03/09/2004 Entry: "Sega Game Gear Videos & Spring Time Oreos!"

A mysterious reader mysteriously donated these, so let's review 'em. During the 1990s, the Howard Johnson hotel chain teamed up with Sega. It was the era of Game Gear, and every HoJo was stocked to the brim with portable video game systems and Sonic the Hedgehogs. That's all well and good, but as a direct result, we've got two of the worst videos I've ever seen, where a Howard Johnson employee pesters an ugly hotel guest about playing video games and being radical. Really brutal stuff. I've included a bunch of video clips. Why should I suffer alone?

Oh, in case you've missed it, Nabisco struck back with yet another Oreo variety: "Spring Oreo Cookies," with sky blue creme filling. They're gonna run out of colors soon. Evidently, "Spring" is our new nondenominational code word for "Easter," much like "Christmas" has become "Winter" or "Holiday." It's God fearing of a different kind. Save for the weird creme and a few strange scenes on the cookie tops, they're the same as you remember. Click here for a closer look.

More on Howard Johnson than you ever wanted to know.

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew T. @ 03/09/2004 05:02 PM EST

There's a few eggs in this one, if you play around with the Game Gear logo.

Chestnuts roasted by End Also @ 03/09/2004 05:08 PM EST

Uge to play Game Gear rising...

Chestnuts roasted by Blue Harvest @ 03/09/2004 05:15 PM EST

Are those cool menthol Oreos?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/09/2004 05:54 PM EST

Good thing I have my trusty Game Gear here with me in residence!

I have more games for my Sega consoles than for my Playstation, SNES, and GBA combined. My Game Gear games are pretty square, though: Jurassic Park, the Lion King, Sonic 2, Sonic Triple Trouble, and something called Psychic World (TOO HARD!). Then all my dreamcast games are burnt, but hey, the system's dead, so I feel no remorse.

I wasn't impressed with Nintendo's portable until the GBA. I remember when I was in grade 7, everybody made fun of me because I had a Game Gear and it wasn't "cool" like a Gameboy. That didn't make any sense to me, because at the time, Gameboy was that terrible olive-green screened toaster-sized monster (I don't think even the pocket variety was yet available), and it would be a few years until Gameboy Colour hit the scene (and I don't recall being impressed with it).

Chestnuts roasted by jjgoreha @ 03/09/2004 06:21 PM EST

Game Gear totally kicked Gameboys ass. Personally I never saw the appeal of the orriginal Gameboy, it was big and bulky, although the Game Gear was bigger, and it had the worst screen imaginable. It wasn't until the GBA that I develloped some kind of respect for the Gameboy system in general.

Chestnuts roasted by Tyler @ 03/09/2004 07:05 PM EST

Pshh Gameboy dominated Game Gear.
Gameboy had Tetris,Mario,Megaman,
Castlevania and Zelda. Game Gear
only had Sonic and Shining Force.

Chestnuts roasted by Meatwad @ 03/09/2004 07:39 PM EST

Those were pretty awful, but I still maintain that "How to Score More Points" narrated by the great-in-a-horrible-way Skip Rogers is both more annoying and totally useless in its advice. I highly recommend it for its schlock value. There were at least two videos in the series, and I know someone who has one of them. The other I've seen occasionally on eBay.

Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 03/09/2004 07:55 PM EST

I've got a few of those, Frostor. :) Never bothered to check 'em. Perhaps I should.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 03/09/2004 07:55 PM EST

I still find it strange that even the latest versions of Gameboy need a light attatched to play in the dark. Between my Game Gear (with TV adapter) and my friend's way-too-big Atari Lynx and portable Turbo Grafx 16 (forgot the name, but it used the same games from the console), we never saw the attraction to Gameboy.

Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 03/09/2004 08:33 PM EST

The real insulting thing is, that the commercials like that were made so stupidly because they figured that was as much as we could understand.

Chestnuts roasted by The_Blue_Meanie @ 03/09/2004 08:36 PM EST

Awesome, Matt--you totally should.

Chestnuts roasted by Frostor @ 03/09/2004 08:41 PM EST

Andrew T., there used to be a few Howard Johnson restaurants around the Boston area up until a few years back. Good place to go late night during the high school years.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 03/09/2004 08:49 PM EST

i don't remember the sega tips from HJ, but i sure remember alex kidd's ass-kid monster. I was scared of it when i was a young one.

Chestnuts roasted by nelson @ 03/09/2004 08:51 PM EST

I received a "Street Fighter II Turbo" video tape back in the day when it was going to be released for SNES. It was so awesome the way that the "kids at the arcade" responded to questions, their eyes cast down to the cue-cards behind the camera.

