Welcome to the X-Entertainment Blog

[Previous entry: "Garbage Pail Kids: Cheap Toys & Crummy Candy!"] [Main Index] [Next entry: "asasasare243ffffgf"]

07/20/2003 Entry: "New Article: Quaker Oatmeal w/ Dinosaur Eggs!"

We've all seen 'em in the supermarkets, but if you're like me, maybe you actually haven't seen 'em up close. Now you can -- here's my review of Quaker's Instant Oatmeal, with Hatching Dinosaurs, possibly an omen of society drawing to its close. Really, you can't top dinosaurs that hatch in oatmeal -- we've got nowhere else to go but down. It's the breakfast that gives birth, and now we can find out if candy dinosaurs really do much to kill oatmeal's reputation of being boring.

REPLIES: 33 comments

My life has come full circle. I am the first to post. I can die knowing my life is complete. Thank you ... that is all. Now I will actually read the article.

Chestnuts roasted by sknyluv @ 07/20/2003 11:07 PM EST

I remember the only oatmeal I ever used to eat had gummy-ish read bears in them, only the gummys were greater than any gummy I had ever... Well I can't think of a word for "eaten" that starts with G... Does anyone else remember these?

Chestnuts roasted by CLMoose @ 07/20/2003 11:18 PM EST

Your mailman (or woman) better be DAMN grateful!

Good stuff matt, good stuff

Chestnuts roasted by Cyn @ 07/20/2003 11:35 PM EST

I'm never first. I have no reason to live!

Chestnuts roasted by Ooof! @ 07/21/2003 12:12 AM EST

That is no Undercover bears. My mom got sick eating the one that turned blue I think it had some kind of hatching fish in it or something.

Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 07/21/2003 12:18 AM EST

I laughed very hard at that mailman picture. New background!

Chestnuts roasted by Melanie @ 07/21/2003 12:21 AM EST

CLMoose I remember those too! Mmmm I luv this oatmeal Matt, only I opt for the right amount of water and a microwave :p. Those lil dinosaurs are tasty in my mind lol! Damn I miss that gummybear oatmeal...I liked the red ones :D

Chestnuts roasted by Katie @ 07/21/2003 02:57 AM EST

Man, I still have a box of that stuff lying around somewhere!

Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 07/21/2003 04:05 AM EST

With with all the 'Mario Van Peebles' jokes I've been seeing so much of lately?

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew @ 07/21/2003 04:37 AM EST

Sorry, that should be 'What's.

Chestnuts roasted by Andrew @ 07/21/2003 04:37 AM EST

I never knew...
So Americans only ad water to the oats? My mom allways used milk. Still boring ass hell tho.

Chestnuts roasted by Lodin @ 07/21/2003 08:49 AM EST

You got the kinds of dinosaurs reversed in the article... :\

Otherwise it was a really good article. I had that stuff once when I was really little. I remember begging my mom to get it and making it, but I don't remember looking at or eating it... Maybe I blacked out from crushed dreams from over-anticipation.

Chestnuts roasted by Kate @ 07/21/2003 10:16 AM EST

And here I thought that my daily oatmeal was vegetarian. Who knew that some random dinosaur snuck in at night and crapped fertilized eggs into it? That *would* explain what the hell keeps rooting up my radishes and herb garden.

I can see why they don't serve this stuff at dinner parties. Is dinosaur red or white meat? What kind of wine do you serve with that? Too much pressure. Too much fucking brown sugar too. No one who voluntarily eats oatmeal is going to destroy the health benefits of it by dousing that stuff in that much sugar. And if you're a kid, you're being forced to eat the stuff anyway. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, WILFORD BRIMLEY! IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 07/21/2003 10:55 AM EST

I bought some of this stuff for my friend for his birthday sometime in the past five years...he was much more excited than any 20something should have been...

Chestnuts roasted by Teddy Ray @ 07/21/2003 11:22 AM EST

I ate that stuff every day dor a year. I have a sad life

Chestnuts roasted by Minkis @ 07/21/2003 12:10 PM EST

Dude, I love oatmeal.. Ive been eating it since forever, and if you mix the Apples kind with the brown sugar kind.. I mean come ON! No dinosaur couldm compete with that. Especially when they are tiny dinosaurs.

Tiny green ones.

The red ones are cool.

I ate a fish...

Chestnuts roasted by Otaku Queen @ 07/21/2003 12:37 PM EST

Take a look at the last picture, the one at the bottom with Matt offering tribute to the mailman gods... you'll notice something very peculiar about this particular tribute. A lack of color perhaps? YOU SOLD OUT, MATT! You took all of your precious dinosaurs for your own gratification, and left your dear civil servant with, what? Leftover unwanted oats with entirely too much water! Your mailman must feel like Frylock after being given those sunglass/twigs by Meatwad. or shame, Matt, for shame. Rest asured the Postmaster General has been notified.

