Go on, guess. I'll tell you tonight. Here's two clues:
REPLIES: 121 comments
First comment? w00t!
I have no idea what's in your Kinder Egg, Matt. 
Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 06/02/2004 06:41 PM EST
I don't like where "Eating dairy in a tight spot" is going...
Chestnuts roasted by pulseczar @ 06/02/2004 06:52 PM EST
Sooo glad there's a new article up. Sadly, that's the highlight of my day today. No offense Matt.
Also I don't know what's in your Kinder Egg either, riddles make my head hurt. Where did you get them anyway?
Chestnuts roasted by Stacey @ 06/02/2004 07:05 PM EST
Yay ! Matt came back, I'm sorry for doubting you Matt.
God I loved those crash test dummies, one of my favorite figures. Also I remember I lost a leg off one of them which made me so sad that I rang the distributors to see if they had any spare - They sent me one free of charge, now thats customer care.
Chestnuts roasted by Pablo @ 06/02/2004 07:06 PM EST
Sectaurs were cool, and I remember Matt covered them before.
Didn't the Dummies have their own series? Maybe not, but I thought the local Fox station aired it here.
Beware of Max Headroom masks: "On Nov. 22, 1987, video hackers managed to override the Chicago PBS station's broadcast of 'Dr. Who' for 90 seconds and replace it with a signal beamed from their secret location..." http://www.tvparty.com/unseenf.html
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/02/2004 07:16 PM EST
A letter away from rank?
Battling whiskerface?
Is the letter away "K"?
Is whiskerface Splinter?
Is it Krang?
Nah, I'm useless at riddles too... but at least I had a guess!!
Thanks Matt, you're a genius! I remember the crash test dummies game as being absoloutley rubbish. I played it when I was a kid and I'm sure it lasted all of 2 minutes. my mate bigged it up saying it was "hilarious" when he lost his legs... I, unfortunately found it quite sad and not at all hilarious... I haven't spoken to that particular friend since that incident.. although we did have a fight at school once, probably about which dummy was the best at losing limbs.
Chestnuts roasted by The Ross @ 06/02/2004 07:16 PM EST
OK, I'm thinkin' Frankenstein.
Frank is a letter away from rank
Seinfeld was obsessed with Superman
wiskerface could be the wolfman, I think they've fought before...
Chestnuts roasted by DrB @ 06/02/2004 07:32 PM EST
Well, Egg 2 is Jerry from Tom and Jerry Fame. Egg 1 I don't know.
Chestnuts roasted by goblin22 @ 06/02/2004 07:39 PM EST
Whoo! What a comeback! This is the kind of article I love to read.
Matt- the Dummies are already making a TV comeback, at least on Fox. If you watch the FoxBox Saturday morning block, you can catch some Flash-animated shorts with the new dummies (Yes, they do have names). However, they lack any sort of safety tips, and they just plain lack Vince and Larry's charm. A failed comeback, this is.
And on a sadder note, you know that one of the original duo was voiced by Lorenzo Music, right? Poor Mr. Original Garfield passed away a coupla years ago.
Chestnuts roasted by Behonkiss @ 06/02/2004 07:40 PM EST
And looking at that previous post, I've just realized that I need to cut down on the use of the word comeback.
Chestnuts roasted by Behonkiss @ 06/02/2004 07:41 PM EST
There was indeed briesfly a CGI CTD cartoon.
I also remember meeting a CTD at a thing they used to do here called Kids Fair. They had cartoon characters, mascots, and some celebrities signing autographs and giving away free junk.
Speaking of PSA's, does anyone remember when NBC did cartoons they did this thing during breaks called "One To Grow On" where celebrities from NBC shows (Michael J. Fox, Jason Bateman, Mr. T, and the occaisional movie star) would show us a scenario, talk about, and show us the consequences. The one I remember most is the "Pick up your toys or your mom will fall down the stairs and break her leg." It did have cool music and animation too.
Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 06/02/2004 07:50 PM EST
Ahh, I see. I posted before the split and thought each stanza was describing the same product. Egg 2 does definitely sound like Jerry.
I'd guess a peacock for the first... I'm not sure what else to make of the "eyes on its backside" comment. "Fowl" would be a letter away from "foul", if a peacock counts as a fowl... I dunno.
Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 06/02/2004 07:53 PM EST
Kamala pumps your gas?
Chestnuts roasted by Al @ 06/02/2004 08:08 PM EST
Heheheh
I wanna know too
And I used to have crash test dummies when i was little...=D
Chestnuts roasted by Allie @ 06/02/2004 08:09 PM EST
I fondly remember the Dummies when I was a child. I had some of the old toys. They were the kind that borke easily, I'm afraid. Except for the car, but I've lost it all now.
I remember them having a computer rendered TV special so they'd have an excuse to have villains for the toys and the video game. I believe that were made out of old spare parts or something.
Chestnuts roasted by Teirusu @ 06/02/2004 08:40 PM EST
The CGI cartoon was only a single pilot episode. Aired twice on the Fox network. But the Dummy's are back in more ways then one, as they're now appearing on the new "Fox Box" lineup, only as interstitials though. Seems like most people think the Dummys are only funny for 1 minute at a time.
Chestnuts roasted by Mike C. @ 06/02/2004 08:40 PM EST
JLAJRC, I remember the "One To Grow On" about peer pressure where the teenager is coaxed by friends to break an antenna off a car. He then finds out it was his fathers. The best one was when the kid made a Halloween mask out of a plastic bag. Those old NBC PSAs have mutated into the modern "The More You Know..." ones they have in primetime.
