2004 02:22 PM EST

I liked that movie...

Chestnuts roasted by Bam_pontius @ 06/26/2004 05:17 PM EST

I think Mortal Kombat was a much better movie.

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 06/26/2004 09:11 PM EST

This movie was right on the same level as say a starfox movie that takes place in miami starring sarah jessica parker as falco. as a lil kid i actually didn't mind it too much. the only thing that really really bugged me was the depiction of goombas. oh yeah and the gigantic lack of turtles and pirahana plants. F---

Chestnuts roasted by Gman @ 06/26/2004 10:15 PM EST

i did not think this was a bad movie at all maybe not completely based on the game which could be a good thing i mean the original mario bros video games kinda always has the same story princess gets kidnapped and she did in this movie except she was luigis girl not marios...all and all i think they did a good job considering what they were working with

Chestnuts roasted by Mr.Fun @ 06/26/2004 10:41 PM EST

I "S" you not-- Just before I read the first mention of the Anoles, a five-eighths-inch black spider ran down my left arm from my shoulder and onto the desk. His legs-curled-up carcass is still lying where I spanked him. Sorry bug/arachnid lovers, it was either him or me.

Chestnuts roasted by ibinsomniac @ 06/26/2004 11:48 PM EST

this movie is(although mildly good)is on dvd and almost heros isnt and im the one in prison

Chestnuts roasted by The Supa' Koopa Cousins @ 06/27/2004 01:27 AM EST

i cant believe the character toad wasnt mentioned. the fact that the didnt look like or had nothing to do with the original toad might be a factor.

Chestnuts roasted by noto93 @ 06/27/2004 03:00 PM EST

If you think this movie was bad to watch, imagine working on it. I was an extra for this movie (a koopa cop and a pedestrian) and it was the worst movie ever. The 40 million musta went to something really good, cause the food sucked. Damn movie sent me to the hospital. Last movie I worked on till Black Knight. Will I ever learn?

Chestnuts roasted by Mimas @ 06/27/2004 03:07 PM EST

The movie did suk so bad, but it did have ONE thing that was pretty cool and that was the sounbdtrack.
"Almost Unreal" from Roxette. Thats such a cool song! No matter how many time I listen to it, it never loses its charm.
cheers

max

Chestnuts roasted by Madludwig @ 06/27/2004 03:22 PM EST

Whuttabout the Satriani tune during the Pipe Slide?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/27/2004 03:43 PM EST

If they do another Mario Brothers movie, I'd rather they get a company like Pixar to put some serious time in it. Plan out a monumental LOTR/Harry Potter movie series, do it in 100% CGI. The opening credits can be animated in blocky style like SMB1. It's the best chance of translating an accurate version of the story, at least visually.

Chestnuts roasted by Maximum Mike, The One We All Like @ 06/27/2004 05:11 PM EST

Don't be so hard on yourself Matt! Incredible review once again. Super Mario Bros. The Movie isn't THAT bad. Is it just me or does anyone find Matt's reviews are much better in the summer than in the winter? keep up the good work!

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 06/27/2004 06:03 PM EST

theres a girl in my spanish class that looks just like the koopas. the ones with the little tiny heads.

Chestnuts roasted by will @ 06/28/2004 01:58 AM EST

I saw this one in theaters, and actually liked it. It did have a lot going for it that made it worthwhile - the one thing really detracting from it is the fact that it has almost nothing to do with the game whatsoever, but that's understandable. As many have said, there's only so much plot development you can get out of a sidescroller. The cartoon TV show was good, but mostly because it did not drag on since the cartoon episodes were short (they were quick, simple plots based on the game, which were much more suited to a half-hour format).

At least it was an interesting (and goddamned weird) take on the Mario Bros. You're right about the sets, too - I'm pretty sure they were designed by the same set designer who worked on Blade Runner, but I may be wrong.

And yes, Mojo Nixon does kick ass as Toad. In case anyone wondered, he gets arrested for playing anti-Koopa songs. He also has a scene writing a song about Mario and Luigi in the jail.

Chestnuts roasted by Insight42 @ 06/28/2004 02:07 AM EST

I've seen this movie right when it was released to video stores sense my family was too poor to afford 4 tickets to see it.
It's a good movie and a lot of comedy gold can be drawn from it.
A kid I knew back in highschool was 6'5'' and had a tiny head. When I wasnt calling him tall I was calling him goomba.

