12/30/2003 Entry: "Reader Mail, Volume Tarantula."

Still working on the new design; a couple of past attempts failed, so we're trying out some other stuff. I probably won't add a new article till it's done, but I think I'll have time to write one tonight. If so, I'll link it here and all of you can giggle because the rest of the site's visitors will just have absolutely no idea that it exists. And then we will set fire to Grandma's hair while she sleeps uh huh.

Anyway, here's some quick reader mail, kicking off with something pretty cool. Very rarely, someone who worked on a film I've reviewed will touch base. Since most of the flicks I tackle are fairly obscure, the letters are just general thank-you notes for even mentioning 'em. This one's sort of in the same category, but not really. Remember that Kingdom of the Spiders review? It's from a while back. Long while, actually. The producer, Jeffrey Sneller, sent in this note...

"You did a great job of reviewing this film.  As its producer, I appreciate an honest point of view."

Even though the e-mail was complimentary, I immediately shot off a gushnote filled with apologies for anything too negative written in the review. (especially since it's an older one, I'm sure I was overly flippant) I love everything I write about, and would hate for someone associated with one of those things to mistake a comment as anything but me trying to make the articles more enjoyable for, in this case, people who just aren't very interested in old spider movies.

His response: "Your comments were fair and written with a spirited sense of humor.  Believe it or not, the story does have some factual content, however, such as tarantulas will migrate in mass to find fresh water and food (check out some of the hot desert roads, midsummer around Sierra Vista, Az. and you will see thousands of them if you really want to feel creepy).  It was also written as an environmental statement (same as the B films of the 50's, which used nukes and excessive radiation as a theme).  But our intention was not to hammer home a statement; it was to entertain, and the fact that the film has found many fans is really very satisfying.  Hopefully, we will get the film back from Good Times sometime soon and put out a decent dvd with a lot of good bonus material."

It was definitely nice to hear from him. I can't remember what I wrote in the review, but the statute of limitations on my own opinions can't be longer than a year, so I'd recommend checking out "Kingdom of the Spiders" if you get the chance.

Oddly enough, I've done an article specifically on tarantulas, too. Here's some more letters, starting with a death threat:

Laurynn: "I just wanted to let you know how incredibly fucked your article on hermit crabs was. You obviously know nothing about crabs, or pets for that matter; they are not there for your own entertainment, and if you are not willing to put in the time to care for them, you should not own them in the first place. I think its a shame that any moron with twenty-five bucks and some sadistic view of pet handling is able to walk into a store and get hermit crabs, or anything that requires care. If I were you, I would take the crabs back, or learn how to care for them properly."

Okay, I won't take this one too seriously, as chances are good that this person only landed at the Hermit Crabs article via a search engine, and doesn't know when I'm only kidding. For what it's worth, the crabs are alive and kicking, and we love 'em lots. Actually, we're about to transfer them to my girlfriend's old wire lizard cage, so I'll finally have room to buy one of those softball-sized versions. Love the softball-sized versions. Hope he doesn't eat the smaller crabs.

Nyx: "I was in Wal-mart the day after Crimmus, about to go through the check out when lo-and-behold there was a rack of GPK cards! I had heard about them from X-E and quickly pointed them out to my BF who proceeded to spaz...so I bought them. We went back the next day...and  they were out! We had purchased a 6-pack package, and none were to be seen. We ended up finding a box of the single packs... and bought some. We looked at the KB Toys outlet in the mall. They had them, but were like 30¢ more expensive, so being the psuedo-Jew that I am, went back to Wal-mart for the rest of the box. So in short, I've seen them. They're just under a dollar a pack at Wallworld. I had attempted to see if you mentioned this anywhere, so I wouldn't be sending you 'old news,' but my two minute search provided nothing."

Yep, I've seen 'em, and bought a few packs. (actually, the packs I purchased mainly consisted of strange green gum, but the cards were there) They're pretty neat and remain faithful to the original formula. No complaints here, though I doubt they'll catch on to anywhere near the level they did the first time around. Incidentally, I've got a kickass vintage GPK toy that I've been dying to review for months now. The new design will finally allow me to get around to it. Meanwhile, here's my review of Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie.

Amazon: "Greetings from Amazon.com. We thought you'd like to know that we shipped your items today, and that this completes your order.  Thanks for shopping at Amazon.com, and we hope to see you again soon."

Thanks, Amazon! Whooo!

Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 12/30/2003 10:55 PM EST

Cool! I'd kill for a Rock E. Horror GPK card!