But damnit, I wanted Street Fighter II Turbo more than anything.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff Mack @ 03/09/2004 08:56 PM EST

Matt, I think you've finally found the worse instructional video, it's in no way entertaining, it's akin to that scene in a clockwork orange where Alex was set up to watch a film he couldn't turn away from. I want to as well...but it's strangely compelling at the same time. I think I got an eplelictic seizure from that first video.

Chestnuts roasted by Jimkaider @ 03/09/2004 09:18 PM EST

By the way Matt I'm doing a videogame to film article starting with Super Mario bros. for www.gaming-media.com if you're interested in seeing my attempt at XE style film reviews

Chestnuts roasted by Jimkaider @ 03/09/2004 09:20 PM EST

I don't think I ever saw one of those commercials, but I did see a few ads in video games mags. It seemed like a good deal: you get to play Game Gear, and you get to stay at a place called "HoJo" (it was a helluva lot funnier when I was younger).

That was back when I had a Genesis but not a Game Gear, and I really wanted one. I mean, it was essentially a color Gameboy, with better graphics and some of my favorite Genesis titles! Oh boy!

And then I actually played a few Game Gear games..... O_o (and that's coming from a die hard Sega fan)

Chestnuts roasted by Night_Trekker @ 03/09/2004 09:52 PM EST

I got a game gear for my 11th birthday in 1994. I only had three games for it, b/c they were so expensive. I had the Sonic game that came with it, a Simpsons game, and an Aladdin game that was complicated.

And then I just lost the darn thing in my room in 1996-ish, and I never saw it again. I cleaned out my entire room when I moved in 2000, and I never saw the darn thing.

Chestnuts roasted by Anita @ 03/09/2004 10:10 PM EST

My video-game-addicted sister had Game Boy the moment it came out, but it wouldn't be until around the turn of the millenium, long after its heyday, that we'd even get a Sega Genesis, much less a Game Gear. My brother has at least three versions of Game Boy, including my sister's original and the most recent - he frequently plays with all of them.

Does Howard Johnson's even still exist? I don't think there's ever been one in this part of New Jersey (extreme south), at least that I can remember. Mom says she once worked in one in Virginia when she was a teenager, but it's long gone.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 03/09/2004 10:14 PM EST

*Looks at the Springtime Oreos*

Oh man, it's bad enough they took away our Christmas... but now, Easter? Say it ain't so! I have to have my Easter candy! Why are they doing this? Are Christian holidays so evil? Really, you can refer to Christian holidays, Nabisco. I'm an atheist, and I don't care! I'm cool with it! REALLY!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Paul Ortego @ 03/09/2004 11:25 PM EST

Is it because of HoJo that we have J.Lo?

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 03/09/2004 11:40 PM EST

Anyone seen Kevin Smith's film, 'Vulgar'? I think Fat Man is in that...rent it & pay attention to the creepy old rapist man...I think that's him. Would it be too much of a stretch?

Chestnuts roasted by Jackie Crow @ 03/09/2004 11:53 PM EST

Anyone seen Kevin Smith's film, 'Vulgar'? I think Fat Man is in that...rent it & pay attention to the creepy old rapist man...I think that's him. Would it be too much of a stretch?

Chestnuts roasted by Jackie Crow @ 03/09/2004 11:53 PM EST

Vh1's "i love the 80's strikes back" is on all week i think, this is great TV!!
I'm sure you're all watching it too right?

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 03/10/2004 12:43 AM EST

I have four of the six Nintendo Power videos that were sent out. The Donkey Kong Country one is a true classic, and there are no webpages about it, so I made one. And now I can't log into Geocities, so I can't upload the finished product and link you!! Nobody write one until I get mine up, okay? That tape was great.

I'm also going to do articles on the other three I've got, and it would help to have info on the ones I DON'T have. Does anybody know anything about the Banjo-Kazooie one or the one that introduced the N64? I've heard the B-K one had Jon Lovitz as its narrator.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 03/10/2004 12:45 AM EST

I've got a couple copies of the Donkey Kong 64/Jet Force Gemini preview tape, that's pretty sweet. I've also got a "how to score more points on nintendo games" tape by Kodak. It has Wizards and Warriors, Mega Man 2, Top Gun, Platoon, and Metal Gear. I remember owning cooler instructional tapes as a kid and was never able to locate any more.

P.S The sounds that Fat Man makes while playing Game Gear may haunt me for the rest of my life. Simply horrifying.