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie @ 06/28/2004 04:06 PM EST

I've seen this movie right when it was released to video stores sense my family was too poor to afford 4 tickets to see it.
It's a good movie and a lot of comedy gold can be drawn from it.
A kid I knew back in highschool was 6'5'' and had a tiny head. When I wasnt calling him tall I was calling him goomba.

Chestnuts roasted by Eddie @ 06/28/2004 04:06 PM EST

I'm actually kinda surprised that this movie hadn't been reviewed by you before, Matt. Oh well. Good job.

The best thing about the movie for me was hearing "Speed of Light" by Joe Satriani. That just instantly made it a bit better!

Chestnuts roasted by Ripplin @ 06/28/2004 05:06 PM EST

the first and only time I sw this movie was when it was int theatres and I was 5. The only thing I remember from the movie (and surprisingly enough Matt, you actually didn't comment on), was when the bob-omb was about to blow up, they had the worst plug for a company ever. I don't know if this was removed in the video, but i will never forget that before the bomb blew up, it swicthed to a below shot of the bomb, and it was wearing Reebok white shoes. That's the only thing I remember surprisingly.

Chestnuts roasted by Behn @ 06/28/2004 05:17 PM EST

wait... did I say surprisingly? I meant thankfully... sorry about that guys. I saw it when I was 5, I loved it then. I gotta rent me this movie.

Chestnuts roasted by Behn @ 06/28/2004 05:20 PM EST

Man the dude who reviewed this must have been really bored. I read untill the first picture then just looked at the pictures.
I too admit to watching it when ever it is on coz it is never on cable here so when it's on free too air once every 5 years then i watch it the the goo stuff was cool...or was that mystery men?

Chestnuts roasted by ozechick5 @ 06/28/2004 08:31 PM EST

This movie repulsed me when I first saw it (after the horrific reviews, I was too upset to want to see it in the theatres). I believe my parents were subjected to my ravings for days afterwards (Koopa is a GIANT SPIKY TURTLE, NOT DENNIS HOPPER! It's supposed to be PRINCESS TOADSTOOL, NOT DAISY! WHY DOES TOAD LOOK MORE LIKE MEATLOAF THAN A MUSHROOM? WHY DOESN'T LUIGI HAVE A MUSTACHE????) etc. Time heals all wounds, but I've still not forgiven what they did to SMB: The Movie.

Icky. Putrid. Bad.

Chestnuts roasted by Team Rocket Rose @ 06/28/2004 09:25 PM EST

Well, I'm probably one of the very very very very VERY few people who rate this movie my favorite movie of all time. Now, don't think of me as a new gamer. I was born on March 12, 1988 and almost a year later I have my first memories of anything. Holding a controller and playing SMB. I'm a true Retro Gamer and I don't give 2 $hits about what anyone says but SMB was a masterpiece. Nintendo hasn't always gone in chronological order anyways (i.e. Legend of Zelda). So whos to say this wasn't the start of their adventures in the Parallel Universe? I mean, somewhere in that vast wasteland, Koopa must have created more and more empires as themes as SMB1, SMB2 (the real one, not Doki Doki Whatever-the-hell), SMB3, and u know the rest. To you, this might not make sense, but, hey, neither did E.T. for Atari or the ill-fated Legend of Zelda series or the Phillips CD-I. See? There are worse things in the universe if you think about it!

Chestnuts roasted by Dennis @ 06/30/2004 01:29 AM EST

Typo in my last post. It should read "the ill-fated Legend of Zelda series FOR the Phillips-CD-I. Sorry for the confusion!

Chestnuts roasted by Dennis @ 06/30/2004 01:32 AM EST

Heh heh. I love this movie. It has it's...."charm".

Chestnuts roasted by marril159 @ 06/30/2004 01:32 PM EST

I havent read all the other comments on this article, so I'm not sure if anyone else pointed this out. The Large Mystery Woman who is based on the big fish from the games, also bears the same name as her video game counter-part. Her name is "Big Bertha". Also, the De-Evolution guns are actually modified Super Scopes, the Bazooka-like gun controller for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System.

Chestnuts roasted by Syxx Gage @ 06/30/2004 04:54 PM EST

you should do an article on "little shop of horrors"

Chestnuts roasted by Rachel @ 06/30/2004 09:06 PM EST

i mean the most recent one (maby i should read the posts before i post) lol

Chestnuts roasted by rachel @ 06/30/2004 09:19 PM EST

i dunno, but i only saw like 1 person mention the fact that daisy isn't the princess of mushroom kingdom. but thats just one of the many mistakes the movie made...

