While I'm here, let's start anudder poll. Which animal inspires the most fear inside you? Could be a bug, shark, wacky bird, whatever. No fake answers -- keep the "my hamster I SWEAR HE'S POSSESSESSSSD" responses to a mininum, or I'll give you a reason to be scared.
Hate to be typical, but I'm gonna have to stick with any hairy spider. I've spent enough time looking at the things to desensitive the fear (I don't get all icked out just by watching them), but one catches my eye completely by surprise and it's close to me, I spend six seconds as a short white Harlem Globetrotter. That's a pretty terrible way to get a "jumping" point across. Anyway, hairy spider. This was my main problem with Arachnophobia. Save for the Master Queen Spider, they were all relatively non-creepy. No hair, no nothing. Just a buncha legs. Wasn't scary enough. Actually, my real main problem was that little theme they played whenever John Goodman's exterminator character walked onscreen. It just bugged me. Get it? Bugged?
Those giant, elephant-eating centipedes would be a close second.
Name your animal fears. Bonus points if fear is based on a personal experience where you felt pain.
REPLIES: 115 comments
I've really had no big fear in animals, but since I was a little kid I always got a little jumpy around barking dogs. I've never been bitten, but it always seemed they were trying.
Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 06/12/2004 10:37 AM EST
Got the same feaer here Matt - damn spiders! I was on a trip with a couple of friends looking for a Weird NJ place - the Jersey Devil's supposed home, in Leeds Point, NJ. We were in the woods looking for like an hour and decided there was nothing to be found. Wwe turned back, got to my car and noticed we had, what seemed to be, dirt spots all over us, head to toe. We thought really nothing of it until, when in my car, my friend starts flicking his lighter on, I asked what he was doing and he replies, "Dude, these aren't dirt spots, they're little baby spiders and they're moving all around on us!" At that point I freak out, pull over, strip to my skivvies, and beat the hell out of my clothes and thorw them in my trunk. I get back to my house, we all take showers, and I have to vaccuum out my car. From this day forth anytime I see a spider near or in my car I get the heebie-jeebies. Much to say, I get perturbed whenever I see one anywhere else around as well! Sorry for the rambling on.
~Shell smashed, juices flowing
wings twitch, legs are going,
don't get sentimental, it always ends up drivel.
Chestnuts roasted by Mugzy. . . @ 06/12/2004 10:53 AM EST
I can't really say any animal strikes that much fear into the heart of men. Well, mine. But I work at the local pet supply store, and we also do grooming, so I get to see my share of dogs, and I've got to say, I'm not a big fan of bloodhounds. When the skin hangs low enough from their eyes to show a good abount of red pulsy shit under the eye, that freaks the shit out of me.
Oh, and since I'm on mop duty, I always shudder when a slobberer comes in.
Chestnuts roasted by Max @ 06/12/2004 10:59 AM EST
I'm afraid of bees. It may seem silly, but it's true... I always act calm when they're around but when I get stung I freak out. No other animals really scare me.
Chestnuts roasted by Pixilated Warrior @ 06/12/2004 11:15 AM EST
In the water: A giant 20foot squid or shark
In the woods: any large angry animal (bear, hermit woodsmen)
couple weeks ago I found 5 or 6 spiders in my car...I always run into webs everywhere I go...Walking into webs is much scarier to me than just finding a spider...never know how many dead bugs and baby spiders are crawling all over that thing (shudder)
Chestnuts roasted by Ant @ 06/12/2004 11:29 AM EST
I just get creeped out by spiders in general. And so does Peter Jackson apparently. That's why he spent so much time working on that Shelob monster in Return of The King.
Anyway, I can't stand bees either. Not honey bees or bumble bees mind you, I'm talking about yellow jackets. A few years ago I was out mowing the lawn, when one of those little fuckers got under my shirt and stung me in the arm. I ran inside as all of the others followed me into the house. My parents got them out, but not before I got stung in my other arm. It sucked.
Then a couple of years later, I was mowing then lawn again, when of those damn things stung me on the leg.
I fucking HATE yellow jackets!
Chestnuts roasted by Number5 @ 06/12/2004 11:33 AM EST
Dogs. I don't know why as I've never been bitten to the best of my knowledge but Dogs scare the beejesus out of me. I was ok with them as a kid but now....I don't know.
Oh yeah and one quest solved now for me it's back to my quest.
Chestnuts roasted by Troy @ 06/12/2004 11:37 AM EST
$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%
ATTENTION
THIS SATURDAY ONLY
SOMETHING IS HAPPENING SOMEWHERE!
$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%
Anyway, an updated article! I'll have to check it out.
Chestnuts roasted by Two fighters against a Star Destroyer @ 06/12/2004 11:39 AM EST
Spitting Cobras!!!
Chestnuts roasted by BettieBoo @ 06/12/2004 01:14 PM EST
Spiders freak me out. One that's anywhere near me and I freeze. Horrible.
When I was little I had to use the bathroom real bad, so I ran in to use it. We always left the top lid up since someone was always going in to use the restroom and we were all lazy. So I run in and sit down and feel something crawling on my back. I twisted to look behind me and there was this huge, HUGE, spider just crawling along. I thankfully had the sense to finish peeing before I stood up and screamed. Now everytime I see a spider, I can feel those many legs crawling around.
Chestnuts roasted by Stacey @ 06/12/2004 01:16 PM EST
First of all, bees and spiders are not animals...they're insects.
I have a fear of rats.
Personal experience bonus: In the middle of Manhattan last year I was walking through the restaurant disrict while wearing sandals. MAnhattan has had a rat problem as many of you may have heard. Anyway, the restaurants had left their garbage out on the sidewalk and it was about 3AM. All of a sudden, a rat the size of a cat came running out and walked right over my sandaled foot which sent me into a scream which in turn, sent a number of rats out from beneath the garbage bags - all of them running over my feet. I almost fainted.
Also, I hated the Secret of Nimh.
