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04/13/2004 Entry: "dunhill lights ps"

By popular request (a whole four people!), here's another X-E audio conversion, this time for the Polly-O String Cheese article. It translated like crap and comes off sounding like a mother reading her 2nd grade son's book report, but hey, it's Tuesday morning and you've got nothing better to do.

New article coming today/tonight -- an old NES game review. I've mentioned it in passing in a post years back, but never really gave it the credit or attention it probably deserves. Not a popular game by any stretch, but if you feel like guessing, I'll give you a one-word hint: "strobes." Vaguest hint in the history of hints. I'm trying to get into Guinness.

In other news, I read that one of the Coney Island Aquarium's famous beluga whales just kicked the bucket. Pretty sad -- those whales have been there for decades, so if you've visited the place even over fifteen years ago, chances are high that you stood and gawked at the thing. Here's my review of the aquarium, from...wow, July 2002.

REPLIES: 37 comments

Could it - and this might just be wishful thinking - could it be Jaws for the NES? God, I hated that game. I hated getting conch shells and I hated having to fight the baby sharks. It just filled me with fury the same way a thirsty third grader fills his belly with the famous Ecto-Cooler.

Chestnuts roasted by Master Harold @ 04/13/2004 09:28 AM EST

Second Post!....damnit, I bet I would have had first post, but I had to look at that porn didn't I? Well anyway I've got a great idea, how about audio versions of the Chia pet saga...I'm sure it would sound positively awful. Anyway looking forward to the NES game, got my fingers crossed for Nightmare on Elm Street, although I can't quite remeber if Matt ever talked about it. And Finally RIP Mr Beluga, you and your fishy breath will be missed.

Chestnuts roasted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 04/13/2004 09:43 AM EST

Sweet, an NES Review! Don't see too much of them around here. I'm guessing Bart vs. The Space Mutants. No idea why i'm guessing that! You're right, that was the worst hint!

Chestnuts roasted by Ryan @ 04/13/2004 09:52 AM EST

Rumor has it that the whale died, due to waiting so long for the new Chia Pet episode.

Chestnuts roasted by Jim @ 04/13/2004 10:23 AM EST

I'm guessing Back to the Future for the NES. Worst Game Evar.

Chestnuts roasted by McFly @ 04/13/2004 10:23 AM EST

Matt, you should do a review of Star Wars for the NES... the Japanese version, I mean (by Namco). I really doubt the programmers ever saw the movies.

Worst NES game? Back to the Future was bad, but nothing tops (or... bottoms...) Home Alone.

Chestnuts roasted by Night_Trekker @ 04/13/2004 10:37 AM EST

Was the hunt for tiger tails still on? I found some last night at a truck stop.

Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken @ 04/13/2004 11:12 AM EST

Matt, s'long as it's not a PC game caled "Yserbius" I won't have to break your knees ;)

Hey, considering we're stuck on the same hell on earth, you wanna get a beer tonight? ;p

Chestnuts roasted by LordKaT @ 04/13/2004 11:17 AM EST

In honor of the Beluga, tonight I shall eat some fish sticks, and blow water out my nose.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/13/2004 11:17 AM EST

strobes = jaws.

easiest clue ever... probably because I just played it like 3 days ago, so it's fresh in my mind. I hope it's jaws... it's gotta be jaws... you needed strobes to beat it... it's gotta be jaws.

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 04/13/2004 11:29 AM EST

mcfly... back to the future WAS the worst game ever... did you ever get passed the milkshake throwing level?

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 04/13/2004 11:30 AM EST

Nintendo games based on movies are usually bad. As are movies based on video games. 'Course I am still awaiting the highly anticipated movie "Yars Revenge".

I have a 125 gallon aquarium that is sitting empty in my apartment because I can't afford to get the epuipment needed to make it a full salt water set up. I bought it about 10 years ago and used it as a terrarium with fish, turtles, and salamanders, and since then has housed iguanas and hamsters.

$3000 to make it ready for salt water. I may just sell it.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 04/13/2004 11:34 AM EST

I'm crossing my fingers hoping that it's '3-D Worldrunner,' that's by far one of my favorite Nintendo games, I would take it out and play it now if I had a functional Nintendo.

Chestnuts roasted by Goonie4Life @ 04/13/2004 11:37 AM EST

It HAS to be Jaws for the NES. God, me and my friends used to get drunk and have contests to see how fast we could beat that stupid game. It's much harder to avoid those sting rays after about 9 shots of Jagermeister.

Chestnuts roasted by BaronVonHotPants @ 04/13/2004 11:56 AM EST

Love the audio conversion of the String cheese Matt. As for Star Wars(NES)Japaneese version is the worst game. Does Vader really turn into a giant Scorpion? I think not.

