05/17/2004 Entry: "X-E goes miniature golfing!"

Heyyy, we went miniature golfing. The "Safari Amusement Park," featuring a course littered with dirt and broken animal statues, has long delighted the locals around these parts with its charming blend of pastel-colored golf balls and a mysterious "19th Hole" tucked away inside a Tiki hut. They've also got gas-powered bumper cars, and they're very proud of this fact. Not the best mini golf course in the world, not the worst mini golf course in the world, but it's the only one I've seen with anatomically correct lion statues. Share in the adventure.

Chestnuts roasted by G. Tubman @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Great article. I haven't been mini-golfing in a long time, but I think I'll ahve to now. I wish the m.g. at Mall of America was still open, nice place - but they replaced it with Cereal Adventures (a theme park for General Mills cereals) which is about 1/100 as interesting as you'd think it be.

Chestnuts roasted by Emperor_Zorak @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Matt have you ever been threatened to be sued for slander? And if you're a true masochist at heart (and you must be), you should try Biss Tours. Old people in unexotic places equals fun.

Chestnuts roasted by skiwlz @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

I would have payed the 6 bucks just to marvel at the lion asshole, and maybe carve my own piece of history in one of the fake hippos.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Hey... the shoe in picture 26 looks a lot like mine! Laces or buckles?

Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

There is a mini golf place i used to go as a kid. In lieu of making the course difficult by making twists and turns, they just had this hole with a very steep anthill with the cup on top. If you didnt get it on the first try forget it, you were gonna hit that ball 300 times. The only good thing about the course was the arcade attached to it. It had NARC.

Chestnuts roasted by fix up look sharp @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

I should be so lucky to have taped-together m.g clubs - my local features a length of hardened garden hose with a club head (is that what they're called?) stuck in the end. I shit you not.

Chestnuts roasted by Louis Tully @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

The best mini-golf place used to be at the Freehold Raceway mall.

One of the holes was a giant broken teacup. That had plaster people drowning in it! (If I remember correctly, you had to hit the ball off one of the silent screaming heads to get the hole).

Damn thing gave me nightmares.

Chestnuts roasted by Lucky Cat @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Wow, that place looks horrible.

Best minigolf place ever? Pizza Putt, in Burlington VT. Just a massive sprawling track inside some sort of renovated warehouse. Filled to the ceiling with plaster/wood sculptures of random crap from around the world... Its rad.

Chestnuts roasted by Piscez @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

By far the best mini-golf place I've been to is Scandia in Southern Calfornia. It's a classic mini-golf area, with traditional windmills and ponds and stuff, but it's clean, and it's got a huge arcade, a go-kart race trak, and one of the most awesome inventions in modern entertainment... BUMPER BOATS! Like Bumper cars, only wet!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Hmm...The Worst Miniature Golf Course I ever went to included a a half molded/delapitated rotting coffin on hole 13, and at one point, 3 naked showering men-think maniquins- with large black oily streaks all over there legs. These holes were also filled with water, mud, leaves, SPIDERS (I don't like spiders) Needless to say, it was an incredably crappy course.

Chestnuts roasted by two_peep_army @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Speaking of mini-golf in Jersey... I remember the strip along the beach in Cape May had the best mini-golf places. All kinds of cool things to hit the ball through... a cannon, all kinds of animals, the usual windmill, bridges, a huge 15 foot dinosaur, etc. I remember one of the courses had this big alligator. You hit the ball in its mouth, and it rolled all around inside its body, and then came out its ass. Seriously.

Chestnuts roasted by XTacy @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Is that the place you can see when your on the parkway? i always wanted to go there when i was a little kid... im glad i didnt.

Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

you are on our wavelength. So I'm trying to say is that you are most prestigious compared to my most scrambled thought process

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Mini golf RULES!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by SuperStar @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Actually...that shoe looks alot like one of mine too. *points* Did you steal my shoes Matt? I promise I won't be mad just tell the truth? ----------------------------------------------(silence)-------------FINE I'LL FEED YOU ASS TO CHEWBACCA, chewy, get him
Chewbacca: "arrrgggh"

Chestnuts roasted by Former A1C Pete @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

jeepers, I meant your not you, I'll feed your ass to chewbacca

Chestnuts roasted by Former A1C Pete @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

The coolest mini golf course i've seen was in Nashville. It was in a mall... and completly blacklit. It was the best, everything was glowing different neon colors, man you would think you were on somthing.

Also... Matt, what happened to the Chia Plot? You cant just leave us hanging... or can you?

Chestnuts roasted by Destro's Love Child @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

I played at a mini golf course in Fort Steele, British Columbia a few years ago that was also a petting zoo. It was a pretty nice course compared to the other 3 I'd played at previously on that vacation.

The bad part about this course was the vertitable horde of miniature Donkeys which made this unholy sound every five seconds making our beer drinking/mini golfing trip kind of unpleasant.

That's it, nothing really gross or bizarre occurred. Sorry, sickos.

Chestnuts roasted by Cannibalizer @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

High-larious as usual, Matt. Nicely played.

Chestnuts roasted by Tuff Daddy Cool @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Great artical, Matt. Miniature golf is fun to play! I guess feeling sorry for those poor fake animals really makes me feel ill. Hmm... I wonder where I can go to feel better...? I know! I'll go do some miniature golf!

Chestnuts roasted by Dancer @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

The Chia Plot will never be concluded. It was cliffhung and then cancelled, like "Alf." Get over it.

At least no one's posting here begging and whining for a "Mac and Me" review again...no wait, I shouldn't say that!

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

h, minigolf, yay. I went minigolfing a month or so ago, it was some fun nostalgia. We have the bumper boats there too, I'd like to go on those again.

Chestnuts roasted by marioshoku @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Yeah we have the putt-putt behind Dairy Island with the disturbing pig face that you MUST hit through his ungodly mouth to complete your quest...UGH....why must i love this and HATE IT so MUCH?????

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Matthew. I HEAR ya on disabled game rooms....THEY ALWAYS HAVE SOOOOOOOOO much PROMISE but NOOOOOOOOOOO... I'm sorry but the misleading ms. pac man machine was enough to make me wanna chew threw my arm. you should go to the rascal house in Cleveland...It has WORKING CLASSIC arcade games!!!!!
and plus it has decent local music workin......

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

https://rascalhousepizza.com/new/locations.cfm if you only knew...

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

The last time I played mini golf was at a course that was going to be demolished because it was closing so they just left the putters and the golf balls out for anyone who wanted to play. It was in a small town (Kimberly, BC) so miraculously there were still balls and putters. This is the same town where the grocery store left its watermelons outside overnight. A produce thief's paradise I tell you!

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

I'll expect the new Chia Pet around the time we see the Sea Monkey followup.

Yes, I'm still bitter.

Chestnuts roasted by Piscez @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

thankyou for doing an out and about article matt! you rock! :-) the guy on the bumper cars with the greay top looks like he is high on the fumes alright....

Chestnuts roasted by Rachel Cakes @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

i meant grey :-)

Chestnuts roasted by Rachel Cakes @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

*Openly praying to the gods

"Please God, show Matt the way to his 12 inch Action Figures and give him the strength and patience to give us the end to the Chia Plot...He has left us with a TMNT cliffhanger that has saturated our pallets with the kind of hunger that only is reserved for people in third world countries...Please God???...Hello???...Are you even there???"

Chestnuts roasted by Tree @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

I'll make my own chia ending..
thatll show everyone...hrrmmph

Chestnuts roasted by zombone @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

I cant help but to think you could get Ebolla or something for touching some of that shiat in that place. We have a few mini golf courses in the Milwaukee area though which look FAR worse than that... I think there are gnomes with tape worms lurking in those golf courses, ready to attack. SCARY.

