12/12/2003 Entry: "Christmas Crunch, from the Cap'n to me!"

Christmas Crunch, from the Cap'n TO ME! Here's my review of the beast, a hands-on expose featuring a sealed box of Cap'n Crunch's holiday foray from 1988, a look at the glorious Christmas Crunch commercial, and a whole lotta rambling. Do they still make this stuff? I've looked everywhere this year...no luck. Research dictates that it was available as late as last year (they had a tie-in Pokemon promotion), but for whatever reason, the stuff just seems to have vanished. I guess what I'm saying is -- if you're lucky enough to find Christmas Crunch...buy me a box.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeff Mack @ 12/12/2003 10:59 AM EST

Y2JB78- sometimes the silent victories are far more impressive than those that culminate in much horn blowing and fanfare.
Dammit, Matt, you were very busy last night/this morning. I couldn't get near the computer last night because my roommate was using it so I had to wait to see all the goodness. I just want to know why we don't get the seemingly delicious Cookie Peeps here.
The only fun I had in the snow was coming close to beaning my night school teacher with a snowball the other day (but decided since she'd be my teacher next semester, I better not). As for XMas Crunch...I've never been fond of the Captain's sugary wares in any form, be it peanut butter, berry filled, or technicolor. It's quite sad, actually. All my friends loved it and I could not join the "secret club" of Cap'n Crunch afficianados.

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 12/12/2003 11:14 AM EST

I almost forgot- I finally got my ass to Toy R Us last night. What a Hell filled with parents pushing carts overflowing with kids and Christmas gifts. They had no Advent calendars (for shame!). But, They did have something else- Cryptozoology action figures. I am serious. There was "Mothman" (looked a lot like a fly), "Jersey Devil" (looked like a red demon horse goat type thing), and "BIGFOOT," which looked like...well, Bigfoot.

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 12/12/2003 11:18 AM EST

Hey Matt and people that are not Matt,

I need a little commercial help. It ain't holiday related, but it's been bugging me for a while now. I'm not sure how old the commercial is, but I would think it wouldn't be any newer than 1990.

It's a fast-food commercial, thogh I'm not sure for which fast-food joint. My guess is Wendy's, but I could be wrong. It takes place in a big white room, sort of Matrix-y style. A huge hamburger hangs in mid-air, and people in roofless cars drive underneath it, reaching to take chunks out of the burger.

Meanwhile there's a little jingle going on, something along the lines of "take a little niiiiibble." I think it promoted free samplings of the burger meat to make sure its good.

Does any body else remember this, or did I just make it up one night?

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 12/12/2003 11:37 AM EST

It could be a regional commercial, Mr.cubed. Sounds familiar though. Funny what sticks with you. I'm still scarred by that McD's commercial with Grimace melting in the hot sun. Fast food ads tend to go through periods of strangeness. Niiiibble... mmmm, floating burger.

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/12/2003 12:05 PM EST

It might as well be regional, but it looked way too expensive to do for just a small plot of land.

In case it is, I would have been living near San Fransico at the time it would have been shown on TV.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 12/12/2003 12:15 PM EST

Thanks for the support Duck...now that I got first post I can die, well at least not until I see how Mista Snowman's ominous destiny plays out. Mr., I swear I didn't steal your line from yesterday, it was a strange coincidence. Overnight so much was done I coulnd't keep up with all the blogging!!

But Mr., I live in Philly, and I have no recollection of that commercial whatsoever. With the disgusting amount of time I have spent in front of the tv, I think I would remember it. Maybe it is a west coast thing?

Chestnuts roasted by Y2JB78 @ 12/12/2003 01:01 PM EST

ahhhhh i forgot all about christmas crunch!!!! now im not going to heaven!

Chestnuts roasted by Scourge @ 12/12/2003 01:32 PM EST

i buy that stuff every year. the stuff is in the stores around my house. then again its probly the equivlent to your old soup/drinks store.

Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 12/12/2003 01:40 PM EST

Considering fast food territories, there are some pretty great commercials not everyone gets to see. My family lived in the Bay Area in the 70's, then we moved back to the homestate in 81, and now Carl's Jr. has managed a tenticle here in OK for a couple of years. I loved telling folks that the joint wasn't as new as they thought, and succeeded in being a one-man milkshake pimping campaign. Can anyone help this poor man?

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/12/2003 01:46 PM EST

Great stuff the ol' Christmas Crunch!

What I wanna know is where did ya find a box from 1988? Shit thats a long time to be sitting around.

