Oh, for those curious as to whether anything that went on during the '85 and '86 Macy's Parades could hold a candle to the Scooby Doo Float or the Joey Lawrence dream sequence found in the '84 edition, here's something Goggles Pizano sent on in. It's a poster he's kept for all of these years, promoting one of the special floats we'll be taking a look at in the next review...
Wait till you see how it looked in real life, my friends. Roll those drums and shit. By the way, we finally took out of Christmas decorations. I say "finally" because I usually start doing that by late October. My God, we have the ugliest decorations in the world. Santa Clauses of all races, broken ceramic snowmen, and even a few old tree toppers that look alarmingly like Satanic pentagrams. I'll try to take some pics tomorrow.
REPLIES: 70 comments
1 st post?
Chestnuts roasted by Lone Wolf @ 11/25/2003 01:58 AM EST
Woo 2nd post my closest ever!
Chestnuts roasted by Lossenelin @ 11/25/2003 02:36 AM EST
3rd is my closest!
Chestnuts roasted by jjaynah @ 11/25/2003 02:37 AM EST
The question is what kind of jelly to put on your peanut butter. Maybe that's where the company of Superman peanut butter went wrong. You can't just put any jelly with Superman, and peanut butter alone is crap, therefore no one could eat it. mmmmmmmmmmmm.....eat it!
Chestnuts roasted by Mark @ 11/25/2003 02:42 AM EST
The only thing that would've been better would be Chunky Superman Peanut Butter, complete with a chunky Superman on the label.
I'm still just very impressed that none of those twenty year old foods you’ve reviewed have jumped out of their ancient coffins and attacked you yet, Matt. I’ve seen five-year-old cans of Simpsons Spagettios on the shelf that tried everything to get me to purchase them, but their negotiation skills were weak.
Chestnuts roasted by Lord Andy @ 11/25/2003 02:58 AM EST
I guess the 'if Superman uses it, it must be healthful' principle was the reason Marboro so heavily advertised in "Superman II"
Isn't there a scene in "Superman III" in which Richard Pryor is seen eating Superman peanut butter?
Speaking of which, Robert Vaughn - who Matt implied he never had heard of before in the T-day Parade '84 article - played the bad guy in "Superman III" as well as playing "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." which used to be rerun all the time on TNT and in the final year of "The A-Team".
Chestnuts roasted by Garrison @ 11/25/2003 03:20 AM EST
Brian Doyle-Murray, eh?
Two words: Noah Vanderhoff.
This man has no Penis. Sphincter Boy. He Blows Goats. I Have Proof.
Garrison: That fifth season of the A-Team never happened. Like Rocky V and the third season of the White Shadow.
Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 11/25/2003 03:34 AM EST
Choco-Diles do still exist!!! They still make them!!!!
They are sold at my local gas station and at the hostess/wonder day old store.
Choco-Dile I LOVE YOU!!!
Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 11/25/2003 04:00 AM EST
Maybe you can wash the Superman Peanut Butter sandwich with Donald Duck Orange Juice?
Does anyone remember Donald Duck Orange Juice?
Chestnuts roasted by Tom @ 11/25/2003 04:03 AM EST
Anyone else notice that Lex has got two right hands in the shot of him dipping the cracker in the PB? Ahh the joys of overseas animation.
Chestnuts roasted by Michelle @ 11/25/2003 04:08 AM EST
Shang Tsung's dad can so beat up Superman's dad.
Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 11/25/2003 06:07 AM EST
Matt,
It may not have been explained in any cartoon, comic or movie script, but the pilot episode of Lois and Clark: the New Adventures of Superman had Martha Kent explaining that if clothing was close enough to his body, it never got dirty. The only conclusion I can draw from this is that Clark never needed to wash.
So I guess it was only the cape that he had an infinite supply of...
Chestnuts roasted by Pete @ 11/25/2003 06:13 AM EST
Yeah, Pete, I remember it being explained a couple of times during that series. I recall it being said that anything within a few millimetres or so of his skin was equally invincible. This has left me wondering how Superman trims his toenails without waiting for them to protrude from his toes by a centimetre or so. It's a good job he's got invincible socks.
