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04/20/2004 Entry: "Does this thing work God dammit?"

Hello, is this thing on? From One Fry 2 Anotha?

An e-mail from the weekend:

"dude i think the blog is brokeneded"

Well said, indeed it was. Friday marked the first blog meltdown since it's inception in October of 2002, and I'm ashamed to admit it, but I probably would've choked myself to death with a coffee machine if my friend Kevin wasn't able to put it back together. Sure, it's silly stuff, but it's two,enna,half years worth of silly stuff. I feared the worst (I don't use any kind of posting system on the main site because I have such terrible luck with 'em), but looks like we're back to form without a single thing out of order.

Spent most of Sunday putting the finishing touches of several thousand Transformers-related articles going up on UGO next month. Three of 'em are DVD reviews, but I don't want to hold off on telling you that Transformers: Season 3 Part 2 & Season 4 and Beast Wars: The Complete Second Season are absolute must-haves for fans. The Transformers set even includes the semi-rare Rebirth trilogy, where some of the Autobots and Decepticons willingly allow their heads to be modified into baby robots. Also features the rare appearances of Fortress Maximus and Scorponok. The three-disc (!!!) set even has the Optimus Prime resurrection two-parter, plus a kickass chapter selection screen featuring a battle-damaged Rodimus skulking about a shuttlecraft. Awesome, and Amazon has it on sale.

The Beast Wars DVD is a two-discer, and jeez, I'd forgotten how much I love this show. It'll probably take new viewers three or four episodes to really see the glories within, but once you do, you'll be hooked eye swar eet. Back to Amazon, they're practically giving the sets away at just twenty-three dollars a pop. Can't ask for better than that. The other DVD review was for two quicky Armada titles, and all I'll say about those is that they failed at transforming (HA!!) me into a new fan. Oh well.

In case ya missed it, I threw a new article up on Friday. Simple stuff -- I get requests for more commercial downloads constantly, and had a bunch laying around that were either already mentioned or not beefy enough for a full tribute. So, the article has ten. With reviews and downloads, and a peppered background. My favorites of this bunch include the spot for Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!, and a weird old Bugs Bunny ad where he warns about the deadly dangers lurking in every kitchen everywhere every.

So, with the blog outta whack and, uh, all of the trouble in the Middle East, I eased my troubles with another spirited round of LET'S BUY FISH. Oh yes. Three of those painted parrotfish I bought a few months back died from that deadly "Ick" disease (picture dipping a fish in a bowl of salt, that's what they looked like), and the trio that survived looked healthy and happy enough to annoy with a NEW FISH INVASION. Thankfully, Petland is like, thirteen steps away from out apartment. Here's the new monsters:

An algae eater without a name. Everyone seems impressed at this guy's size; we were more impressed at how much he resembled a frog trapped in a snake's body. Unnamed Algae Eater simply strolls along the bottom, sticking his suction cupped mouth all over everything. Cute, but I can't shake the feeling that he'll disintegrate fast upon death. Not looking forward to scooping out gooey parts of Unnamed Algae Eater. Not this week, anyway.

We also nailed two pleco fishies, each pretty huge. One has the standard color pattern, the other has weird zebra stripes. I bet he feels cooler than his brother. I've got a tank full of semi-aggressives, but nobody fucks with the Pleco Pair. They're too disinterested and spiny.

Okay, my new favorite thing on the planet is this, a Geophagus Whatchamacalit. For simplicity, I named him "Wolfie," and happily narrate his thoughts as the beast glides through the tank, eating, inspecting and looking all cute n' stuff. "ME. WOLFIE. MARCH. TOWARDS. FOOOOOOD." Guess how long it took for my girlfriend to get sick of that one. I've seen fish of this type before, but never so large. Really, really beautiful creature -- it's got all of these funky glowy dots, lionfish-like spines and appendages, and eyes that absolutely positively lock with mine and thank me. Incredibly, the leader parrotfish (a yellow asshole with a God complex) constantly berates Wolfie, even though he's about half his size.

Wolfie has these two feathery strands that hang low while he swims. I've already made it known that, in the case that Yellow Asshole Parrotfish bites off either one of these strands, he's out in the sun in an empty Dixie cup. With a fucking bullet in his head, because Wolfie is worth the extra mile.

I think that brings us up to speed. Sorry for the downtime. Sorry for the -- oh wait, I did have one more thing. Looney Tunes cereal is about the closest thing to old school Trix we'll ever see. The fruity balls are a bit smaller, but it's so close to the old non-fruit-shaped Trix. And this discovery makes me smile. New article coming tonight, and it's an odd one. HUGE thanks to Killer Kevin for fixing the Killed Blog.

Consider this the comments section for the two latest articles, while we're at it.

REPLIES: 120 comments

Matt,

Didn't Jimmy Neutron have like chocolate fries too?

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 04/20/2004 01:29 PM EST

Something like that...I know he had cinnamon. One of the three versions stayed around for a bit longer than the others. The failure was well documented in ad circles, actually -- these things were an immense flop.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/20/2004 01:30 PM EST

There's a Mexican restaurant we go to around here (Don Pablo's) that serves fries/tater tots or whatever the hell they are in letter shapes. My boy loves 'em!

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 04/20/2004 01:32 PM EST

Nice to have you back Matt.. I think I speak for most of us when I say we were pretty damn worried about you.. well not about you, about yer site :P

Anyway, Pots are scarey, I hate Wuzzles and those fish are damn cool.. Yay Killer Kevin.. we love yooooooooouuuuuuu!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 04/20/2004 01:32 PM EST

Them's be some nice-lookin' fish you've got there. I suggest naming the Unnamed Algae Eater Seth.