On a lesser note, notice how the "eggshells" magically disappeared? They didn't in Jurassic Park, but here they do? That tells you something about the acidic properties of tap water. Drink not of your tap, my friends. The overnemtn is slowly poisoning us; Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, and Ecto Cooler are deemed safe. alt.conspiracy.paranoid for more information.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mister! Watch out criminals... when I get pissed, you get mist!(TM) @ 07/21/2003 01:57 PM EST

Well, the dead ones were still at the bottom somewhere. I didn't totally fuck him over. :D

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/21/2003 02:04 PM EST

CLMoose, a word that starts with G and means eaten . . . gobbled.

Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 07/21/2003 02:08 PM EST

Okay, the Nike shoe ad has really got to go. It took me more than 10 tries just to get to the blog. (Nike ad loads, nothing else) On 56K, that's just frustrating.

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 07/21/2003 03:32 PM EST

Agreed - I'll shoot the right people an e-mail today to see what's up. They've been good about changing/removing the really awful ones in the past.

I hate Mondays.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/21/2003 03:37 PM EST

You only left him the dead dinosaurs? If I were your mailman, I'd dump that shit right in your mailbox, man. How cheap.

Chestnuts roasted by Captain Cid @ 07/21/2003 07:33 PM EST

My favorite oatmeal is the fruit and cream variety box.

So anyways, did the mailman actually eat the oatmeal?

Chestnuts roasted by freakachu @ 07/21/2003 10:08 PM EST

Uh ....Hey Matt, did you know that you need to actually cook oatmeal? I don't think you added too much water, i think you just didn't cook it right. Of course, you probably still wouldn't have eaten it, but you /could have/ if you wanted to at that point.

Oh, and great articles! Didn't want to be the A-hole that just came on and complained.

Chestnuts roasted by JohnnyCasino @ 07/22/2003 01:13 AM EST

Ya gotta add SOME water, but nowhere near as much as you added Matt.

Then you add in juuuussstttt enough milk to cool it down and make it look pretty. Then a couple spoonfulls of sugar, mix, and enjoy.

That's how you eat instant Oatmeal.

Instant Grits/Cream of Wheat is just water, enough so its just about as thick as proper mashed potatoes, then some pepper and butter. Crumbs from toast and a couple juicy sausages on top for extra flavor optional.

Hot breakfast cereals are an artform, a meal from a more civilized age, nothing so clumsy and random as cold cereals..

Chestnuts roasted by Bloodcat @ 07/22/2003 01:23 AM EST

I cannot eat oatmeal. I mean physically, I cannot eat it, the texture instantly activates my gag reflex. I've tried and tried, and it always ends in dry heaves, like someone did some kinda crazy Clockwork Orange thing to me and now I have an aversion to the stuff. Douse it in sugar and cinnamon, I still can't get the stuff down.

Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 07/22/2003 08:48 PM EST

Once My mom made oatmeal cookies with weird red lumps. When I asked what they were I was told that she used this oatmeal, thinking that the dinosaurs would retain their shape.

Chestnuts roasted by Ian @ 07/27/2003 02:41 AM EST

You can get a great range of Clothes and Accessories as worn or similar to what has been worn by celebrities including stuff like Accessories Hats at great cheap online prices. So whatever Accessories Hats you're looking for have a look at the clothes and accessories below for a great deal on all the latest a best Accessories Hats from the stars. Bathing Ape
Beverly Hills Pimps and Hos

Chestnuts roasted by urban apparel @ 01/03/2004 01:54 PM EST

Please check out some helpful info dedicated to omega omega http://www.all-brands-deals.info/ national finance center national finance center http://www.national-finance-center-ebanking.info/ atomic ski atomic ski http://www.top-ski-e-mall.info/ rolex watch replicas rolex watch replicas http://www.watch-replicas-deals.info/ bad credit personal loan bad credit personal loan http://www.bad-credit-personal-loan-advisor.info/ city mortgage national city mortgage national http://www.city-mortgage-national-e-site.info/ company mortgage company mortgage http://www.company-mortgage-e-site.info/ houston mortgage houston mortgage http://www.houston-mortgage-advisor.info/ mortgage marketing mortgage marketing http://www.mortgage-marketing-ebanking.info/ counseling debt counseling debt http://www.counseling-debt-4u.info/ car financing new car financing new http://www.car-financing-new-4u.info/ ...

Chestnuts roasted by amortization mortgage @ 11/02/2004 02:21 PM EST

Chestnuts roasted by amortization mortgage @ 11/02/2004 02:22 PM EST

Chestnuts roasted by amortization mortgage @ 11/02/2004 02:23 PM EST