But who knows? Maybe Mattel found out he cheated or something. These days, Photog is about as obscure as it gets, and nobody really knows what happened to the poor guy. The only documentation available came on the last page of the Spring '86 issue of The Masters of the Universe Magazine, so today, we take a look back at that article and try to piece together this incredibly pointless mystery. It's time we found out the truth. Who was Photog?
Believe it or not, the article fills in a lot of blanks. I was just expecting a few congratulatory remarks, and maybe some Nathan-brand quotes where he talks about how Orko is such a funny guy. Apparently, Nathan was awarded a scholarship for 100,000 dollars, plus a five-day trip to California. I dunno, sounds like hush money to me. I can just picture some shady Mattel exec offering the wad of dough to Nathan's family before putting one of those iconic black mouse caps on his head, asking if he'd ever been on Space Mountain. In a flurry of confusion and newfound greed, everyone started signing papers until Photog's promised production was null and void. If that's the case, I hope Nathan had fun at Disneyland. Actually wait, no I don't - that'd mean he screwed the world out of Photog. That blows. I hope the fine print read that the scholarship could be paid out in Monopoly money. Stupid kid.
On Photog, Nathan adds: "I thought the idea of making my character with camera features would be neat." Sounds like something they made him say, all the while waving 100K checks and VIP passes to Epcot which didn't even make sense since Epcot's in Florida. That's his only quote in the article, so I guess he's about as good of an interview as Tara Reid.
Photog's power was said to be the ability to 'focus in' on his enemies before draining their strength. The silhouettes shown on his chestplate are pictures of his fallen foes, proving Photog both a sadist and a pretty skilled photographer. The article closes out with a detailed list of Nate's hobbies, but I stopped reading after I got to 'doing puzzles' since no hobby will ever top THAT. Even though the figure never made it to stores, the kid took in a hundred grand and a week-long date with Mickey for spending a few hours with paper and magic markers. I'd say that's a decent haul. I'm sure the enthusiastic customs artist might be able to make a Photog figure - I'd try it myself, but I'm not a customs artist and I'm usually too busy trying to figure out a way to make plastic edible. That's the story of Photog. I never said it was going to be long.
REPLIES: 2365 comments
Those....bastards.
If I won that contest, and no figure was produced...
I would be drowning my sorrows in a bar asking everyone if they remember me.
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/21/2003 01:43 AM EST
http://he-man.org/prototypes/photog_proto.shtml
Chestnuts roasted by microfiche @ 05/21/2003 03:10 AM EST
Don't forget that some kid won a contest dealing with the live-action movie and the director had to put him on film, so he became Skeletor's staff holder, Pig Boy, for a split second.
Chestnuts roasted by microfiche @ 05/21/2003 03:13 AM EST
First of all, I hope Nathan's family sued Mattel for backing down from their agreement to produce the Photog figure. I believe when one makes a promise to someone, you better damn well keep it or bad karma will ensue.
Having said that, I would like to add that I myself have entered contests that were Disney-related rather than MOTU-related. One was a four pack of tickets to the Pocahontas screening in Central Park, another was screening of Hercules at the New Amsterdam Theater, and I got a free weekend stay at the Disney Resort of my choice (airfare and park admission not included).
Of course, the chances of me winning those conests were fairly greater than most contests where "many will enter, none will win."
Chestnuts roasted by Go Knock Jimmy Down @ 05/21/2003 05:40 AM EST
On the plus side, the figure looks pretty lame and i'm glad i never had to buy a camera headed figure to go with the elephant head od Snout Spout, the extending neck of Mekaneck etc etc
Chestnuts roasted by Junior @ 05/21/2003 07:14 AM EST
Man, Mattel was very idiotic back then. Well, i just hope the 4HM redo photog for the new line. that would be sweer.
Chestnuts roasted by Uncle Dorko @ 05/21/2003 07:18 AM EST
BTW, the very same Nathan Bitner later worked at Bungie Software (till about '99 IIRC) and was one of the lead designers for the early versions of HALO
Chestnuts roasted by Joze @ 05/21/2003 07:34 AM EST
if thats the same person,he actually was starting his own game company,found an artice about it,but the article is several years old however...
http://www.insidemacgames.com/news/story.php?ArticleID=1579
Chestnuts roasted by pogocorpse @ 05/21/2003 10:43 AM EST
I'd say that's a pretty good drawing for an 11-year old. I could only draw stick figures at that age.
Hell, at least Disneyland is something. The only thing I've ever won was a "Bookmaster" T-shirt inside a box of Oreos. They sent it two sizes too big.
Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 05/21/2003 10:52 AM EST
Ooooh man, this would make me so very mad if I were him. Having an action figure you designed yourself at 11 years old would be the greatest! After actually winning a contest where the odds are about one in ten billion, I think you deserve anything they're promising and maybe then some. Even now I'm very mad at Mattel and I wasn't even the one to win.... jerks...
Chestnuts roasted by Toxicity- @ 05/21/2003 11:33 AM EST
I did a yahoo people search on the guy and came up with a 29 yr old living in Chicago or Aurora, IL... the email addresses they have listed are: bitn@quads.uchicago.edu and
nebitner@email.unc.edu ... so if it's him maybe we can ask him his side of the story..
Chestnuts roasted by celery @ 05/21/2003 12:48 PM EST
or he may be in the military...
"Anytime you got other people running around with weapons it complicates the situation. I'm not sure any amount of training will prepare you for that,"said Pfc. Nathan Bitner, 29, of Chicago.
http://www.shaner.us/digilib/02032003/a1/troops.html
Chestnuts roasted by lain @ 05/21/2003 12:59 PM EST
holy crap someone email this kid and make him post here! i cant take the suspense. Long live PHOTOG!
Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 05/21/2003 01:40 PM EST
I emailed those adresses and I am waiting for a response.
Chestnuts roasted by Dondalinger @ 05/21/2003 01:57 PM EST
that rhett kid from the cereal commercial contacted matt. its not out of the realm of possibility that this nathan guy will too.
Chestnuts roasted by evin @ 05/21/2003 02:43 PM EST
Frog Blast the vent core!!!!!
Yes! For too much Bungie information go to The Story Page!
Search pages for photog or bitner if you can't find the references.
http://marathon.bungie.org/story/halo_oct-dec99.html
http://www.he-man.org/site/articles/cac85.shtml
Look photog picture here:
http://bs.bungie.org/mtarchives/cat_sightings.html
Chestnuts roasted by kcghkcg @ 05/21/2003 03:00 PM EST
Hah, looks like the case may soon be solved. :)
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/21/2003 03:12 PM EST
Off-topic, and only slightly fitting in that it's related to MOTU action figures:
http://www.skeletorandgang.tk/
Similar to Matt's photo stories in a way, except in video and dialogue-less.
It's awesome, though I hope the creator won't find out who I am and kill me for publishing the link in such a highly populated place as this.
Chestnuts roasted by kordel @ 05/21/2003 03:31 PM EST
Photog? How odd. Now if they gave him something cool, like an extending elephant snout that shot water and fired caps in his back while he had a giant claw and the other arm was replacable, and he was covered in blue fur and smelled really bad, then you would have a real figure! (Heh, every figure combined into one, cool)
Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 05/21/2003 03:35 PM EST
Wow. Some guy named Tim REALLY hates Nathan Bitner.
REALLY, REALLY hates Nathan Bitner.
This story http://forums.bungie.org/halo/archive4.pl?read=98509 about his experience with Nathan involves such themes as bankruptcy, eviction, HOOKERS, suicide, and not to mention Nathan's stint in a mental home. And the whole joining the army to evade debt collectors.
Do you see what Mattell did to this poor man?!?!
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/21/2003 03:35 PM EST
I think that after this blog session, this Nathan Bitner is gonna become so famous that he will get his own action figure designed after himself. he may even get his own cereal line after this is said and done.
Chestnuts roasted by KoNaX @ 05/21/2003 03:46 PM EST
Well, I've submitted this link to Fark. If it shows up on the front page, maybe someone will be able to give us more information about Mr. Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by FarkFan @ 05/21/2003 03:56 PM EST
More information?
I think I've found out too much already. It seems obvious that he won the contest, got the scholarship, went to UNC Chapel Hill, worked at Bungie for a bit (doing an uneeded job), quit Bungie to start his own company, flopped, then joined the army at age 28.
That's more info than I have on some of my blood relatives.
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/21/2003 04:31 PM EST
"Star Wars Kid" goes mainstream
http://www.cinescape.com/0/editorial.asp?aff_id=0&this_cat=News&action=page&type_id=&cat_id=272956&obj_id=38683
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 05/21/2003 04:33 PM EST
In response to the above...thats what makes this site so much fun. You can learn about something or someone you had no idea existed and then find out EVERYTHING there is to know about them. You have to admit, whether you like it or not, its very unique.
Chestnuts roasted by KoNaX @ 05/21/2003 04:34 PM EST
Well, I wasn't going so far as to say I seriously didn't enjoy it...but on second thought, Nathan Bitner is, from what I've read, a broken man. In the article I linked to, the author says he ran up thousands of dollars of debt on prostitutes. And he didn't even have sex with them.
Is it not odd to find out these sorts of things about some random kid that won a contest?
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/21/2003 04:53 PM EST
I remember entering the contest myself when I was eleven. Very exciting times. Its very very strange to be able to follow the aftermath (so to speak) 16 years later.
Chestnuts roasted by maidenform @ 05/21/2003 05:00 PM EST
Maybe Nathan's life is all like Donnie Darko and Photog appears to him and commands him to not pay his bills and buy hookers.
Chestnuts roasted by Sharky @ 05/21/2003 05:09 PM EST
Ick. This has gotten too sordid for me. It's not as though I expected the kid to never develop secondary sex characteristics or anything like that, but if this guy really is him -- jeez. Just jeez.
Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 05/21/2003 05:32 PM EST
Er, actually, I didn't mean that to sound so judgemental. I've been baking banana bread all afternoon, so it's possible that the domesticity regressed me back to some Pleasantville-esque Donna Reed state of mind.
Still, if THE Nathan Bitner stops by, belated congratulations on your winnings, even if Mattel did dick 'em around on you. :D
Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 05/21/2003 05:39 PM EST
I really hope that the Nathan Bitner of Photog fame is not the same Nathan Bitner I just read about on Bungie. If so, this innocent little blog post has taken a turn for the tragic.
It seems to me that what happened is that getting a free ride through college taught Nathan that he could get a free ride through life. (WRONG) Mattel really did ruin this kid's life.
BTW, the article doesn't say that they sent him to see the mouse, just that he got a trip to California. Betcha dollars to doughnuts they refused to fork over the ca$h to get him into the park, and just schlupped him around Hollywood following a $1 HOMES OF THE STARS map. Weak, Mattel. Really weak.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/21/2003 07:35 PM EST
Hmm. And what lesson have we learned from the misadventures of the infamous Nathan Bitner?
Is it possible that being passionate about action figures can start the downward spiral into depression, depravity, and debt? Or is it possible that I like alliteration a little too much?
I'm glad collected Lady Lovely Locks instead of MOTU figures like my sister did. Long tailed rats you can wear in your hair! RATS! ;-)
Chestnuts roasted by PaloPinto @ 05/21/2003 07:38 PM EST
Why can't they just put photog in the new MOTU line. It would awesome.
Chestnuts roasted by Patrick N @ 05/21/2003 08:09 PM EST
Wouldn't most of those pictures on his chest be of villains laughing their asses off 'cause they're being attacked by A GUY WITH A CAMERA FOR A HEAD?
You know, I was going to do a websearch for "Nathan Bitner," but you guys saved me a lot of work. Thanks.
... I think.
Chestnuts roasted by ChaosMonkey @ 05/21/2003 08:56 PM EST
Heh, ChaosMonkey, you reminded me of one of the few funny things Adam Sandler did on SNL - the Halloween costumes he did on Weekend Update.
"Hey! I'm CRAZY PLANT ARM! I got a freakin PLANT for an ARM! Gimme some CANDY!"
Hee!
Chestnuts roasted by PaloPinto @ 05/21/2003 09:12 PM EST
Oh dear god! I entered this damn contest! No shit. I did! I totally remember drawing a picture of some figure... I wish I could remember more.
Chestnuts roasted by Colin @ 05/22/2003 12:00 AM EST
mad props to Ed, Joze, celery and everyone on the case; an excerpt from the forum attack by Tim, after the parts about Gemini the Hooker and the eviction notice:
"Bitner, in my opinion, is a pure slacker." He won the goddamn He-man figure design contest at 11 and was a HALO designer! If you're out there Tim, and you made the whole thing up, then I'd think it was actually really creative and kind of funny and suggest that YOU win an award of some kind; like the Japan Airline reader fiction contest where you can have your own short story published in their boring inflight magazine. But if the whole thing is true, than Tim's a bigger jerk than he claims Bitner to be. Maybe he was jealous about Gemini.
(She kind of sounds like a He-man figure herself)
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/22/2003 01:06 AM EST
This is some pretty heavy shit this time; I think I need to go talk to Stinkor and Ram-man for a while
(and Webstor, if I can untangle his damn grappling hook string)
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/22/2003 01:13 AM EST
Anyone know if this guy joined the active army or the reserves? I'm in the Army and I can probably find him, army email, hell probably even his phone number if need be, but I don't want to go tracking down the wrong guy or anything. There are two Nathan Bitner in the Army one active one reserves.
Chestnuts roasted by edthacow @ 05/22/2003 02:32 AM EST
Everybody's gotta read the thing Ed Franklin dug up on Nathan "Photog" Bitner; it's long as hell but it's possibly the most interesting biography on a human being I've ever seen; even includes what may be a post by the guy on some unknown Irish band's fan site. Everything's pointing to this one guy isn't it- the He-man mag article says 11yr old Nathan is from Illinois, Private Nathan of the above infamy is of Chicago...
Chestnuts roasted by The Big Bopper @ 05/22/2003 02:50 AM EST
Maybe if they put Photog in the new line of He-Man toys, it will give Nathan the real strength he needs to do something real with his life.
Y'know, if he doesn't like get that from the army.
Chestnuts roasted by Steve @ 05/22/2003 04:03 AM EST
umm...Chicago is the capital of Illinois...
Chestnuts roasted by Rosy @ 05/22/2003 04:31 AM EST
That's the point; his native Naperville is in Illinois too--people who screw up as royally as Nathan allegedly did tend to end up pretty much in or near their spawning ground (or maybe it's just something in the water there!)
Chestnuts roasted by The Big Bopper @ 05/22/2003 04:48 AM EST
I dunno, I think it might be the same kid. Does anyone have a map? How close is Naperville to Chicago?
What are the odds of two Nathan Bitners living so close to each other? The ages even match up pretty well. If he was 11 in '86 that'd put him at 28 in '03, and he was listed as a 29-year old during the Iraq war on that one website.
Coincidence?
Chestnuts roasted by Rosy @ 05/22/2003 05:03 AM EST
It's gotta be the same kid
I hope he and Photog are draining the enemies' powers and restoring order to that troubled region.
Chestnuts roasted by The Big Bopper @ 05/22/2003 05:20 AM EST
Wait a minute...this kid was 11 years old back then right? Well I read that tiny print article and it said he was in eighth grade. EIGHTH!!! That means by the time he graduated he would have been 15. Something is totally fishy here.
Chestnuts roasted by Quigley @ 05/22/2003 08:30 AM EST
I know of a few people who graduated when they were fifteen, Quigley, and started university when they were sixteen. In my freshman year of university, I was dating a sixteen year old (I graduated when I was sixteen and had just turned seventeen, so no cradle-snatching there ;) ). It's really not that uncommon; you don't have to be a child genius to do that -- just a Not-A-Dunce.
Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 05/22/2003 09:35 AM EST
Napierville is just a 'burb of Chicago (15 miles?). Kids from there say they're from Chicago 'cuz they don't want to explain where Napierville is.
btw, Chicago isn't the capital of Illinois. Springfield is. GO DOWNSTATE!
Chestnuts roasted by Wacky Chewbacky @ 05/22/2003 09:46 AM EST
New figures for MOTU:
Nathan Bit-man
Heroic & Master of Strategy!
(with disappearing magic trick)
Gemini
Sleeps with Evil!
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/22/2003 10:24 AM EST
Oh my god, i found him. Nathan Bitner is alive and well and working on the independent wrestling circuit. He is currently wrestling under the alias El Diablo Silverado with New Midwest Wrestling in Springfield Illinois (www.newmidwest.com). He is very good i have seen him. By the way, the logo on the ass of his tights is the Photog Chest Emblem!
OTB
Chestnuts roasted by Outside The Box @ 05/22/2003 12:25 PM EST
Yes !! Go downstate ! Go Peoria!
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 05/22/2003 01:45 PM EST
If there is a blog conversation out there like this about ME, and I found out about it....
I would go crazy....Howard Hughes style...
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/22/2003 02:56 PM EST
From the He-Man.org site :
"Runners-up included Ricky Ardmore (Eye Beam), Josette d'Ambrosi (Netta), John Rowe (Compactor), and Ricky Stafford (Brainwave)."
Anyone feel like finding some dirt on these contest runner-ups? (Notice there is one chick in that list...if she turns out to be "Gemini" then my head will explode).
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/22/2003 02:59 PM EST
Ricky Stafford? Shit, that guy killed my grandma.
Whatta contest.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/22/2003 03:00 PM EST
you guys are freakin out over how trashy this guys life is but just think of how many nathen bitners there could be out there? type in your first and last name in google.com and you'll probably wind up with a few yourselves.
Chestnuts roasted by Summah Brace @ 05/22/2003 03:08 PM EST
I totally entered this contest w/ some friends and we SWORE up and down that they stole our idea: comets (or eggs, i can't remember) that turned into figures. Stonedar anyone?
Chestnuts roasted by Charles @ 05/22/2003 03:16 PM EST
Yeah, Summah is right. There are at least 707 people with the exact same name as me.
Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 05/22/2003 03:16 PM EST
Oh, we are talking the same person. There was a Nathan Bitner that worked for Bungie, and on the site they make a reference to his Photog creation. All the other information was from the bungie site. Believe me it's the same guy, the web trail is water-tight.
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/22/2003 03:25 PM EST
There’s only one way to solve this mystery for sure. We all pool our money and hire a private investigator.