Also, there's no logical reason that I can think of for why the 'Lois and Clark' was omitted from the show's title in the UK.
Chestnuts roasted by Simon @ 11/25/2003 08:38 AM EST
Thanks for making me hate Lois and Clark. :/ All I remember about that show was that Murray Futterman once had a cameo role, but now that I think about it, that was for "The Flash." I remember nothing about Lois and Clark save for the fact that Brenda's boringest boyfriend was Superman.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 11/25/2003 08:49 AM EST
WOW! I remember when I got my first box of Superman Hot Cocoa. It came with a free Superman Mug offer. I waited by the mailbox everyday for 4-6 weeks for that mug. I loved that mug...
Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 11/25/2003 09:15 AM EST
...and now it's dead. BWAHAHAHA.
Chestnuts roasted by Marc @ 11/25/2003 09:27 AM EST
Oddly enough, since Superman is one of the few superhero comics/legends I ever really got into, I had no idea he ever had a peanut butter. I mean, think about it. Even when the world went Batman-crazy in 1989, peanut butter was one of the only products the Caped Crusader's symbol didn't appear on. Yet Superman got his own legume sandwich spread. There's got to be something special there.
I don't know about Chocodiles, but Donald Duck Orange Juice is still very much alive and well in major grocery stores in southern New Jersey, including the one where I work.
Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 11/25/2003 09:32 AM EST
I ate Skippy in the 80's and still do. I'm 32 and bring a pb sandwich to work everyday much to all my coworkers amusement.
Chestnuts roasted by lepnhoj @ 11/25/2003 10:10 AM EST
I have on tape another Superman PB commercial (about the same vintage as the one you describe with girl and dad in car). This time, Mom and boy are IN the store, in the PB aisle, and Superman comes whipping up to them to suggest they try his brand of peanut butter. Junior's jaw drops to the floor, and his eyes are as big as dinner plates as the Man of Steel offers Mom a sample to taste for herself. The best part is... MOM is TOO STUPID TO NOTICE it's Superman handing out product samples at the Safeway! All she knows is, that's some great tasting peanut butter. "Nutricious tooooooo!" he shouts as he flies away. Kid is all "WOW! DID YOU SEE THAT?!?" while idiot mother raves, "Yeah! That really did taste good!"
Chestnuts roasted by Evil Colonel @ 11/25/2003 11:03 AM EST
I eat peanut butter all the time. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Mmmmmm, Jif is definitely my favorite. Eat it by the spoonful. And on hamburgers, too. Yep, great stuff.
Chestnuts roasted by AlfonsoTheBat @ 11/25/2003 11:42 AM EST
I had those pretzels! And that hot cocoa mug...and I still do somewhere...yay for never cleaning!
Chestnuts roasted by Nemesis @ 11/25/2003 12:11 PM EST
I have a DVD (Bootleg, found it at a comic convention in Novi,MI) of a bunch of old commercials. The funniest ones being for Corn Flakes, featuring George Reeves as Superman using his X-ray vision to spy on kids eating breakfast to find out *gasp* they have run out of Kelloggs Corn Flakes! The commercials go on to tell you how people are always running out of Corn Flakes and since not everyone is Superman, you should pick up an extra box. If you can ever track these down on the internet it is worth it for the cheesy acting alone!
Chestnuts roasted by gl2899 @ 11/25/2003 12:16 PM EST
Man, I thought I imagined that peanut butter. If there's one thing this site is good for, it's showing you that you're not actually insane.
Chestnuts roasted by Shawn @ 11/25/2003 12:34 PM EST
Again, you guys in the states get all the fun stuff. The funnest peanut butter that I can remeber is the squerrel brand with the stupid peanut on top. Matt, take your time with the parades. As fun as they are, you don't want to spoil us rotten.
Chestnuts roasted by turkeys can't fly? @ 11/25/2003 12:56 PM EST
hey starwenn on a sorta related note what do u think of the new superman/batman comic miniseries?