Chestnuts roasted by Bill Cosby's Sweater @ 03/10/2004 01:23 AM EST

AWESOME! Haha you finally posted about the spring oreos. I tasted them first hand last week. Think doublestufs with blue food coloring. Don't eat too many of them or you'll regret it severely the next day. I think they should have made Easter ones that were blue, pink, and yellow, but Nabisco has no balls and is afraid to drift from political correctness.

Chestnuts roasted by Randy @ 03/10/2004 01:37 AM EST

i had all the videos for the n64 game previews and whatnot. Cheesyest things ive ever seen! Sadly(?) i threw them out a few years ago so i cant relive the moment. :(

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 03/10/2004 01:55 AM EST

Good god that fat guy is ugly..
I swear the 80's and 90's were the even scarrier than the 70's!

Game Gear was sooooo under-rated though, Too bad Nintendo didn't have the hardware the Sega had..

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 03/10/2004 03:03 AM EST

I had the Starfox 64 video, it was great. It even helped me talk my mom into buying the game for me.

Winter and Spring solstice celebrations were around long before Christianity. They just incorporated a lot of the pagan stuff (trees, rabbits) into their two large holidays to help convert the godless heathens. I've always mostly celebrated the secular aspects of Christmas and Easter anyway, so I'm not too beat up about our junk food being more generic in terms of thematic celebrations.

Chestnuts roasted by marioshoku @ 03/10/2004 03:14 AM EST

Gameboy Advance SP plays original gameboy games and gameboy color games in addition to gameboy advance games. It's the only handheld system you need. Gamegear? What's that?

Chestnuts roasted by Meatwad @ 03/10/2004 03:50 AM EST

I had that Power Rangers Game Gear Game. I also still have every one of those Nintendo pormotional videos mentioned above. Pretty funny stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by Rood @ 03/10/2004 05:29 AM EST

This brings back memories. I wish I still had my old Sega Visions magazines from 1994-1996, because I remember a two page splash ad with the HoJo promotion.
Also, that magazine was more for the images than the actual gaming tips. It was more like a readable version of TechTV's X-Play without Morgan Webb. You've gotta love that girl.
To be truthful, I'm surprised that Leo Laporte hasn't taken over that show yet. He's already stolen Call For Help. I thought that The Screen Savers was roughly his territory.

Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 03/10/2004 06:07 AM EST

Vulgar isn't a Kevin Smith film. It was released by his production company (View Askew), and directed by Brian (Steve-Dave) Johnson.

Chestnuts roasted by DJ Maniak @ 03/10/2004 07:27 AM EST

Hey all long time lurker first time blogger.

yep the late 80's to mid 90's were a haven for bad video game related media.

Aside from these "HOJO" tapes and countless other lame strategy tapes you also had such shows as

Gamepro T.V: starring Funhouse's J.D Roth and some stoner guy

Video Power: The game show.
(not the cartoon that preceeded it)
just to name a few.

Chestnuts roasted by Klepto Fu Pete @ 03/10/2004 08:59 AM EST

Simply ghastly. Both Game Gear and the HoJo as separate things. But combined as one is pretty close to being on the 9th level of HELL! I need to was my eyes out with Holy water now. Excuse me.

Chestnuts roasted by Rowan Steele @ 03/10/2004 09:04 AM EST

I never had a gamegear, it was the nintendo era back then... those things looked pretty cool though and were lightyears ahead of gameboy.

Chestnuts roasted by Recoil @ 03/10/2004 10:01 AM EST

Speaking of JD Roth, what ever happened to him?

Chestnuts roasted by Rowan Steele @ 03/10/2004 11:19 AM EST

I have the DKC (no relation to KFC) tape. Fill out those warranty cards, children. GB was lower cost because it was b/w, non lit, and both factors together ment it didn't eat up the batteries as fast as Lynx, Turbo Express, Game Gear, and the rest. When your parents control the allowence, you get the cheap stuff. I have a GBA, and plan on getting a SP right shortly, and mutate the reg'lar Advance with wierd accessories like the GBA-to-TV converter, and the portable TV add-on. And whatever else might be out there.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/10/2004 11:35 AM EST

It's funny how, as little kids, we can be totally oblivious to how insanely stupid something like this video actually is.

Matt, why didn't you include a clip of Fat Man transforming into Hotel Guy?

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Monkey @ 03/10/2004 11:37 AM EST

I would've if it was worth seeing -- it was just a jumpcut. Fat Man waves goodbye, flash, and it's Hotel Guy in the cab instead. Giving the audience a creepy look.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 03/10/2004 11:39 AM EST

I haven't read this entire thread, but I got a game gear b/c of renting it at a HO-JO. I liked it so much that I sold my Game Boy (old monochrome green screen) to get one.

