REPLIES: 288 comments
First Post! Woo! I hate myself for doing that.
Everyone go out and get a pet fish. And keep it responsibly.
Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 01/22/2004 04:02 PM EST
Holy Shit! I think Im first!
Chestnuts roasted by The Dude @ 01/22/2004 04:02 PM EST
Damn you Sean!!!
Chestnuts roasted by The Dude @ 01/22/2004 04:03 PM EST
coot alot of posts
i wanna ask if anyone rembers a juice form the ealry 90s. They were uslay fruit flavors and came in plastic bottles.I think they were called mongos?
eh i was just wondering if anyone rember them.
Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 01/22/2004 04:05 PM EST
Sorry Dude. I had just wrapped up a long diatribe on the Parrot Fish section, and lo and behold, this had changed!
By the way Matt, I forgot to mention--you may have sinned, but we forgive you. Even though apparently some of us are damned.
Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 01/22/2004 04:07 PM EST
Joey was not a Tanner by blood. He was Danny's best friend. I mean, hello? They made him sleep on a windowsill or something.
Chestnuts roasted by Bestpersonever @ 01/22/2004 04:08 PM EST
Jared: Squeeze-Its. Coming soon to a website near you.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/22/2004 04:08 PM EST
I didn't know they had a Full House board game!
Chestnuts roasted by dan^ @ 01/22/2004 04:09 PM EST
Those Olsen Twins have come a long
way. Wonder how long before they're Heffners girlfriends.
Chestnuts roasted by turkeys can't fly? @ 01/22/2004 04:18 PM EST
ahh coool i could have swore they were like mongo with a sprial on the front.
Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 01/22/2004 04:19 PM EST
Speaking of the Huxtables, does anyone remember the episode of "Growing Pains" when Ben asks a girl to go on a date to a taping of "The Cosby Show?" It was strange enough to mention another network's top show, but the Seavers were supposed to live on Long Island and the Huxtables were supposed to live in Brooklyn, but Pains was shot in Burbank while Cosby shot in New York. This reminds me of how I had to
explain to another kid in elementary why they only taped the opening of "Punky Brewster" in Chicago and he complained that it was false advertising.
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 01/22/2004 04:25 PM EST
"Oh wait, was Joey by blood? One of them wasn't by blood. Who on "Full House" wasn't by blood?"
Okay, I hate that I know this, but.... The only ones who were blood were Danny, Stephanie, DJ and Michelle. Uncle Jesse was related by marriage, Danny married his sister. Joey is in no way related, he is just Danny and Jesse's childhood friend.
Chestnuts roasted by The Dude @ 01/22/2004 04:28 PM EST
Great article, but boo to you Matt. The tetris game does not deserve to be lower then the Full House one. As an owner of the Tetris board game (wonder how many people can say that). It is worth at least a D+ just as a topic of conversation alone.
Chestnuts roasted by Doogles @ 01/22/2004 04:30 PM EST
first of all they werent the huxtables they wre the tanners. second becky wasnt by blood she was by marage.
Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 01/22/2004 04:30 PM EST
The juice you're thinking of were called "Mondos" :-)
Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 01/22/2004 04:32 PM EST
MONDOS thats it
Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 01/22/2004 04:34 PM EST
I actually own and have played the M.U.S.C.L.E. board game. It is terrible indeed. The figures are definitly the coolest part.
Chestnuts roasted by Scary Terry @ 01/22/2004 04:34 PM EST
Dave Coulier is the bigest douchebag ever. I hate that son of a biatch. Most unfunny hack that has ever been on TV. Even worse than Bob Faggat.
Chestnuts roasted by Dave Coulier Hater @ 01/22/2004 04:41 PM EST
Yeoowch! You almost blinded me on that one. My sister-in-law's brother collects many types of games, and subsequently tries to cheat at them, but I bet he'd like Tetris or M.U.S.C.L.E. For laughs, I'd give him Full House and watch his head implode.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/22/2004 04:42 PM EST
I was one of those sad recipients of the Tetris board game, which ended up gathering dust in my parent’s attic for years (most likely unplayed) until I stumbled across it a few years ago while searching for Commercial Crazies (now that was a fun game). I couldn’t believe that not only was a Tetris board game made but that someone actually bought it for me. I couldn’t figure out what you were supposed to do either, but I forced my wife to play a round with me anyway. It left us both thoroughly confused along with the overwhelming urge to hum Tetris music all day. Stupid game.
Chestnuts roasted by cravipat @ 01/22/2004 04:44 PM EST
The 80s sure had some terrible board games... like "Don't Play with Strangers" (teaches kids about safety and not talking to strangers-- and it was endorsed by Joan FREAKIN' Lundin), "The People's Court" (that's just dumb), and the "Ungame" (some hippie-dippie feel good game designed to pry into the psyche of kids). Remember this: if the game has an imprimatur from some group of shrinks or some education association on it, skip this game and get your kid something violent instead, like a GIJoe or a Chucky doll ("Wanna play???").
Chestnuts roasted by Carol the Theologian @ 01/22/2004 05:24 PM EST
We had a Von Erichs wrestling game we could never figure out. Now they're mosly dead.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/22/2004 05:28 PM EST
We had a Von Erichs wrestling game we could never figure out. Now they're mosly dead.
I must hear more about this game!
Chestnuts roasted by Phil the Scumdog @ 01/22/2004 05:47 PM EST
One of my friends had that Von Erichs game also, along with a Wrestlemania VCR game. We never figured either of them out. I've been watching a lot of Full House reruns lately too, and one thing that has really been bugging me is, by the later years of the show Uncle Jesse has pretty much taken over the "dad" role from the true star Danny. He has his own kids by then but he still manages to butt in and give all the heartfelt "dad talks" to Danny's kids as well. Danny should've kicked the bunch of moochers out of his house long ago.
Chestnuts roasted by Goggles Pisano @ 01/22/2004 06:09 PM EST
Dave Coulier ruined Peter Venkman!
and on a sidenote, ever seen the Garfied or Snoopy board games, Matt? I remember the Snoopy one had these really nice little figures that made effective projectiles.
Chestnuts roasted by Lynx @ 01/22/2004 06:21 PM EST
Gah, "Garfield", not Garfied.. now to bar my door before the cat comes to kill me. :(
Chestnuts roasted by Lynx @ 01/22/2004 06:22 PM EST
All I have to say is where the hell is the New Kids on the Block board game.......
Chestnuts roasted by LordSorrow @ 01/22/2004 06:33 PM EST
....Matt, you REALLY need to warn us better with your articles. O-ow, my eyes are still bleeding...
But seriously, I can see the 90210 game working at girls' sulmber thingies. Who else wouldn't want to put their shoulder on the teen hottie's foot? Or something...
And Full House..... that's just WRONG. Heh, which of the twins is on the box and which is on the cards? Did they get both of them to pose, or are the two still fighting over who was able to be shown?
Chestnuts roasted by Takomaster @ 01/22/2004 06:35 PM EST
Coulier did voices for the Muppet Babies so I respect him for that.
D.J. the Cat, oh man, I was wondering if Matt knew about that, I might have it somewhere on tape. I think he had his own show and then he would show up in between commercial breaks during afternoon cartoons on Fox.
Chestnuts roasted by Woogie @ 01/22/2004 06:45 PM EST
The ONLY one of those games I could have played and have not killed myself immediately afterwards is the MUSCLE one.
As far as board games go, I've always liked Battleship. It kicks ass. Just felt like sharing that.
Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 01/22/2004 07:13 PM EST
On the topic of bizarre and interesting board games, anybody remember that game Fireball Island? That wasn't a board game, that was insanity on a molded piece of plastic! Nothing like the thrill of knocking red "fireball" marbles off volcanos and out of a giant idol on a mountain to pass the afternoon away.
Chestnuts roasted by Zix the Yeti @ 01/22/2004 07:16 PM EST
Matt - I have alot of old crap laying around here that may be of interest to you (videos, games, merchandise, etc.).
Do you accept donations?
I'd rather the stuff get reviewed than sit around and collect dust.
Heck, I'll even send you the Wrestlemania VCR game :)
Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 01/22/2004 07:43 PM EST
I had the incomprehensible Ninja Turtle board game that was reviewed elsewhere on this site and never managed to play it once.
I also had a similarly asinine Simpsons board game that was just a quick cash-in. It wasn't impossible to figure out, just impossibly boring. I think I played it once and it took longer than a game of Monopoly.
However, the most unnecessary game I ever had, had to be the Home Alone 2: Lost in New York game. To play it, you first had to read and, more importantly, understand a 47-page insruction manual, then get, like, 50 of your closest friends to compete in a card-drawin', poker-chip grabbin', TMJ-inducin' bore-fest.
Chestnuts roasted by D--d-dave-some @ 01/22/2004 08:04 PM EST
Great article-
The Full House mention reminds me... I was watching an episode a couple of weeks ago, where Stephanie ended up at a makeout party- I was wondering... do they still have those? Did they? I don't know. The only time I ever heard of them was in the late 80's/ early 90's and I was too young then to know. Through high school nobody ever talked about that or anything (not like I'd want to go...). Just wondering- I'd appreciate it if somebody could give some input, thanks.
Chestnuts roasted by Rainbowfeet @ 01/22/2004 08:05 PM EST
John Stamos looks damn good in the Full House game and I'm not afraid to admit it
Chestnuts roasted by Emily @ 01/22/2004 08:57 PM EST
hahahaha the Joey Cards..god those are some terrible jokes..so bad, they ARE funny.
Chestnuts roasted by char b @ 01/22/2004 09:12 PM EST
No wonder Alanis wrote that song about Dave Coulier she probaly read those Full House joke cards. Matt if you can get your hands on Fun House the board game you should review it. That game is pretty lame.
Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 01/22/2004 09:25 PM EST
As a member of the Nintendo Generation, I didn't play many board games. I played Monopoly sometimes, and a clone of Monopoly (but not one of the derivatives) based on Railroads (train buff).