Chestnuts roasted by BettieBoo @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

That Police Trainer video game in that game room looks just like the one that's at my local Wal-Mart right now,but with orange guns. I hate that game SO MUCH.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

My theory is that once you scrape all the lights and tinsel and topless chicks off of Vegas, it probably looks a lot like this Safari amusement park. That's my theory, anyway

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Yesterday hermit crabs were on Martha Stewart's show.

Chestnuts roasted by esrtthj @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

I haven't ben to a decent Mini-golf course in a while. I like them to have lots of twists, turns and Rube-Goldberg style holes. But my favortie by far is Bumper Boats. I could spend hours on one of those.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

I love mini golf, but it is so hard to find a good course in the Raleigh area. There is one in Raleigh where the electrical obsticles don't work and there is standing water all over, and the clubhouse is just some dinty little room with white walls and a peanut vending machine with peanuts that have probably been in there since 1996. Of course, the arcades in these places are usually the only places where I can find a Neo-Geo machine!

By the way, my mom thought the Tiger No Eyes was cute, but how could she find some mutant with no eyes and a discolored tail cute?

Chestnuts roasted by mjf7583 @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Remember that mini golf course in that Kurt Russell movie OverBoard?? Now that I would gladly pay 6 bucks to play. The wonders of the world...

Chestnuts roasted by BettieBoo @ 05/17/2004 02:31 PM EST

Hahaha, that's the shittiest mini golf place I've ever seen.

There's a place here in Arizona called Jungle Jim's. It's not a mini golf course, but it's a party-type place somewhat similar to Chuck E. Cheese. It has more though, oh, does it have more! It has fantastically shitty bumper cars and some other rides not worth remembering. I think if you were ever here you'd get a good article out of it.

Question-- is there something else in the hole that's partially filled with water? It looks like there's something else lurking in there. Gross.

Chestnuts roasted by Mandie J. @ 05/19/2004 06:21 PM EST

I want to see a picture of this alleged "lion".

Chestnuts roasted by Dustin @ 05/19/2004 06:25 PM EST

i went miniature golfing last weekend. good times.

Chestnuts roasted by robert @ 05/19/2004 06:28 PM EST

hmm, what was that?

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/19/2004 06:47 PM EST

great article...a little disturbing to know those kinds of places still exist(the lion).Anyway who goes there anyway?

Chestnuts roasted by Mr.Fun @ 05/19/2004 07:29 PM EST

great article...a little disturbing to know those kinds of places still exist(the lion).Anyway who goes there anyway?

Chestnuts roasted by Mr.Fun @ 05/19/2004 07:29 PM EST

Hahah, I've been to that mini golf course. That was years ago, though. Too bad I'm still stuck in this crap-hole borough. Anyway, I can't believe that the course hasn't changed in forever. It's a good thing that Matt didn't mention that the place is a stone's throw away from the largest garbage dump in the world. Thankfully the view is blocked by an abandoned highway overpass.

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 05/19/2004 07:48 PM EST

Man, Safari Golf Rules! It is FRIGGIN WEIRD to see all these things online that I see in every-day life. Seeing the haunted house that's down the block from my best friend's house on dat dem dere internet - awesome! A movie at the Atrium, pizza at the place next door then Safari Golfing. A perfect date. Now if only anyone would actually go out with me. Hey Matt, hook me up w. some Island geek chicks.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt (the third) @ 05/19/2004 10:21 PM EST

I see Jim Morrison in the window of the tiki hut.

Mini golf is fun. I keep looking for a Seven Wonders of the World course, ala Overboard. I wonder, what did they do w/ the other 11 holes, once they used up the seven wonders?

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 05/19/2004 10:32 PM EST

Oh, bettieboo beat me to it.

Ya know, I seriously thought the reason the blog blew a gasket today was b/c Matt finally put up the Chia pet article and the site had some kind of fit in joy. Oh, well.

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 05/19/2004 10:35 PM EST

Those are not the worst bumper cars ever. I went to a small park in Omaha once while visiting some family and they had the same type of cars, yet the area to drive around in was like 12 cubic feet. Pretty sad.

