09/26/2003 Entry: "Halloween Countdown Update: Hostess Cakes & Dracula's Jokes"

Today's Countdown entry investigates Hostess' new series of Halloween-themed snack cakes, ranging from "Glo Balls" to regular donuts with a picture of Frankenstein on the box. Good fun. Thanks to "Ron S." for sending in the tip. Also, if you missed it, Dracula told a joke during yesterday's entry. It's all here. Hope everyone's liking it so far -- it definitely helps keep things flowing during busy weeks like this one, where I don't really have enough time to crank out the full-lengthers. We're going on a bit of a trek tomorrow night, towards something mysterious, spooky, and possibly filled with homeless crack addicts. Seriously. If the pictures tell the tale well enough, I'll have a good story for y'all next week.

By the way, I'm still getting a decent amount of mail regarding that Wendy's article, both from staff and managers of various Wendy's restaurants across the country. The consensus is that the place I got that food from was a little grittier than the norm, though almost unanimously, I've been told to avoid the chili at all costs. Take that for what it's worth, chili fans. Basically, they've all agreed that Wendy's chili is the one thing on the menu most of the staff avoids like the plague.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 09/26/2003 11:16 AM EST

I remember Twinkie the Kid, but that oddly phalic twinkie in the cape is creepy. It kind of looks like the fat guy on "Family Guy".

Chestnuts roasted by klatubaradanikto @ 09/26/2003 11:21 AM EST

That was a fruit pie and he was a magician. If I wasn't so lazy I'd find his name.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 09/26/2003 01:25 PM EST

You guys are probably going to call me a literary nazi for pointing this out and I don't blame you, but it sorta bothers me when people confuse Frankenstein with Frankenstein's monster. For the record, the scientist was named Frankenstein and the monster never acquired a name. It's not that I'm really anal about it, because I understand a lot of people haven't read the book, it's just a little confusing often to people who have read the book and misleading to people who havent.

Flame away. (though wouldn't that be ironic, considering that it was the nazis who used fire)

As for the glo balls, I'd love to try one. I don't think I've ever had a sno ball. Mother never wanted me to indulge my sweet tooth on Hostess. So during hot lunch friday in elementary school when kids got all the generic Twinkies with their pizza, and often threw them in the trash, I filched all of them (wrapped tight of course) from the garbage and went on a binge. So I blame my parents, as one is always supposed to do in times like these.

Keep up the good work Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by inkmage @ 09/26/2003 02:47 PM EST

Well, while it is true that the proper name is Frankenstein's Monster, enough people don't care about the book and instead adopted the creature itself, not the crazy doctor. Therefore the name was shortened by the general populace to simply Frankenstein. And you don't really have to read the book to know the proper name, all you have to do is watch a certain Mel Brooks movie

Chestnuts roasted by Elliott @ 09/26/2003 03:19 PM EST

I have to say that I passed the Dracula comic around to all my friends. It was fantastically simplistic. Great. :D

Chestnuts roasted by Melanie @ 09/26/2003 05:55 PM EST

I love hostess cakes. Here's a tip for people who eat their cupcakes. Don't peel the frosting off. Eat the cake first and then the frosting. It's a dessert dessert.

Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 09/26/2003 06:08 PM EST

that comic is pure genius, love the last panel to death(terrible pun).

Chestnuts roasted by Patrick N @ 09/26/2003 08:16 PM EST

Aww damn. Now I want a Twinkie real bad. Did they "Halloweenize" Twinkies too? I sure hope so, because I'm about to get into my car and drive to the nearest grocery store to pick up a pack of them.

Oh, wait a minute. I'm not sure if they even have Twinkies here in Canada. Shit.

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 09/26/2003 10:10 PM EST

OK mat you just pushed the limit. Im tempted to go and get some of this toxic chili. the idea of it being taboo makes it irristible

Chestnuts roasted by the corinthian @ 09/26/2003 10:32 PM EST

Hmmm, the Corinthian has given me an idea as to what other food I could go out and get (but I'm not sure if Canadian Wendy's places have what I'd be looking for).

Chestnuts roasted by Nate @ 09/26/2003 10:35 PM EST

I have one question:

Why would a ghost be making out a will?

Chestnuts roasted by AgentSix @ 09/26/2003 11:45 PM EST

The most underrated Hostess product had to be the Suzy-Q. When else did you get to eat chocolate sponges? Especially 2 chocolate sponges so close that they were emanating white cream between them?

(Was that takign it too far?)

