02/14/2004 Entry: "X-E's Valentine's Day Special!"

Hey look, there's only about an hour left before Valentine's Day is over. Seems like the perfect time to publish X-E's Valentine's Day Special, a two-page look back at V-Day card sets of years past. You'll see Super Mario, Zelda, the California Raisins and even the Ninja Turtles. You'll see them a whole lot, actually. Happy Valentine's Day, go be lovey dovey with someone.

Chestnuts roasted by allicat @ 02/14/2004 11:36 PM EST

So, why is the archive still down?

Chestnuts roasted by Hugh Jeego @ 02/14/2004 11:43 PM EST

I remember the Mario 3 cards. I think I gave some out. I don't recall the other three, but they do remind me of a simpler time. I doubt some of the the things on the cards could be gotten away with today, such as the Bebop and Rocksteady card...

By the way, the Zelda card that you say has nothing to do with Zelda: The image on the card is of a peice of heart or heart container. That's what connects it to the game.

-------

I also remember elementary school valentines, when everyone gave everybody a card. But what I remember the most is that everybody got to make their own "Mailbox" for the cards. I had a whole lot more fun making the mailbox than actually getting the cards.

Oh yes, and I am addicted to Necco conversation Hearts. Buy them in 8 packs to store for later...

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 02/14/2004 11:44 PM EST

Could I possibly be the only person who circumvented the distributing of these mass-produced valentines entirely? Passing out cards to everyone was an obligitory activity we did at school from my first through fourth grade years (1991-95). While others inevitably passed out their cards of Ninja Turtle/Nintendo Super Mario et al designs, occasionally sporting slots or compartments for lolipops or 3 Musketeers bars, I decided to be efficient and took it upon myself to devise a homemade solution. I always took two dozen index cards and labeled each one with a student's name (boys and girls, never gave it a second thought) and "I (picture of heart) You," all written in sloppy marker. What can I say, it seemed to do the job. Although it sounds strange when I think back about it.

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew T. @ 02/14/2004 11:50 PM EST

I don't remember many of my experiences in elementary school with this... I do remember handing out Magic Eye valentines, which ended up being very popular with the kids in my class. I still have an unused one taped inside an old sketchbook.

Chestnuts roasted by 9volt @ 02/14/2004 11:50 PM EST

My parents were so cheap and made me make my own valentines day card. When My sister came home from school with her bag of valentines, I found one valentine of the new TMNT cards. Unfortunately it was from the nerdiest kid in her class. I feel bad cause I thought TMNT was cool, and I watch it!

Chestnuts roasted by Ryan @ 02/15/2004 12:17 AM EST

That was awesome. Where did you get those from?

Chestnuts roasted by A-Train @ 02/15/2004 12:24 AM EST

I've been coming to XE for a long time (Since long before the 24HR ad page), and always have enjoyed myself at the expense of Matt's bandwidth.

I liked the Valentine's Day feature as I bought a box of Pooh valentines to distribute throughout my workplace, just as a lark, this year.

Then I come to XE tonight and am reminded of all my own Feb 14thz by Matt.

Bravo to you for your creativity and boldness Matt. Long live cheap greeting cards, death to Man-at-Arms jokes, and most of all glory to those of you kindly enough to bring us Night Court references.

Long time Viewer, First time Blogger.

N8

Chestnuts roasted by ViolentN8 @ 02/15/2004 12:27 AM EST

15! Woohoo!

Chestnuts roasted by jason1551 @ 02/15/2004 12:32 AM EST

So my best friend n' I have our girlfriends outta town. His is at her dad's, mine's at her mom's. We spent the day at his house playing video games, watching Daily Show clips, and playing Mario 3. Sure enough, Mario 3 V-cards. I handed those bastards out like nobody's bidness. I remember seeing some classic Masters Of The Universe V-cards back in the day. I'd love to see Skeletor say "Let's rule the universe together! Be my Valentine!" Oh yeah.

Chestnuts roasted by Armagideon Time @ 02/15/2004 01:13 AM EST

Awww.. I'm felling all warm n' fuzzy :P

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 02/15/2004 01:44 AM EST

I remember the TMNT cards. I believe I gave them out in the first grade, and, I can't tell you why I remember this, but I recall I gave the "Michaelangelo with wings" card to the girl I 'liked' the 'most'. Oh yeah, I was pimpin' it TMNT style.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy @ 02/15/2004 02:21 AM EST

Wow, that actually did brighten my mood. Kudos for that. Back in the day, I loved Valentine's Day. We always had class parties. Class parties equaled lots of candy. Not just any candy, Valentine's candy. I have to admit, I'm a fan of the candy hearts. I *heart* the candy hearts.

Chestnuts roasted by Andrea @ 02/15/2004 02:23 AM EST

Those TMNT cards brought up a Random TMNT flashback for me as well, my mom knew I liked the turtles and responded by getting me any TMNT figure for my birthday or whatever, as long as it said TMNT then I got it.
I totally remember owning a duck, Ace Duck or something. Raphael in an unexplained space suit, and of course Mondo Gecko, Baxter Stockman, the frog guy, and the Rat King. I also vaguely remember breaking Bebop's arm off, God Bless my mom for getting me every TMNT figure, and god bless X-E for allowing me to suddenly remember it for no reason.

Chestnuts roasted by Brrent @ 02/15/2004 02:29 AM EST

i'd be pretty pissed off if i recieved one of those raisen cards, they are wierd. or as we call them, "sultanas".

