REPLIES: 96 comments
This makes me horny.
Chestnuts roasted by Wet Gina @ 12/02/2003 04:58 AM EST
I'm here for you.
Chestnuts roasted by Cooper @ 12/02/2003 05:01 AM EST
whoa third comment
this makes you horny... wow.. i uh.. think i got a santa suit somewhere... why don't you come over?
Chestnuts roasted by it's karl byotch @ 12/02/2003 05:17 AM EST
I remember seeing these; specifically, one from the San Diego area. Depending on the season, you could call Freddy Pumpkin(?), Santa Claus, or the Easter Bunny, at 1-900-976-2233. The commercial I saw actually told you what the free gift was for calling; he called it a "Wuppy", or a "Whoopee" or a "Wookie" or something like that, but what it was was one of those sticky-footed pompoms with the wiggly eyes and antennae, the ones that usually have a little flag that says "World's Greatest Dental Assistant" or something. I remember being delighted by the knowledge of what those puffy things were called, despite the fact that they didn't enunciate the name clearly enough to actually know what it was called. We'll call it a "Woopy"
Anyway, I called the Easter Bunny... and he talked so fast he lost me. That's kind of counterintuitive.
Chestnuts roasted by G'Tron @ 12/02/2003 05:26 AM EST
Almost forgot: the Bunny also explained that, by calling the number, you'd be entered in a contest to win a GIANT Woopy! Score!
Chestnuts roasted by G'Tron @ 12/02/2003 05:28 AM EST
Wow, that's weird. When I made the "Santa eraser gift" joke, I actually wanted to use one of those pom-pom puffy figure/sticker things for the example, but couldn't think of a good name for them. :)
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/02/2003 05:29 AM EST
After a few Google searches, it appears the most common name for them is "warm fuzzies." I still like Woopy better, though.
Those things have always seemed quintessentially Eighties to me... although, now that I think of it, their artsy-craftsy nature points to their being a holdover from the seventies. Anyone remember enough of the 70s to remember the first time you saw one?
Chestnuts roasted by G'Tron @ 12/02/2003 05:38 AM EST
In New Zealand we have a free Santa line, friends and I used to always prank (crank) call it... ok ok we still do, anyway, the best I remember was probably ringing up, speaking with a middle easten accent and asking Santa to deliver the necessarly components of a nuclear bomb.
ah memories...
Chestnuts roasted by Lossenelin @ 12/02/2003 06:36 AM EST
When I was young, we couldn't afford a TV so I missed all this stuff first time around, hearing about only in whispered conversations between the cool kids. *sigh* Thanks for bringing back old commercials, Matt. They fill a gaping hole in my childhood. You are my hero.
Chestnuts roasted by Betrayer @ 12/02/2003 07:26 AM EST
Oh man, I remember those ads. Nothing like pimpin the holidays via a 900 number to get folks into the holiday spirit.
Chestnuts roasted by marv @ 12/02/2003 08:38 AM EST
so many santa impersinators around.great article.
Chestnuts roasted by Romo @ 12/02/2003 09:43 AM EST
I remember calling one of those ads, calling up sans parent's permission, and after figuring out that I was talking to a Fred Penner tape without the fun, promptly hung up (around 30 seconds in) and proceeded to cry until I was distracted by something else, more than likely a hot, sexy Rat King episode.
Chestnuts roasted by fistall @ 12/02/2003 11:55 AM EST
I definitely remember the first ad, but with an even more evil tactic--the happy little song that kids can't get out of their head. The song was just a perverted version of Jingle Bells: "1-900-9-0-9-4-3-0-0, call Santa's phone, call Santa's phone, and we'll sing Christmas songs!" My 19-year-old sister and I were just talking about these horrible commercials a few weeks ago--after so much time, we still had the number memorized because of that stupid song. I'm off to create my own tune to brainwash kids.
Chestnuts roasted by izair @ 12/02/2003 12:09 PM EST
I used to think that the Pope was the anti-christ... but now I'm pretty sure that it's rapping santa...
Chestnuts roasted by Doc @ 12/02/2003 01:00 PM EST
DJ Jazzy Jeff. To this day I still can't get that stupid number out of my skull. Never dialed it, but I still have 'One Nine Hundred Nine Zero Nine JEFF' zipping around along with the local pizza restaurant's number from their insipid commercials.
Now I want a pizza...
Chestnuts roasted by Robert @ 12/02/2003 01:09 PM EST
I remember the one where Santa and the kids sang...the fucker stuck in my head and still is: "What do you do when Christmas is coming?" "Gotta call Santa gotta call Santa!" agh.
Chestnuts roasted by Nemesis @ 12/02/2003 01:25 PM EST
Yo like shizzle to the dizzle my Santafizzle. For tizzle da vizzle hizzle sizzle mizzle pakavizzle. For lizzle the dizzle of pizzle my mizzle.