Chestnuts roasted by TOP1214 @ 09/26/2003 11:53 PM EST

You know, despite the fact that I've eaten at least a half-dozen Sno-Balls in my day (for Sno-Balls, that's quite a lot), I've never tasted the skin. Could be the fact that it resembles a dead, bloated jellyfish. Or it could be that it's much more fun to rub off the cupcake remnants and throw the sticky part against the ceiling. Sno-Ball skins are nature's suction cup. Naturally.

Anyway, amen to the skin. Amen.

To skin... in...

Chestnuts roasted by RevJoe @ 09/27/2003 12:17 AM EST

You know, despite the fact that I've eaten at least a half-dozen Sno-Balls in my day (for Sno-Balls, that's quite a lot), I've never tasted the skin. Could be the fact that it resembles a dead, bloated jellyfish. Or it could be that it's much more fun to rub off the cupcake remnants and throw the sticky part against the ceiling. Sno-Ball skins are nature's suction cup. Naturally.

Anyway, amen to the skin. Amen.

To skin... in...

Chestnuts roasted by RevJoe @ 09/27/2003 12:25 AM EST

You know, despite the fact that I've eaten at least a half-dozen Sno-Balls in my day (for Sno-Balls, that's quite a lot), I've never tasted the skin. Could be the fact that it resembles a dead, bloated jellyfish. Or it could be that it's much more fun to rub off the cupcake remnants and throw the sticky part against the ceiling. Sno-Ball skins are nature's suction cup. Naturally.

Anyway, amen to the skin. Amen.

To skin... in...

Chestnuts roasted by RevJoe @ 09/27/2003 12:29 AM EST

Damn it all, sorry...

Chestnuts roasted by RevJoe @ 09/27/2003 12:32 AM EST

I've never had a twinkie in my life. Maybe it's because I'm vegetarian.

Chestnuts roasted by jonelle @ 09/27/2003 02:13 AM EST

I can't see twinkies being in the vegetarian food group...
but they are damn good! shelf life of 50 yr's doncha know! ;)

Chestnuts roasted by xen @ 09/27/2003 02:20 AM EST

You know, before you complain about the Frankenstein thing, you should take more notic of the fact he's still quoting the awful cartoon rewrite of Splinter's origins as canon.

Hamato Yoshi was Splinter's owner. Not Splinter himself. And Shredder had nothing to do with his creation, the Utrom just had shoddy safety regulations when it came to transporting the mutagenic byproducts of matter transmission device construction.

Chestnuts roasted by Regault @ 09/27/2003 02:31 AM EST

I'm taking a class right now on Arthurian legend and we're looking at how this one story is told in two translations. Just because one came before the other doesn't mean the former has no merit and should not be observed.

The cartoon TMNT may not be the same origin story, yet it is still a valid origin story for a different style of storytelling. I'm not familiar with the TMNT comics much, so I can't say which is the better story, but personally I find that Hamato Yoshi used to be some kick ass martial artist makes Splinter infinitely cooler than if he was just a rat who learned martial arts. I don't know, I find poetry in the story of a warrior reduced to the shape of a rat living in the sewer with four teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Oh, dear me, have I just discussed TMNT as if it were apart of the literary cannon? Well, who knows, in five hundred years students may actually discuss Power Rangers in high school English class. Dear me how frightening. Yet an interesting story that might make . . .

Chestnuts roasted by inkmage @ 09/27/2003 03:43 AM EST

W/less than 5.5 hours to go, will Matt make the nezt post on time? Or will he be killed researching his next article? Find out next time in: Posted late! or... The Late Poster!

Chestnuts roasted by TOP1214 @ 09/27/2003 06:36 PM EST

does anyone know what's actually wrong with the wendy chili? i don't know, it's my favorite thing on the menu, and now i feel dirty.

Chestnuts roasted by tripwood @ 09/27/2003 08:21 PM EST

I've eaten the chili plenty of times and never noticed anything wrong with it at all. Must be a thing to do with the individual restaraunts.

Chestnuts roasted by GJ @ 09/28/2003 08:22 PM EST

And I thought I was the only one who felt some instinctual need to circumsize my Sno-Balls before eating them...

Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 09/29/2003 12:08 AM EST

Twinkies are very definitely not vegetarian cuisine. One of the ingredients in the cream filling, believe it or not, is beef tallow (basically liquified beef fat).

The greatest Hostess snack of all, of course, is the Fruit Pie, for both it's deliciousness and usefulness as a means to distract supervillains.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 09/29/2003 12:21 AM EST