It was the biggest mistake of my life. Game Gear games were few and far inbetween. I liked Sonic and two other games...and that was it. Battery life was terrible; the screen was washed out and easily scratched. I will say that the sound was WAY better than Game Boy...but only b/c I am hearing impaired and GG's speaker was loud enough for me to hear.

----

As for the Oreo cookies, I haven't seen them, but I HAVE seen "Easter Pringles" that are some weird purple color. Looks really nasty. Anyone tried them?

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 03/10/2004 12:07 PM EST

Gah, the Fat Man was so icky. He practically quivered with the excitement of hitting on the maid, when he didn't know she was a man anyway. He's like those icky guys who hit on girls at the bar. I dunno why they think they have a chance, I mean haven't they seen a mirror lately?

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 03/10/2004 12:24 PM EST

Speakin'of Easter, I saw The Passion the other night. Pretty darned cool in my op'. But I did have to fight the urge to shout out lines from Life of Brian at key points in the film. "Blessed are the Cheesemakers!"

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/10/2004 12:30 PM EST

I would SO go down on Fat Man :)

Chestnuts roasted by Kristal @ 03/10/2004 12:51 PM EST

That is without a shadow of a doubt, the worst video I've ever seen (and lord knows I've seen my fair share).

"Do a good job with those pillows, miss." That's about as bad as asking a woman the time, because you need to take your herpes medication.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeremiah @ 03/10/2004 12:52 PM EST

Only on X-E will you find an article like this one, a reference to Vulgar, and a juxtaposition of
The Passion of Christ and The Life of Brian... god bless us, everyone...

HO-JO!

Chestnuts roasted by Doc @ 03/10/2004 12:53 PM EST

I loved the free NES cartridge of Dragon Warrior that came with a subscription to Nintendo Power back in the day. Had to be THE best subscription giveaway I can remember, since the game was great. Even coming with a players guide to the RPG. Bonus.
Dragon warrior was second only to my gold edition of Legend of Zelda in playing time clocked.

Anyone remember the old tricks to Jump Start the Nintendo when the thing wouldn't load?

1.The spit take: Spitting lightly into the slot of the cartridge over the copper/metal leads, as this was supposed to help spark or something. (Many used cartridges have little rust spots on the leads, wonder why?)

2.The Push and Slam: Pushing the cartridge into the NES and slamming it in at just the right speed, then powering on.(Learned skill.)

3.The Bounce: With cartridge in NES push down and then make it come up then bounce it back down, Just as you hit power off then on.(The front right was the sweet spot for the bounce on my machine.)

4.Eat It: Pushing the cartridge as far back as able to plug the card and sometimes, sometimes hear the sound of the card scrape and scrunch into place.

5.Reboot: Holding in power as you turn it on and then tap tap on the reset buttontill you get the propper balance of reset and power that makes the game start.

"Woo! Kid Icarus themesong is playing! No..No the graphics are all messed up..."
[Choose 1-5]

Chestnuts roasted by Aconite @ 03/10/2004 01:00 PM EST

There's also the method of lightly blowing into the cartridge, trying to rid it of any dust.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeremiah @ 03/10/2004 01:24 PM EST

Blue filling oreos just sound wrong. I'd like to elaborate more but I am actually at college in class while I'm typing this.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 03/10/2004 02:01 PM EST

starwenn - There's still at least one HoJo's restaurant, in New York City, near Times Square. Dunno about any others, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Seth Christenfeld @ 03/10/2004 02:09 PM EST

There goes any last lingering shred of my heterosexuality.

Chestnuts roasted by Jen @ 03/10/2004 02:19 PM EST

I can't get the page to load so I don't get to see the videos *sniff sniff*

Chestnuts roasted by -Other Jen- @ 03/10/2004 02:33 PM EST

ok scratch that, links seem to have suddenly started working...there is a presence among us!

Chestnuts roasted by -Other Jen- @ 03/10/2004 02:37 PM EST

Those clips were...deeply disturbing (to put it mildly)

What the hell were they thinking? I'm watching this and thinking...well, gee, a hotel that doesn't listen to what you ask, pushes crap you don't want, and gives you lousy service to boot.