Chestnuts roasted by Seth Christenfeld @ 04/20/2004 01:33 PM EST

http://www.nick.com/ads/ore-ida/

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 04/20/2004 01:34 PM EST

Excellent detective work, WatJoe.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/20/2004 01:35 PM EST

Matt could you please name the Algae eater "Chi-saga" or some derivative?

Chestnuts roasted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 04/20/2004 01:53 PM EST

Those blue potatoes are some weird shit... how do(did?) they taste, I wonder...

Easter Pringles? Never seen 'em. Seen Halloween Pringles, though.

As for the McCain smiley-fries, we've had those up here in Canadia for awhile now... they ain't bad.

LBD "Nytetrayn"

Chestnuts roasted by LBD "Nytetrayn" @ 04/20/2004 01:59 PM EST

Okay, small update: everything except the weekly archives is fixed, thank God.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/20/2004 02:07 PM EST

That would have to be some of the strangest stuff i've ever seen. But very funny. Didn't your mother teach you not to play with your food though? ;) That backgroud you picked made me rather hungry as well.

Chestnuts roasted by The Dragonrider @ 04/20/2004 02:10 PM EST

Must...eat...faces. mmmmmmmm, smiles.....

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/20/2004 02:27 PM EST

Matt did u actually eat those blue fries? IF not can I?

i want to taste the O-So unnatural fries!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Freud Savage @ 04/20/2004 02:57 PM EST

McCain's has a reputation of having cheesy ads in New Zealand.

"Ah, McCain! You've done it again!"

Chestnuts roasted by Matt (NZ) @ 04/20/2004 03:16 PM EST

"I don't know. I'm potatoes."

"I wish I wasn't potatoes."

Just struck me funny.

Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 04/20/2004 03:27 PM EST

I'm never able to find anything of that sort up here in Canada. Holiday Oreos, Holiday themed Pringles, coloured fries.. what a rip off. I guess the closest I've seen is green ketchup but I wouldnt come within 15 feet of that crap. Blue fries however...

Chestnuts roasted by Toxicity- @ 04/20/2004 03:30 PM EST

Never thought that I would be laughing out loud at the sight of bags of frozen fries throwing up.

Great job, as usual. ^_^

Chestnuts roasted by Lynx @ 04/20/2004 03:46 PM EST

The new fishies are very cute. Big ups to Kevin for saving the blog!

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 04/20/2004 03:57 PM EST

For some reason, the bags of potatoes remind me of the robots in the movie The Black Hole. Must be the eyes.

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 04/20/2004 04:21 PM EST

I think you should name your namless algea eater Death Urge Overdrive. Thats a totally kick ass name. And then you call im' DUO for short.

Chestnuts roasted by Lonewolf @ 04/20/2004 04:29 PM EST

hooray for everything being fixed...

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 04/20/2004 04:36 PM EST

It's a sad tale of potatoe poetry. But it don't make much sense... reading this its the bags that are alive, not the fries. So in reality...they will live to the brink of non-biodegradeable immortality. And if Kool Blue can survive for years past his exporation date, perhaps there is still hope for all others.

Chestnuts roasted by Lonewolf @ 04/20/2004 04:41 PM EST

Thank you Kevin for fixin' the blog. If I were British, I'd give you a snog.

Chestnuts roasted by Kristal @ 04/20/2004 04:50 PM EST

I like ice cream.

Chestnuts roasted by a piece of milk @ 04/20/2004 04:51 PM EST

STOP BUYING CREATURES!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Bowser @ 04/20/2004 05:08 PM EST

Okay, comments for the latest article. Definitely funny,and the Jimmy Neutron fries actually looked edible even though they were 2 years old.

Comments for the last article.
I remember those old "Ounce of Prevention" ads, but I never knew they made one of Bugs. I just saw the one with Tweety showing kids the dangers of the bathroom. Over and over and over. I can recite the damn thing from memory now 'cuz it was airing every Saturday and Sunday at 5:28 and 36 seconds PM for YEARS! Seriously, YEARS!

Chestnuts roasted by DocDragon @ 04/20/2004 05:37 PM EST

YAY! The blogs are fixed!

Re: Friday's commercial article

Great stuff, man. 10 new commercials, Bugs Bunny, AND the long awaited Hulk Hogan Honey Nut Cherrios ad. Awesome stuff.

Re: Today's fries skit

Another A+ effort from you, my friend. Great stuff, especially when you made the bags spew out its contents.

Keep up the good work, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Scott @ 04/20/2004 05:43 PM EST

Tweety in the bathroom.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/20/2004 06:14 PM EST

One thing that I regret eating is the Chocolate Funky Fries. That taste will never leave my mouth. I still shudder when I see Jimmy or his products.

The fries were nasty...then I did something unthinkable with them. I said "these dont taste good plain, maybe I should make chili fries with them." And so i opened a can of chili, grated some cheese and proceeded to make chocolate chili fries. Yes since that day I have not been the same. What made them think that chocolate and potatoes would be a good combination.

Those smiles look like they are made of funnel cake rather than potato. >:O

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 04/20/2004 06:20 PM EST

Bah... Americans shouldn't have McCain Smiles French Fries! It's a special food for Canadians only, just like Crunchie bars, Shreddies, and those Dare cookies shaped like maple leafs.
>:( <-angry

...okay, I've never tried them. But they have been around up here for years.

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 04/20/2004 06:47 PM EST

Arrrgh! Not that Bugs Bunny commercial. That thing used to be so scary, I often had to change the channels when it came on. Yeah, like that really helped- it was on every freakin channel. I think it was the only commercial at that time. I almost couldn't watch it now.