Chestnuts roasted by Amanda @ 06/12/2004 01:48 PM EST
No animal relaly scares me, but bees creep me out a little. I just can't stand getting stung. I'm also not to fond of snakes. I"m talking about big snakes, not those little garter snakes.
So I guess the animal that would real scare me would be a possesed hamster riding a snake with a gun that shoots bees.
Sorry matt, but when you say someone can't do something they have to do it.
Chestnuts roasted by Bright Noah @ 06/12/2004 02:11 PM EST
I don't like really big dogs that sniff your crotch. You go over to your friends house and their huge fucking dog rushes at you and sticks it's face right between your legs. Your friend sees this, but just pretends like nothing is wrong. They might even go all out and throw in a "hey, he must really like you!" Excuse me? How about you get your dog's face out of my crotch!
I also don't like the word "crotch".
Chestnuts roasted by Kristal @ 06/12/2004 02:14 PM EST
Animals that scare me:
Spiders. ANY Spiders.
Bees, wasps, hornets (things that sting). I don't think I'm allergic, but I still get scared when one is around.
Basically, I have a phobia for bugs.
Everything else is a-ok, though.
Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 06/12/2004 02:15 PM EST
I don't like them little fishies that lodge themselves in peoples' urethras. Sounds nightmarish. Too nightmarish.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/12/2004 03:02 PM EST
I tell you what scares me, any kind of dead / dying animal.... Whenever I come across an animal corpse I really freak out.
Chestnuts roasted by Pablo @ 06/12/2004 03:28 PM EST
Dead birds.
I am DEATHLY afraid of dead birds.
Not live birds. And not any other dead animals. Just dead birds.
WTF?
Chestnuts roasted by Piscez @ 06/12/2004 03:45 PM EST
Stacey, mugzy, et. al., you know the answer to this one:
Deadly widow dressed in black,
Keeps her children in a sack.
(off to play a couple rounds of Centipede.)
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/12/2004 03:54 PM EST
Matt, I'm sure you know this but spiders aren't insects, therefore your "bugged" pun isn't actually a pun at all. It is because of this that I stubbornly refuse to laugh.
(Just kidding.)
I'd have to say that bugs of any sort really creep me out when they're on me. It doesn't matter how harmless they may be, I always freak out and brush it off of me as quickly as possible. Being around bugs in general doesn't "bug" me too much though.
Also, I'm not afraid of hamsters really, but don't underestimate them. I used to have one and it's two front teeth were alarmingly large. A bite from it hurt like a bitch. (And now that I think about it, the bites probably explain why I turn into a WereHamster every full moon.) Also, my friend's family had two hamsters that they kept in separate cages, and one day the mother and daughter took the hamsters out to "play." They set the critters down on the carpet and immediately the two hamsters latched on to each other and clawed and chewed each other. The mother got a pretty bad bite trying to separate them.
OH! And I know this is really long already, but...
When my hamster died it had a heart attack or something and bit onto the side of it's cage. It's teeth were fully revealed and it's body froze that way. My dad found it later on and said that it was a really disturbing sight because you could still see all of the pain the little hamster had experienced while dying due the it's frozen facial expression.
Chestnuts roasted by MysteryGuyCalvin @ 06/12/2004 03:57 PM EST
Bats aren't bugs.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/12/2004 04:22 PM EST
For me, it'd have to be snakes, any kind of them, they just freak me out. But also, I have a grave fear of sharks as well, mainly Great Whites. Years of living in Florida and hearing of shark attacks does that to you I guess.
Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 06/12/2004 04:26 PM EST
I don't like the sound of a crow's "caw". It just spooks me out. Too much resident evil.
Also, whenever I see a bunch of ants, I always think of the movie Phase IV, and that thet are conspiring a way to kill me.
Chestnuts roasted by fuzzyhulk @ 06/12/2004 04:39 PM EST
Spiders. No personal expirences, because I stay the fuck away from em. I mean..I even keep my distance in killing the freaks, I cant kill it unless im a good mile away. But I do have a good stick to use.
Chestnuts roasted by Mr. S @ 06/12/2004 05:04 PM EST
Matt, I also appreciate your love for these pies.
Chestnuts roasted by Evin @ 06/12/2004 05:41 PM EST
I've always been terifide of snow plows, when i was a kid my mom used to scare the shit out of me telling me that the snow plows would chase me and grind me up then she would laugh!
Chestnuts roasted by Orko @ 06/12/2004 06:13 PM EST
I think we could bring the turtle pies back!!! If the folks that visit this fine site have the same intensity for them as they did for ecto cooler then there is a chance to maybe make a change. I'm sure if you gave the word, all of my fellow x-ites (thats a working name 
would unleash a campagin on Hostess that would make Hi-C jealous that you were cheating on them. And surely it would link to fark, and lord knows how many farkers would respond. I say give it a go Matt and we could be eating Turtle Pies, or at least some variation, by this time next year.
Chestnuts roasted by Will @ 06/12/2004 06:30 PM EST
sharks man. I am deliciously afraid of sharks.
Chestnuts roasted by zombone @ 06/12/2004 06:54 PM EST
Does Hostess have the Shrek II license? They should just make Shrek "Swampies" (Swampy + Pies; I should work in advertising), which could be identical to the TMNT ones. I think that was the mistake: rather than just asking Hostess to resume making Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pies a decade and a bit after the original craze was over (yes, I know that 4Kids has brought the characters back, but without the same amount of merchandising), you should try and convince them to make them every summer and tie it in with a green-coloured movie character, like Hulk or Godzilla or Green Lantern. Or Good Luck Bear, whenever Michael Bay decides to make his $200 million live-action Care Bears movie, which will be darker and angstier than the original animated Care Bears Movie. (Yes, I'm making that last one up.)
Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 06/12/2004 06:54 PM EST
Ants. Any kind, but specifically the Amazonian ones that swarm through the forest and consume anything unfortunate enough to be caught in their path. Yecch.