When the private investigator, preferably someone named Lomax, shows up dead with bizarre symbols carved into his body, we will know we are on the right trail.
By that point we will each need to set up a love interest for ourselves, the rest will fall into place.
Chestnuts roasted by Steve @ 05/22/2003 03:36 PM EST
I think that one chick IS the hooker...Freeeeeaky.
Chestnuts roasted by Onslaught Six (Where's the He-Man Happy Meal article?!) @ 05/22/2003 03:45 PM EST
Wow, what a bizarre story. I entered this contest when I was 5 years old. My character blew bubbles which he used to capture the enemies in. I called him "Bubble Man". Sure it's not the best idea ever, but I bet he could whip Moss Man.
Chestnuts roasted by Goggles Pizano @ 05/22/2003 05:18 PM EST
www.angelfire.com/scifi2/mandalorian/diablostickfa.html
check out the other stuff on this site, does it go with the rest of the mystery ??
Chestnuts roasted by matthew @ 05/22/2003 05:32 PM EST
Really, who couldn't whip Mossman?
Chestnuts roasted by The Nate Meng Show @ 05/22/2003 06:23 PM EST
I don't think that the wrestler is the same guy. His angelfire site says he was born in '82, which would only make him 20 or 21...
Chestnuts roasted by The Nate Meng Show @ 05/22/2003 06:27 PM EST
That site is cool, but proves it is not him. The guy there claims to be born in 1982. Unless he's lying about his age we're on a wild goose chase. Mmmm..... geese.
Chestnuts roasted by deadfiller @ 05/22/2003 06:29 PM EST
I agree with Ed; Which means OUR Nathan Bitner should still be in the Army. But how about this: he tires of the trooper's life, gets an honorable discharge (shouldn't be too hard with his history of mental disorder), and heads right back to Illinois to lie about his age and 'rassle? It just sounds so...so, Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/22/2003 07:52 PM EST
WTF!?!? Leave me alone!!!!
Chestnuts roasted by Fearless Photog @ 05/22/2003 08:19 PM EST
Shut up!!! You don't exist!!! i created you!!! NOOOOOO!!! MOMMYYYYY!!!!!! *gurgle* *splort*
Chestnuts roasted by Nathan Bitner @ 05/22/2003 08:20 PM EST
Somebody's gotta go down to Springfield or wherever to see this El Diablo Silverado wrestle, look for the Photog chest thing on his ass, make like to get an autograph after the match, and just up and ask him
Chestnuts roasted by The Big Bopper @ 05/22/2003 08:22 PM EST
whoa
Chestnuts roasted by The Big Bopper @ 05/22/2003 08:25 PM EST
Ha! So Bitner! I'm gonna use that in my daily life now. "So, you got Munsoned out in the middle of nowhere? Man, that is so Bitner." Oh yeah, that's sweet.
Chestnuts roasted by Atompowerd @ 05/22/2003 10:22 PM EST
chicago isn't the capitol of illinois.
Chestnuts roasted by whatup @ 05/22/2003 11:16 PM EST
ROFLMAO!!!
Oh god...this shit is just too funny. The whole thing by Ed Franklin, "Anyone feel like finding some dirt on these contest runner-ups? (Notice there is one chick in that list...if she turns out to be "Gemini" then my head will explode).", was freakin' awesome. I was laughing my ass off for a good 5 minutes.
But that would be freaky if that other girl in the contest was that Gemini chick. Just goes to show you: Don't fuck with Mattel- they'll ruin your life.
-Boglin
Chestnuts roasted by Boglin @ 05/23/2003 12:52 AM EST
I don't remember the contest very well, but what I do remember is photog. I don't know how, but I remember seeing the winning entry shown after an episode of Masters of the Univers (I think, it's really blurry) I also remember a while before that, sitting in the kitchen drawing what I though would be the winning entry (all I remember on specifics is he was completely yellow) Not that any of you care, but I just needed to post on a thread running this long.
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/23/2003 02:32 AM EST
Ahh yes, Photog, the long missing Atog....
Chestnuts roasted by Black Zarak @ 05/23/2003 03:03 AM EST
It's just one of those names that rolls right off the tongue, isn't it; J. Edgar Hoover, Monica Lewinsky, Nathan Bitner...I have a feeling this poor slug's name is to become a household word among us all, along with Photog and Gemini the Hooker
Sort of curious; just what kind of competition did Josette and the two Rickies' pose to Photog anyway?
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/23/2003 03:19 AM EST
Hey anybody, any poop on the Pig Boy kid who won the right to hold Skeletor's staff?
Chestnuts roasted by Saving Private Bitner @ 05/23/2003 03:24 AM EST
Okay so I was wrong about the capital of Illinois. Sue me, I live in Oklahoma.
Chestnuts roasted by Rosy @ 05/23/2003 04:39 AM EST
My my my...words cannot begin to describe the awesomeness of this endeavor.
The Internet Age is truly a golden era for mankind.
Chestnuts roasted by Sammich King @ 05/23/2003 05:12 AM EST
yes, living in Oklahoma is grounds for a lawsuit :)
don't know which is worse, everyone rushing out to get the dirt on this guy or me reading through all 78 comments dealing with him.....oi vey!
Chestnuts roasted by Kano @ 05/23/2003 05:25 AM EST
Pigboy's name is Richard Szponder. He may or may not be a Dean at some school in IL. Google didn't turn up much info on him.
Chestnuts roasted by MG @ 05/23/2003 05:38 AM EST
This is so freaking scary. It's got to be the same guy. I mean come on, who else is going to come up with that logo? and he'a already got the insanity, and the fighting-ness from the army. Someone go down there and find the guy! I would, but I'm not even in the country. Reminds me of Forest Gump a little. Such a full life: wins a contest, helps design Halo, joins the army, becomes a wrestler, has a 80 (and still going) post long blog about him.....a full life indeed. I hope that I've had such a full life when I'm an insane wrestler with a camera for a head.
Chestnuts roasted by Beep @ 05/23/2003 07:22 AM EST
The Forrest Gump analogy really fits, but I doubt Nathan's tale will end nearly as pleasant and tingly as Forrest's; and we're assuming that he's stuck to wrestling and not gone and done something else, like star in gay porn or be launched into space or something
BTW, was Photog supposed to DO anything? Like pop blast caps off of his ass or spray water?
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/23/2003 09:19 AM EST
You know.... looking at the wrestling picture, and looking at his picture after winning the contest.. it could be him... all scrawny big headed. I think it could be him. Left the army, and went back home to wrestle. Probably met up with some mexican that tought him to wrestle in the army... he took that skill to avenge his mexican friends death.
Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 05/23/2003 09:24 AM EST
I think he's already become a household name. I will henceforth write songs and sonnets about the tragic triumph of Nathan Bitner.
"Alas, poor Bitner, I knew you not
Your life was tainted with Mattel blot. Did find Ms. Gemini to be hot? (I'm glad you didn't get crotch rot.)"
/Classic Shakespearean Sonnet
Chestnuts roasted by Slacker @ 05/23/2003 10:35 AM EST
MARK OF THE UNICORN
Chestnuts roasted by Chris @ 05/23/2003 12:29 PM EST
Well, in the novel, Forrest ends up having Jenny leave him after taking a dive in his professional wrestling career, and he doesn't end up a millionaire. But he does have a monkey. In the movie, he gets rich, marries Jenny, and then she dies of AIDS and leaves him with a son to raise. Niether ending is exactly froo-froo bunnies and mice in little feetie pajamas singing 'Good Ship Lollipop'. But there is a wrestling connection. The plot thickens.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/23/2003 12:54 PM EST
This is, by far, the best Blog thread yet. Who knew Photog could inspire such an investigation?
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/23/2003 12:58 PM EST
Well, I'm in the Army, and its keeping me away from this trail of this mystery...Someone get a hold of Robert Stack and...oh, never mind....
Hmmm, and now that this case is finally breaking Robert Stack ends up dead...that is so Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by Whitemale_98 @ 05/23/2003 01:15 PM EST
Lol I love this site :) this is nuts :D
biggs
Chestnuts roasted by Kiften @ 05/23/2003 01:50 PM EST
Well if I can get the chance I will go check out the wrestleing and try to talk to El Diablo ( I live about an hour from Springfield ). I will see what I can find out. If he declines to comment, I'll just say "that is sooo Bitner" Maybe I'll print off a copy of the contest winner announcement and ask him for his autograph.
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 05/23/2003 02:05 PM EST
then what if he breaks down and starts crying, soaking his El Diablo face mask in tears? poor bitner......maybe he just wants to be left alone in his Mattel induced misery........nah, i like the contest winner autograph thing better.
Chestnuts roasted by Neko @ 05/23/2003 02:42 PM EST
There is no doubt this is the funniest thing i ever have seen on blog. Photog to Gemini the Nathan Bitner story. I wonder if Photog is a secret charcter in Halo
Chestnuts roasted by wedgie @ 05/23/2003 02:58 PM EST
i bet matt had no idea we'd be this easy to entertain.
Chestnuts roasted by neko @ 05/23/2003 03:14 PM EST
My God. I bet none of us are right in the head. Myself included. Nathan Bitner will be my new name in Halo. I will scream to all "Fear the rage of Nathan Bitner!" It seems so right. I'm off to make an enormous camera mask, go to Springfield, and start wrestling. Photog versus Nathan Bitner. A match for the ages.
Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 05/23/2003 03:18 PM EST
By the way, do painted green Kryptonite rocks hurt Nathan Bitner or The Fearless Photog?
Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 05/23/2003 03:21 PM EST
Oh man this is so funny!! I just emailed El Diablo and asked if he was Nathan Bitner of Photog fame. I'll let you all know when I get a reply.
Chestnuts roasted by The Mc @ 05/23/2003 03:25 PM EST
What a surprise to be reading thru X-E and see myself mentioned!
Hello all, I am Mandalorian30. That is my website, and my customs. I also wrestle here in Springfield, IL under the name El Diablo Silverado.
I can assure you all that I am not Photog! I don't even have a symbol on the ass of my tights! LOL! Sorry for the dissapointment!
Just trying to help you all out with your investigation. Outside the Box, the guy who said I was Photog, is actually a friend of mine. He just pointed this out to me. Although I do have to thank him for brining traffic to my website!
Thanks to all those who checked out and complemented on my site! And, you guys should definatly come to the next NMW show! Sorry to dissapoint you all.
Hopefully your investigation will will prove to be a success!
Chestnuts roasted by Mandalorian30 (aka El Diablo Silverado) @ 05/23/2003 03:28 PM EST
By the way, my real name is Dan. Not Nathan! ;)
Chestnuts roasted by Mandalorian30 (El Diablo Silverado) @ 05/23/2003 03:29 PM EST
The plot thickens...
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/23/2003 03:30 PM EST
Photog brings back such bitter memories. I remember entering this MOTU contest. I submitted my concept of a guy with a man's body and elephant head who would be the local fireman in Eternia. Soon after I received my consolation prize (a mini-comic and Teela refrigerator magnet), Snout Spout made his appearance. Now I'm sure mine wasn't the most ground-breaking of ideas, but the coincidence still has me pissed off all these years after the fact.
Chestnuts roasted by Wade @ 05/23/2003 03:54 PM EST
Bitner's comment on the irish band site. Apparently he's a big fan of Andrea Corr... his message is at the bottom:
http://www.geocities.com/corrscorral/andrea.htm
Knowing Bitner he will marry this woman, become the bands manager, become addicted to heroin, go to rehab, find jesus, join a cult... etc.
Chestnuts roasted by McDLT @ 05/23/2003 04:12 PM EST
Darn you Matt! You sneak! I wanted to be the hundreth post! Oh well
Nathan Bitner Photog Nathan Bitner Nathan Bitner Nathan Bitner Nathan Bitner ape juice Nathan Bitner Photog Nathan six breasts Bitner Photog six breasts Nathan Bitner Nathan Bitner Nathan six breasts Bitner ape juice Nathan Bitner ape juice Nathan six breasts Bitner Nathan Bitner Photog Nathan Bitner six breasts ape juice Nathan Bitner Photog six breasts Nathan Bitner Photog Nathan ape juice Bitner Photog Nathan ape juice Bitner six breasts Nathan Bitner
Chestnuts roasted by six breasts @ 05/23/2003 04:40 PM EST
Living in Ohio is no excuse for ignorance. That is so Bitner of you.
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/23/2003 04:52 PM EST
Sorry 'six breasts,' didn't mean to pull a Bitner on you.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/23/2003 04:57 PM EST
I was soooo pissed off when this kid won that contest. I sent in 4 different figure ideas for that thing, and didnt even make it to the top five. Besides the kid who won, there was an eyeball with arms and legs that was in the top designs. WTF? I swear those fuckers at hasbro stole one of my ideas... I made a plant guy...monts later Mossman came out... conicidence???
Chestnuts roasted by robosushi @ 05/23/2003 05:17 PM EST
I can't belive they chose THAT thing over MY contest entry. *Holds up an "action figure" which is really a mousetrap with googly eyes glued to it and Barbie Doll legs on the bottom* See? See? He's TRAP MAN! He traps people...with his trap...and....oh...never mind.
Chestnuts roasted by COOKIES FOR BREAKFAST?! @ 05/23/2003 05:30 PM EST
Dude, I totally remember the eyeball guy - they actually made a character pretty similar to him named "Optik" for the crappy HE-MAN toyline they put out later. I entered like nine characters and was a runner-up. Got a Fright Zone playset.
Good times ...
Chestnuts roasted by Hotspur @ 05/23/2003 05:45 PM EST
Is anyone trying to get an exclusive interveiw?
Every since I read this blog I've been basing any decisions as "what would Bitner do?" I need closure, I need the truth before my life spirals down into nothingness and everything becomes so Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by Seigfreid's Cheese @ 05/23/2003 05:53 PM EST
Hmm...some digging on the he-man.org website has uncovered yet another wrinkle on this story. Remember how one of the runner-up characters was called "Netta" -- it sure as hell looks like she showed up a few years later in the She-Ra toy line as "Netossa." You be the judge.
Chestnuts roasted by Strange Interlude @ 05/23/2003 06:16 PM EST
Oooooookayyyyy....
Let's run-down on the skinny:
1. Mattel ruins lives
2. Nathan Bitner got spoiled
3. Nathan Bitner is not a wrestler
4. Mattel sucks at picking winners
And most importantly,
5. A new catchphrase!!
Okay, now EVERYONE go forth and spread the word... I SAID SPREAD IT!! Hopefully with the tens of people who have input here, maybe we can reach the pinnacle, and have Randy Jackson quote it...
"Yo, dawg. Dude, wha' happened, man? Dawg, you were like rockin' then you sucked out there dude. You were like so Bitner, dawg."
Thanks to KrappyKat for the phrase!
Chestnuts roasted by Prezkot @ 05/23/2003 06:20 PM EST
Okay the whole Bitner catchphrase thing is very funny but when we get Matt to say it, its just that much funnier. Oh and Prezkot, I will be vigilant and will be spreading the word to all who can hear me. This is sooooo Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 05/23/2003 07:21 PM EST
Ok, but let's not run it into the ground. We don't want "That is so Bitner" to become the next "Show me the money!"... You have to use restraint, like for example if you have a friend that enters a silly contest, wins and then years later becomes 50k in debt and becomes suicidal. Wait until you have to pick him up at the mental hospital, THEN bust out a Bitner on his ass.
Chestnuts roasted by McDLT @ 05/23/2003 07:33 PM EST
definition of Bitner--
Bitner: 1.adj (or noun); having achieved brief infamy or success, then proceeding to fail or bungle colossally at one or more careers or activities, partaking of a rampage of self-destruction and ruin, then moving on to something completely random and wierd, to the amazement of all.
2.the fetish of hiring and interacting with but not having sex with a prostitute
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/23/2003 07:39 PM EST
Let's not all be too disappointed by Bitner not being El Diablo Silverado; after all, real sleuths like us are out to get the truth, even if it means your mark isn't a masked pro-wrestler in Illnois.
So maybe he's still in the army; imagine the hilarious hijinx he's pulling THERE!
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/23/2003 07:47 PM EST
Damn you yahoo, was all set to make "nathanbitnersghost" one of my online names...apparently its a vulgar name...that is sooooo bitn...wait, need to show restraint.
Show me the money!
Crap thats no good either...
Chestnuts roasted by Whitemale_98 @ 05/23/2003 08:37 PM EST
The real mystery here is how Photog managed to win the contest, not whatever happened to baby Nathan. If you do find him, ask him what kinda stupid name Photog is or why he has those crappy powers that would never help anyone. Oh wait, he was supposed to be a MOTU, I get it.
Chestnuts roasted by ineptitude @ 05/23/2003 10:07 PM EST
If he IS still in the Army, I betcha by now it's a catch phrase over there too;
"Atten--HUT!!"
"What's your story, dog-face?!"
"Sir, I won the national spelling bee, became an Indian chief, was arrested by bounty hunters for credit card fraud and chose the Army over jail, sir!"
"What's your name, private?!"
"Sir, the private's name is Smith, sir!"
"BULLSHIT! From now on you're Private BITNER!!"
(sorry, couldn't resist:)
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/23/2003 10:21 PM EST
I'm guessing it's like those tribal peoples who think that getting their picture taken will steal their souls or something. So if he has a camera for a head, does it mean he's a robot? And would he be a He-Man Slime do or don't?
Chestnuts roasted by The Big Bopper @ 05/23/2003 10:36 PM EST
If Nathan Bitner or Photog shows up in Megatokyo, I'll chop off my ex-boyfriends' naughty parts, boil 'im in motor oil, and send them to China for aphrodesiacs.
Chestnuts roasted by Dio Maxwelle @ 05/24/2003 12:06 AM EST
I'm feeling rather Bitner right now...I was too old in 85 to play with my MOTU toys but I remember seeing that contest. Poor guy. We need to turn up some more info on him and try to get that protoype out of the mattel vaults and back in to Bitner's life. This could be the thing that turns him around!
Chestnuts roasted by TikiBob @ 05/24/2003 12:10 AM EST
Well, here I thought the Serifan Raziel Soul Reaver figure was going the way of the Photog figure but I have new hope for ol' Phoggy as Blue Box or whatever just came out with S.Raz just recently.