Chestnuts roasted by G4L @ 04/20/2004 06:50 PM EST

None of this explains how Matt obtained the bag of Funky Fries, which I don't think I've seen for nearly two years.

Chestnuts roasted by Fry Guy @ 04/20/2004 06:52 PM EST

STEVE BRANDON: I ain't got nothin against no canucks...but you guys are the veritable crash test dummies for Americans. Anything that don't fly there, sure as hell won't fly here. So we use you guys to see what's hot and what's not, so to speak.

Chestnuts roasted by Lonewolf @ 04/20/2004 07:01 PM EST

Lonewolf: Actually, the Coca-Cola Company really did do exactly just that for Sprite Ice, using Canadians as their guinea pigs to see if mint-flavoured* soft drink** would sell. Answer: not well enough to justify releasing it in the United States. Myself, I was skeptical, but, actually, the mint was really subtle and accentuated the sharpness of the lemon-lime taste, so the taste reminded me more of Schweppes' Bitter Lemon than it did mouthwash.

*"flavored" with the patriotic Canadian U.

**"soft drink", not "soda" and not that attrocious word, at least in a beverage context, "pop".

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 04/20/2004 07:18 PM EST

Hi Matt.

It's me again, the guy with the fish.

I really hope you don't like the eyes in your fishes' heads, because those algae eaters are notorious fin-nippers and eye gougers. And they really don't like algae all that much (they'd rather suck up worms).

And I would suggest you get a bunch of big female Geophagus--then Wolfie would protect himself better, and maybe make you some new fishes with his lady friends. Of course, that could spell trouble for the Parrots, but I think I've made my feelings on those clear before.

Honestly, I think your fish are still pretty conventional--you need to get something big and weird, be it a crazy catfish, a freshwater lionfish, or an Asian knifefish (you can't tell me you haven't lloked at those--and not the Black Ghosts, you'll never see them).

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 04/20/2004 07:22 PM EST

Haha, Sean, I was actually hoping you'd turn up. The algae eater is probably the most docile fish in the tank -- scurries away whenever approached by the others. Wolfie is my main concern, because the damn parrot is constantly trying to nip him. Though it's funny to watch Wolfie become uncharacteristically monstrous during feeding, as he whips his tail at the asshole fish and tries to bite his head off.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/20/2004 07:28 PM EST

The algae eaters are eye-gougers? Eh... maybe Matt should keep 'em in a separate aquarium, because I just saw both halves of Kill Bill and I've seen enough eye-gougings to fulfill my "eye-gouging as entertainment" quota until about August 2007 and don't need to see any articles with fish looking like... okay, I'll be nice for the kids that won't be able to see it until it's all out on DVD... a certain character in a certain scene.

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 04/20/2004 07:32 PM EST

Cool fishies! We've had the same fish fo so long (at least a year), I'm afraid to buy more and upset the balance. Knock on wood. We have quite a few of those flat, quarter shaped fish that are pastel colored. We have green (Di Niro), pink (Wanda), orange (Chili) and yellow (Daisy). Plus, the screamer fish (Clive), a gourami (Lenny, even though I always want to call him "Origami"), some orange fish w/ red fins (Lucy) and a silver fish w/ a black tail (Dobber).

Oh, BTW, CookiePussteroids. http://www.carvel.com/games.asp

Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 04/20/2004 07:52 PM EST

hey, glad everything is back up to snuff! i drive past a McCain's plant on my way to work and it smells so nasty i find it hard to eat fries. except it smells really good when i'm high! on another note, the dozzy dolls commercial is great because anything with a pre-moustache Rudy is cool!! oh yeah, and Happy 420 to all, and to all, a Happy 420!

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 04/20/2004 08:06 PM EST

Speaking of chocolate and potatoes, I had a chocolate-covered potato chip the other day. Strange stuff. Try it at least once!

Chestnuts roasted by JG! @ 04/20/2004 08:09 PM EST

I remember the Bugs safety toon- or at least the pot on the stove.

To THIS DAY I keep the handle turned inward. Because, ya know, someone might bump it. I didn't realize it was just to prevent retarded five year olds from pulling burning oil onto themselves.

I'll still do it, because, I mean, you can't be too careful.

Also: I just won like 80 Star Wars figures, plus a few vehicles. All POTF/Episode one, only two carded. Not worth shit but they were damned near free. So uh, Matt, if you are holding off on the next Chia Plot because you need two Admiral Ackbars, I got the hook up yo.

Chestnuts roasted by Piscez @ 04/20/2004 08:09 PM EST

Hey Matt,
I have three parrotfish myself. And I have two green ones and in a week they turned a odd orange color. But anyway,they must be bred with an asshole gene because all of them are assholes to the other fish and themselves. Its an assholejamboree in the tank. They eat the plecco's lil algae discs to boot. And for some reason my one angelfish insists on nipping the head of my koi. I also have a oscar,my girlfriend got him for me,she didnt know how nassssty they are in a tank. But regardless he causes no trouble,cept he leaped out of the tank to bite my juggular once.
Anyway,great article,I loved it. Good luck with the fish.

Chestnuts roasted by Josh @ 04/20/2004 08:10 PM EST

Okay, I laughed my ass off at the french fry article, but I still have to ask.... How many drugs do you do, Matt? (and can i get some?)

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff @ 04/20/2004 08:23 PM EST

I hell ain't waitin for pictures of french fries to load.

I just read the words.

Your pet fixation disturbs me. I guess that's still entertainment.

Chestnuts roasted by sdfghsh @ 04/20/2004 08:59 PM EST

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!!