Chestnuts roasted by Rachel Cakes @ 02/15/2004 02:33 AM EST

Kewl, I was just thinking about this today. I was thinking back to past Valentines days, and how I had to get mushy cards for everyone in my class. So, as long as I had to, I might as well get ones with cool cartoon characters on them. I wondered if there had been any Mario valentines day cards, since if there had been they would've totally been what I got, and I concluded that if there were any, they would probably be Super Mario Bros. 3 cards, since Mario seemed to reach this peak of popularity at that point, and then I read this article, and I was right!

Chestnuts roasted by Lone_Psycho @ 02/15/2004 02:35 AM EST

hi im frank i like this site

Chestnuts roasted by frank @ 02/15/2004 02:53 AM EST

In preschool, I had Who Framed Roger Rabbit valentines and I gave the girl I liked the one with Roger begging his wife for sex (Yes my memory sucks, what of it?).
I also remember my Marvel Comics valentines in fourth grade, and I refused to give ANYONE the one with Magneto saying: "I'm attracted to you valentine!".
Last three thoughts...
1.I saw Nintendo valentines today, didn't feel like buying 'em cuz they probably sucked (probably just stock art with no words).
2. My friend claims to have seen a Yu-Gi-Oh valentine that reads "You're my best monster!"
3. Conversation hearts still taste like crap, they better at least take well to my red marker of profanity...

Chestnuts roasted by RewolfJ @ 02/15/2004 03:00 AM EST

Hey Matt, I just found some neo-Ecto Cooler at the supermarket. I noticed that it expired in about 6 months. I was wondering when all the cases you ordered expired?

Chestnuts roasted by mindsuckr @ 02/15/2004 03:08 AM EST

hehe i saw captain lou albano on saturday night live tonight. (for those who don't know he is the guy who played mario on the super mario bros super show!) There was a quick reference and clip of him. Just thought it was funny seeing him on tv after all these years without mario super show. >:O

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 02/15/2004 03:11 AM EST

I give out Valentines every year. This year it was TMNT and Disney Princess Valentines. Last year was Superman and Batman. I think the year before was the Crocodile Hunter and the year before that was Dragon Ball Z. That is as far back as I can remember. I did see the Yu-Gi-Oh! ones but I was pretty sure none of my friends would understand those. I can't tell you how many 20something year old guys I know were waaaay too excited about Ninja Turtle Valentines.

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 02/15/2004 04:31 AM EST

Good stuff! I used to have an unopened box of those old TMNT valentines around here, but one year while I was away at school my mother opened it up and gave 'em all away. Which is too bad, because I'm thinking I could've used them for graphics or something. Well, at least I have other valentines...

And I remember keeping one of the Splinter/April valentines under my pillow at night. Dunno what you mean by her bloated face -- I always thought it was a pretty cute drawing. :) Even Splinter looked better than usual.

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 02/15/2004 06:22 AM EST

was anyone else concerned about the look on BeBop and Rocksteady's faces...and the fact we could only see 1 hand??? was that just me?

Chestnuts roasted by NatE @ 02/15/2004 08:03 AM EST

we never did that in england.

what did the hidden card say?
very funny article. maTT is back on form again. hurrah.

Chestnuts roasted by 'tin man jim'll @ 02/15/2004 11:32 AM EST

I remember giving out those Super Mario Brothers cards to this guy I had a crush on, I gave him the special raccoon card and he promptly returned it to me. Really hurt my feelings.
Last year at University (all girls college) I gave out LOTR cards, everyone fought over Legolas. Heh, I felt kinda dumb buying valentines when I was 22, but who cares? Most of the girls didn't have their boyfriend there, so why not?

Chestnuts roasted by Sorsh @ 02/15/2004 11:33 AM EST

Brutus Beefcake In Rehab For Drug Addiction (After Causing An Anthrax Scare!)
http://www.wrestling-news.com/artman/publish/article_2047.shtml

My mother and niece were walking by as the cops investigated this strange situation.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 02/15/2004 11:42 AM EST

Wow, Link was on Valentine's Day cards even before chicks thought he was a sexy bitch.

Chestnuts roasted by Teirusu @ 02/15/2004 12:01 PM EST

funny funny funny

Chestnuts roasted by htdmhtd @ 02/15/2004 12:33 PM EST

Does anyone know what was on the covered-up card? The world needs to know!

But of course that Bebop-Rocksteady card was classic. Definitely something goin' on with those two. I dunno about other buff villains, but I wouldn't doubt it, seeing as how little women they get to be around.

Oh, and to someone else, April's "bloated" face could mean that she's "got one in the oven". Does anyone think Splinter's the dad? Nah. Or it could explain the rather stern expression on her face and Splinter's kinda embarrassed one.

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew @ 02/15/2004 01:21 PM EST

Oi....Valentine's. I remember never gettting anything big and flashy and showing in school. I always passed out fucked up handmade cards. Nothing like Valentine's that mention genital herpes and a wood chipper. This year I opted for Hello Kitty cards at the Dollar Store. Goddamn time restraints.
^v^

Chestnuts roasted by Mistress Batty @ 02/15/2004 01:29 PM EST

I can't believe I have my second flu in three weeks on Valentine's Day, also known as the day when everyone's girlfriend is obliged to give up a little nookie. And I'm sick! Bleh. Fuck fucking germs and cold weather.

But I did get Courtney Love's new album for V-Day, so that's cool.

> Passing out cards to everyone was an obligitory activity we did at school from my first
> through fourth grade years (1991-95).

