08/06/2003 Entry: "Transformers Top 11 & Water Ballzzzz."

This week's Top Eleven takes us back to Cybertron, as I randomly pick out the best Autobots and Decepticons who debuted in Transformers: The Movie. Now sure, some could argue that it's a pretty bogus list considering that there wasn't much more than eleven TFs to debut in the flick, but come on, you have no idea how difficult it was for me to cut Scourge. Labored and debated over that one for like forever and shit. If you were hoping for something a little more grounded in the action figure side of things, go back and check out this article from last September, about Rodimus, Galvatron and Party Animal Optimus Prime.

Oh, almost forgot. While at that Poconos flea market I talked about last week, we came across one item of particular interest. Remember that Madball character who was just a big, bloodshot eye? Oculus Orbus or something like that? Well, the market wasn't selling Madballs, but reasonable facsimiles aren't anything to balk at...

The Oculus Orbus Water Ball! You know, I didn't quite understand that whole "water ball" craze when my nieces and nephews kept pelting me in the balls with 'em, but now that I've had the chance to play with them myself, they're actually really fun. "Actually really." Sounds like a pitch from Heather to get Veronica to her first Remington party. Anyway, I think a few kids choked to death on these, so they're not usually sold in the big chain toy stores anymore. Fortunately, they're still sold everywhere else. Pick one up. You'll never put it down, even if it starts oozing on you.

http://www.bwtf.com/armada/toys/reviews/unicron/

Birthday Yeti's are evil!!!

Chestnuts roasted by tcuspe123 @ 08/06/2003 05:59 PM EST

Does anyone remember the universal greeting from the TF movie?

Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 08/06/2003 06:00 PM EST

heh my friend had one of those water balls one day and it popped and got all over the floor at Jamba Juice...it was only like a dollar so he didnt care.

Chestnuts roasted by heeloyd @ 08/06/2003 06:26 PM EST

In answer to Tornado;
BAH WEEP GRANAH WEEP NINNY-BAH!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Spike Spiegel @ 08/06/2003 06:30 PM EST

I actually think the last word to the greeting was 'bon.' But either way, I'm glad I'm not the only one that remembers it.

Chestnuts roasted by The Ponderer @ 08/06/2003 06:52 PM EST

I think Ponderer's right. You can judge for yourself by clicking here and listening very intently though.

Back on topic, I think the Sharkticons should be replaced by the Quintessons. There's something innately cool about evil magistrate robots with five faces and elegant facial hair. Or facial metal, maybe.

Chestnuts roasted by JC @ 08/06/2003 07:00 PM EST

Wow, that nailed all the new characters. Did they ever do anything with Scorch and his Sweeps? Thats such a bad ass name...Scorch.

You got the touch.
You got the power!

Chestnuts roasted by Yeti Hunter @ 08/06/2003 07:04 PM EST

I don't like transformers.... or star wars... I usually skip those articles. I just never got into them.

Does anyone remember the TGIF line-up? From the old school?

I remember it was:
Full House
Family Matters
Step By Step
?!?!?!?!?!
Dateline

What the heck came on before dateline. My friends and I remember Dinosaurs being on the lineup... but I think that was at a different time.

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 08/06/2003 07:05 PM EST

I remember having Springer,but my brother lost him on the school bus.

Chestnuts roasted by Overlord @ 08/06/2003 07:17 PM EST

Let Me Holla At Cha Playa.
You know, I could mos definatly berate matt about the lack of da Black Man on Transformers. Beelee dat playa. But I'm not here for dat today. Today I am here to pay a little more attention to myself for once. Beelee dat playa. I want to let Whitey.... I mean Matt know, he can greatly turn around his injustices by making a page specifically for The Teddy Long Call And Responce Page. Beelee dat playa. You see, I know most a ya'lls be Haterizing on the Black Man, but I can forgive that character assassination because as da good bibles says, "Ya'lls knows not what ya'lls do." Beelee dat playa. So I'm inviting you crackas to start Thuggin And Buggin on my new email address, which is mos defiatly Theodore_R_Long@yahoo.com and my profile http://profiles.yahoo.com/theodore_r_long and if Whitey is alrighty, he'd be da one to start a revolution right here on x-entertainment and give me the proper respect we deserve. Beelee dat playa. Da only thing dat scared me is that my comfirmation code was "heat". This better not be a threat White. i know big brotha always be watchin. Beeleedat playa.