Saw a documentary once where a pair of baby birds were overrun and torn apart by those things. They actually showed the ants crawling over the poor little guys, biting them and *tearing bits of flesh off.*
Plus, they're a hive-mind controlled by a queen, and two schools of ants won't hesitate to kill eachother. They're evil, evil creatures.
Chestnuts roasted by TheNovak @ 06/12/2004 07:07 PM EST
Hey, Matt - does the XE-blog have an RSS feed?
Chestnuts roasted by Seth Christenfeld @ 06/12/2004 07:18 PM EST
Spiders, definitely. I've never been bitten but I remember one dropping down onto my shoulder while I was doing my hair, and once I felt something crawling ON MY FACE, near the corner of my mouth, and it was a spider and I wanted to cry and shit and vomit all at once.
Chestnuts roasted by Luftballoons @ 06/12/2004 07:58 PM EST
I know it's really stupid, but I'm deathly afraid of being near horses. Strange, considering I'm a girl...or is it?
Personal Experience Bonus: I've always been afraid of horses since I was thrown from the saddle, but my foot was stuck so I got dragged behind the horse for about 60 feet while the stupid instructor flirted with a couple of blonde bimbos.
Chestnuts roasted by Mina @ 06/12/2004 08:52 PM EST
I'm not really afraid of too many animals. I'd have to say that I was scared to death of sharks after a traumatic experice with Jaws the Ride out in Cali when I was a youngin'. I still don't like swimming when I can't see whats below my feet, that means I don't swim in lakes or oceans.
I also have this deal with centipedes. And bugs don't really bother me. But after reading Burroughs and "Naked Lunch" alot I just have all these icky thoughts of centipede ozone and mugwomps.
Chestnuts roasted by Don't Touch, Willy. @ 06/12/2004 08:53 PM EST
Steve why stop with the turtle pies. You could have Ecto Cooler become swamp punch or something like that for a shrek II tie in.
Chestnuts roasted by Bright Noah @ 06/12/2004 08:58 PM EST
Bees, wasps, hornets, yellowjackets: Anything with yellow and black stripes, lives in hival communities, and stings scares me. No, make that TERRIFies me. And if any flying insect gets too near my ear, I freak. I think it stems from when I was a little girl and a bee stung me on the ear. My BF has a similar fear of insects, so he understands.
Chestnuts roasted by Divaah46 @ 06/12/2004 09:05 PM EST
Kingklash - aren't those fish called Candirus? I remember them from the Survivor season that was filmed in the Amazon. They actually swim up your stream of urine, so just pissing over the side of the boat could get you infected. Then they grow inside your urethra until you can't pee anymore, and you die of urea poisoning. Yeah, that's a pretty horrible way to go.
I'm also afraid of sharks. Once, about 15 years ago, we were staying in Cape Cod, and a sand shark beached itself behind our cottage. It was little - only about 3' long, but just knowing that it swam right up to the beach and no one knew until it was on shore scared the crap out of me. I mean, how sneaky, ya know?
Also, I don't like ticks. Esp full ones. In sixth grade, the girl in the seat next to me yanked a bursting, bloody tick from her scalp, and dropped it right on her desktop. It was walking around, all pointy toed and bloated like some science fiction monster, only in tiny, hard to see form. This thing was sucking the blood right out of her, all parasitic and hungry. How nasty.
I remember watching something on Discovery Channel about parasitic worms, and apparently, in the early part of the century, someone actually sold tapeworm eggs in pill form as a weight loss device. I mean, that's desperation. I wonder how they got the worms out once you lost enough weight? How big were those suckers? (I know, two thirds of PUN is P-U - bad joke).
Ok, I just have to get this out - Ben & Jerry's Half Baked Carb Karma ice cream SUCKS! It is absolutely horrible. It tastes like cold nothing. Even snow has more flavor. Yech.
Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 06/12/2004 09:29 PM EST
I'm now totally freaking out over the Candirus. Thanks, King.
http://www.angelfire.com/mo2/animals1/catfish/candiru.html
Here's a quote from the above website, to get you all interested: "The candiru has a voracious appetite for blood and will parasitize fish, mammals, and humans. One scientist, while holding a candiru, accidently let it enter a small cut on his hand. It could be seen writhing under the skin towards the vein."
Blah, yech!
Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 06/12/2004 09:32 PM EST
Hey, trajeal,
Have you tried the Chocolate one or any type of flavor? I tried thr Vanilla and it was pretty nasty. Needless to say my fat ass finished it anyway. But I've seen Choclate with chocolate chip or brownie or something. Have you tried any of those?
Chestnuts roasted by Will @ 06/12/2004 10:10 PM EST
Toads!!! those nasty bastards that get in your yard and garden. I was playing with my hot wheels years ago minding my own busines having a ball, i just so happened to look up for a second and a huge toad was just looking at me, the sonsabitch. i knew he couldnt hurt me but i almost shit my pants. to this day i am disgusted by the nasty beasts. *shudders*
Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 06/12/2004 10:15 PM EST
And also to add to the disscussion...
Anything in the water. Not only sharks, but imagine swiming in water deep enough for whales, and then all of a sudden you're near the mouth and it sucks you up. Those things are huge. Freaks me out.
Also, I don't know if I'm the only one that has this problem, but I also get freaked out if I go to a museum and they have the animals behind the glass and my mind plays tricks on me. Even though I know they're dead and stuffed, my mind has this way of making me feel like they will come alive and stampede in any second. I know, I stink, lol
Chestnuts roasted by Will @ 06/12/2004 10:18 PM EST
I just read that candiru link. I think whomever authored it should have paid more attention in anatomy class or more attention while writing the piece. The text describes an anatomical path that seems to me to be quite impossible (unless the fish takes the scenic route). And one of the sources quoted was "urbanelgends[sic].com" [urbanlegends]so methinks the article should be partaken with a few grains of Sodium Chloride before resorting to bathing in those two South American rivers with a cork up one's.....