Those are the years I was in high school. Man, now I feel sick and old.

Rocksteady and BeBop, hunh? Yeah, I always suspected.

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 02/15/2004 01:36 PM EST

woah i rember the turtles and mario cards... mmm

you know nintendo made the love tester too? that thing you put your hand on and stuff

i think they still make them

Chestnuts roasted by colin eff @ 02/15/2004 02:14 PM EST

I'm guilty as charged to have given out all 4 sets of those Valentine's cards.

P.S. That's Lemmy, not Iggy. Note the ball he's standing on. Innocent mix-up, since those two look a lot alike & are both named after aging rock stars.

Chestnuts roasted by Fireball @ 02/15/2004 03:20 PM EST

Man, I remember these damn cards. Especially the Mario ones. I'm surprised it wasn't mentioned that both the Mario cards and the Zelda cards, all the pictures used for the cards were characatures taken directly from the manuals for each. I remember the picture of Mario being accosted by the tiny winged goombas specifically, because in the game you had to jump to throw them off of you.
Nintendo, you magnificent bastard.

Chestnuts roasted by Maikeru @ 02/15/2004 03:39 PM EST

did anyone else notice that Michaelangelo's tongue is sticking out in the card with the Rat King? and if so, did you question why it was sticking out?

Chestnuts roasted by macks @ 02/15/2004 04:21 PM EST

Haha I love those valentines day cards! I wish I had kept some of the ones that I got while I was in school. Anyways I hate valentines day and I didn't hear from my guy so I'm glad it's over. Hope you had an awesome valentines day though! Thanks for the articles!!

Chestnuts roasted by Crissy @ 02/15/2004 04:38 PM EST

I had to spend my actual V Day helping someone move, so I wasn't in much of a warm fuzzy mood until I read the article. I gave out the turtle cards on at least two occasions, and I don't ever remember being remotely fazed by "You have a pizza my heart!"
I do wish I'd read it earlier, because I would have printed and given the hell out of these valentines.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 02/15/2004 04:56 PM EST

Since nobody else said it, I gotta. That's not Luigi in the frogsuit picture, its Mario. You can tell from the 'stache.

Incidently, I just got Mario & Luigi: Superstar Sage for GBA. You're not gonna believe this, but one of M & L's stats is "Stache". Yes, the quality of their facial hair plays into battle. I shit you not!

Geez, there sure are a lot of girls that frequent this site. Any of ya'll single? >8^D

Matt, you can make up for your Mario/Luigi confusion by reviewing "Mac and Me"

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 02/15/2004 05:48 PM EST

I remember giving out those same Zelda cards in the first grade. Good times, good times. I remember my mother always hating the rule about having to give each & every kid in the class a card because it meant my wrist would get tired (Up until around grade 3) and she'd end up filling 3/4 of them out- My poor mommy. I should call- Thanks for reminding me!

Chestnuts roasted by Raewyn @ 02/15/2004 06:25 PM EST

As the biggest Nintendo nerd on the planet I approve of the Mario and Zelda cards. Ninja Turtles cards rock too. On the other hand the California Rasins cards are uber lame.

Chestnuts roasted by Meatwad @ 02/15/2004 07:19 PM EST

I always dreaded Valentine's day when I was in elementary school, after that I never gave it much of a thought until I got a girlfriend. In elementary school we were basically forced to give people in our class valentine cards and junk, even though none of us really wanted to. I remember girls writing words like "psyche" on top of their cards, and the boys not being much nicer in their sentiments. Now days it seems I wait till the last minute to get my girl anything, I've always been that way though... birthdays, christmas, whatever the case, I'm the one that waits till the last minute to buy a darn thing. I need to stop that, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. Whenever I'd have a girlfriend in middle school, or even high school I would never get a girl anything, because I always had the attitude that we'd probably break up anyway so I wasn't going to blow my hard earned grass-mowing money, and then later on in high school, Wal-Mart paycheck on a chick. My attitude has changed somewhat, but now whenever I think of St. Valentine's Day I think of Al Capone.

Chestnuts roasted by Justus Cade @ 02/15/2004 07:32 PM EST

I still have two boxes of the California Raisins Valentines. I gave the "I'm riding high for you" one to my roommate this year. Oh sweet irony.

I used to save all my valentines from elementary school in a little drawar and then my moms went and tossed 'em. Bye childhood.

BTW, I'd pay top dollar for those Mario 3 ones.

Chestnuts roasted by JessieSpano @ 02/15/2004 07:58 PM EST

Its sad when you actually gave out those as a child

Chestnuts roasted by Findlay @ 02/15/2004 08:01 PM EST

That Article was Brilliant. Fucking Brilliant. Is it sad they I remember giving out the Ninja Turtle Valentines?

That Chia Plot thing better be over with in two weeks. If I see another to be countinued I might be prompted to throw my computer out the window.

Great Work as always Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Ally @ 02/15/2004 08:12 PM EST

Here's what you've influanced Matt..
While we all wait for your next earth-shaking article..

http://cyanyde.kicks-ass.net/marspage1.html

;)

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 02/15/2004 09:15 PM EST

HAPPY LOVE DAY!!!!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Allie @ 02/15/2004 09:52 PM EST

hi im steve i like this site

During the day on Vday I spent the afternoon with my special girl. (my project car) Did some bodywork and cleaned it out really well, and put the seats back in. She's coming together real nice now.