Chestnuts roasted by Bubba Fresh @ 12/02/2003 01:27 PM EST
+2 to Gina for not saying "WHOO first post". -2 for getting aroused by Santa.
Oh yeah, this isn't ubersite...
Chestnuts roasted by jjgoreha @ 12/02/2003 01:40 PM EST
You guys must really lax morals in your parts of the country, or many stupid people. I've never seen those commercials.
Why is santa grabbing his crotch in that picture?
Chestnuts roasted by cnbvn v @ 12/02/2003 01:44 PM EST
Never saw the santa line advertised here in Canada, but we did have something kind of similar. In decemeber there was a show that ran on YTV called "Santa Calls" where kids could phone in and talk to Santa. It was live, and the call was a free local call for those in the Toronto area, everyone else had to pay LD. I don't remember if there was an 800 number as well, I don't think so. Anyway, certainly higher quality than the 900 line, kids got to talk to Santa live on TV. Quality, thy name is Canadian Cable Television
Chestnuts roasted by Pagz @ 12/02/2003 02:33 PM EST
Obvious this is totally mistaken.
First of all Lord of the Rings sucks and the same with transformers and gi joe. i am from the 70's and 80's stuff sucks.
alright enough about me, what's your story?
Chestnuts roasted by R Hunter @ 12/02/2003 02:57 PM EST
Word.
thanks Matt, I'm filled with christmas cheer because of X-E, even though we still have a holiday to go before christmas here in Holland. It's called sinterklaas... On the 5th of december he brings presents. Not exactly sure how, I think at one time he came in through the chimney and hid the packages or something (we open them in the evening) , but later on he just left em on our doorstep after giving everyone a heart attack by knocking on the window... really unexpected... really hard. Pretty much the only difference between santa and sinterklaas is that our guy rides a horse...and is flanked by numerous 'black Petes'. Seriously, black Pete is a pretty accurate translation. Imagine how surprised I was when I saw that last commercial: Santa's got black Petes too! Although, technically, our Petes are black cause of all the soot in the chimneys. And they don't rap.
Anyway, thanks again Matt, we're not doing anything for sinterklaas but my mom refuses to buy a tree until it's over, and the advent calendar is probably the next best thing to a tree for me. Being European and 17 and all the nostalgic part of this place is kinda lost on me (pretty weird considering you call X-E a nostalgia site... Compliments to your writing skills I guess) although I did like the turtles, but the calendar brings back a lot of memories , and the site layout is fantastic as well, so kudos to you (and the cats), and happy holidays to everyone!
Chestnuts roasted by David @ 12/02/2003 03:08 PM EST
Argh, I totally remember the "We'll sing Christmas songs" commercial that Izair is talking about! "It's Santa's Christmas party! / Join us everyone! / Call my happy number now (?) / And we'll sing Christmas songs!!!"
There was a similar song and commercial for an "Easter Bunny Party" too. Man, now I have to bang my head against the desk.
Anyway, Happy Holidays to everyone at X-E!
Chestnuts roasted by LaGremlin @ 12/02/2003 03:25 PM EST
"When I was young, we couldn't afford a TV so I missed all this stuff first time around, hearing about only in whispered conversations between the cool kids. *sigh* Thanks for bringing back old commercials, Matt. They fill a gaping hole in my childhood. You are my hero. "
My story is similar, but not quite so deprived. Our TV broke and we couldn't generate enough cash to have it fixed for about a year. I have the feeling I missed out on a lot during that time. I sure never heard anything about Jazzy Jeff's 900 line . . . .
Chestnuts roasted by rob @ 12/02/2003 03:31 PM EST
I thought I had put all the evil Santas out of my memory. I remember seeing this one and the Haloween one someone mentioned. My brother had Brittish Knight sneakers. I really remember that-he bought them to be cooler. It didn't help.
If memory serves, my brother was also the one who always got busted for calling dumb 900 lines.
I'm glad I didn't get turned on by either Santa but I did feel nervous when the first Santa was talking so damn slow. Hurry the F*** up , Santa!
Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 12/02/2003 03:40 PM EST
hahaha great commercials! The rap number is now burned into my head too! 1-900-909-raps. word to your mother. claus in the house.
Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 12/02/2003 03:53 PM EST
Anyone willing to call the number to see if it's still around?
Chestnuts roasted by CCC @ 12/02/2003 04:07 PM EST
I called my fair share of those 900 and 976 numbers. The first one I ever called was called The Easter Bunny's party and it had a song that went along with it "It's the easter bunny's party come on and everyone we'll find the eggs the bunny hid and have a lot of fun!" That was an old school number because it was a 976 one. My mom still sings the song to this day. She really likes it. When I was a little older and the numbers changed to 900 my dad was watching me and I convinced him to let me call the Care Bears. It sucked beacuse they put me on hold and then they were giving me craft instructions. My mom was pissed when she got home and found out he let me call. I do remember the she-ra/he-man you wrote about before. And there was also a Woody Woodpecker one where he told dinosaur stories. I always wanted to call that one. I always wanted one of those wolly things. I remember when I was in kindergarden someone had made it those for "owl day" I was happy cause I thought "I didn't even have to call a 900 number to get this!"
Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 12/02/2003 04:09 PM EST
Wow I only wish I had the chance to see those ads when I was young and beg mom and dad to get hosed. What could Santa's Hip Hop Holiday message be!? I wonder if there is anywhere to get tapes of what those lines said ... I would give them as christmas gifts
Chestnuts roasted by sal paradise @ 12/02/2003 04:30 PM EST
I forgot to add one more thing. That ad with that "generic" evil santa(not the rapping one) looks like they decorated the set with my aunt's christmas lawn setup. Every time I see those giant red candles I think of that ad. Matt what year were those ads circa?
Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 12/02/2003 04:57 PM EST
These ads ran during the Super Mario Super Show -- the ones with Cap'n Lou. That would only give them a window of a few possible years, I think sometime between '89 and '91 considering the other coms on the tape.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/02/2003 05:09 PM EST
Matt, like the new calendar, but what happened to finishing the 1st?
Chestnuts roasted by TOP1214 @ 12/02/2003 05:27 PM EST
Well, we've got two weeks or so to worry about that. :) I think I've still got the pics, and if I do, I will make good on it.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/02/2003 05:29 PM EST
C'mon Matt, if you post the pics with a little story behind them, I will ask Santa to bring you a carton of cigs and a bottle of bourbon.
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 12/02/2003 05:38 PM EST
I'll figure out something, don't worry. :) They'll be a conclusion to the Mare Chronicles one way or another.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/02/2003 05:40 PM EST
I like it at the end of the commercial when the action freezes... you can almost imagine the camera zooming in and Santa's eyes going red. Then demonic laughter fills the speakers.
Either that, or have George Fenneman do a voice-over: "Santa was given 10 years for fraud. His reindeers were put in a state insitution. Mrs. Claus filed for divorce..." yadda yadda yadda
Chestnuts roasted by AlphaCentaurian @ 12/02/2003 05:56 PM EST
I remember my liitle brother calling all those 900 number stuff. I don't think it was for this one,becuase he did his buisness in the summer of '87 or '88,I think. My parents were pissed when they got the phone bill,to say the least. His favorite one to call was for a spooky story/haunted house thing. I don't think you have commercials for any of that stuff laying around,do you Matt?
Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 12/02/2003 06:27 PM EST
I remember on a 1985 episode of "Moonlighting" the B-Story concerned how sleazy it was that Bruce Willis's character was running a 1-900 call Santa out of the detective agency. It was unimaginable then (I think there were 1-800 Santa lines and/or the ones New York Telephone used to run that were a 10 cent call to the five burrows), and then two years later...they pop up in real life. Come to think of it..it was just about the same time that infomercials popped up - Coincidence? I wonder.......
Chestnuts roasted by Garrison @ 12/02/2003 06:32 PM EST
"Yea! First post for the day 2 advent calender! (I'm assuming Matt just put it up since it wasn't there a minute ago. :) )
Yea for 7-up and Goldfish!
Chestnuts roasted by Garrison @ 12/02/2003 06:56 PM EST
Hi
Love your site. Just found it today and was amazed
at how many obscure pop culture gems I'd forgotten
about. My name is Steve and Im 27 yrs old. The
reason I'm writing you is because I thought maybe you
could help me with something that has been driving me
crazy for years.
When I was just a boy (early 80s)there were many
cartoons I watched religiously on Saturday mornings,
but there was this one in particular which I cannot
remember the name of nor can I find any info on the
net or other evidence that it existed.
It featured a team of robots. All of them had
diffrent characteristics. There was the strong man
robot, 2 (I think) female robots, and the one I
remember best could transform into anything and was a
nervous wreck and a coward. Please tell me you
remember or have heard of something similiar. I may
have some details wrong. It must have not ran for very
long. Its driving me insane!! Please help.
Thanks
SPC
great work with the site. I'll be exploring it
further in the future.
Chestnuts roasted by Steve @ 12/02/2003 07:10 PM EST
The above message was copied and pasted from an email I sent Matt. Thats why it might read kinda funny....
If any one knows the name of the afformentioned cartoon I'll dance and chant and send good vibes your way if you could post it. I think it was on around the same time as the "Droids/ewoks" Star Wars cartoons.
anyone....?
Chestnuts roasted by Steve @ 12/02/2003 07:21 PM EST
on another note: The vending machine in the caffateria here at work now features "Big AZ" burgers. Microwave hamburger (Im assuming that its beef), and you can now buy genetically enhanced Glow in the dark Goldfish.