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/02/2004 08:51 PM EST
Oops, he finds out it was his father's new car.
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/02/2004 08:51 PM EST
It's Jerry.
You know, Tom and Jerry's Jerry.
Chestnuts roasted by Discharger @ 06/02/2004 09:04 PM EST
Great article! I remember these two suckers from their commercial and then more, uh, hyped cartoon as well. Enjoyed the Sectaurs too! As always, thanks for the new article and keep that nastalgia comin'!
~Ambition makes you look pretty ugly.
Chestnuts roasted by Mugzy. . . @ 06/02/2004 09:37 PM EST
I had a boatload of the original Crash Dummy figures, including All the bad guys, two cars, two motorcycles, the dog and cat, the plane, the ATV and the fat one whose eyes bugged out. Spare Tire, as he was named.
Anyway, yes, smashing the figures repeatedly into walls did tend to break their delicate interior springs, meaning that their heads would never stay in again. This meant that, over the course of the series, we ended up buying about fifty figures. Also, as with every other toy I ever had, I managed to lose all the pieces.
The bad guys were kinda neat looking, being made up of old car parts and abandoned Dummy limbs, but they didn't pop apart, so, really, what was the point?
Anyway, yes, I remember the CGI Dummies show, as I had it on video. I have no idea where we got it; probably it came with one of the figures. I used to watch that thing all the damn time.
It still takes me a few seconds to remember my phone number, but I can sing the Crash Dummies theme song: "When there's no hope in sight, the crash crash dummies will make things right..."
Chestnuts roasted by The Waffle Man @ 06/02/2004 09:45 PM EST
Jesus, that brought back recently resurfaced memories. We had to watch a movie on trafic safety (not one of those crappy outdated Driver's Ed ones with celebrities from 10 years ago, a network television-quality one) for a science 24 unit on physics (cleverly disguised as "Driver Safety"
. The movie, near the end, had a voice-overdubbed copy of the classic ads. I knew that everyone in my class remembered the ads, they were just too afraid to admit it. It made my face turn bright red.
Chestnuts roasted by G. Tubman @ 06/02/2004 09:50 PM EST
Whatever is in those eggs can't possibly be better than Frostor, the Kinder Warrior from whom I take my name.
Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 06/02/2004 10:12 PM EST
Yeah, I recall the CGI cartoon. If I remember right, it was about an evil crash dummy that steals the body of another Crash Dummy. See, the Crash Dummies lived in a society in a strange world where crashing cars was fun. Hurray!
Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 06/02/2004 10:14 PM EST
I never got into the Incredible Crash Dummies toys,as they were a little after my time (I was in high school when they came out,IIRC). I do remember a Crash Dummies doll being seen in the movie Airheads,when Steve Bushemi and Adam Sandler are in a Toys R Us.
I remember those 'One To Grow On' PSAs NBC had,also. One I remember the most was Charlotte Rae (Mrs. Garret) telling kids not to eat so much.
Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 06/02/2004 10:21 PM EST
Yea, but the "More you know" PSA's are aimed at the adults (read to your kids, know who their friends are, go to their conferences, etc.) The ones aimed at kids are more fun to watch.
The one PSA's are fricking hate are the TRUTH ones about smoking and cancer. Those are annoying as heck.
Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 06/02/2004 10:49 PM EST
Ah I remember my crash dummies toys. The most memorable was the crashable taxi, which is better than the toy you got sans the screaming death noise part. When those old Dummy toys exploded it wasnt just a "fold back toghether" thing like with what you got there, you had to get parts from all over the room, and sadly sometimes they got lost. But thats part of the fun. I also had the dummy airplane, which I believe came with a VHS tape of the original CG-Cartoon, with ol Junk Bot as the badguy, whom I had a figure of, sadley he didnt explode or anything but you could take him apart. I also had the crash test center, which was basically a big flat piece of plastic with a opening wall you could crash through, and a solid wall that measured how hard you could fuck the vehicle up. I loved those toys, as for figures, I can only remember having Junkbot, Jackhammer, Tad..Tod something like that, and I think Vince, for whatever reason Larry didnt make it to the cartoon, I remember the themesong and how much it rocked, unfortunatley Larry was not mentioned but VInce was, I think his new buddy was named Spin or something along those lines. Hmm.. I remember way too much without actually still having any of this stuff. BTW Great article Matt, do you have any recollection of those monster truck toys that like... turned into fucking monsters? Had like a lever in the back if you pushed it the front of the hood opened iwth a mouth full of sharp monster truck mad teeth. I had like one of em, wonderin if anyone else was more of an enthusiest.
Chestnuts roasted by Mr. S @ 06/02/2004 11:07 PM EST
I <3 kinder eggs. And crashtest dummies.
Chestnuts roasted by Erin @ 06/02/2004 11:08 PM EST
I love your articles and glad you're finally back.. and I know it's nothing you can help, but some of those pics blurrier than an old magnavox.
Chestnuts roasted by The Blue Meanie @ 06/02/2004 11:08 PM EST
Man, it's about time someone notices the CTD comeback. And Matt, your just the one to do it. I remember I was at a yard sale, and I was picking up some Ghostbuster toys, and they also had this whole table covered with CTD toys. They had the cars, the little dummy figures, pretty much everything.
Oh, by the way, this is my first time posting.