I spent my evening West Virginia University style- with alcohol in my hand. Me and my single friends went to the Hibachi (Japanese restaurant) and chugged down a few Sapporos while waiting for our food, then sat back and drank more Sapporo and some sake as the chef threw shrimp all over the room. Then we drank more sake during dinner, and afterwards went home and drank more beer.

After we were good and trashed we ran up to the closed-down bar up the street and took their sign. Pics of that are on my website link. I sent it in to collegehumor.com today.

As for the article... I remember giving out those Zelda valentines in 4th grade. We also had to give valentines out to everyone in the class. I thought it'd be kinda gay to give those heart cards to the other boys, so I made sure that only the girls got them.

Now I'm sitting back drinking more beer and eating discounted candy. Damn I need to find myself a girl.

Chestnuts roasted by Xtacy @ 02/15/2004 09:59 PM EST

I didn't do much for Valentine's Day this year, just cleaned the apartment and worked, but when I was a kid, I loved it. We got to run around, eat candy, watch movies, and not do math. Valentine's was one of the only holidays I was happy we were in school for.

The rule with the valentines when I was a kid was you had to give them to everyone, whether you liked them or not. That didn't mean you didn't give a special card to someone you had a crush on, though. And the big card was always reserved for the teacher. After all, they had the biggest job, and there would be less in-fighting among the students.

I don't remember the valentines I gave or got now. I know I gave Care Bears valentines at least two years, and Mom made them another year. I don't remember seeing any of the valentines covered in the article, though I must have, since I was in the latter part of elementary school (4th-5th grade) when they were released. The Mario ones were the best by far - I thought the one with Mario in the frog suit was awesome.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 02/15/2004 10:01 PM EST

My sister was really excited because she wanted to give the oldest, most ridiculous Valentine's cards she could find out to her friends. So last year (2003) she managed to find Quest for Camelot valentines and Johnny Quest valentines. What was really sad was that when a little boy in the store saw how excited she was to find those valentines, he picked up the exact same two sets to give to his classmates.

Chestnuts roasted by Darth Monkey @ 02/15/2004 10:29 PM EST

I am just wondering, since you reviewed the Garfield Hallowe'en Special recently, could you ever do a review of "Garfield's Babes and Bullets", one of the funniest Film Noir parodies I've ever seen

thanks a bunch

Brian A. Henegar

Chestnuts roasted by Brian Henegar @ 02/15/2004 10:46 PM EST

Valentine's cards are really popular here, not even with the little kids but anyways hope yours was real sweet.

Chestnuts roasted by Rebekah @ 02/15/2004 11:24 PM EST

A-wel Cruiz- while some of our esteemed female posters probably are single, I'd imagine there's probably a fairly sizable line of guys waiting to date them. Plus, most of 'em are only attracted to scruffy Matt anyway... *wink*

And Molten, sorry to hear about the flu bug. If it's any consolation, a massive migraine on the gf's part limited the nookie to only once last night. Got to make up for it a bit tonight, but still... I feel your pain, my friend.

"Aw, shot down on Valentine's Day... that's supposed to be a gimme!"
~Homer Simpson

"But I was gonna get some!"
"No you weren't."
~Homer and Marge

Chestnuts roasted by The Lucky One @ 02/16/2004 01:24 AM EST

I put out the greatest effort of anyone in my state--maybe the country. Sure, I would buy the cheap packs but then I dressed them up. I actually took the time to make a special comic/joke insert for each person in the class. Yes, I did.
I remember a few of them...one kid got a "Wheel of Fortune" parody where the contestant solved the puzzle by accident when he yelled, "WHO THOUGHT UP THIS LOUSY GAME, AN ENEMY?" "And ANENOME is right! YOU WIN!!!" "Oh. Well, all right!"
There was one I gave to a girl named Mashayla that was called "What Rhymes With Mashayla???" and it featured a committee determined to figure out the answer to that. Finally some guy just said, "How about 'Crayolela'?" Another said, "No, that sounds like a Mexican crayon dancing around a sombrero or something."
Some didn't get comics...one guy got a drawing of a small body, and the instructions were to stick it under a poster of some basketball player's head. He told me he did just that...must have looked interesting.
Then another kid got a rolled-up scroll. When he opened the scroll this long message said, "Heretofore we are joined in this classroom by the party of the first part, and the party of the second part, and the party of the third part, and the party of the first part will challenge the party of the second part to a duel, and the party of the third part will watch the fight..." it went on like that with make-believe mumbo-jumbo until the end, where it said "Translation: Hello."
I sealed them all up, drew "APPROVED BY THE AMERICAN DENTAL ASSOCIATION" on each one, and the next morning stomped into class with a custom-made box that said in large letters, "PETER'S VALENTINES!!!!!"

I still wasn't that popular.

Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 02/16/2004 02:34 AM EST

I still have a box of Star Wars Valentines that I never gave out.

This year is the first time since I was 15 that I did not have a girlfriend, so I decided to buy myself a present. A 21" monitor. It is supposed to arrive today!!
After work I am going to speed home to set up my new baby. Yee hee!

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 02/16/2004 08:35 AM EST

Just wanted to say this is one of the best articles I've read in a while (not that all of them aren't great).

Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 02/16/2004 09:13 AM EST

I was hoping you'd do an article like this. I recently saw a sale of themed V-Day cards at a dollar store, unfortunately, none of them as great as those one you had....

Chestnuts roasted by Icymatt @ 02/16/2004 09:26 AM EST

I was hoping you'd do an article like this. I recently saw a sale of themed V-Day cards at a dollar store, unfortunately, none of them as great as those one you had....