Oh, and I also had the TMNT board game with the "flipper" device. I actually had fun with that, if I remember.
Thankfully, I have never had the experience of playing ANY of the five terrible games. Thank god. Though I would love to get my hands on the Tetris game, just for the heck of it!
Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 01/22/2004 09:30 PM EST
Jared, Matt mentioned Rudy Huxtable in reference to the Tanner girls growing up.
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 01/22/2004 09:52 PM EST
The man who helped bring the world "Nukie," Michael Pakleppa, is now co-directing a live-action version of "The Last Unicorn," with Christopher Lee returning to play the king that he originally voiced in the Rankin-Bass version.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0314301/
http://www.the-last-unicorn.net/
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 01/22/2004 10:13 PM EST
I saw the He-Man game at a local antique store before it went out of buisness. I guess I know why I didn't pick it up.
Carol the Theologian is right,the doctor who invented Scruples is a fundy nutjob,and I should know,I visited his website.
Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 01/22/2004 10:17 PM EST
Considering how many board games my family had (and still has - we have a Life game that dates from the mid-80s, before they updated the jobs and added "Life Chips"), the only one of these games I even vaguely recall is the M.U.S.C.L.E game. We never gave that one half a thought, since none of us were into collecting the M.U.S.C.L.E. They tended to get lost and pulled apart too easily, not to mention my youngest sister was still pretty little then and more inclined to eat soft, chewy stuff than stage mock wrestling matches with it.
I'm a bit surprised I don't remember the "Full House" game. We watched all of the TGIF shows devotedly until the cable was turned off in March 1992 (it wouldn't be turned back on until fall 2001). Maybe that's why I have no memory of this. Rebecca was still pregnant the last time I watched the show reguarly. The game looks to me like a "Life" knock off for young kids, complete with the little cars.
I'm no longer as fond of "Full House" as I was as a kid. To put it very kindly, it has NOT dated well. It's often just too cutesy for its own good. I can't bring myself to hate it, though. I have too many happy memories of watching that show - it was one of the few things my sisters and I watched together.
Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 01/22/2004 10:17 PM EST
Does anyone remember the "Do The Urkel" boardgame? Talk about horrid. My friend actually owns this thing. Boy I wonder where Jaleel White's career is now.
Chestnuts roasted by Matrixcodex @ 01/22/2004 10:21 PM EST
I work in a K-B Toys store, so I've seen my share is dumb board games.
Matt, are you even aware that there is actually a board game based on eBay itself?! It looked so freakin horrible that I can't describe it in words!!! The saddest part was, that we had 5 when I started, and they all sold out before Christmas.
And don't even get me started on the Dr. Laura game. Yes, a DR. LAURA BOARD GAME!!! *insert scary B-Movie music*
(long time lurker, first time poster.)
Chestnuts roasted by Invader Norbert @ 01/22/2004 10:39 PM EST
A Full House board game? Somebody better hold me, 'cause I'm afraid.
Chestnuts roasted by King Shazbot @ 01/22/2004 10:42 PM EST
I've seen the eBay board game -- if it's famous for anything, it's being the game most quickly shifted to the clearance racks. Seriously, it was marked down to 5 bucks within its first month or so around here.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/22/2004 10:42 PM EST
There is a DVD copy of the Garbage Pail Kids cartoon on Ebay with the movie. Only problem is the cartoon has some Icelandic subtitles.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=2294&item=3380964560
Chestnuts roasted by Jiggle Factor @ 01/22/2004 10:47 PM EST
Actually The Dude, I recall Michelle NOT being by blood and was actually abandoned on the doorstep in the first episode of Full House. I could be wrong though, as that was a long time ago and I didn't really pay much attention to anything that wasn't animated back then...
Sucky board games I have:
-The Simpsons: Don't Have a Cow Game
-Tamagotchi
Good games with horrible drawbacks:
-13 Dead End Drive. Takes so long to set up, the other players will lose interest by the time you finish.
-The Grape Escape. If a trap is empty and you roll "crank", you choose one player to die and start over (making this game damn near impossible to finish).
Chestnuts roasted by Rewolf J @ 01/22/2004 10:49 PM EST
Oh my god, I think I still have that Full House game around here somewhere...
Chestnuts roasted by Nick F. @ 01/22/2004 10:54 PM EST
I work(ed) at ToysRUs, and I think the worst game I saw this year was the "Fib Finder" game...its a little lie detector. If I was a kid, I wouldnt want a lie detector in the house. Thats far to risky. "The dog broke the lamp mom I swear!" "Oh yea, well strap this to your arm and we will find out" *shudders* My favorite this year was "Bulls Eye Ball". Actually the game looked really shitty, but theres nothing more entertaining then having people come up to you and tell you that they are looking for "Bulls Balls"
Chestnuts roasted by Chelsey @ 01/22/2004 11:58 PM EST
Got the Jurassic Park Board game floating around. It's got really neat little dinosaur pieces. Only prob with it is that it is impossible to win when you play as anyone but the dinosaurs, so it's a little one sided.
But there is something perversly satisfying about enicircling Newman with velociraptors.....
oh and invader norbet, if it's too horrible for words please at least post some pictures somewhere i'm dying to know how the ebay board game worked. What was the goal? To rip off all the other players until you had all the money?
Chestnuts roasted by Damien @ 01/23/2004 12:01 AM EST
Rainbowfeet - I have always wondered about the mystical "make out party" as well. I know that Blossom went to one too (memories of her and Six and turtlenecks).
As for the Full House "orgy", Gia certainly looked as though she was enjoying herself! I remember thinking she was a lil slut and that Steph was tight with no tits.
Chestnuts roasted by Kristal @ 01/23/2004 12:02 AM EST
Haha Matt, I just like that you managed to mention "Charles In Charge". That show had one of teh worst theme songs ever, and I love it for that...Oh, for anyone who cares (Duck, I'm lookin at you,) the Bowie concert was awesome! I've now heard Rebel Rebel and Ziggy Stardust performed live, so my life is now complete.
Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 01/23/2004 12:27 AM EST
The best game ever that wasn't a video game was Baboon Ball. My brother had it and it actually didn't break for a month or so :)
I hate Joey on Full House. His stupid jokes make me want to attack my ear drums with toothpicks. Worst is his stupid "cut-it-out" thing. Although it was kind of funny when him and jessie were doing advertising together and they did the cat food commercial with the cats coming out of a briefcase.
Our frickin heater broke tonight. It is 12:40 am and we have a man from the gas co. in our cellar fixing it and probably making $1,000 an hour. And my dog in his infinite wisdom and thinking he needs to protect the world is barking like a nutcase.
Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/23/2004 12:46 AM EST
90210 Entangler has got to be the most painful game in the world. Well, at least it would be painful if both one's given name and one's surname also coincidentally happen to be the names of major characters on that show. (I get so much 90210 crap if I do vanity searches for myself.)
About Full House: it's a show I enjoyed as a young teenager, hated as an older teenager, but now, at 29, I find myself having an overall positive view of the series in retrospect, because, while the laugh track was indeed obnoxious, that was just par for the course for ABC sitcoms of the era besides The Wonder Years, and I recognize a sincerity a lot of other family-oriented sticoms lacked, including Step By Step, also from Miller/Boyett Productions. And I do respect that they only ever used the Olsen twins (whom, believe it or not, are fraternal twins, not identical twins as is widely assumed) to play Michelle from the first episode to the last episode. The baby didn't magically age five-to-ten-years soon after it was born (hello, Andrew Keaton on Family Ties... or, for that matter, Molly O'Brien on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, though there may have been a wormhole incident involved there; I forget, and I know of no sort of computer network which might have limitless repositories of Star Trek information which I could easily check). And, yeah, I like the theme song. Coulier did ruin Venkman though.
Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 01/23/2004 12:54 AM EST
Hey... The eBay board game is actually pretty good. It's not good for many repeat playings, but it's worth the $4 you can (could) get it for at Target or WalMart.
Two bad games: Fetch The Ink!, where you play as a dude working in a publishing company (similar to Candy Land).
and
Bee-Safe or Bee-Sorry, a game designed for kids aged 6-8, but the game cards talk about the dangers of pornography, strangers who want to kill you, adult movies on tv, and so on. And this game was made in the '70s!!
Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 01/23/2004 01:15 AM EST
I had the He-Man game and it was a blast. I don't know if Matt didn't read all the directions or what but the coolest feature was th
at some of the spaces made the whole board spin. It's hard to explain but you could be closing in on the victory when WOOSH the board spins and your way out there. THen again you could be suffering with all these penalties and then woosh up to the front. It added a whole wacky kink to the game.
Chestnuts roasted by Joe in ATX @ 01/23/2004 01:18 AM EST
Cameron... that train game you talked about, was that Double Crossing? My dad has it.
Worst game I ever got was the Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego game. I tried to play it once, couldn't figure it out, and tossed it on the shelf where it's been sitting for the last 13 years. I seem to remember tons of game pieces and a novel-like instruction manual.
A friend of mine actually has the Dr. Laura game. I refused to actually be in the same room when she opened the box. She also has the board game based on the "For Dummies" books. I forget the name of it, anybody know? The game is absolutely stupid. They should have replaced the word "Dummies" with "Retards." My friend's grandma is one of those creepy old ladies with lots of cats who goes to every freakin yard sale in the city. She buys almost every board game and pair of shoes she sees. Kinda creeps me out...
Chestnuts roasted by xtacy @ 01/23/2004 01:20 AM EST
Joe, you're sure it's the same game? I've got it right here in front of me, can't find whatcha talking about. :)
Though calling this article the "worst five" may have been a bit too promotional: only three of the games are really bad -- M.U.S.C.L.E. and He-Man was just things I wanted to fit on the site somewhere.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/23/2004 01:22 AM EST
Any crappy game fans here want the Carmen Sandiego game? Up for grabs!