Chestnuts roasted by ChaosJunkie1024 @ 05/19/2004 11:22 PM EST

I can't shake the image of the lion's asshole.....ugh....shiver me timbers

Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 05/20/2004 12:17 AM EST

The first time I played miniature golf, I was five. That was also the last time. Enough said already!

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew T. @ 05/20/2004 12:29 AM EST

I like performing a little experiment on my local mini-golf course every summer. A friend and I bring our own ball and a full bag of clubs and play from open to close, or until the (usually) lone employee gets tired of our assholery. There's nothing better than crushing the ego of some douche trying to impress his girlfriend when I hit a chip shot in his hole from the sidewalk, while he can't putt accurately from 2 feet away.

Chestnuts roasted by King Shazbot @ 05/20/2004 12:42 AM EST

Minature golf courses in the southern New Jersey area range from huge, fancy "entertainment centers" complete with fake waterfalls and nicely landscaped and themed courses to cheap, family-owned variations on the place Matt visited. My favorite, though, is the one next to Rainbow Ice Cream Palace in North Cape May. It's been around as long as the one Matt described, but it has three advantages: it's been upgraded at least somewhat over the past few years (broken statues have been replaced or repainted, and there's no barbed wire), it's next to North Cape May's only combination ice cream parlor/doughnut shop, and at least last year, it only cost two dollars a person. I take my brother there at least two or three times a summer, and we always have a great time, even though we never bother keeping score.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 05/20/2004 12:51 AM EST

Hey, I'm behind in my reading of X-E but I wanted to share a few pictures of some Shrek crap. I have been taking them with my new camera whenever I see them in our local grocery store in Texas. It is interesting, but at one HEB nearby there is Shrek shit everywhere, but another maybe a mile away has hardly any. I think even here it may not be as intense as other places.

http://www.kitoconnell.com/Photos/0405/shrek1.jpg
http://www.kitoconnell.com/Photos/0405/shrek2.jpg
http://www.kitoconnell.com/Photos/0405/shrek3.jpg
http://www.kitoconnell.com/Photos/0405/talkingshrek.jpg

Chestnuts roasted by Kit @ 05/20/2004 02:21 AM EST

Great article, Matt. Sad, but hilariously sad.

My favorite Mini-Golf would have to be the one in Red River, NM. Tiny place. Run down, but definately in better shape then Safari Golf. Favorite hole: A volcano that you had to have the ball go up a conveyor belt, then go down to the hole via a mystery tube. Almost impossible to get a hole in one.

We have a Putt-Putt golf and games in Lubbock, but I haven't been in ages. Good selection of video games, though (at least, there used to be). Oh, and they have Bumper Boats there, and yes, they are awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 05/20/2004 02:56 AM EST

A Shitty Mini golf course is located at Konocti Harbor Inn, Kelseyville, CA. My wife and i went there 'cause she enjoys a good game. It was icky, like Safari Amusement "park". It was a tour de force of filth, broken down, sad, and just plain eww. Broken bottles adorned certain areas of trees near the 1st and 2nd holes, busted "features", animals, gismos and etc. Kids breaking things, kids in trees selling drugs. Having to reach my hand into puddles (oh no) to retrieve ball. Icky bad yuck...
And on the up-side, the wife and i went to Reno mother's day weekend, a highlight being smoking cigs and drinking beer walking through a mall. the hilton is empty feeling.

Chestnuts roasted by Obelisk @ 05/20/2004 03:31 AM EST

Great article about the mini golf course. I havent been to one in so long. The one I used to go to didnt have a lion ass hole though

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 05/20/2004 05:12 AM EST

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=%22mini+golf+monthly%22

Doesn't seem to be a "Mini Golf Monthly" but there is a "Golf Monthly".

Chestnuts roasted by gmfbrown @ 05/20/2004 09:21 AM EST

Cool Matt, I see you're partial to the "Fuck Shoe-Laces" type of shoes as well. They're very convenient!

Chestnuts roasted by Cobra Soldier #18 @ 05/20/2004 10:05 AM EST

"Plain Zero"...I read this line in my head with Arnold's voice, and actually truly laughed out loud.

