08/11/2003 Entry: "APPLE JACKS HAS BLUE CARROTS."

It's a mad, mad world. Mad, mad worlds need something to personify just how mad they really are. Hmmm. Decisions, decisions. Hey wait, I know! LET'S ADD BLUE CARROTS TO APPLE JACKS! BLUE CARROTS IN THE JACKS! KALE COUSIN IN THE KELLOGG! Folks, against all rhyming reasons and better judgments, I proudly present the most inane and obscene "hey, we're still here" promotion since Pepsi made their syrup invisible. Without further ado, with a heavy heart, with jacks and apples, here it is: Kellogg's Apple Jacks cereal...with blue carrots!

Okay, so it's weird. So what? I would've went insane for something like this as a kid, which takes us back to my theory about kids being attracted to pretty much anything they can't understand. It seems odd that Kellogg's would work something like this into Apple Jacks, though, as despite its sugary content and attention to being candylicious, that's still one of their more "natural" kiddy cereals. I'm not sure if the blue carrots came into play to spark flailing sales or just because someone high up in the company has a fetish, but...uhh...they're here. If you've seen the commercial for this sickening display, there's no way you'll ever forget it. A bunch of kids in blue carrot costumes going absolutely batshit over the new cereal. It's the kind of thing that skips past your CD-RW memories and burns itself so far in that it's only classifiable as CD-R. If you don't understand what I mean, that makes two of us.

Still, there's an issue at play, having to do with flavor, and having to do with blue carrots. Despite the old advertisements touting Apple Jacks' penchant for actually not tasting like apples, people still regard 'em as such. A quick look at the ingredients confirms our beliefs: there's real, honest-to-goodness apple bits in there. So when you're adding carrot-shaped entities to a cereal previously established as having real fruit flavors, there's going to be a fairly large chunk of consumers staying the fuck away in fear that those blue carrots make the Apple Jacks taste like -- you guessed it -- carrots. THANK GOD FOR LABELS THAT EXPLAIN ALL.

"Same great Jacks' taste! No apple taste! No carrot taste!" I'd argue that they do taste a bit like apples, but it's nice to know that I can find my traces of beta carotene flava elsewhere. They say it's available for a limited time only, which makes sense considering that it's probably the stupidest idea ever conceived by large corporation. I kid; I love blue carrots. Not sure if the rest of the world will, though. Guess we'll find out when Kellogg's goes through with something even stranger than adding blue carrots to Apple Jacks: polling people to see if they like the blue carrots they added to Apple Jacks. Again -- it's a mad, mad world.

And that's what they look like. Blue carrots. Actually, they look more like microwaved buffalo wings someone dropped behind the couch and forgot about for months. I'd say that they don't taste the same, but really, I've never tasted moldy buffalo wings, and presumption is 9/10ths of what's wrong with the Internet. If nothing else, they add some much needed color. You know, blue. BLUE. BLUE CARROTS.

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 08/12/2003 01:40 AM EST

I think Pepsi was the first to have the lemon twist added to there cola. And only the Diet Coke has the lemon flavor. But Pepsi is a business, so you can't blaim them for hopping on the vanilla success.

Chestnuts roasted by Patrick N @ 08/12/2003 01:43 AM EST

I just bought applejacks today at the grocery store(of all places), but I DID NOT buy the blue carrot kind. Only the regular was on sale, probably to make room for the carrot stuff.

Chestnuts roasted by candybar @ 08/12/2003 02:59 AM EST

I think Pepsi beat Coke to the Lemon Punch, too, but I'm not sure, either. But one thing is for sure. Coke changed their entire formula to compete with Pepsi in the 80s. If that's not the be all and end all of copycat ripoffs, I don't know what is.

Oh, and blue carrots sound delcious.

Chestnuts roasted by Stan @ 08/12/2003 04:32 AM EST

Patrick, as far as here in NYC, Diet Lemon came first. I think Coke was smart by not making the regular on Lemon as I can't see it being as much of a flavor enhancing as Vanilla.

Chestnuts roasted by Big Will @ 08/12/2003 04:32 AM EST

you can make any soda vanilla! all you do is add 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract to every 16 ounces of soda. i've heard that vanilla dr pepper is pretty good. As for blue carrots in apple jacks.............WTF were they thinking??? strange people out there...and why are apple jacks orange to begin with? shouldn't they be green or red like apples?? all these weird colors to appeal to people. And every body knows that if there is a contest for a new color of this or that, that blue or green always wins because kids like their food blue, and they like all kinds of green things like boogers and slime and ECTO COOLER!!!