Chestnuts roasted by xtacy @ 01/23/2004 01:24 AM EST
Now as for a really cool game that I could never finish- Shot Glass Checkers. I think you're supposed to use beer, not whiskey and vodka. Tried to play it with my friend twice and we never could finish it. It was pretty damn fun though!
Chestnuts roasted by xtacy @ 01/23/2004 01:26 AM EST
I remember getting some cheap board games for Christmas. One was called Acrobat. It is like a barrel of monkeys. You had an arch and you hung bats from other bats. The goal was not to make all the bats fall.
Another game I got was spider wars. Each player had his or her side of the vertical board. Your goal was to knock off the other spiders. I also had a Dinosaurs card game. I have no idea what that one was about. “Not the mamma!”
I had the Turtles board game. The dice flipper became a catapult.
Chestnuts roasted by Fk27 @ 01/23/2004 01:43 AM EST
"Crossfire! You'll get caught up in the...Cross-FIYAAAA!!" That game rocked.
Anywhoo, with all this recent fish talk, I began a reminiscin' and a ponderin' ...what ever happened to that chinchilla? Is it dead or just boring?
Chestnuts roasted by D-d-dave-some @ 01/23/2004 01:52 AM EST
D-D-Dave, it's d-d-dead. :(
The crabs, Siamese fish, cats, GloFish and parrot fishies all live on, though.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/23/2004 01:56 AM EST
xtacy: Yes, that was Double Crossing. One of my favorite games, actually. Made by Lionel. I don't know what happened to it, though :( Maybe in the attic?
Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 01/23/2004 01:57 AM EST
I remember playing that Tetris game at 2am at a friends house way back when it first came out. We couldn't figure out how to play it either.
That's not why I'm posting, though.
I have an incredibly old board game called "Exploration" that is based around (I swear) purchasing land drilling rights from around the world and drilling for oil. You put these giant plastic tectonic plates under the board and push a pin through the board to see if you strike a plate. There are magnets in some of the plates, which you can find by doing surveys with iron filings. I have no idea where it came from, but it's so horrible I can't help but love it.
Chestnuts roasted by BulletRiddled @ 01/23/2004 02:06 AM EST
Wow. 90210: Twister. Full House: The Board Game. You could get away with that kinda stuff in the 80's, but during the 90's, you threw everything out the window. The early 90's was too weird a time for me to talk about. These games are perfect examples. I used to play the Tetris Board Game a lot, though never knowing what I was doing. I crushed the Game Boy version, but I'd just end up throwing my pieces on the floor and crying into my pillow with said board game. I couldn't play my Game Boy for days on end. Thanks, Matt, you've brought back some harsh memories....
Chestnuts roasted by Armagideon Time @ 01/23/2004 02:07 AM EST
i semi recently aquired some strangee games from my friends yard sale one was BIBLEOPOLY the unholy game where you played with human sacrifices and bought bible chapters with those lives. Whoever had the most worshipers won. The other one was called DINO-MITE and you used cool little dino figures to manuver around the board and avoid tarpits without becoming EXTINCT.
Chestnuts roasted by reso @ 01/23/2004 02:08 AM EST
also i need to know what cross fire was the game is so familiar but i cant remember it would someone post what it was.
Chestnuts roasted by reso @ 01/23/2004 02:14 AM EST
Kristal- thanks! I'm glad I'm not the only one thinking about that. I brought it up at a friend's house and they brought up the Blossom example as well. I wouldn't know, I never watched that show. I swear some other shows dealt with make-out parties, too, but it's late and I can't think of anything.
Man, Crossfire. I never came into contact with the game, but I remember the commercial well. I probably could have gone the rest of my life without ever thinking of it again. Thanks, D-d-dave. :)
Chestnuts roasted by Rainbowfeet @ 01/23/2004 02:25 AM EST
Crossfire involved shooting little metal balls ("BB's?") into a battle arena. That, by default, makes it the coolest game this side of Thunderdome.
Chestnuts roasted by D-d-dave-some @ 01/23/2004 02:29 AM EST
Your description of Steph it´s the most near-to-truth.
DJ looks a little like Nadine Janssen
Chestnuts roasted by Erasmo @ 01/23/2004 02:34 AM EST
Dont feel like goin through the whole list of posts here...just had to chime in.
The only bad thing I see about the Full House game is the fact its Jesse and Joey sans mullets.
I'm tryin to remember a board game the neighbor kid had when i was young...ya built a castle or a mansion, there were hidden passages maybe? I dunno, i can tell ya it was pretty fun, any game you have to build always rocked. Maybe the game itself was nothing but spin and move, but you got to build.
Chestnuts roasted by JimCognito @ 01/23/2004 02:50 AM EST
Crossfire was an OK game. I realize it is pretty popular with the "reminiscing" crowd but I have to wonder how many of those people actually played it. You have the guns, the balls and the little rolly target things. You need to use the balls to get the targets to the opponent's side. Not as simple as it sounds. Especially after you inevitably start losing the little balls. Pretty soon you have one left and have to take turns with it...
I was watching the tube a bit ago and was reminded of another old game we had. The Hawaiian Punch game. You made little clay dudes (with the included mold) in different colors and that was your playing piece. There was a plastic piece that was the Punchy guy and if you landed on certain spaces Punchy would flatten your dude. You'd have to go back to start and remold.
Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/23/2004 02:59 AM EST
The worst board game I ever had the misfortune of owning was some stupid sailing game which came complete with cryptic instructions ordering you to throw the dices over and over for like a million times every turn to get authentic wind conditions or something.. and the most boring time ever was had by all. I think we played it only once and that was more than enough..
Chestnuts roasted by Iivuli @ 01/23/2004 03:00 AM EST
Worst board game I ever owned is easy---Transformers.
Of course, that's freakin' Jenga compared to the Full House game *shudders*
Anyway, speaking of Full House, I used to love Dave Coulier back in the early 80's when he was the host of Out of Control, which is incidentally where "Cut...it...Out" originated. Odd thing, on Out of Control he was actually FUNNY. When he came to do Full House, he was annoying.
One wonders if Dave Coulier's complete lack of funny was not so much his fault as his comedic talent getting denied a work visa at the US/Canadian border. I couldn't believe that jackoff was the same guy that entertained me so much on Nickelodeon back when the network was worth watching and had COOL programs like Out of Control, You Can't Do That on Television, Turkey TV (Own up to the fact that Ivan Tellalie pwned ur a$$ d00d), Count Duckula and the show that spawned it which was the best of them all, Danger Mouse (how I'd kill for a DM DVD set).
Anyway, those Joey Joke cards were...interesting. And by interesting I mean skin-peelingly bad.
So just letting you guys know that "Cut...it...out" was part of Dave Coulier's crap excuse for an act years before he was doing it on Full House. I remember watching a rerun of him doing that and after he did "Cut..it...out" I mimicked the same gesture going "You...suck...dick".
Just to amuse meself.
Chestnuts roasted by Kev @ 01/23/2004 03:33 AM EST
Yeah, sucks that the cast was saddled with that whole Full House stigma, because they really weren't too bad in the other roles they've had. Bob Saget is particularly misjudged -- he actually has a good sense of humor. And Stamos! He was in the Kokomo video!
If I remember correctly, the series wasn't cancelled so much because of sliding ratings, but because they'd amassed too big of a cast. For a show like that, they had a lot of salaries to hand out. Oh well -- when TGIF first started being called that, I used to love Friday nights. The shows were annoying and crappy, but still amazingly watchable, and that two-hour block was a good way to pass the time.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/23/2004 03:45 AM EST
Sorry, Kev, we may have given America mad cow disease (which is a vastly overblown concern, but this isn't the time or place to discuss that), but, nope, Dave Coulier is yours (assuming you're American), not ours. He was born in Detroit, Michigan, USA, which is almost in Canada, but not quite. (Though I'm sure, from his French-Canadian-sounding surname, that he had ancestors migrate from Quebec or Acadia (Atlantic Canada).)
Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 01/23/2004 03:51 AM EST
when was it that game boards were invented. i mean past the conventional ones like chess checkers and backgammon. werent like the first ones dont break the ice and catapillar or jumping beans. then they made UNconventional games like puzzlemania where you had to build a puzzle from game cards you found off the board which only consisted of 9 peices
Chestnuts roasted by reso @ 01/23/2004 03:51 AM EST
I Return! And an awesome article is bestowed upon me! I just laughed my ass off when i saw full house on the main page. Then the 90210 just made me speechless and i felt depressed and amazed at the same time while looking at it.
My favorite board games were candyland, chutes and ladders, life, monopoly(longest game ever), and uh, thats it... now i must sleep.
(''(@_@)'') Rawr!
Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 01/23/2004 05:24 AM EST
Wow, that Tetris Board Game looks amazing. They should make a Video Tetris Board Game. That would be so cool. Actually, no, it wouldn't, but, whatever.
Anyway, does anyone remember when the movie Jumangi (I think that's how it's spelled, but i'm not sure) came out, someone thought of the great idea to release an actual Jumangi game? I never actually saw the game in stores or anything, but I remember seeing commercials for it. It was just like the game was in movie or the book, only without all the wild animals coming to life and trying to eat the players. Either the people who designed the game were too stupid to realize that that's the only thing that makes the game even remotely interesting or they were just hoping to con really little kids into thinking wild animals really would try to eat them.
Chestnuts roasted by gmfbrown @ 01/23/2004 06:27 AM EST
Oh My God... Remember in Amelie when she finally figures out who the bald dude is and the light flashes over her and she orgasms and floods the entire train station? I just had that shit happen!
OK, as a kid who played extensively with M.U.S.C.L.E.S. and who, like Matt, ditched them when they started turning purple, and actually got mad when they turned neon, I thought I knew all there was to know about them. I've even read most of the articles on X-E about them... I think. But one HUGE fact has somehow escaped me.