The fear factor?
Great story about the tick, but man, I fear and loathe those big, hairy spiders (>1/2" or the disgusting juicy yellow-green ones. They hide all over the friggin' place and can crawl on you at will, even (especially?) when you're sleeping (hence insomniac?). Also any striking snake. And those damn, greenish, yellow-jackets who seem to always be flying around garbage cans or chrome bicycle handlebars like they think that they're bad mo-fos.
BTW, if playing "animal, vegetable, or mineral", spiders are neither "vegetables" nor "minerals", so "animals" it be.
Chestnuts roasted by ibinsomniac @ 06/12/2004 10:33 PM EST
Sorry, I have no idea how that wry, winking smilely got there. It should have been a closing paren.
Chestnuts roasted by ibinsomniac @ 06/12/2004 10:37 PM EST
Well, let's see... creatures that scare me...
I really hate bees- I've been stung three times, and I'm really leery whenever they're around. Not fun.
Bugs of any kind (especially the crunchy ones) freak me out a little, more when they're on me or very close to me, and not so much from a distance.
My friend flips out around spiders... she was getting dressed at camp once and a spider landed on her and she ripped her pants off and jumped around a lot. It was hilarious.
I can't really count things I've never been in contact with or near... like sharks and stuff (maybe that's a bad example). I don't like to touch anything underwater, though.
And I like rodents... maybe not truck-size rats, and I sure wouldn't want mice living in my house not as pets, but I like them.
Okay, that's all.
Chestnuts roasted by Rainbowfeet @ 06/12/2004 11:49 PM EST
Not to change the subject, but it must be said:
Attention A-Wel Cruz:
Mac and Me
http://www.parnasas.com/PopArena/Articles/macandme.html
Thanks, Mr. x 3!
Chestnuts roasted by Okay, can we be done now? @ 06/12/2004 11:58 PM EST
Spiders.. definately spiders... I once spent a summer at a camp that had those things everywhere.. on the water, under the bed, in every corner. You would think that this would have de-sensitized me to the damn things, but all it did was give me severe arachnaphobia..
Chestnuts roasted by hugsnstuff @ 06/13/2004 12:21 AM EST
Ants. I despise ants. Every single spring, my bedroom becomes ant central.. I don't even know where they come in, but they do. And then I'll wake up in the mornings and find them all over me. And this continues until fall. Just this morning I woke up and felt something squirming in my hair. And that's why I'm moving rooms.
Spiders don't bother me as much as they used to, but I still don't like them much. I've woken up with a spider actually sitting on my tongue before.. that is not fun.
There are no other animals I'm majorly afraid of. Sharks and snakes are my all time favourite animals and I have two pet rats (who are adorable). Bugs in general creep me out though.
Chestnuts roasted by Starreh @ 06/13/2004 12:33 AM EST
I typed the painful and heartbreaking story of my childhood trauma, and then accidentally closed the window before submitting it. That was hours ago, and all my flowery language is long forgotten. Short version: I've always hated snails, and in Jr. High a pair of nerdy freshman ganged up on me and threw dozens of the nasty little hermaphrodites at me. I went to class with snail guts clinging to my backpack and shell shards in my hair. Ugh.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/13/2004 12:41 AM EST
Amanda: I can't let this go. Bugs are animals. Spiders are animals. Insects are animals. Rule of thumb: if it has to get food (as opposed to producing it on its own), has more than one cell, and is mobile at some point in its life cycle, it is an animal. I have heard that frogs, lizards, bugs, now spiders are not animals. That's cladocentric bunk--just because humans are mammals, does not mean that animals only refers to mammals (and birds, which are nto even closely related).
And to be more picky, spiders are arachnids, not insects.
Finally, Trajeal and Kingklash,(and this will bring me to my feared animals), parasitic Candiru do not bury themselves in human or other skin, and certainly cannot swim, salmon-like, up an overboard stream of urine. The normal diet of Candiru is blood from behind the gill operculum of larger fish--they track this by following the excreted ammonia that comes out of the gills. If someone--any mammal, really--urinates in the water, this creates an ammonia stream to be followed. Their eyes aren't their main sensory organ, so they don't really care where the trail leads. When the catfish discovers that it is trapped, it reflexively locks its pectoral fins (like all catfish) and becomes wedged in the urethra--imagine pulling out a treble hook; that's essentially the problem when they get in.
This leads to the animals I have always feared--larger catfish, in 3 forms, that I have dealt wtih in aquaria. The first are the big plecos when they thrash around, since the spines really hurt, plus some, like bristlenoses, have opercular spines under their gills that act like clubs. Second are pimelodid catfish like Pictus cats, since the venom in the spines of some species can be lethal if the fish is big enough. Finally, doradid catfish have saws along their sides, and will try to catch fingers or hands between the saw and their pectoral fins, then twist back and forth, leaving a bloody mess.
I also fear large parrot-type birds--I still have a scar on my thumb where a large parakeet removed a chunk, and I saw a girl get her lip pierced by a macaw. Stupid birds.
Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 06/13/2004 12:48 AM EST
Scary candiru link w/ pictures of removed fish and swollen "parts": http://www.internext.com.br/urologia/Casosclinicos.htm I found this linked from The Straight Dope, here: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/010907.html
Will, let's see, I had the chocolate and vanilla ice cream w/ brownies and cookie dough. Sounds good, right? I figure if I keepit around, I can eat some the next time I'm craving ice cream, but knowing how bad it tastes will keep me from eating too much at a time. Think it will work? Or is it doomed to early freezer burn in the anals of my deep freeze?
Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 06/13/2004 01:19 AM EST
Hey Sean. Thanks for the "insects are animals!" rant. As a former science geek I was feeling obligated to mention that, but you saved me the trouble!
As for which animals I'm afraid of... I'm all over the bug/arachnid bandwagon. Unless it is a butterfly, dragonfly or single ant it creeps me out. Here is why...