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 08/12/2003 04:33 AM EST

Will - Don't you mean Vanilla Pepsi bobbleheads? ;D

Chestnuts roasted by Omni @ 08/12/2003 06:16 AM EST

I ate Apple Jacks for breakfast yesterday. Coincidence? I think not...

Chestnuts roasted by Paul @ 08/12/2003 07:22 AM EST

Blue carrots in Apple Jacks. No apple taste, no carrot taste...

Ok, Matt my mind is officially blown and it's all your fault. Happy now?

Chestnuts roasted by Kev @ 08/12/2003 08:15 AM EST

My name is Photog,
I'm universally loved,
Where are my pictures?

Chestnuts roasted by A Photog Haiku @ 08/12/2003 08:47 AM EST

The contest wa great,
Matt please do not forget me,
Photog pictures rule!

Chestnuts roasted by Another Photog Haiku @ 08/12/2003 08:49 AM EST

That supposed to be "what we all want."

Finally,
I'll never give up,
As long as I've still got breath,
'Til I see Photog.

Matt, I've tried begging, pleading, cajoling, yelling, screaming, pleading, cutting and pasting, all to no avail. Could we please see all the runners-up in the Photog art contest that was promised so long ago? Please?

Chestnuts roasted by Whoops @ 08/12/2003 09:00 AM EST

That whole "Doesn't taste like apples" campaign always threw me for a loop. As a kid, I remember having Apple Jacks once (per requirement that a kid try every kind of kid's cereal at least once) and I do remember them having little dehydrated apple bits on the rings. They would soak up some of the milk and you'd have globules of pseudoapple clinging to the O's. Maybe they didn't add much apple flavor to the whole thing. Perhaps Apple Jacks intended to taste like apples but realized they just couldn't get the formula just right and said "Ah, to hell with it!" sparking up the whole "Yeah, we weren't REALLY trying to taste like apples to begin with..." campaign?

As for the brown bananas? What kid is not repulsed by finding the forgotten bananas fermenting in the pantry? Ech... Maybe brown banana bread, but not brown bananas.

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 08/12/2003 09:30 AM EST

So, does ANYONE prefer Pepsi to Coke? It's pretty popular, so I guess there's gotta be a couple of you out there... I don't know, stuff always tasted terrible to me. Can't beat the real thing, for my money.

Chestnuts roasted by The Lucky One @ 08/12/2003 09:55 AM EST

For some reason, the "carrots" look more like Fred Flintstone's necktie to me. Here's a thought ... the blue carrots are from a busted cereal line. Do you think Kellogg's had silos full of these taste treats and had to dump 'em somewhere before they went stale? Apple Jacks are already strange enough as a cereal goes ... add something from the prop table of "Lost In Space" and see if anyone cares or notices!

Chestnuts roasted by POP CULTURE DEBRIS @ 08/12/2003 10:37 AM EST

Just give me a frosty mug of A&W Root Beer (not that shitty Barq's crap) and my need for dark carbonated beverages is sated.

And just when I thought cereals couldn't get dumber (they give away CDROMs now. Very lame), they add blue carrots that don't taste like carrots. In an apple cereal that doesn't taste like apple. Of course, I don't think Apple Jacks taste much like cereal, either. More like sugary cardboard.

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 08/12/2003 10:39 AM EST

I've had orange disks before, they tasted... orange. What I think they meant was "slices of orange." Still, orange disks sounded a bit cooler, despite the confusion.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 08/12/2003 10:56 AM EST

Apple Jacks always did taste pretty much like apples to me. It wasn't like any of the other cereals were really supposed to taste like the things they represented. It's like how jelly bellies freak you out because they taste so much like buttered popcorn...but the texture's so off it screws with your head. So I guess cereals have to taste a certain amount different. Besides, with that much sugar, I don't think it would be possible to taste like anything but sucrose.

and as for the contest, I'm pretty sure it was fixed. Orange discs, brown bananas or blue carrots? Brown bananas won't be chosen because they're ugly and orange discs are just plain stupid. Blue carrots had the unfair advantage. I'm pretty sure they already started mass production of these carrots before the contest was even published.

As for breakfast, I'm gonna stick to plain Cheerios with a pile of sugar dumped on them. At least it looks like I'm eating healthy.

Chestnuts roasted by Omni @ 08/12/2003 11:47 AM EST

I'm just glad Apple Jacks doesn't have some retarded mascot. God I hate that "Coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs" bird. Never really liked Apple Jacks, or Pepsi for that matter.