Chestnuts roasted by PWalk @ 12/12/2003 02:12 PM EST

I'm loving the subliminal animation, but what are those freaky things in the last picture? They look sorta like Skeksi ornaments but that's only because they're so jagged. What's the point of them, though? Are you leading somewhere? Is the devil playing with your computer?

Chestnuts roasted by inkmage @ 12/12/2003 02:57 PM EST

i've always loved captain crunch cereal.

Chestnuts roasted by Romo @ 12/12/2003 03:44 PM EST

Matt's house is decorated so cutely. If that is his house in the picture with love a lot in a santa hat. Matt do you have this Christmas Trix ad I'm thinking about? The kids would leave Trix for Santa and the rabbit impersonated santa to get them and then the kids saw through his disguise.

Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 12/12/2003 03:54 PM EST

Man, this article really struck a cord with me. Christmas crunch was really one on the highlights of the holiday season for me. I remember in the later years the crunch berries were changed to Christmas shapes such as a tree, a star, various toys, etc. I even remember a commerical starring some dorky teenager who seemed to go into hyperactive fits explaining the various shapes. Sad to see that Christmas Crunch is no more.

Chestnuts roasted by Ociredor @ 12/12/2003 04:29 PM EST

You know what sucks? Capn' Crunchs' new colored berries. I mean why? Was the plain red an gold color scheme just not enough for todays ADD addled children. They even make "Ooops, ll berries" cereal! Sheesh! Kids these days. I eat nothing the color blue.
by the way the link above is to my bands webpage come check us out if your bored....
thanks

Chestnuts roasted by Stevie Orbot @ 12/12/2003 04:39 PM EST

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theveltronics/
sorry heres the link....

Chestnuts roasted by Stevie Orbot @ 12/12/2003 04:40 PM EST

No matter what they do to the Crunch, it still tears up the roof of your mouth, and that is what truly matters in this world. I also use a pseudo-wrestling move on my nephews called The Captains Krunch. But I'm ticklish, and they know it. Damn my ribs!

Chestnuts roasted by kingklash @ 12/12/2003 05:03 PM EST

I have three box covers for X-mas Crunch! And all of the ornaments still go on the tree! *Feels special* Good stuff, shreds the top of your mouth in any shape size or form though...

Chestnuts roasted by Dethstryke @ 12/12/2003 05:31 PM EST

Those ornaments are fun! The later ones sucked... We have one that is a holofoil printed snowflake with the center and middle perforated so that it looks like, I dunno, a snowflake thats been spun apart or something. But it's flimsy. The sled one in the article is like a sheet of cardboard! Never bends unless forced to!

Chestnuts roasted by Dethstryke @ 12/12/2003 05:40 PM EST

You know, Matt, I just have to ask - where the heck do you find all this ancient food? That one deli near you can't have /all/ of this stuff...can it?

If so, that's terrifying. :)

Chestnuts roasted by BrianS @ 12/12/2003 05:47 PM EST

The thing I love most about this site is that every childhood memory that didn't make it through my drug-addled teen years intact is resurrected like a phoenix by articles like this one.

I should've listened to Nancy Reagan, but where would the fun be if my reaction to X-E were "Oh yeah, that..." rather than "Cool! I'd forgotten about that!"

Keep up the good work, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 12/12/2003 06:30 PM EST

Why am I thinking that Capt. Crunch used to be round shaped? Was Peanut Butter Crunch round or am I confusing it with Kix? If it was mearly Peanut Butter Crunch that was round than what did normal Crunch taste like?

Chestnuts roasted by kentdog @ 12/12/2003 06:44 PM EST

This talk of Christmas commercials reminded me of one I've seen way too many times. Its the Pebbles christmas commercial where Barney dresses up as Santa to get Pebbles. The part i remember most is him saying "Ho ho ho... I'm hu hu hungry"

Actually I think I have the whole thing memorized its playing in my head as I type

Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken @ 12/12/2003 06:59 PM EST

I think I remember peanut butter crunch as being balls too.

Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken @ 12/12/2003 07:00 PM EST

Well now I feel silly, Matt mentioned the Pebbles ad in the article.

d'oh maybe I should read first, comment later

Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken @ 12/12/2003 07:16 PM EST

tearing up the roof of your mouth is an experience only cap'n crunch can bring you. It is one of those things that makes you think. Its so good but brings bloody results...