Chestnuts roasted by Smokestack @ 04/20/2004 09:16 PM EST

I do remember the blue fries, but I somehow couldn't bring myself to eat blue potatoes. There are just some places nature shouldn't go, and I guess people agreed with me, because as Matt mentioned, the "Funky Fries" have all-but vanished.

Nice to see the blog back up - I was one of the worried ones. Call me kooky, but I like going back and seeing what weird shit was on our collective minds a year ago, Matt's included. Considering my own spyware-related computer problems lately, Matt, I feel your pain.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 04/20/2004 09:16 PM EST

I had totaly forgotten about that bugs bunny commercial till i red the article and then it all came back to me.

Chestnuts roasted by Bright Noah @ 04/20/2004 10:00 PM EST

http://freecarmedia.com/L3.cfm?pagename=CasePGPringlesN

Purple Pringles everywhere! Are these the Easter Pringles?

Chestnuts roasted by Matt (#2?) @ 04/20/2004 11:08 PM EST

Man do I remember those Bugs Saftey Commercials! What I really can't get outta my head whenever I think about a saftey commercial are those G.I Joe "Knowing is half the battle" saftey commercials. If knowing is half the battle, then damnit Shipwreck what the hell is the other half?! Another saftey commercial that comes to mind is the one with Webster. He had a saftey commercial for perverts. It basically went on about whenever someone approaches you, wanting to bring you somewhere, you say "NO!", then "GO" and "TELL SOMEONE YOU TRUST!" Sorry about the longevity of this post everyone, I guess I've smoked too much today and have waaaaayyy too much on my mind!

Chestnuts roasted by Mugzy. . . @ 04/21/2004 12:18 AM EST

By the way, I've always despised Shipwreck!

Chestnuts roasted by . . .Mugzy @ 04/21/2004 12:20 AM EST

Blue Frys? Can't those marketeers leave ANYTHING alone.

Oh, and I saw those easter pringles. They put them in the Easter candy isle, not the Pringles isle. Weird.

How do they taste?

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 04/21/2004 12:36 AM EST

To quote Twisted Toyfare Theatre, if knowing is half the battle, the other half is...."VIOLENCE." ;-)

And count me as another who remembers those Bugs Bunny commercials. In fact, weren't there others with Tweety, Porky, and/or Daffy? I remember one about making sure bath water's not too hot.

Chestnuts roasted by James Fabiano @ 04/21/2004 12:42 AM EST

Hey. The Elementary School I student taught at had these things for lunch every frikkin day. (The Smiley ones). Those kids were so sick of them it's not even funny

Chestnuts roasted by TinManFan @ 04/21/2004 01:03 AM EST

I'd kill to be regional governor of French Fries

Chestnuts roasted by RedBaron @ 04/21/2004 04:28 AM EST

Matt,
I would still keep an eye on that algae eater--they can get pretty aggressive when they get used to a tank.

As for the aggression with the cichlids, there's two things--first, completely reshuffle the aquarium decor, even adding and removing things--it changes the territories, so they would all be on equal footing, and everybody should have a space. Second, parrot cichlids ARE bred with an asshole gene--one half of them is Red Devil cichlid, who do everything they can to live up to that "devil" moniker.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 04/21/2004 09:37 AM EST

here is a great twisted take on those GIjoe PSA.

Matt Keep up the good work.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/gijoe.html

Chestnuts roasted by BwaHaHaHa @ 04/21/2004 09:42 AM EST

"In case ya missed it, I threw a new article up on Friday." It sounded like you barfed. Cool.

And I'm pretty sure that the other half of the battle is "doing." Like, applying the things you are "knowing" because of the first half of the battle. Violence is good too though. TTT rocks. It's sexy like X-E.

Chestnuts roasted by DeathFrogurt @ 04/21/2004 09:49 AM EST

Matt, I thought all of the post-movie Trans episodes were supposed to suck?

Chestnuts roasted by i was a lion @ 04/21/2004 09:58 AM EST

It's sort of a weird thing -- you'll get eps that are truly terrible, almost painful to watch, and then you'll have others that probably outmatch any of the pre-movie eps. Still, neglecting the crap on the new DVD set and just sticking with the good stuff, there's plenty here. ROOPrime is a great two-parter. The Rebirth series...wouldn't really call it "good," but definitely strange and interesting.

Guess it depends on how you look at 'em. If you're in the mood to hate, they're perfectly HATA-BULL. If you're in the mood to love, you'll overlook the shit and tell everyone how much cooler the opening credits were in the post-movie eps.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/21/2004 10:03 AM EST

Sean -- I'll give the decor-switcheroo a whirl, couldn't hurt.

Course, since there's so many aggressives and outright assholes in the tank, I'm gonna have to buy a whole different setup to house the blue crayfish I've been dying to buy for years.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/21/2004 10:04 AM EST

BwaHaHaHa, Here is the original site for the GI Joe PSA remixes with all the ones listed Fensler has made so far:
http://www.fenslerfilm.com/?sec=video

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 04/21/2004 11:00 AM EST

I think that fat kid from The Cosby Show is Peter Costa. It looks like he didn't do much since the show like some other Cosby "kids" (ex: Sondra). Here the link to Peter:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0182279/

Chestnuts roasted by lepnhoj @ 04/21/2004 11:18 AM EST

But do the fish come out crunchy in the microwave?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/21/2004 11:38 AM EST

Matt--I would definitely put the crayfish in a different tank. It should only need about 5 gallons and a little filter and heater-crayfish are great for being tough. And Blue Crayfish are less likely to bust the glass than a mantis shrimp.

