Just finished this week's Top 11, and I swear, it's more interesting than the last Top 11. This time around, we tackle the best damn Draculas there ever were, from Bela to Blacula. There's a bonus feature that rewrites a really old X-E article you've probably never seen, and all in all, I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. You'll know when it's up. Because I'll TELL you.
The Go-Bot Sex File down below got a few links over the weekend -- looks like nobody can resist the tempation of watching evil robots sexually violate heroic robots. Can't say I blame 'em. Hey, at least it makes the terminally boring Go-Bots a helluva lot more interesting. They should employ a mechanical rape gimmick with more shows -- who needs Reality TV when you've got Leader-1 taking one for the other team?
I got sick this past weekend, presumably the result of a Papa Shango curse, so I've gotta finish up this week's print columns before I can move on to the X-E stuff. I've got a fun feature coming up about a 5.00 bag sale at a thrift shop, and you can guess where that's headed. I can't even remember what I threw in there during my thrift store frenzy, so until I pull the 500-pound garbage bag out of the car, I won't know if the shit's really article worthy or not. If it isn't, I'll post it here. Either way, count on seeing dirty plush animals and a few board games nobody's ever played in due time. If you were hoping for something a little more indulgent from the site on this typically boring Monday afternoon, uhhh, here's a picture of Big Stuff Oreos.
It's the cookie that kills. Commercial download coming soon. Beware.
REPLIES: 38 comments
First comment, yay! Big Stuf Oreos were "the bomb.com" So bad for the pancreas.
Chestnuts roasted by BaronVonHotPants @ 07/14/2003 02:46 PM EST
Glad you are feeling better, Matt.
I can't wait to see what's in the thrift store bag. Those are my favorite articles. Saves me from having to buy bags of mystery crap myself.
Chestnuts roasted by Kookie @ 07/14/2003 02:47 PM EST
I only wish I could find a nutritional label for the stuff -- it's a lot bigger than some might think. The sum mass has to be equal to at least 6-8 regular Oreos, and as for the creme, it's practically enough to ice a city. Must've made somebody really fat and explosive.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/14/2003 02:49 PM EST
Man I miss those big stuff that actually had a lot of filling. Now they are just so skinny. I'm looking foreward to a blog about somebody's old lunchbox and plush animals.
Chestnuts roasted by pikachulover @ 07/14/2003 03:00 PM EST
I prefer the smaller oreos myself, they are alot easier to turn into pasties...
I'm so pretty
Chestnuts roasted by spazzamatic @ 07/14/2003 03:17 PM EST
I knew those big oreos existed. I remember getting one in this toys r us 'r treat' box when I was five years old.
Chestnuts roasted by Connie Vandelay @ 07/14/2003 04:02 PM EST
them big oreos nearly make me wanna puke!
Chestnuts roasted by oghkg @ 07/14/2003 04:05 PM EST
Who Might Direct Transformers?
http://filmforce.ign.com/articles/428/428082p1.html
Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 07/14/2003 04:05 PM EST
If I had known about those things when I was a kid, I would probably be dead right now. Thats a massive Oreo!
Chestnuts roasted by Paul Ortego @ 07/14/2003 04:09 PM EST
Why is that Bookman sized Oreo have Masonic symbols all over it?
Chestnuts roasted by Happnin' Mojo @ 07/14/2003 04:45 PM EST
Matt, sorry you felt bad. That stinks. Hooray, giant Oreo! I bet Photog needs an Oreo that big to fill his massive stomach. Same for Bitner. I know I bring them up alot, but I don't want anyone to forget about them. Matt, please, please, please, PLEASE put up the Photog runner-up gallery. We all want it, even if we don't know it yet. Photog vs. Giant Oreo...Get it on!
Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 07/14/2003 04:51 PM EST
I get a suger rush from just drinking a single can of root beer. My gosh, I would go into a suger coma if I ate that Oreo.
Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 07/14/2003 04:52 PM EST
Masonic symbols help release c'thulu's power in your bowels.
Chestnuts roasted by d;rfgj @ 07/14/2003 04:58 PM EST
I thought Papa Shango gave up his voodoo curses for Pimping?