Chestnuts roasted by Vinz Clortho @ 06/02/2004 11:27 PM EST
I found some unidentifiable toys in my closet and am happy to now know they were Sectaurs. Mine was a handpuppet spider-thing with a torso (back-side, I think a bug's torso is his ass) made of what looks like and feels like real hair.
Chestnuts roasted by Hork @ 06/02/2004 11:27 PM EST
the wings on the sectaur bug mounts broke too easily. because of this wack workmanship the coolest toy i have ever owned lasted a good day. i had forgotten how depressing that was.
thanks for ruining my day. if it weren't for those psa's i'd go take a drive without a seatbelt now.
Chestnuts roasted by brendan @ 06/02/2004 11:36 PM EST
kinder eggs suprise I have no idea. When I was in honor society the supervising teacher had the group participate in a "saftey fair" and she would get 2 kids to dress up as the crash test dummies. Their costumes were worse than the ones Matt showed. They looked like a low quality verson of the CTD halloween costume that was made in the mid 90s.
Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 06/02/2004 11:53 PM EST
If Kamala pumps your gas, does Kimchee wash your windshield? It'd be a shame of he doesn't. I hate nothing more than seeing unemployed masked safari leaders.
Chestnuts roasted by King Shazbot @ 06/02/2004 11:55 PM EST
Do you remember the Car Crash Dummies TV movie? It was done in really crappy CGI. Something about a mad scientist...
Chestnuts roasted by Lucky Cat @ 06/02/2004 11:58 PM EST
O.o i think teh first one is spider... and teh second one is jerry from tom and jerry... my thoughts lol anyways first time posting here matt your a genius ^^ you deserve an award and your own god damn tv show. X'D
Chestnuts roasted by Majin @ 06/03/2004 12:32 AM EST
For the first one I'm gona guess a skunk, although that's 2 letters away from rank, but it does smell foul.
Chestnuts roasted by Bright Noah @ 06/03/2004 12:35 AM EST
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!I have been killing myself trying to remember the name of the human/insect guys (the guy that came with the flying glove critter, another bad guy with a shiny round green head, and a good guy wearing blue and white with his legs broekn off and rubber banded to him) for a week now! I just found three of them mixed in a bag along with some old She-Ra's, rubber bands and shower curtain rings (don't ask) in a duffel bag in my closet.
Chestnuts roasted by Dragon @ 06/03/2004 01:00 AM EST
I so remember that one to grow on ad with the kid wrecking the antenna. Kinda weird but its one of those things thats stuck with me for a long time and I'm reminded of it every once and a while. I think it was the bad acting
Chestnuts roasted by SuperStar @ 06/03/2004 01:12 AM EST
I had one of the Crash dummy airplanes. It was one of my favorite toys as a kid. Unfortunately, I lost one of the engine cover pieces, and it's just not as much fun anymore.
I remember the figures being REALLY trigger happy. Any slight movement would cause them to fall apart. Really a poor, cheap design.
Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 06/03/2004 02:15 AM EST
Yes, the monster trucks that changed into weird animals were called "Attack Pack". The story was that a bunch of monster truck drivers were hit with a meteor (Or toxic waste, or gamma rays, or whatever) and bonded with their monster trucks, as well as with an animal. Apparently they liked to drive around the Serengheti in monster trucks.
The first run had three normal sized good guys (Who turned into a Tiger, a Scorpion and a Tarantula) and three normal sized bad guys (Who became a Rat, a Bat, and a Hyena with a face on its tongue. I don't quite remember what the rationale for that was), as well as two super-sized vehicles, one each for the good guys and the bad guys. The good guy super vehicle had a crane that it could use to put bad guys in a little jail cell on its back, but I don't remember what gimmick the giant bad guy had.
For some reason the leader vehicles on both sides were the lamest, having no gimmick except for being trucks with mouths. The other guys had things like bat wings or scorpion claws or a tongue with a face on it.
Anyway, for a while there that was all there were, but eventually the line did well enough to include airplanes and spaceships, who as I recall had bonded with plants, rather then animals.
Anyway, despite being popular enough to be included in a Happy Meal, they don't really seem to have any kind of presence at all on the internet.
Chestnuts roasted by The Waffle Man @ 06/03/2004 02:32 AM EST
Oh, also, my recollection was that the lead Dummies in the cartoon were called Slick and Spin rather then Vince and Larry.
Chestnuts roasted by The Waffle Man @ 06/03/2004 02:35 AM EST
I had that original crash test dummies car. It served as an excellent vehicle for when Lando Calrissian, and Cobra Commander hit the sauce a little to hard and should have called a friend, handed over the keys, or taken a cab. It served as a solemn reminder to those Joe and Stormtroopers that Alcohol and driving, while exciting, shouldn't be mixed.
Chestnuts roasted by Former A1C Pete @ 06/03/2004 02:52 AM EST
I'm glad someone besides me notices their short cartoon skits on the fox-box. I REALLY hope that there doing that to build popularity so they can return to doing safety messages. I know the era of weird PSAs is over, but It would SUCK to have the dummies back without them returning to their roots.
Speaking of which, Matt, Is there any chance that the old "dark" Crash Dummies PSAs will make their way on your '80s commercials section? I loved those as a child and, I'd REALLY love to see those again.
Chestnuts roasted by Tetsu Deinonychus @ 06/03/2004 04:08 AM EST
I just bought at my local wal-mart a crash test dummies figure!!!It's very similar to the original(you can press a button and explode them) but they're more cheaply made.But hey,who cares?THOSE ARE THE FRIGGIN CRASH TEST DUMMIES!!!!!!!