By the way, I have lost track--what size is the tank? That can matter too, since I've seen Geophagus over 9" long.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 04/21/2004 11:57 AM EST

I would say this Geophagus is 6-7", depending on if we're counting the translucent taily parts and whatnot. For reference, he's able to swallow one of those frozen brime shrimp squares practically whole -- or at least, he gets it in his mouth and isn't quite sure how to swallow it all.

Tank is a 55 gallon.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/21/2004 12:03 PM EST

That's a big tank. The one in my living room is only 5 gallon.
I recently lost my favorite (a fresh water eel) to "the ick". Our Mollies and ghost shrimp make quick work of the corpse. It was pretty horrible.
Luckily, some chick bought my roommate 3 Bala sharks. Now when I'm on the couch watching TV sometimes I'll look over at the tank and quietly sing the theme song to that old board game "Shark Attack" to myself. It eases my pain.

Chestnuts roasted by BaronVonHotPants @ 04/21/2004 12:39 PM EST

From an article in Reader's Digest about getting goldfish and finding out things like a diseasee that Dr. Seuss might have named:
The fish are sick.
Sick, sick, sick.
The fish are sick.
Sick with Ick.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/21/2004 01:43 PM EST

Matt,

Totally off topic,( but then again when do any of us stay on topic) I was walking around the Wal~Mart in my old home town today and I FOUND TIGER TAILS!! I don't know if you have found them yet, but I remembered that you were looking for them. I in fact have one package in my possession as I type (yeah I shoulda bought a box but it's bill week ). Anyway if you want the info lemme know and I'll send it to you.. hopefully they'll be able to hook you up, if not I'll just mail you some.

Chestnuts roasted by hugsnstuff @ 04/21/2004 03:31 PM EST

That's a good size tank Matt, but your fish will outgrow it eventually. Of course, before they get crowded, I'm sure the toughest ones will "make some room" for themselves. And it sounds like you Geophagus has room to grow yet.

My tank is a 55 gallon as well (coincidence? yes). I only have a bushy nose pleco, two polypterus and a three-spot gourami (he killed the other four) plus two ghost shrimp that have avoided being eaten for 4 months (there were 50, the rest were gone in a week). I think I'll get platies or swordtials--the way they breed, I won't have to buy live food anymore (as long as the parents don't get eaten).

We sometimes miss our 120 gallon tank. Or our 160 gallon indoor pond. You haven't lived until you've looked down on spotted gars grabbing fish at the surface. but watching polypterus do it is much more exciting, a la Jaws. On the other hand, a tank that could double as a really disgusting bathtub can be a littl emuch in terms of size and weight when you keep moving around.

For the record--three bala sharks+mollies in 5 gallons is death waiting to happen. Balas get over 9" long.

And never judge food to big for a fish--my smaller polypterus was a little baby (complete with gill filaments) when we got him--he ate carnivore pellets that were bigger than his head, usually two or three. Now he'll eat guppies and shrmip and pellets until he's tripled his girth.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 04/21/2004 04:04 PM EST

Friday (my response I had saved since then): I vaguely remember those Looney Toons PSA's. Mostly, for Bugs' "Y'know kids..." tone. I have one unrelated 80's PSA on tape where they tell you it's not okay to try to ride your dog like a horse (but shoving a camera in its face, and squeezing its balls for fifty takes untill it barks just right is just dandy appearantly).

Fries: I always wanted to try those Funky Fries, but Jimmy Neutron and his deforminated forehead always killed my appetite.

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 04/21/2004 04:57 PM EST

Wolfie has to be one of the coolest lookin fish I've ever seen. I don't have any fish but I do have a painted turtle that I've had for 15 years now. I dubbed him Timmy The Turtle and he's been through hell and back, even got attacked and dragged out of his tank by a racoon. Because of the damn racoon Timmy's front right leg had to be taken off and his tail is also a stump. Timmys a trooper though and can still move his 1 lb ass about half a mile an hour. I just spent that big a paragraph talking about my pet that no one will probably find interesting at all.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 04/21/2004 05:29 PM EST

How can you not love Smiles??? Dinner is always more fun when you can stab a tiny face with a fork and dip it in ketchup so it bleeds from the eyes.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/21/2004 05:41 PM EST

I always loved the irony of the GI Joe messages. They'd spend 29 minutes killing and slaughtering cobra troops, and then in that final minute they would tell kids that violence is bad, or not to litter. Now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

Chestnuts roasted by Lonewolf @ 04/21/2004 05:59 PM EST

You are right about the violence, Lonewolf, but even as kid, I knew it was cop-out that both sides always parachuted out of death. The B.A.T.s were the only Cobras that got destroyed in the show; while Duke (who originally was supposed to die in the movie) and older Cobra characters were hurt in the movie.

Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 04/21/2004 07:10 PM EST

thanks Me. I always wondered where they came from.

Chestnuts roasted by BWhahaha @ 04/21/2004 07:47 PM EST

TinManFan I know what you are talking about they served those happy face fries at my jr. high and high school.
On the article from Fri. I remember that bugs bunny PSA and I would tell my mom the would dialogue of it.
This is something totally off topic but, in my media class on friday we watched an outdated video on ads and it showed a clip from the Pac man cereal commercial.

Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 04/21/2004 08:08 PM EST

Purple? chips?
o_o >_< o_0
man the fish should be called fishy McGills....
cant think of anything creative right now cept for spazmoid...

Chestnuts roasted by Allie @ 04/21/2004 09:03 PM EST

Been trying to post this comment for awhile. I remember a film strip from my elementary school that was an extended version of the Looney Tunes home safety stuff. Perhaps the commercials were excerpts??? There was another filmstrip (that's pre-DVD and VHS for you young people. Gees, I am not even 25 yet) that dealt with "bad touch." Now, I am sure that I am mistaken but, I have faint memory that Bugs and company were in that one too (!). Surely I am blending my educational films but, does anyone have any insight.
Matt, any word on an article about that "lost" GREMLINS 2 trailer I sent you????