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 12/12/2003 07:26 PM EST

Actually, Spiffy, according to an earlier blog thread (the first parade, I think), Matt has a review for that commercial cooking up. Which is great, because as nice as the Christmas Crunch commercial is, it doesn't hold a candle to the Christmas Fruity Pebbles one, in my eyes.

The two constants in cartoon cereal commercials were this: The Trix Rabbit will never get to taste Trix and Barney's disguises will always fall apart, ending with Fred out for his blood. Both were changed through different commercials.

But the Trix Rabbit had to rely on a bunch of votes in an advertising plan to sell more cereal. Fred, on the other hand, calmed down and gave his best friend a bowl of his delicious cereal because it was Christmas time. And in a strange way, it made the commercial mean something to me, much like the Skeletor face-turn to Matt.

Also, I just saw the MST3K episode of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians about a half hour ago. Good Lord. And it makes me feel more geeky inside knowing that, after scanning Google and IMDB, I seem to be the only guy out there to get that Torg the robot was a reference to The Day the Earth Stood Still.

I miss Dropo already.

Chestnuts roasted by Gavok @ 12/12/2003 07:27 PM EST

Gort the Robot rules. Well, he used to. It's amazing how far a silver turtleneck will get you if you add the matching helmet, pants and elevator boots. The Day the Earth Stood Still is one of my favorite movies ever. I think the end should have had the aliens blowing the Earth up, though.
I am trying to convince myself that I do not need those cryptozoology action figures. I'm also trying to convince myself I don't need the action figures from Final fantasy X-2. But it's a losing damn battle. Maybe I'll tell my roommate to get them for me for XMas.

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 12/12/2003 07:58 PM EST

When I was little, my friend told me that Captain Crunch makes your hair stop growing. I'm presuming she thought that Christmas Crunch would make it fall out.

Chestnuts roasted by jjgoreha @ 12/12/2003 08:03 PM EST

Now, despite the fact that I agree with Matt about Cap'n Crunch (the stuff does mortal damage to the roof of my mouth), I found myself recalling "Christmas Crunch" the moment I saw the ornament of the Cap'n on the sled. I believe my parents still hang that ornament on the tree, and have every year since 1988. It must have been for my sisters - even as a kid, I wouldn't eat Cap'n Crunch unless it was the last cereal left in the house, or the only alternative was something like Raisin Bran (I hate raisins).

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 12/12/2003 09:30 PM EST

Mr. Mr. Mr., I remember the "take a little nibble" ad. It may have been a California thing, since I'm down here in So Cal. I remember it clear enough, since it ran sveral times during NBC's Saturday Morning cartoon block. By the way Matt, I was under the impression Christmas Crunch was still around, since I was eating some while watching the Royal Rumble a few years ago. We still have two of the ornaments from Christmas Crunch in our "assorted holiday shit" box.

Chestnuts roasted by Dude McGuy @ 12/12/2003 09:50 PM EST

Doesn't anyone remember when Christmas Crunch came with ICING? Yes, icing like you'd put on sugar cookies! You'd pour the cereal and milk into the bowl, then cover it up with some gloppy white icing.

I SWEAR I am not making this up...

RD

Chestnuts roasted by RD Reynolds @ 12/12/2003 10:17 PM EST

Icing on cereal...sounds like a dentist's wet dream. Can't be worse than 90% of the Ralston cereals. Once my brother begged my mom for some sort of cereal from Ralston and my sister and I told him he was eating dog food. He couldn't read but he could recognize the little checkerboard that was on our dog's food and his cereal. I don't think he's ever been the same. Then again it could have been all those times we put him in a dress...

Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 12/12/2003 10:35 PM EST

Well, good. I didn't just make it up. Do you remember what fast-food joint it was advertising?

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 12/12/2003 11:14 PM EST

It was Wendy's.

Chestnuts roasted by Dude McGuy @ 12/13/2003 12:34 AM EST

Hah! The camel that delivered Baby Jesus. We all know Llyod Lindsay Young delivered Baby Jesus. Duh. (Bonus points for anyone who can remember that guy; not Jesus, Llyod Lindsay Young.)

Chestnuts roasted by Tuff daddy Cool @ 12/13/2003 02:07 AM EST

You know, I just realized that we don't really have to remember anything these days. We can just look it up on the internet!

Hmm...but where does Matt go when he can't remember the color of Greedo's vest?

Chestnuts roasted by kentdog @ 12/13/2003 02:43 AM EST

Your decorations are beautiful :)

Chestnuts roasted by Kristal @ 12/13/2003 03:44 AM EST

I'm eating a bowl right now.. bought a very-new box just yesterday!