Funny stuff Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by beSharp @ 05/20/2004 10:39 AM EST

Again...... "No! Don't make him angry! Don't you know who he is? He is the Great Ninja Master Tiger No Eyes!"

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/20/2004 11:32 AM EST

Our local mini-golf features among other awfullitudes: a giant rabbit with a butthole(indeed this seems to be a common thing), a dinosaur with a golf putter penis (which for some reason nobody noticed for a long time), and a 20 foot tall Peter Pan with low self esteem (yikes). On the other hand the owners know it is a shite factory so they'll let cha bring beer in. By the way there is...90 minutes away in Waco,Tx...a "kiddie fun land" place with a SUPER SLIDE still in operation...and I thought those were banned 30 years ago!

Chestnuts roasted by Blah blah @ 05/20/2004 11:57 AM EST

Blah Blah:

Having lived in Waco, TX (and living there now), I have been down that Super Slide. I was scared to death of it as a kid. I don't think it is anymore dangerous than the rest of the usual rides/activities. "Kiddie Land" (at Lion's Park) Is still in operation, but I think they have removed some of the rides. They do still have a ride-on train that circles the park, as well as a Mini Golf Course, Go-Carts and (I think) Bumper boats.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 05/20/2004 12:22 PM EST

Mini-golf is the best.

Chestnuts roasted by XviviX @ 05/20/2004 12:56 PM EST

Hey Cameron I was hoping to ride the slide this summer, hope its still there. Got my wax paper, and my burn-off spray and I'm ready to go lose some skin on 200 degree metal!

Chestnuts roasted by Blah...blah @ 05/20/2004 02:16 PM EST

For those on the Gulf Coast, you know it's all about Goofy Golf on the Redneck Riviera.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/FLPANgoofygolf.html

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 05/20/2004 02:57 PM EST

Unfortunately for me, i don't get to indulge myself in the filthy bliss of a rundown, grimy m.g. course. i live in the m.g. capital of the world. there are only about 773,892 m.g. courses in the 20 miles or so between my town and lake george (upstate n.y.) those of you thinking of going on a holy crusade for crusty old m.g. courses in my neck of the woods will be disappointed to find clean, maintained courses. wish i had a grimy course to call my own. bastards!

Chestnuts roasted by jcardin3 @ 05/20/2004 03:14 PM EST

Hey Matt.. congratulations on another kick-ass article! I'm a big fan of your "adventure" pieces. I'm ready to storm Bar Harbor, Maine with you any time!

Chestnuts roasted by Brian @ 05/20/2004 03:15 PM EST

Had kinda a long story about going to Putt-Putt in lawton, but to lazy to reconstruct it. Boiled down: Running around counting coup on each other with putters, brother-in-law obsessed with winning any game, wierd baseball/pinball thing that gives out baseball cards, and a MK machine that lokks like it was raped by the Tekken machine. That, and the fact that I am Zen Master of the One-Handed Putt.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 05/20/2004 03:35 PM EST

have ta love the lion's three nostrils

Chestnuts roasted by CWH @ 05/20/2004 04:08 PM EST

That place has go karts and shit now. i havent been there in years, but the one off the ghiway, near todt hill road is much better.

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 05/20/2004 08:08 PM EST

Is this the same crappy place on Arthur Kill road?

Chestnuts roasted by drdank @ 05/21/2004 03:47 PM EST

I finally played mini golf for the first time in years about a month ago. The course wasn't too bad though. Myrtle Beach, about an hour and a half from here, is the place for mini golf. Or as it is called down here, putt-putt. Myrtle Beach is a big golf area, with courses all over and lots and lots of mini golf. None as bad as the one Matt went to.

Chestnuts roasted by Susan @ 05/21/2004 04:38 PM EST

My high school cafeteria still sells Flintstone push-ups. I love those things. ONly truly crazed establishments can sell those things anymore.

Chestnuts roasted by Lady Yate-xel @ 05/21/2004 09:09 PM EST

My high school cafeteria still sells Flintstone push-ups. I love those things. ONly truly crazed establishments can sell those things anymore.