Chestnuts roasted by manimal789 @ 04/21/2004 09:08 PM EST

Yeah, should be a question mark after "insight." D'oh!

Chestnuts roasted by manimal789 @ 04/21/2004 09:11 PM EST

ATTENTION Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fans, I have a question!

(Of all the places I frequent, this seems the most appropriate place to ask.)

Are you getting the same Pizza Hut campaign in the States that we're getting in Canada, where, if you make a certain order at Pizza Hut, they'll include a DVD of either Lost in Space (the 1999 TV retread), Weekend at Bernie's or the original live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Something about that campaign bothered me, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it why but I just had an epiphany... didn't the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film have product placement for a certain pizza chain in it? That in itself isn't a problem; I'm a capitalist and everyone's got to make a buck and I prefer seeing real brand names in movies anyhow, since it adds to the realism (okay, not that realism is that important in a movie with animatronic humanized turtles).

My problem is... if I'm not at all mistaken, wasn't the pizza chain product placement in the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film for... Domino's? So Pizza Hut is now delivering a film wherein there is essentially a short commercial for their competitors? Did they screen these films in advance before approving them? Or maybe it's digitally-altered.

(And, yes, I remember that, in the NES adaptation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game, there was product placement for Pizza Hut. That's why I remember that it was for Domino's in the movie, because, since the game came later, I was surprised that the Turtles switched their pizza joint allegiances.) :P

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 04/22/2004 12:49 AM EST

I spent one weekend watching all the transformers episodes i've downloaded. Actually saw the headmaster/target masters episodes for the first time. I never even knew they existed.

On a related note to the commercial article: I got a patch of skin that changes freaky colors in warm/cold water (or just in general) got it from an accident I had. I'll include it on my upcoming action figure.

Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy Mckracken @ 04/22/2004 01:19 AM EST

No, I'm pretty sure it was pizza hut in the TMNT movie, because they also sponsored the "coming out of our shells" tour if my memory serves. Maybe the Matt that owns this site can verify that...I just remember there being a TMNT giveaway tape at the pizza hut...

Chestnuts roasted by Matt Obscure @ 04/22/2004 03:20 AM EST

No, it was definitely Domino's in the movie, because I remember how odd it was that they switched EVERYTHING(games, music tour, whatever) to Pizza Hut after that...

About TF: Season 3, very good way of putting it, Matt. Best I've ever heard. Personally, I like the post-movie opening songs better than pre. Be neat if you tossed up the openings to the first few seasons of TF from Japan. Strange stuff... Season 3 there is TF 2010...

Steve Brandon: Glad to see someone else doesn't adhere to this country's whole obsession with the word "pop." Tell me, though, do you call Snickers and stuff "candy bars" or "chocolate bars." My wife insists on chocolate bars, which is hard to argue given the general narrow-mindedness the candy up here seems to have... stuff like Pay Days, which have no chocolate in them whatsoever(that I can tell) are near impossible to find...

LBD "Nytetrayn"

Chestnuts roasted by Lord Black "Nytetrayn" Draco @ 04/22/2004 07:36 AM EST

LBD "Nytetrayn:"

Down here in Texas, we call soft drinks "Coke." Even Dr. Pepper is referred to as "coke."

I also think "pop" is a very annoying word to use to refer to soft drinks.

And it should be "Candy Bar" Not "Chocolate Bars"

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 04/22/2004 08:29 AM EST

I'll just say this about your fry drama...
I think the purple fries increase the popularity of the green and purple ketchup.

Speaking of commercials above, is there anywhere online where I can download the Thick Dairy Queen Blizzard one from last summer with the two 'dudes' DJing a beatbox hip hop scratch?

Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 04/22/2004 09:01 AM EST

"I wish I wasn't potatoes."

No one line has ever made me weep so much in my life.

I named my pleco' after some greek god (always thought plecostomous sounded greek to me). Well, I'm not sure it was greek, it was one of the characters in clash of the titans ^ ^

Never had any problems with him in my tank though (150 gallon ocatagon tank) but I also stocked mine with aggressive fish. If you want to add some cool flavor to your tank though, try getting an Apacu, it's a toothless pianah that grows to immense sizes. I've had mine for almost a year and he could probubly feed an ethopian family for a few months.

Also, that bugs bunny commercial was complete tits, totally forgot about that from when I was a kid. Just one question though, where's the Hi-C bendy straw commercial at?

Chestnuts roasted by Toxikfoxx @ 04/22/2004 09:24 AM EST

The touching story of what it's like to be a potato, facing the inevitability of either being eaten or thrown in the trash, reminded me of this... thing: http://www.monkeon.co.uk/potato/

Chestnuts roasted by Aaron @ 04/22/2004 09:39 AM EST

So, uh, is Pizza Hut gonna superimpose their brand pizza over every Domino's image in the movie?... that would RAWK! I think I hear the Noid laughing in the background.

Right on, Cameron! It's fun trying to explain to people outside the South that "Coke" means soft drink... See, this is how it works:

Person 1: "You want a Coke?"
Person 2: "Sure."
Person 1: "Ok, what would you like? We've got Coke, Sprite, and Dr. Pepper."

Isn't that AWESOME?!

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 04/22/2004 10:01 AM EST

Great commercials..well rounded variety there. Shaddow ninjas were lame...and had kung fu action..i still have my storm shaddow one some wheres. His arms twirled as a spinning attack...its gay.