Chestnuts roasted by Toxic_Spoontang @ 12/30/2003 11:13 PM EST

I think that people need to recognize what a boon to the economy X-E is. I believe that this friggin site has singlehandedly brought sales of orange tangergreen shit in a box to never before seen levels. There has been more than one occasion where I have rented or even purchased the movies reviewed here. It is only right and proper that someone associated with something reviewed here has taken time to acknowledge Matt! I say we all show the f***ers in charge and if they release a DVD version of Kingdom of the spiders with nifty bonus shit we all buy it. They'd be smart to give a shout out to this site too :) Hells bells, I'd buy three copies if they let Matt do a commentary or something on the DVD. It's time for the powers that be realize that my generation loves to be coddled thusly and we have disposable income. Well we have more disposable income than we did as kids.

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 12/30/2003 11:33 PM EST

I'm glad you all love the tangergreen shit, but dammit I'm jealous and I hope you all come up with a new subject soon, I feel so left out. I've never tried Ecto-Cooler and never seen the tangergreen stuff. Maybe it is because I have bad eyes. Or maybe it is because I am Canadian. Anyway, NetGrocer is racist and will not ship to me in Canada unless I happen to be a member of the American military with some special international military address. Bastards. I feel better now. Have a Happy New Years all, I am stuck working until about midnight, but I get free pizza so it all works out... kind of. Let's not pop my happy deluded pizza bubble.

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 12/31/2003 12:27 AM EST

Well, I've got enough of the stuff to last me until 3009. If anyone is unable to purchase through NetGrocer and really wants a box, e-mail me and I'll ship it off for the cost of shipping.

New topic on odd food finds? Yes, very soon. Should've been this week, but UPS fucked me over.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/31/2003 12:29 AM EST

Matt..."Cloak and Dagger".....

Anyway, I'm glad to see the site get props for being a one of a kind. A trendsetter. A Bacon and cheese sandwich. You know what I mean.

The offer still stands Matty, I have one near mint TMNT tv tray, 1989, all for you, free, just say the word...

Chestnuts roasted by Planet Garp @ 12/31/2003 01:04 AM EST

What did you order from Amazon?

Chestnuts roasted by Danny @ 12/31/2003 02:25 AM EST

Gabby, try looking in the frozen drink section, at your local grocery store, for Gushin' Green Hi-C. I believe I have the name right. I think that's the Canadian Equivalent to Shoutin' Orange Tangergreen.

Chestnuts roasted by Aubrey @ 12/31/2003 02:27 AM EST

Awww, Matt's so kind to his readers. :)

Yeah, I'm a bit misplaced in the Ecto Cooler thing, but I tried Orange Lavaburst. Not too bad. I'll keep looking for the Cool though.

Chestnuts roasted by Melanie @ 12/31/2003 03:10 AM EST

I used to have a TMNT Metal Trash Can in my room, but had to get rid of it about 5-7 years ago because...i threw up in it. It was purple and green and had a pic of the turtles looking almost evil. Yeah it was great, but now i just have a green rubbermaid trashcan. "shakes fist"

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 12/31/2003 03:17 AM EST

I have an old "Mike Tyson's" Punch-Out metal trash can. It's survived for almost 2 decades now, but recently started to develop some intermitent rust. I refuse to throw it away though. I don't care if I get lockjaw or not, I want to throw away my shit in a can with Glass Joe on it.

Chestnuts roasted by BaronVonHotPants @ 12/31/2003 09:53 AM EST

Should've been this week, but UPS fucked me over.

GASP! UPS fucked you over, impossible! What can brown do for you? Jack-shit! :D

Chestnuts roasted by Bizzar @ 12/31/2003 11:08 AM EST

i actually just cut myself last night on my half rusted out dukes of hazzard trash can. as long as the artist's representation of daisy remains intact, the trash can will remain mine.

Chestnuts roasted by kranick @ 12/31/2003 11:26 AM EST

Spider..hehehehehehehehe..spider..hehehehehehehe. That's what I did during the Shegoth scene in "Return of the King" because I think arachnids are cool. But, not on your pizza. If you wanna run cool, you gotta run on heavy, heavy fuel. I gotta get me that Pac-Man lunchbox at the local junk shop before too long.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/31/2003 11:45 AM EST

Oh, everyone has seen through my ruse and discovered my real name... how unsurprising. But it is no fun not to have a snappy nickname, and Killer Duck was taken. (Actually I've never used the name, but it is fabulous). Anywhoo, thanks for the tip Aubrey, I'll check that out. Matt, if the stuff really doesn't exist I'll probably take you up on your offer as I want to see what all the hype is about. And now Saved by the Bell is on, later all!

Chestnuts roasted by Gabbylicious @ 12/31/2003 12:23 PM EST

Gooble Gabby, gooble Gabby, one of us, one of us.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/31/2003 12:48 PM EST

HOT DAMN! I can't belive this hasn't been put here on the updated blog entries yet, but BITNER HAS POSTED! the fastest way to read his acctual post on the photog blog is to search for the date 11/28/03. He is very profesional in his responce to the phenomenon, though gives out more information than I feel he needed to. Anyways this is just so the people who only check that blog ocasionaly know. Also if you don't know the story of bitner, or photog, check out the link to the "infamous photog" entry at the bottom of the main blog page.

