08/08/2003 Entry: "X-E plugged in Business Week..."

Bill from Ape Child was nice enough to write in and let me know that we were both plugged in the new issue of Business Week for our respective takes on McDonald's syrupy morning death, the McGriddles. Apparently, sales for the sandwiches have been incredibly phenomenal, so I guess they're here to stay. The coverage on Bill's site does point out a particular perk I overlooked: these things would work great as a hangover cure. Always nice to see people taking notice, so I'd thank Business Week, but really, aside from this, what have they done for me lately? Nothing!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 08/08/2003 05:59 PM EST

Let Me Holla At Cha Playa....
Well, well, well. Matt is finally making it to the big time. Thuggin And Buggin up in Business Week. Beelee dat playa. but you better believe that McDonalds is next on our list. You see Matt, Where do you think they came up with the idea for the Big Mack? Dats right, da Mack family, forefathers of none other than Rodney Mack. Beelee dat playa. You know it had to be a Black man to come up with the wholesome goodness that is a Big Mack. Beelee dat playa. McDonalds been assassinatin the character of da Black people world wide by stealing day food ideas and then payin them minmum wages to flip they burgers. Beelee dat playa. And then when some of those disenfranchised poor black people need food, what do they give us? A Dollar Menu. Beelee dat playa. And what's on da dollar menu you ask? The most vile and smallest portioned foods you eva seen. McRib?? McDonalds don't know how to make no ribs. Beelee dat playa. Order of Fries? You get about 2 fries if dat order. McDonalds be haterizing on da black man errday and it's about time.... matter a fact, I'ma send Jazz ova to da nearest Micky Dee's and let the know that the Bitch Is Back. Beelee dat playa.

Chestnuts roasted by Theodore R. Long @ 08/08/2003 06:20 PM EST

Congrats on the shout out from BusinessWeek, Matt. (I'm a first-time poster, longtime reader BTW)

While I'm here, I thought I'd pitch you a little idea: The recent Bitner/Photog and Ecto Cooler blogs have shown that your readers love to jump onto a mystery. So I thought, what if you manufactured some kind of massive mystery for your readers to solve, kind of like what they did for the "A.I." movie some years back. I don't really have a storyline in mind, but it would definitely have THE FUTURE OF X-ENTERTAINMENT AND THE UNIVERSE ITSELF hinging on the mystery being solved.

I have a feeling that this would require more time to plan than you actually have though (but maybe you could team up with another site or two too). Lemme know what you think! :)

Chestnuts roasted by Aberration @ 08/08/2003 06:51 PM EST

Oh yeah, I forgot, you'd probably want to throw in a prize or two to rally the masses, although the Bitner thing has kinda proven that this crowd doesn't seem to mind the thrill of the chase.

Chestnuts roasted by Aberration @ 08/08/2003 06:53 PM EST

Good for you Matt, it's nice to know that Business Week has the cajones to run true journalism. But to more pressing matters that I think only x-e'ers(?) can help with. Haven't tasted one but not really a breakfest food type of person, and McDonalds isn't what I think of as good meal.
I have just realized something that either frightens me or gives me hope but here goes: Scott Baio is a genius. Let that sink in, now a guy that has been panned as much as Scott Baio isn’t exactly our nation’s most beloved “actor” but yet he remains a genius and here is why, I’m sure that Scott Baio has money. Now I’m not talking about millions here but the fact is that he must have some because Happy Days, Charles In Charge, Diagnosis Murder and to a lesser extent Joanie Loves Chachi are all in syndication (less said about Baby Talk the better). Separate these things don’t mean a whole lot but combined it’s a nice income that should support him until he dies. Secondly, he has friends he can mooch off of, I can’t tell you how many times I have seen him in the background of premiers and crap like that, and since he’s not exactly setting my tv ablaze with his performances I can only guess that he knows people that let him in (large leap in logic I know but I can’t think of any other reason for his existence at such places, if you have better theories please help). The final and most important reason is that this guy, who is often the butt of jokes, has slept with a lot of Hollywood babe types and lets be honest here gentlemen (you too Molten) that means “something”. Don’t quite know what…but it’s something. Here’s a pretty accurate list of women that have felt the pain of Chachi’s stinger, spanked by Charles, and got drilled by Joe the handyman (though the chances are slim if any of these women find out about this list and weren’t subjugated to the Baio experience then I apologize for your inclusion, these are claims that he has made at one time or another, possibly after doing a few lines): Pamela Anderson, Erika Eleniak, Sammantha Fox, Tiffani Thiessen, Jennifer Runyon, that red headed student from Head of the Class, Nicole Eggert, April Lerman, Josie Davis, Ellen Travolta, Brooke Shields, Liza Minnelli, Julienne McNamara, Joanie Cunningham, and Evee from Out of This World. Anyway you slice it that is damn impressive, if not socially disturbing and scarier then Devil’s Rain.
Agree, disagree, like giving opinions on matters that shouldn't warrant them? Then please comment.
"Hands up, who likes me?"