As for the he-man pics...battle damage he-man proves my theory that he-man loved the cock.

Chestnuts roasted by chris the drunk @ 04/22/2004 02:28 PM EST

Steve Brandon: It doesn't matter that the pizza that was delivered to Mikey was Domino's, because if you remember...the pizza guy was late and Mikey got it for cheaper. That was showing us that we could rip Domino's off if we ordered pizza from a sewer. Now they don't have the thirty minutes or less shpeel, so the turtles moved on to pizza hut where the pizza is better anyways.

Chestnuts roasted by Lonewolf @ 04/22/2004 02:32 PM EST

Actually, to be perfectlyt honest, I knew that it was Domino's in the movie because I looked it up prior to typing all that out, I just phrased it as a question because I wanted to point out the total absurdity of Pizza Hut delivering a film with a blatant Domino's ad written into the plot, and didn't want to come across as being too much of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles authority. And I think it's funnier to phrase that sort of thing like a question. Unless all the reviews I read were wrong when they mentioned product placement.

Lord Black "Nytetrayn" Draco: I'm a "chocolate bar" guy. "Candy bar" just seems weird, since, while I accept chocolate as a category of candy, "candy bar" just brings to mind sweet confections in a bar format without the cocoa bean in its list of ingredients, and the only non-chocolate candy I can think of offhand available in bar format in most Canadian convenience stores is Macintosh toffee.

On a related note, I remember reading an article a year or so ago about European Union bureaucrats getting into a snit with Nestl� because many of their former Rowntree brands like Aero and Smarties (the real Smarties, not the American candy of the same name produced by the Cee-Dee Candy company) are milk chocolate and not pure chocolate, not counting the black Aero which is pure chocolate, so they didn't want Nestl� calling them "chocolate"... I don't know if they ever got anywhere with that and if Nestl� has to advertise their confections as "candy bars" in Britian now.

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 04/22/2004 04:33 PM EST

Steve> Crazy shit, man... reminds me of those jokes you hear from some stand-ups about women and colors... "It's not red! It's 'maroon'!"

I prefer candy bar country, 'cuz I likes my Pay Days and living beyond the boundaries of the cocoa bean.

Nachokhaki> I spent 21 years of my life growing up in the South(NC to be precise), and all that time I thought people were just ignorant. This is certainly enlightening...

...then again, whenever I ask for a Coke here in Toronto, I get the same question. Sigh. Wouldn't bother me so much except I hate having to repeat myself.

LBD "Nytetrayn"

Chestnuts roasted by Lord Black "Nytetrayn" Draco @ 04/23/2004 09:23 AM EST

*Wife to me on a beautiful sunny Sunday morning when I should be outside doing Spring cleaning*: "What are you doing?"... Me: "I'm downloading a Bug's Bunny commercial."

Curse the speed of dial-up! She had the opportunity to interrupt me three times before I finished.

Regarding the Bugs Bunny PSA, all I can say is "goosebumps". I always considered myself pretty immune to PSA's and cartoon horror, but man, that morphing pot STILL gives me the heebie-jeebies. The sound of the rattling potlid doesn't help. Too effective.

I believe that PSA was one of the immortal Mel Blanc's last voice-over gigs before he passed on to his greater reward.

When I was very young, I noticed that the WB cartoons showed only one entry under the closing credits "Voice Characterizations": Mel Blanc. And I had wondered why no one else ever got "credit" for any of the other voices. I assumed he was the "bigshot" and the other people who did the other voices were underlings.

Little did I realize that with few exceptions, there WERE no underlings doing the voices, he did all the voices in the tooncast�."The Man of a Thousand Voices."....Hmph. WB probably saved a bundle on salaries and benefits by using one guy to do all the voices.

Little known fact: Larry Storch (Agarn from F Troop) did a lot of cartoon voices also, but no matter who he did, he always sounded like Agarn. If you closed your eyes during one of his voiced cartoons, you'd think there was only one schizophrenic cartoon character.

I believe Mel's son Noel has followed in his father's footsteps and has done some Looney Tunes voices.

Many, many thanks for this trip down memory lane..............� Er, make that FOUR interruptions.

And please make my day. Please find the Fluffernutter commercial. The tune was a classic, not to mention the sweet sandwich itself. You might start another cult with this one.

And the Drake's Fruit pie commercial. The one that starts with the 50's acapella-style rappers singing "Gooooooood��Gooooooood��Also, the same ringleader guy sang a Papermate Pen commercial: Write-on brothers, write-on��he had a great voice.

And the gum with the liquid center, I forget the name, but a gorgeous blonde comes up with "I didn't Know" as part of the refrain about not knowing the "gum" (nudge, nudge. Say no more. Say no more ) was loaded. I'd marry that blonde if I found her today.

Chestnuts roasted by ibinsomniac @ 04/23/2004 10:59 PM EST

In regards to your new commercial article (or however new it is), you state "There were several versions of Voltron through the years -- some made of cheaper plastic, others with vehicles replacing the lions". This is both true and false (don't know if you have had a voltron tirade yet, so this is just my two cents). Yes, there were several material differances of the lion voltron over the years, however, the lion voltron (Voltron 3) never significantly varied. There were, to my knowledge, three total voltron incarnations. The first was one you briefly mentioned as "cars replacing lions". This had a short lived american cartoon debut (though whether voltron 1 actually released stateside before or after voltron 3, I can't say). This voltron had a series of cars and space ships, and the final combonation of vehicles (the ultimate last ditch move) was when a sleek red spaceship docked on the chest of the megolith (it looked rather like the prototype planes they develop nowadays that can fly to Alpha Centuri and back if they could just get physics to stand still). -continued

Chestnuts roasted by Jason Braaten @ 04/24/2004 05:02 PM EST

the second incarnation of Voltron came with an even briefer american release than the first. It was rather simple (which is likely why it didn't last). It was three Mech's (yeah, I know...I am cross-cartoon-contaminating), that combined together to be one large six armed robot. There were toy releases of all of these voltron incarnations (as you acknowledged), but the lions seemed to pack a little more punch with kids and marketing experts.