Chestnuts roasted by paul the wine guy @ 06/03/2004 06:24 AM EST
I had the Crash Test Dummies toys! I wish I still had them as they were some of the cooler toys for me. There was nothing like crashing a car into the wall, having it crunch up, and watching the dummies fly through the windshield with their limbs popping off. Good stuff.
Chestnuts roasted by Lauren @ 06/03/2004 06:29 AM EST
I loved Sectaurs when I was a kid. I had both of those puppets with the flapping wings. The wings broke a lot, but I still had fun with them.
And I remember the crash test dummies as well. I love toys that you can take apart and put together again, even if you'd keep losing parts like I would with the dummies. I also remember a radio ad where Vince and Larry did their own rendition of "On The Road Again" which was pretty funny.
Chestnuts roasted by Number5 @ 06/03/2004 06:38 AM EST
To anyone who enjoyed VH1's I Love the 80's miniseries- Guess what? I Love the 90's is coming July 11th. Get the tapes ready.
Chestnuts roasted by Behonkiss @ 06/03/2004 07:24 AM EST
The new ones are a lot cheaper. Also they have weird faces. The new ones are gay.
Chestnuts roasted by zombone @ 06/03/2004 08:07 AM EST
I remember going to... I think it was fair, and they had the Crash Test dummies there. I was only about 4, and I was curious. I thought, they being dummies, NOTHING could hurt them. So I walked up to one of them randomly and pretty much punched him in the stomach. My punch wasn't tough enough for an adult, so he seemed painless. So I tried on the next dummy. This time, a kick in the danger zone. SUCCESS! The dummy was in pain. *sigh* goodtimes.
Chestnuts roasted by Chachi_Danger @ 06/03/2004 09:14 AM EST
I've seen the New Crash Dummies toy commercials too much.
There's 4 of them...Crash, Crunch, Gyro...and one other one whos name escapes me.
The commercials do mention to buckle up, but not in the same way as the old Crash Test Dummies do.
Oh, and I would personally like to see a review of that old CGI Crash Test Dummies pilot episode sometime, if possible.
Chestnuts roasted by Chris Waters @ 06/03/2004 10:06 AM EST
I think they did change the names of the characters on the cartoon, because I think they got sued or something.
The toys were called Vince and Larry in the first series, but were quickly replaced by recolored characters named Slick and Spin. I also remember people being angry about the pets getting squished, but those have strangely made it back in the new series, so people must have gotten over that.
I do remember the springs quickly breaking on the toys and them not staying together. I also remember absolutely hating the videogame after only playing it for like an hour. It was an hour of my life I'll never get back.
Chestnuts roasted by CaseyJones @ 06/03/2004 10:11 AM EST
I loved the CTD Nintendo game where you jump off a building to the street below.
How that helped kids remember to buckle-up, I have no idea!
Chestnuts roasted by Sweetie Guy @ 06/03/2004 10:12 AM EST
I remeber the orgional toy once you smashed it there would be a thousand pieces every where and you would be lucky if you found them all. And i remeber the crash dummy cartoon they gave out with the toys, real crazy.
Chestnuts roasted by RabidDecay @ 06/03/2004 11:50 AM EST
I always wanted Bumper and Hubcat, the crash dummy pets. They came together on the first go-round, but now they're part of an accessories pack deal. I want squishable pets.
First we have visits from Gozer, now Vinz Clortho. If Vigo shows up, I'm finding a shelter to hide in until the pocky-lips is over.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 06/03/2004 12:01 PM EST
Didn't they have a crash "baby" figure for the first release of the Crash Test Dummies car? A buddy of mine had the car and the kid's name was "Skid the Kid".. I'm sure of it!
Chestnuts roasted by Moparman @ 06/03/2004 12:46 PM EST
yeah that egg is definetly Jerry but it was only obvious after a blogger stated it.
it's a letter away from rank
that is to say it's foul
many eyes on it's backside
and you've never heard one howl
I keep thinking owl for some reason.
chicken maybe?
I tried looking at online kindertoy catalogues for more clues, and came across ebay listings...there are people selling the turtle and crocs and they ain't moving past 99cents but unopened are selling for 20.
Chestnuts roasted by Bitsy&Roary @ 06/03/2004 12:53 PM EST
I never got into the Crash Test Dummies. The PSAs made me learn my lesson, I never bought the toys and I really don't like the new Crash Test Dummies. The little 3 minute cartoons just kill the whole point of the dummies. they're not teaching kids to buckel their seatbelts. Isn't that the whole point?
Chestnuts roasted by The Dragonrider @ 06/03/2004 01:08 PM EST
Speaking of PSAs, did anyone else get creeped out by the robot one? remember? this bronze robot would do acrobatics around some machines with blades, get her arm hacked off, then re-attach it, and say "I'm astro. A robot. I can put my arm back on. You can't, so play safe." *shudder*
Also, this is proabbly old news, but if you havent seen any redubbed GI JOE psas, look here: www.fenslerfilm.com
they are hil-ar-ri-ous
Chestnuts roasted by Bitsy&Roary @ 06/03/2004 01:16 PM EST
Yeah, there was a baby..I forgot about that little guy.
Chestnuts roasted by zombone @ 06/03/2004 01:39 PM EST
I think the first clue is an owl...maybe.
Chestnuts roasted by zombone @ 06/03/2004 01:42 PM EST
Do you guys remember the Flinstone Kids seatbelt psa with the sorta catchy song?
One to grow on was cool.