Oddly enough, I first found out about this website from "The Lost Worlds", a Legacy of Kain website, that also had a lil blurb on the action figures. Amazing how life turns full circle....(damn Legacy of Kain references).
Chestnuts roasted by Dio Maxwelle @ 05/24/2003 12:30 AM EST
I remember entering that contest as a kid. My action figure was named Magnet-Man, and...well, he was a big walking magnet, basically. The action figure wouldn't have been too hard, just make a regular figure and stick a couple magnets in him, instant fun. For some reason he had big googly eyes too.
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 05/24/2003 01:52 AM EST
So..have you guys been here researching since this went up or what?
Chestnuts roasted by Black Zarak @ 05/24/2003 01:55 AM EST
Alright...
Enough bitching about it! I've decided to do something about this... now you can too!
http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/petition-sign.cgi?photog01
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/24/2003 02:21 AM EST
or, rather....
http://www.petitiononline.com/photog01/petition.html
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/24/2003 02:22 AM EST
I signed it. Let's hope something comes out of it. After all this, I think that Mattel could make a good bit of cash off of Photog if they make it.
Chestnuts roasted by extraordinarymagnitude @ 05/24/2003 03:16 AM EST
Petition = signed.
The army thing is SOOO funny. I could so see that happening.
Chestnuts roasted by Rosy @ 05/24/2003 03:48 AM EST
This plot thickens more than I can even describe.. To anyone wanting alot of Bitner information just do a google groups search on him and you won't be disappointed at what you find... Some highlights include Bitner's thoughts on Serbia to his thoughts on bipolar disorder.. go figure.
Chestnuts roasted by Some guy that know's way to much on Bitner @ 05/24/2003 04:05 AM EST
Gozer:
Sorry 'six breasts,' didn't mean to pull a Bitner on you.
Posted by Matt @ 05/23/2003 04:57 PM EST
Additional definition for Bitner:
3. To wrongfully deprive another of something, either via fraud, misrepresentation, or complete bat-shit insanity
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/24/2003 04:08 AM EST
I signed it. Lets finally get Bitner the justice he deserves!
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/24/2003 07:36 AM EST
Deeming this poor lad a failure is a bit harsh, don't you think? Without knowing everything that was going on, that's just a bit judgemental.
Go, Nathan! Don't listen to the nay-sayers...
Chestnuts roasted by Cabbitroid @ 05/24/2003 10:00 AM EST
It says Bitner was he-man of the issue he is more like he-man with issues, but who wouldnt be after all they ended using some of the runners up but not the winner's creation. Mattel is lucky he didnt go shoot up a toys'r'us.Im sure he told all his friends at school about his figure and they probably thought it was stupid and then beat him up for it, and u know his know nickname was photog poor guy. now its being discussed by a bunch of people with nothing better to do on the net. Poor Bitner
Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 05/24/2003 10:12 AM EST
Seriously, though; can you imagine if this built up into some sort of cult status issue and Mattel did a limited run of Photog nearly twenty years after conception?
Photog could end up being the next dark horse Boba Fett. Sure, you laugh -- but the fact that there's an original Boba Fett phenomenon is innately a little weird too.
Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 05/24/2003 11:51 AM EST
I have heard ENOUGH....I'm off to make my most AWESOME custom to date:
"Fearless Bitner" with "Sexless Prostitute Companion"
Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 05/24/2003 12:35 PM EST
I signed the petition...
Make sure 'Gemini' has a Gemini zodiac symbol on her ass, since we all thought El Dorado or whatever had a Fearless Photog on his ass.
Also make sure Bitner's accessories include a Corrs' album and many failed bank loans. Ha Ha
Chestnuts roasted by Prezkot @ 05/24/2003 01:23 PM EST
........LOL....and possibly some empty baggies. I'm also playing with the idea of a voice chip accessory:
"NEVER trust a Mattel rep"
"how much for a blo...I mean a CONVERSATION?"
and
"I ain't payin' back SHIT!...I created Fearless Photog you PRICKS!!"
God.......
Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 05/24/2003 02:07 PM EST
petition??.....Did I miss a post??
Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 05/24/2003 02:08 PM EST
More people need to sign this petition. Get the word out, masses!! I know I'd buy this figure.... This's all so damned exciting, I could kick someone in the nuts.
Anyone know a band? I'd kick ass if someone like Smashmouth, Linkin Park or Barenaked Ladies did a song about this and it went on the top 20 or something.
Chestnuts roasted by Dio Maxwelle @ 05/24/2003 03:35 PM EST
I signed the petition. Peace and long life Nathan Bitner...
Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/24/2003 03:57 PM EST
... Woah. This entry has taken so many different twists and turns, My brain is all hurty. XD
Seriously though, from some of the stuff I've read, this is pretty sad. =( Maybe if they have a Photog in the new line, maybe that will bring ol' Bitner out of seclusion. Who knows? *shrug*
Chestnuts roasted by mekairinek @ 05/24/2003 04:19 PM EST
The petition is open until the end of June, after which I will email a letter and the petition results.
I am hoping we get at least a couple hundred sigs....
Spread the word to forums, friends, blogs, webmasters, and nerdy doll collectors!!
(At the very least maybe we could get some kind of limited edition run out of this.)
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/24/2003 04:59 PM EST
Oh man... if they actually did end up making a Photog figure, I'd definately buy it. I haven't bought an action figure in years, but god damn, how cool would it be to have fucking PHOTOG sitting on one of my monitors while I work all day.
Chestnuts roasted by MG @ 05/24/2003 06:01 PM EST
It would be pretty kick ass to have a Photog figure sitting on your desk at work...you figure it would drive every guy in there between the age of about 22-27 thinking to themselves, "Why the hell does that action figure seem so vaguely familiar?"
As far as the army angle, if (PFC?)Nathan Bitner were ever stationed in Korea, all he would've had to do was show a merchant a picture of Fearless Photog and they would've found a way to make it.
No matter your opinion of Photog's ability to be a hero, he can't be any worse than Man-At-Arms...
Suck on that Duncan!
Chestnuts roasted by Whitemale_98 @ 05/24/2003 06:27 PM EST
Oh geez..You know, I'm too young to really remember MotU, but this is by far the greatest thing I have ever read. I've been laughing my ass off for the last fifteen minutes reading through all these posts..
Chestnuts roasted by JRockBishi @ 05/24/2003 06:48 PM EST
I don't know if this is just some strange coincedence, but driving to lunch today, I saw a suv w/ "we miss you cpl bitner!" written in soap on the back window.
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/24/2003 06:49 PM EST
I say the petition AIN'T ENOUGH! Let's all start a fund to raise money for tee shirts with:
"Nathan Bitner: Sorry Mattel Fucked You Bro"
printed on the front! Then we can all wear 'em on the front lawn of the Mattel headquarters! Yeah!
Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 05/24/2003 07:54 PM EST
How about a "sequel" to the live-action MOTU movie in homage to Nathan? We'll call it:
"MOTU 2: Bitner Bites Back"
The climactic final scene will feature a dude dressed as an early 80s' Mattel CEO being sodomized by Fearless Photog! I bet it'd get RAVE reviews, whaddya' think?
Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 05/24/2003 08:00 PM EST
Create-A-Character Contest 2003!!
My entry:
EVIL TWO-HEADED WARRIOR "Greed-Or/Lie-Or"
Dwells in the sewers of Mattel, inc. Often goes by alias "Human Waste Sausagesukker" Responds ONLY to the sounds of folding bills. WARNING: Has NO shame OR conscience.
.....I'm with you Bitner......
Chestnuts roasted by BitterBitner @ 05/24/2003 08:10 PM EST
Hey, uh, did anyone see that this post is featured at Metafilter? Someone might have mentioned it before, I'm not sure... Anyway, I've just only now taken the labor to read that bungie link- only to find that most of those Bitner shenanigans were going on right in my back yard! Sheesh, to be so close to the legend and not even know it, damn!
Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/24/2003 08:22 PM EST
I think that this Bitner forum should stay open until he finaly comes on himself and explains why his life has sucked for 17 years. I've been thinking about Bitner WAY too much the last few days...aarrggghhh...I think I'm going insane!!!! Someone please find this guy!!!!
Chestnuts roasted by Nialler @ 05/24/2003 08:37 PM EST
But will the great Nathan Bitner even have a clue of all we've been doing for/to him since this started?
Matt, there should be some sort of Hall of Fame on the site for people like Bitner;
he played a role (however moot) in one of the toy lines that entertained our generation, even he turned into a one-man trainwreck in the process. Bitner's done a lot for us these past couple of days
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/24/2003 08:50 PM EST
he played a part in something that was important to US when we were greedy little sugar-rushed pups- He wasn't Corey Haim; he was one of the kids who people like us went to school with and traded M.U.S.C.L.E.s with; We could've been Nathan Bitner (well, except for the stuff about prostitutes, bankrupcy, suicide, eviction, the Army, HALO; most of us tend to just choose one of the above)
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/24/2003 09:05 PM EST
I'm betting Bitner will read all this and commit suicide over all this fuss you're making for him.
Chestnuts roasted by Go Knock Jimmy Down @ 05/24/2003 09:11 PM EST
Hey Krappy Kat, Whaddya' mean WHEN we traded M.U.S.C.L.E.s?? Trading M.U.S.C.L.E.s STILL is my no.1 hobby! Whoo~Hoo!!
Chestnuts roasted by He-Ro @ 05/24/2003 09:18 PM EST
....Fuck "Fearless Photog", how 'bout a NATHAN BITNER figure?
Chestnuts roasted by Loo-Zerr @ 05/24/2003 09:19 PM EST
Yea...he could have all the necessary accessories....bouncing chequebooks, eviction notices etc...could also set off a spin-off line of pimps and hookers. Imagine the playset?
Chestnuts roasted by Nialler @ 05/24/2003 09:35 PM EST
Nialler, That'd be AWESOME! I'd fo' SHO buy the "Nathan Bitner Pimp N' Ho Playset"! I hope it would come with "crack rocks", ala Bravestarr Kerium! (Is that reference TOO vague??.....)
Chestnuts roasted by Fatog @ 05/24/2003 11:32 PM EST
Fatog: Nah, that ref. wasn't too vauge. *LMFAO!*
Chestnuts roasted by mekairinek @ 05/25/2003 12:02 AM EST
This is pretty off topic, but whatever. Seeing as how pretty much all of us here seem to be He-Man fans, I thought you'd be interested.
Has anyone else here heard Brandon DiCamillo's (he's one of the guys from the Jackass gang) freestyle tracks? He does a lot of stuff dealing with Skeletor and He-Man. On the last CKy movie there was a Beastman and Skeletor music video, which was probably the best part of the video. There are a few tracks on the CD Otimen Recording Hell with Skeletor and others. They're hilarious. If anyone's interested you can either find them yourself on Kazaa or email me (there's a link to my email on my website, click my name) and I'll give you a link to them. I also have the Beastman and Skeletor music video.
Chestnuts roasted by MG @ 05/25/2003 12:28 AM EST
I had a scary thought while having a shower just then - what if I was actually this elusive Nathan Bitner and didn't know it? What if Mattel used their cronnies in the White House to kidnap me many years ago and brainwash me into thinking that I was a 19 year old eurasian, English student living in Australia? It would get Bitner out of the way so he wouldn't complain about his figure not being made. I mean, I look nothing like the guy in the photo, but plastic surgery is pretty revolutionary nowadays. And I'm far too young, but that could just be my "programmed" age. Because seriously, that Photon picture did look familiar somehow, maybe it was the Natahn Bitner in me yearning for his past glories? Any one of us could be Bitner.
Or, conversley, maybe they cloned Nathan Bitner (he obviously can't have sex, so would not be able to produce his own offspring) in order to create a breed of "Super Action Figure Designers"? Any one of us could be a Bitner clone, a "Solid Bitner" or "Liquid Bitner". Or even the dreaded "Solidus Bitner", neither Solid or Liquid, but a well balanced masterpiece. This is all very Zen.
Chestnuts roasted by Panic Rush Attack @ 05/25/2003 12:58 AM EST
Photog... sounds like a bloody Magic the gathering creature to me
Chestnuts roasted by Trippy the 8th Dwarf @ 05/25/2003 01:22 AM EST
You mean I go out for a night of fun and I come back and this unsolved mystery still remains...you know, I met someone who met the Pope, so I'm only two degrees of seperation away from the Pope...my point being well over a hundred posts and there is nobody out there who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows Nathan Bitner...how can no body knows this guy?..of course, 95 of these posts are from the same 5 people...sorry for the frustration...this is beyond bitner...
On the plus side, I got some ass...yay me...and no, it wasn't Gemini...I got bills to pay...of course so did Bitner and it didn't stop him.
Chestnuts roasted by Whitemale_98 @ 05/25/2003 02:22 AM EST
I think the whole Photog name was Bitner's attempt at being clever, actually. Because it's a Photog(raphy) monster based on photography equpiment. I don't know why Photog's Fearless though. He probably should have been.
Chestnuts roasted by Random Observationist @ 05/25/2003 02:41 AM EST
You know this site is the number 10 Nathan Bitner site on Google?
We can so make it to number 1.
Chestnuts roasted by Panic Rush Attack @ 05/25/2003 02:42 AM EST
I wonder if Bitner used Photog to record his sordid sexual exploits with the hookers? All Bob Crane style.
Chestnuts roasted by BaronVonHotPants @ 05/25/2003 02:48 AM EST
I found a picture of Nathan Bitner!
http://www.elecplay.com/interview.html?article=5890
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 05/25/2003 03:39 AM EST
At least,Photog looked cooler than Fisto.
Chestnuts roasted by Ammer Thompson @ 05/25/2003 03:53 AM EST
OH MY FUCKING GOD!!
Read the article linked by Jeremy, it's fucking wonderful!
Some Bitner quotes:
"Oh, yeah, and most importantly, I want a cult following."
"Development is a team process--whether it's a new CEO, a texture artist, or a physics programmer. And give me back my black T-shirt. You know who you are." (I'm guessing he is refering to Gemini :)
"Currently, our newest addition is concept artist Gemini (she refuses to answer to her first name, and I'm not pushing her), and she has done some of the most unique color concept art I have ever seen." (OMFG! OMFG! OMFG!!!!)
Thank you, thank you Jeremy for this awesome article. This opens a WHOLE new dimension of Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/25/2003 04:01 AM EST
I had a thought while showering too; if in fact Nathan Bitner is still at war with Iraq, what a great hero's welcome he'll have when he gets back on the Net! Maybe Mattel will even have Photog ready
Now I'm not saying we should STOP or anything but yes, all this will probably be enough to push the guy off the deep end
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/25/2003 04:01 AM EST
Hmmm... now I know that he wants a cult following, I sorta want to stop worshipping him, y'know?
Chestnuts roasted by Panic Rush Attack @ 05/25/2003 04:12 AM EST
Oh Jeremy, Thank you!! I just read it!
A dreamy pic of Nathan, Gemini is the newest concept artist (I admit it does sound classier than hooker...)(and, has he put on a little weight since the Mattel contest, or is it just me)
"...and I want a cult following"
HAH HAH HAH HAH!!! Done, Nathan!!
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/25/2003 04:16 AM EST
More good Bitner-isms culled from the Bungie.org forums:
"Maybe I can get a cute bartendress to drive me home - or at least drop me off on the roadside 50 miles away from my house. I like waking up on the pavement, having no idea where I live. " (probably ended up being a very literal statement.)
"Oh, and I'm sorry to announce that I remain engaged and not married.....Lucky in grades, unlucky in love?" (No luck involved in hookers, my friend. Tutti Frutti.)
"it is Nov. 2nd (every year) and happens to be my birthday as well" (we have a birthday!!)
"Doesn't pay nearly as well as their contract for my head." (Ha! We've almost come this close)
"and yes, you can still reach me at Island_Four@yahoo.com ... and God knows where else ;)" (maybe still active?)
"I am now engaged (Jun 9th is the wedding) to a beautiful North Carolinian named Misti." (Gemini is a prostitute home-wrecker!)
"Although the second year, he spent a good amount of time at Castle Grayskull" (Hmmmmm.....He-Man reference, which sparked a DEBATE on that site as to whether He-Man or Skeletor owned Greyskull...)
Sorry for the long post, but....I'm falling into madness thinking about this guy. I'm telling everyone about him... I need the Photog figure to be created, and not for Bitner's closure, but for mine.
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/25/2003 04:42 AM EST
I resolve here and now, we keep this post going until Nathan Bitner answers personally, and yes that does look like him in the article...I just wish he would verify it by name dropping Photog...(e.g., "Yes, I'm excited about Island Four almost as exciting as winning that MOTU contest lo so many years ago...why are you giggling Gemini?").
By the way Krappy Kat I hope he has put on a little weight, he was like 11 years old at the time...
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/25/2003 04:56 AM EST
I entered that contest. I remember being convinced I was gonna win. needless to say I was very bitter and convinced none of the ones that made it were better than mine (well, the Netta one was just a empty net with eyes and a mouth on it!?)
What was mine? I had a guy with a drill on his arm that was an escape artist. Ok, not high concept but I submit that it had more play value than the others (of what I can rember, two others were a guy with an eyebal for a head that shot beams and a telapath with a head that split open to reveal a crystal) I spent a lot of time drawing him and wrote up a page long description. At least mine would of been easier to translate with the existing MOTU molds.
Ok, here's where it gets sublime. The name of my character, "Auger". Does that sound familar? It should at least to all of you hard core toy and cartoon geeks out there. It's the SAME NAME as the Inhumaniods resident mechanic WITH A DRILL ON HIS ARM!!! I don't know who exactly it was but some toy industry hack stole that from me!
Ok, the Inhumanoids line was made by Hasbro and not Matel, but some asswipe could of easily defected and took my reject pile concept with him. Imagne, a whole cartoon/action figure concept stolen from the fertive imaginations of the children of America.
When I was a kid I was convinced I had grounds for a lawsuit. Now that whole episode of my life is just embarassing.
Hell, At least I'm not Bitner
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/25/2003 05:49 AM EST
Here's a larger pic of Bitner from the article Jeremy posted: http://www.elecplay.com/interviews/nathan_bitner/bitner.jpg
Sure looks like him. I also sent an email to 2 email addresses I found from a Google search for 'nbitner'. They were both RoadRunner addresses but from different cities. I hope he replies. The subject line was "Nate, is that you? It's me, PHOTOG." so hopefully it will catch his attention.