Chestnuts roasted by Rowan Steele @ 04/13/2004 12:22 PM EST

In the interest of Science, and the WTF nature of the 'net, howzabout applying audio to certain posts? Some of these responses need to be heard out loud. I think the best ones came during last year's advent. Also, it's a chance to experiment with other voices. On a NES note, I heard that this June, Big N will release a GBA SP in a NES color scheme, to go with NES games on GBA paks. Woo-Hoo! Another Pac-Man game to collect! And Zelda too!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/13/2004 12:38 PM EST

Not a bad idea there, King.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 04/13/2004 12:42 PM EST

Jaws is the only game I can think of with Strobes, It can't be a worst game ever review because Deadly Towers doesn't have Strobe lights in it..
Matt also didn't say it was a worst ever game.. Definatly Jaws..
Chad's right, that *was* an easy hint.

For more NES goodness click my name for my best NES games of all time article.

Last but not least, RIP you poor lil' Beluga whale, we won't forget you!

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 04/13/2004 12:48 PM EST

Yesterday I found out that I can fit into some of the larger little boy sixed shirts at the department store. Which means that I can score shirts with ninja turtles and Spiderman on them for like 10 bucks. I love being little.

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 04/13/2004 12:48 PM EST

gabbylicious is 4'6" and 65 lbs...... that's weird.

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 04/13/2004 02:44 PM EST

If Gabby was 6'4" and 65 lbs, THAT would be weird. Or if the postings were coming from your attic. Gooble-Gabby!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/13/2004 02:53 PM EST

for those who haven't seen this, i believe a link to it belongs here...

http://www.transfatty.com/newstoday/mrT.html

Chestnuts roasted by kranick @ 04/13/2004 03:16 PM EST

to what gabe said bout the GBA SP NES one?

http://gamestop.com/product.asp?product%5Fid=020237

Chestnuts roasted by Jed @ 04/13/2004 03:19 PM EST

Dude... the other night, me and my buddy were out in long island--at some aquarium and shit. Then my buddy's like-- Holy Shit, we gotta get rid of this Drano, ok? And I'm like, Dude, that's toxic, you can't just throw it in the ocean. So we went to this old amusement park looking thing, I think there were some fish there--and we found this old tank full of--I don't know, shit or something. Anyway, we dumped like 3 gallons of old Drano and shit into the tank. It sucks for whatever was in there with it!!!

Hey-- what was the name of that whale that died? Where did it die again?? Dude, that sucks when whales die. I heard that when Keiko the whale from free willy died, they gave it a burial on land. That's stupid. Whales belong in the water.

Oh, I hope you review the NES game "the rocketeer" sometime. Infact, a movie review of it would be cool too... it has Jennifer Connelly in it.

Chestnuts roasted by The Return of Long Duck Dong @ 04/13/2004 04:14 PM EST

Whoo-hoo! An NES review!! Drooling with anticipation...

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 04/13/2004 04:25 PM EST

....then the short guy shoved the box in my hands, "Count ten after I turn the corner, and open the box." Reaching down, he pulled a knob on his shoe and wheels clicked out of the bottom and he skated away on one foot. "Does Gumby know you swiped his gimmick?" I shouted after him. Being small, he disappeared into the crowd quickly, so I fudged my numbers and opened the box. I was confronted by eight large odd-looking jelly doughnuts and was about to reach for one when all eight unfolded their wings. Frosting covered pigeons! The flock orbited around my head for a few turns, then raced out over the crowd, zeroing in on a target. I heard a high-pitched scream, "You were supposed to count ten!" I tossed a rude gesture I learned from watching BBC sitcoms in his general direction, "That's what you get from Cracker Jacks! I ain't got time for this." And off I went for my appointment with Destiny and a hot cup of coffee.....

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/13/2004 05:37 PM EST

No no Chad, they make kids clothes pretty big now, cuz kids keep getting fatter. I'm talking like little boys large/extra large fits me, not the little ones.

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 04/13/2004 11:42 PM EST

COmpletely offtopic for the thread, but has anyone seen the commercials for Kool-Aid Ice Kool? It's regular Kool-Aid, but comes with an extra envelope of some kind of space age chemical additive that makes the drink cold without adding ice.

Something about that idea just makes me nervous.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 04/14/2004 08:50 AM EST

Kingklash, there's already been a Famicom GBA SP released in Japan, which comes complete with a shitload of NES games in GBA form. Its not fair! The Japanese get all the cool video game shit to the point that they don't even notice, cuz it happens so frequently!

Now I'm pissed! A review of "Mac and Me" would calm my nerves.

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 04/14/2004 11:41 AM EST

Not to throw high-grade fuel on the fire, but you can buy games out of vending machines too! Japan rules! Who won WWII in the Pacific?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 04/14/2004 11:57 AM EST

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