M.U.S.C.L.E.S. are Japanese spawned creepers! Not only that, but they're based on the Muscleman Comic, which is fucking hugely known in Japan. On the picture in this article, Muscleman even has the Kanji for "muscle" right on his forehead!
The only reason I caught this was because some of the kids pulled out old copies of the comic today, by chance, before i logged on to read this new article. This is like crazy ass coincidence after coincidence. Fuck, i've got to re-scan the site now. Am I the only one who assumed M.U.S.C.L.E.S. were from the states?
Also, every Japanese person I know likes Full House.
am I the only one here in Japan? It seems unlikely... but possible i suppose.
Chestnuts roasted by Chopstick Sensei @ 01/23/2004 07:59 AM EST
I love my M.U.S.C.L.E. figures. I went home last year for my brother's wedding and was looking through some of my old junk and they seem to be scattered evenely in every box and drawer that holds my old memories. Along with Garbage Pail Kids and Star Wars Micro Machines.
By The way, I really liked the M.U.S.C.L.E. Nintendo game. That was the Smash Brothers of the time at our house.
Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 01/23/2004 08:15 AM EST
Stilewalker, do a search for MUSCLE on the main page. I actually reviewed that game. Wasn't a huge fan, but the characters were fun.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/23/2004 08:18 AM EST
holy crap, is that a gang-style execution happening on the front of the 90210 box!?
and yeah, dave coulier is from detroit. i know a couple people who swear they've knocked on his door, or seen him at the gorcery store or whatnot. i hope i never run into him...
Chestnuts roasted by urquidez @ 01/23/2004 08:36 AM EST
If Full House earned a board game why didn't "Perfect Strangers" have a board game? The show was a million times better. Imagine assuming the role of Balki or that cocaine and speed freak known as cousin Larry. I could see dozens of "Don't be rediculous!!!" strewn across the board. I guess the goal of the game would be to score with Jennifer or Mary Ann. How did Larry have a hot girlfriend? Larry seems like the type who would get busted with child pornography. I recently found out that Mark Lynn Baker (Larry) is currently starring in a musical based on the popular Frog and Toad books. How fucked up is that??
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 01/23/2004 08:44 AM EST
When I was a kid, I loved the Far Side. I got the first (at least, I'm pretty sure it was the first) "collection" book, which featured a rare picture of Gary Larson himself on the back cover. He was sorta obscured by hiding behind a plant, but I couldn't shake the feeling that he was indeed Larry from "Perfect Strangers."
So, at the time, I thought "Perfect Strangers" starred the guy who drew "The Far Side."
Kids are dumb.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/23/2004 08:46 AM EST
Crossfire....?
Is it anything like crossbows and catapults?
Crossbows and catapults was a game were two players built a castle on opposite sides of the room, on top of a little mat, with a picture of a throne on it. The object was to knock down the opponents castle with a toy crossbow or catapult until you could see the other guys throne under the rubble of his castle. It was great. Dangerous though. I remember one day we superchraged the crossbow with like the tightest rubber band ever and nearly put holes in the wall. Made the game one sided too.
Kev, there is a Dangermouse box set for sale. I found it a year ago in Melbourne for like 70$ Aus (50$ US). It was NTSC only too so it must be available in the states.
Chestnuts roasted by Damien @ 01/23/2004 09:08 AM EST
someone up there mentioned the garfield boardgame, which my grandmother had, and the point was to collect lasagna.
Another terrible boardgame was the ghostbusters game because you had to set up an entire fake cardboard haunted house before you could actually play, but it was actually a reallycool game with interactive background peices and stuff. what an awesome game.... I actually remembered it being horrible, but now that I've described it, I wish i still had it.
Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 01/23/2004 09:09 AM EST
Damien -- not really, but that's a good one too. I guess the best way to describe Crossfire is like an insane version of air hockey. They still make it, btw.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/23/2004 09:11 AM EST
That's a scary thought Matt...By the way did you check out my link? KICK ASS video games remixes and remakes!!! Highly recommended!!!
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 01/23/2004 09:12 AM EST
oh and Matt, I think you should can that side little section... I always read the newest article, and then the blog, and I'm betting that's what everyone else does as well. I think you should put the all star articles up in that section instead, and make the list a little longer.
I really liked when you would pull a classic article from the vault on the last design... that was cool too.
Just some suggestions to fill the gap.
Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 01/23/2004 09:16 AM EST
Yeah, I think I'll take your advice on that one. There's a lot of older articles that I'd like to "clean up" a bit -- won't change the text now (I'd rather them suck and be as they were, y'know?), but a lot of the older stuff has bad images that I can do cleaner versions on now....not to mention a hundred articles that I can add com downloads for.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/23/2004 09:18 AM EST
Speaking of elusive cartoonists, Bill Watterson lives in Chagrin Falls, OH which is 5 minutes down the street from me. Since he hasn't made any known public appearances for years people aren't sure what he looks like. I think its cool that the guy wrote illustrated and wrote Calvin and Hobbes,which i think was easily one of the greatest comic strips of all time, lives down the road from me. I wonder why he is so secretive and bitter?
Oh yeah, I just found out they are making a live action GARFIELD movie!!! WHAT THE FUCK??? Bill Murray will voice the fat ass orange bastard since Lorenzo Music is no longer with us...R.I.P Lorenzo
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 01/23/2004 09:24 AM EST
I've seen a picture of him -- from what I could tell, he looks amazingly like Calvin's dad.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/23/2004 09:25 AM EST
Maybe someone can help me identify an old board game that was advertised all over TV in the 80s. I wanted the shit out of this game when I was a kid, but never got it.
It was a "spy"-themed game, perhaps having something to do with finding "double agents." The gimmick with this one was a plastic-cased electronic device that you put in the middle of the board and it talked (or beeped?) to you, gave you instructions.... maybe even told you how many spaces to move?
There were two games for girls with this same gimmick from about the same time-- one in which the hunk "calls" the girl on the electronic "phone" ("You're right! I have a crush on you!"). The other was based on a mall, where the pink electronic device would help players complete a shopping list by blipping out things like "Sale at the shoe store!"
When I saw commercials for these two games I remember thinking how they were such rip-offs of the "spy game," how the game I wanted was obviously the greatest talking game of all.
Anyone remember this?
Chestnuts roasted by SuperLurker @ 01/23/2004 09:29 AM EST
I'd have to say the game with the WORST box art(i know i'm off subject kinda) is the classic Pop-o-matic game Yipes!!! It featured the mummy, wolfman, dracula, and frankenstein. Oh man, the expressions on their faces were funny but incredibly disturbing, especially Drac. He looked like he wanted to jump out and rape me!!! I was scarred for life...Although at the time I found the count on Sesame Street to be extremely terrifying. I almost shit my pants everytime I saw that bastard appear on screen. I'm not really sure what was the scariest thing about him. It was either his insane laughter or his purple skin, maybe it was his razorsharp portruding nose. His eyes were menacing and he had FANGS!!!! Well I'm glad I grew out of that phase.......
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 01/23/2004 09:38 AM EST
I always thought the most unwinnable game was Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaur. Every time you have 3 cave men stacked up nice and straight the bastard would knock you down. It's kinda like life, except with a wind up dinosaur.... Well not Life the board game, life the life... you know what I mean?
Chestnuts roasted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 01/23/2004 09:51 AM EST
if you do take my advice Matt, that column better be called "the CHAD Column" or my attorneys will be in touch...
you should probably be more worried if I knew how the hell to spell attourney... attorney?
Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 01/23/2004 09:58 AM EST
I always thought D.J. from Full House was hot.
Chestnuts roasted by gabro @ 01/23/2004 11:16 AM EST
Damn it Trippy, just by writing "dizzy dizzy dinosaur" you got the worst possible theme song ever to get stuck in your head to slap me across the face... that's right:
Denver... the last Dino-SAUR! He's your friend and a whole lot more!
I'm sure there's an equally aggrivating Denver the last Dinosaur Board Game. It undoubtedly involved trying to be an inconspicuous blue-green dinosaur who wears a giant trenchcoat and cruises around on a skateboard.
Chestnuts roasted by Chopstick Sensei @ 01/23/2004 11:47 AM EST
Someone mentioned the "Don't play with strangers" board game up there. I had several board games and no matter who came over to my house, they would ALWAYS ask to play THAT one. I never figured out why, and I never will.
Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 01/23/2004 11:54 AM EST
On Full House, did anyone else notice that Kimmy looked kinda like Sandra Bernhard?
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/23/2004 11:58 AM EST
Dave Coulier is from Detroit. I could have SWORN the guy was Canadian. He looks Canadian, he acts Canadian, he talks Canadian. Hmm. I suppose I should have been tipped off by the fact that most Canadian comedians and comediennes are funny and Dave is not, at least not after 1985.
I stand corrected.
Chestnuts roasted by Kev @ 01/23/2004 12:43 PM EST
I wrote to Gary Larson for an autograph, and got only his picture back in return. He was a bald guy with a rattlesnake on his desk.
Chestnuts roasted by Lando Fett @ 01/23/2004 01:28 PM EST
Anybody remember the Babysitters' Club Game? I practically begged for it back in the early 90s. I don't exactly remember the "board game" part of it, but I think it was sort of like "Trivial Pursuit" for the BSC books, which seem to have completely disappeared from bookshelves in recent years.
Chestnuts roasted by MRNonCCN @ 01/23/2004 01:53 PM EST
Bob Sagat is actually pretty funny. He had a funny part in Half Baked and directed Dirty Work. He just got stuck with the super nice guy image and ran with it to make money. I have heard him on Howard Stern talking about how much he hated doing Full House and America's Funniest Home videos.
Chestnuts roasted by Brian @ 01/23/2004 02:04 PM EST
Contrary to Matt's claim, not ALL of the actors' careers died with the show...
