09/04/2003 Entry: "Download the Super Mario 3 Commercial!"

Heyyyyyy. HEEYYYYYYYY. Hey. I've come to you once again in an effort of procrastination -- gotta finish up this week's print columns for Delaware, but the half-broken futon three feet away is calling my name. I'm usually more tired in the daytime, so I guess all of these random rapid weather changes are taking their toll on my increasingly aging and sadly brittle bones. Poor bones. On a cat food run earlier this evening, I was all too happy to see that our local grocer's begun putting together their Halloween displays. My ultimate goal is to make it out of their with one of those big Twizzlers packing boxes with the bats and witches all over it. I'm lame. Picked up two Women's Day-style Halloween mags on the checkout line, so now I'm fully prepared to haunt the shit out of next month with marshmallow ghosts and "Bride of Frankencupcakes." I'm lame X2. Actually, make that lame X8. Women's Day?

Speaking of Halloween, I think (hope) we're on target to get the ball rolling here on the site by the middle of this month. Just based on the stuff I've already got in-hand to review, it should be the best spooky season in X-E's history of spooky seasons. To be honest, doing the site has made me ten times the Halloween enthusiast that I used to be -- between making crayon rubbings off of Ichabod Crane's grave and having some justification in covering our apartment with shitty horror decorations, I've come to appreciate Halloween for what it truly is: the season that lets you get away with being really, really goofy.

You probably noticed a link in the Unicron article to get to a "comments section" on here -- a pretty blatantly obvious attempt to drive more readers to the ol' bloggagoat. Looks like it worked out okay, so I'll keep on doing that with future articles. Speaking of which, tomorrow's looks like a winner. It's another fast food expose, but this time, a whole lot of fast food is being exposed. Tons and tons. Tons, tons, and tons. Oh, by the way, thanks to NeroMan for crafting the Unicron icon that I modified for the post's logo. Before I go, got a little commercial download for you...

Okay, Super Mario Bros. 3 was a great game, we all know it. And if we didn't, Fred Savage told us. It's easily in my top ten favorite NES carts, and I doubt I'm alone in that distinction. When the game arrived, it was amidst shitloads of fanfare. Shitloads, I swear. There were several commercial spots promoting the game's release and even more after it was on the shelves, but of all the various ads, I think this one best illustrates just how much the title meant. A world obsessed with Mario? A world so obsessed with Mario that they color coordinated their clothes and stood in perfect alignment so that those in outer space would see Mario's head across Earth's landscape? It happened, and here's the thirty-second video to prove it...

Click here to download the Super Mario Bros. 3 commercial! It's around three MB, and well worth the time. Not sure if it's worth expending all the bandwidth, but I'm too tired to weigh the pros and cons. Go ahead, assault my server. Showing you guys a giant Mario head made out of people is a good cause. I hope. I pray. Just to make it today.

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 09/04/2003 09:43 AM EST

If there is a drive to get more comments and interactivity on this site, the perfect solution is the return of the X-E forums...

It's been more than a month since I've posted a request for their return...possibly even two.

That doesn't make me any less pathetic, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Ubu Rex @ 09/04/2003 09:52 AM EST

"wookiee is spelled with two e's"

Well, no. No, it's not.

And melanie, the "first post!" phenomenon happens ALL THE FRIGGIN' TIME here. I've never understood it myself, but I guess I've kinda gotten used to it by now.

As for the Super Mario games, 2 was by far the hardest; it's the only one I never beat (got to Wart once, though). Back in college, one of my roommates used to have us time him while he beat Super Mario 1... his record was, I think, about 6 minutes, 20 seconds or so. That was impressive, but not as much as the guy who could beat Mike Tyson's Punch-Out in, like, 15 minutes. I swear, I watched almost the entire time, I don't think he got hit once. You should've seen him smacking Tyson around like a little bitch... just sick, man.

Chestnuts roasted by The Lucky One @ 09/04/2003 10:10 AM EST

2 was the hardest!? Use Princess fuckin' Toadstool, my friends

Did you guys really beat 1? it's just too hard:(

Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 09/04/2003 10:35 AM EST

No, no, no. The hardest was that weird one that came with the super nintendo all stars game. I think it was supposed to be the follow up to super mario bros before they went with the dream world super mario 2. It was just impossible. Most would give up on it in the first level.