Chestnuts roasted by Goggles Pizano @ 07/14/2003 05:02 PM EST
Nah, that was just a front so he'd only be arrested on a morals charge.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/14/2003 05:05 PM EST
Matt, you're insane. I don't even understand how you get the money to just constantly buy awesome crap everywhere. I'd LOVE to see your house someday.
Actually, I'll bet you have the best fugging garage sales EVER.
*_* Coool.
Chestnuts roasted by Melanie @ 07/14/2003 05:16 PM EST
Has anyone ever seen Microwave Massacre? OMG it totally rules...like as in sucks. Its very bitner.
If your thinking about killing yourself you should watch it!
Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Poopenstien @ 07/14/2003 06:32 PM EST
Dr. Poopenstien, after just reading a review of Microwave Massacre, I remembered a cannibal movie that disturbed me when I was kid. It was called Parents, and the thing that bothered me the most was that Randy Quaid played the father.
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 07/14/2003 06:47 PM EST
My God. Papa Shango. There's a name I haven't heard since I was actually watching him on TV with my (then) boyfriend. Wow. It's amazing how much useless crap I've crammed into my brain. And it's amazing how this site keeps dredging up that useless information and jamming it in my face accusingly; "See? See!? Useless crap! In your brain! Shame on you!" I love X-E. I'm such a masochist.
Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 07/14/2003 10:30 PM EST
Matt, you seem to have forgotten Count Duckula.
Chestnuts roasted by i was a lion @ 07/14/2003 10:48 PM EST
Post 200! Yay!
I've seen bigger Oreos, but now they have ICE CREAM!!! Woo!
Chestnuts roasted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 07/14/2003 10:50 PM EST
Hmm...Duckula probably would've been better than Little Dracula, but for the sake of bringing some attention to the poor green freak, I'll take the stake of blame.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 07/14/2003 10:51 PM EST
So Kama has been a voodo priest, the ultimate fighting machine, a nation of islam member, a pimp, a censor and back to a pimp?! Well at least he didn't screw a "dead" woman's brains out.
Chestnuts roasted by Happnin' Mojo @ 07/15/2003 01:28 AM EST
I tried going to the Nabisco website to look up the "nutritional" value for Big Stuff cookies, and the site is nothing but games for kids. Maybe those lawsuits aren't so frivolous after all...
Ironically, they also have a contest where they're giving away a fitness center.
Chestnuts roasted by Hellpop! @ 07/15/2003 07:59 PM EST
Interestingly, when I was window shopping for a new gym, one of the fitness centers had a cross-promotional 10% discount on all McDonald's visits.
I dunno, maybe it makes perfect sense; maybe gym-goers are all secret Hamburglarphiles and I'm the one freak health nut.
Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 07/15/2003 10:21 PM EST
BIG ICE CREAM OREOS!
Chestnuts roasted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 07/17/2003 10:48 AM EST
Good gawd... I want an oreo. :( I was never a cookie kid, I was all about Doritos - brightorange-powdery-finger-licking goodness.
Chestnuts roasted by Lynn (Natsuki) @ 07/18/2003 06:01 AM EST
Holy Cow I forgot all about those things but I really liked the double stuff better. I would take like 10 of those rip out the frosting and roll it up into a big ball and eat the whole thing, haha. No wonder I had a weight problem when I was in the 6th grade!
Chestnuts roasted by Purin @ 07/21/2003 06:04 PM EST
Do they still make Double Stuffs? I haven't seen 'em in a long ass time.
Chestnuts roasted by Jake @ 07/25/2003 10:46 AM EST
ME, Randy Quaid deserved a goddamn Oscar in Parents; I say this without so much as a hint of sarcasm. Mom was great too; watching her chow down with Dad amid all the fifties deco, that was when movies were good.
I would eat those giant Oreos and lik'em too; I dream of Oreo cereal. Imagine little tiny, bitter black oreo cookies darkening the milk, with little disen-cookied globs of white icing sinking to the bottom of the bowl. Damn I'd actually wake up on time for that
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