Chestnuts roasted by Happnin' Mojo @ 08/08/2003 07:59 PM EST

Mr Baio, like some other former sit-com actors, smartened up and moved behind the camera to direct. Plus, there are straight-to-video and TV movies to help keep him busy. http://us.imdb.com/Name?Baio,+Scott

"Zapped!" was, and is, pure genius. Just ask Willie "Bibleman" Aames: http://www.bibleman.com/

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 08/08/2003 08:33 PM EST

EWWWWW, McGriddles. My arteries clog just thinking about it.

Chestnuts roasted by Melanie @ 08/08/2003 10:33 PM EST

X-E in Business Week...that is just so surreally cool. Congratulations on reaching a whole new demographic. I'll be looking for the write up on Fat Daddy in Women's Home Journal any day now.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 08/08/2003 10:57 PM EST

Wow, seems like only yesterday when I visited your not-so-famous site though it was years ago. Now you're big! Congrats :) Btw, do you have a button of logo I can link your site with? Where's the cute Ms Pacman Logo, can't seem to find it now!

Damn, why don't we get stuff like McGriddles? The Quarter Pounder was just introduced here last week(!!), how behind are we?!?

Chestnuts roasted by gurge @ 08/09/2003 12:32 AM EST

You think the Quarter Pounder is something to marvel at, with all it's greasy meat-like goodness, wait until you get a load of the DOUBLE Quarter Pounder. Now that's a heart attack in a translucent paper wrapper!

Chestnuts roasted by Bubbalicious @ 08/09/2003 01:31 AM EST

Hey, any Canadians know if McDonald's has the McGriddles in Canada yet? Lately I've been sleeping in until at least 11 a.m., and my crappy little burgh (Pincourt, 35 km southwest of downtown Montreal) doesn't even have a McDonald's... but, if I knew I could get one of those things, it would almost be worth getting up at 7 a.m. one day and making the hour-long trek by foot to the McDonald's in Vaudreuil-Dorion... at least I could burn it off on the way back.

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 08/09/2003 02:11 AM EST

Yep, we have the McGriddles in Canada as well. I wasn't too impressed. There's just something not right about eating bacon or sausage with syrup... it left a horrific taste in my mouth for the rest of the day after eating it. Kind of like a mix between a japanese donkey's puke and the unmistakable fart smell that seems to stagnate in any place close to farmlands. I would have been able to get the same experience and saved 3 bucks if I just asked someone to sit on my mouth and pass some gas, then wash that down with some bacon and gooey eggs.

Chestnuts roasted by Halibut @ 08/09/2003 05:51 AM EST

now that you've been mentioned in business week, are you going to finish the advent calendar?

Chestnuts roasted by 'tin man @ 08/09/2003 08:57 AM EST

thats some cool beans but for some odd reason i think your still working for Cobra an when i do find you out Matt, me and the Ganja Commandos will put a stop to you are your evil

Chestnuts roasted by CheebaSmoker @ 08/09/2003 01:38 PM EST

did that guy say "beelee dat"?

HA!

Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 08/09/2003 01:55 PM EST

Like I just saw an article in the newspaper about strawberry shortcake!

Chestnuts roasted by kdtkkv @ 08/09/2003 08:28 PM EST

The McGriddle WILL you make you regular again and how!; the Sausage does not belong with Syrup and Eggs may NOT be that runny unless you cooked 'em that way yourself. But hey, no one ever said that laxatives were supposed to taste good. If you could customize it yourself like a subway, then McD might have something there...

Theodore, your 'bits' are becoming as regular as the anal leakage following an Egg and Sausage McMuffin fart. Gotta follow up with posts later big dog! Can't wait to see you on the next blog

Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 08/09/2003 09:19 PM EST

I can't wait to see all the up-tight business men/women that come check out the site after reading that. Get out your nit-pickin hats everybody!

Chestnuts roasted by The Ponderer @ 08/09/2003 11:40 PM EST

matt do you know what control you have over me. After the mc gridle artical i went out and got one. after the ecto cooler artcials i went and got some tangogreen Hi-C.
Matt you truly are a god.

Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 08/09/2003 11:51 PM EST

Hi-C better be on sale this week because i want some now!!! I tried some new hawaiian punch green berry blast or something today and wow it was powerful! and green! Good stuff!