Chestnuts roasted by turkey's can't fly? @ 09/04/2003 10:59 AM EST

GUYS, I need help. Boyfriend and I need 80's halloween costumes for a themed 80's halloween party and wedding. So far our options are molly ringwald and duckie from pretty in pink...(maybe) or she-rah and he-man, (um...maybe she-rah and orco) PLEASE I need your help. I would go to my regular message board but a lot of people there will be going to the party and i want to surprise them. come through for an x-e regular and give me some suggestions...please?

Chestnuts roasted by T-rah @ 09/04/2003 11:05 AM EST

I think Mario 1 and 3 are insanely hard. I've never beaten either of them, not even using the save features on All Stars or my emulator. I used to be able to beat Mario 2 in 30 minutes or less using the warps.

Speaking of Emulators, thank god for Nester DC. It's kind of sad that I bought a Dreamcast solely for the sake of emulation; but hot damn! Dig Dug, Bubble Bobble and Tetris!

I wish my computer was good enough to handle the video of the commercial =(

Chestnuts roasted by jjgoreha @ 09/04/2003 11:28 AM EST

The only Nintendo games I ever beat were Duck Tales and Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers.

As I was saying about being pathetic...

Chestnuts roasted by Ubu Rex @ 09/04/2003 11:40 AM EST

Ummm, yeah- sorry but duck tales and chip n' dale is pathetic.
Try beating POW (the worst fighting game ever).
T-rah, a few suggestions...
Molly/Judd, Johnny 5/Jessica, Sam/Diane or Carla or Rebecca, Madonna/Sean, Tina Turner/Mick Jagger, April O'neil/Splinter (there was always a spark), I think skeltor and hordak always had a love/hate thing going on. Ah yes... Jabba/Leia (pls post picks of you in a brown metallic bikini).
Happy Halloween everyone!

Chestnuts roasted by turkey's can't fly? @ 09/04/2003 12:21 PM EST

Sorry. Johnny 5/stephanie.

Chestnuts roasted by turkeys can't fly? @ 09/04/2003 12:29 PM EST

I'm dying to know what the Pac-man picture has anything to do with.

MMMM Pac-man-on-a-stick. They look kind of surprised to have a stick shoved up them. Plus the pac-man pop sicle can eat other popscicles.

Chestnuts roasted by dghjej @ 09/04/2003 01:34 PM EST

Speaking of Halloween, Matt, I found a website you might be interested in. Weird New Jersey.com, since, you live in Jersey and you love bizarre shit.

Chestnuts roasted by Nemesis @ 09/04/2003 01:40 PM EST

:o Actually, in the official Star Wars RPG books, most notably the Alien Anthology...with damn near, like, 400 species... Wookiee is spelled with two 'e's. :p Sorry, but that's the official spelling.

Chestnuts roasted by XantheStar @ 09/04/2003 01:47 PM EST

Sam/Carla? I think his super studly sperm (alliteration!) would be too much for her, err, fertile valley. Norm/Vera?

"The Lost Levels". That shit was the hardest. Damn Japanese.

Chestnuts roasted by "How's life in the fast lane, Normy?" "Beats me, I can't find the onramp." @ 09/04/2003 02:21 PM EST

Look at how much of Mario's face occupies the Great Lakes. It appears to be filled with boats of people.

Of course, I'm saying that like convincing two whole time zones, "Hey, put on these sweat suits real quick & chant 'Mario' for about 20 seconds, could you?" is a piece of cake.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike Fireball @ 09/04/2003 02:28 PM EST

Wow, I had no problem with Super Mario 2. I just used Luigi and super jumped over every stage. And he wasn't such a wuss about picking up veggies like the princess was. And oh yeah, that Super Mario game in the All Stars Cart was the original Super Mario Bros 2, but it wasn't released in the US because they thought it would be too hard for us stupid Americans. So they gave us Doki Doki Panic with Mario peoples instead.

I know too much about everything useless. . .