You sure those videos weren't put out by Holiday Inn maybe? :)

Chestnuts roasted by tcaptain @ 03/10/2004 02:56 PM EST

I agree with tcaptain. I guess these videos are for kids because kids loved seeing older people being annoyed. I highly doubt they expected any of that crap to fly with business clients that just wanted to get to the hotel, finish some reports, watch some Spanktra-Vision and go to sleep.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 03/10/2004 03:09 PM EST

Alien vs. Predator Merchandise
http://comingsoon.net/news.php?id=3845
Trailer
http://www.comingsoon.net/movies/a/alienvspredator.php

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 03/10/2004 03:25 PM EST

Hellboy Costumes
http://www.superherohype.com/hellboy/index.php?id=993

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 03/10/2004 03:27 PM EST

Oh man Matt. I've got a copy of Skip Roger's (WORLD...VIDEO GAME...CHAMPIOOOOOON) How To Score More Points Volume I, and you're missing out if you haven't watched it. I've never gotten a chance to see Volume II, but if the quality of Volume I and the laws of sequels are any indication, it's ripe for the reviewing. Baseball consultant?!?

Here's the Seanbaby review of the original video: http://www.seanbaby.com/nes/skip.htm

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 03/10/2004 03:31 PM EST

Kenan Thompson (of Saturday Night Live, All That and Kenan & Kel) will star as Fat Albert
http://filmforce.ign.com/articles/497/497615p1.html

It is a shame because when Forest Whitaker was set to direct he had found the perfect Fat Albert:
Omar Benson Miller
http://romanticmovies.about.com/library/weekly/aa032002e.htm
http://www.hbo.com/films/undefeated/img/castandcrew/
506x315_omarmiller.jpg
http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/
movie_pix/universal_pictures/8_mile/omar_benson_miller/
8milepre2.jpg

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 03/10/2004 03:54 PM EST

Get set for music and fun, and if you're not carful, you might learn something before we're done. So, let's get ready, ok? Hey, hey, hey!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/10/2004 04:10 PM EST

I used to play my friend's Game Gear (I was the Game Boy affectionado), and the only thing I liked about it at the time was the color screen. It had horrible game selection, and the batteries died way way to quickly.

Chestnuts roasted by eyeless @ 03/10/2004 04:14 PM EST

god the two games i actually owned for game gear were power rangers and nba jam. i swear i dont think anyone owned more thann two or three games for that thing

Chestnuts roasted by satas @ 03/10/2004 04:47 PM EST

The end is near, children. The Apocalypse draws nigh, heralded by the one who was foretold, the Harbinger of Doom himself. Yea, he shall herd us all as we go down in flames and meet our maker, to the tune of "She Bangs". And lo, fire hall rain from the sky and it shall be Hell on Earth, even as the Prophecy warned. Repent ye sinners! Repent and pray for thy Salvation, lest ye fall victim to the terrible siren's song.

http://entertainment.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=151939

You think I'm overreacting? Check the link my friends. Check the link.

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 03/10/2004 05:52 PM EST

Dammit. Fire hall = fire shall. Damned sticky school keyboard ruined my message of doom.

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 03/10/2004 05:53 PM EST

The Game Gear was kinda lame to me. the graphics were cool, but the batteries only lasted for a few hours. Maybe even a few minutes so you had to plug it into something to get a decent game time from it and that sorta killed the point.

Chestnuts roasted by The Dragonrider @ 03/10/2004 06:35 PM EST

The Video Now reminds me of the original Game Boy in that you don't mind the quality in exchange for the price. http://www.hasbro.com/videonow/

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 03/10/2004 06:57 PM EST

News from He-Man.org:
"We're sad to report that Masters is no longer at US mass retailers. It's definitely not due to Mattel's lack of interest, but because of lackluster sales that led to no support in Spring 2004.

The new line of Snake Men are currently being distributed through websites, magazines, and specialty retail stores. This will continue to be the case in the future for US sales.

The future of the cartoon will be determined at a later date. Ratings were average in the US. However the show continues to do extremely well internationally..."

"But what about this year's convention exclusive? A lot of fans will jump for joy!... SHE-RA HAS RETURNED! Check out this rough color mockup over the current Four Horsemen sculpt!"
http://www.he-man.org/news_images/shera/SheRa.jpg

Chestnuts roasted by She-Man @ 03/10/2004 07:49 PM EST

how did hojo charge people for the use of the systems? Did you have to rent them at the front desk for an hourly fee...or were they available in everyroom????