Chestnuts roasted by Lena K14 @ 07/01/2004 01:46 PM EST

im fairly sure that the "corpulant" mystery woman in red, is in fact, suppposed to be a spiky.You know, the little red things that Lakitu throws at you and you can jump on the damn things. ><

Chestnuts roasted by g-rant @ 07/01/2004 05:00 PM EST

Lol....Mario Bros. was bad....but it was still better than ET.

ET was just plain gay.

Chestnuts roasted by Gobind Singh @ 07/02/2004 01:14 PM EST

I think it's too late to try to bring back Mario... he had his time... he's old now.

Just my opinion... I did enjoy the video games when I was a kid... two thumbs up for that.

- Dave
Dave's Daily

Funny, Strange, and Bizarre!
http://www.davesdaily.com

Chestnuts roasted by Dave @ 07/03/2004 03:19 PM EST

The movie wasnt all that bad but the movie came out a long time ago

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 07/03/2004 08:51 PM EST

I have a question...after watching this movie several times over the past 7 years, Ive always wondered if King koopa and Bowser were one in the same? This always bothered me because the name koopa in my mind was always synanamous with that annoying driver in the game Super Mario Kart, who was merely a turtle gone crazy. I have played all of the mario games, and i dont recall anywhere Bowser being referred to as King Koopa? Maybe this was a trick to leave options open for super mario brothers 2.

God help us all

benji

Chestnuts roasted by Benji @ 07/03/2004 10:20 PM EST

Benji, Koopa is actually Bowser's last name, since he is the King of the Koopas. So he's Bowser Koopa. Or King Koopa. The little turtles are called Koopa Troopas(I think...I feel kinda blasphemous not remembering) So yeah, he can be called either one, but I always feel odd calling him Koopa, and I remember actually cringing when "Princess" Daisy said "You must be the great Koopa." It just sounds so dirty, and not in a good way

Chestnuts roasted by nothing important @ 07/05/2004 02:27 AM EST

I believe in one scene the Bob-ombs are shown to be wearing Reebok's I remember the cars and jsut about anything else electrical ran on the old "Bumper Car's Electric Cage" type power deal. Come to think of it that was 1991 and they already had GPS as well. Yeesh. Anyways you guys never mentioned the "Hidden Scene" after the credits where the2 Koopa boys are pitching a game idea to 2 Japanese businessmen (One is supposed to be Miyamoto and I can't remember who the other is supposed to represent)

Chestnuts roasted by Namrepus221 @ 07/07/2004 03:57 AM EST

i loved this movie and always have. Long live Dago plumbers!

Chestnuts roasted by crowslament @ 07/08/2004 12:35 AM EST

Ok ok. I'll give this movie one ball. As in it sucked just one of my balls. I remember mildly enjoying it when I was 11 but seeing it recently has brought that down to a "I could have been watching something better."

Chestnuts roasted by Chazmyth @ 07/08/2004 07:24 PM EST

L.M.W. is based on the big fish (which I know was mentioned already), named Big Bertha (not sure if that was mentioned in the 200+ comments here).

Great article. I was pissed that the movie had nothing to do with the game, but it wasn't that bad once I got past that.

Chestnuts roasted by G'Noose @ 07/08/2004 07:57 PM EST

Gee, where does one begin?

I guess at the beginning…

Well I still remember the day I saw this movie. Being an absolute nut about Mario at that time in my life I knew I had to see it.

I sat on the upper left hand side of the theater. I really feel sorry for the 15 people in the theater on that opening day. I was the only one who saw in humor in this movie. The poor guy who I sat behind thought I was down right stupid for laughing at the scene where Luigi and Mario get the Koopas to dance with each other in the elevator which I think is not in the video at all. Weird…anyways. I laughed so hard at that one scene never to see it again.

I do own the soundtrack and love it.

The best thing about this movie is the fact that a friend of mine after it was over looked at me and was like, “I don’t get it.” We used that against her for most of her high school career.

I have it on my list of top 100 movies.

Chestnuts roasted by Cathi @ 07/12/2004 11:10 AM EST

I hated that movie. It pissed me off the way they screwed with my precious Mario Universe. And I think they tried to hard to enhance Luigi's popularity by portraying him as a hip, young, sex god in this movie.

Ugh. Barf. BURN IT!