Chestnuts roasted by Stealthy Warrior @ 09/04/2003 02:29 PM EST

Turkey's can't fly is right. The lost worlds on all stars is the only Mario that is too hard to finish. And Krappy Kat is right as well, use the princess and its a snap!

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 09/04/2003 02:44 PM EST

Oh, Jesus, the Lost Levels. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you this:
Back in the day, back when I first got my SNES, I got a copy of All-Stars free. And I remember hearing that The Lost Levels were just IT - the hardest game in the world. And I did it. I beat every single level of that damn game - even the hidden World 9 and Worlds A-D. The worst were these impossible levels where you had to run and jump over these, I dunno, tornadoes or something, and you'd fly over the level and have to land on this insanely tiny chasm... repeatedly. Took me forever and a day to beat that game, and I did use the infinite lives cheat from level 1-1, but I did do it. I was so proud.
And that's it. That's what I'll remember when I'm aging and withered. And that's a sad way to die.

Chestnuts roasted by Master H @ 09/04/2003 03:10 PM EST

Anyone else having trouble playing the SMB3 commercial? I'm getting a "not a file that Quicktime understands" error message whenever I try to start it.

Chestnuts roasted by Frank the Tank @ 09/04/2003 03:16 PM EST

I JUST missed the Mario 3 boom (As I was 5 years old at the time, not old enough for a NES, I guess). I DID get the chance to beat the crap out of it when I got Super Mario All-Stars for SNES though.

Chestnuts roasted by AL @ 09/04/2003 03:28 PM EST

I too got my copy of All-Stars for SNES free. Isn't that how most people got it though? It was some kind of mail-in deal, though I don't remember what it was that you mailed in to get the game. I do remember being surprised at how quickly it arrived, much less than the 6-8 weeks I was told it would take.

And the Lost Levels are definately the hardest of all the Mario games. Aren't the Lost Levels actually what the Japanese know as SMB2, since the game that we know was SMB2 in the USA is actually a compltely different game in Japan, with different character sprites?

Chestnuts roasted by Venadium @ 09/04/2003 03:37 PM EST

SMB3 offered one of th ebest moment sin all of NES, wearing the Hammer Brothers suit (second only to perhaps Kirby as a Flying Saucer)). Killing people w/hammers was worth wasting the 2 clouds to get to Toad's house for it. I could never beat that stupid level in the ice world where you had to carry the duck shell and fly up and drop the duck to break the bricks.

Chestnuts roasted by TOP1214 @ 09/04/2003 03:47 PM EST

Frank, run it on Windows Media Player. That'll fix it.

Chestnuts roasted by Stealthy Warrior @ 09/04/2003 03:50 PM EST

I still think this is one of the best video game commercials ever made. There's just something hypnotic about it.

Chestnuts roasted by Cameron @ 09/04/2003 05:38 PM EST

Matt your not lame. Your excited about stuff you like. People look down on me sometimes because I like comic books. But screw them.
I'm an artist and comic arts excites me. So keep on doing what you want. No one tells me what to like or how to act!!!

PS: John Van Fleet and David Mack Rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Yankee Clipper @ 09/04/2003 07:09 PM EST

SMB 3 can be a snap too; just bank up your p-wings and clouds plus your little power-ups, warp a couple of times, and cheat like a bitch in stage 8 with all that shit you saved and just breeze right through/over everything

Master H, Lost Levels was too damn hard (like 1), and you're right about that being no way to die. I'll vow to survive you as the neighborhood old grouch, hated by all the little children as I bitch and moan about how we used to beat video games. And how this guy even beat Lost Levels once, and he didn't use no damn emulator F5/F7 bullshit to do it!

Didn't Nintendo have some contest thing where you won something if you beat the Lost Levels without warping? (I seem to remember a special patch or something; ring any bells, Matt?)

Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 09/04/2003 07:34 PM EST

god, that commercial is beautiful *single tear*

Chestnuts roasted by zann @ 09/04/2003 07:42 PM EST

My neighbor picked up the Famicom version of Super Mario 3

before the NES version came out in the U.S. so got to play

the full game before anyone outside the U.S., At that time

people could only play a level or two on Nintendo's PlayChoice 10.