Chestnuts roasted by Lady Yate-xel @ 05/21/2004 09:09 PM EST

Well, it may not be the West Palm Beach Country Club, but it's the only game in town.

Anyone from NJ old enough to remember the 20ft tall fiberglass Paul Bunyan who wielded a HUMONGOUS golf club guarding the Putt-Putt on Rt 35 North in Chadwick/Ocean/Ortley Beach?

I swear-to-god he looked just like a bearded, smiling James Garner. Or maybe he looked like that guy who used to paint "happy little trees" on PBS.

I'll bet there was no assholery(good word, King Shazbot) going on in THOSE links lest you get whacked with that nine-foot golf club by a teed-off (swear to god, no pun intended) 20 ft tall fiberglass giant.

Sadly, the jolly giant must have had a falling-out with the Putt-Putt management, because last I saw, he was employed 75 miles north, guarding a carpet retail store in Jersey City off of RT 440 by the Pulaski Skyway, sans club (did he learn Judo?).

Chestnuts roasted by ibinsomniac @ 05/22/2004 12:06 AM EST

There's a place to go Black Light miniature golfing in the Katy Mills mall down here in Texas. I ain't been yet, but it seems mondo to the max.(That phrase rules)ANd the Ninja Hockey player from Running Man was named Sub-Zero I think.

Chestnuts roasted by Lonewolf @ 05/22/2004 04:32 PM EST

that place is in staten island. im always there. the course sucks.

Chestnuts roasted by rob @ 05/24/2004 10:07 PM EST

I've had many a pre-teen first date at this place. It might be a sucky minature golf course but it's a great first step to first base.

Chestnuts roasted by Michael @ 05/25/2004 10:21 AM EST

Cha Cha Chia!

Chestnuts roasted by sixpointsix @ 06/01/2004 10:28 AM EST

Perhaps the bumper cars are there soley for the amusement of the feral children.

Chestnuts roasted by ibinsomniac @ 06/04/2004 09:10 PM EST

Hey! I've got those same Kenneth Cole shoes!

Chestnuts roasted by Chicago Guy @ 06/09/2004 03:48 PM EST

I thought for a second you were examining the same mini-golf course that got destroyed by Bam Margera in Jackass: The Movie.

Nonetheless, a hilarious read!

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 06/12/2004 02:47 AM EST

wow umm dam i hope it was free

Chestnuts roasted by CA sucks @ 06/20/2004 05:06 PM EST

LMFAO...

that course is on staten island on richmond avenue.

that place is truly horrible... i was about 16 [7 years ago] when i went there and skull-fucked that bengal tiger [its eyes were gouged out!]

Chestnuts roasted by RobAtPace @ 07/06/2004 01:05 PM EST

Man is all that shit real! cause if it is that fucked up mini golf course is the worst place on earth. That includes Newark in the summer and nothing is worse than Newark in the summer!, But at least the good part is it was funny to read.

Chestnuts roasted by Mohak @ 07/08/2004 10:35 PM EST

Hey Matt didja snatch a Ball?

Chestnuts roasted by Tad @ 07/14/2004 11:26 PM EST

Hey Matt didja snatch a Ball?

Chestnuts roasted by Tad @ 07/14/2004 11:26 PM EST

I used to work at Safari Amusement. I started as crappy mini golf attendant picking cigarette butts out of the lion's ass. Then I was promoted to batting cage guy, where I'd have to hand-feed the balls into the busted arm-mangling hopper while people shot line drives at me. By the end of my short term there, I had been made Go-Kart master, where I was run over no less than 8 times. My claim to fame- I was the first person to ever ride those gas powered bumper cars. They weren't any less shitty then.

Chestnuts roasted by Doornob @ 09/14/2004 02:17 PM EST

P.S.-I still rock my bright yellow Safari Amuesement staff tee shirt every once and a while.

Chestnuts roasted by Doornob @ 09/14/2004 02:20 PM EST