Chestnuts roasted by steve @ 12/02/2003 07:26 PM EST
Just curious, when was the last time any of you saw a commercial for a 1-900 line? Someone had to be making money off those (hell, we all remember the jingles, and they were a pop culture event), so where did they go? Did the FTC or the FCC outlaw them?
Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 12/02/2003 07:50 PM EST
I was sure that the internet chat programs had put an end to the 1-900 Chat lines of the late 80s, early 90s, but I saw an ad for a new one about five months ago in the NJ/NY/Conn area.
Chestnuts roasted by Garrison @ 12/02/2003 07:55 PM EST
I remember this from when this came out. I still remember the damn number. It had kids singing, Dial 1900! 909! 4300! Call Santa now! Call Santa Now! And We'll sing christmas songs!
Anybody else remember the Halloween verson, Freddy Pumpkin and the EasterBunny?
I remember the easterbunny one coming on AFTER Easter, so he could say all the fun adventures he had that year.
I'm so glad they arrested what was left of these people trying to get money out of little kids.
Chestnuts roasted by (ectocooler) Nick @ 12/02/2003 08:16 PM EST
Gods, I miss the Ewoks/Droids cartoons... wouldn't mind a gander at those again... any chance of a dual-feature DVD of those?
Chestnuts roasted by AlphaCentaurian @ 12/02/2003 09:26 PM EST
Oh my fucking God. When I first saw the picture for it, I thought it was some kind of santa sex hotline...I was like, dude, I gotta call this. Not because it gets me all hot and bothered, I just wanted to hear how stupid it was. And then I read about it, and I was like, SHIT!!!! That's just not right!
Chestnuts roasted by It's Tina, ya know, Amy Lee's bitch @ 12/02/2003 09:47 PM EST
Heyyyyyyy, I just got done reading all the comments for it. And I don't think I'm right. I've never seen any of those commercials. Uhhhhh, what does that mean?
Chestnuts roasted by It's Tina, ya know, Amy Lee's bitch @ 12/02/2003 09:58 PM EST
Since today's secret word is "Santa", I feel the urge to tell tell the world a little story about a Santa I met today. The setting is a local Goodwill store - you know the type: dark, seedy, with a faint aroma of grape gum and old lady clothes. Well, buried deep in the back (in the kiddie toy section no less) was the most down and out Santa doll I have ever seen. It seems Santa has gotten awfully desperate in 2003. You see, this Santa doll was a STRIPPING SANTA DOLL! I s*** you not. This Santa would actually take off his clothes when you put money in his plastic little hand. And he would dance too! I couldn't bear the thought. All those Santa memories were crumbling before my eyes. It was like seeing drunk Superman in Superman 4. Yes, this poor Santa was truly down on his luck. But I still couldn't resist a peek inside the box. As I lifted the wrinkled cardboard lid, one glimpse of a pasty white Santa wearing only his Christmas boxers was all I had to see before I truly felt the spirit of Christmas bitch slapping me in the face. I had to go, and I left without him! Upon reflection, this poor Santa has been gnawing away at my heart all evening. What do you think, should I go rescue him? Or should I leave him to wallow in his debauchery?
Chestnuts roasted by Giraffe @ 12/02/2003 10:08 PM EST
Hmm... I'm surprised no one here mentioned the most infamous Santa 1-900 commercial of all, the one wherein he told kids to put the telephone receiver up to the screen and they'd magically be able to talk to Santa *without dialing*, since the tones for the phone number were hidden in the music.
Also, I remember the Hallowe'en commercial, and I always thought the term was "free Wuffie". My brother and I called half the creatures in Sega Master System videogames "free Wuffies" because of that commercial.
Finally, Steve, well, "other Steve", people have asked me pretty much the same question before, and, 90% of the time, the cartoon they're thinking of is Bots Master, which I think was a Japanese/French co-production. Well, not that you were asking me specifically, but I have been asked about that show before, believe it or not.
Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 12/02/2003 10:55 PM EST
Had no idea the Santa Rap commercial existed, but I remember the other one, and several similar spots, all too well. We never called Santa. I don't remember why. Mom may have forbidden us. She was probably right, but it would have been interesting to hear just how stupid it was.
Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 12/02/2003 11:46 PM EST
As some mentioned above, I remember a different Santa commercial which is far worse than the one on this site. It had this song that went "what do you do when Christmas is coming, gotta call Santa, gotta call Santa gotta call Santa's Christmas phone." Then it had the children repeating the line, a few times so whomever was watching definitely remembered the number.
This brings back a swarm of memories of commercials for 900 numberes? Does anyone remember the "tune of the day," where they would tell kids that if they could "correctly identify the tune of the day," they would get a "special prize." They then proceeded to play yankee doodle.
There was another one for "Freddie's Fright Line," with this grandmother torturing this kid telling him "What are you doing watching that garbage, you should be doing your homework." The kid then goes and calls Freddie Kruger....