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 08/10/2003 01:43 AM EST

I just realized something...that drink is powerful, green, and called punch. All of these relate to Hulk who is Powerful Green guy that likes to Punch. Maybe this drink is a subliminal marketing campaign run by Hulk, trying overcome our minds...and wallets.

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 08/10/2003 01:46 AM EST

Let's get down ta bidness. Krappy Kat, Let Me Holla At Cha Playa!!!
Initally I was only gonna post once a week. But you see, because of rap music (I'm partial to Foriegner myself, them whiteboys can play) and da like, the black man is popula. Beelee dat playa. But dat don't mean he's respected. You can demand and still haterize, beelee dat playa. But to be honest wit cha playa, I don't want ta assassinate my own character and become lame. Beelee dat playa. But I got a short story for ya. Beelee dat playa. If you remember, my previous struggles brought me to a poplar convience chain dat aint so convienent. You see White-Aid, as you be knowin as Rite-Aid sold me Hulk pops and aint give me no collectable card in da box. You see, I know it says "Randomly Inserted". But dats just anotha way of saying "if ya White, it's alright, if ya Black, ya gets nun."
So anyway, I went there wit da attention of giving dem a Mack attack, but I said to myself "Hold up TRL brotha, if they got me some Ecto-Cooler a.k.a Shoutin Tangagreen, then I would forgive them." Beelee dat playa. And I gose down da isle and they got Hi-C aight, but only one flava, and dat wasn't Tangagreen. Beelee day playa. So ta make a long story short, the stock boy aint even last 5 minutes and the sound system was playin some sweet sweet Jazz. Beelee dat playa.

Chestnuts roasted by Theodore R. Long @ 08/10/2003 02:10 AM EST

Teddy Long polishes my shoes.

Chestnuts roasted by Rich white male @ 08/10/2003 02:41 AM EST

Alright, I believe that, Ted. (I think...) So you got in a fight with with some kid at Rite-aid because they didn't have Ecto-Cooler Hi C? But I guess that's ok, Matt's probably done it too (just don't understand you two get outta the shit!)

-Krappy "My double vision gets the best of me" Kat, feeling down n'dirty, feeling kinda mean

Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 08/10/2003 10:10 AM EST

I will never ever ever ever ever ever eat anything ever ever ever again from McD's. They made me awful ill in junior high... think if you bit into your McNuggets and they were cool and pink on the inside... so years later, I haven't had to endure their crap... their "adult" sandwich line, whatever they were called, their "salad shakers", and now this.

On a side note.... I'M WEARING JAMS!! Jams and an nWo Tshirt.. Why? BECAUSE I CAN!!! To quote Les Claypool... "no one can see me...no one should see me..." (sigh)... it's a freaking hot day in New Orleans, and I'll do whatever I can to stay out of that sun. And that includes playing a little Kid Icarus....while wearing JAMS!!!... I needs me some O-R-E-O's...Nabisco! (ding!)

Chestnuts roasted by Nachokhaki @ 08/10/2003 06:07 PM EST

No full-size scan of the article for us to read? Or is there a link somewhere ...

Chestnuts roasted by Al Boondy @ 08/10/2003 08:21 PM EST

It's available as a link on their site, but you need to be a paid member, blahblahblah. Bill from Ape Child wrote in to ask about reprinting the scan, to which they asked 2,000 bucks for 90 days or something like that. Something too high. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 08/10/2003 08:28 PM EST

rainbow brite ain't cheap
http://half.ebay.com/cat/buy/prod.cgi?cpid=1954059&meta_id=3

dang she's as big as a giraffe on the box!

Chestnuts roasted by cghvjd @ 08/10/2003 10:26 PM EST

You know I was about ready to declare the Teddy Long schtick played out ("jumped the shark" as the kids are fond of saying nowadays), but then he dropped that Foreigner line on us.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 08/10/2003 11:51 PM EST

Mojo...
Finally, someone else who feels the Scott Baio love! He's like the poor man's Treat Williams...Scott Baio is EVERYWHERE!

I've been kicking around an idea for a new sitcom, starring Scott Baio and Scott Wolfe...the second coming of "Perfect Strangers", they play unlikely roomates who get up to all kinds of wacky hijinks. The title of this new must-see TV juggernaut? "Scott BaioWolf." Genius! I imagine all sorts of hilarious spots including their neighbor Grendel and his grizzled, curmudgeon-y mother (hopefully portrayed by Estelle Getty of "Golden Girls" fame)...it'll be huge! All I need now is the start-up capital; anyone want to get in on the ground floor?