Chestnuts roasted by Scourge @ 11/25/2003 01:26 PM EST
Oh man Matt, you mentioned Noah's Arcade and now I'm wracking my brain trying to remember where the hell that was from. I can even remember the last line to that rap, but can't for the life of me remember where it came from. Help me before my head implodes and I look like that Dixie Chick with the fucked up eye.
Chestnuts roasted by Hypnotix @ 11/25/2003 01:28 PM EST
I knew I remembered that stupid Masters of the Universe float as being 2-2-TWO floats in one! Now I will have to deal with the nightmares tonight. Anyone notice that the little girl in the back of Daddy's car looks like she's trying to escape? She's halfway out the window. Guess Daddy forgot the seatbelt. Or maybe Daddy wants to get rid of her so it was an accidental on purpose moment. Imagine Mommy's happiness when he gets home-
Dad: "Honey I got rid of the whiney little bitch for good this time."
Mom: "She fussed about the peanut butter again, Dear? How many times did I tell her not to tell you if you forgot the peanut butter..."
Dad (mumbling): "...toys and room full of stuff...little bitch wants peanut butter...who's peanut butter now, kid?"
At this point the mom would calmy call the men with the nice white jackets and after they took Daddy away she'd go on a vacation to the Bahamas and meet a young caban boy. they live happily ever after.
Chestnuts roasted by Killer Duck @ 11/25/2003 01:29 PM EST
That wasn't Lex Luthor in the commerical. Lex Luthor looks like the guy on smallville
Chestnuts roasted by R Hunter @ 11/25/2003 01:59 PM EST
Back in the 50s, when Superman comics were selling a million copies a month, they had even odder Superman items. Including the Superman Cigarette Lighter, shaped like the Man O' Steel himself. Light up, kids! Superman commands it!
Chestnuts roasted by Corman @ 11/25/2003 02:46 PM EST
Yeah, here in the states we get all the good stuff. Superman peanut butter, "Lois and Clark" in the title, parades. Everywhere else they have to settle for things like Nutella. Stop your whining and realize how lucky you are!
Not that I'm bitter about Nutella not being in every supermarket or anything.
I love how Lex looked so dorky in the cartoon. Everyone did, but this guy's supposed to be a powerful genius-type. I guess it's hard making a normal human look evil. So they put purple on him. Then again, Magneto has one of the worst costumes ever and he's also one of the most powerful mutants in Marvelland.
I'm a Batman freak and didn't go too crazy during the merchandise bonanza surrounding the movies. Even at a young age I was picky. Though now it's hard for me to pass up the Justice League hot chocolate.
The Superman & Batman miniseries actually doesn't suck. Though to my perverted mind, it reads like slash. With some of the inner monologue stuff going on, I fully expect the two to jump each other with unbridled lust. Either the writer thinks the two are meant for each other, or his writing is incredibly unsubtle. I don't need to be beaten over the head with the fact that they know each other so well.
While I'm being incredibly geeky, what ever happened to those adult Underoos they were supposed to put out? There's expensive Superman/girl underwear for juniors out there, but that's trendy. Nothing for adults who have no other excuse. Hmph.
Chestnuts roasted by FangirlX @ 11/25/2003 03:12 PM EST
i see nutella in almost every grocery store around here (boston)...even got a big tub at costco once
Chestnuts roasted by lain @ 11/25/2003 03:24 PM EST
Nobody else has any choco-dile stories eh?
They are made by hostess. They are chocolate covered twinkies!
*DROOOOOOL*
Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 11/25/2003 04:01 PM EST
The Masters of the Universe float looks really good.
Chestnuts roasted by Romo @ 11/25/2003 04:50 PM EST
I was eating a PB&J sandwich as I read this article :-D
Chestnuts roasted by spiffy mckracken @ 11/25/2003 05:36 PM EST
that he-man/she-ra float is "truly truly truly outrageous"...or so I hope so anyways.