John Stamos now makes a living doing B'way shows from time to time. That's right kids; if you time it right, you can see Uncle Jesse LIVE - and singing! Awhile ago he was the emcee in Cabaret, and more recently he starred in Nine (which just closed). Sadly, I did not get to see him in either role. Can't wait to see what he pops up in next, but whatever it is, I am so there.
Chestnuts roasted by RU Hungry? @ 01/23/2004 02:41 PM EST
Matt - That review of M.U.S.C.L.E. was one of the first things I read when I found your site. In retrospect, I agree it was not a great game, but it really clicked with us. We had a great time with the different moves, and especially the third "electric" level where the ropes of the arena where electrified.
I love Crossbows and Catapults. I still have that game tucked away up north. My brother and I would play that game for hours. I also had a cowboy and indian playset that was huge. It had one of those plastic terrain maps that was about 6'x8' and plastic mountains and hills for the indians and a cool fort for the cowboys. We would set up all of the figures, then get rubberbands for bullets and arrows. You had to shoot it from whichever figure was shooting and knock over your opponent. There were about 35-45 figures per side, so it was quite fun! Occasionally there was a rift in the temperal flux and the cowboys and indians would be attacked by the knights.
Chestnuts roasted by Stilewalker @ 01/23/2004 02:59 PM EST
John Stamos is my hero.
"STAAAMOOOOS!!" -C.J. Scudworth
Chestnuts roasted by Kim @ 01/23/2004 03:18 PM EST
holy holy shit. Kim... I love you. All this talk on the blog, and no mention of prom king STAAAAAMMMMOOOOOOSSSS.
You rock
Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 01/23/2004 03:21 PM EST
Sweet 111th post. I doth rock.
Chestnuts roasted by Mickey the Mubling Midget @ 01/23/2004 03:32 PM EST
MRN, i remember the babysitters club game! i havent thought about that in years, but yeah, i begged for it too. i also had a claudia doll and the official fan club cassette tape. *blushes in shame*
also, i had the phone game and the mall game mentioned earlier, i think it was called..."mall madness"? another interesting game i owned was this little truth or dare game for girls where, if you refused to do the dare, you had to put a...pimple-sticker on your face. god, what was wrong with us as kids?
Chestnuts roasted by amber @ 01/23/2004 03:32 PM EST
Alright - first time ever posting here after visiting the site for over a year but seeing someone from Chagrin Falls aka "The Bubble" was too much to pass up.
Bill Waterson did indeed grow up there and was the kind of kid you'd find hung up on a locker by his underwear. Guess that explains why he's such an introvert. The jerk.
Chestnuts roasted by Archbishop Don @ 01/23/2004 03:32 PM EST
I always liked the funky board games that you got in magazines or on cereal boxes or that Star Trek game on the early Happy Meal. One of the best is the Madman game from Wizard where if you land on the square for the Silver Surfer-type character, you have to run around the room like you're flying for about five minutes. And make the "Whooosh"-ing noises all the while. Someone make a X-E board game already!
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/23/2004 03:35 PM EST
The sale at the shoe store game was Mall Madness.
I had the babysitter's club game but there were actually two the trivia one and the mystery one. I had both the mystery one was like a stoneybrook version of clue but not as good the trivia was fun. BSC licensed all sorts of stuff around that time. I even remember having some wierd reading light that clipped onto the books.
Chestnuts roasted by Shelly @ 01/23/2004 03:40 PM EST
I used to have a shopping game but it wasn't Mall Madness. This game was from the early 80's and you shopped. I can't remember much about game play but I remember every person got a thick plastic "charge card" (back when such things were mystical items to kids) and there was this big ass charge card machine and when you wanted to make a purchase you put the card on the machine and slide the lever and the little roller things would eithger say "accepted" or "declined" (or similar). I took the card machine apart once because I was desperate to know what made it work (magnets pretty much- it was completely random). I miss that game.
Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/23/2004 03:59 PM EST
Has anyone seen the animated Far Side? It was a TV special here in the US, but was only released on video in the UK.
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 01/23/2004 04:00 PM EST
I have. Actually meant to review it, never got around to it. It's "interesting," though much more surreal than clever or funny. I don't think it translated all that well, to be honest.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/23/2004 04:02 PM EST
Well at least someone saw it, Matt.
America's Funniest People was one of the worst shows ever. There are a lot of Coulier related sites. Here are some:
Official
http://www.cutitout.net/
http://www.icmtalent.com/musperf/profiles/70029.html
http://gazette.bigt83.com/issue25/dave_coulier.shtml
http://people.clemson.edu/~hclay/Dave.html
http://www.amiannoying.com/2001/view.asp?ID=2374
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dave+coulier
http://queervote.com/people/c_coulier_Dave.htm
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 01/23/2004 04:10 PM EST
I'm literally cracking up just at the sight of that first URL. Haven't even clicked. Nothing can compare to the build-up of cutitout.net.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 01/23/2004 04:12 PM EST
RU-I saw John Stamos as Emcee in Cabaret and he was actually really wonderful! I met him afterwards and he was one of the warmest, friendliest people I have ever met.
Chestnuts roasted by Emily @ 01/23/2004 04:15 PM EST
Who Would You Kill On Full House?
http://www.whowouldyoukill.com/fullhouse.html
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 01/23/2004 04:16 PM EST
DAMIEN!!!! i know the game you are talking abouT!!!!!! down here in Greece we had that game and it was amazing!!! i still have it down in the basement.... here it is called Castles and Siege and it had all those amazing viking and barbarian figures.... each team had a crossbow (which as you said we fitted with a very tight rubber band) and destroyed each others walls that protected the castle!!!!! in fact.. i once used an machbox katapelt for cars which had amazing power.... but tnat is not all... the game had extra heroes that were sold seperatlty like the Minotaur and the Cyclops!!! and the Trojan Horse!!!! (i kid you not) and a Green Dragon and each of those was used as a catapelt or a croosbow!!!!!!! one of the most amazing games ever although not technicly a "board game" .... i'll try to find pics....
p.s. (matt i am browsing your site for like 3 years now this is tha fisrt time i'm communicating all tha way from Athens Greece congrats you are the greatest, people look at me at my job in tha bank laughing my ass of at yous articles and wonder why.... as the ancient Greeks said... makarii i ptohi to pnevmati... happy those who dont know.....) :)
Chestnuts roasted by Triple Zombie @ 01/23/2004 05:12 PM EST
Does anyone remember "Turn the Terrible Tank"? That game rocked!!!
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3171025509
Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 01/23/2004 05:22 PM EST
i remember "mall madness" -- i was mad that i didn't get it (i knew of someone who had the game, it was cool back in the early 90's) have another game called "meet me at the mall" -- same idea, but not as cool
jumanji was released (i think) in 94/95 and starred robin willams and kirsten dunst -- was rather odd and frightening (for a nine/ten year old, very creepy) -- more can be said at imdb.com by all means
big fan of full house back in the day for some reason, i remeber the "don't smoke drugs cuz they're bad" -- steph was using crayons to "show" how cool she was if she "smoked" (it was a rather odd episode) -- i always liked dj's boyfriend steve (he sounds EXACTLY like aladdin)
i would definately kill michelle tanner (olsen twins are byproducts of the devil and should be burned...grr...they're eighteen and they make money from selling sheety movies and crappy clothes at wal mart...)
fyi: love this site (very random but still enjoyable for a college student to read)
Chestnuts roasted by happybunnydemon @ 01/23/2004 05:23 PM EST
turn the terrible tank, turn the terrible tank. The terrible tank is headed for you!
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/23/2004 05:39 PM EST
I am ashamed to admit that we own the 90210 twister game. Even more ashamed to say that I have played it. I will accept my punishment now.
Chestnuts roasted by greatrambino @ 01/23/2004 06:21 PM EST
Blimey! Tetrus bord game? That must have been a card board blood bath.
Chestnuts roasted by MillywiggZ @ 01/23/2004 06:23 PM EST
Matt, I've read almost all of the articles on the site, and I don't remember ever seeing one about those sticker books that you filled by buying little packs of stickers that you could collect to fill in the sticker book. When I was reading about the pocket rockers, it reminded me of those because the little vending area at my backwoods school sold the books and stickers, and kids would buy the packs of stickers like mad. I even had one that was hockey-themed even though I hate sports. They also had a Nintendo Mario/Zelda one (back in the days of 8-bit) and I seem to recall a She-Ra one too, amongst the millions of themes that had their own book.
Also, it's true that DJ wasn't too annoying (compared to the others) but I totally hate her now when I catch a rerun, just because Candace Cameron's brother is Kirk and I can only think about what a dink her brother is.
Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 01/23/2004 06:51 PM EST
Me and my brother actually had a pair of some of the strangest, crappiest board games ever. I'm not sure if they were based off of larger, more legitamate board games but they came in the form of little audio cassettes. The one I had I could swear was a knock-off of Mall Madness berevified for the tiny size of the board.
Now you may wonder "if it came in the shape of an audio cassette, what's the dealie with the board? That thing must have been microscopic!".
And you'd be wondering with great panache indeed. The board itself was hard plastic that tri-folded up and stored into the centre of the cassette-shaped holder. You'd supposedly "flick" the tape in your hand to extend the board. In a compartment on the top of the tape were some magnetic round peices. And there was a button I'm pretty sure that if you pressed it, made the tape wheels spin, acting as dice for the game.
You don't get much more 80's stylin' than a board game that's stored in a shrunk-down audio cassette. What made it awful? There was no place to properly store the instructions, and for an eight-year-old the rules for both games were incredibly convoluted. So that bombed once I lost the instructions.
Am I the only one that's hair-tearingly afraid of that live action Last Unicorn remake? I have pristine clouded-over memories of that movie from when I went to my first proper birthday party for my friends' sixth birthday or so (proper being watching cartoons, playing Twister, eating McDonalds and tri-colour jello bars, and getting a treat bag full of actually awesome little toys. Nothing else really rated on the cool-ometer without that combination of things when I was a kid).