Chestnuts roasted by Saithe Verity @ 08/12/2003 11:48 AM EST

Vanilla Pepsi is AWFUL. It tastes fake and metallic. Don't really like Vanilla Coke either; but I DO wish they'd bring back the -real- Cherry Coke from circa mid-90's. That was good stuff, that.

Chestnuts roasted by fnu @ 08/12/2003 11:50 AM EST

Talking of things Matt has forgotten about...

*cough* Advent Calendar *cough*

Chestnuts roasted by JJ @ 08/12/2003 12:53 PM EST

I love Pepsi, because I drank so much Coke growing up. Since it was an addiction, I eventually had to step up the sweetness and move on to Pepsi. It feels good to be part of the 'New Generation' with Michael J. Fox and Michael "Burning Curls" Jackson.

Just did a Goodbody search and it turn out that Mr. Slim is still going!
http://www.slimgoodbody.com/
Here is Matt Stone as Slim:
http://laurenharman.tripod.com/halloween/images/photos/stone.jpg

Chestnuts roasted by Michael @ 08/12/2003 12:56 PM EST

I just realized something else--Has anyone else "experienced" Pepsi Blue (you can't just taste it)? That was another marketing fiasco brought about by a marketing company that figured out that young people want excessively sweet beverages with a blue colour. I'd bet that the Blue Carrots are part of that same research.

Too bad the Pepsi Blue had all the appeal of blue laundry detergent. Of course, it could never get as dumb as New Coke (someone had to say it).

Chestnuts roasted by Sean @ 08/12/2003 01:26 PM EST

Let Me Holla At Cha Playa!!!!
First of all to Saithe Verity about Apple Jacks Mascot. Don't you think them crackin ass cracka kids was mascot enough?

And now fo a Photog Hi-Ku

Where In Da Heezy
Is Photog Whtitey Beelee
Dat Holdin Him Back

Beelee dat playa

Chestnuts roasted by Theodore R. Long @ 08/12/2003 01:42 PM EST

All I see are penises and vaginas.

Chestnuts roasted by lilmisstramp @ 08/12/2003 02:08 PM EST

When I first heard of this promotion, it didn't really surprise me. It seemed to fit wonderfully.

It wasn't until I thought about it that I realized how strange it is. This means that Kellogg's has some deeper understanding of my subliminal mind than I do, which is disturbing.

Chestnuts roasted by Ubu Rex @ 08/12/2003 02:37 PM EST

For a real good "Vanilla Coke" add Stoli Vanilla Vodka to regular Coke. A great tasting way to get drunk! I'll let you decide on the ratio....

Chestnuts roasted by Brewthos @ 08/12/2003 03:38 PM EST

I find pepsi and coke both the same , i don't think i'd consously (i know the spelling is way off)pick one over the other.
Has anyone had some of that orange mountain dew? Is it delicious as it sounds?

Chestnuts roasted by Hoss Leg @ 08/12/2003 03:43 PM EST

That orange mountain dew tastes like generic Orange Soda. So, it depends, does it sound delicious?

And I, for one, prefer Pepsi over Coke, and I prefer Apples over Jacks.

Chestnuts roasted by Stan @ 08/12/2003 04:24 PM EST

I've always been partial to Coke, mostly because I was obsessed with the old style glass bottles they released around Christmas every year. It's the Christmas Cola. :)

The Pepsi Twist is pretty great, though.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 08/12/2003 04:25 PM EST

Mah mama tol' me dat 'em blue caruts just ain't naturl. God don't wan' us to ha' no blue caruts.

Oh yeah, and count me as the lone Pepsi fan. Coke can jump up my nether regions.

Chestnuts roasted by Cubicle Monkey Extraordinaire @ 08/12/2003 04:57 PM EST

what next orange onions, purple corn, pink peas, green apples????

Posted by slap happy jack @ 08/11/2003 10:53 PM EST

well...green apples arnt just part of your imagination..they are real.

Chestnuts roasted by TJ @ 08/12/2003 05:24 PM EST

I tried Pepsi Blue. Pepsi Blue=Blue Poo. In more ways than one. It's awful.

What was I getting at? Not sure entirely. Oh yeah. I've seen Cereals with better than CD-ROM's. I've seen 'em packed with DVD's. Kid's movies (Air Bud type crap) and Olympic memories thingamabobs. Not bad deals for kids. I still remember getting a Dino doll in a box of Coco Pebbles when I was a kid and that was a HUGE cereal prize.