Chestnuts roasted by Magic_Amethyst80 @ 12/03/2003 12:02 AM EST
Don't forget, if you want to get a letter from "Santa Claus" (or one of his very special representatives), there is no need to call hucksters with 1-900 numbers. Canada Post handles the "official" mail to Santa, and his team of "elves" send personal replies to everyone.
The address is:
SANTA CLAUS
NORTH POLE
H0H 0H0
CANADA
Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 12/03/2003 12:28 AM EST
Hey Steve, the show you're talking about is called "Mighty Orbots." I don't know what the Japanese title is, but there's certainly a few Orbots websites out there, which ought to help your memory.
Chestnuts roasted by G'Tron @ 12/03/2003 01:50 AM EST
i was one of the stupid kids who called those numbers all through childhood.
they had some that had a serialized story that was told over the course of a few days/weeks, so that you had to keep calling back to get more of the shitty story. when i was a kid, i loved it. of course, this was before the internet, and before i really used the phone for anyything, so there was a novelty to calling up and hearing these shitty recordings...
kids today don't have such low expectations...
Chestnuts roasted by Eternal Darkness @ 12/03/2003 01:53 AM EST
Oh, after looking at the evidence, I concur with G'Tron, that it probably is The Mighty Orbots then. While I watched Bots Masters occasionally on YTV, I'm afraid I don't think I've ever seen The Mighty Orbots.
I was stumped and now I feel shame.:'(
Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 12/03/2003 02:02 AM EST
Look at the still of Santa's eyes. He's demented. He's staring right through me...ordering me...to dial 900 number without parents' permission...and stay on the line...for...42 minutes and 17 seconds...help..can't control...own...thoughts...Sants...taking...over...AAAARGH!!!!...Ho Ho Ho!!! Dial my number and we can sing wonderful songs and celebrate Christmas all year long. Give me your credit card numbers! Ho Ho Ho!!!
Chestnuts roasted by Tuff Daddy Cool @ 12/03/2003 02:14 AM EST
I don't remember ever calling a Santa line as a kid, but I do remember bugging the hell out of my mom to call the Knight Rider hotline. On one of the last seasons of Kinght Rider, they did a bunch of upgrades to KITT and you could call a 900 number to hear KITT tell you personall all the new stuff he could do. Yep. Must have been 85 or 86...I can't believe I remember that...
Chestnuts roasted by Garner @ 12/03/2003 02:17 AM EST
I think the only one I ever called was along the lines of the KITT one, but it was for one of the "Star Trek" movies...probably ether ST4 or ST5. As I recall I think it was Nichell Nichols (Uhura) talking and I think the "prize" was an 'official' poster from the movie.
Chestnuts roasted by Garrison @ 12/03/2003 02:40 AM EST
Garner, you're absolutely correct about the Knight Rider line. I've got the commercial somewhere. KITT really knew how to make the hard sell.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/03/2003 02:49 AM EST
I remember the night rider line too I was like 2 when I saw it. Where I live they still have adult 900 lines to call hot girls or girls under 18 and they have this one in the los angeles area 976-wake it's some type of wake up service. They show ads for it at like 4 in the morning I saw one 2 months ago.
Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 12/03/2003 03:07 AM EST
They have that 976-WAKE commercial in the NY area too...when I used to watch the overnight news show "World News Now" they had basicly three commercials -- Olvoltene Chocolate Powder, Gold Bond Foot Powder, and 976-WAKE.
Now I have the WNN theme stuck in my head...
"It's late at night, you're wide awake, and you're not wearing pants/ So grab your World News Now Mug and everybody dance!/ Hey!/ Five whole days every week/We're here with our tougues in cheek/Do the World News Polka!"
I..guess you had to be there.
Chestnuts roasted by Garrison @ 12/03/2003 03:51 AM EST
Hah, as a Yorker, I certainly remember 976-WAKE. Depressingly enough, I remember a time many years back when I didn't have a lot of friends and considered calling the line just to guarantee myself a phone call.
Shut up, I was a kid.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/03/2003 03:54 AM EST
Magic Amythyst, as I was reading these posts, all I could think was,"gotta mention Freddy's Fright line" I called that thing till I, or more correctally my mother, owed 200 dollars. I loved that thing, I thought it was scary as shit and was beggining to think I imagened it. Wish I could get a tape of that for christmas.
Chestnuts roasted by spooky @ 12/03/2003 04:32 AM EST
I have a Freddy's Fright Line commercial...will try to post this week
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 12/03/2003 04:36 AM EST
Matt do you have that easter bunny line commerical?
Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 12/03/2003 04:42 AM EST
2003 has definatly showed me the lost nostaglia of my youth. And for this site, i thank you concidering i found it on accident searching for Garfield and Friends episodes back in April =P
Anyway, im 22 and believe or not, i was a gullable enough to call that number when my parents werent home. I didnt even need to play the movie clip to recall the that jingle, cause it still haunts after my dad recievd the phonebill that day. Still gives me the willies.