The only difference between the Famicom and the Nes versions was

the game was in Japanese and if you were Fire Mario (or any other

Super form besides plan old Super Mario) you would go back to

being Regular Mario(a.k.a. Small Mario) but in the NES version

you just went back to being Super Mario, making the NES version

easier than the Famicom version. Nintendo need to make harder games.

Chestnuts roasted by Famicom Fan @ 09/04/2003 07:44 PM EST

Yeah, I think that a lot of the SMB All-Stars cartridges were mailed when you order a subscription of nintendo power... They made those games look freakin' awesome on SNES too! Especially the original, it look WICKED nice on the SNES...

But that is one BIZARRE commercial.. A United States obsessed with Mario? Who woulda thought?

Chestnuts roasted by Karma @ 09/04/2003 07:50 PM EST

That's one commercial I barely remember, but it's awesome nonetheless. I was more occupied with The Wizard and the actual game. I assume a SMB2 is next?

The first one is the hardest, I think. Not because of the level design, some of the later levels are near impossible with such an archaic platform engine.

Chestnuts roasted by BaronKrusha @ 09/04/2003 08:57 PM EST

I always found it interesting that the Super Nintendo's "Super Mario World" was never quite as a good as SMB 3, even thought it was on a better system.

-Ray

Chestnuts roasted by Pocketmego @ 09/04/2003 09:06 PM EST

44th post...

God posting "First post" IS MASSIVLY GAY!

I mean if you obviously had the first post, why didn't you use it to your advantage? Everyone knows that the first post is the third most read thing in a Page like this!

Right behind the intro, the one next to the mario head, and well, itself?

God, you freaks who post first post bork it every time! Post decent stuff next time!

Chestnuts roasted by Angry Dad @ 09/04/2003 09:19 PM EST

Dude, SMB 3 is the best game out there, even today....and its coming out for the GBA!.::drool::..anyway about SMB1 being hard. I watched my sisters friend play through every level, every one, he didn't use warps or cheats and beat the entire game in I think two hours, but that was a long time ago and my memory sometimes isn't good with a timeframe.

Chestnuts roasted by XeroOne @ 09/04/2003 09:29 PM EST

If you get through the Lost Levels without warping or losing all your lives, you'd get access to the secret World 9. People who sent in photographic proof that they had reached World 9 were awarded a stupid patch that said "Certified Mario Maniac! NO WARPING! World 9 Challenge." I know I still have mine lying around here somewhere. Let me see if I can dig it up.

Chestnuts roasted by Mike Fireball @ 09/04/2003 09:50 PM EST

80's costume? mario and the princess.

Chestnuts roasted by s @ 09/04/2003 10:16 PM EST

melanie, shut ure cum guzzling mouth much?

Chestnuts roasted by ibentmywookie @ 09/04/2003 10:33 PM EST

I remember beating SMB3 on the NES,but it was a friend's copy. I also made it through The Lost Levels on SM All-Stars for the SNES,both Level 9 and Worlds A-D. That game was my bitch.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 09/04/2003 10:33 PM EST

oh yeah and for the record hector mario,u my boy, anyone who has to argue something as trivial as the word wookie or the spelling there of should get a life and move out of his parents house and angry dad I dunno wut a bork is, frankly don't give a fuck, unless it's at wendy's but the whole "first post thing has become somewhat of a tradition so I decided to seize it, but since it was under a mario head, my apologies I'll save my pulitzer prive shit for x-e's message board another time. I've made my peace 50th some odd post :)

Chestnuts roasted by ibentmywookie @ 09/04/2003 10:53 PM EST

Me and Mario had a thing for a while but I caught him ballin wida notha chic, he was a playa so I had to let him go

Chestnuts roasted by GuitarGal @ 09/04/2003 11:43 PM EST

DEAR MATT,
How many lines do you do before you start writing about ice cream cake from outer space, in full detail no less ? How high am i to sit there and read it?