Chestnuts roasted by kennef @ 11/25/2003 05:44 PM EST
now i cant read superman/batman anymore thanks...lol. I always thought jeph loeb was one of the best writters but that sounds a little scary...
Chestnuts roasted by Scourge @ 11/25/2003 06:09 PM EST
I'm confused about the Jem reference to the MoTU float? Or is there a third part to the Masters' Universe that I remained blissfully unaware of (perhaps Synergy=Sorceress; Holograms=weird fuzzy soldiers without pants)?
Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 11/25/2003 06:11 PM EST
I racked my brain, and I racked my brain. I cannot recall eating the Superman PB (we were Peter Pan at my house), but I do remember the superman symbol on the yellow, metal top. But I cannot remember where or how or why. Then I remembered...my grandmother used an empty SPB jar to store broken crayons for my sister and I. And with those broken crayons? Yes, clown crayons.
Somehow, the clown crayons always got coated with the broken black and burnt sienna crayons...
Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 11/25/2003 06:19 PM EST
See, I kinda have the opposite impulse when I see Superman Peanut Butter. To me it sounds like a bad idea.
The fact that Superman is shilling it seems to suggest that he eats it regularly. Are we sure it's safe? The guy can chew bricks like candybars. For all we know, eating this peanut butter could be like devouring liquid metal.
Now if it was Batman Peanut Butter, it would be all right. It gives you the idea that Bruce Wayne built himself up all these years thanks to a steady diet of this stuff. Plus there's the promise of hearing "Holy lunchtime!" in the commercial.
Chestnuts roasted by Gavok @ 11/25/2003 06:47 PM EST
I don't ever remember eating Superman peanut butter,but since I've been such a pb&j fanatic sicne childhood,I might've,but forgot. The best peanut butter I ever had was goverment peanut butter my parental grandparents gave me when I was like ten or eleven.
Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 11/25/2003 07:23 PM EST
I'd rather see Green Arrow peanut butter, and Green Lantern jelly.
Green Lantern jelly because I'd have a hard time seeing him make peanut butter with his ring, but not jelly. Green Arrow because he's just cool.
Chestnuts roasted by Mwargh @ 11/25/2003 07:26 PM EST
Noah's Arcade was from "Wayne's World".
(and now that you mention it, I can't remember much of that rap either.)
Chestnuts roasted by Monster Dog @ 11/25/2003 08:39 PM EST
I have the first issue of Batman/Superman and then my comic shop didn't get issue 2 and then got issue 3!!! I was so mad!! And when I asked if they got issue two that month, the lady looked at me like I had lobsters coming out of my ears! She said what's there is what we got. That He-Man poster looks alot like my Panini Sticker Book of He-Man!!! it is 98% complete!
Chestnuts roasted by Dethstryke @ 11/25/2003 08:55 PM EST
I went to a museum in Cleveland when I was little (Western Reserve Historical Society) that had a Superman exhibit. I ended up getting a tin of those Superman pretzels. Good times.
Chestnuts roasted by JG! @ 11/25/2003 09:33 PM EST
Where did you find that peanut butter?
Chestnuts roasted by Caitlin @ 11/25/2003 09:49 PM EST
Squirrel peanut butter is now Skippy. And I think they've phased out the peanut.
Chestnuts roasted by Evil Colonel @ 11/25/2003 10:53 PM EST
Man, I used to eat that Kal-El Peanut Butter all the time. In fact, whenever I hear or see the name "Superman" I honestly automatically(subconsciously)associate it with PB. Seriously.
When I was eating it in the mid eighties, it was in a plastic jar with blue lid. Maybe if the new Superman movie ever "gets off the ground" (HA!), we'll get our PB back.
On the subjects of the Macy's parades, does anyone remember which year had the Marvel float, with characters like Spidey, Silver Surfer, and a mongoloid Hulk chasing each other around while a lady sang "Hero"? I'm thinking 87 or 88. I swear, that sounds too surreal but it's honest to god true.
Chestnuts roasted by Meat @ 11/26/2003 01:21 AM EST
Mmm, I like peanut butter. I never knew Superman cared for the safety of Metropolis AND for our bitter tastebuds. Tasty. Fare thee well, Metropolitans!