PS. Review WCW Thunder

Chestnuts roasted by Nate-o=mac @ 08/12/2003 08:05 PM EST

Ok just one thing to say MOUNTIAN DEW OWNS ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by mmg2000000 @ 08/12/2003 08:12 PM EST

well i hated apple jacks cause they tasted like shit. As far as the Coke and Pepsi. Pepsi has this taste like it's a diet soda, makes me sick. But coke has a taste that gives an all around good feeling. As for the vanilla coke bobble head i was unable to find one at the coke store in vegas.

Chestnuts roasted by Westside_Paintballa @ 08/12/2003 08:21 PM EST

This is how I equate Pepsi Blue, to me it taste like Soapy Blueberry Seltzer. I hated it. Orange Mountain Dew aint bad, just nothing special although Code Red is pretty good.

Chestnuts roasted by Big Will @ 08/12/2003 08:22 PM EST

I fear the world has gone mad...... DELICOUSLY MAD!!

Chestnuts roasted by Steve @ 08/12/2003 09:34 PM EST

I should add that although my love for Pepsi is deep, Coca-Cola is still great when mixed properly in a fountain. I have to be eating and really thirsty to drink Coca-Cola from a bottle or can, while I have to just be eating to enjoy a Pepsi.

Chestnuts roasted by Michael @ 08/12/2003 10:27 PM EST

Blue phallic symbols in my cereal. Lets dig in.

Chestnuts roasted by Doug @ 08/13/2003 12:03 AM EST

I guess I'm strange because I gave up sodas altogether about a year ago because of stomach problems and now I can't stand them. They taste way to sweet and the carbonation makes me burp all night.

Chestnuts roasted by Tikibob @ 08/13/2003 12:06 AM EST

Oh, and slim goodbody was the man on Captain Kangaroo back in the day

Chestnuts roasted by Tikibob @ 08/13/2003 12:07 AM EST

I refuse to eat Apple Jacks because the cartoons are friggin obnoxious. Smarmy kids and there "We eat what we like!" bullshit. Why don't parents in commercials ever beat their snotty little children?

As for the new soda variations lately (or pop or tonic for our friends in other parts of the world), Pepsi Blue was by far te worst. It was like Pepsi, mixed with berry juice, mixed with the Devil's ass. Vanilla Coke has an odd aftertaste that I don't like. The Lemon variations are both ok, think I prefer Pepsi's to Coke (I'm a Pepsi drinker for the most part). Montain Dew Code Red is so sweet it burns my mouth (course regular MD does that too). The Sprite Tropical Remix isn't bad, but I think you could just add a dash of orange soda to Sprite and get the same result.

Personally, I say they can all go to hell, I'll stick with IBC Root Beer.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 08/13/2003 12:22 AM EST

Definitely avoid the cherry Dr. Pepper, whatever it's called, I forgot. Holy shit, that stuffs like drinking melted candy.

Blech.

Chestnuts roasted by Stan @ 08/13/2003 01:49 AM EST

I'm a Pepsi man myself. Coke has that rusty/gritty feeling. Although I agree with Michael, if fixed right out of a fountain, Coke is good. I only tried Vanilla Coke once. The vanilla was way over powering, it was like drinking from a bottle of extract. Could have gotten a bad bottle.

I have to admit that I have been drinking Cherry Coke a lot for the past week now. Haven't seen Cherry Pepsi since Christmas.

I have to say the Pepsi blue was awful, but the worst tasting pop is Sprite Ice. Imagine drinking a bottle of spearmint mouthwash. Ack!

Chestnuts roasted by Liquidduck @ 08/13/2003 06:12 AM EST

Isn't Dr Pepper Cherryish anyway?

My votes in for 'Lipton's iced tea with lemon'. mmmm stupidly-long-named goodness.

Plus they use the Diff'rent strokes theme tune on their ad, so that gives them a gold star straight off.

The content of the advert however, takes it down to a silver.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt-The-Gr7 @ 08/13/2003 08:37 AM EST

> Why don't parents in commercials ever beat their snotty little children?

A question for the ages. Another one: why do parents put their kids on TV and in the movies? Miko Hughes They know that mean people like me are just going to spend an hour or two hating on the kid. Miko Hughes

> The carrot and ring shapes are very good at creating little edible visual allegories for
> sex.

Think the religious Right will picket? Actually, you'd think they'd picket when it was only the Os -- they're generally against that sort of homo...geneity.

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 08/13/2003 10:10 AM EST

Apparently at one point Apple Jacks DID have a mascot.

http://theimaginaryworld.com/pix120.jpg

Combining the two subjects....has there ever been a cola/soda flavored cereal? I can't believe "Coca Cola Crunch" hasn't even been test-marketed somewhere down the line...:)

Oh and I pretty much like all things Coke over Pepsi. But at least Pepsi got rid of that annoying brat they had in their ads for awhile.