Chestnuts roasted by Theodore R. Long @ 08/06/2003 08:00 PM EST

My younger siblings are crazy about those water balls, and I can see why. What's fun is when those things pop when your swinging them, water (or something) flies everywhere, leaving little wet sports on furniture and clothes.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 08/06/2003 08:08 PM EST

Yeah, I flubbed the universal greeting. Although, listening to that clip, I'm starting to wonder if it's actually "bong." Subliminal message, or just my imagination? I guess since Kup's pretty old, he might have picked it up in his more "wild" years/
"This reminds me of the time when...uhh..petrol rabbits and...uhh *puff* damn I forget."
Anyway, it's not "bah," so the world of cartoons has bested me once again.
Bah!

Chestnuts roasted by Spike Speigel @ 08/06/2003 08:16 PM EST

Straight for www.googlism.com...

Googlism for: matt caracappa

matt caracappa is hot just like an oven
matt caracappa is the founding member of the luis guzman appreciation society and is still trying to figure out how to get the poor guy into the adult films
matt caracappa is the coolest staten islander

Chestnuts roasted by Big Will @ 08/06/2003 08:41 PM EST

So very nostalgic.

Chestnuts roasted by Eric @ 08/06/2003 11:41 PM EST

.....scorch???????? ahem.....my name is scourge!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Scourge @ 08/06/2003 11:44 PM EST

perfect strangers was on the original tgif man come on

Chestnuts roasted by satas @ 08/07/2003 12:49 AM EST

Isn't the problem with not mentioning Wheelie on your list that you can't point out the amusing fact that he was stranded on that planet for God knows how many years and he's never heard of the Autobots, but he has a fricking Autobot emblem on his chest? Never could figure that one out...

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 08/07/2003 02:39 AM EST

Dateline? I'm pretty sure you mean 20/20 (John Stossel is the best). Dateline is an NBC show and we all know that TGIF was (and in the future will be) ABC. Of the shows that have been on TGIF these are the ones I (vaguely) remember: Family Matters, Step By Step, Boy Meets World, Hanging with Mr.Cooper, You Wish, Teen Angel, Clueless, Dinosaurs(I think), Full House, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and Perfect Strangers. I also vaguely remember that ABC would sometimes unveil new shows on TGIF as a sort of awareness tool (like Thea, and other crap). Two favorite moments, Balki as a ninja and the TGIF kids gushing over ABC saturday morning fare like the New Land of the Lost and the Pirates of Dark Water. Anything else I'm not sure really happened.
I'm only commenting on this cause they're bringing it back. That still doesn't comfort the loss of Andy Richter Controls the Universe, and for what! The god damn mother@%#*ing Pitts, I've said before and I'll say it again, FOX can't keep a good *new* show on the air.
As for squishy balls they are fun but are *not* yo-yos, they're more like those sticky things you get out coin venders at your local supermarket.

Chestnuts roasted by Happnin' Mojo @ 08/07/2003 03:12 AM EST

i read the top 11 transformers article, pretty cool, man.

but wheelie kicked arse. he kicked so much arse.

he was only my 2nd ever transformer toy you see, he was one of the original toy line up.

but why keep him off tv till the movie.?
my 1st transformer was cosmos, the green flying saucer.

thats why i liked wheelie anywY.

I WATCHED A TRANSFORMERS DVD AND I HAVE TO SAY IT BORED THE TITS OFF ME.

dont watch old kids shows. the only reason you enjoyed em was cos you were 5 or 6 years old.

but megatron was still cool. he should be made in a factory and get signed by the WWE.

and maybe teddy long can manage his original long lost brother, the japanese diaclone version.

Chestnuts roasted by 'tin man @ 08/07/2003 05:31 AM EST

Man, poor Orson Welles. I'm going to go listen to my old time radio CDs and rock back and forth while reminding myself of the consequences of rebellion and a contrary nature.

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 08/07/2003 08:18 AM EST

I don't think perfect strangers was the one I was thinking about... because family matters was a spin off of perfect strangers.... mrs. winslow was the elevator operator where Larry worked in perfect strangers.

Chestnuts roasted by Chad @ 08/07/2003 11:33 AM EST

Step by Step and Boy Meets World didn't start till the 90's.

'88-'89
Perfect Strangers, Full House, Mr. Belvedere, and Just the Ten of Us.

'89-'90
Full House, Family Matters, Perfect Strangers, and Just the Ten of Us.

After that it was Full House, Family Matters, Step by Step, and Boy Meets World

Chestnuts roasted by Diabetic Dinosaur @ 08/07/2003 01:42 PM EST

Pirates of Dark Water!! I'd forgotten about that show until you mentioned it, Mojo...I was a little old for cartoons when it came out, but due to my mad obsession with pirates I watched it every Saturday! Definitely rated AAARRRR!

20/20 was a big deal for me as an adolescent...but I swear I remember it coming on after Golden Girls?? Maybe Matt can clear it up?