Chestnuts roasted by SKIWLZ @ 09/05/2003 02:00 AM EST

Man, I was sooo happy when I finally beat SMB1. I think my mom even bought me ice cream afterwards, she was so proud... Never got past that dang ice level in 2 though, and I could never sit down and play 3 all the way through, unfortunately. I'm feelin the urge to hook up my nintendo and play it now, though... What? College, you say? Job you say? Naahhh, THIS is the important stuff. XD

Chestnuts roasted by Toktobis @ 09/05/2003 02:33 AM EST

ibentmywookie seems a little on the 'look at me!' side. i'll move out of my dad's garage if you start listening to contemporary jazz, and we'll meet somewhere in the middle.

Chestnuts roasted by s @ 09/05/2003 04:41 AM EST

There sure is alot of people on here with a strange need to let the world know the correct spelling of the word "Wooky" or "Wookie" or "Wookiee" or Uncle Ben...whatever.

Chestnuts roasted by Optismat Prime @ 09/05/2003 05:19 AM EST

I remember this commercial...

Thanks for reminding me about it. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Syxx Pac @ 09/05/2003 12:02 PM EST

I still love your article on Halloween decorations. I share the same obsession. I've already begun collecting. It's truly sick. X-E makes it all the more fun with the articles on old TV specials, costumes, etc..

The commercial is - of course - very cool.

Chestnuts roasted by Pouk @ 09/05/2003 12:47 PM EST

"Now You're Playing With Power"

I havn't heard that phrase in a long time!

Chestnuts roasted by Patrick @ 09/05/2003 01:00 PM EST

Bragging time!

I beat the Lost Levels. It took me years and years, but by god, I FINALLY BEAT IT, including worlds A-D. God was it ever hard.

I never had a problem with Mario 2, 3, World, or any of the others. It was Mario 1 I could never beat. I finally managed to do it using the save feature in All Stars. I could never get that damn unlimited lives trick to work, which was probably my biggest problem.

Chestnuts roasted by Evan Talbott @ 09/05/2003 10:25 PM EST

I REMEMBER THAT COMMERICAL!! Was that REALLY more than ten years ago? I feel so... ancient.

I had zero, and I mean NO trouble beating 1. I even learned about fun secret levels and shit. Two and Three proved impossible for young freakachu, however, and I soon turned my youthful attentions towards World. Which, I may add, I was eventually able to beat with a 105%. Some of those secret levels just got too funky for me though.... >:(

My mother wouldn't play anything but Tetris, because she didn't want me giving her helpful pointers.

Chestnuts roasted by freakachu @ 09/06/2003 10:30 PM EST

First of all, Freakachu, between this commercial (yes, I remember it well, too) all this "80s revival" business, and my brother entering 5th grade (I held him on my lap when he was a newborn!), I'm feeling pretty ancient myself. God only knows how my mother must feel...

I never did beat any of the Mario games on my own. My sister beat the first game, but only after I found all the warp zones. (The closest I got without her was 8-1.) We beat Mario 3 together after 2 or 3 years of renting it at least once a month. My parents got All-Stars from a friend, and I've enjoyed introducing my brother to the legacy that is Mario.

No one in my family has ever been able to beat Mario 2 or any subsequent Mario games, however. My brother and I are in the midst of working on Mario 2. I think we were somewhere around 3-1 the last time I visited. Maybe I'll talk him into playing the next time I visit my folks...

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 09/06/2003 10:47 PM EST

A couple of months ago, I popped 1 back into someone's old game system for some good old fashioned nostalgia-- and couldn't get past the dungeon in the fourth world. >_< There's the real indicator that you're not a kid anymore-- when your mad video game skillz go straight down the toilet.. I can beat FFX, but freaking Mario is beyond me.

How sad is that?

Chestnuts roasted by freakachu @ 09/07/2003 11:21 AM EST

SMB 3 was superior for one reason, and on reason only....

THE BOOT!

Chestnuts roasted by DeVryGuy @ 09/16/2003 10:46 AM EST

hey dumb asses its christmas

Chestnuts roasted by fat ased loser @ 12/13/2003 10:31 PM EST

son todos unos coņos de madre!!! Gringos de la mierda!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Chavez @ 06/11/2004 04:00 PM EST