Chestnuts roasted by Garrison @ 08/13/2003 11:04 AM EST

Pepsi Blue = Diet Perfume.

When the soda you drink reminds you of your last girlfriend, there's a real problem somewhere.

Chestnuts roasted by JT @ 08/13/2003 12:43 PM EST

Dr. Pepper is actually almond flavored coke. Put a drop or 2 of almond extract( or amaretto for that matter)into a glass of coke and taste it!

Chestnuts roasted by Kteacher @ 08/13/2003 03:41 PM EST

I personally love the code red and livewire variations of mountain dew. Also love vanilla coke. Vanilla pepsi tastes like what you would expect it to taste like. Pepsi with vanilla in it. Wow. It's certainly not bad though, despite my sarcasm.
Pepsi blue wasn't the worst thing I've ever tasted but it wasn't great either.
Cherry dr pepper isn't much different from regular dr pepper. Heh.

Chestnuts roasted by GJ @ 08/14/2003 03:27 AM EST

Pepsi Blue is devil spawn. When it first came out I thought it looked good so I got it at a baseball game. Big mistake. First off I paid like $4 for a 20oz. Then I find out it tastes like ass. Bad day for me. Damn those overpriced baseball conglomerates!
On another note, I prefer Coke from a fountain, but Code Red anywhere else. I never really liked the flavored sodas like Cherry Coke, unless it was made with that cherry juice stuff. Same for the vanilla juice stuff you can get at coffee shops. I love it in Coke or Pepsi, but I loathe Vanilla Coke.
I would also recommend asking for cherry Mountain Dew when you are at a restaurant sometime. Its like Code Red, but much cooler. It doesn't taste as fake.

And just to stay on topic...Carrots in Apple Jacks are retarded.

Chestnuts roasted by Troy @ 08/14/2003 11:21 AM EST

FYI in the Coke/Pepsi debate. In a completely un-scientific experiment I performed as a child, Coke ate through a child's tooth faster than any other major soda on the market at that time.

I was quite the mad genius in my youth!

Chestnuts roasted by Bigshow71 @ 08/14/2003 07:51 PM EST

Didn't they say they'd keep the green Apple Jacks?

Chestnuts roasted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 08/14/2003 10:31 PM EST

Why the hell would someone put carrots in a cereal? WTF?! Carrots are veggies and veggies in cereal is just plain wrong. Like Granny hitting on your boyfriend wrong. Shonen ai shota wrong. Transformers hentai wrong.... Um....well its just wrong. Yeah.

Pepsi Blue tastes like chewed up gummy bears, and not in the Dinosaur Ice Pops sorta way. Vannila Pepsi tastes like Pepsi w/ vanilla....the coke version is better, way better. Betcha this whole color thing stems from that "colored ketchup/condiments" ploy that swept thru the nation. Anyone else here thinking that the Food Market wants to completely destroy our sense of taste? For that, I suggest packaged Ramen with whole milk, Megatokyo style.

Chestnuts roasted by Dio @ 08/18/2003 09:40 PM EST

I've seen the Apple Jacks with Blue Carrots at the Acme, and all I can say on that subject is...the world must be coming to an end.

As for soda, I don't have preferences as far as regular old cola, though I have picked up a fondness for Vanilla Coke. Have yet to try the Vanilla Pepsi. Tried the Livewire Moutain Dew and wasn't impressed - just orange soda, not bad but nothing special.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 08/19/2003 01:31 AM EST

Why oh why, can't I get any Livewire Mountain Dew in [Eastern] Canada. We have the Code Red stuff, but not the orange. Ah well.
Bring back Cherry Pepsi!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Liquidduck @ 08/19/2003 03:39 AM EST

Pepsi... oh god Pepsi is so vastly superior it isn't even funny.

My complaint though is there seem to be some problems at the company. All the variant forms of Mt. Dew are wonderful. Code Red was astoundingly good and Livewire is so profoundly amazing that I can scarely believe it (though it does taste like carbonated Tang as opposed to orange Mt. Dew I still love it). I'm not quite certain if they actually plan on removing it at the end of the summer and woe be to them who try! Nevertheless, all the Pepsi variants sucks: crystal pepsi, pepsi blue, lemon pepsi (WTF were they thinking?), and now the unpleasant vanilla pepsi. Still, vanilla coke was a travesty... vanilla soda should remain the province of the soda fountain and shitty faux-50s theme restaraunts exclusively!

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