Chestnuts roasted by malfuriouspete @ 03/10/2004 08:49 PM EST

I had about 6-10 game gear games. I had all the Sonic games and I loved them. I loved the Top-Gun type game, I think it was named Afterburner. I beat this Ninja game over and over, possibly Shinobi, but if that's the name it wasn't like that Master System. I had a football game and a baseball game, but I don't remember the specifics. My favorite accessory was the Master System Converter that allowed me to play my Master System games. Of those, Action Fighter, Rambo, Shinobi, and Walter Payton's Football showed up the best. I went on a lot of trips and this thing, along with the car adapter, was a god send. Oh yeah, I had Game Boy too with about 30 games and Game Gear was much better.

Chestnuts roasted by RichFitztightly @ 03/10/2004 10:28 PM EST

Yeah, I had one of those videos, found it at a goodwill for 2 bucks. Ah, the good old days... HOooooo Joooooo

Chestnuts roasted by delafro @ 03/11/2004 12:04 AM EST

mmmm oreos. i used to love the sonic the hedgehog games! 1, 2, 3 and the one which connected to sonic 2 which let you play as knuckles. tails was my hero.

Chestnuts roasted by Rachel Cakes @ 03/11/2004 12:33 AM EST

If anyone cares, yes, HoJos are still around. There's one in Toms River, NJ. The bonus is it's right next to an IHOP. Best of both worlds...if your worlds are pretty sad and slightly pathetic.

Chestnuts roasted by Lackadaisical @ 03/11/2004 01:18 AM EST

Matt, long-time reader with a quick (and probably dumb) question:

The first link to a clip that I can see is clip02-fuckyou.wmv, where you ask us to meet the cast. I was wondering if there was maybe a clip01 of sorts? Stuff like this is damn-near untouchable in terms of entertainment value, simply because it's just so goddamn stupid it's funny. I've got this tape of a bunch of kids promoting various early-90s toys (Back to the Future NES game, some sort of flat Playmobile type figures complete with lots of "flat" puns, etc.) for Children's Palace. It's a hoot. So any more clips would be great (if not, I'll bet the tapes are floating around on some auction site).

Thanks for the laughs.

Chestnuts roasted by lavhoes @ 03/11/2004 03:25 AM EST

That maid was pretty freakin hot, I dont blame the Fat Guy for wanting to nail her.

Anyways, hey Matt you mentiond a Fearless Photog movie a while back....im still waiting...

Chestnuts roasted by Mega Gear @ 03/11/2004 09:19 AM EST

He-Man made his rep because of Syndication. Not to disparage cable, but having the new show on Cartoon Network and not at least drop a few eps on WB is just not keeping to the spirit of the old show.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/11/2004 11:41 AM EST

Oh you young whipper snappers with your high flautin game geared thingies and games boy and whatnot. Oh, back in my day we had Intellivison and we liked it! 4 colors, game button templates and that circular disk. A real mans gaming system, and it even spoke with that add on speech thing. Oh the days of b-17 bomber, space battle, and bomb squad. Memories.

Chestnuts roasted by Angryoldman @ 03/11/2004 11:56 AM EST

I remember when we didn't even have games! When we wanted to see wierd lights and hear odd sounds, we just banged our heads on a big rock! Sure, we were bloody and brain-damaged, but we liked it. "Whee! I can't remember my piano lessons, but I had a great vision! Hooray!"

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 03/11/2004 01:14 PM EST

I gues this is as good a time as any to say this.
I updated my page again :D
Anyone into some Space Quest?

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 03/11/2004 01:42 PM EST

Did anyone hear the news that WWE's Brock Lesnar is going quit wrestling at the end of Wrestlemania to pursue a career in the NFL. Do you guys think he has a chance?

Chestnuts roasted by J-Dog @ 03/11/2004 02:59 PM EST

...And so my Emulator obsession continues. So far I've scraped up one for an Apple //e, a C64 and NES, because of the mention of Back To The Future on here. The reason I downloaded the C64 was for the Short Circuit game, so why not get the emulator for my other favorites, the Back to the Future movies!

Chestnuts roasted by AngeFaitore @ 03/11/2004 05:11 PM EST

Brock Lesnar. what a piece of crap. He comes in, is instantly pushed to a position that guys like benoit, gurrero, flair, foley, and pretty much all great champions work years for. He's a millionaire because of wrestling, and now says the travel is to difficult ( he has his own jet by the way) and he's unhappy he's no longer champ. hundreds of guys toil on the indy scene for years just for a shot at wwe, much less become champion. If this dosn't turn out to be work, I say good riddance.

Chestnuts roasted by naturekid @ 03/11/2004 06:17 PM EST

Couldn't have said it any better myself, naturekid.

Chestnuts roasted by Rob @ 03/11/2004 11:12 PM EST

I had a game gear. You wanna know why? because YOU COULD WATCH TV ON IT. Did I? NO. I never got the attachable antenna. *sob*

PS - Hey Matt! the Canadians have osmething up here you might be interested in...Vachon's Jos Louis Vachon = Hostess.