Though I think I might have just been turned off by the badness that live action movies can do to something that was meant to be in a different format. Or vice versae if you consider the animated Lord of the Rings movie.
I myself never liked Full House. I didn't like the result of that huge mutation of a family living together experiencing bad drama and sharing awful jokes. Plus I think I used the word "bimbo" for the first time in reference to DJ. I really hated DJ. The character, not the actress of course.
Though I wasn't into the stuff the other kids were into, so I can't dig too hard on people who did like it. Like New Kids (I'm pretty sure I swerved playing a board game based on them at a birthday party once), Babysitter's Club, Sweet Valley High, or the other teenybopper type franchises I was just a bit too young to understand.
This is the trouble when you have to share everything with a brother who's at least two years older than you are. You get stuff that's way too advanced/crazy for you.
Chestnuts roasted by Tonnica @ 01/23/2004 08:13 PM EST
The board game I remember most from my childhood was this one game involving penguins that you had to get from one iceberg to another and float them around, but a big polar bear could eat them. "Polar Dare," I think it was called.
YAY! Matt reviewed the Tetris board game! Nice!
Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 01/23/2004 08:22 PM EST
Sheesh, Matt...twelve comments in one thread?
Shouldn't you be working on updating the site or something like that?
:)
Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 01/23/2004 08:35 PM EST
OK, there was this game I had that I can't remember the name of. I am inclined to wonder if it was a local monstrosity because I also don't remember seeing commercials of it as a kid and when I got it as a gift was kind of surprised because I'd never heard of it. It was sort of like a tabletop foosball or arcade hockey game but with dolphins. Yes, dolphins. And they were playing I guess it was a cross between soccer and basketball (my memory is very vague here). There were two teams of dolphins and I seem to remember a high up net, though that could just be my stupidity. I do remember having a goal tending dolphin that squeaked when it moved side to side. The other dolphins were set into the little pool-ish playinhg area and you'd push a little lever on your side and the dolpin would pop up a bit and nudge the ball. It was out around the same time as Baboon Ball but I can remember Baboon Ball being about hockey playing Congo rejects. This was definitely dolphins. There was a little white fence around the playing area and stickers.
Not as good as Pig Pong, though. Nothing will ever be as good as Pig Pong.
Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/23/2004 08:37 PM EST
I had both the Sweet Valley High and the Babysitter's Club games. The SVH was far superior. We actually enjoyed playing it, whereas the BSC was played once and tossed under the couch.
Did anyone else have Fireball Island? It was a relatively large game made out of raised moulded plastic about seven inches high in the center, where the volcano was. You went around the board and occasionally the other players would get to push a marble out of the volcano and hope to hit you.
I got it for Christmas one year and my mother has never let me forget the hassel she went through to find it. Especially since I only played it once or twice.
Chestnuts roasted by allicat @ 01/23/2004 09:02 PM EST
Does anyone remember the game Date Phone, or something like that? You had this monsterous pink phone and it would ring with some guy saying he liked you? Even way back then I realized that the guys were gay and could care less if they liked me or not. I played it once and tossed it under my bed where it wasn't seen again till we moved.
Chestnuts roasted by Stacey @ 01/23/2004 09:10 PM EST
happybunnydemon-
The reason why "Steve" sounded like Aladdin is because... he was.
Scott Weinger:
http://imdb.com/name/nm0918334/
Chestnuts roasted by Rainbowfeet @ 01/23/2004 09:43 PM EST
Hmmm, Triple Zombie, I don't think that was quite the same thing but it sounds like more fun. It sounds like you had a much better catapult (the one in crossbows is shiteworthy).
Dizzy Dizzy dinosaur. I still have it. I'm staring at it right now. It was great, but a family friend broke it when she tried to fold the board back the wrong way and snapped it in half. The dinosaur couldn't role over the board with all that masking tape after that. Sob. Dinosaur still works but.
I've got loads of others, but most of the games I owned were pretty good. About the most obscure one was cat burglar, where you had to get into a safe and steal a gem without setting off the alarm.
Chestnuts roasted by Damien @ 01/23/2004 10:06 PM EST
Allicat- my brother had Fireball Island. It was a dull game for sure. It's kind of amusing to see that mine weren't the only parents who would tell you what hell they went through to get a gift. I remember WAY back one year for mybirthday I wanted Mr. Mouth (the original NON-FROG version, was a yellow head) and my father searched aall over to find it. He ended up getting it at a Toys R Us in EBF because we had no Toys R Us close by in those days.
Speaking of...anyone remember the game Cat's Eye where there was the thing full of marbles and four cat trays and you had to fill up the tray with marbles and the only cat's eye?
Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/23/2004 10:17 PM EST
Did anyone else play Guess Who?
God, I seriously loved that game. It was so fucking simple, but you felt like Sherlock Holmes when you won. Not to mention the fact that the cartoon pieces talked on the commercial, so you could totally associate them as being real people.
Chestnuts roasted by Chopstick Sensei @ 01/23/2004 10:54 PM EST
If you think that the jingle for Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaur gets to your head bad, you have not yet experienced the commercial "Pretty Pretty Princess"...with Gwendolyn, the ruler of the entire universe!!!
BTW: Do you remember "Tales of the Crystals", aka the D&D for young girls?
Chestnuts roasted by Carol the Theologian @ 01/23/2004 10:59 PM EST
Strangely enough, I once had to endure the horror of the "Full House" board game once when I was 7 and my mom took me to a friends house and her daughter forced me to play.... well it was either that or sitting on the floor waiting to leave...I think I should have chosen the floor
Chestnuts roasted by The Blue Meanie @ 01/23/2004 11:15 PM EST
Guess Who was neat, though the Duh factor was upped when the commercial had the disclaimer "Faces do not talk" on it. I did remember the Hawaiian Punch game. Making the little guy was fun in itself. Monopoly and Life, however, were the top cause of major sib fights.
In college, I spent my freshman year playing Mancala instead of studying Bio 101. I got an A- anyway...
I've found the place of Games that Sucketh:
http://www.educationalmedia.com/
Chestnuts roasted by Carol the Theologian @ 01/23/2004 11:19 PM EST
sorry..I was busy staring at that chick in pink on the right side of the screen. Anyway, I think that 90210 game looks scary. Hold me.
Chestnuts roasted by planet garp @ 01/23/2004 11:30 PM EST
Coulier gets a pass now that I remember the awful prop comedy of Bruce Baum from "America's Funniest People."
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/brucebaum136881.html
"I don't kill flies, but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell "Whooa, I'm way too high."
"I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman."
BRUCE BAUM AND THE RED HOT CHILI HEIFERS' "COWIFORNICATION"
http://killerstandup.com/brucebaum.html
"You can contact Bruce Baum at WeWantBruce@aol.com for almost any reason"
http://www.delafont.com/comedians/bruce-baum.htm
What Others Say About Bruce Baum
http://www.delafont.com/comedians/Comedian_Reviews/Bruce_Baum.htm
http://imdb.com/name/nm0062070/
Baum worked with Robert "Wax Face" Z'Dar
http://imdb.com/title/tt0303636/
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 01/24/2004 12:11 AM EST
"Ungame" (some hippie-dippie feel good game designed to pry into the psyche of kids).
I remember that. It sucks.
If it was an ungame, it would involve taking pot shots at each other. The last one standing also would shoot himself.
Not very fun, but it would sell like hotcakes among the Gothic crowd
Chestnuts roasted by NOT ME @ 01/24/2004 12:31 AM EST
mondo coolers
Chestnuts roasted by :) @ 01/24/2004 01:11 AM EST
i think you should do somethin on either the tv show biker mice from mars, or cadillacs and dinosaurs. theyre both memorable epics of my younger years.
Chestnuts roasted by Ryder @ 01/24/2004 01:11 AM EST
You want to talk boring board games? Look around for a United Nations Game from the early '60s, players moved their tokens around the board and drew cards, each with a nation's name it. I think the game ended when every nation's seat was full and one player had a majority share. If the players were patient enough to get to that point!
Chestnuts roasted by Lute Skywatcher @ 01/24/2004 01:50 AM EST
I had the little cassette-shaped magnetic board game things, just like Tonnica up there. I mainly used the built-in spinner to make its cool sound, which I interpreted as a warp sound or the sound of a laser gun whenever I was playing pretend with stuff.
Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 01/24/2004 03:07 AM EST
I think that "Mouse Trap" had an inherent design flaw that made it one of the worst board games ever: building the damn thing was so much fun it made actually playing the "game" unnecessary. I can honestly say, as an owner of the game since the 80's, that I've never ONCE played a single game. However, on Saturday afternoons, after the 'toons, I probably built that contraption on the living room floor at least fifty times... Alone...
During American Gladiators...
Gemini?
Chestnuts roasted by D-d-dave-some @ 01/24/2004 04:01 AM EST
D-d-dave-some just gave me an A-A-Awesome idea:
Construction toys that focus on the type of fun messing with Mouse Trap provides
Chestnuts roasted by Rewolf J @ 01/24/2004 04:15 AM EST
We used to use the Mousetrap board with GI Joes. It was an elaborate trap machine thing set up by Cobra and the Joes kept getting their dumb asses stuck in it. =)
Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/24/2004 04:32 AM EST
Pitifully, I never played with G.I. Joes. So I'll just imagine it was Galvatron saying, "The trap is set! Here comes the net!"
In the same vein as "Grape Escape" was a game called "Splat." (I think.) It involved Play-Doh bugs for playing pieces that would get "splatted" if a certain card was drawn. I played, and enjoyed, it with my little sister even when I was a bad-ass 16 year-old.
"You can't get away from IT! It. From. ThePIT!!"
Chestnuts roasted by D-d-dave-some @ 01/24/2004 04:52 AM EST
Whoa, I'm late. Some points I'd like to make:
- Good jeorb as always, Matt.