Chestnuts roasted by MG @ 05/25/2003 06:00 AM EST
I just thought of something. When matt puts up enough updates this will eventually be pushed off of the mainblog page and end up in the archives. Not as many people will find it then. Maybe we can talk matt into putting this somewhere else on the site once it no longer is on the front page of the updates.
Chestnuts roasted by extraordinarymagnitude @ 05/25/2003 06:01 AM EST
Damn, one of the addresses bounced back an nondeliverable mail error. I guess I sort of expected that. We'll see what happens with the other address then.
Chestnuts roasted by MG @ 05/25/2003 06:04 AM EST
I think this whole thing should have its own button at the top. Maybe next to Whales there could be a Bitner button.
Chestnuts roasted by MG @ 05/25/2003 06:11 AM EST
Parallel lives- A dissertation.
By now we have an idea of the epic life and times of Nathan Bitner and the circumstances of the genesis of Photog. However to fully appreciate how both are representative of a specific zeitgeist we must look at certain comparisons.
NATHAN BITNER
1) The rise of the underdog:
11 year old Nathan Bitner is plucked from obscurity truimphing over thousands of applicants when he wins Mattel's competition.
2) Days of Glory:
Recieves 100,000 dollar scholarship, 5 day trip to Florida. Achieves title as He Man of the Issue (Masters of Universe Magazine Spring 86).
3) Grandiose accolades/title:
Creative consultant of Bungie.
CEO of Island Four
4)Psychosexual dysfunction:
Witness failed engagement, "sexless" relationship with prostitute.
5) Victim of Corporate hostility:
Fired from Bungie, Island four is liquidated,
6)The Fall:
Mounting debts, failed marriage mental illness spiral.
7) Rebirth:
Signs up for military service, is made into cult icon by readers of X entertainment.
Compare this with....
PHOTOG
1)The rise of the underdog:
Beats off stiff competition from googly eyed mousetrap men, elephant headed fire fighters in order to emerge victorious as one of He-man's heroic acolytes.
2)Days of Glory:
Promised full scale production and to bring pleasure to millions of children all over the globe.
3)Grandiose Accolades:
Often known as "Fearless".
4)Psychosexual dysfunction:
Overtly phallic head. Possible 'voyuristic' tendencies.
5)Victim of corporate hostility:
Screwed over royally by Mattel.
6)The fall:
Languishes for decades in obscurity. (possible alcoholism and nasty "broken lens" incident in 92)
7) Rebirth
Championed by the internet and plight brought to bear by Matt, now has petition for restoration to the pantheon of He-man's heroic warriors.
I would like to conclude this thesis with the possibility of future research into the following questions
"Was Bitners decline inevitable after the creation of Photog?"
"What role did photog play in shaping Bitner's destiny?"
"Is Bitner related to vigilante crime fighter Fearless Photog- defender of the needy (with faithful sidekick Gemini girl)?"
Chestnuts roasted by Spatch @ 05/25/2003 06:32 AM EST
Hey Ed, where did you find Bitner's stuff on the Bungie.org forums? (could you throw a link or two from them?) As in, what year was the bit about him getting married on June 9?
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/25/2003 07:04 AM EST
Well I found two nathan bitner's in the army global email addresses and emailed them both. Though if he is in Iraq now I'm pretty sure he won't have many chances to get to see it. But I'm here in Kuwait and he has to come back through here sooner or later to go back home so I'll keep an eye out for the creator of Photog!
Chestnuts roasted by edthacow @ 05/25/2003 07:30 AM EST
Lord have mercy.. I'm probably going to shoot myself for getting involved.. but wait.. I'm not Bitner..
It's BILLY Stafford, not Ricky. I asked that schmoe over at he-man.org or whatever the site is called a couple of years ago to correct the name, but so be it. I'm the one who created Brainwave. A friend of mine emailed me the link to the story.
And I haven't killed anyone's grandmother that I remember.. but you know how use MotU character creators are... hookers, depression, .. bah!
The contest was pretty fun, and I must admit I've held a grudge against Bitner for a long time since Leech (of The Horde) was already released, and by description had the same power as Photog, which should've disqualified the character in the judging.. Mine simply zotted the hell out of whomever was around.
But that was damn near 20 years ago. Sounds like life kicked his ass. Personally, I just wanted to know if he got to finally be prez of Mattel for a day, and if so, what he did during it. I emailed him when I found him working for Bungie some years ago, but never got a response. After reading the little bio, I'm honestly not surprised. Hookers? Give me a break!
Anyhow, I noticed one post who didn't like Brainwave, was curious if there were any of you that did. I was shocked beyond belief that I'd even placed as a finalist, and I can understand those of you who really tried to win this contest yourselves. I wish they'd had more contests similar to it because overall it was a real interesting experience.
I'd rather see Brainwave made anyhow :) But you could say I'm a little biased. I did try searching around for the other finalists to see if they'd done anything imparticular in life, but no dice. (Unless Josette really was Gemini, but somehow I highly doubt that.)
If you have questions, I'll check the comments on this tonight and answer whatever I can. I have a scrapbook of all the clippings/etc from it. BTW, considering I was 10 when all this ended, it was WAY cool to have pretty much every MotU figure and playset delivered to the door. MANY, MANY hours of enjoyment, and frankly almost as fun as that $50k was in college :)
Chestnuts roasted by Brainwave @ 05/25/2003 07:46 AM EST
I think this thing has become way bigger than any of us.
You've been doing ok though, right Billy? What have you been up to? I mean for a He-man contest placer you sound almost.. normal:)
Thanks for dropping in!
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/25/2003 09:42 AM EST
First, Bitners referance to "And give me back my black T-shirt" is a Ben Folds Five song. He must be a fan. Also, now we have found a runnerup.....one step away from Bitner Glory!!
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/25/2003 10:01 AM EST
For this movement to get into full swing, it needs a photog/Bitner website.
A website that will not only detail photog, but also the curve of Bitner's life, both what we know as fact and what we know as rumour.
And then someone needs to make a propaganda film in flash.
Then, this humble spark, can become a fire that consumes a nation
Chestnuts roasted by Steven @ 05/25/2003 10:35 AM EST
A friend of mine just sent me this link... Ho-lee Sheeit!
In 4 short days, Nathan Bitner has risen from the dustbin of history to take his proper place in the Halls of X-Entertainment Glory, alongside Jabba the Hutt, Megatron, and the Worst Witch.
Are you reading this, Mr. Bitner? We've been waiting for you. You are a legend here. Everyone knows your name here, and everyone here loves you.
Welcome home, Nathan Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by Varius @ 05/25/2003 10:48 AM EST
I found this last night, and I have to say it was the most compelling story of sex and infamy that didn't star Eric Roberts that I've ever seen. Anyway, after reading about the Bitner, I was telling the story to some friends of mine. One of them, when I asked if he remembered the contest, immediately said "Oh yeah, my half-sister went to school with the guy who won!" Upon further questioning, he said he was told that his half-sister (a resident of the Chicago suburbs at the time) had art class with Mr. Bitner, and as an assignment, they were all told to draw entries for the contest. The rest is history.
But this does pose an interesting question...if it was just a class assignment, it's entirely possible that Bitner wasn't even a fan of He-Man, never really expected to win, and possibly even was driven insane by the rash of attention his win suddenly garnered him.
Or perhaps that's a big leap. Regardless, it's kind of interesting information.
Chestnuts roasted by jacksname999 @ 05/25/2003 11:49 AM EST
Oh my!!!! This just gets better & better......
Chestnuts roasted by Rolfesangel @ 05/25/2003 01:14 PM EST
alright, if all of us sing the cheers theme song, maybe bitner will search for giant ape juice, to find the mother site. Better make sure we're up to snuff on our searches
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Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts. Six Breasts.
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/25/2003 02:13 PM EST
This is the best way to spend a Sunday. I wonder how they delivered those playsets....in a big crate at once or what....i find the runner-ups more interesting than Bitner himself. Maybe they'll start turning up dead one by one and it'll be like an episode of X-Files or something.
Chestnuts roasted by Eamon @ 05/25/2003 02:21 PM EST
I just did my first search for mr. bitner and got this. http://bs.bungie.org/mtarchives/000112.html
and it says... "Nathan Bitner may have been a big He-Man fan as a child. Thanked in the Minotaur: The Labyrinths of Crete manual. Level design, Myth II: Soulblighter. Left Bungie in 1999 to start a new game concern called Island Four, which never materialized. Disappeared off the face of the earth. Rumored to now be a Private First Class in the United States Army as a Health Care Specialist. May like Andrea Corr." What does it mean?
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/25/2003 02:24 PM EST
A very quick summary of his life, is what that means.
Oh, and Krappy, follow that link right above me, then just search the site for "Nathan Bitner", an assload of stuff will appear.
I'm glad we got someone to 3 degrees of seperation! And shit, not to mention a post by a runner-up...that's fucking sweet.
Oh and you should read what they are saying about us on metafilter.com
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/25/2003 03:02 PM EST
Hehehe.. well, I've been doing fine (thanks for asking.) I'm about as normal as typical geek goes. I'm really hoping I don't turn up dead, but then again, ya never know.
As for the toy shipment, I got 2 boxes, around 3'x3' that were packed solid. I'll see if I can swing by the folks house and scan in the pic of all the toys I got. I have a polorid of it all spread out on my bed. Kinda impressive, actually.
Chestnuts roasted by Brainwave @ 05/25/2003 03:23 PM EST
Wow Brainwave, how cool. I'm REALLY shocked that ol' Mattel came through! I'm TRYING to collect the 2003 MOTU figures, but it seems the big M is STILL all about the $$$. The new line is only a year old, and already we have a DOZEN god damned HE-MAN variations!! C'mon.........
I digress......
Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 05/25/2003 03:40 PM EST
Where can I post a pic of my "ten minute custom Fearless Bitner" figure? It's essentially a Grizzlor figure with a Ken doll head. I made two versions, "Young Bitner with spring-action punch, and "Bitter Bitner" with deluxe downward-spiral accessories......
:)
Chestnuts roasted by Dil-Do @ 05/25/2003 03:46 PM EST
"I summon the GHOST of BITNER to do my bidding"......"DESTROY Mattel BITNER!!"........
???
Chestnuts roasted by Skeletord @ 05/25/2003 03:48 PM EST
Everyday now I check this page after I check my email, what does this say about this bitner phenomenom....All we need is one more degree of seperation and we'll have him...Dammit Bitner, do a search for yourself on Google...By the way maybe his company would've lasted longer if he used Brainwave to do his concept art instead of Gemini...Also debating what is better... to acquire all of MOTU in two big boxes or to acquire it piecemeal using only your cunning and tantrum skills...not quite sure..
Chestnuts roasted by Whitemale_98 @ 05/25/2003 03:54 PM EST
You know, getting slightly off the subject of Bitner for a sec...I went over to He-Man.org and actually looked at the list of action figures and good freaking god, Matt hasn't even scratched the surface yet, has he? I'd never evne heard of Clamp Champ before (looks like OJ Simpson with a Jaws of Life strapped to his arm). I was a little worried we'd run out of ridiculous MOTU toys to be featured here on X-E, but I guess that's far from likely, since they made tons of crap like the Stilt Stalker.
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 05/25/2003 04:11 PM EST
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Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/25/2003 04:38 PM EST
Here's the Metafilter link:
http://www.metafilter.com/mefi/25942
80's junk culture? LoL!
Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/25/2003 05:25 PM EST
Thanks for the help, Brainwave. With your aid, we can shed some light on Mattell's curious prize fulfillment practices.
Chestnuts roasted by Eamon @ 05/25/2003 05:43 PM EST
I have to admit, when I posted before I scrolled to the bottom first to post because the thread was so long. When I went back to look it over I discovered that mine was not the only character concept to be perloined. This may come back to bite me in the ass latter but:
We can have a class action suit against Mattel. I'm sure there were a lot more of the contestants that had their characters stolen. Remember how mad you were when you saw YOUR guy (or girl ;) ) used with no credit to you what so ever. We can make Mattel eat our shorts, shove their faces in it, we'll finally make all the world se... wait a min. Didn't the statute of limitations expire already? Oh well, never mind.
BTW, Billy, sorry bro. Didn't mean to bash on Brainwave earlier. I just wa really bitter over the whole contest thing and was just useing Brainwave as a example because I rembered it ( I still for the life of me can't rember what the fifth one was, how great could that one have been). In truth yours was the only one I kinda liked and I would of voted for it if I wasn't such a pissy little brat. So sorry again man, no bad blood eh? Anyway we both missed out on the grand prise, though you got a complete MOTU toy collection... hold on... I still hate yo punk adzz!!!
(No, not really ;) )
Anyway, at least you're not Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/25/2003 06:11 PM EST
Whoa......I don't think this was posted yet, but it pertains to Nathan's interest in suicide and dates back to '93, and also is another confirmation of his middle name Elery......
http://www-2.cs.cmu.edu/afs/cs/project/theo-11/www/naive-bayes/20_newsgroup/sci.med/59568
Chestnuts roasted by Loneman1 @ 05/25/2003 06:35 PM EST
So Nathan Bitner, you think you can illude us! This is just the beginning! You cannot hide from the monstrous plastic death of PHOTOG. He will be created in flame and fire for all the land to see! Your legacy is an apparent lack of foresight on the part of Mattel and those crippled tricks must go down! This I COMMAND! Quick! We must get to work on the lifesized photog technology at once! And only the power of Knight industries, with circuits created from KITT, can the perfect vehicle become created with the mind numbing precission and artificial intelligence!
Besides, Mattel ruins all the cool toys. Why couldn't they make the muppets look like they did on TV? Animal never looked right.
Chestnuts roasted by Barlow @ 05/25/2003 06:56 PM EST
Got it Ed, thanks for the assist
Bitner asks if it's possible to commit suicide by taking Nyquil?!
He's also allegedly been posing as some stupid entity named Cortana (check out the Cortana Letters) and writing bizarre and cryptic emails from Bungie computers. Also some very optimistic quotes about Island4 and marriage, and a back-up girlfriend from southern Wisconsin (Gemini?). Some ramblings about the FBI and not enjoying taking shit from the people at the liquor store.
You know, I'm beginning to think he's not from Napierville ,but Mars.
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/25/2003 07:37 PM EST
(thanks to brandon too, sorry:)
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/25/2003 07:39 PM EST
That's unacceptable. I'd at least want the damn prototype.
Chestnuts roasted by Megatitawitz @ 05/25/2003 07:40 PM EST
You know, it might take a bit longer than most of us want to deal with, but it might be possible to send Bitner a snail-mail letter in care of whatever branch of the military he's in right now. I doubt he's too concerned with e-mails from people who he's never met asking him about He-Man, but if someone sat down and wrote a nicer letter, he might actually be touched.
Assuming of course that the "in care of" idea would work...I don't know that it would. Anyone else know?
Chestnuts roasted by jacksname999 @ 05/25/2003 07:58 PM EST
Nathan Bitner, you are the One. You can take the blue Photog and you'll wake up tommorrow and all this will have been a dream. Or you can take the red Photog and I'll show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Chestnuts roasted by Morpheus @ 05/25/2003 10:35 PM EST
You know, my Bro is in the Army; I could ask him how the whole "in care of" idea would play out. I've been reading this Bitner-licious Blog since the whole Photog thing began, and I must say this is intriguing, funny, and sad at the time.
Anyway, I can pursue the snail-mail approach if anyone is interested.
Chestnuts roasted by Forever Ape @ 05/25/2003 10:38 PM EST
just read most of this thread at 4 in the morning and it's the funniest shit ive ever read, and to agree with early stuff that article / interview posted by Jeremy, that was definitely Bitner. had to be, anyways, more beer
Chestnuts roasted by liam @ 05/25/2003 10:54 PM EST
just read most of this thread at 4 in the morning and it's the funniest shit ive ever read, and to agree with early stuff that article / interview posted by Jeremy, that was definitely Bitner. had to be, anyways, more beer
Chestnuts roasted by liam @ 05/25/2003 10:57 PM EST
After reading through this lovely Bitner-ific blog, I must say I'm hooked. I must know about Bitner, but if snail-mail and e-mail don't work, then a Bitner store should be opened online. It should sell Bitner/Photog shirts, commerative armbands, drink coasters (hey, I'd buy one), ect. and the proceeds would go to the Finding Bitner Foundation. The FBF would then use the money to hire Private Investigaters or make a telethon. Sooner or later, Bitner will, no MUST, show up.
Chestnuts roasted by Saithe Verity @ 05/25/2003 11:56 PM EST
Snail mail him, email him, case out his parents house, whatever, just keep this thing going because this happens to be the most intriguing thing Iv'e seen on the internet in a long time.
I have to say though, if I was Mr. Nathan Bitner I wouldn't reply. I mean, who would want to be a part of something that contrasted your greatest highs with your much lower lows. Though, he has a lot of supporters and well wishers here. sombody even started a petition on his behalf. proably would be well worth it for him to drop a line, even if only once.
BTW, is this the longest blog you've had Matt?
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/26/2003 12:27 AM EST
For some reason I have this strange fascination with Gemini in this sad, twisted, sorted affair. I feel like placing some calls to some "Houses of Ill Repute" in the Raleigh, NC area (they must be able to be located since they take credit cards... unless Bitner used cash advances) to see in any agency has heard of a girl named Gemini. I'd love to find a picture of what drove Bitner to, like, insanity.
Chestnuts roasted by She must be better looking than Heather Ramage, Kent State Univ. in Ohio prostitute @ 05/26/2003 01:08 AM EST
I'm thinking as far as the store goes, we go right to PHOTOG THONGS BABYBEE!
http://www.cafeshops.com/alexvsthepuzzle
i'm taking this down soon before big brother mattel swoops in and spanks me however.
Chestnuts roasted by Stinkythumbs @ 05/26/2003 01:27 AM EST
No one has figured it out yet, huh? Bitner is an illusion, a spectre. HE was recruited by Mattel to win the contest. They were never going to make the figure, it was a marketing ploy. Bitner was payed as well as his family. Still cheaper then retooling and going into full production . Thats why he refuses to make contact now. HE signed a contract with Mattel stipulating that he would never discuss the figure or lobby for its production. Bitner is not even his real name. It was Ralph Francis Dalvecio. He is currently a member of Air Force Para-rescue and serving in Iraq. God Speed Ralph!