Chestnuts roasted by Armagideon Time @ 11/26/2003 01:33 AM EST
Sir(s),I love your site.I check it daily.I sure don't mean to sound bitchy BUT...I'm also drunk on Olde English "HG800" malt liquor daily,and now,I hesitate to frequent x-entertainment because,having exhausted most of your Masters of the Universe/TMNT/G.I.Joe/obscure 80's falderol-options...the disturbing trend seems to be toward UNLEASHING PHOTOS OF DISGUSTING FOODS THAT WERE JUST SHY OF POISONOUS 20 YEARS AGO AND ARE EXPONENTIALLY SO TODAY.
The writing is hilarious.It's rare that reading text on a screen can make you "Belly-Laugh"(like that part with the,"Blah blah blah I'm so stoned right now.I need to find a way out of this paragraph(reminded me of Al Franken)),but DUDE...
You know that feeling,after Trick-or-Treating? where you've eaten 9 pounds of Tootsie Rolls and Jolly Ranchers? and you feel like if you ever see so much as a packet of Sweet-n-Low you're gonna hurl your great grand- daughters baby's Momma's kidneys up?
That's how your old food stories make me feel.
Kudos on the triumph of the inexplicably 80's Thanksgiving Day parade featuring Menudo and that(I can't believe it really happened)oldish chick who couldn't wait to become a Care-Bear!...The TCM review was top-notch.Just please,PLEASE...lay off the...er,...food?...stories for a bit or I'm gonna seriously fucking PUKE.....like that Slimer juice story?.....God!...it's not funny.It's just like showing us pics from the autopsy of a syphilitic lemur who had gorged himself on cottage cheese right before a noseless leper decided to throw it into a vat of acid and Grey Poupon so he could reduce it's body to a paste suitable for "performance-art" style enemas.
Thank You.
Chestnuts roasted by Rudolph @ 11/26/2003 04:36 AM EST
Man, I love those food stories. Lurve them.
Now, if we could talk about randomly embedding Flock of Seagulls songs in articles -- you know I'm gonna have that song in my head all day now? One of those annoying songs where I know every other word so I'll be like "I never thought I'd meet a girl like yooou with all the hair and ya dee dunh the kind of eyes that hypnotize and dunh dunh dunh dunh."
Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 11/26/2003 09:36 AM EST
The Noah's Arcade rap from Wayne's World went like this:
Come bust a move
where the games are played.
Its chill, its fresh,
its Noah's Arcade
Now review Mac and Me!
Chestnuts roasted by A-wel Cruiz @ 11/26/2003 10:24 AM EST
The Marvel float, I believe, was 1986. Correct me if I am wrong Matt. The reason I remember so well is because we were staying with realatives that Thanksgiving and I was in front of the T.V. watching the parade. Then the magic moment happened, one of the emcees introduced Marvels float and Captain America calls for all other heroes to help him defeat the bad guy (I think it was Doom) and they are all running around "fighting" as the score to back to the future was playing in the background. Now this was well before the days of X-men, Hulk and Spider man movies so this was HUGE for me. I must have started jumping up and down with joy like an idiot because my evil Aunt came and shut off the T.V. and put me in time out by the time I got back to the telly the Marvel float was long gone and I was crushed. Eh, I got a good 2 minute 'tard workout from it though and I have never forgotten that magic moment.
Chestnuts roasted by gl2899 @ 11/26/2003 12:15 PM EST
I bet we'll see a he-man and strawberry float this year being that there "in" again.
Chestnuts roasted by kennef @ 11/26/2003 02:00 PM EST
Superman peanut butter? That's going a little bit too far.At least the kryptonite rocks made sense.Damn,you 80's kids are damn lucky.Seeing a Marvel float?Wow,I'll never get that priveledge.
Chestnuts roasted by Icymatt @ 11/26/2003 02:00 PM EST
On the subject of your last parade...Someone knew who Robert Vaughn was...I know who Desiree Goyette was; she was the replacement voice of Betty Boop and she had a large involvement in all the Garfield TV specials, and maybe the Garfield series.