- I don't think I ever even played the MUSCLE game, but I remember being excited about owning it. I mean, NEON characters!
- I could've sworn there was another He-Man board game that was much better quality. The cardboard figures were actually cut-outs and the game involved the characters carrying gray, plastic swords. I remember me and my friends would just do away with the cardboard cut-outs and use the action figures. Especially since the swords fit their hands.
- I owned the Transformers board game, but me and my brothers never played it. It was so big and confusing that the idea of opening it caused brain hemmoraging.
- Carol the Theologian: Funny you talk about that Guess Who ad. There was some documentary (I think on HBO) when I was younger where they were talking about commercials and/or kids. It's all fuzzy to me. But they talked about Guess Who and these kids were complaining about how the cards don't talk like they do on the commercial and how upset they were over it. And I watched it, maybe a year or two older than them, wondering what the hell was their problem.
Sure enough, months later, they added the line about cards not being able to talk. Cripes.
- I got a kick out of the DJ from Full House/DJ Cat line. This is because my brother always called her "DJ Fat" as a joke.
- On a trip to Mexico about ten years ago, I remember seeing DJ Cat's show on TV. Only it was in Spanish. And not as in dubbed, but as in with Mexican actors.
The most bizarre and awesome thing I've seen since French Alf.
Chestnuts roasted by Gavok @ 01/24/2004 05:02 AM EST
...Dear God. Dear, dear God.
Joey Joke Cards?
I don't think I can live on a planet that produced Joey-f'ing-Tanner Joke Cards.
I...I'm going to go cry now.
Chestnuts roasted by TheNovak @ 01/24/2004 05:24 AM EST
Hey guys, He-Man is about to die, and we don't have a bad board game from the new line yet! Please do your part to save He-Man! Go to this webpage for more details: http://geocities.com/jt_carter/80s/
Chestnuts roasted by Jason @ 01/24/2004 09:50 AM EST
Man, you guys got to "Mouse Trap" before me. I lost or broke all the pieces before I ever got to play, but since I was an only child and didn't have anybody to play board games with, I was a videogamer anyway. Couple of things real quick:
I was never really into the M.U.S.C.L.E. figures, mainly because I would buy a new WWF figure every week, but I did have a championship belt thing that had holders on each of the little plastic "plates" for the M.U.S.C.L.E. figures. We used to wrestle in backyards (before it was trendy), and I remember that belt being one of the most realistic toy belts of it's time, and I don't remember what happened to it. I think I lost it in a match.
Second, my ex and I always used to play Monopoly. We had about 12 different versions of it, including a couple of the "Late for the sky productions" knockoffs. Here's a quick list... the bitch still has them all, so I don't know how accurate it is.
Monopoly
Simpsons Monopoly
Wizard of Oz Monopoly
Disney Monopoly
.Com Monopoly*
Pokemon Monopoly**
Powerpuff Girls Monopoly***Star Wars Episode One Monopoly
The 60's
Whoville-opoly
Make-Your-Own-Opoly
I think there was more, but I can't think of them. Anyways, the ones with the asteriks have special rules as follows
* a Mr. Monopoly (that still sounds weird, why did they change his name from "Rich Uncle Pennybags?") token could be used, i think it was if you roll doubles or something, you could put it on a spot that you don't want to pay rent on or something like that.
** When you rolled doubles, you could battle an opposing player for a property they own, provided they don't have a monopoly on that color. you would each roll one die, and whoever had the higher roll won the battle
*** Cutout villan pieces, although I don't remember what they were for.
Anyways, I also have that VCR WrestleMania game. We couldn't really figure out the instructions, but I was like 6 at the time (the clips are from the time of wrestlemania 4).
Perfection was a cool game, but them pieces hurt when you step on them barefoot.
I had a game a long long time ago with the SuperFriends or something like that. I don't really remember much, there were plastic pieces and I think buildings or something, anybody know what I'm talking about?
This is getting long. I'll shut up for this post.
Chestnuts roasted by SKiTZo from stupid5pin.com @ 01/24/2004 10:02 AM EST
How I would kill Danny Tanner off (X-E extended version, yay!)
After coming home from a long day at work on "Wake Up San Fransisco," Danny reaches for his favorite sponge, getting ready to wash the sink for the 7 billionth time today, when the sponge, tired of getting chemical burns from all that bleach, comes to life and spits the bleach in Danny"s face. Blinded by the bleach in his eyes, he reaches around to find the sink, so that he can rinse his eyes out, but instead, sticks his hand in the garbage disposal. Joey comes home to find Danny bleeding all over the kitchen. "Danny," Joey says, "You"re messing up your kitchen. Cut - it - out." Seconds later, he realizes that Danny is hurt, and doesn't know what to do. The kids are all at school, so they can't help, so he yells out Jesse's name. He figures that Jesse is in the basement, so he decides to go look, but alas, the red light is on. So he dials his operator and asks the number for 911. She laughs, not at what she figures is a joke, but at Joey's stupidity. So Joey figures out the number on his own and calls. The dispatcher recognizes his voice and says "hey, you're that weasel from TV." Joey talks to her in the weasel voice, then his bullwinkle voice, and then his popeye voice. Then sees that Danny has fallen to the ground and asks the dispatcher to send an ambulance. The paramedics arrive on the scene, but alas, Joey's terrible comedy routine took too long and Danny had already bled to death. The end.
Hey Matt, I have this domain that I don't have any clue what to do with, it's toyaction.net. I figure you could use it for that "action figure theatre" thing you do. If you want it, you can have it, you just have to pay the transfer fees. Otherwise I'm probably just going to sell it off.
Chestnuts roasted by SKiTZo from stupid5pin.com @ 01/24/2004 10:11 AM EST
Come now, TheNovak.... They're Joey-F'ing-Gladstone Joke Cards.
And I still don't know why he moved in with them. As for John Stamos' amazing career now, when he's not on stage, or playing drums for the pale shadow of the Beach Boys (Wilson Brothers we hardly knew ye) You can check him out doing Collect Call commercials. YUP! Johnny-boy's joined the ranks of Terry Bradshaw, Hulk Hogan, Carrottop and ALF... Now if they could only get that new ALF show back in the works. Project A.L.F. just wasn't enough
Chestnuts roasted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 01/24/2004 10:13 AM EST
Yes Gavok, that kiddie consumer documentary was on HBO, and it was produced to make kids aware about deceptive advertising, including a neat clip about fake food props (lard or Crisco in place of real ice cream because the studio lights would melt the real thing away). But the kids who complained about Guess Who were sure a bunch of dummies. Those idiots ought to be fed with that Crisco ice cream prop for that. My sibbies were laughing their butts off at the stupidity.
I do remember "Instant Insanity", a two player game with group of four cubes with different colors on each face. I guess that the goal of the game is to have your colors be on top. Weird thing, especially that they used Napoleon XIV's "They've Come To Take Me Away, Ha Ha!" tune to advertise.
The Brunching Shuttlecocks have a Book of Ratings section, and it has ratings for Monopoly tokens:
http://www.bookofratings.com/monopoly.html
Chestnuts roasted by Carol the Theologian @ 01/24/2004 10:41 AM EST
ME, did you get "Wax Face" for Robert Z'Dar from my post in the blogs months ago, or is a common reaction to that stupendous face that Rob has?
Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 01/24/2004 11:31 AM EST
I'm not crazy, I found a site with that M.U.S.C.L.E. belt thing I mentioned earlier:
http://www.newellsystems.com/muscle/collecting/belt.asp
Chestnuts roasted by SKiTZo from stupid5pin.com @ 01/24/2004 12:18 PM EST
You know what game I love? The Game of Life. But you have to play it with the special ghetto rules. Like the 'Salesperson' is actually 'Arms Dealer' and the 'Travel Agent' is 'Columbian Drug Runner'. Also, you're not allowed to buy insurance and you can sell your children or your car to whoever wants to buy them. And you have to be drunk. Then it is the funnest game ever. Oh, and anybody who gets Policeman as a career gets shot immediately and has to go back to start.
Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 01/24/2004 12:57 PM EST
Here's the synopsis of the first episode of Full House:
In the series opener, San Francisco sportscaster Danny Tanner, who works for KTMB channel 8, is understandably still saddened by the death of his wife Pam, who died 4 months ago. Danny's mother Claire leaves to go back home to Seattle after staying with Danny and his three daughters D.J., Stephanie, and Michelle for 3 months in order to help out after Pam's death. Danny's best friend Joey Gladstone and Pam's brother Jesse decide to move in for a few months to give Danny some needed help with the girls. Jesse moves into Stephanie's bedroom, and Stephanie becomes D.J.'s roommate, even though D.J. would much rather continue to have her own bedroom. D.J. thinks everything that means something to her is beginning to disappear, beginning with Pam's death, then Claire going back home, and now not having her own bedroom anymore, so D.J. decides to move into the garage so she can have her own bedroom, and the guys try to talk her out of it.
_
Guess Michelle wasn't a foundling child.
D. Dodge Silver
Chestnuts roasted by D, Dodge Silver @ 01/24/2004 01:02 PM EST
Instant Insanity is based on an old puzzle, I had a book on how to make one with wooden blocks, you can use different color veneers for the faces of the cubes or even coins. If you map out the faces, you can figure out how to arrange the cubes so only four different faces show along the long sides. What was the name of that game where you placed marbles on a board and then pushed sliding levers back and forth to make your opponents drop out? I remember the commercial tagline was a kid saying "I'm the sole survivor!" kind of like a bad Boris Karloff impression. It's one of the (very) few TV-related things that has slipped out of the vast trivia database that is my brain.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/24/2004 02:40 PM EST
That's the first one? Damn. And here I was thinking the one where Jesse and Joey try to change Michelle's diaper was the first one.