I must comment on the pop culture icons you choose and providing commercials at that. I felt like a total geek, since i love watching old commercials. My favs are the 80's McDonalds and nitnendo. Ive seen other 80s/90s retro sites that try to emulate this one, but it doesnt convey the humor and cynicism of X-E. Rock on dude, and ill continue to probe through this site in the next year!
Chestnuts roasted by johnhughesending @ 12/03/2003 09:42 AM EST
Mighty Orbots!!!!!!!!
Now I'm not really a religious man but.........Praise God! Thank you soooo much. I knew it! I fucking knew it! Thats amazing how something can just get lost in your mind to the point where your not even sure if it was real. Maybe its the drugs?
Thanks be to G'Tron and Steve Brandon. This site is my new home.....now Im gonna go read up on Orbots. Holy shit, I totally forgot they joined to make a Voltron-esque big Orbot!
Chestnuts roasted by Steve @ 12/03/2003 11:24 AM EST
Wobbles, G'Tron. I'm almost positive that they were called wobbles. Public school trauma #33489674030 were the wobbles. At best I had 2 on my desk, while everyone else had at least 689. What a joke. It was such a cheap piece of shit. The secretary would come in the class and present them to the kids that sold the most whatever it was we had to sell. And they got to feel all special and shit, when I got none cuz my parents wouldn't help me sell that garbage.
Chestnuts roasted by Tracy Turnblad @ 12/03/2003 12:43 PM EST
Anyone else realize the worst part of those Santa 900 lines?
If they promised a free letter and a free gift... that means some innocent little kid would be giving out his home address to "Santa" in order to obtain said items. In which "Santa" is probably a huge telemarketing corperation, which then sells your name and address to someone else.
Santa is $%&@*'! evil.
Chestnuts roasted by Scelestus Unus @ 12/03/2003 02:39 PM EST
I remember calling 1-900-909-FREAK to talk to a stupid dancing character called "Freddy Freaker" who did a dance called... you won't believe this... the Freak! Seriously. It was some recorded moron telling really bad jokes.
Chestnuts roasted by Hope @ 12/03/2003 04:00 PM EST
Hey, great, sad-but-true videos, loved them. Just an FYI, Matt, the "content title" of both of the commercials is still set to "Macy's Parade, 1985"... In case, you know, you wanted perfection and accuracy. :)
Chestnuts roasted by MaxWattage @ 12/03/2003 06:34 PM EST
If I remember correctly there was a 976-Santa thing that you could call, It was on Mendocino County California TV. It was crud from what i heard. a friend of mine called there, and i tried to call there, but it was always busy there. He said that some "elf", or "helper" talked to him and sounded loaded, to be put on hold for 10 minutes and then hung up.
fun fun fun. Oh and there was some bad singing if you needed it too.
Chestnuts roasted by obelisk @ 12/03/2003 08:58 PM EST
Now this brings back (bad) memories...
I just tried calling both numbers and neither work anymore, at least from up here in Canada. That's a shame, it would have definatly been worth the extra couple of bucks on my phone bill.
I thought I was the only person that still remembers that YTV Santa line. I remember watching it as a kid and being tempted to give him a call. I never did, though, after being yelled at for calling a 1-900 prize line. $40 phone call, $10 prize.
Chestnuts roasted by BulletRiddled @ 12/04/2003 01:18 AM EST
For Canadians bringing up Santa Calls on YTV, did you know that, for the first two or three years of Santa Calls, Santa himself was portrayed by none other than Les Lye, a.k.a. "Ross Ewich", Barth, Senator** Lance Prevert, and pretty much every other adult male character on You Can't Do That On Television? At least... unless my memory's very screwy, but I'm sure I read it in an article about Santa Calls the first year YTV did it (either 1989 or 1990). But I can't find any confirmation of this on the web...
**For anyone that's ever wondered, the character Lance Prevert (the slobby father) was a "senator" as in Canadian senators, whom are appointed for life by whichever party was in power at the time which they were appointed and whom are fairly useless and ceremonial, just rubber stamping things. They're not elected nor do they have to worry about re-election, so, for the most part, they aren't terribly proactive about things.
Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 12/04/2003 04:23 AM EST
Those 900 numbers had to be horrible. What were they thinking? I vaguely remember those numbers but I also remember the ones in the 90s that came out for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies and Terminator 2. They really milked these phone lines for everything they're worth.
Chestnuts roasted by Bert Raccoon @ 12/04/2003 03:56 PM EST
Wow...I remember getting into soooooo much crap over those 900 lines...And thanks for bringing back up the "Freddy Fright Line", between that and one from "Critters 2" - I'm lucky I survived my childhood.
Weren't there also "Spider-Man" and "Terminator" ones as well? Where you had to answer questions via the touchtone to win "incredible" prizes?