Chestnuts roasted by Icymatt @ 02/16/2004 09:26 AM EST

Valentines day in school has always sucked for me. Those "Teacher Cards" that are really just clipping out the leftover cardboard of the box the cards came in, always seemed to end up in my decorated shoebox.
The worst such incident involving the unfair valentine card trade was when instead of cards I got my parents to spring for 2 bags of those 30-NERDS box rock candies. 2 whole large sized bags of those sweet-tangy of schoolyard candy gold. Everyone would have been able to get at least 2 of the tiny boxes a faux mailbox... Deciding to make this a little suprise before school ended, I waited till after the card trade, smiling as others would have given the off hershey kiss with smushed foil, and the plethora of regular cards, while I had THE ace.
Then I watched, and noticed that my mailbox was getting a large number of single sided, one-sheet cards in it's crepe paper slot...
The gawdamn Teacher Cards!
Sumbitches!
Well, we were allowed to open and peruse the goodies we had gotten, and thats when I saw only 2 regular "Good" cards(One being a Masters of the universe-Teela *drool*), and one of those rather tasty red lollypops shaped as a heart.(Not even a friggin smushed foil kiss. Tina Harmnes, you skank!) Well, I took note of the un-cheap bastards that did in fact Luv me. Then as secretive as able gave each about 5 boxes of nerds each.(Those counting may realize that left me with a heck of a lot of nerds, but thay were mine... mine!)
To end...
"The love you take is equal to the love you make."
Damn straight.(Nerdbox whistle)

Chestnuts roasted by Aconite @ 02/16/2004 09:38 AM EST

Dear matt,
Knowing that you have had an admiration for zelda over the years what advice could you give to someone who knows a 18 year old highschool senior that squeals like a 12 year old for a backstreet boy when ever she sees link. This person is my g/f's sister. She spends her time playing zelda games, drawing link and talking about how "hot" he is. Oh and she is making a comic book about someone who is exactly like link "but isn't link" for some unknown reason

Chestnuts roasted by Thejyav @ 02/16/2004 11:51 AM EST

never did like that Link very much. Now I know why. Teh Links takin mah wimmin.
Great article.

Chestnuts roasted by iivuli @ 02/16/2004 12:08 PM EST

Hey, Matt, you shouldn't leave things around like this:

http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0688/

Well, if you don't want that article, can I have it? Finders Keepers!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 02/16/2004 12:09 PM EST

That Rocksteady and Bebop love card has me scared...

Chestnuts roasted by Thnikkaman @ 02/16/2004 12:13 PM EST

heh. I ain't gonna say much because I'm feelin' really old right now. Not because I barely remember my V-parties, but because we never gave out cool cards like that when I was in elementary. So, I will give out pretend cards to a cuple of you guys. To Gabby: a picture of Crow T. Robot holding a Care Bear, a bear with a thong bikini on its' belly and the message "Floss Daily, Valentine!" To Molten: a photo of flu germs arranged in a heart shape, and a copy of "The Wall" to listen to when in the throes of a high fever, (I don't do drugs, but I was listening to it when I was badly sick once and it was as fun as I heard it was) and a hot wheels track to spank your companion. To heeloyd: a trading card of King Kong Bundy like Little Brother had where the photo was snapped in the middle of a fall and he looks like he is floating about six inches above the mat. and to Matt: a video clip from SNL where Dennis Miller wished everyone a Happy Valentines Day while a video of open heart surgery was playing in the background.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/16/2004 12:40 PM EST

Thanks king ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 02/16/2004 02:00 PM EST

That was awesome! I remember in 4th grade, a kid named Kevin A'dair getting really mad at me because I gave everyone in the class a looney toons valentine but him. I didn't like him too much and so Kevin got nothin! At the time I know we all called other kids "gay" but I never really knew that Kevin was. Wierd... let's not look into that too much, ok?

My favorite Valentine's tradition was the Candy hearts... all sugary and stuff. Around 5th or 6th grade (well too old to be doing this) I got a package of the extra large ones, and discovered that with my pen-cap I could scratch off the candy messages ("i luv u", or "u r sweet") and write my own. Mine included stuff like:

Shit head
Dont sit me
loser
u r fat
u r dumb
u r stupid
big ass
nice boobs

And more stuff like that. I don't know why I was so cruel, but its nice to know that all these years later, I am only moderately successful in my chosen profession, while most of the other kids are making much more money than me. See how fate has evened things up all these years later?

Chestnuts roasted by The Return of Long Duck Dong @ 02/16/2004 02:01 PM EST

Dude, you're waking repressed memories here, baby. As a shy and awkward kid, Valentine's was never my favorite holiday. I would rather have done school work than those Valentines. Of course, everyone was technically supposed to receive a Valentine from everyone else in the class, but I'll be damned if I didn't feel like Ralph Wiggum once a year.

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 02/16/2004 02:17 PM EST

i got really sick the day of my 3rd grade v-day party and i threw up in my foil-n-candy heart valenbox. sucked because there were valentines and candy in there.

Chestnuts roasted by valarie @ 02/16/2004 02:36 PM EST

Thnickaman? Good to see some other h*r fans on here!

Chestnuts roasted by B-Dawg @ 02/16/2004 02:51 PM EST

There goes the Thnikkaman!!!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/16/2004 03:54 PM EST

Awesome, kingklash: I'm the one person in the world who has absolutely no reaction to the weed, but I think this flu/fever might be enough to make me "understand" all the Pink Floyd my geetar-playing friend listens to.