Chestnuts roasted by jason braaten @ 04/24/2004 05:05 PM EST

A little late, but...
I remember the Bugs PSA- it freaked me out when I was little, but it wasn't that bad. I was a little uneasy, though.

And those fries make me ill just thinking about them. Ugh. (But not as bad as Jimmy Neutron's other fries...) Why does everything have to be all wacky? My friends and I still would not have eaten crazy ketchup (catsup?) or fries, etc. when we were little.

Chestnuts roasted by Rainbowfeet @ 04/24/2004 11:13 PM EST

If it seems like that Bugs Bunny PSA ends abruptly, what they actually did was take a longer educational film and edit it down into several 30 and 60 second spots for TV. There was also one with Daffy Duck testing the smoke alarms, and Tweety in the bathroom warning that "Scalding hot water can burn in less than THREE SECONDS!!!" I swear, I remember when this came out, and the Shriners trotted out Mel himself on some LOCAL talk show to plug it.

Chestnuts roasted by Evil Colonel @ 04/25/2004 11:46 PM EST

Finally, Goggles has come back to the XE blog! I'm sure you've all been on the edge of your seats wondering what happened to Goggles, right...ahem, right? Anyway, i've been in the process of relocating to a new job over the past couple months. I'm a copy editor for a newspaper now, and Matt, when my plans to take over the paper are finally put into motion the first thing i'll do is get the XE print article. Great commercials article. The Hulk ad is priceless, as was the line: "I still can't believe God didn't hand the reigns over to Hulk Hogan after seeing this." To this day, on the rare occasion I cook something, I always turn my pot handles inward because of that Bugs PSA. Great stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by Goggles Pisano @ 04/26/2004 12:11 AM EST

Yup, Smiles have been around up here (Canada, of course) for a few years. They're kinda weird; not quite fries as much as mashed-type potatoes in a crispy/soggy (depending on how long you like to cook them) batter...something...? They're not bad. A little dry, though.

As for fish, I have a currently empty 25 gallon or so tank and I hope to fill it up someday. I definitely want an algae eater and maybe some of those little guys that look like eels/snakes. You know...those striped things.

I once had a goldfish that lived for 4.5 years. Haven't had any live nearly that long since. I suppose you've had some that lived longer than that, huh Matt?

Chestnuts roasted by Ripplin @ 04/26/2004 01:33 PM EST

wow yo i hate you

Chestnuts roasted by caillou @ 05/04/2004 09:13 AM EST

Now THAT is some good jokin'. I love the hell out of you.

Chestnuts roasted by Lauren @ 05/06/2004 04:18 PM EST

Hey Matt!

I just found your site a couple of days ago and boy it's been a lot of fun walking down memory lane.

I wanted to let you know that those Looney Toons Shriner Commercials are actually edited portions of a 30 minute video that was sent around for school assembly's. I remember seeing a long form version of those commericals that was narrated by Mel Blanc, in or around 86-88 at The Center School which was in Warren, NJ at the time. A trip to your local Library may wield this little treasure, the version I saw was in 16mm.

Chestnuts roasted by David A Dein @ 05/19/2004 10:29 AM EST

Thanks David for vindicating my post on 4/21. So, from NJ to FL, the Looney tunes Shriner safety filmstrip made its rounds.

Chestnuts roasted by manimal789 @ 06/15/2004 03:10 AM EST

How are those smiley fries new? They served those at my middle school five years ago every now and then...Did you just never acknowledge them until recently?

Chestnuts roasted by Bloodshed Goth @ 06/16/2004 12:05 AM EST

My school actually served those McCain Smiley Fries last year. They were damn good too, better than the regular french fries they served. About i/8 of those smiley fries turned out evil and deformed looking, though. Those ones were kind of scary, but delicious none the less.

Chestnuts roasted by Kozak6 @ 06/18/2004 12:06 AM EST

Daffy Duck also did one of these commercials. It was on fire safety though and it actually starred some kids who listened to Daffy as he pointed out fire hazards.

Chestnuts roasted by Bert Raccoon @ 07/06/2004 05:57 PM EST

You know those fries look remarkably like those giggles cookies Nabisco used to make back in the 80s. Speaking of giggles, I used to love those cookies. I wrote Nabisco in 2002 to request them to put giggles back out. However, they did start putting those smiley faces on the Nabisco crackers not too long after that. hmm? Could they have taken the idea of smiley faces I gave them in an email and implemented it in a cracker instead of the original cookie?

Chestnuts roasted by Jonathan @ 09/09/2004 02:41 PM EST

sorry to bump this topic, but the Bugs Bunny "Kitchen" PSA does have a good ending to it. the pot turns in itself, instead of Bugs doing it. It smiles, but it's hard to see because it zooms out right when that happens.

Chestnuts roasted by Charlie @ 10/03/2004 06:28 PM EST

sorry to bump this topic, but the Bugs Bunny "Kitchen" PSA does have a good ending to it. the pot handle turns in itself, instead of Bugs doing it. It smiles, but it's hard to see because it zooms out right when that happens.

Chestnuts roasted by Charlie @ 10/03/2004 06:29 PM EST