Chestnuts roasted by Karmic Crimewave @ 12/04/2003 04:01 PM EST
I remember only one 900 Santa ad, the one here on X-E might and might not be that same one. I'll probably d/l the ad eventually when I'm super bored---cool o' ya to put it up Matt but I've only got so much HD space what with all the vid'yuh games & MP3s & such.
All I remember about the ad I saw was there was the offer of a letter/gift, and (I remember this line verbatim, could quote it back with the same inflections & everything) you'd wind up talking to either "Mrs. Claus, OR Santa HIMSELF!! HO-HO-HOOOO!!!"...how weak would that shit be if you called up there & not only got some crappy recording, but instead of some drunken weirdo pretending to be Santa, it'd be of somebody pretending to be his wife..? I'm all for equality and all that, but respectfully, what the hell would Santa's wife have to say to you?
Surprisingly, I have no memory of the Rappin' Santa one, and if that dude showed up here in Detroit, he'd be hailed as a god.
The Santa Line was definitely one of the major fixtures in the Golden Age Of Non-Pornographic 900 Numbers of the late 1980s. I remember ones where you could call Tiffany, Freddy Krueger, and the representative of every major holiday. Some of 'em just straight-up made no goddamn sense at all: I remember one they used to show on MTV all the time for Freddy Freaker, who was represented by this crappy little pink rubber monster who "danced" around on the screen (obviously moved around by unseen hands) while a guy sorta sang/sorta rapped about how you should "Join the party, the fast & easy way, he'll tell you what's jammin' from New York to L.A., call 1-900-490-FREAK!!!" (they yelled that last part at you about five times over the space of the ad & even now it sticks in my head in some brainspace compartment that could've been occupied with info that could've gotten me into a really good college or laid or both. That particular ad was totally mystifying in that neither me or any of my friends who saw it could find any reason whatsoever to call it.
Chestnuts roasted by Jon @ 12/04/2003 04:12 PM EST
Giraffe: run! Run as fast as you can from stripping Santa. He's the anti-Santa, from "the other place" where all the coal is set on fire. Save your soul! RUN!
Does anyone else's cable access channel have a Santa call-in show? Mine does that every year. It's certainly better than a 900 number. At least one of the local radio stations does or used to have a "visit" from Santa and kids could call in to tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas.
The only 900# I ever wanted to call, but never did, were the ones where you actually got to play an online adventure on the phone. Marvel used to advertise one of those in their comics.
Chestnuts roasted by ShadowWing the Technorganic Reindeer @ 12/05/2003 10:25 PM EST
I actually find myself missing all those 900 number commercials.
My absolute favortie was on that ran in the early ninties for something like 900 free love than in small print it said 3.95 a minute lol.
Chestnuts roasted by human_error @ 12/06/2003 04:45 PM EST
Actually Jon, if it was the young and voluptuous interpretation of Mrs. Claus, then maybe...
My grandma worked at a post office, and she never gave me a straight answer as to what they REALLY do with letters to Santa.
Only 900 number I ever called: The Gamepro hotline. All I really got out of it was how to access Back to the Future III on Back to the Future II & III for NES.
Chestnuts roasted by Rewolf J @ 12/07/2003 04:26 PM EST
I called the Vanilla Ice 900 number...i think it sucked, and it cost 20 bucks.
Chestnuts roasted by Monoxide @ 12/08/2003 04:02 PM EST
I remember the Santa 1-900 number!
I was one of those stupid kids that called it.
I asked my grandmother (who looked after me) every day if I could call Santa (like the commercial said to!) but the only problem was my grandmother had never seen the commercial, so "Can I go call Santa now?" sounded like some insane thing an only child with a hyperactive imagination (me) would say for no real reason.
In conclusion, I spent a lot of money on this stupid line, and had to deal with my mom's "Why did you call this Santa line like twice a day and run up my phone bill" speech at the end of December.
*Sigh*
Chestnuts roasted by Rick @ 12/13/2003 12:41 AM EST
I googled the 1-900-909-4300 number. Al I got was a message from an email about a virus update or something. Pretty lame. You can see it at http://www.ieee.umn.edu/pipermail/jobfair/2003-August/000079.html if you really care. Du rien.
Chestnuts roasted by gargantuan_malignant_balloon @ 12/16/2003 08:21 PM EST
I totally remember that fucking number. I was truly amazed to see a site that had a whole page set aside for it. That song is now stuck in my head again. I couldn't believe I remembered that number. It's totally just burned in my skull.