Lots of ants are creepy because they make this strangely moving trail and crawl over whatever is in their way.
Spiders are icky and have too many legs, ditto with centipedes and millipedes.
Bees and wasps will try to sting me. I've never been stung but my dad is allergic so I'd really rather not discover whether or not I am too.
Moths are creepy because they lack pretty butterfly colours and are bitter about it and so try to get stuck in your hair and fly in your eyes. Jerks.
That is all, goodnight.
Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 06/13/2004 03:31 AM EST
Ew, and beetles are scary too, once one bit me with its little pincher things. And don't get me started on the yuck factor of June bugs. I saw my first one last summer and it was so huge I thought it had to be plastic. I was about to pick it up when I fortunately bumped it with my shoe so it skittered away before I could touch it. Ew.
Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 06/13/2004 03:32 AM EST
hairy spiders and leeches.
Chestnuts roasted by Rachel Cakes @ 06/13/2004 03:47 AM EST
My personal animal fear is those little pale skinned lizards. You know the ones that look like they're almost transparent with the big eyes? The freak the heck out of me.
Chestnuts roasted by bishopX @ 06/13/2004 04:16 AM EST
trajeal
Maybe when aged like a fine wine for, say a few thousand years, the tastes of anal... er angels, will emerge making it the greatest ice cream of all time. Until then, echh, lol. Was the chocolate at least BETTER, then the vanilla at all? I can imagine it tastes the same though because the vanilla had a very, for lack of a better term, flavorless flavor, if you get me.
Chestnuts roasted by Will @ 06/13/2004 04:31 AM EST
I live in Taiwan, and the roaches here are disgustingly fat and enormous ... and they fly. Ugh. I also hate hairy spiders and the other typical gross outs. But the biggie for me are centipedes.
We used to have this centipede-colored carpet in our basement, and our basement was infested with -- I'm sure you're not expecting this -- French poodles. No, really, there were these HUGE centipedes in our basement.
I hated them. My dad has this scar in the middle of his chest that looks a little bit like a fat centipede. He told us that a centipede jumped up and bit him, leaving the unsightly scar. Of course, this scared the daylights out of me. And they way they move! grosses me out.
Chestnuts roasted by jaycee @ 06/13/2004 10:44 AM EST
humans suck!
but I guess I hated that time a bird built a nest above on my porch light and defended it with all it's might. Poor mailman.
Spiders are catch and release.
Waterbugs and roaches:Kill em on sight.
Bunnies and squirrels no problem.
Opposums are ugly, luckily they're nocturnal.
Our knowledge of animals makes us less afraid, also it's nice to know we can easily kill them at any time with modern implements. and they are delicious.
Chestnuts roasted by dfghdfh @ 06/13/2004 11:10 AM EST
Centipedes, millipedes...any of the pedes, I suppose. All gliding across the ground....ugh. I had one crawl on me once, and it was warm.
*shiver*
Chestnuts roasted by Lakini Malich @ 06/13/2004 11:16 AM EST
Will, hee!
Vanilla: The Anti-flavor
No, neither the chocolate nor the vanilla had any taste. I did taste something when I got to the hunks of brownie. Have you ever tasted unsweetened baker's chocolate? Well, there you go. I'd rather eat ice cream shaped air than unsweetened chocolate. Uck.
Does that vagina shaped ass from Pink Floyd's The Wall count as an animal? B/c I had nightmares for weeks after seeing that thing. Too many body parts crammed into one being.
Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 06/13/2004 11:59 AM EST
Oh, yeah, Gretchen, I couldn't resist. http://www.free-image-hosting.org/pic.php?pic=6/16219210667.jpg The new PT Cruiser
Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 06/13/2004 12:02 PM EST
I am easily spooked by almost any animal. Not afraid of them mind you, but it's easy for most animals to at least startle me. I'm really pretty good with spiders, though there is one from australia, called a "huntsman" I think...anyway they're not poisones or anything, but they do get to be the size of dinner plates, and their legs are arranged like a crab so if it's on your arm and you try to wave it away, it can latch on, that just creeps me out. When I was an exchange student down there my host brother was trying to get over his phobia of them by letting them crawl all over him, crazy person, and every time they reached his wrist, he freaked out. the day after I saw him do that for the first time, I woke up w/ a big one, about four inches in diameter, sitting on the wall right next to my bed. it took me three more nights before I could sleep at night.
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/13/2004 12:08 PM EST
http://www.guts.net/assets/duplicate1/huntsman_spider.jpg
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/13/2004 12:15 PM EST
Go do a GIS on "dock spider" and you'll see what we have to content with in Manitoba lake country. They're also called fishing spiders because they catch and eat small fish. They can submerge when frightened and hide on the bottom of a lake for up to 15 minutes, surviving on air trapped in their body hair. Anyway, these freaks lurk under docks and along water lines all over the place here - there's no faster end (for me anyway) to dockside beer-drinking fun than an armour plated fawking tarantula sized spider-creature from hell climbing over the edge of the dock and going for a stroll. Yeeesh.
Chestnuts roasted by Rod @ 06/13/2004 01:26 PM EST
In Mexico I was followed by a small pack of diseased-looking dogs while walking from a store back to the condo. It was night time when the air is cool and they're more active. They didn't do anything to me but they would fight amongst themselves and I most definetly did not want to get bitten by a diseased mexican dog. I din't want to start running either in case they got excited by it and decided to give chase.
Chestnuts roasted by Casino Royale @ 06/13/2004 02:22 PM EST
If I might add to trajeal's general sense of well-being by saying:
"I SENTENCE YOU TO BE EXPOSED BEFORE YOUR PEERS! TEAR DOWN THE WALL!"
*ahem*
How about Joan Rivers lately? eep! That is one frightening carbon unit!
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/13/2004 03:00 PM EST
I never really had a fear of animals, but for some strange reason, I was nervous while standing near some goats a couple of days ago...