Chestnuts roasted by AJ! @ 12/13/2003 04:45 AM EST

LOVED this cereal.

I still have the Soggy with the snowman ornament and the Cap'n with the tree ornament hanging on my Christmas tree. My fiance was like, What the Hell is that?

A little piece of heaven, that's all...

Dom from Philly

Chestnuts roasted by Dom from Philly @ 12/13/2003 06:32 AM EST

Christmas 1988? That was my first Christmas :D

Chestnuts roasted by marril159 @ 12/13/2003 11:22 AM EST

Last weekend at the grocery store I noticed a whole rack of Christmas Crunch. Matt, if you want a box, get in touch through my webpage and maybe we can work something out.

Chestnuts roasted by Jesse @ 12/13/2003 06:25 PM EST

More Crunches! I was coincidentally getting some pics of other cereal mascots and I stumbled upon some interesting stuff. 2 more Crunches!
There is Punch Crunch and Vanilly Crunch. I think it is safe to say they were discontinued in the 70's or 60's judging by the box art. Go to http://theimaginaryworld.com/quaker.html to see them.

Chestnuts roasted by The Nefarious Terd Fergusson @ 12/13/2003 10:05 PM EST

i ate a bowl of the new christmas crunch right before i turned on my pc to read that article

Chestnuts roasted by the corinthian @ 12/13/2003 10:10 PM EST

Ya know, I coulda sworn I saw the store I work at selling Christmas Crunch...
I'll keep an eye open tomorrow :)

Chestnuts roasted by Gazir'ra @ 12/13/2003 10:25 PM EST

GUESS WHAT

THEY STILL SELL CAPTAIN CRUNCH!!!! I'm in North Dakota and I saw somebody with a box of it in their cart today. The boxart is the same as the one from 1988, but updated with that "2003" look. Captain hasn't changed one bit. :D

Nyah nyah...I have new Captain Crunch, you don't....

Chestnuts roasted by PZelda @ 12/14/2003 02:07 AM EST

There's christmas crunch all over the damn place here! We just bought like four boxes of it. I'm around the San Francisco area so I wonder if it's just distributed to limited areas now?

Chestnuts roasted by Michelle @ 12/14/2003 04:10 PM EST

Christmas crunch is in Illinois too. I remember in 1988 when I got that silly ornament, I thought it was the greatest thing ever. Awesome...

Chestnuts roasted by T-Hohs @ 12/14/2003 11:48 PM EST

Llyod Lindsay Young? Isn't he a weather man in Fresno?

Chestnuts roasted by Dude McGuy @ 12/15/2003 03:22 AM EST

Hey guys! Long time no post!

Anyway, I'm here to tell you about the time my brother and I went to my Grandma's house just two days before Christmas. And what should we find but two boxes of Christmas Crunch for us to open that day. But these were the ones that came with a box that included a gift that was supposed to be from Cap'n Crunch himself. It was nothing more than stickers that you could peel off as an advent calendar, Christmas-Colored Rain-Blo Gumballs, and some coupons for more Christmas Crunch and Rain-Blo Gumballs. But my brother and I loved it, and so we started peeling off all of the stickers up until the appropriate date and putting them on the various wrapped gifts. Once we were done with that, I was bored and resorted to nagging my grandmother to let me open at least one gift. And even though she was Grandma and she spoiled the Hell out of me, she didn't go for it.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 12/15/2003 12:16 PM EST

I've seen Christmas Crunch at area Meijer stores (like Walmart but regional to the midwest). I keep getting tempted to buy a box every time I go there and relive fond memories of tearing up the inside of my mouth on those jagged rocks.

Chestnuts roasted by muddymoose @ 12/15/2003 03:16 PM EST

I work at an Albertsons in the SE and we have plenty of Christmas Crunch, although the "Crunch Berries" are no longer the traditional spheres, but festive holiday shapes. Unfortunately these shapes have pointy edges, which only add to the cereal’s innate mouth destroying power.

Chestnuts roasted by Eel Monger @ 12/16/2003 11:30 PM EST

Is that Rod Roddy from The Price is Right doing to voiceover?

Chestnuts roasted by Laurie @ 12/17/2003 02:18 AM EST

Hey- I don't know where you guys are located. But here in Massachusetts, it's available in December...

Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 12/18/2003 01:30 PM EST

How is it that Cap'n Crunch is a "Catholic pirate" as you describe him? I've always assumed he was a Royal Navy officer.

Chestnuts roasted by William @ 07/07/2004 03:21 PM EST