Wes, I have to add another voice of appreciation for the Maury-opposites-couples page. That is some freaky fucking shit. I think that I'm going to print off a few of those screen-caps to hang somewhere for those days when I don't feel like getting up and going to the gym. Yikes! =O Also, why did they change Buckskin Bill? I thought that his girlfriend loved the fabulous beard tickling her? He went from Michigan Militia to Bad Guy From the Matrix.

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 02/16/2004 04:29 PM EST

Maybe all the bad guys in the Matrix should look like Michigan Militia. Nothing like Maury to make us hopelessly single folk feel better. They have this theme about once a month, so I have seen worse. Ohhhh, yes, I have seen worse.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/16/2004 04:51 PM EST

Has anyone else noticed that Raphael and Leonardo are threatening the readers with their weapons? Kind of gives kids the wrong message...

Chestnuts roasted by Anty Eat World @ 02/16/2004 06:59 PM EST

I remember the Nintendo Valentines. I think I sent a few out and got some. Does anyone remember Ducktales Valentines? Those I got too and they were cool since they had the Disney ducks and the Beagle boys on them.

Chestnuts roasted by Bert Raccoon @ 02/16/2004 07:49 PM EST

I remember one year (fifth grade,I think) I gave out G.I. Joe Valentines where you constructed your own scenes. It got so boring after a while,I put like two of the same character on the same card. I wonder what the person I gave it to thought.

Sometime back,I remember seeing at a local dollar store valentines for Stargate and the Lost in Space movie. I wonder what those would've been like,and I almost feel sorry for kids who have to buy their Valentines at a dollar store,especially when the selection is limited to licensed properites they're not into.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 02/16/2004 10:03 PM EST

Gabby, Molten, et al. -- Thanks! (Next time, e-mail me with kind words and praises. I like e-mails. :))

Matt -- Sorry guy; didn't mean to hijack your blog -- didn't think a harmless plug in quiet times would do too much damage. As Jitsu say, "Many pardons, evil masters. ... I am undone."

I still don't think April's face was bloated. ;P

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 02/16/2004 10:11 PM EST

I think we're all ignoring the major issue at hand here, actually- with Matt on a trip for the next few days, what's the hierarchy? Who's the official Prince Regent of X-E until His Nostalgiasty returns? Because God forbid things degenerate into chaos around here... I can't even imagine it. No, someone must step up, preferably someone capable of quelling unrest through unyielding force and ruling the discontent rabble with an iron fist. So a Republican, obviously... but who? Killer Duck? Molten? Wes? Don't be afraid, somebody step up and establish command through a bloody coup.

Or, y'know, just first one to post. Whatever.

-D, who wouldn't dare try for the top spot (length of time coming here not being equal to volume of posts, obviously), but would serve as Public Executioner/Head Lackey if asked politely...

Chestnuts roasted by The Lucky One @ 02/16/2004 11:22 PM EST

I'm around in spirit. :) Actually at Toy Fair, on limited net access till Weds.

The toys at this year's Fair, by the way, were INCREDIBLE. Seriously. I'm not sure if anyone's been keeping tabs, but between Hasbro and NECA's stuff alone, you're set for a great 2004.

I'm part of the UGO group covering it, you'll start seeing some of our stuff up tomorrow. Today was spent developing dozens of videos of the Fair -- really good ones, too.

Two words, though. "Omega Supreme."

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 02/16/2004 11:27 PM EST

Edit: I'll try to post some pics later tonight. Prepare to salivate.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 02/16/2004 11:28 PM EST

Spit bucket ready to go. And hey, any chance of swiping one of those new Alternators? C'mon, they can't be THAT closely guarded...

(Hey, worst case scenario, I'm sure between all the posters we could scrape together enough bail money...)

Chestnuts roasted by The Lucky One @ 02/16/2004 11:44 PM EST

Oh man, you wouldn't believe how tight the security is. A lot of people seem to think Toy Fair is for toys what E3 is for games -- a huge party -- but it's nothing like that, really. It's actually pretty mundane, businessy, etc. If you're not in the biz, you'd be really bored if you weren't a major toy enthusiast.

But yeah, if I could've stolen anything, it probably woulda been the new TFs. Some of them are just incredible.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 02/16/2004 11:47 PM EST

Oh crap, It appears that I have touched cloth, oh I need a new set of coverings. Oh Cockfoster, bring me some brandy and a fresh pair of undergarments.

Thanks

Chestnuts roasted by Lord Falthinghworh @ 02/17/2004 12:21 AM EST

haha i remember these valentines rember the old wwf ones? those were great ! i rember that pet monster movie to that was a great movie i use to rent it all the time when i was kid wish theyd put that on dvd hahah L-EIGHTR

Chestnuts roasted by Travis @ 02/17/2004 01:31 AM EST

hey molten fuck courtney love thAT MURDER!

Chestnuts roasted by KURT COBAIN @ 02/17/2004 01:35 AM EST

Lucky, I don't think I'd try to take over. I mean that would be waaaaaaaaaay more work than dropping random comments here on the blog. I really don't think I have what it takes to put down all the nerd girl uprisings that will happen when I lock their hero in a closet. Oh, and no one should take the nerd girl comments personally because I read sci-fi and play Magic cards, and I'm popping my D&D cherry probably sometime in April, so I'm entitled to make all the nerd comments I want.