Chestnuts roasted by C @ 01/16/2004 03:47 PM EST
DID YOU KNOW IF YOU HUNG UP WHILE THE CALL IS GOING ON IT WOULD CALL YOU BACK 15 OR 30 MINS LATER AND START WHERE YOU HUNG UP BOY THEY WANTED TO MAKE SOME MONEY. AND DID YOU KNOW POPEYE HAD A HOTLINE LIKE THIS TO. AND ALSO THE NUMBER THEY USED WAS USED FOR OTHER HOLIDAY TO
Chestnuts roasted by FC4 @ 01/25/2004 01:21 AM EST
DID YOU KNOW IF YOU HUNG UP WHILE THE CALL IS GOING ON IT WOULD CALL YOU BACK 15 OR 30 MINS LATER AND START WHERE YOU HUNG UP BOY THEY WANTED TO MAKE SOME MONEY. AND DID YOU KNOW POPEYE HAD A HOTLINE LIKE THIS TO. AND ALSO THE NUMBER THEY USED WAS USED FOR OTHER HOLIDAY TO
Chestnuts roasted by FC4 @ 01/25/2004 01:21 AM EST
DID YOU KNOW IF YOU HUNG UP WHILE THE CALL IS GOING ON IT WOULD CALL YOU BACK 15 OR 30 MINS LATER AND START WHERE YOU HUNG UP BOY THEY WANTED TO MAKE SOME MONEY. AND DID YOU KNOW POPEYE HAD A HOTLINE LIKE THIS TO. AND ALSO THE NUMBER THEY USED WAS USED FOR OTHER HOLIDAY TO
Chestnuts roasted by FC4 @ 01/25/2004 01:22 AM EST
DID YOU KNOW IF YOU HUNG UP WHILE THE CALL IS GOING ON IT WOULD CALL YOU BACK 15 OR 30 MINS LATER AND START WHERE YOU HUNG UP BOY THEY WANTED TO MAKE SOME MONEY. AND DID YOU KNOW POPEYE HAD A HOTLINE LIKE THIS TO. AND ALSO THE NUMBER THEY USED WAS USED FOR OTHER HOLIDAY TO
Chestnuts roasted by FC4 @ 01/25/2004 01:22 AM EST
DID YOU KNOW IF YOU HUNG UP WHILE THE CALL IS GOING ON IT WOULD CALL YOU BACK 15 OR 30 MINS LATER AND START WHERE YOU HUNG UP BOY THEY WANTED TO MAKE SOME MONEY. AND DID YOU KNOW POPEYE HAD A HOTLINE LIKE THIS TO. AND ALSO THE NUMBER THEY USED WAS USED FOR OTHER HOLIDAY TO
Chestnuts roasted by FC4 @ 01/25/2004 01:22 AM EST
SORRY ABOUT ALL THAT MY MOUSE WAS ACTING CRAZY
Chestnuts roasted by FC4 @ 01/25/2004 01:26 AM EST
"Santa's got the word..." "...word!" was a popular catchphrase in my house for a while. My brothers and I would stop beating each other up just long enough to chant it loudly, then resume the beatings as normal.
We never did end up calling the 900 numbers, cause we knew they cost money, but we did discover that if you dialed 1-800 and then three random digits and then a favorite four-letter word like FUCK or BABE, you'd invariably get a phone sex line. And if you were really lucky, said line would have a prerecorded greeting from a sexy lady voice telling us how much it cost and "how much fun I have talking with all my sexy friends!"
For some reason listening to the greeting alone provided far more illicit thrills than scheming to get one of Dad's credit cards and actually try our luck with a real live lady and all her sexy friends.
Chestnuts roasted by Spatch @ 01/27/2004 03:09 AM EST
God, I remember this crap.....
just before I moved from Va. Beach to bumfuck Ohio, I was staying at my Cousin's house......everything was packed up, and we were making the trip from Va. to Oh. the next morning.....
I didn't realize that the numbers called appeared on a phone bill at that time (I was nine) and figuring, hey, I'm leaving the state and never coming back, I'll call this on my Cousin's phone.....
a few weeks later we get a long distance call from Virginia....
"The night you left, somebody ran up 700 dollars on a 900 number"
uhh.......sorry....
anyway, that cousin (he was a cousin only through marriage) was an ass.....and deserved it......besides, MY 900 number wasn't the only one on the bill....
he had one for some prostitute named "Gemini" or something on there too........
Chestnuts roasted by Tai @ 02/16/2004 03:12 PM EST
The number I called, btw, was 1-900-909-1234
Chestnuts roasted by Tai @ 02/16/2004 03:14 PM EST
Those fuzzy things are called weepuls (yes, that is the correct spelling.)
You can order them off the net, with customized tags. Who doesn't want a "Fuck the po-lice" weepul?
Chestnuts roasted by pope @ 03/19/2004 01:40 AM EST
"Who doesn't want a "Fuck the po-lice" weepul?"
Damn that's funny!
I didn't even know they existed.
I SOOO want one, and so does everyone on my damn block...
I have found my new purpose in life!
yes I have no life...
Chestnuts roasted by Suck My Kiss @ 03/21/2004 11:13 AM EST
I really wasn't expecting to put up a regular article for at least a few days while the 