Chestnuts roasted by JLAJRC @ 06/03/2004 01:48 PM EST
"The toys were called Vince and Larry in the first series, but were quickly replaced by recolored characters named Slick and Spin" Ah yeah, Slick and Spin, howd I confuse Vince with SLick? Well if anyone remembers how smooth the guy sang the theme song it coulda been Poop and still sounded like Vince or Spin or something like that.
I've seen the new dummies cartoons, and am relieved that there not making a new 30 minute show like I first thought when I first saw the shorts. To me they (new dummies) look like psychopathic pedophiles,but thats just me?
Chestnuts roasted by Mr. S @ 06/03/2004 02:55 PM EST
Oh yeah, about the big evil guy Attack Pack car, I had one of those as a kid, I remember it was like a bright green hummer type car, hood was the mouth, and I think it shot missles and maybe had a little catapult for slinging buckets of slime.
Chestnuts roasted by Mr. S @ 06/03/2004 02:57 PM EST
"...a letter away from rank"
How is "peacock" a letter away from rank? I'm admittedly retarded when it comes to riddles, but USUALLY the answer makes sense. Yeah, yeah, eyes on it's back and all, but RANK? I got nothin'.
Chestnuts roasted by Niles @ 06/03/2004 02:59 PM EST
P-e-e-C-o-c-k get it. That would be "rank" as in dis-gus-ting. Yuck yuck chortle chortle
Chestnuts roasted by Blah...blah @ 06/03/2004 03:06 PM EST
Yeah- my brother and I had an old Crash Test Dummy car that really frickin exploded on impact! It was great....but kinda made me ENJOY car crashes.....is this wrong?
Chestnuts roasted by Goonie @ 06/03/2004 03:20 PM EST
Bitsy&Roary- YES! That damn "ASTRO- 'I CAN PUT MY ARM BACK ON, YOU CAN'T- SO PLAY SAFE" Ad also freaked the hell out of me!! Scary stuff.....I also had and LOVED the Crash Test Dummies car the Exploded real good. When my brother bought it, I thought he was stupid- after all, the crash test dummies were NOT cool....one crash of that magical car proved me wrong....just proved me WRONG.
Chestnuts roasted by Muppet Baby @ 06/03/2004 03:23 PM EST
in their psa i'm preety sure that rapped about wearing a seatbelt
they looked like they were drunk cause they couldn't even stand up right oh well
Chestnuts roasted by cat @ 06/03/2004 04:39 PM EST
I remember those Crash Test Dummy toys, but always thought they were just a toyline. Weird.
I had the cat and the dog. Now that I think about it, it was pretty disturbing to own a pair of toys that you could pretend were roadkill.
Uh...I also used to love the Attack Pack vehicles. Later they brached out into planes and army vehicles; I still have the AP pterodactyl plane, rat truck, and rattlesnake truck
Chestnuts roasted by incisivis @ 06/03/2004 04:53 PM EST
ohh man, i had soo much crash dummy shit when i was younger, i remember having both blue and red cars, the aeroplane and an orange motorcycle, every once and a while ill find a scrap of plastic long lost from my once epic collection of crash characters
Chestnuts roasted by Ryder @ 06/03/2004 05:41 PM EST
i still have the cgi tape, tho i got it from a thrift store.
this particular thiftstore seems to be a foxkids promotape dumping ground, about a mounth ago they had a huge box of foxbox tapes with teasers for the new ninja turtles on em
Chestnuts roasted by drinking irish tonight @ 06/03/2004 05:52 PM EST
Matt's previous Sectaurs articles:
http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/323.html
http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/626.html
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/03/2004 05:58 PM EST
Actually, the toys had nothing to do with the commercials. They were orignally the crash dummies, but the makers of vince and larry sued them and they replaced vince and larry with slick and spin. The name was then changed to "the incredible" crash dummies. In 1996, tyco was bought by mattel. Who makes hot wheels, which is why the new hot wheels crash dummies are the 'incredible' crash dummies.
the toys lasted 2 series's, the originals and the second with the 'junkmen' being the bad guys. Also, they had a 3rd series in production but it was scrapped, but they were released in limited numbers in south america, some times they are still sold on ebay because after tyco got bought, mattel was selling everything from the factorys at low prices. Hope this clarifys stuff for you matt!
Chestnuts roasted by Henry @ 06/03/2004 06:04 PM EST
That would certainly explain the dichotomy of it all -- I was close, but you've hit the nail. Thanks for the info, Henry.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/03/2004 06:05 PM EST
WHAT WHAT WHAT?? i totally forgot about the crash dummy toys and commercials! nice article!
Also, matt mentioned TV spots in about safety, some with michael j fox and crack... but..
Does anybody remember a cartoon against smoking cigarettes? There were the ninja turtles, garfield, alvin and the chipmunks, and a whole other shitload of cartoon characters trying to teach the dangers of smoking?
i remembered watching it from a local library, I cant seem to find anything online about it though... anyone?
Chestnuts roasted by Freud Savage @ 06/03/2004 06:34 PM EST
Silly Savage, it's called "Cartoon All-Stars To The Rescue," and I've written about it. Search for "all-stars" on the main page search box.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/03/2004 06:56 PM EST
The Crash Dummies were cool. I remember them. They even had a TV special that ran on Saturday morning, completely done in 3d computer animation. Anyone remember it?