Chestnuts roasted by Troubalert @ 05/26/2003 02:22 AM EST
Okay...I admit it...
The Search For Bitner has taken over my life.
I've spent hours online....Reading the posts here, going through all the links, googling until I can google no more...I leave this desk only to go to work, where I know have a handful of people using the phrase "so Bitner" - even if they don't understand what it means.
And my girlfriend is ready to leave me, simply because I asked her if I could start calling her "Gemini".
At first, it was fun. Then a challenge. Now, a sick, sad obession. In searching for Nathan Bitner, I have become Nathan Bitner.
And that is just Soooooo Bitner.
But whaddya say Matt? Do we get the Bitner Button? We really can't let this end until he's found. Our numbers grow daily. Our resolve is strong. But we, your loyal X-Eers need your help. Just a simple Bitner Button. Something that will alert the masses to our cause.
Because we have to find Nathan Bitner, you see. We have to find him, and save him.
If for no other reason than to maybe save ourselves.
Chestnuts roasted by Karmic Crimewave @ 05/26/2003 03:27 AM EST
Did a bit more research, going onto Google Groups and looking through Bitner's Usenet posts. Interesting note...from 1992 to 1997 he was using a couple of different University of Chicago addresses. He mentions in February of 1997 working on something called the "Diplomacy 'Zine" (he was apparently a huge fan of the board game).
Quite a lot of his posts are to alt.holiday.suicide, though mostly in response to others. The army info lists him as a "Health Care Specialist" or something along those lines...maybe he was a psych major or something?
He's a fan of the Chicago Bears, and of the Cranes and Smashing Pumpkins (never heard of the Cranes). He's also a Corrs fan, or at least of one member of the band, the hot chick.
By 1999 he's posting using a Bungie.com address, but here's the thing that gets me...he posts exclusively on videogame groups. So what does this mean? Well, could mean a few things...he's given up all his past interests (football, psychology, etc), he posts under two (or more different addresses), or...we're dealing with two different Nathan Bitners. I perused the Bungie-Bitner's posts, and could find no references to Chicago, so it IS a possibility. BUT...I did find a 1992 post where he talks quite enthusiastically about the Mac game Minotaur, so it's looking likely we're on the right track.
There's an almost exact 2 year gap between UChicago-Bitner and Bungie-Bitner (Feb 1997 is his last UChicago post, Feb 1999 is his first Bungie post...what happened during those two years?).
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 05/26/2003 04:14 AM EST
This...blog...needs...nay... deserves...an...icon...
Chestnuts roasted by Whitemale_98 @ 05/26/2003 04:27 AM EST
I checked out Nathan's suicide posts on Google (I feel like such a ghoul now) He has some really wierd arguments with a few people about suicide in 93. I'm positive that U. of Chicago Bitner and Bungie Bitner are the same; remember our man Tim who pretty much launched us with his four page post? He told us about Bitner's suicidal bouts and depression and mental clinic stints (which took place during Bungie). BTW, almost all of the suicide posts contain references to an obsession with Chicago Bear Mike Ditka.
"Can you can you kill yourself with 20-30 geltabs? I've got a bet with a friend. Worship Ditka!" Ugh.
In the post titled Deep Breath, Nathan claims he tried to commit suicide by taking a shitload of OTC drugs and sleep aids, etc.
I've got a hunch that this friend didn't exist, and that perhaps he had another stint in the mental hospital during this two year gap, and that it wasn't just for the weekend
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/26/2003 06:12 AM EST
www.shaner.us/digilib/02032003/a1/troops.html
Oh Fearless Bitner, how we do support thee.
Chestnuts roasted by RyanB @ 05/26/2003 06:30 AM EST
www.shaner.us/digilib/02032003/a1/troops.html
"I'm not sure any amount of training will prepare you for that"
What? Not even sleeping next to call girls and spending money you don't have?
Oh Fearless Bitner, how we do support thee.
Chestnuts roasted by RyanB @ 05/26/2003 06:31 AM EST
Maybe the friend was Photog?
Chestnuts roasted by dredt There, There @ 05/26/2003 06:52 AM EST
Just to play Devil's Advocate:
I Googled my own name... and one could draw a very Bitneresque portrait from it. To name a happier example, I share a name with a convenience store clerk in Nova Scotia who sold a winning lottery ticket.
SO, what if Bungie-Bitner researched his own name and found he shared it with a MotU contest winner, a Minotaur fan, and a suicidal Ditka fan? And maybe, as a stupid inside joke, he stuck that info into a bio of himself.
On the other hand, the Gemini stuff and the army could be Bungie-Bitner, or they could be two more Nathan Bitners, or any one of the Photog-Minotaur-Suicide Bitners...
EXCEPT: After studying Bungie-Bitner's photograph, I am almost certain that he is Photog-Bitner (something about the shape of his mouth...)
Good god! "The shape of his mouth?" Look at the shit Bitner is making me say! I sound like I love the guy. But don't we all?
Chestnuts roasted by Varius @ 05/26/2003 07:00 AM EST
Wait a second, so Bitner majored in psy. but got a job at Bungie?! If all it takes is a random degree from a college to work at a major game company than me and my humanities` degree are going on a road trip.
This does bring upon another question, how did Mr.B get a job at Bungie?
Maybe the two missing years in the Bitner downward spiral were spent in a community college grabing a comp. science bach.
PS Ditka is a funny name, say it aloud and you can amuse yourself for hours.. or at least I can.
Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Jibaku @ 05/26/2003 08:16 AM EST
For the newcomers to this blog who dont know about Ed Franklin's petition (about halfway through the 5000 entries above) make sure you all sign it. A couple of hundred signatures would be sweet.
http://www.petitiononline.com/photog01/petition.html
Oh yea, the Bitner icon for the homepage...great idea. C'mon Matt, you know we need it!!
Chestnuts roasted by Nialler @ 05/26/2003 09:47 AM EST
Just signed the petition. Under the "comments" section, I wanted to write:
"Mattel, you FILTHY, GREEDY, BOTTOM-FEEDING SCUMFUCKS, show an OUNCE of dignity and humanity and MAKE PHOTOG ALREADY..."
....but I wrote some nice blog. I also wanna say to Matt:
Bitner Button!! Bitner Button!! Bitner Button!! ...For Christ's sake, CLAWFUL gets HIS own button! If a CARNIVAL FREAK He-Man villian gets HIS own button, c'mon......
Chestnuts roasted by Joe @ 05/26/2003 10:12 AM EST
All joking aside gang, (that phrase is probably FUTILE here, but..) do you think it's ACTUALLY feasable for the big M to create a Photog figure? I wonder HOW MANY sigs it would TAKE? Mattel, like most big conglams, is all 'bout the $$$, so I'm betting if the sigs went into the THOUSANDS one of their greaseball lawyers would take notice..... The thing is though, I would not want a "Photog 2003", but instead a "classic" Photog. Anyway.......
Chestnuts roasted by Clump Chump (OJ Simpson w/jaws of life...HAHAHAAWWW!!!) @ 05/26/2003 10:21 AM EST
Are YOU doing YOUR part for Fearless Bitner? Not to BOAST, but I got FOURTEEN of my chums to sign the petition! C'mon guys!!........
:)
Chestnuts roasted by Joe~Kerr @ 05/26/2003 10:29 AM EST
I agree; This Bitner Phenomenon needs its own button; even if we find out that we've been getting out Bitner's crossed, we'll still have found the truth!
Chestnuts roasted by Forever Ape @ 05/26/2003 10:30 AM EST
Wait; so Bitner was obsessed with suicide in the Cobain/grunge era? Phh: big deal. You didn't live through the nineties unless you played with razor blades and had an unhealthy obsession with washing your hands. That's just being a joiner. Colour me unimpressed.
Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 05/26/2003 11:30 AM EST
Ive just read the entire article and i think that it is the exact same guy who worked at bungie and is in the army and everything. Im really confused about the whole hooker thing but anyway, ive signed the petition.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 05/26/2003 12:15 PM EST
I'm convinced that all are the same person. at the bungie site that deals w/ previous employee's (linked in one of my posts earlier) it has references to photog, and also in the cantana letters, some info on nathan tells that he attended university of chicago.
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/26/2003 12:34 PM EST
"She must be better looking..." I live in that area and I happen to live about five freaking minutes away from a house of ill-repute! Everyone knows where it is, and what it is, but oh well, someone downtown gets their pockets lined every month! I think Thomas Wolfe once wrote in his novels about getting "laid" here once... My cousin's friend in high school lived right next door to it, I pass it every time I drive on down to the Subway! Retch! To be honest, though, Gemini doesn't sound like a person who would be in "this" particularly area. If you want those artsy skanky types, you'd have better luck on The HiLL. Ours are more like the "toothless and willing" variety. Oh, and the numbers are not listed in the yellow pages just the local whites. I guess you need a recomendation by word of mouth, so to speak...
Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/26/2003 01:14 PM EST
Crap, how could I be so stupid! Bitner went to school at The HiLL right? He only lived in Raleigh. NO wonder!!! SHEEEEEAAAAITTTT!!! Yeah I can vouch for the veracity of that story kids, that's a roost for some looney "birds" let me tell ya!
Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/26/2003 01:27 PM EST
While I can't claim credit for being the first one to ask for a Bitner icon, I am glad to see the idea gaining momentum...on the plus side I just signed the petition...I don't know if this few signatures will get it done but we shall see...by the way, some pretty funny comments, but I have to say the funniest one is this one, and no it isn't mine:
42. He-Man
You mean I've been hanging around Moss Man and Man-At-Arms when I could be with Photog? DAMN YOU MATTEL!!
Chestnuts roasted by Whitemale_98 @ 05/26/2003 03:00 PM EST
I've signed the petition, what more can I do (live in Europe)..?
Chestnuts roasted by Oeg @ 05/26/2003 03:15 PM EST
alright, we're all doing our part to get the fearless photog action figure, maybe it's time we do all we can to get a bitner icon on x-e. c'mon, do we have to start a petition for that too? this guy's had it rough enough already!
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/26/2003 03:36 PM EST
It's done, over. We killed it, just like Mattel killed Bitner's life. The blog will never be the same. I can't beleive that we have single-handedly changed the blog into something sick, sad, and twisted. Anyway, Nathan, please contact us, so we can all go back to sleep. What the hell is wrong with me, and all of us? We're like moths to the bright flame that is Nathan Bitner. My God, that is so Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 05/26/2003 04:00 PM EST
To the person who asked: yes, this is by far the largest blog entry, at least in terms of comments. What can I say...Photog and Bitner combined are way more inspiring than I could ever hope to be. Considering what I'm up against, I'm not at all surprised.
But yeah, this beats the previous leader by way over a hundred comments. Go Bitner Go.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/26/2003 04:31 PM EST
Thank for answering Matt. I can only imagine what you could be doing besides looking over this session.
Any way, as much as I like our little bit of home grown insanity. I don't know how long it can go on for. It's legs seam to be pretty good right now, but I can,t see this going on forever (as much as I hate to admit it, prob. a good thing). For what it's worth, i'll be on this train untill it crashes (for the last time).
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/26/2003 05:16 PM EST
You know, Nathan Bitner is sort of like Jesus: everyone wants him to come back, but nobody knows what they'll do if he actually shows up.
What if he does appear? And what if, despite all our talk of hookers and suicide, he posts a response? Will we still stand ready to mock him? Or will we be star-struck, with even the most cynical among us gazing reverently at his holy blog comment, begging for forgiveness?
Okay, that's it. I'm officially obsessed. I hereby announce the founding of the Church of Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by Varius @ 05/26/2003 05:36 PM EST
Church of Bitner........Sign me up! I would like a place of ministry though.
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/26/2003 05:49 PM EST
I want to make the statue of Photog for the Church of Bitner. I have an idea. This Friday, the 30th, at 8:30 p.m., we all go out and stand on our porches, and scream, "Nathan Bitner, where are you?" That would be cool. See you at the church meeting tonight.
Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 05/26/2003 06:16 PM EST
"Bitner is kind of like Jesus..." Words I thought would never be spoken...but I see the connection, rise to prominence, spending time with prostitutes and tax collectors, and being betrayed by Judas...that Tim guy, oh yes, and they were both poor, very poor.
Chestnuts roasted by Whitemale_98 @ 05/26/2003 06:17 PM EST
I looked around He-Man.org and found this custom Photog:
http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/showthread.php?s=136ec4991ee81de57c181f8a9206b35f&threadid=39855&highlight=photog
Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 05/26/2003 06:32 PM EST
I just looked at the pics of that custom Photog... did anyone else scroll down to the post by Mandalorian30... a.k.a. EL DIABLO SILVERADO!
Nathan Bitner, release me from your web of treachery! I'll still support the Church.
Chestnuts roasted by Varius @ 05/26/2003 07:40 PM EST
For a while I prayed that I'd wake up from this insanity and find it all a weird dream, that Mattel had made Photog in 1986 as promised with nary a scandal or fracas, and that I'd look over and see his stupid camera face all tangled up in that funny tree on top of the Fright Zone. No, we're in this one for the long haul. This is probably going to end really eerily; I'm not ruling out Nathan feeding us a live link from a Photog shaped webcam, being levitated into the air by a UFO and exploding like a giant firecracker
This is all just so Bitner.
The cult of Bitner, hmm...alright.
Just make the Kool-aid Mountain Berry okay:)
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/26/2003 07:51 PM EST
I've decided to take a different approach to this and I e-mailed Tim Wilk, the author of the post on the Bungie board. I told him about this page and I invited him to post. I'll keep everyone informed if I receive a response.
Chestnuts roasted by Panic Scam @ 05/26/2003 08:03 PM EST
If Tim's out there, jump on in and post; we'd love to hear from someone who's actually hung out with the guy; sorry I said you were a jerk near the top--I was just in shock at the sordid saga unfolding from the boy hero (read as many posts as you can stand)
I dispute you on only one point; Bitner may be many things but he does not seem to be a slacker; he has apparently taken a more active role in his own demise than most could even begin to attempt.
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/26/2003 08:52 PM EST
This is sure interesting!! I like to go with the theroy that Nathan Bitner was just a kid who drew it for an Art Contest at school and won that just sounds funny and in a weird way makes sense he'd turn out to be the winner.
About this Tim Wilk story I don't buy any of it. He's making it up. It'll be interesting to see what he makes up if he actually comes by.
Thanks X-E and Matt for making this a very interesting story for the last few days.
Chestnuts roasted by Toilet Duck Fan @ 05/26/2003 08:52 PM EST
My my my, who knew that a post I made over a year ago would generate so much inquisition into the defunct live of the infamous Nathan Bitner. I’ve been asked to drop in on this blog/forum and let everyone know I’m out here and willing to take questions (to an extent) about the subject.
I will start off by letting you all know that I have no idea if the Bungie/Army Bitner that I know is the Fearless Photog Bitner. The subject of He-Man or MOTU never came up in any conversations we had.
I will clearly state for the record that my post was not an attack of any sort on Bitner, nor was it done to deface his image, persona, reputation or that of anyone else mentioned in the post. I will admit that it was slightly emotional and gloomy, but it was a story that needed to be told to the Bungie fan base community.
After reading many of the posts here about my post I will assume that a great number, if not all of you are not participating members in the Bungie fan community. If you were, you would understand the need for such a post. It provided not only closure for me and others that were close or acquainted with Bitner/Bungie/Island Four but also served as a page in game development history to be viewed by all who may envision their selves in the industry one day.
I hope I can bestow on all of you the impression that I hold no ill-will towards Nathan Bitner. I would very much like to know how he is doing. Betrayal, deceit, and debt are all waters under a bridge that have been pushed away by time and understanding. However it is true that some wounds cannot heal without additional closure, which is why I will accept a phone call or an e-mail from him.
My motivation for encouraging Bitner to not file for bankruptcy had nothing to do with the $300 he owes me, not one thing at all. Truth be told, bankruptcy is a horrible thing to have to do, it does untold horrors to your credit and can be a deciding factor with employers in almost any major industry field. Filing for bankruptcy would only have been a short term fix for Bitner’s problems.
I kept my word to him and did not run away when times got tough. In my first meetings with him we discussed the difficulties of getting a “small business” off the ground. When he made me the offer to work for Island Four I made a commitment to him to be a founding partner of sorts to help keep things moving forward. When Bitner started falling, I was there the whole time trying to keep him afloat and on track. It was only when he willing left that I was no longer able to push Island Four or Nathan Bitner forward.
Bitner was/is a smart man. He and I came up with some very brilliant ideas that would have added a new flavor to the video game industry. Alas it flopped and we are where we are now.
I will conclude with one more thing.
If you’d really like to know how to get a job with Bungie I can tell you that being a roommate with Alex Seropian and Jason Jones (founders of Bungie) in the pre-bungie days wouldn’t hurt. It sure as hell helped Nathan.
Feel free to question this post, the HBO post or any other post I’ve ever made. You may also feel free to e-mail me about this.
Tim
Chestnuts roasted by Tim Wilk @ 05/26/2003 09:35 PM EST
Wow.
But it makes sense that Bitner wouldn't talk about Photog; this supports the theory that perhaps he was a spectre, only hired to win so Mattel wouldn't have to go into Photog Production.
Thanks Tim; this cleared up some personal questions I had about your story. And BTW, bankruptcy *does* mess stuff up.
Chestnuts roasted by Forever Ape @ 05/26/2003 09:44 PM EST
Well, I of course can not speak for Bitner, but I know personally that MotU only comes up once every 3-4 years within my circle of friends. When you're that young getting publicity like we did, it really wears it out of you. So if Bitner didn't talk about it, it wouldn't surprise me in the least. (That, and he was 11 at the time)
As for it being the same Bitner, I have no idea how large Naperville is, but that's where the contestant was from AND where the Bungie guy was supposedly from. Not sure how big that town is, but Bitner is hardly a common surname that I've heard.