Jos Louis are a taste of god. chocolate cakes with thick whipped cream inbetween and COVERED in milk chocolate. Tell me where to find your address on this site and I'll mail 6

Chestnuts roasted by Jackie Crow @ 03/12/2004 12:29 AM EST

am I the only one who noticed that they imprinted a Lady Bug on those Spring Oreos? A LADY BUG! I mean, I know that's kind of spring-ish, but do you really want to be eating a chocolate insect?

Insect candies should strictly be confined to gummy treats.

Chestnuts roasted by Chopstick Sensei @ 03/12/2004 12:42 AM EST

You could watch TV on a Game Gear? Huh.

Being Nintendo-biased in the 16-bit days, I never cared much for the system, though I loved playing Sonic Chaos on it whenever I went to my cousins'.

And I used to have a lot of N64 preview tapes. There was one for the initial launch of the system, covering Mario, Pilotwings, and Shadows of the Empire. It wasn't very cheesy at all, more about three hardcore gamers being invited to try the games out and making funny comments(i.e. While tossing Bowser, someone says, "Give him a toss, little man! He ain't nothing!")

Then there was the Star Fox 64 one. A Nintendo guy was kidnapped by guys in Sega and Sony t-shirts, and forced to squeeze out info about the game or else...THEY'D ELECTROCUTE A MARIO DOLL. So damn silly.

The Banjo video ruled, because it consisted entirely of game clips and nothing else, and got very in-depth. And yes, Jon Lovitz did narrate.

And then there was a really, really dumb Pokémon video about a bunch of live-action people claiming to be Ash's aunt or teacher or whatever, hyping the whole thing. Yeah.

The last one I think they made was the Jet Force Gemini/DK 64 tape. Good clips, annoying narrator. Had a preview of the satanic DK CGI cartoon as well.

Ubi Soft also sent me a tape as well, with previews of Rayman 2(Awesome), Tonic Trouble(bad), and Rocket(Never played it), along with a preview of the Rayman cartoon video that I'm still looking for on eBay. Entirely game clips, so very good.

I would've kept the tapes, but my dad threw 'em out. You would've liked them, Matt.:(

Chestnuts roasted by Behonkiss @ 03/12/2004 07:33 AM EST

Naturekid, I agree 100%. Brock's one spoiled m'fer. I don't think he'll be successful in the NFL and he will come crawling back to the WWE. Now if only HHH was the one who would quit the WWE. Now that's one F-Nut I really hate!

Chestnuts roasted by J-Dog @ 03/12/2004 10:10 AM EST

Matt, I love the animated GIF of Hotel Guy... He looks like he's in the three stages of taking a huge, refreshing dump in his pants. "Wait a minute... >squirt<... ahhhhhhh."

Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy @ 03/12/2004 12:08 PM EST

I remember this one portable Turbo-Grafx 16 game system where you could play actual TG16 games on it. That would've been a cool thing to get for Christmas when I was a kid.

Chestnuts roasted by mjf7583 @ 03/12/2004 12:10 PM EST

I think the ending was supposed to mean that anyone who plays Game Gear in that hotel turns into Hotel Guy.

Chestnuts roasted by Dan @ 03/12/2004 07:02 PM EST

Nintendo Power's "Star Fox 64" promo video is definetly a classic, featuring what could very well be the WORST acting of all time. I still watch it today, it's really good at cheering me up.

Chestnuts roasted by Sypha Nadon @ 03/12/2004 08:30 PM EST

For the guy asking about the Thundercats blooper video, here it is:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/thundercats.html

I also had two of those Nintendo Power videos. The N64 and Starfox 64 ones. Cheesy shit! If I still had 'em, I'd send 'em to you Matt. Actually, I'd rather someone sent you a tape of "Mac and Me" so we could finally get that review. Do you even have that tape?

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 03/12/2004 08:38 PM EST

Not to be pissy or anything, but why in fuck's name would he be expected to have it? Not only do you assume that "we" want a review in the first place, you expect somebody ELSE to send him a copy?!?! Why don't you just read this review and be done with it already? Cripes.

Chestnuts roasted by Nobody gives a fuck about Mac and Me, goddamnit! @ 03/12/2004 09:26 PM EST

JD Roth hosts a Survivor-like game show on Discovery Kids.

Anyways, I had the Pokemon video and possibly the Donkey Kong one (I remember a green box). I just remember wanting to go to Nintendo headquarters to play new games like they were doing in the video.