Chestnuts roasted by Bert Raccoon @ 06/03/2004 08:57 PM EST
Scroll up, Bert. Many do.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/03/2004 09:04 PM EST
My brother had the CTD toys (a few), but due to the poor quality (as mentioned by many!), they were not favourites. The sectaurs, on the other hand... I remember many fun times with them, especially seeing if the ones with wings could fly well from his second floor bedroom windows into the yard (nope!). That was how the screen got a big hole in it - and caused the "no throwing toys out the window" rule to take effect. The wings were cool, though, especially the ones that were slightly irridescent. Neat.
Not sure about the timeframe, but seem to remember thinking that the sectaurs were sort of a rip off/spin off of the transformers.
Chestnuts roasted by RainbowBrite @ 06/03/2004 10:26 PM EST
Wow. This takes me back. I still have a rediculous amount of CTD stuff in my basement, the car, plane, a bike or two, and about a dozen random figures.
And yes, the VHS for the pilot came packed with some of the figures, similar to the new He-Man figures.
Now I'm inspired to go search Ebay again with an empty wallet. I must have Hubcat.
Another thing that wasn't mentioned so far was that they had a short lived comic book series as well, based on the Junkman storyline.
Personally, I think that any effort to bring back old properties is great, but does anyone else think the new spots look like someone took 5 minutes in Flash to cobble them together?
Chestnuts roasted by Ian, Just Ian @ 06/03/2004 10:54 PM EST
I too recal vagule the "Incridable Crash Test Dummies" series, it was crude 3-D animation (back when all 3-D animation was pretty crude). I also recall the dummes in the catoon fought "Junkman" a insane prottype dummy who was seeking the "ultimate" indestuctable Dummy chest as the dummy's main "mission" was to test things and make sure they survived it.
And lo-and-behold the Dummies are back, now called just the "Incredable Crash Dummies" they have a new action figure line with distructable veichels and all. Pluse on Saterday morning they start in skits shown on Foxbox, it 2-d animation and usualy involved the dummies testing some new crash device or some such with a humorous out come. Ie, Testing the dangers to parked cars the testing dummy complains "parked cars aren't in any danger" and he finds out he's parked inside a car crushed, or one dummy tricks the others into a cannon telling them it won't fire, and seconds before he shoots them out one mentions it wouldn't fire empty(thus the reason they got tricked inside). Vice and Larry aren't the dummies nor are "Slick and Spin" instead thier are 4 dummies Crash, Crunch, Gyro and Splice. I've actualy fund the skits quite clever and well thier not trying to be anything but throw away gags.
Chestnuts roasted by James Cole @ 06/03/2004 11:19 PM EST
The best ever crash test dummies spot was the one where they rapped back in like 1987. They were old skool b-boyz from the hood, yo.
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 06/04/2004 03:07 AM EST
man i just crammed a 2 headed king dong up my tailpipe...mmm hmmm it is smooth sailing the rest of the night!
about time we got an update around here
Chestnuts roasted by Romeo Jones @ 06/04/2004 05:33 AM EST
I had a ton of Attack Pack toys back in the day, and I've actually been trying to remember the name of the line for weeks. Thanks guys! Maybe you can help me out some more. I had a few more of the car-based toys of the time, including the battery-operated, partially-morphable Carzillas. But there were these things....they looked like hideous monsters from the deepest pits of hell, but they rolled along on wheels with legs attatched to the wheels so they looked like they were really crawling around. Any ideas?
Chestnuts roasted by Darc_Humor @ 06/04/2004 12:33 PM EST
But yeah, the Crash Dummies rocked. I remember my family was on vacation once, and we stopped at a Citgo, and my brother and I recieved CTD Adventure Packs, each consisting of an activity book filled with awful puns, and an exclusive Citgo-uniform CTD figure! Sweet! Oh yeah, and Sectaurs rocked. As a kid, I had the bee-puppet with rider, and the green-and-black dude who was apparently the head guard at Spidrax's stronghold. And a firefly and fruit fly, with flappy wings, that clipped onto their backs.
Chestnuts roasted by Darc_humor @ 06/04/2004 12:39 PM EST
Hey MUPPET BABY thank god I'm not alone. Word to the wise...don't try and relate it to any of the newer generation because they replaced that psa with a really lame computer anitmation version of it! they'll just laugh and call you a wuss. Trust me, I know from experience.
Chestnuts roasted by Bitsy&Roary @ 06/04/2004 12:41 PM EST
I still have my favorite Sectaur, the evil guardsman, his antennae long since reduced to a triangular stump, his rifle and bandolier undoubtably not originally his, his arms replaced with some other Sectaur's purpley mitts, which I colored black because the purple looked ridiculous on his still-lustruos dark green body. It sucked, too...I was trying to wash the guy out after a tough battle in the sandbox, and one of his arms popped off as they often do, only it went down the drain! Gah! I had to cannibalize my next Sectaur find years later to repair him. Dammit. I actually still have his remaining original arm in a drawer somewhere.
Chestnuts roasted by Darc_humor @ 06/04/2004 12:47 PM EST
I think I'll shut up now. People are probably getting sick of my rambling, and I should get back to what I was doing. Betcha can't guess what that is! Go on, guess. but first, answer my question! What were the crawling, wheeled beasts of my youth? Mine was bronze-colored with a really big mouth and hideous little shriveled limbs, if that helps. It died years later, grinning its creepy grin even as I lit the Flasher Button within its cavernous jaws.
Chestnuts roasted by Darc_humor @ 06/04/2004 12:58 PM EST
Based on Crap
Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 06/04/2004 02:16 PM EST
Those fuckers used to be at the State Fair waving and posing next to a wrecked car! ...those fuckers...