*is embarassed to know that.*
Chestnuts roasted by Onslaught Six @ 01/24/2004 02:58 PM EST
Watching Mad TV with guest star Rebecca Romijn Stamos and my roommate asks me, "What does she look like?" I answer the best way I can: "She's um...got blue skin and scales..." Roommate was unimpressed and accused me of lying. Roommate also thought Rebecca Romjin Stamos was Jesse's wife on Full House. I said, "No, his wife WAS Rebecca but it was a different Rebecca. That was just her TV name."
Isn't the song "They're Coming to Take Me Away" as opposed to "They've Come..." ? Oh, and I think the person who said Michelle was left at the Tanner's door was joking. At least I truly hope so.
Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/24/2004 03:29 PM EST
Where life is beautiful all the time, and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats.
Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 01/24/2004 03:33 PM EST
Reading this most excellent article made me remember the time I met Dave Coulier, when Full House was one of the top shows on t.v. I gained a complete understanding of what the term "total pompous ass who thinks his two-bit part on a smarmy sitcom starring monkey-faced children makes him a freakin' deity" means. What a creepy jerk.
Whew, glad I got that off my chest.
Chestnuts roasted by sweet polly purebred @ 01/24/2004 05:40 PM EST
Yeah, if you had the misfortune of fucking Dave Coulier, why would you admit it, let alone write a bitter song about your break-up? Sleeping with one of the Full House men would sort of be like sleeping with a children's entertainer. Or may that's just my creep-out.
Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 01/24/2004 06:12 PM EST
"It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced are you thinking of me when you f*** her?"
Scary to think of Joey Gladstone f***ing anything. And who is the "her" he is doing instead of Alanis?
If you want to see some rabid messed up things about Mr. Coulier, go to IMDB.com and look up his profile. Then read the message board topics.
Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/24/2004 06:19 PM EST
I wasn't joking about Michelle being adopted, I seriously remember that happening... But it may have been just been something like "they were standing on the front porch while singing a song about child abandonment" (I was no older than 6 when I last saw that episode). I'll just assume that I'm right and there's a all-powerful conspiracy that loves to make me look like an idiot in instances like these by making sure all of my instincts and memories are false...
Chestnuts roasted by Rewolf J @ 01/24/2004 06:23 PM EST
You know, Killer Duck, when I'm on my death bed, there are three things that I'm going to kick myself for wasting so much time on:
* shopping for and buying so many handbags,
* watching bad Angelina Jolie movies on the (likely) chance that I'll see naked boobies, and
* speculating online about the mystery woman in Alanis' song.
Since I'm already going to regret it anyway, I guess a little more speculation won't hurt. :D
Every time this discussion comes up, someone answers it to my satisfaction, but I can't seem to retain the name of who the other woman is. One thing I do remember is that Dave was about fifteen years older than Alanis and she was a teenager (on the older end) when he started banging her. While he left her for an older woman, it wasn't Rue McClanahan, Betty White, Bea Arthur or Estelle Getty. Now that I've narrowed down the field, maybe we can start making some headway. ;)
Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 01/24/2004 06:51 PM EST
Rewolf, in hindsight I think I remember an episode where the guys are trying to take care of the girls on their own and accidentally leave Michelle on the porch in her little baby seat thing. Then someone remembers and go and gets her. I don't believe any singing was involved but one can never know what with Jesse's band and all.
Molten, you got me laughing and curious...buying handbags and looking for boobies...?
Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 01/24/2004 09:03 PM EST
I've sat through my own share of Angelina movies hoping for titties. So far the only ones that didn't disappoint were the uncensored versions of Gia and Original Sin.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 01/24/2004 09:13 PM EST
more on Alanis and Dave:
Throughout her career, Alanis Morissette has railed in a similar manner at an unnamed lover from her past, a mysterious figure described only as an older man from her days at Nickelodeon. But now, on the promotional tour for Under Rug Swept, Morissette has bravely revealed the identity of her bitter muse: Dave Coulier! That's right, when Morissette had one hand in her pocket, the other hand was giving the finger to Uncle Joey on the 80s television hit "Full House." It was like ray-eee-ain on your wedding day when her and Dave Coulier broke up. And yes, the person she went down on in a theater was... Dave Coulier. The man don't mess around.
This was taken from http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/m/morissette_alanis/under-rug-swept.shtml
Chestnuts roasted by Skitzo from stupid5pin.com @ 01/24/2004 10:41 PM EST
I have to admit that between watching/subjecting myself to Gigli, I was online half-heartedly trying to see if there was any info on the mystery woman, but I didn't come up with anything. Anyway, I'm not sure what's worse: watching Ben Affleck fake an orgasm or thinking of Joey From Full House getting head. You know he probably does the stupid Popeye impression during sex.
Must...scrub...the imagery... from my head!
Uncut Gia was indeed a good movie for Angelina titties, squee4242. :D There was a tease in Tomb Raider but nobody really expected anything in that anyway. Killer Duck: looking for boobies and hand bags are some of my favourite things (but I usually don't do them at the same time. Though there was this one salesgirl...). ;)
Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 01/24/2004 11:21 PM EST
A few years ago I found a Vanilla Ice board game at the thrift store. It had a gameboard and a microphone. You would place rhyming word pieces on the gameboard and rap out a song. Definitely worthy of shitty board game status.
Chestnuts roasted by cody @ 01/24/2004 11:24 PM EST
What!? Vanilla Ice's board game shitty!? *cancels bid on Ebay*
Chestnuts roasted by Rewolf J @ 01/25/2004 12:22 AM EST
I NEVER HEARD OF NONE OF THEM GAME. AND YES JARED I TO REMEMBER A DRINK CALL MONGOS. WHAT HAPPEN TO THEM?
Chestnuts roasted by FC4 @ 01/25/2004 01:05 AM EST
Was in TRU today; looked at board games. Didn't buy it, but saw a "Big Brother" game, based on the TV show. I got a kick out of, though, b/c the first thing I thought of was: "WAR IS PEACE. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS STREGTH" Great values to instill in our youth, huh?
Oh, and Oppurtunity is on Mars now! Hooray for NASA! :)
Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 01/25/2004 01:19 AM EST
Does anyone remember the mechanical game with four wheels, red and green marbles, and you had to trap all the marbles?
That game was loud, but it rocked.
Chestnuts roasted by Die Harder? @ 01/25/2004 01:22 AM EST
I can't believe no one mentioned the Rubik's Cube game the worst game in history....
Chestnuts roasted by Tikibob @ 01/25/2004 02:16 AM EST
I actually don't LIVE in Chagrin Falls. I live in Bainbridge Township which is right next to it. I found it hilarious when I realized that the artwork on the back of The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes is a giant-sized Calvin destroying downtown Chagrin Falls!! Life would be sweet if that actually happened because Chagrin Falls is a stuck up, snobby bitch town.
One board game that sucks is Pig Pong. You used these hand held pig devices in which you squeezed to produce air to propel a cloth "ball" back and forth over a net. The problem was is was nearly impossible to keep the "ball" in the air. Fucking piece of shit...
My worst board game memory was the Christmas when I recieved the game Bedbugs from like 5 different relatives. Its not like I lobbied for that game, I mean I never asked for it from ANYBODY. The game was alright but nothing spetacular....
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 01/25/2004 02:59 AM EST
oops- I meant Indespensible Calvin and Hobbes.....
Chestnuts roasted by phunqsauce @ 01/25/2004 03:28 AM EST
Yes, Captain Planet and the Planeteers are real: http://www.johnrm.com/cptplan/captainplanet.wmv
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 01/25/2004 05:51 AM EST
I remember the marble game mentioned a few days ago. All of the marbles had their own little spot, and you would pull a lever on your side of the board one notch, and the marble either stayed or dropped through a hole in the board. I think there were black and white levers, depending on which side of the board you were sitting on. I liked this game b/c, as on only child, you could theoretically play this game by yourself w/o cheating.
Chestnuts roasted by trajeal @ 01/25/2004 08:51 AM EST
Ah, board games. I no longer have my kiddy ones, but I do remember them.
I liked to play Don't Spill the Beans and Don't Break the Ice.
I had such games as Pig Pong, Pizza Party, Ninja Turtles, and Inspector Gadget. I had games based on TV game shows that were actually fun: Jepoardy and Wheel of Fortune. Sadly, I abused my games and I lost many pieces from them.
Chestnuts roasted by JG! @ 01/25/2004 11:12 AM EST
Carol the Theologin: Funny you should mention that game! I was at Bookman's yesterday--a used bookshop around here that also deals in other things like movies, music, video games and board games--and we saw that game! I looked at it and immediadetly began thinking: "DUDE! I used to see TONS of commercials for this thing..." my sister would probably love it.
Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 01/25/2004 11:46 AM EST
Ahh yes, I know what game you guys are thinking of with the marbles and levers and such. It's called Kerplunk. Anyways, thank you Matt for bringing up the topic of board games. Now it's going to drive me insane trying to figure out what the hell that superfriends or dc comics thing was that I had. I don't remember much except the little plastic pieces and the buildings, and a quick search on the internet found nothing. And to bring the topic back to these so-called "makeout parties," if you add in a few elements, we had something like that, except we were all drunk and stoned and playing truth or dare and spin the bottle, except we had special rules for spin the bottle after you got past a certain number of times landing on the same person. The 40oz was a participant too, when you landed on it, you would have to chug. Anyways, the basic end result was everybody making out and going down on each other and feeling each other up. No, the guys didn't do anything to each other, but the girls did :-D
Chestnuts roasted by Skitzo from stupid5pin.com @ 01/25/2004 12:27 PM EST
that wheel of fortune game mentioned in an earlier post, That used to be one of my favorite games, one of my friends used to have it. I was at the grocery store a couple weeks ago, they've remade that one and the jeopardy one.
Chestnuts roasted by Skitzo from stupid5pin.com @ 01/25/2004 12:32 PM EST
Kerplunk has marbles, but no levers. It does have sticks, though. I found the other game. It's called Stay Alive!. Check here:
Today's article focuses in on