Chestnuts roasted by JG! @ 03/12/2004 10:19 PM EST

Discovery, eh? Is that the same one that used to be on Fox (or was it already ABC by then?) Family?

One of the "Spring Holiday eggs" (:P) brings up the old Saturday Supercade article. I miss that show. Just before Cartoon Network dropped anything not made by Warner Brothers, Hanna-Barbera, or their own studio (not counting the Toonami, Saturday, and Adult Swim block or previously aired on WB), they actually showed an old Space Ace segment from that show.

Marioshoku, I'm pretty sure Easter was set up to coincide with the Passover, since that is when he was killed, found Hell highly overrated, and left. :)

I played my cousin's Game Gear once, but the only reason I became a Nintendo guy was that Atari was practically nonexistant.

Finally, if I never hear about that Hung guy again, I'll be happy! Ricky Martin wants to die just so he can turn over in his grave!

Chestnuts roasted by ShadowWing the Technorganic Autobot @ 03/13/2004 09:24 PM EST

OK, I remember the name of the show. It's called "Endurance."

Chestnuts roasted by JG! @ 03/13/2004 11:49 PM EST

Not the same show then. This was Moolah Island or something. Never really watched it.

Chestnuts roasted by ShadowWing yadayada @ 03/14/2004 11:53 AM EST

I forgot about this:
Sega Genesis Nomad http://www.game-machines.com/consoles/seganomad.php

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 03/14/2004 04:29 PM EST

Man, those videos were TERRIBLE!!! If I had seen those as a kid, there's no freaking way I would have EVER picked up a Game Gear. That being said, my brother had one, and it was pretty cool, but the main thing that killed the Game Gear was the fact that they didn't have NEAR the game support that Game Boy had.....Of course, not every game made for the Game Boy was really worth playing, and the Game Gear did have a backlit screen, a TV adapter, and it was in color. Who the hell knows why it wasn't successful, maybe it's just the curse of Sega, because every time Sega would try to come out with a game system, they would eventually pull out of the running as if they're saying, "we don't care anymore about making good, quality game systems". When I heard that Sega was planning on releasing a Dreamcast 2 system, which would have been more powerful than the already kick ass Dreamcast, that pissed me off, because they just threw in the towel WAAAY to easily, without giving it any effort at all.

Chestnuts roasted by GraphicArtist2003 @ 03/16/2004 10:24 AM EST

dude, that hotel guy pool guy luch guy maid guy was my cousin! he actually works community thearte here

Chestnuts roasted by Billy @ 03/17/2004 01:33 PM EST

Billy, have him to e-mail Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 03/17/2004 04:28 PM EST

I'm not going to read all these comments to see if someone already said it...

Getting a Game Gear in your HoJo room was free if you were under 12, and a small fee if you were over 12. Yep. The voice of experience speaks.

Chestnuts roasted by kitty @ 03/18/2004 12:29 AM EST

GEEKS

Chestnuts roasted by JOCK @ 03/21/2004 07:28 AM EST

Did you notice that recently, Dr. Eggman (or Robotnik for all you purists) is creating a bunch of robots called the "E-Series"? There's robots like Sonic Adventure's E-102 Gamma, Sonic Heroes's E-123 Omega, and Sonic Battle's E-121 Phi. The show, Sonic X, greatly expanded the family with the likes of E-91 Ku-no-i-chi (a ninja robot), E-35 Funfun (a robot with a fan on its stomach), E-65 Gorru-Gaooh (a gorilla robot), E-21 Ballios (a robot capable of playing baseball), E-74 Weazo (a fire-beathing praying mantis robot), and others.

Chestnuts roasted by NES Boy @ 04/07/2004 08:26 AM EST

I actually had a Game Gear and a few games (Sonic 2, Sonic Chaos, Sonic Triple Trouble, Dynamite Headdy and some baseball one). I still have my GG, but I can't find two of the games (TT and the baseball one). I also had the 32x, Saturn, and Sega CD. O_o

Also, there are still HoJo's on Long Island. One in Commack, one in Westbury.

Chestnuts roasted by Adam @ 04/08/2004 03:49 PM EST

That HoJos/Game Gear article was the funniest damn thing i've ever read. I laughed so hard I fell outta my chair, and its a damn big chair.
anyone know where I could find tapes like this, like ebay or something?

Oh Yeah. I stayed at a HoJos, like, five years ago, and it was most defenitely one of the most depressing places i've ever visited. avoid if you can.

Chestnuts roasted by haysoos @ 06/04/2004 02:11 AM EST