Chestnuts roasted by Mars @ 11/26/2003 04:19 PM EST
Hey Matt, crazy idea here, you may want to post those new Macy's parade reviews BEFORE thanksgiving, just a thought.
Chestnuts roasted by The Dude @ 11/26/2003 04:38 PM EST
I'm pretty sure there's Donald Duck . . .grapefruit juice (or something a bit odd, anyway) at the liquor store about a block from here. I'd check, but I'm broke, and I don't really want to have to explain to the guy that runs the place what I'm doing.
Chestnuts roasted by Milke @ 11/26/2003 06:08 PM EST
I know there's going to be a Little Bill balloon, of all things, but that's about it.
Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 11/26/2003 08:31 PM EST
Well, in both the Lois & Clark show (cheesy as it was) and in the comics (post-Crisis) there was the same explaination of why his suit didn't get (that) dirty (unless he was REALLY getting messed up by the flavor of the week or month) because of the proximity to his body. This also explained how he could fly without any problems (i.e. windburn) or run like the dickins. Pre-Crisis, it was because his suit was made from material that was in his capsule, making it from Krypton and therefore invunerable too. Hey, it took until the fifties and the rise of Superboy for them to pull that little nugget out. Anyhoo, I was definitely a big fan of the peanut butter, but then, I always wanted to be the Flash when we played superfriends. Odd, I know, so I'm not exactly the arbiter of normalcy.
Chestnuts roasted by KatarHol @ 11/26/2003 11:34 PM EST
Did they ever have Aquaman jam? They could have called it Aquajam in a delicious piece of word play!
Chestnuts roasted by Feral @ 11/27/2003 06:24 AM EST
Pleae, PLEASE, PLEASE post the live-action Superman PB commercial too!!!!
Chestnuts roasted by anonymous @ 11/27/2003 09:08 AM EST
You bring back so many memories.
I don't actually remember eating the stuff, but I had an empty jar for years. (I thought that the logo on top of the jar was cool!)
Thanks to a SMPB promo, I have a re-print of Action Comics #1.
Chestnuts roasted by Guiderman @ 11/28/2003 08:58 AM EST
Yes, PLEASE post the live-action commercial!
Chestnuts roasted by Wally @ 12/01/2003 10:33 AM EST
Apparently at one time, Superman peanut butter was availible in huge plastic buckets, because thats what I used for my childhood crayon bucket!
Chestnuts roasted by Phil the Scumdog @ 01/07/2004 01:31 AM EST
Apparently at one time, Superman peanut butter was availible in huge plastic buckets, because thats what I used for my childhood crayon bucket!
Chestnuts roasted by Phil the Scumdog @ 01/07/2004 01:31 AM EST
I remember the Superman peanut butter, but I only remember drinking the hot
cocoa. It was damn good!
BTW, does anyone remember the TV spot for Superman hot cocoa?? I remember
seeing the commercial and buying the cocoa well into '84-'85. The commercial
was very similar to the Peanut Butter ones, only (from what I remember) it
started out showing a cold, wintery scene. Two kids sitting at a dinner table
after coming in from the cold and their mom gives them Superman cocoa to drink
and warm up with. They look at the box and Superman pops out and tells them
something...probably that the cocoa would give them strength from the cold or
something. That's all I can remember, but I don't remember Superman popping
out of the box for me! :-(
I can also remember eating the Superman pretzels, which IIRC were around for a
little while longer than the cocoa and peanut butter. There was also a whole
lot of other Superman paraphernalia around in the late '70s/'80s, including
Superman lunch bags, plastic capes you could order from the back of the
Justice League figurine boxes, and I even remember seeing "real" Kryptonite in
some comic books back then! Funny all the stuff we were bombarded with back in
the '80s!
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Chestnuts roasted by air travel @ 11/04/2004 03:51 PM EST
I said the next article would be about peanut butter, and that waddn't no lie. Not sure how many of you remember it, but I'll never forget 