I think they should try again... and this time, have someone work on the movie who is actually familiar with the games.

Chestnuts roasted by duckyass @ 07/18/2004 05:05 PM EST

Two other cool things about the movie that no one has mentioned yet:

Lance Henriksen plays the Mushroom King, who gets one line at the end.

There is one scene to reward people who sat through the ending credits, in which Spike and Iggy are pitching a video game idea to two Japanese businessmen.

Also, Spike and Iggy were both named after characters from the games. Iggy was one of Bowser's kids in SMB3 and SMW, and if I remember correctly, Spike was a turtle who upchucked spiked balls and threw them at Mario in SMB3.

And yeah, it makes you wonder whether the screenwriters read the comic books, or whether it's just a coincidence that Big Bertha has a crush on Mario.

Chestnuts roasted by Aaron Ackerson @ 08/27/2004 10:03 PM EST

YOU ARE ALL F#####' B#######.

Chestnuts roasted by FUCK YOU @ 08/28/2004 02:58 PM EST

You fools, the best part is at the end when Samantha Matthis is trapped in that place with all the sparks and electricity, she bends all the way down and you see a whole LOT of of her assets. I'm thinking nippleage in a childrens film? WOOHOO!!!!

You'll need to use the Jog function on your VCR folks.

Hey I was eleven ok?...

/Runs back to girlfriend...

Chestnuts roasted by JGN @ 08/31/2004 08:51 PM EST

Large Mystery Woman/The big fish is named "Big Burtha", the fish that spit out smaller fish in underwater levels, Big Boss Bass was the big fish that jumped at you on water platform levels, saddly I know this type of info.

P.S. GREATEST MOVIE EVER, with Street Fighter coming in close second.

Chestnuts roasted by Tri-Clyde @ 09/01/2004 02:38 AM EST

I've always enjoyed this movie. Not as a guilty pleasure, but as a pride at being one of a small handful of people who did. It's kinda fun to love something that everyone else hates. You feel like you have it all to yourself and only have to share it with a few others. So what if it didn't follow the games? I don't think I would have watched it if it did ... it would have had to be animated. *shudders* So what if the plot was corny? At least there were no holes in it. None that I saw anyway. It's not the greatest movie ever, but it has always been one of my favourites. One of the best game-to-movie films ever, at least. But then Frogger could beat Tomb Raider.

Chestnuts roasted by Lucky @ 09/01/2004 06:35 PM EST

Wazzup?! Well it could be a good movie. Just edit it a little.

Chestnuts roasted by Robbie @ 09/07/2004 01:29 PM EST

Wazzup?! Well it could be a good movie. Just edit it a little.

Chestnuts roasted by Robbie @ 09/07/2004 01:30 PM EST

This movie is one of my sick little pleasures. I bought it the other day for five bucks, just because.

I enjoyed the review. It's as scattered as the film.

Chestnuts roasted by Jillian @ 09/13/2004 09:47 PM EST

the fat lady is called big bertha that bitch is from the water world level she eats you if you get to close

Chestnuts roasted by logan @ 09/17/2004 05:41 PM EST

i love this movie... after reading bits of your review, however, i completely hate it. thanks, ass.

Chestnuts roasted by xaanz @ 09/28/2004 10:10 PM EST

Interesting tidbit to point out. Koopa's head chief of police/guard/warren/whatever you want to call him actually looks more like Luigi than the Luigi they used for this movie does.

Chestnuts roasted by Mac Dragard @ 10/25/2004 09:54 PM EST

i saw this in the theater with my dad when it came out, my dad played the game as much as i did. he was confused, i loved it.

sept 12, 2001. I flip to HBO, this movie is playing and it is the scene when New York begins decintigrating, starting with the Twin Towers. 8o

Chestnuts roasted by jesse @ 10/28/2004 08:31 PM EST

i saw this in the theater with my dad when it came out, my dad played the game as much as i did. he was confused, i loved it.

sept 12, 2001. I flip to HBO, this movie is playing and it is the scene when New York begins decintigrating, starting with the Twin Towers. 8o

Chestnuts roasted by jesse @ 10/28/2004 08:31 PM EST

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Chestnuts roasted by capital one com @ 11/03/2004 03:15 PM EST

I loved that movie... I know why everyone hates it... and I think they're all stupid for not overlooking the simple reasons for the changes.

#1: They had to make it make at LEAST some semblance of sense. Thus they changed the s