Chestnuts roasted by Brainwave @ 05/26/2003 09:47 PM EST
So, finally my university of chicago degree can get me something--access to the alumni directory. However, no Bitner listed, so perhaps he opted out. (However, his roommate from the http://www.elecplay.com/interview.html?article=5890&startnum=15#mr_toppy interview is there)
Chestnuts roasted by nerdy @ 05/26/2003 10:03 PM EST
Seems there's been some more debate about if The Bungie-Bitner is the same as the Photog-Bitner. Well, thanks to this link submitted a ways up by "kcghkcg", we have pretty much undisputable proof that they are one and the same. Go to http://bs.bungie.org/mtarchives/cat_sightings.html and scroll down to the "Former Bungie Employees" area way down the page. There's a little bio of Bungie-Bitner. It not only notes that he was a big He-Man fan as a kid, but next to his bio there's a pic of none other than Fearless Photog. Never fear, Bitnerites, they are the same soul.
BUNGIE-BITNER=PHOTOG-BITNER
Chestnuts roasted by Heathuer Ramage, the soul of a Kent State University prostitute @ 05/26/2003 10:24 PM EST
My ex girlfriend was from Naperville originally. Their only other non-Bitner claim to fame was being the hometown of super-assy crap punk-pop band Lucky Boy's Confusion.
i'd ask her if she grew up with Bitner..she's about the same age. But then again she's a dirty dirty tramp, and i don't feel like emailing her.
Chestnuts roasted by Po @ 05/26/2003 10:28 PM EST
My goodness. I go out of town for the weekend and come back to all this! We've been mentioned on MetaFilter, gotten within a few degrees of seperation, and even gotten a post from Tim! I sense that our journey is drawing to a close. The road may be difficult, but victory shall be ours!
Let us just hope that our own little art contest does not lead to the kind of debauchery that Mattel's original did.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/26/2003 10:46 PM EST
Hey, Po....I'd be more than happy to email her for you....I have an affinity for dirty, dirty tramps (I hope to Hell my girl doesn't see that), and if it brings us one step closer to fully unravelling the mystery that is the great and glorious - not to mention sadly (although perversely amusing)self destructive -Bitner, I will fell as though I have played a part in this grand crusade. Something that would give my life meaning.
Hmmm...I think this means I should get out more, yes?
And thanks for ringing in, Tim!
Chestnuts roasted by Karmic Crimewave @ 05/26/2003 11:43 PM EST
I have to admit this is the best blog I've ever read! I want to join the church of bitner as an alter boy :-D
Chestnuts roasted by spiffymckracken @ 05/27/2003 12:29 AM EST
Man, now we got Tim, Brainwave, the picture of Photog next to his name on the website...so close...now that I think about it, I thinks Matt's art contest is trying to distract us from reaching our goal...so am I right Matt? Or should I say Matt-el?
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/27/2003 12:32 AM EST
Damn you Matt, I try and tell the world you're a cover for the nefarious international corporation Mattel and you cut my word off so no one would notice....I feel like I'm in the movie, "They Live" and Matt knows I'm wearing the glasses...So Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/27/2003 12:37 AM EST
What can I say? My allegiances are worthy.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt-el @ 05/27/2003 12:45 AM EST
I suggest a little less bubblegum chewing and a little more kicking of the ass.
emailed the ho-bag. lets see if we reap benefits. BITNER BENEFITS!
woo..i'm drunk
Chestnuts roasted by Po @ 05/27/2003 12:46 AM EST
Nathan Bitner, on the next X-E True Naperville Story :) We need t-shirts that instead of having "Save Ferris" on them, they have "Save Bitner". We'll make millions! Oh, and coasters too...
Chestnuts roasted by Megamanfan @ 05/27/2003 02:11 AM EST
Been reading this site for three years; never posted; always too shy.
Now.
Now is the time.
This beats anything on the NPO message boards. This beats Livejournal. Where do I send the money?
Chestnuts roasted by mojocat @ 05/27/2003 03:06 AM EST
Wow. Thank you Tim for joining us in this discussion. The tangled story of Bitner you wove was very interesting, indeed.
138 sigs on the petition, guys, thank you so much!
The aborted fetus that is Photog may just get another chance at life...
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/27/2003 03:12 AM EST
aaaaaaaaand for anyone that missed it, sign the petition here:
http://www.petitiononline.com/photog01/petition.html
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/27/2003 03:13 AM EST
done. and done.
i will get my canadian contingent to sign, also. anything i can do.
and as the dandy artwork on my page may tell you, i think i have an inside shot at this Photog art contest. Not to sound cocky, but hey, I like cock.
Chestnuts roasted by mojocat @ 05/27/2003 03:37 AM EST
Wow, the Tim Wilk responded, man, just as like this thing had reached it's zenith, it picks up in an undead zombie kind of way (not that this has anything to do with you Tim, I just mean this thing is a monster that just won't die)
It's nice to hear that Tim has no malice for Bitner. As much as it would of been a pain to be a part of this guy's downward spiral, I really feel sorry for him and hope it all turns out OK for him in the end. Comedy aside, I hope this guy gets back on his feet.
I just don't want to use him as a scape goat for my bumps in life and to boost my self esteme (and if anyone can make me feel like Malcom Forbs it's Nathan Bitner). making jokes is one thing, but this guy deserves a break. If He does by any remote chance post here, give the man a break and don't bust his balls please.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/27/2003 04:25 AM EST
Just wanted to make one thing clear, I'm on the west coast, so while I am a insomniac, I'm not as big of one as I appear. Just wanted to get that out.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/27/2003 04:43 AM EST
For the sake of my own clarity, here's a crude timeline as best I could make of everything:
1986--Nathan Bitner is announced as the winner of the He-Man design-a-figure contest with the entry of dick,er, camera-headed Photog; accepts a $100,000 scholarship and trip to California; Photog never appears.
1992--Minotaur post from uchicago.edu email address
Apr. 1993--the Nyquil suicide post from Univ. of Chicago address; various posts on suicide.alt during 93-94
(he used the scholarship to go U.of Chicago? no alumni notice so must not've graduated)
1997--more suicide.alt posts from uchicago.edu; confirmed Psych major at Chapel Hill in NC
1999--Bitner quits Bungie (When did he start?), to complete his psych degree
Dec. 2000--Bitner announces creation of his own little company Island Four and starts recruiting
Jan. 2001--Bitner does interview about IslandFour; last known photograph
2002--Tim Wilks reveals the twisted tale of Bitner's descent after Bungie and Bitner's plans to join the Army
2003--Bitner is quoted as Private First Class in the Army by a journal or paper shortly before Shock and Awe
Yes, there are many gaps; many of Bitner's posts during the 90's are under the University of Chicago's uchicago.edu email and make it a bitch to figure out which damn school he was in; best I can tell is he started in U. Chicago and left for Chapel Hill.
-What are the dates for him starting and leaving each school? Did he go back to school after Bungie? And yes, where was he between 97 and 99?
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/27/2003 05:21 AM EST
Theres also a nathan E Bitner in chicago.
Chestnuts roasted by brentlok @ 05/27/2003 05:51 AM EST
Hmmm..there hasnt been a post in a while...anyone else worried that this blog will disappear to the annals of blog folklore and we will all simply FORGET about Bitner????
NO I say!!!! So heres another post just for the hell of it.
Chestnuts roasted by Nialler @ 05/27/2003 08:33 AM EST
I just noticed the time over there in the States...no wonder there hasnt been a post in a while...how foolish I feel. Disregard the last post...and this one too.
Chestnuts roasted by Nialler @ 05/27/2003 08:35 AM EST
The first thing I do when I wake up is go to the computer and read this blog.......
What has my little world come to?
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/27/2003 09:00 AM EST
True, although I've noticed that a rather large number of Bitnerites are nocturnal creatures. Perhaps there is a connection between our inability to sleep through the night and our fascination with Bitner. Bitner would make the perfect "tragic hero" figure in a Sophocles-style Greek tragedy.
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 05/27/2003 09:05 AM EST
Guys, I think we have enough here for a movie. Some kind of documentary about our search, or maybe a "Search for Dr. Livingston"-style adventure story... "Mr. Bitner, I presume."
All this talk of a fallen 80's minor-kid-celebrity has got me worried about Thor Aackerlund (sp?).
Bonus Nerd-Points if you remember who Thor Aackerlund was. And if you're a girl and you remember, I'll marry you. Seriously.
Chestnuts roasted by Varius @ 05/27/2003 09:27 AM EST
I think that Thor guy one a game tournament back in the day; Fred Savage anyone?
Chestnuts roasted by Forever Ape @ 05/27/2003 10:05 AM EST
For some reason i cant post any links, but i did a search for people called Nathan bitner approx age 29 and found one living in chapel hill with the exact same name (Including middle name) and one who has an E fr his middle name living in chicago. Both are 29. So there are 2 Nathan E Bitners who could possibly be our photog creator. also the one ihn the army wont be listed so thats 3 possibilitys.
i think this sorta confuses everything.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 05/27/2003 10:23 AM EST
Sorry Brent - the link you submitted was so long, it broke the Blog's tables. :) Had to delete it. I hope you're not Bitner about it.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/27/2003 10:31 AM EST
Ah yes good old Thor Aackerlund.
Man, I loved Nintendo but I never entered any competitions.
By the way, Varius, you dont have to marry me.
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/27/2003 10:43 AM EST
Things I have learned so far from tis post:
1) While Mattel has made some of our favorite toys it is still a souless mega corp where money is the bottom line and ruins lives on occasion.
2) I wasn't the only one who sent in an entry to the create a figure MTOU contest only to have the character concept riped off.
3) Sometimes having childhood dreams come true may not be a good thing.
4) Psychology majors (of which I am) include a number of nutcases everywhere, not just at my school.
5) There are children of the 80's worse off than me, poor Mr. Bitner.
6) This is the first message board where no body noticed/carred about my poor spelling. Thanx guys :)
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/27/2003 10:53 AM EST
The Dalvecio family (later Bitner) participted in some early MKULTRA experiments as test subjects in the late 60's early 70's. This lead to the family becoming entangled in a 5 year long court battle with the US gov. (sorry court records sealed)
The family was put into the WPP and travled around the country in a VW vanagon until 85'(another adventure), when young Ralph(now Nathan)was intitiated in to the Sons of J. Demolay. Soon Nathan would be inlisted by Brethren to participate in a conspiracy that would shake the toy industry to its core if it were ever revealed. Nathan will not communicate because of those oaths sworn to Osiris and a 12" GIJOE, the one with the Bionic eye. Think what you want but there is far more to this story then meets the eye.
Chestnuts roasted by troubalert @ 05/27/2003 11:23 AM EST
See, it's stuff like that that keeps me coming back for more.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/27/2003 11:27 AM EST
Ok thanks for letting me know matt. If anyone wants to check go to yahoo.com and then go onto search people and then type in nathan Bitner. it'll take you to the page.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 05/27/2003 12:07 PM EST
I will be checking this site daily until the mystery of Bitner is solved. I want to know where he is now, what he is doing, what he looks like and what he thinks of all of the attention he is getting.
Chestnuts roasted by Chaos Mage @ 05/27/2003 12:09 PM EST
Here, here!! I don't have much of a life either.
Well, since this Bitner ordeal reared its ugly head anyway. Alas, most people will now miss this blog as it gets more and more outdated. In fact, all visitors to the site should be redirected to this blog in the hope that someone out there knows Bitner and tells hime to get in touch. Something radical must be done!!!!
Chestnuts roasted by Nialler @ 05/27/2003 12:28 PM EST
Once again I cry out for an icon, we were making such progress yesterday, please don't let this blog disappear into the abyss, it cannot be created and then disappear for this to happen to Bitner again, I just think the Photog similarities are too eerie, blog glory followed by blog banishment...it'll be another 16 years before this is discovered...and by then who knows what he'll have done...Screw Thor Aakerland...we can only handle one obscure 80's icon at a time.
Chestnuts roasted by Whitemale_98 @ 05/27/2003 01:34 PM EST
I must say that Bitner is truly an inspiring person. Instead of playing it safe and living a boring comfortable life, this guy has taken life by the balls and lived it. Like the old saying goes, it is better to try and fail than to regret never trying at all. Sure he has had his failures but he's also had some great sucesses like Halo and Photog. He's probably done more before the age 30 than some people accomplish their entire lives, without having to worry about what would have happened if he had refused to follow his dreams. For his bold efforts and for his ability to get back up again when life knocks him down, I would like to salute Nathan Bitner!
Chestnuts roasted by Lord Fisto @ 05/27/2003 02:17 PM EST
I don't think this entry is disappearing anytime soon. MetaFilter links directly to this page, and those of us with our own sites should post the hell out of this link.
Although there seems to be a divide over whether Bitner is a hero or a zero, I know in my heart that if he made his divine presence known to us, every single one of us would be kow-towing and asking breathless questions. Sure, he's a nutball, but so were most of history's greatest geniuses. Yes, he may be geeky and have a little trouble playing well with others. I think that we've already established that most of us here are geeky anti-social butterflies who may or may not have had milk poured on our heads in grade school. And if that fact hasn't already been established, I think that an (almost) 300 post thread about a defunct action figure may just cinch it.
Long...Live...BITNER!
There can be only one.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/27/2003 03:28 PM EST
Anyone ever have the idea to start calling people with the last name Bitner around Chiago? It might sound wierd, but who knows, we might find some mysteries answered.
This has compelled me to even considure doing it myself, and I'm usually the shy type!
Chestnuts roasted by Grassetto @ 05/27/2003 03:45 PM EST
Looking in the phone book for something completely unrelated, I decided to see if there were any Bitners here in 718. Well there aren't, but there is a George Bittner. I almost called him but decided against it.
Chestnuts roasted by MG @ 05/27/2003 04:25 PM EST
Petition Signature #150
Chestnuts roasted by The Nate Meng Show @ 05/27/2003 04:26 PM EST
Is there some sort of Bitner conspiracy? I swear it said 298 posts, and now reads 296......is there a ghost in the machine?
Chestnuts roasted by The Nate Meng Show @ 05/27/2003 04:27 PM EST
Id phone him, except i live in the uk and it would cost to much. Ill email the guys with the last name bitner.
just give me a list of emails and ill start sending.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 05/27/2003 04:42 PM EST
my dumb ass forgot that I work for one of the largest computer corperations in the world, and as such have access to the sales of computers.....ect ect, boring stuff. anyway I now have contact information for bungie so that I can contact them directly to find out what they know about bitner, the producer of halo, and bitner, the creator of photog! horray for me!
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/27/2003 04:44 PM EST
Perhaps the Blog caught Bitner fever like the rest of us....
Or we just broke it.
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/27/2003 04:46 PM EST
woohoo broke 300!!!
Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 05/27/2003 05:28 PM EST
Has anyone mentioned WWNBD bracelets? 'Cause now I'm going to be rich.
Chestnuts roasted by ineptitude @ 05/27/2003 05:37 PM EST
I don't *think* anyone has tried this yet...I've been a huge He-Fan for a while, and I remembered that, originally, the creators of He-Man.org had actually gotten in touch with Nathan Bitner. Doing a search on the Internet Archive, I discovered the site's 1999 "Fearless Photog" page. Note the email address used for Bitner.
http://web.archive.org/web/20010330083913/www.he-man.org/toys/prototypes/fearless_photog.shtml
Chestnuts roasted by Poe Ghostal @ 05/27/2003 05:46 PM EST
Great detective work, Poe! The 'bungie' e-mail address proves some previous Bitner points, too.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/27/2003 05:48 PM EST
How long will this madness last? Will this blog last forever? I hope so. I will track down all 29 year-old Nathan Bitners, and call them. If you would all be so good as to provide me with the e-mails and phone numbers, I will contact him, and find if these are the real Nathan. I will forego the phone charges to end this insanity. Thank you.
Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 05/27/2003 06:08 PM EST
Wow; Bansheex taking one for the team.
Chestnuts roasted by Forever Ape @ 05/27/2003 06:36 PM EST
Go Bansheex! Thanks!
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/27/2003 06:40 PM EST
All I have to say is that this whole mysterie has consumed my life. Everyday when I get home from school I imediatly check the blog(usually during class too) and now I'm even working on a PowerPoint project for comp applications about the troubled life of the Bit.
LONG LIVE BITNER
Chestnuts roasted by NinJor-X @ 05/27/2003 07:10 PM EST
Come on Matt, you know you want to put up a Bitner icon.
Chestnuts roasted by NinJor-X @ 05/27/2003 07:16 PM EST
In the unlikely event a "Nathan Bitner" movie is ever released, I would like to nominate Steve Buscemi to play our unlucky Forrest Gump style antihero.
Has anyone else imagined what he would be like, or how best he would be cinematically portrayed?
What about Gemini? Psychotic call girl or reluctant victim? Would Tim be characterised as a reluctant stoical pal or bean spilling stoolie?
And probably the most important question, Photog: CGI or modelwork?
The possibilities are endless, but this could be the new "Rocky"
Chestnuts roasted by Spatch @ 05/27/2003 07:21 PM EST
MY FRIENDS!
I have answered the call for a SAVE PHOTOG website!
http://www.savephotog.tk/
YAY!
Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 05/27/2003 07:39 PM EST
Follow up: I emailed Val Staples, the founder and owner of He-Man.org, about NB. He says he spoke to him a few years ago, when NB was still in college. He doesn't know who put the Bungie email link there. My guess is it was Matt Tyree, the guy who runs the site, but in any event I doubt anyone would have put up that link without getting it from Nathan itself. Bungie wasn't *that* big a player in 1999.
Oh yeah, and check out this picture:
http://web.archive.org/web/20010423013015/http://www.he-man.org/fan_creations/cac/cac85.thumb.jpg
Chestnuts roasted by Poe Ghostal @ 05/27/2003 07:40 PM EST
310 posts, wow...
The only contact I can think of that might work is to try calling the Bitners in Napierville, IL and hope they're his parents. Screwy as he is, Nathan strikes me as the kind of kid who would at least let his parents know if he's overseas in Iraq or in the clink somewhere. They could at least tell us which, and maybe even tell us where he was between 1997 and 1999. As his legal guardians they would probably know more than anyone alive about the details of the contest prize. Just don't tell them about Gemini; it would break his mother's heart!
I don't think any of his email addresses can be trusted as the ONE, so either carpet-bomb them all or stick to the phone and snailmail. We've already dragged El Diablo Silverado, Billy "Brainwave" Stafford, and Tim into this; who's next, Ditka?