Chestnuts roasted by Queen of Ill Repute @ 08/07/2003 01:47 PM EST

Boy meets world seems to be what everyone is telling me... I'm skeptical, but I believe it.. I just gotta remember back when Topenga was a huge geek, because I only remember boy meets world, with sexy ass topenga, that I wanna bang.

was dinosaurs ever on TGIF?

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 08/07/2003 02:54 PM EST

Why are we talking about shitty sitcoms?

Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 08/07/2003 03:47 PM EST

Jared: You do know what site this is, right?

Chestnuts roasted by Ubu Rex @ 08/07/2003 04:02 PM EST

:O MATT! SHAME ON YOU! Not mentioning Wreck-Gar's VOICE!

*fwap* Eric Idle deserves to be mentioned. ^^ I, personally, woulda put Springer first.
o.o He's kinda hot.

...for a robot.

Chestnuts roasted by Xanthe @ 08/07/2003 05:49 PM EST

To Matt and everyone else. Macho Man is Releasing a Rap Song!!!!!

As strange as this may sound, former WWE & WCW superstar "Macho Man" Randy Savage has released a rap song in which he disses many things, including Hulk Hogan. Here is the statement on his offical site:

"Be A Man" is one of the new singles from the Macho Man soon to be released CD. The song, even though a challenge to Hulk Hogan, looks to be a hit. A source that asked not to be named, has given us exclusive information with regards to the soon to be released CD. "This CD is packed with songs that are destined to be hits", stated the source. "With songs like, "Be A Man", "RU Ready", "It's A Macho Thang", and the in your face song, "Remember Me", this CD is sure to make a lot of waves in the music industry."

A source close to the Macho Man camp, told us "Macho Man paved a path in the wading pool of wrestling, now it's time for him to make bigger waves in the musical pool. And I just feel sorry for anyone that gets caught in the undertow."

Fucking A!

Chestnuts roasted by Big Will @ 08/07/2003 06:32 PM EST

Theodore, a quick holla to you dear playah, you are most certainly welcome to get all up our collective shiz', but as you probably guessed, we are far more interested, nay just DYING to know who YOUR fave movie transformers are. And besides, I'm pretty sure the Transformers are above the petty, petty concerns of the biologicals' race. As Megatron wisely put it, "They're ALL human germs!"

Tin man, I have experienced your same dilemma (as I have purchased BOTH sets of transformers TV DVDs and am about ready to throw up) and I have a little advice on proper viewing; there are always a few really cool episodes and surely you've got a personal hero amongst the bunch. I personally freak out whenever the 'mergers' form their super-robots and fight each other. And if you're going to just play all episodes, it might help if you get all hopped up on something first

Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 08/07/2003 07:48 PM EST

Big Will, any wrestler rap will pale in comparison to "Beach Patrol" from Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band (Jimmy Hart).

Hulk Hogan Recorded an Album?
http://www.angelfire.com/ny/lowbrow/beachpatrol.html

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 08/07/2003 09:16 PM EST

Krappy Kat, I think it's clear who Teddy Long's favorite Transformer is: Jazz, the one voiced by Scatman Crothers. Hell, he loved him so much, he now manages a female wrestler of the same name.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 08/07/2003 10:46 PM EST

BTW, I think there should be a rule that anyone who posts a quick comment just so they can say they're first post is mercilessly mocked and insulted by the rest of us.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 08/07/2003 10:47 PM EST

WWF vs. WWE? that's an article! Wrestlers bested by hippies!

It was hilarious when Macho man elbow dropped on a hamster!

TGIF? HAVE MERCY! All those shows suck!!! FYI dinosaurs was on thursdays for a while. TV led to tough choices sometimes: Cosby vs. Simpsons vs. Dinosaurs.

Chestnuts roasted by fxfghdf @ 08/07/2003 11:20 PM EST

in response to xanthe- Eric Idle having anything to do with a character would automatically disqualify it from inclusion. After python he became a worthless sellout, with no good ideas whatsoever. The comic deaths of him and cleese sadden me greatly. The best post-python python is Terry Gilliam.

Chestnuts roasted by spiralstairs @ 08/08/2003 12:13 AM EST

lol I luv those waterballs! I bought a red octopus one from claire's and I like to bring it with me when I shop lol! I call him *Octopussy* and *no one is allowed to play with my squishy pussy* or *touch my pussy* lol!!! Yeah I get weird looks :p

Chestnuts roasted by Katie @ 08/08/2003 12:40 AM EST

:o how sad, Spiral. John Cleese is my favorite Python. In Fawlty Towers, he was brilliant. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Xanthe @ 08/08/2003 02:21 AM EST

I second the motion, Hellpop, and hereby attach the following codecile; I suppose it's acceptable (grumble) to note one's first *commnet* as long as there is actual text IMMEDIATELY following said first *commnet*, and it had damn better blow away Whitman and Faulkner combined with its literary genius. Any commnets?