Chestnuts roasted by MalevolentMogwai @ 06/04/2004 03:58 PM EST
If anyone is interested in the action figures, let me know. I have a whole box of six different ones (from the first series, NOT the later "Junkyard Wars" ones) that are in sealed baggies. I'm located close to the old Tyco factory in Mt. Laurel, NJ. In fact, Mattel bought out Tyco, so they've always had the rights to do the figures. Anyway, drop me a line through my webpage.
Chestnuts roasted by Darth Monkey @ 06/04/2004 06:50 PM EST
what no commertial download? Come on Matt,pleeeeease. I dont wanna sleep no more,I want Larry and Vince to haunt me again.
Chestnuts roasted by Dolph Lundgren @ 06/04/2004 07:57 PM EST
I was rather sure Kamala had become a pig farmer, actually...
Chestnuts roasted by Creature SH @ 06/04/2004 10:28 PM EST
I'm a huge Crash Dummy nut. The only new stuff I can mention is...
-The old line had plush dolls of Slick, Spin, Hubcat, and the dog (I could never find his toy as a kid, so I dont know his name) with velco limbs. They were the best because you could totally perform Mortal Kombat fatalities on them.
-The new Crash Dummy figures' actions:
Crash (blue, red (variant))- Classic falling apart, but entirely plastic (the old figures had cheap plastic nubs held in place with sharp metal wire. They broke very easily).
Splice (red, orange (variant)) - Splits in half (You can make two different dummies by combining the halves between the two color variations. Even though Splice is obviously supposed to be 'the crazy dummy', he's the mechanic in the cartoon shorts.)
Crunch (yellow)- Head retracts into neck (though if you try to do it the way they do it on the commercial, you'll break the damn thing. Despite blatantly being 'the cowardly mechanic dummy', he's a happy-go-lucky masochist in the animated shorts.)
Gyro (gray)- head and legs spin (He does it really fast, so it totally sucks. His prankster-asshole personality on the animated shorts really fits).
Nameless dummies included with vehicles Head pops up.
-The new toys are actually quite inexpensive given other toy prices today:
(in US dollars)
Single figures/pets: $5
Small vehicles: $10
Large vehicles: $20 (I've seen them as low as $14 though...)
-The new dog figure (SpeedBump) is the only pet figure who can lift his back leg up seperatly from his front (so he can pee on stuff)
Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 06/04/2004 10:33 PM EST
Oh. My. God. When the hell was the last time I saw these. I had like the entire frikkin collection of these. My favorite was the baby who would fly out of the carriage when it hit into the wall, and it also turned into a carseat that fit in the cars if ya wanted to launch a little baby through a windshield. Like me. Sweet, sweet memories...
Chestnuts roasted by MasterGracey @ 06/04/2004 10:40 PM EST
Okay, Im still waiting for the end to the Chia Plot...I've yet to give up hope...
Chestnuts roasted by Tree @ 06/05/2004 05:27 AM EST
There used to be a time where I couldn't watch cartoons on a Fox afiliate without seeing the Dummies.
Hey, maybe they're writing "Car Mechanics for Dummies" or something!
My sense of humor sucks.
Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 06/05/2004 07:21 AM EST
Everything that can be said about the Crash Dummies already has, so let me add...there was a Sectaurs cartoon? I remember comic, toys (didn't collect either), and the Bijou-style serial commercials using the toys, but not a cartoon.
"I Love the 80's" raped my childhood! How can you call He-Man gay when it was obvious to everyone that there was tension between him and Teela. Haven't fans said that for years? Alf is "ribbed for your pleasure"? Man, I hate that Hal Sparks guy. First he ruined Talk Soup, then this! And I still want to find the dope who said Transformers should have been called Transexuals and smack him upside the head with that badly transformed Ultra Magnus!
Sorry, I've been wanting to vent that for a while. "Strikes Back" and "...the 70's" were better, but they actually found people who were kids at the time, and showed less Hal Sparks! (Who for the record ranks only slightly above Carrot Top.)
Chestnuts roasted by ShadowWing the Technorganic Autobot @ 06/05/2004 09:26 AM EST
yea i loved those things used to play with them all the time.Though the old ones are much better whats fun abou a head poppoing out?Legs and arms flying everywhere now thats real fun
Chestnuts roasted by Mr.Fun @ 06/05/2004 04:51 PM EST
I have the video somewhere around here. Although in my later days with using VHS, I had a bad habit of taping over everything. I really regret ever doing that now because I used to have some great shit.
Chestnuts roasted by Tim-E @ 06/05/2004 05:00 PM EST
Well its about time the Crash Test Dummies made a full article appearance here, I've been waiting too long for it. And I was not dissappointed. Tastefully done as always. Thanks
Chestnuts roasted by Dcleenr @ 06/06/2004 10:51 AM EST
Anyone know where I can download some of the early Crash Dummies PSAs, or any other creepy PSAs? Thanks.
Chestnuts roasted by Michael Flynn @ 06/06/2004 02:07 PM EST
My original hopes for this article were that there would have been a background song by the Crash Test Dummies - Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm, GOOD!
I don't where Jerseys I'm 30 plus, gimme a crisp pair of jeans nigga, button-ups!