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/27/2003 07:41 PM EST
Not Ditka. My ex girlfriend.
Here's a few quotes from the email I recieved once I sent her one asking about any Bitner memories having grown up in the same town. (my comments appear thus)
Hey Scott,
Must confess I wasn't expecting to hear from you any time soon. Not to worry! It was a pleasant suprise! I'm glad to hear you're doing well. (I never mentioned I was doing well)
(deleted b.s. about her family is fine, etc)
I confess I don't remember a Nathan Bitner from back home, but then there's a possibility I may have forgotten. My memory isn't what it once was. :) :)(crack is whack babydoll.) On the plus side your email was pretty funny. My boyfriend read it and he was cracking up also :) (never fucking fails..have to mention the boyfriend..nice. deleted more non-bitner b.s.)
I talked to Amanda and she doens't remember a Nathan growing up either. However, you remember me telling you about her friend Rachel? The hypocritical virgin-slut? (No.) Her last name was Bitner if i'm not mistaken. Or Berner or something.
(blah blah more crap where she manages to mention her boyfriend again)
anyway that's all. sorry I wasn't of much help kids.
"my boyfriend read it.."
christ..that is so fucking Bitner
Chestnuts roasted by Po @ 05/27/2003 08:05 PM EST
An interesting quote from one of Bitner's (yes, it's another alt.suicide from Google) '94 posts;
"I have taken classes and studied research in personality theories,...general psychology, SELF-DESTRUCTION..." This must explain why he's been so good at it
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/27/2003 08:17 PM EST
Po, that has to have been the funniest e-mail I've ever read. What does a Rachel Bitner have to do with anything? Maybe a sister? Cousin? Future Gemini?
Chestnuts roasted by Forever Ape @ 05/27/2003 09:32 PM EST
This story must be turned into a 500 page tell-all coffee table book. The world must know the truth about Bitner!
Chestnuts roasted by Lucky Cat @ 05/27/2003 09:35 PM EST
...Maybe that's why he never utilized Gemini's services: she was his SISTER!
I dunno; I'm bored...
Chestnuts roasted by Forever Ape @ 05/27/2003 09:36 PM EST
Hmm... I did a quick Whitepages.com search for Bitner in Naperville, IL. There are none.
HOWEVER!
There are !4! BitTners... Perhaps the same? Anyone up to call one/all of them and ask if they know a Nathen Bitner of MoTU and hero of this website?
Chestnuts roasted by Grassetto @ 05/27/2003 10:04 PM EST
I was just checking out the petition and I realized, has anyone considered getting in touch with Mattel to tell them about this? I doubt they're even aware about this whole thing, and getting in touch with them might bring us a little closer to the goal of getting Photog made, and there by saving the Bit.
Chestnuts roasted by NinJor-X @ 05/27/2003 10:16 PM EST
I'm curious who the hell Rachel Bitner/Betner/Boogaloo is myself. I'd write Leslie again but the last email made me want to pound nails into my eyes sooo...
Not to mention my girlfriend caught me searching on google for "Rachel Bitner Gemini Whore" and for some reason she won't let me touch her...
she's so bitner dude
Chestnuts roasted by Po @ 05/27/2003 10:17 PM EST
this isn't fair. he was just a little kid and didn't know anything about fine print or anything else. all he wanted was to have his super hero character dream made into a reality. i hope that if they did give him scholarship money that he used that money to get an education that would allow him to make his dream come true for himself or to stick it to the people who broke their promise and in doing so manipulated the heart of an 11 yr old boy with great creative potential. they could have crushed his dreams and robbed us of all his creative ideas. that should be a punishable offense.
Chestnuts roasted by twig @ 05/27/2003 10:27 PM EST
Po, she is definitely a crack baby, but I don't know how to break this to you...well her new boyfriend...has to be Bitner...I mean the guy IS Forrest Gump, if Forrest were trapped in Dante's Inferno...stalked and idolized by X-E and dating your ex, I'm pretty sure Bitner is in the 3rd or 4th ring of Hell.
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/27/2003 10:28 PM EST
Holy shit Poe... Netta really is, well, a fucking net! And if I had to choose any of the others over Photog, it would definately be Brainwave.
Tomorrow I'm going to call some of these Bitners that are listed as living in Chicago. Does anyone know of any other towns I should be looking for in the listings for the Bitners in IL? I'd have to have to call all 100-something of them.
Chestnuts roasted by MG @ 05/27/2003 10:29 PM EST
Hey just read through well, everything and now I'm proud to call myself a Bitnerite, I'm just wondering, how trustworthy is Tim? I mean perhaps I've just become obsessed and I'm imagining Bitner to be some type of god but for all we know Tim doesn't even actually know Nathan Bitner, I mean he only mentioned Gemini as the prostitute but never anything about being "head concept artist" or whatever.
Anyways just adding my 2 cents
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 05/27/2003 10:36 PM EST
Jesus scarf-knitting Christ you may just be right Whitemale! I am proud to announce i've just shot off another email chewing her out for hiding the fact that she's currently banging Bitner.
For whatever reason i went through and counted, and i managed to use both the words "fuck" and "Bitner" over 20 times each in the single email.
I'll keep you all posted if she writes back...
mwa ha ha haaa...
Chestnuts roasted by Po @ 05/27/2003 10:43 PM EST
Whatcha gonna do brutha, when Bitnermania runs wild on you!
Chestnuts roasted by NinJor-X @ 05/27/2003 10:51 PM EST
Tornado, we know how you feel, and we will all in fact be crushed if we are chasing two Nathan Elery Bitners. But ya gotta follow every single link and all of the links linked to it, do the (incredibly tedious) searches in Google, Bungie, Marathon; The key elements and clues in Tim's story check out. Bungie is connected to suicide to Mattel/Photog to Gemini to the U. of Chicago and Chapel Hill to the Army. All the dots are connecting and making sense (as much as anything to do with Bitner could anyway) It's all just too Bitner to be anyone but him.
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/28/2003 12:06 AM EST
I just had an idea, guys and gals. Why don't we involve some of the media? Now, local North Carolina or Chicago area newspapers are probably out of the question, due to some of the more shall we say "offensive" material involved in this sordid affair, but there's always webzines, magazines, etc. What about something like Wizard magazine? Something that has to due with the general topic (super heroes, super zeros, some prostitute that may be named either Gemini or Heather Ramage =), and growing up in the 80's), and would have the resources to due some serious sleuthing? Or put the word out to he-man.org or any web site that you guys read regularly and would be so good as to link to our poor struggle. Someone contact Kevin Smith @ viewaskew.com and tell him we've got the idea for his next movie. Or, if all else fails, we really need to set up a charity to hire a private investigator. I mean, I'm not rich, but damnit, I'll pitch in $50 if it'll help stop the questions running through my head in some other way than a bullet. Anyone have any ideas? Biterites, Assemble!
Chestnuts roasted by Aqua Teen Hunger Force Assemble @ 05/28/2003 12:09 AM EST
Haha, Bitnermania continues. :) Just remember not to torment anyone too personally for Bitner info, we're just here to have fun.
That said, it'll be a sad day when this entry falls into the archives. Photog's reign shouldn't end.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/28/2003 12:12 AM EST
FWIW...
http://www.islandfour.com/
according to the whois it's registered by a Joshua Inglima of NC. Maybe he has some answers?
Chestnuts roasted by frabq @ 05/28/2003 12:44 AM EST
To Brentlok and anyone else with the stomach for it; here's a short compendium of email addresses (by no means conclusive; Bitner had more addresses in his time than can be counted)
NathanBitner@email.msn.com (claimed in 2000to be the most reliable for him)
Island_Four@yahoo.com (defunct I think
nebitner@email.unc.edu
nbitner@nc.rr.com (also claimed to be a good one then)
bitn@midway.uchicago.edu (1997; I believe this is the last pre-Bungie Bitner address)
nathan@bungie.org (as linked to by he-man.org, in 99; highly doubtful you'll hear from him out of it)
I remember a Raleigh, NC snail mail address in the Nov.Dec. 2000 marathon.bungie.org/story archive for an apartment; Tim, is this the apt. where you went to meet Bitner the first time?
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/28/2003 12:54 AM EST
I'd be willing to bet in this, age of the internet, most PIs don't do much more than what's already been done here. I mean, short of going out and physically stalking someone, the internet is the best tool a bunch of curious 1980s toy enthusiats curious about a contest winner could have.
Chestnuts roasted by ChaosMonkey @ 05/28/2003 01:07 AM EST
Wow, that post was mangled. I swear I can construct sentences better than that. I'm just hard at work on my Photog Art Contest Entry and talking with my girl about time travel, and it's all kind of distracting. Please forgive my shoddy sentenceship.
Chestnuts roasted by ChaosMonkey @ 05/28/2003 01:28 AM EST
#1 site on Google for Nathan Bitner searches...Congrats. Though not suprised at all!
Chestnuts roasted by Liquidduck @ 05/28/2003 01:30 AM EST
Considering my former life as an aspireing journalist, I took a few classes on investigating. However, if I wanted to do that type of thing I still would be in journalism. I'll see if I can find a book that listed investigation sources, some of them are even on the internet.
One thing though, if we finally make contact with the infamous Mr. Bitner and he does not want to talk to us then that's basicly all she wrote. If we keep on him he could have grounds for a harassemnt lawsuit. Don't mean to be a killjoy, but it's an important point to consider.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/28/2003 01:57 AM EST
Needless to say if we ever do get to contact him, I seriously hope for a "Colonel-Kurtz-crossed-with-Buddha" style enlightenment.
Chestnuts roasted by Spatch @ 05/28/2003 02:08 AM EST
I'm a big He-Man fan and have known about Fearless Photog for a long time but I had no idea that Bitner's life has been so fascinating. From what I've read here, I have no doubt that the creator of Photog is Nathan Bitner, ex-Bungie employee.
If all this is true, especially Wilk's long article about the demise of Island Four, this is all very fascinating.
I hope we get Bitner in here in person soon.
Chestnuts roasted by RedBaron @ 05/28/2003 02:28 AM EST
Bitner button ppllleeeaassseee
Chestnuts roasted by mindsuckr @ 05/28/2003 02:35 AM EST
Wow. A Save Photog website....that is so fucking cool.
I'm proud to be part of this, and I'm proud to be an american.
Where at least I know I'm free.
To stalk Bitner.
Oh, and I think I said it earlier, but someone brought it up, and yes, I'm sending the petition to Mattel at the end of June. You guys are fucking great.
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/28/2003 02:37 AM EST
I've been following this for the past couple of days...fun stuff....but it just occured to me....what if Bitner's already here posting incognito and what not?
That would be just so...Bitner...ya know?
Chestnuts roasted by $pazzy_D @ 05/28/2003 03:16 AM EST
Here is a more recent custom Photog:
http://www.x-entertainment.com/updates/
Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 05/28/2003 03:37 AM EST
Sorry wrong url:
http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/showthread.php?s=e521e97013de4a840963fdfd3c3d13b6&threadid=51776
Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 05/28/2003 03:38 AM EST
I am in the process of emailing all those email addresses given to me. I will post any replies i get ehre and i will tell the people to post on this site With any info they have of him.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 05/28/2003 05:27 AM EST
I have emailed all of those people now, With any luck i will hear from them soon.
At least we know it is definately the same guy who was working at bungie and that pretty much tells us the suicide post and the chicago uni. and the army and everything is correct. Now to fill in the gaps.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 05/28/2003 05:40 AM EST
Man, you gotta look at this ape-confounded thing every 2 hours or you totally get lost!
Hey, another blog took up on us!
strangeinterlude.blogspot.com/
P.S. My searches suck, but a dif Nathan Bitner won a whole freakin $90 for coming in 2nd and 16th in 2 Texas Golf tourneys... Even the Bitner name lives irony... that is sooo... NO DON'T SAY IT!!!.... Nathan. Huh?
Chestnuts roasted by Prezkot @ 05/28/2003 05:43 AM EST
Okay enough is enough. I know that everyone has a need within to be a part of something bigger, well join the Y or something because this search for Bitner is a waste of your damn time!
Before you flame me.. Example :"You dont understand Bitner FAG!!" listen to this.
I grew up in the 80`s played with He-man watched Transformers and swore that GI Joe was real. I entered into that contest thinking that Lavon `Evil Magma Fiend` was the bomb. Alas my idea and my picture sucked. Bitner`s Photog sucked too, I mean c`mon a monster that takes pictures and drains thier energy, thats so indian superstition. Mattel made the other placing entres` toys right? Why not Bitner`s oh yea because its not `toyetic.` I mean who would play with photog when you got Trapjaw and Evil Lynn?
Who cares if Mattel promised to make the thing, the kid got a free ride all through college. Then what did he do with his money? He blew it on a worthless degree, got hooked up with a job at a award winning multi million dollar software company, quit there, slept with some hoe, put himself in helish amount of debt, then joined the army. WHO CARES!?
Interesting story, but I mean the guy fucked up his life, period. Do your self a favor and just give it up... It`s not as cool and complex and intriguing as you all are making it out to be, and you know this. Maybe after reading these 300+ posts he might actually finish the bottle of Nyquil and up and kill himself.
Bitner might have fucked up, but at least he didn`t do volunter work for the creditor`s agency.
Chestnuts roasted by Lazy Lazer Eye @ 05/28/2003 07:20 AM EST
sob, sob
Chestnuts roasted by dredt @ 05/28/2003 09:14 AM EST
Yes, Ed Franklin, we have made our mark on society in the quest to save Photog and bring to light the tale of his puppetmaster Nathan. It's a cute website isn't it!
As for why we should care at all if Bitner fucked up look at it this way; some guy ran his car off the road and clipped a mailbox--he fucked up, who cares? But it's another thing completely if he drives it off the Grand Canyon, explodes into flames and a brightly colored light show while corkscrewing through the air, then crashes into a convoy of oil tankers below, and witnesses report he'd been smoking 5 pounds of crack out of Bigfoot's skull. You'd wonder how the hell it STARTED, and you'd watch that sucker to the END. We just meant to babble about our own goony figures and maybe say hi to the guy that actually won. We didn't mean for this to happen!
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/28/2003 09:27 AM EST
not nice lazy eye.....it's all in good fun.
Chestnuts roasted by neko @ 05/28/2003 09:49 AM EST
Im glad u guys like the website, i moved it to a new host today, and this weekend i will redesign it so it doesnt look so amatuer, i just wanted to get the site up as fast as possible before this thing dies. i hope it never dies. Photog must live.
http://www.savephotog.tk
Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 05/28/2003 10:25 AM EST
Mr. Eye, if you look up you will see that I have hardly commented on this whole fiasco however, I would be a liar if I said I didn`t come here everyday and check on on the new info. If your time is so damn valuble then why don`t you share with us your bookmarked homepage? Maybe I`ll think what you find interesting is a total waste of time. It`s one thing to state how your feel, but fuckyas if you are gonna tell me or anyone else what is a "good time". I read this stuff to find out about Bitner`s train wreck of a life, screw his action doll..I like M.A.S.K better anyways!!
Matt Tracker till da dayyeee!
p(*.*)q
Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Jibaku @ 05/28/2003 10:46 AM EST
Oh lazy eye, you miss the bigger picture.....we're having a good time! What could have possibly been your motivation to post that message?
Chestnuts roasted by The Nate Meng Show @ 05/28/2003 11:35 AM EST
Tornado: “I'm just wondering, how trustworthy is Tim?”
The last thing I thought I would have to do is prove to you my involvement in this. It would take a truly sick individual to make up such a story. If for even a second you doubt my validity then I would suggest to you that you read more on the halo.bungie.org forums, search the archives for Bitner, Wilk, Island Four. Check out Subnova.com which is run by the man who started islandfour.org (the never fully appreciated fan site of Island Four) I’m not sure if they’re still there, but there was at some time an archive of the old I4.org forum
If you really want to get sick about it, call Bungie Studios and ask to speak to Matt Sorrell, the PR guy for Bungie. He’ll recall the issue I4 had with Bungie over copyrights and other things with Bitner. He may or may not remember me, my dealings with Matt were very limited.
You could call/email Josh/3of9 who currently owns islandfour.com, but my best guess is all that you will receive is an earful of laughter. 3of9 was alienated by the dissolving of i4, and he may have been a bit embarrassed at the time being that he had a fan site up for a company months before the company itself had its crappy ass site up. And since I4 never got anything rolling (other than debt) he may have felt a little betrayed by the so-called promise of Island Four.
I’ll give pretty good odds that the all e-mail address listed here, while at one time valid are no longer going anywhere with the exception of the MSN account which may just be dormant now. Any apartment address in Raleigh would also be old now, as would any in Greensboro if you were to find one.
I know all of you are eager to have word from Bitner on your musings about him and his childhood and adult past, but you have to remember that Bitner joined the Army to run away from his past (don’t read too much into that). I will be surprised if Bitner finds this thread, but I won’t be if he does make a post telling you all just how great his life is now, while subtly mentioning that the shit with I4 was greatly overstated and that I’m bitter about it. Rest assured all of you that I’m not bitter, but rather just a bit surprised that people can find admiration for others in the damnedest of places and dedicated to making the truth come out in any story.
I hope out of my love for mankind that he has used his time in the Army to turn his life around and re-learn what responsibility and trust is.
I hope he will not let illusions of grandeur skew his perception.
I hope he will work hard to build a future and to stay on track.
I hope you will realize that he is not a God, nor even close to one, but closer to a fallen man who used an out to get back on his feet.
Please feel free to continue with your questions, I will do my best to swat down inaccuracies and to answer truthfully any question I can.
Chestnuts roasted by Tim Wilk @ 05/28/2003 11:35 AM EST
I have to admit I haven't been invited to hang w/ any of my friends for the past couple of days because this is blog is all I talk about. Curiosity is killing me as the pervebial cat. It really won't make a difference in the end what happened to Nathan, I really don't expect any comments from him more than "leave me the fuck alone." but my imagination is running away w/ where he might be. btw, something I haven't seen mentioned here, in tim's article, Nathan was recieving disability social security & had a prosthetic. If it's something that happened after birth wouldn't there be hospital records, and possibly newspaper articles?