I totally forgot, but did Galvatron have the same voice (Frank Welker) as Megatron on the TV show? Or did Leonard Nimoy just keep doing him? (I kinda suspect not) And although a lotta foolishness happened during the movie, like the death of Starscream and the total spinelessness of Ultra Magnus (christ, his name just 'screamed' leader), you gotta admit that Unicron's head still floating around in space on the TV show was sheer poetry

Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 08/08/2003 03:46 AM EST

I own at least 4 of these...good fun good fun, I actually have one that looks like a ball and chain weapon..people tended to freak down town when I brought it out so I stopped...
by the way...you're really really good looking lol...sorry wanted to mention that...Im too blunt sometimes haha

Chestnuts roasted by Alison @ 08/08/2003 04:30 AM EST

Come on spiralstairs, give the old pythons a chance. Sure they're not doing anything as great as Brazil but you shouldn't hate them for that. I also think Gilliam is the best post python ("He's not English?!") but Palin gets to travel the world and talk about it and Jones is great as the host of the documentary series Sex in Ancient Times (I think that's what it's called). And yes Fawlty Towers is hilarious, but Idle sucked in Suddenly Susan.
I'll always see Orson Welles as the guy that did Citizen Kane (screw you Hearst!) but voice credit on the Transformer's movie is nothing to be ashamed of. Hey his last work could have been that frozen peas commercial, here's a few samples. Orson Welles:
"We know a remote farm in Lincolnshire where Mrs. Buckley lives. Every July, peas grow there."
There's no known way of saying an English sentence in which you begin a sentence with "in" and emphasize it. Get me a jury and show me how you can say "in July" and I'll go down on you.
"We know a certain fjord in Norway near where the cod gather in great shoals. There, Yonster, Stenglin ..." Shit.
This is a very wearying one; it's unpleasant to read. Unrewarding. "Because Finders freeze the cod at sea and then add a crumb-crisp co-- crumb-crisp coating." Ah. That's tough. "Crumb-crisp coating"-- No. You need to break it up. It's not written conversationally.
Here, under protest, is "beef burgers." "We know a little place in the American Far West where Charlie Briggs chops up the finest prairie-fed beef and tastes ..." This is a lot of shit, you know that? You want one more? More beef?
The right reading for this is the one I'm giving it. I've spent twenty times longer reading for you people than for any other commercial I've ever made. You are such pests. What is it you want? In the depths of your ignorance, what is it you want?
The funniest celebrity spot ever with the possible exception of Casey Kasem blowing up and letting rip a tirade of cursewords that would make Andrew Dice Clay slap his own sorry ass, used in a great "song" by Negative Land.
And yes Topenga was hot but not as hot as Carol Cleveland.

Chestnuts roasted by Happnin' Mojo @ 08/08/2003 04:43 AM EST

HAHA UBU REX YOU GOT A GOOD POINT

Chestnuts roasted by Jared @ 08/08/2003 01:36 PM EST

Jared: Thank you.

Chestnuts roasted by Ubu Rex @ 08/08/2003 09:50 PM EST

Ive got the new Unicron toy.

Its good.

And big.

Almost too big.

I have no place to put him so he is standing in front of a dresser since he is like so big he wont go anywhere else..

I mean, Fortress Maximus can at least be stored in robot mode and have many other toys displayed atop him.

Unicron isnt quite that lucky..

But he is big and impressive and he wants to eat your dog...

Chestnuts roasted by Bloodcat @ 08/09/2003 04:43 PM EST

The average life span of a water ball is about 4 hours. About 2 hours if you play with them. Trust me, don't buy the glittery ones unless you want to look like the sparkle fairy. Don't play with them in the pool either.

Chestnuts roasted by LioConvoy @ 08/09/2003 06:08 PM EST

My 10-year-old brother LOVES those water balls! He won a water ball that lights up when you hit it at the Wildwood Boardwalk a few montsh ago. He played with all the way to the North Wildwood end of the Boards, all the way home, and through the entire video of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie" we watched after we got back.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 08/16/2003 08:52 PM EST

Alison's a fag

Chestnuts roasted by R @ 02/16/2004 04:14 AM EST

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Chestnuts roasted by jonatan @ 07/02/2004 05:00 AM EST

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Chestnuts roasted by ulli @ 07/02/2004 05:01 AM EST