Chestnuts roasted by Mugzy. . . @ 06/06/2004 02:17 PM EST
the only ICTD toy I had was the same rip apart doll that appeared in Airheads but the velcro gave out before too long and the only part I have now is the poor guys head stuffed in a box in my basement. I also loved Sectaurs and like most of us here had the handpuppet bug monsters But I also was the proud owner of the only big wheel that was cooler than my bratty neighbors transformers one the almighty Sectuars big wheel! was basically a big wheel with the head of Spidrax hand puppet COMPLETE WITH FLAPPING WINGS! Sadly The right wing got snapped off during a tense big wheel race between me and the previously mentioned brat neighbor when I clipped the street light cuz I was busy looking back and gloating at the win. I later yanked the left one off just so it wouldn't look stupid anymore
Chestnuts roasted by KryptAngel @ 06/06/2004 06:19 PM EST
nice article. i can remember owning a vast array of CTD toys, including a large playset that had a number of crashing stations including one with a chair that a crash test dummy action figure could be seated in and, at the push of a button, would but hurled into a brick wall. apparently this was used to illustrate the danger of not buckling up when you sit in any chair, lest they get inexplicably thrown into a wall. although i would imagine buckling up would not save you from injury in that situation. i did learn that if i were to be thrown into a brick wall that my arms, legs, and head would fire from their sockets.
id also like to note that that one photo with the two dummies holding the orange seat belt check sign was taken at my local mall in South Portland, Maine. The tell-tale sign was the crappy 20-year-old cylindrical sheraton hotel that can barely be seen in the background. i found this interesting because photos from the state of Maine dont often just pop up anywhere.
Chestnuts roasted by conman16x @ 06/06/2004 10:59 PM EST
I remember having the crash test dummy toys. I think they lasted for about a week before I crashed their car one too many times. I remember my father saying "why the hell would you buy a toy just to break it?"
As for the sectaurs, I remember very little about them, except for having the main good and evil characters, and having this one smaller insect that looked like an 8 legged dog. Pretty wacky stuff but very cool at the same time
Chestnuts roasted by pete @ 06/07/2004 06:56 AM EST
From some random website (Googled ICD)
CHARACTER BIOS
Crash - Crash is the blue Dummy and is the Chielf of the Incredible Crash Dummies. He is usually found banging into walls with cars and even other dangerous stuff. Crash doesn't seem to care when he slams himself in a 700-Mile Per Hour speeding car into a brick wall.
Splice - Splice is the red Dummy who is usually testing out explosive things. Splice is a big trickster who likes to play pranks on the other Dummies. When Splice feels like he needs a nice hard crash or explosion he'll usually go insane and lose a few body parts.
Crunch - Crunch is the yellow Dummy who has no fear, but when this Dummy takes a hard hit he is usually crunched. That's why his name is Crunch. Crunch does not care when he gets a big bang he just simply smiles.
Gyro - Gyro is the white Dummy and he tends to very dumb even though they pretty much all are. Gyro is usually testing the most dangerous things and doesn't feel a thing, but he can see a lot like a broken arm.
Chestnuts roasted by saber_pv @ 06/07/2004 09:04 AM EST
We had crash test dummies... once on vacation we forgot the poker chips so we bet body parts instead.
Chestnuts roasted by Kim @ 06/07/2004 03:17 PM EST
Don't y'all about the band named after this dynamic duo and their hit single "Mmmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmm"?
Once there was a boy whose parents made him come directly right home after school....
Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 06/08/2004 02:48 AM EST
Don't y'all forget about the band named after this dynamic duo and their hit single "Mmmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmm"?
Once there was a boy whose parents made him come directly right home after school....
Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 06/08/2004 02:48 AM EST
Don't y'all forget about the band named after this dynamic duo and their hit single "Mmmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmm"
Once there was a boy whose parents made him come directly right home after school....
Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 06/08/2004 02:49 AM EST
I apologize for having three straight posts like that, damned Adelphia cable...
Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 06/08/2004 02:50 AM EST
Crash test dummies...
reminds me of a freaky dream I had when I was like 6. I was playing at the top of the stairs with my crash test dummy toys (yeah, they were awesome) and one of them fell from the second story, so I went to go get it, but I fell too. It was more frightening when I was a lot younger.
Chestnuts roasted by Ryan @ 06/10/2004 04:23 PM EST
Oh wow. I remember there was a crash test dummies T.V show. I taped one episode that was HILARIOUS! I used to love that show.
Chestnuts roasted by Lena K14 @ 07/01/2004 02:27 PM EST
Well, I just got one Ebay lot of stuff. Too bad that most of the figures inexplicably have at least one body part missing.
The only complete one is the classic purple Spin (or is it Slick?).
Still, at least I have Hubcat and a mostly working Skid the Kid.
Also, as a desperate plea: are there ANY Crash Test Dummies fan sites out there? I'd love to know if there was a toy guide or something.
Chestnuts roasted by Ian, Just Ian @ 07/01/2004 03:50 PM EST
you website sucks ass
Chestnuts roasted by Abigaile @ 10/18/2004 08:29 PM EST
you website sucks
Chestnuts roasted by Abigaile @ 10/18/2004 08:29 PM EST
you website sucks
Chestnuts roasted by Abigaile @ 10/18/2004 08:29 PM EST
you website sucks
Chestnuts roasted by Abigaile @ 10/18/2004 08:30 PM EST
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Chestnuts roasted by campaign finance @ 11/05/2004 09:31 AM EST
Sorry about the lack of updates lately -- I've got some stuff going on that's eating away at my net time, but hopefully that'll all be figured out soon. I'm vague out of necessity, believe me. Anyways, there's a new article up, finally bringing the infamous 