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 02/17/2004 03:12 AM EST

*drools at teh nerd girls*

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 02/17/2004 04:23 AM EST

Lucky, Gabby, et al. -- I wasn't trying to make a bid for any control or anything like that, just a quiet plug. And I certainly don't want to steal Matt's readers or hijack his blog, not that I could if I wanted to. Seriously, X-E's been a great inspiration to me (as far as SC goes, I mean; not necessarily in a spiritual, life-affirming way ;)), and I'm certainly not trying to offend Matt or rip him off in any way -- but I do think that maybe some of them would like SC too (and a lot of the referrals are from the comments X-E sections), so I mention it from time to time. I didn't think it was a big deal, but then I noticed that a few prior posts have vanished...

Gabby, spec. -- You'll have to let us know how the D&D thing goes. I once had the "pleasure" of spending several hours in the AM at Denny's with a group of D&D enthusiasts...and believe me when I tell you that you cannot comprehend my suffering. And I attended a Vampire: The Masquerade LARP session once...can you say, "Ugh?" x_x;

Matt -- Glad to hear that you're enjoying the Toy Fair (even without the partydom). Again, I meant no offense, and look forward to seeing your pics from the trip. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 02/17/2004 05:32 AM EST

I don't quite get D&D, but I like to read the in-house magazines from time to time, I really dig Nodwick. Despite having the Imagination From Another Planet, RPGs have waaay too much math for me. Side note to Lord Falthingworth, in France they wear no underpants.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/17/2004 11:38 AM EST

My V-day wasn't as horrible as I planned. In fact turned out rather well.

And valeries post made me die laughing

Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken @ 02/17/2004 12:02 PM EST

I remember the TMNT cards, I know I gave them away in prolly 1st or 2nd grade. Why is Link carrying his sword in his right hand, when in the other games (windwaker, majora's mask and ocarina of time at least) he's left-handed? Why didn't the LOZ cards ever have any secondary characters? I mean, the Mario cards had like all 3k thousand Koopa kids, Bowser, Luigi, freakin everyone. Couldn't the Zelda cards have had i dunno... maybe a Moblin or something? How bout Ganandorf or the Deku Tree. Oh well, maybe that edition is coming out next year.

valerie- i'm sorry you didn't like my valentines in 3rd grade

Chestnuts roasted by ANdrew @ 02/17/2004 12:12 PM EST

Am I the only one associating all this V-Day talk with V-D? Well, probably, now that I think about it. TOPIC CHANGE!!!

I've seen some toy fair pics. JAKKS new WWE figures are at the top of my list, particulary the legends figures. Who wouldn't want Bret Hart, Ultimate Warrior, Sgt. Slaughter, Big John Studd, and Dude Love in the new Ruthless Aggression style? That Hurricane/Rosey Adreneline 5 two-pack looks pretty sweet, too. S.H.I.T. rules!!!

When you get back, Matt, don't forget to review "Mac and Me"

Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 02/17/2004 12:39 PM EST

Aww Wes, I don't think anyone was accusing you ;) It was all Lucky's idea anyway. As for the D&D, yeah I'll let you know. I'm planning on playing with people who I already know, and who shower regularly, so I think it might be fun instead of creepy. I have the V:tM corebook and a couple others because they are fun to read, but I've never played because the only people I've ever seen or heard of who play it are creepy and smell funny. I guess I'm just an elitist nerd.

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 02/17/2004 01:32 PM EST

I know what you mean about the elitist nerd thing, Gabby: I've played it a few times, but with people who are also interested in grooming and personal hygiene. And, yeah, I'm all about the make-up and clothes and getting my hair done at places that charge more than ten bucks a cut. But I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't a nerd, so...yeah. I wasn't crazy about D&D (the few times I've played), but I think it's because there were a lot of rules that I had to pick up as I went along and it was kind of slow moving. All in all, I'd rather read the pulp fiction on a beach somewhere, but maybe if I'd played more I would have warmed up to it. Anyway, have fun.

As further proof of my nerditude, I can't wait to see the Toy Fair stuff.

Damn. I always miss the best bloody coups because of stupid flus. Otherwise, I'd be ready to riot and brawl with the best of them. Or, you know, encourage the rioting and brawling from a safe and comfortable distance. ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 02/17/2004 01:53 PM EST

Am I the only one who remembers Pepsi cans with the push tabs?

Chestnuts roasted by Dorothy Zbornak @ 02/17/2004 04:20 PM EST

New Transformers
http://69.93.119.2/photos3/

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 02/17/2004 04:23 PM EST

W00t! one hundred and first comment!

Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken @ 02/17/2004 05:02 PM EST

I remember pull tabs, and the time when can manufacurerererers tried several different ways to replace them. Like the big O-little o method, and the odd one-handed opener that Pops used on them. People swallowing tabs prompted the change.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/17/2004 05:58 PM EST

Hey, neat. New York Toy Fair stuff. My bud's mom is out there now (or was, if it's over. I dunno the schedule or anything). She always brings him back cool weird things. Like them Tangle deals a few years ago. Silly little freebie stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by Evin @ 02/17/2004 06:15 PM EST

Here's a little something while we wait for Matt to get back..
Atari 5200 Re-Reviewed!!

http://cyanyde.kicks-ass.net/atari/index.html

Lots of pix.. enjoy!