Chestnuts roasted by Queen of Ill Repute @ 08/11/2003 09:08 AM EST

Garbage Pail Kids, Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Pony, and 10 games in 1 Atari joystick: http://money.cnn.com/2003/07/30/news/companies/toy_story/index.htm

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 08/11/2003 12:20 PM EST

My apologies to Gordon Shumaway Jr, who already posted the CNN link in the Bitner thread.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 08/11/2003 12:23 PM EST

Shumway, I meant Shumway.

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 08/11/2003 12:24 PM EST

For the record, I'm here to defend sausage and syrup. Do not assume that just because the McGriddle is Satan's Sammich that sausage and maple syrup do not go together. They do. Just not MCDONALD'S sausage and syrup. A real breakfast, consisting of pancakes and sausage (and eggs too, maybe) proves that if you slab a little of the runoff from the pancakes onto the sausage, it's delicious. It also tastes pretty good dipped in egg yolk if your eggs are over easy.

Chestnuts roasted by Kev @ 08/11/2003 01:11 PM EST

Speaking of Strawberry Shortcake...would you guys check out my comic (or the whole site if you are feeling generous) and tell me what you think? www.geocities.com/kenneftorres
thanks a bunch :)

oh...and the XE Fluff comic is still there if you haven't seen it. It's got a cartoon version of Matt...wokka wokka wokka!

Chestnuts roasted by Kennef @ 08/11/2003 01:20 PM EST

...Wokka wokka wokka wokka wokka wokka wokka wokka...

(Not an incredibly long Fozzie impersenation, BTW, Pac-Man noises.)

...Wokka wokka wokka wokka wokka...

Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 08/11/2003 01:58 PM EST

It's all coming full circle.
First, Ecto-Cooler mystery is solved.
Next, Mattel is to release the new Battle Bones and Snake Men toys.
Now, there are at least 3,000 Oreo variants.
This can only point to one thing: THE SECOND COMING OF PHOTOG.

Discuss.

Chestnuts roasted by Ian, Just Ian @ 08/11/2003 04:30 PM EST

Tried to read Kennef's Strawberry Shortcake comic but he's exceeded his allocated data transfer! This is a good thing ... supply versus demand and all that. I'll have to peek at it tomorrow ... and hey, I'll plug my own site here for those of you looking to check interesting stuff out. No Strawberry Shortcake, but I do talk about William Bendix Pirate Records and the horror of "A Christmas Story" action figures!

Chestnuts roasted by POP CULTURE DEBRIS @ 08/11/2003 05:04 PM EST

I think it's an OREO conspiracy.

"The truth is not there".

Chestnuts roasted by Posted by! @ 08/11/2003 05:26 PM EST

You all might be wondering what happened to Theodore Long. Well, you see, he has not finished his chores yet so I will not let him near a computer. He still has shoes to polish, siding to fix, and juice to squeeze. Perhaps if he does a good job, I will give him a blanket for when he goes to sleep in his box by the furnace.

Chestnuts roasted by Rich White Male @ 08/11/2003 05:31 PM EST

Hey, new blog format. Pretty neat, Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 08/11/2003 06:28 PM EST

Daaaaaaaaang you geocities! Dang yoooooooooou! (pan out,end scene,and roll credits).

Chestnuts roasted by kennef @ 08/11/2003 07:16 PM EST

Mc. Griddle? Mc. Freakin' disgusting is what they should call it. It's like a slug crapped all over the box of buns.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Insatiable @ 08/11/2003 07:16 PM EST

This is a nifty looking blog. How will we ever resist the urge to start off all comments with "Dear Diary" and end or comments with "Alf is so dreamy, sigh".

Chestnuts roasted by Kennef @ 08/11/2003 07:24 PM EST

Matt, congrats on the nod from Businessweek (I think.). I loved the review of the McGriddles, although I have yet to try the things. I'm not ready to punish m digestive system quite that much yet. I did, however, try the bacon/egg biscuit recently, and the term "gutbomb" was never more appropriate. That's the last time I eat anything from McD's for awhile.

Chestnuts roasted by megx @ 08/11/2003 08:57 PM EST

I'm yet another one of those long time reader, first time writer kinda guys. I just had to re-read that thing on the McGriddle. Speaking of which, a day or so after reading the article, I had to try one myself. I must say the the bacon, egg and cheese McGriddle is quite good, though those frighteningly syrupy buns really saves it from just being a pile of crap. Unfortunately, it still looks like shit just because, ya know, it's McDonald's food.

Chestnuts roasted by Marc Swift @ 08/24/2003 06:35 PM EST

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