Chestnuts roasted by Sara @ 06/13/2004 03:20 PM EST
I'm not afraid of spiders in general, but my neighborhood is flippin' infested with black widows. Go outside at night with a flashlight and you'll see them everywhere, hanging by black stiletto legs from their fishing line-thick webs like evil black cherries, their hourglasses flashing like cyclopean vampire eyes, abdomens swollen drum-tight with the next generation of baby-poisoning monsters... and worst of all, they like to set up housekeeping in the garbage can handles. Not a comforting thought when taking the trash to the curb late at night.
Chestnuts roasted by G'Tron @ 06/13/2004 03:50 PM EST
I am so scared of Cockroaches. Not the small ones, but the big ones. If I see one or think I see one I get so nervous.
Chestnuts roasted by Madmar @ 06/13/2004 04:44 PM EST
Joan Rivers? What about Larry King? If I saw him on the street and didn't know any better, I would be checking Meghan's Law to see if I had some sexual offender camped out near me.
Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 06/13/2004 06:42 PM EST
I don't mind bugs in general; in middle school I put preying mantises on little dental floss leashes and bothered boys with them. Even spiders don't bother me too badly, though maybe it helps that I've been bitten several times and haven't died yet. But there's this type of hairy-ish white moth with black spots that for some reason freaks me out horribly. I have no idea what it's called, but sometimes there would be a bunch of them in the bushes outside my school where I did my mantis-hunting, and that would curtail the expeditions.
I think my issue with them wasn't that I thought they would hurt me, but that absolutely everything seemed to kill them. I actually thought they were cute when I first saw one, but I would brush one with my finger and its wing-dust would all come off and it'd fall down dead, and someone would brush against the bush and a couple would fall out dead (the mantises hadn't eaten them, they were all in one piece), and sometimes their corpses would cling to the bushes like they were still alive for a couple days... I suspect that the pollution in the area (we weren't allowed near the creek because it was so full of sewage and old refrigerator fluids and gasoline and such) might've had something to do with it, but in my mind the things are suicidal zombie bugs that belong in Antonin Artaud plays.
I also don't like copperheads. They get in the house sometimes.
Chestnuts roasted by Goz @ 06/13/2004 07:43 PM EST
I am being eaten alive by cicadas!
Chestnuts roasted by Brian @ 06/13/2004 08:11 PM EST
i dont likea da sharks ... or for that fact anything in the ocean ... i jump whenever seaweed goes past my foot .... damn fishies
Chestnuts roasted by Graves @ 06/13/2004 08:19 PM EST
Ticks. The family dogs both have tick problems, and as much as I love them that's the one chore I will not help with. (Which, I hasten to say, does not mean they're not getting deticked. Just not by me.)
Alos, those moths with the huge fat bodies that are the same size and shape as hummingbirds. Proof positive that God has a sadistic streak, those things. They bother me more than the weird little caramel-colored beetles that pop up in the summer and terrify me for no conceivable reason.
Chestnuts roasted by Tabby @ 06/13/2004 09:36 PM EST
Something to add... not afraid of it, but I refuse to eat Lobster, Shrimp or Crab anymore since I've learned about a year ago that they are just basically giant underwater, Cockroaches. Go head, look it up, i dare ya.
Chestnuts roasted by Will @ 06/13/2004 09:44 PM EST
I gusee it isn't an animal but I hate wasps. I was stung by a wasp while sleeping when I was twelve and ever since then the damned things have kept on stinging me. They seek me out, even when minding my own business I still get stung. Thjey chase me down. They hate me. I blame the democrats.
Chestnuts roasted by derek @ 06/13/2004 09:50 PM EST
Worms. They totally gross me out.
Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 06/13/2004 10:51 PM EST
Spiders.
Chestnuts roasted by Pete @ 06/14/2004 01:15 AM EST
Matt,
I just read in a previous blog that you're bringing back whale pictures.
I sent you a picture of sexual baleen war whales and i am wondering if you still have the picture.
If you do still have it, I hope you put it up. If it's to stupid/offensive though I understand.
Chestnuts roasted by tongpo2000 @ 06/14/2004 03:14 AM EST
Big ass Spider sscare me to death and I'm not ashamed to tell it. Kill 'Em all!!!
Chestnuts roasted by Thijs (just try to pronounce that) @ 06/14/2004 06:06 AM EST
I am most scared of anything bigger than me, but I'm fairly terrified by spiders.
Once, when I was a little fellow, I was awake alone in my grandparents' house, and decided to play my little harmonica. After about ten minutes, I suddenly felt a sharp pain on my tongue - this is because a spider had crawled out of the harmonica onto my tongue. A lot Listerine got cycled through my mouth that day.
Chestnuts roasted by Jack Blorton @ 06/14/2004 09:47 AM EST
Poisonous snakes, especially the Cobra and rattle snake.
Chestnuts roasted by J-Dog @ 06/14/2004 09:47 AM EST
Lampreys creep me the hell out. It's their disturbing mouths... always open... full of razor-sharp teeth... ready to latch on and devour...
Gah!
Chestnuts roasted by sensei @ 06/14/2004 10:12 AM EST
First off, thank you Sean and Gabby... as a biology fan, thank you for clarifying the 'animal/insect' issue... last I checked, insect wasn't it's own kingdom. Plant, fungus, monera, protist, animal, and debatably virus are the kingdoms to choose from...
As for me, I guess I have a rational fear of most venomous animals. My irrational fears include the 'bizarre' beasts of the world... namely living-fossil water dwellers. Anglers, coelacanths, gar, jellies, basking sharks, horseshoe crabs, etc. etc.
I remember as a kid having a sticker/coloring book that had a drawing of a umbrella-mouth gulper eel... I remember to this day the sinking feeling in my stomach that comes with fear whenever I turned to that page.
Now, I have a fascination with these animals, but would never ever want to see one up close and personal.
Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 06/14/2004 11:09 AM EST
Spiders absolutely! Click the Blah...blah to see a particularly creepy specimen. We saw it Saturday and I still haven't fully recovered. He was easily as big as a silver dollar. Kinda' hard to see in the web, but if you look close you can see its front legs. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
Chestnuts roasted by Blah...blah @ 06/14/2004 12:38 PM EST
I'll have to go with sharks on this one. I get the creeping horrors just reading a news article about a shark attack!
Chestnuts roasted by JPSloan @ 06/14/2004 12:48 PM EST
One day, many years ago, Ma, Little Brother, and I were coming back from a relative's and we were going along the back roads when I spotted a Tarantula moseying across the road. "Hey! A tarantula!" Ma said, "Wanna catch it for a pet?" So, she backs up the car. "Tell me when I'm close." "Waitwaitwaitwait!" POP! End of spider.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/14/2004 12:51 PM EST
Yeah, I know it's not original, but it's definately spiders. Any kind...hairy or not...Especially those huge yellow and black garden spiders we get here in New England in the summer time...I think they are called Golden Orb Weavers or something. God, they are disgusting.
Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 06/14/2004 01:04 PM EST
Bugs, Spiders, Bees, Hornets, the works, hate em all, think its possible to put Raid in the big orange fuel tank on the space shuttle and just explode it in the atmosphere, killing all the bugs?
Chestnuts roasted by JoeCanuk @ 06/14/2004 01:04 PM EST
Definitely spiders. There's Brown Recluses in a shed near my house. BR's in Connecticut? Yep. They're here. And the shed is filled with asbestos so my landlord's don't want to knock it down.
Chestnuts roasted by BaronVonHotPants @ 06/14/2004 01:31 PM EST
oh yea, one useless fact to scare the shit out of people who don't like spiders...
The average American eats approximatly 4-6 spiders a year.
I would assume it's durring sleep, unless there's some kind of spider reseraunt I don't know about.
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/14/2004 02:05 PM EST
I must appologize, I just reaseached my last statement, and found out I've been passing along an urban legend. I guess I'm more gulible than I thought, but hell that's an even better useless fact, for when people bring up spider swallowing.
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/14/2004 02:21 PM EST
Matt, Roger beat you to the Hostess Cupcake Easy Bake Oven review.
http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/hostess/default.asp
Hagmoths are scary. http://len.schmid.com/photoshop_madness/bug5.jpg Not sure what one was doing in CT, though, since they usually live farther south. One fell out of a tree onto my front step, and I almost stepped on it, barefoot. See all those little hairs? They're stingers.
Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 06/14/2004 02:46 PM EST
I'm going to leave the realm of scary and enter the realm of disgusting... Warning, anyone easily disgusted may want to skip this entry.
A few months ago, some feral creature did its business on my front porch. By doing so, it left behind a tapeworm. By the time I found the mess in the morning, the tapeworm had made decent progress in its effort to find a new host... it had "wriggled" about a foot in the direction of my front door...
That's enough to make me ill... hope no one was eating lunch or dinner while reading this...
Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 06/14/2004 03:01 PM EST
Guess I should warn ya, trajeal, that I saw Mothra headed in your direction!
flappity flappity flap flap.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/14/2004 03:06 PM EST
Ticks, man I hate those things, they're just ugly and nasty!
Snakes, only cause I usually don't notice them until I practically step on them, kind of freaks me out when I see a twig slither away.
Jellyfish, always afraid one is going to attach itself to me metroid style and I won't have a freeze ray or rockets much less be able to transform into a ball and drop some bombs to get away.
Save me Samus! Then we go out for a hot date!
Chestnuts roasted by That Guy @ 06/14/2004 03:41 PM EST
Ticks are part of the spider family, just so you know.
spoon!
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/14/2004 03:44 PM EST
I'm afraid of spiders...I actually pass out if they're large enough. When I was fourteen I volunteered at a local science museum. I was in charge of the "Creepy Crawlies" exhibit (i.e. snakes, spiders, and bugs). We had this huge plexi glass "cage" where we kept David Boa and Monte Python (it was divided, of course). Someone thought it would be hilarious to drop our tarantulla ("Teensy"into David's side.
I didn't know this had been done.
I'm all giving my lecture and I reach into pick up David and Teensy, furious at being in the cage with the huge snake, scurries up the side and onto my arm.
Horrified at this unknown spider crawling up me I promptly pass out. My fellow coworkers were conserned that David would begin to wrap me up and constrict me (what, with him being a constricter and all) and so they were trying to get him back into the cage when I came to.
I, of course, was worried about the damn spider eating me.
Go figure.
Been terrified ever since. Not quite physical harm, but it was traumatic.
Chestnuts roasted by kathryn rainne @ 06/14/2004 04:22 PM EST
Spiders - without a doubt.
I was playing my favorite childhood game Hide and Go Seek and Destroy Tag in the dark one time - and in the course of the game, climbed out the 2nd story window onto the porch roof and shimmied down one of the poles of the porch to the ground.
Thinking highly of myself for this acrobatic feat (and throwing off the person who was it) I proceeded to sneak back indoors and into the TV room to watch videos and plan my next move. As I sat sprawled with my hands folded on my stomach I felt something hairy and wiggly moving under my fingers... Looked down and Holy Shit BIG HAIRY SPIDER!! Right on my body! I did one of those backpedaling superspeed brushing off maneuvers - I'm sure some of you know what I mean - and threw it off onto the floor. That hell spawned thing kept coming right for me! Finally my dad (who wasn't involved in the game and would have shot me for climbing on the porch "You'll break your neck, blah, blah.." heard my screams and sobbing and came in to smush it. I was probably 7 or 8 and I'll never forget it. Makes me all squirmy and shivery just thinkin' on that one.
Yech.
Chestnuts roasted by MaryFran (MF) @ 06/14/2004 04:29 PM EST
Was Mothra a hagmoth in its previous life? I think I'm going to avoid all Godzilla movies and any bright light sources that measure more than 25 feet in diameter. That should keep me safe.
Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 06/14/2004 04:56 PM EST
Gabby & Nachokhaki: Apparently derek doesn't read. Or apparently wasps aren't animals now. But at least some of us know.
Do we need anymore proof that science education is failing us?
And I suppose I should qualify my earlier statement--I don't really fear any animals, I just have a healthy respect of what they are capable of, and try to behave towards them accordingly. Unlike a buddy of mine that also worked in the pet industry (from which I am thankfully free now). I have never known anybody that had been shocked by an electric eel, scraped by the spine of a freshwater stingray, stung by a potentially lethal scorpion, nearly bit by an alligator snapping turtle, and bitten by a pirhana (that led to tissue grafts, and an eternal source of mocking throughout the city, because word spread pretty damn fast). The worst part is that he knew better, but often tried to show off "a la" Crocodile Hunter (often with the aim of entering a girl's pants) but you can imagine how impressive it is to see an idiot that should know better writhing in agony from an animal "incident". It's so sad that I couldn't even make this guy up.
Worst I ever had? Two deep cuts from a needlenose gar (AKA silver needlefish) that scraped me with its mouth open, and a few snake bites. Plus that damn parakeet. And I used to hand feed a moray eel, and came out none the worst for it.
Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 06/14/2004 08:31 PM EST
I had to post again, just to hit the 100th post! WooHoo Me!
Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 06/14/2004 08:31 PM EST
There really aren't any animals that scare me,but when I was younger a blue jay attacked me by hitting me in the head,becuase she thought I was going to do something with its nest,which was on the roof of my house. After it attacked my dad and brother,my dad finally did something and got rid of its nest,so it would leave. For some time after that,I was scared of those things,running into the house if I ever saw one.
Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 06/14/2004 10:26 PM EST
The only animal that's ever freaked me out is the Camel Spiders that they have in the middle east. I'm usually VERY un-squeemish but good-god those things are the product of hell!! :^o Do a google search on the name and you'll see what I mean.
Chestnuts roasted by Syllavus @ 06/15/2004 11:51 AM EST
A bug,...definately a bug. The "lightning" bug to be exact. I would think most would know what these look like and are, but if you do not I shall explain them. The are 1/3 inches long, black, red eye with blakc pupil on top (not its real eyes but a decoy for birds I suppose?), flying, a yellow ass that lights up off and on over and over, and worst of all they smell like unwashed ass. Definately scary.
Chestnuts roasted by xWasteAwayWithMe = AIM @ 06/17/2004 04:33 PM EST
Some visual aid: http://www.inhs.uiuc.edu/chf/outreach/good/card4.htm
Chestnuts roasted by xWasteAwayWithMe @ 06/17/2004 04:36 PM EST
Yep, I'm another arachnophobic person but I've got a better-than-good reason for it.
I was maybe ten years old at an easter egg hunt with my extended family. The adults went out, hid the eggs around her house in the woods and then we kids would run out trying to find the elusive "golden" eggs with money in them. Money was always better than candy after all, even if they only had quarters in them at best. Sure enough I spot one between two huge bushes on the side of her house inside the drain gutter. I run in towards the egg, my mouth open screaming excitedly and not noticing the spider web that had somehow gone undisturbed by whatever adult that had placed the egg there. With perfect aim, the spider web ends up on my face and I feel a nice-sized creepy-crawly spider in my mouth. It swiftly starts running around trying to escape, those freaky little legs sending the most horrible chills down my spine as they dotted across my tongue and onto my lips... my first reaction?
I bit down.
And after that completely traumatized me, I bit down again. And again. I still don't know why I bit down that many times, but I finally realized that I should spit it out only to have a general lack of saliva provide for a nice mess of spider carcass to end up dribbling down my chin. Like any spoiled kid, it wasn't until an adult, my mom, noticed the dismembered spider-bits on my chin a few seconds later that the tears started flowing.
The worst part of that whole incident was since I was so freaked out, I didn't get the golden egg. And by the time I was ready to go hunt for more, all of the eggs were already picked.
Finally, to seal the deal, my older brother and sister forced me to watch Arachnophobia only weeks later. So now, spiders are my worst enemy and to top things off, because of how that all went, I'm terrified of even SQUISHED spiders.
Chestnuts roasted by ClunkNJ @ 06/18/2004 02:35 AM EST
I hate centipedes because once when I was eating cauliflower there was a dead centipede cooked inside one of the pieces. *shudder* Also they're just creepy.
I don't like anything that bites or stings in the way of insects. Dogs, cats, rodents etc I am fine with.
Chestnuts roasted by Purple Penguin @ 06/20/2004 10:39 AM EST
I hate EARWIGS. They freak me out!
Chestnuts roasted by Sweetie @ 06/21/2004 02:05 PM EST
I'm afraid of snakes, because I was almost bitten by one as a child. I stepped on it because I thought it was a branch lying on the ground, and it almost bit me, but my neighbor swooped me up out of the way just in time.
Chestnuts roasted by Silkenray @ 06/23/2004 02:09 AM EST
blind cave fish, i had a dream where i was in a cave and there was a bunch of them it freaked me out, i also had a dream that a helicopter crashed and me and my old lady neibour went to check it out and some chililian (whatever, people from chili) people, that had these big pigs, came out of it. and the pigs ate the old lady. then i flew into outerspace. with an orb. does that make sence?? pigs dont usually freak me out cuz threr usually just sleeping in filth, but if there all active and eating and shitting and shit, it freaks me out. they taste good though. real good huhhuh
Chestnuts roasted by danny j @ 06/24/2004 04:26 PM EST
Spiders most defentaly spiders or anything with eight or more legs for that matter.I'm not really sure where my fear of spiders comes from.All I know is that I have been afraid of them ever sence a tick decided to attach itself to my neck.Not real sure how the two things are connected but in my mind they always have been
Chestnuts roasted by 0 @ 06/26/2004 07:30 AM EST
oink
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/12/2004 10:47 PM EST
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