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 12/31/2003 01:19 PM EST

Brandon, I caught that, but has anyone been able to really verify that it's ol' Bit? Lemme know. If we can be sure that it's him, it might be time for a full-length Photog article.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/31/2003 01:21 PM EST

i e-mailed the corporation that produced ecto cooler (it's minute maid/coca cola/your conglomerate here) yesterday, and here's their response:

Thank you for contacting Coca-Cola North America. We are glad to hear from a fan of Hi-C brands.

Unfortunately, Hi-C Ecto Cooler has been discontinued. We currently do not have any future plans to put it back on the market. We know there were some loyal followers of the product, and it sounds like you were one of them. We are glad you tried the product, and we'll work hard to develop some other new products that you may enjoy.

You will be glad to learn that we have not discontinued Hi-C Shoutin' Orange Tangergreen. Regarding availability in your area, we would suggest that you check with the manager of your favorite store to see if he or she can order it for you. It may be necessary to purchase the product by the case in order for the store to order it.

so, ecto cooler=no
tangergreen=yes, for the moment

your site is the best ever.

Chestnuts roasted by allie @ 12/31/2003 01:26 PM EST

I wonder how would someone verify Bitner's ID. I mean, he could be someone with the same name but not the original, the creator of Photog. Say that last sentence in the manner of good ol' William Shatner. Mind blowing.

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 12/31/2003 01:29 PM EST

God damn Minute Maid f***ers. They have been dodging the people of x-e for too long. They don't get it. Yes, Virginia, there is still Tangergreen. But something is missing from it. The GREEN. They may as well call it Tangermostlyclear. I sure would have enjoyed it a lot more if it turned my tongue, cloting, carpet and dog green.

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 12/31/2003 01:32 PM EST

I worked for UPS as a "Seasonal Assistant" during two Decembers a few years back. It is a great feeling wearing a brown, puffy pull-over jacket and those swell pants while trying to explain to nervous women through their peep-hole why I have a UPS post-it pad instead of a D.I.A.D. (http://www.worldtrademag.com/WT/FILES/IMAGES/72466.jpg) for their signature.

Inventor of the World Wide Web has been awarded a knighthood:
http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/this_britain/story.jsp?story=477114

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 12/31/2003 01:50 PM EST

Whoever mentioned "Cloak and Dagger" is right on. Fred Savage battling spies? Awesome.

Though that movie royally freaked me out the first time I saw it.

Chestnuts roasted by Sirkus Peanuts @ 12/31/2003 02:15 PM EST

It was E.T.'s Henry Thomas and the friend from "Out of This World" who starred in "Cloak & Dagger."

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 12/31/2003 02:26 PM EST

Killer Duck and the Tangergreen Dog. Sounds like a book to me.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/31/2003 02:45 PM EST

On the whole Nathan Bitner post issue, it seems fairly credible to me. I don't think a prankster would cook up such a post. I'm not saying it's one hundred percent proven, but it's what I'm leaning toward.

Anyway, it's good to see that a producer of one of the films Matt has reviewed has commented on his article. It really establishes Matt within the professional world (although in some ways, Matt already is a professional).

Furthermore, I still need to get me some Tagergreen stuff. Maybe I'll take Matt up on that offer if I can't find any.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/31/2003 04:27 PM EST

Oh, I should probably add that I've cooked up a crazy idea. It'll be my first time ever attempting this, but it just might work. What is it? Lets just say it involves Photog.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/31/2003 04:29 PM EST

I like the new look of the blog with the old trapper keeper design.

Chestnuts roasted by Anita @ 12/31/2003 08:10 PM EST

Matt, it's totally awesome someone e-mailed you about a review you did. As Killer Duck says above, you really should be more acknowledged for the work you do in bringing obscure items and lesser-known movies to light and re-establishing interest in them. You really do have a gift of making people care about the oddest, most outrageous things (like Playmobil toys and decade-old food that would kill a lesser being). (BTW, I do remember that review. I thought it was one of the funniest you ever did, and I HATE horror movies!)

Melanie, I also bought Orange Lavaburst in lieu of Tangergreen (since I can't find it anywhere in this part of New Jersey). Not bad at all, if you get past it not being the right shade of Cheese Doodle-orange.

One of the reasons I relish living on my own is I can buy whatever freaky shit I want and don't have to explain it to my parents when I drag it home. I have four Sailor Moon Barbie-style dolls and a stuffed Sailor Moon doll picked up on sale at Kay-Bee and countless stuffed Pokemon ranging in size from the tiny ones on my desk to the cheap beanies I got from Kay-Bee (God bless their sales!) to the three-foot Meowth I got for Christmas three years ago.

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