Chestnuts roasted by Cyanyde @ 02/17/2004 06:55 PM EST

Gabby: Well, I hope the folks aren't set against me; I just think that when stuff starts disappearing it's a sign that the PTB are displeased indeed. But about D&D -- I hope these people won't be offended if you hate the game. I don't know if any casual players exist, and certainly I've never met any -- the folks who play D&D tend to be obsessive nutjobs (way worse than me). So I guess I can understand the whole "elitist nerd" thing, though I don't call myself that at all.

I have one of the V:tM books too, mostly because I like the artwork in it and, like you say, it was an interesting read. But bloody hell if I could ever get into LARPing it -- that was really the worst. The horror.

Molten: More than $10 a cut? That's highway robbery! I cut my own hair. ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 02/17/2004 07:33 PM EST

The Krofft marathon has just started on TV Land.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 02/17/2004 08:09 PM EST

I cut my own hair too. I've saved $300 a year doing it and I've lost 50 lbs (of hair)

Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken @ 02/17/2004 08:57 PM EST

I remember once in the first grade, a girl didn't give me a valentine's day card, so i cried and asked her for one. She felt bad, and the next day, she gave me a card. I promptly replied by tearing it up into many shreds!

Wow! I'm a mean man, aren't? Why am I allowed to live

Chestnuts roasted by Shane! @ 02/17/2004 10:24 PM EST

I just got back Wally mart. They have Easter candy already!

Time for my yearly Cadbury Creme Egg addiction...

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 02/17/2004 11:46 PM EST

"bebopping Rocksteady"? hahhahahah oh man, that's great.

Chestnuts roasted by Toxicity- @ 02/18/2004 02:22 AM EST

Ok way off the subject but does anyone remember the oatmeal you squirted the topping on if so what was it called?

Thanks

Chestnuts roasted by Frankie @ 02/18/2004 02:52 AM EST

I just spent about two hours doing weird personality tests out of boredom. They're fun, don't get me wrong, but two hours is excessive. Damn my crazy sleeping patterns...

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 02/18/2004 03:22 AM EST

I am a full on D&D player. I started when I was about 14 because my brother was into it and I wanted to do every thing he did. Every time I move I find a new group and I always laugh at the diverse personalities. I have gamed with the Elitist Nerd (A deffinate large % of the D&D pop) as well as many other poeple from diffrent fields from garbage men to the president of a frat. I very much enjoy acting and story telling, and this is a great way to get the creative juices going. An ex-girlfriend of mine teased me about it until she tried it. After that she picked playing D&D over going to the movies.
LARPers are just crazy. I thought it would be fun to try it and wound up at a Vampire Masquerade game. It's just silly watching goth people stand around playing rock paper scissors and holding up an index card that says: "GUN".
Luckily, every person that I have had in a regular D&D session has been pretty good with the hygiene. No one lasts long in our group if they wear a cape and smell like french fries. (Go Penny Arcade!)
Anyway, D&D is deffinately for story tellers. If you have a good group of people, you can really get an epic adventure that could easily be converted into a great book or movie. You would just have to edit out the Monty Python references that seem to be in every campaign.

Good luck Gabby, I hope you enjoy!

PS I promise I'm not a nerd. Not that I have anything against nerds, I just want to clerify that all D&Ders are not complete freaks.

Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 02/18/2004 08:15 AM EST

Frank:

Oatmeal Swirlers

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 02/18/2004 09:37 AM EST

Compared to the shitty valentines day cards now, those back then had some serious meaning to it, like "the key to my heart". Now thats something.

Chestnuts roasted by nintendoshadow @ 02/18/2004 11:12 AM EST

I wanna see someone LARP a video game. Like Gabby in a pink Samus Aran costume. Or Matt as Bowser Koopa holding a "fireball" card. I call Wario! Or some V:tM Valentine cards.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 02/18/2004 11:39 AM EST

alright, well... THIS article depressed me. i'm gonna go do pushups to make myself seem more manly and stop crying.

Chestnuts roasted by Midback @ 02/18/2004 12:14 PM EST

Who is Samus Aran? Do I get an index card that says "laser gun"?

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 02/18/2004 01:22 PM EST

Dude...where do you get all this crap?

Chestnuts roasted by The Dude @ 02/18/2004 02:27 PM EST

What was I thinking giving away my snack packs to the losers that gave me Gremlins valentines.

Chestnuts roasted by Letsbuildafort @ 02/18/2004 04:52 PM EST

God. I haven't posted on the blog in almost 6 months. I'm glad to see everyone is still here. Bebop and Rocksteady made me laugh so hard, my ribs hurt. Anyway, might I add, Photog art?

Chestnuts roasted by Mixmaster Festus @ 02/19/2004 01:38 AM EST

OH thanks Matt Now can you still buy the stuff?

P.S. can you do an article on it?
PLEASE

Frankie

Chestnuts roasted by Frankie @ 02/19/2004 02:05 AM EST

I bought Ninja Turtles Valentines this year for my classmates. I'm in college, also a grown-up.

Chestnuts roasted by jjgoreha @ 02/19/2004 09:30 AM EST

http://www.people.fas.harvard.edu/~schapira/tmntnet2.mov

Chestnuts roasted by mrp @ 02/21/2004 09:28 PM EST

How do you end up with the coolest freakin' items?
Everything around here is too lame to carry any of this stuff.

jeeze.. i would kill for some "legend of zelda" valentines cards.

Chestnuts roasted by KittyxRiot @ 03/12/2004 11:33 AM EST

I laughed my ass off so hard while reading that, I farted. Thank you for making my 4/20 a symphony of air discharging from my body.

Chestnuts roasted by Pirate Dan @ 04/20/2004 10:52 PM EST