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/28/2003 11:46 AM EST
"I hope you will realize that he is not a God, nor even close to one, but closer to a fallen man who used an out to get back on his feet"
He's a god among our child-hood fantasies. Winning a MOTU contest. Man, that's divine. But no one cares about a God who wins. Mankind loves a God who falls, miserably, and goes down in flames. That's what we love. That's what we find fascinating.
Chestnuts roasted by RedBaron @ 05/28/2003 11:50 AM EST
Bitner has become a god? Dont think so. Bitner is meerly a pawn in a much bigger game of intrigue and deception. Obviously this ruse has worked for the puppet masters at Mattel. Bitners importance in this must not be understated nor exagerated. Control of children and the subsequent control of adults through the propagation of plastic figures and myths surrounding them is the goal. This aspect of the Bitner saga can not be ignored. It is highly likely that Bitner cannot answer us because he is no longer Bitner. He was a probable Monarch mind control subject and has no memory of the events that lead to the matter before us now. The truth may come out, but it will not be from Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by troubalert @ 05/28/2003 12:15 PM EST
He didn't have anything prosthetic, where did you pick that up from?
Chestnuts roasted by Tim Wilk @ 05/28/2003 12:16 PM EST
First of all, when I saw the post doubting Tim's honesty I thought it was kinda sad and nitpicky, though technicaly it's totaly ligit to ask someone to back up their claims (though how this thing can be totally backed up is beyond me). Don't get too bent out of shape Tim, I don't think most of us took that too serously.
Now, Mr. Lazy Lazer Eye, if you don't like this thing then don't come here, it's as simple as that. It's pretty pathetic to go though this big long thing, even if it's only to skip through it, when you think it's a waist of time. I was bitter about not having my entry chosen too, but I actually felt better about it when I found out what happen with the contest here. Not to mention I felt better when I found out that other people had their character concepts stolen (and none of the entries were actualy made, just remade as somthing else with no credit given to their creators). In short, if you don't like this post it's YOUR PROBLEM and a pathetic waist of your time to come here.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/28/2003 12:31 PM EST
3 cheers for Rouge!
Hoorah! Hoorah! Hoorah!
Chestnuts roasted by troubalert @ 05/28/2003 12:33 PM EST
Quote: He didn't have anything prosthetic, where did you pick that up from?
-Tim Wilk
Dang, now I'm dissapointed. Even if it was only for a second, I was excited to find a new wrinkle in this conumdrum wraped up in conumdrums
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/28/2003 12:41 PM EST
/breaks out the popcorn
Chestnuts roasted by gfvopd @ 05/28/2003 12:42 PM EST
Actually, screw this, wasting my life, jerks.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/28/2003 12:44 PM EST
I just heard of this saga today! i was skipping first period class with my 3 friends- Tornado-ninjor_x and they filled me in on the whole Bitner story! to me i'm not a big comic fan and when ninjor_x started going into graet detail about it i was frankly thinkin...wth! but as the story progressed i'm finding this more interesting! like i think it's really krazee how this guy like won a contest and won! then all the things taht were promised to him were taken away! now he's lead this krazee life taht we only know nit bit's about and just finding out more! very intriging i must say at the least. GEMINI FOREVA! hahah!!
renegade
Chestnuts roasted by renegade @ 05/28/2003 12:45 PM EST
Oh, thanx for the props Troubalert
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/28/2003 12:47 PM EST
I love renegades jive talk. Even though I have no idea what he said.
Chestnuts roasted by NinJor-X @ 05/28/2003 12:50 PM EST
Actually, screw this, wasting my life, jerks
Not me, notice no underline under the name signifying a link to a web site that dosen't work (now if only someone would get off their lazy ass and give the new web master the copy of our website so we could start getting our club acessable again!!!)
BTW, if that was you Lazy Laser Eye, pretty weak.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/28/2003 12:54 PM EST
Before I forget again, how was doing volunter work for the credit agency, was it to or not to your liking Lazy Laser Eye?
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/28/2003 01:00 PM EST
all for u Rogue-13, that lazy laser eye is so friggin bitter!!
renegade
Chestnuts roasted by renegade @ 05/28/2003 01:11 PM EST
Am starting to lose hope here, its like a kidnapping,,,if you don't find them after 24 hours the chances get slimmmer and slimmer...hopefully he'll show, but I don't know...I'm losing faith!
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/28/2003 01:17 PM EST
I actually e-mailed him a few years ago from the link on He-man.org, although I remember it being a .edu address, and not bungie, but they might have updated the address after I used it.
It was said that Mattel gave Nathan a picture of a prototype Photog they were working on, but it was painted pink and green. Most mold tests of action figures use whatever plastic is avaialable, and the colors on the prototypes are usually way off, so I think it more likely that they were testing the mold with pink and green plastic.
I asked Nathan if he still had the picture. He said he had just moved, and would have to dig it out. He said he would write me back once he had time to settle in and find it. I never heard from him again.
I would post the e-mail, but friggin' Hotmail deleted my account of like 5 years because I didn't log in for a month.
Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Omega @ 05/28/2003 01:23 PM EST
I'm pulling up the text as I type, and will not re-censor this after I type it, so if I'm wrong, I'll just be a little bitner. When Bitner lived in the same duplex I (think I) rememeber in order to pay the bills he had social security...verifying now..."So Bitner was back on his ass again, jobless and depressed, but living with power and gas, as his disability payments were providing some income." ok, well he was some kind of disabled, though the prosthetic was just something I read into the story....or was it MATTEL!
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/28/2003 01:28 PM EST
I think Lazy Lazer Eye is Bitner trying to get us to stop our search...
Also, I never made the connection before, but a few weeks ago I heard about some tank crew in Iraq that had mounted some kind of animal skull to the front of their tank and named the vehicle Skeletor. Could Bitner be involved? Probably not, but it's still amusing.
Chestnuts roasted by MG @ 05/28/2003 01:35 PM EST
hello
test test
Chestnuts roasted by extraordinarymagnitude @ 05/28/2003 01:45 PM EST
cool, working again.
Ahem
My internet connection goes down for a couple of days and I have over 100 new posts to read. I love this page and I am holding out hope for the bitner button i asked for. I have a small theory I humbly submit. Po had stated there was a Rachel Bitner. I'm thinking that during Nathan's underground period (97-99) he became a transvestite to "find himself" and started calling himself Rachel. Far-fetched? Sure. But it does fit with the Bitner Mythos.
Chestnuts roasted by extraordinarymagnitude @ 05/28/2003 01:51 PM EST
Wasn't Bitner arrested for a DUI in Chapel HiLL? That means there would be an arrest record and a mug shot right? A la The Smoking Gun? I mean they've got pics from like 30 years ago... Anyway, just a thought...
*Cough*
http://www.123nc.com/
Hmmmmmm.... I must be getting a cold... : )
Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/28/2003 02:11 PM EST
NinJor-X:
That may have been the funniest thing I have EVAR read.
Ain't no good being a jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving.
Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Goots @ 05/28/2003 02:31 PM EST
My first thought, upon reading Lazer Lazy Eye's profound downer of a post was, "Oh crap, what if this is is Bitner?"
And what if it is? What if we found our hero, or he found us, only to say, "Find yourself a new hero, kid," or something else suitably melodramatic.
Nathan Bitner, if you see this: You rock.
Chestnuts roasted by Varius @ 05/28/2003 02:51 PM EST
Oh my god... we're losing steam! This whole Bitner fiasco will soon die! Nooooooooooooooooo! Matt wants to kill the run-away behemoth known as Bitner, so that he can have full attention again! Matt, why?!?!?!?
Unless we get a serious smoking gun, we are losing this topic. All the posts the last day has been hearsay... We need evidence people! Otherwise, Bitner's just as good as Robert Blake or Scott Peterson...
What... What if he died? Died in war? That would be sooooo sad. That would be... so Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by Prezkot @ 05/28/2003 03:13 PM EST
Keep the faith. Our dedication will be rewarded. This series of posts is without a doubt THE most comprehensive and detailed account of The Life & Times of Nathan Bitner ever assembled anywhere. As long as this blog lives, there is yet hope.
Chestnuts roasted by Chaos Mage @ 05/28/2003 03:34 PM EST
"I hope you will realize that he is not a God, nor even close to one, but closer to a fallen man who used an out to get back on his feet"
The funniest thing ever. I love that quote. I wanna put it an book of awesome quotes.
Chestnuts roasted by That Coffee Shop Guy @ 05/28/2003 03:40 PM EST
Whew! Just finished reading the whole Bitner saga. Keep up the good work. This can't die yet. The petition is up to 186 signatures.
Bitner where are you?!
Also, we've made X-entertainment the number one site if you search for Nathan Bitner on Yahoo and Google. Apparently he drinks giant ape juice.
Chestnuts roasted by mutton72 @ 05/28/2003 03:47 PM EST
*ahem* Addressed to the darkest, dankest little corner of the room:
First and foremost, (and I dunno how you found your way here with your lazy eye pointing all over the place), check the archives. You are not going to find a single "flaming" or anybody calling anyone else a fag. You got the wrong saloon, sailor. Secondly, anyone who says they don't want to get flamed, then follows up with an incendiary comment, was not being truthful in their first statement.
If you actually read the content of the 379 posts above this, you will see a nation divided. Half are praising the wonder that is Bitner, others ponder the train-wreck that is his supposed life. Others straddle the fence. Nobody called him God, although I do remember a "King Bitner".
I don't think any of us in here need you to do us "a favor" by telling us we're wasting our time. We are enjoying the thrill of the hunt, the eventual outcome is not important. Personally, I wouldn't mind if we never found the guy. Preserve the mythos, as it were. Besides, this isn't just about Bitner, it's about every contest that you entered as a kid that someone else won.
I think you're just jealous that your entry was not chosen, and you wish that somewhere there were dozens of people who care enough about you and your creation to put this much effort into discussing it. And it makes you bitter to the core.
And as for the rest of the class:
This is a labour of love. Let's not let a few bad attitudes or dead end leads corrupt our purpose or enjoyment. Let the searching and hypothesizing continue!
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/28/2003 03:51 PM EST
If only there was a way to check the Disney Hotel registry from '86. I'd ask, but he went to the one in California, and I'm in Florida...perhaps it would give us the clue we all need?
Chestnuts roasted by Saithe Verity @ 05/28/2003 04:20 PM EST
Bitner's disability wasn't physical, well if you don't count his complete lack of physical strength. If I recall, Gemini could have done more push ups than the boy. However I would imagine that the Army has cured him of that (drop and give me 500).
Because of HIPPA I won't go into his exact ailment, but rest assured it wasn't because he lost his leg anywhere.
Chestnuts roasted by Tim Wilk @ 05/28/2003 04:35 PM EST
After almost 400 posts, it seems people have started second guessing this entire endeavor.
Ahem.
Here are my personal views on this SEVEN day old post:
There are many of us that are amazed that Photog was never created. I feel that way, and I'm pretty sure that was the gist of Matt's original post. The feeling "Mattel are a bunch of pricks for not making this figure! If *I* had won, I'd be pissed!" seemed fairly evident.
It just so happened that along the way of finding Bitner, we found an extremely interesting story. Now, you may claim that you don't think it's interesting, but come the fuck on. Hookers, eviciton, failed dreams, bankruptcy, and suicide? If that isn't interesting, then I don't know what is.
So, the attitude of the blog changed. Within hours we were able to find more and more clues as to what this man did, and didn't do, but that's not the best part.
The best part is that it has been an ongoing story, one created by us. Even if some of the leads have been dead ends, one of them involved an amateur wrestler. Fucking awesome.
Now we sit on our hands waiting for Bitner to post, or at least someone else that knows Bitner. Tim posting, Brainwave posting, El Silverado posting, all fucking great. But we are just waiting now.
So, what I'm trying to do is just concentrate on saving Photog, because that's all I can try to do now. Get some signatures on the petition, send it to Mattel and send it to Bitner (Katie may have his actual address, thx Katie :).
So that's it. That's how I feel. Bitner isn't a god, but jesus is his story wonderful.
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 05/28/2003 04:44 PM EST
amen, ed.
Chestnuts roasted by neko @ 05/28/2003 04:53 PM EST
With regards to Tim Wilk: I didn't mean that in any way to offend your integrity however considering you're basically the best lead we have on the man himself I think it's right for me to question your honesty, for all we know you might actually have bitter feelings, or everything could be true, or even for all we know there are things that you might've censored some information in kindness, as to not completely embarass him, like perhaps Bitner having a brief stint of homosexuality, so try not be so defensive all it really does is make you seem more questionable
Squee4242:"Nobody called him God, although I do remember a "King Bitner"."
-There were a few Jesus refrences (all for just reasons)
With regards to renegade: um dude maybe you should like type things better
With regards to NinJor-X: yeah dude we all like the jive talk
With regards to Lazy Lazer Eye: you read all the posts and you think its a stupid idea, and we're the ones wasting our time? I hope you don't read this or else you will be even more pathetic than you already are, I just had to post this should you decide to show you ugly eye again
~The Tornado V1~
WWNBD
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 05/28/2003 05:16 PM EST
After this group is done looking for Bitner, I was wondering if you could help me look for one of my heads. The one with the green eyes and the unibrow. Last time I saw it, it was hanging out under the couch with a Monopoly hotel and an old Cheeto. Any help would be appreciated.
Chestnuts roasted by Modulok @ 05/28/2003 05:19 PM EST
Its time to be honest. I feel a connection to Bitner. I cant remember what I was doing with myself 7 days ago. He is invading my thoughts. I try to come up with different ways to try to contact him, to figure out more of his interesting and twisted life.
Then, there is Photog.....
How did he think of him? Did he actually think of him or was he put up to being a "winner"? Did he like photography as a child? Maybe as a secret obsession, did he photograph Gemini?
Did he like to dress as Photog when he was by himself, all alone with the just the candle light flickering against him. Barry Manilow playing in the background as he moves slowly about his room, swaying.....gently swaying to the rhythm......
Oh Bitner.....
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/28/2003 05:40 PM EST
You leave the thing alone for a few days and then BOOM! Nearly 400 comments.... I'm glad we got some conformation on some details and I too have signed the petition, getting as many of my friends to do so. If this thread gets lost in the annals of archives, visit my blog and grab the addy from there.
http://randomlunacy.blogspot.com/
Should be under today's entry 5/28/03
Wow. Never thought the whole Bitner/Photog thing would generate such heat. Lazy Eye sounds like someone who'd shoot up a DMV cuz they made him wait in line. Chill out dude, take some deep breaths and a Valium. I personally think that Photog looks goofy but it doesn't make me NOT want the fig; it have a passion for odd stuff and I think everyone will agree that they'd want one too.
But a good point, Rouge-13, we shouldn't be too persitent....I don't want this guy chewing us out lazyeye style. Bitner-san, if you're out there, give us a holler, kudasai? We'd love to know if you're okay.
Chestnuts roasted by Dio Maxwelle @ 05/28/2003 05:48 PM EST
Tessie, ewwww....
I would like to personally commend every single person who has posted in this monster, every one-timer and every multi-poster. Also to everyone who's just peeked to see what all the fuss is about and either moved on or kept reading. Because until Lazy Lazer Eye no one had flamed anyone else or said anything particularly nasty; sure there are differences of opinion as to whether all this is necessary or not, but everyone's been relatively adult about all this and been fighting clean. That's fairly phenomenal in itself.
Lazer Eye (and anyone else about to get ugly), if you'd posted after 50 or 100 we might've actually taken your advice, but after 300 your common sense should've kicked in and realized YOU were wasting YOUR time. Why not change your handle-name and try posting again? We're having fun; you like to have fun too, don't you? Otherwise, please go and find another cat-tail to alight upon, as this part of the swamp has thus far been mosquito-free.
p.s. did you actually see Bitner at the Y, Lazer?
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/28/2003 06:28 PM EST
this is great! i hope this NEVER ENDS!
Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 05/28/2003 06:39 PM EST
Wow look at this Crazy Story I Love it. C'mon people this is awesome!!!
Few things to say
1)Even though i really don't care about Nathan Bitner or think about him every 24 seconds I do love how this story has gone its like an E True Hollywood Story it starts innocent and good at first an 11 yr wins a contest that would be every kids dream then Mattel dosen't do the toy. And your left thinking What happened? Why didn't they make it? I wonder where Nathan is now? Then some dirt is unearthed and it starts to leed down a seedy path of darkness, lies, manipulation and one man's destruction and then his escape. Next come the people to shed light on it Tim, Wrestler Dude and one of the Runner Ups. This is pretty exciting out of all the internet chats i've been on not only is this the funnest, amazing, memorable and imaginative thing i have ever seen. Ever if Nathan is found or even if he never stepos forward i don't think anyone will ever forget this. I know I certaintly won't. But i have to think if Nathan does come spills his gets gives us his Book of Answers , spills it all will it lose its gripof power because once we finally solved it it will be done, over kaputt and like every time E TrueHollywood comes to end you will leave go back to what you were doing before and think about something else.
2) To all the people who didn't believe Tim, I at first doubted it myself. But i have to realize not only was Tim telling the truth he is also a genuine and good natured human being who time and time again helped Nathan get back and try again. Even now after it has happened Tim still would like to hear from him and has said it is all water around the bridge. Tim you a great person not only for helping Nathan but also comming and answering our questions. I sometimes wish everyone had a friend like Tim Wilks so when their life was going down the sink of a Beacon Grease Factory they could help the person stay away or help them from the suicidal road or path of destruction and help make their life go full circle again.
Chestnuts roasted by Toilet Duck Fan @ 05/28/2003 06:39 PM EST
Toilet Duck Fan: I'm not sure if you meant me when you were talking about Tim but I didn't actually say I don't believe or don't respect Tim so don't think that I was just taking something into consideration.
Something I had missed earlier today, Tim says that Bitner's disability wasn't physical, which of course adds a whole new aspect, I mean we know Nathan has mental problems but having suicidal tendencies isn't grounds for disability claims so here we have a guy that helped develop Halo, graduated College, and won an art contest, with a mental disability. Granted he did screw up badly after that but still thats pretty good.
WWNBD
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 05/28/2003 07:10 PM EST
Well, with all due respect, he never said it was mental either. Which leaves it very open for interpretation...i.e. faking disability? Although, you're probably right, wasn't there some mention earlier of time in a mental hospital?
Chestnuts roasted by The Nate Meng Show @ 05/28/2003 07:14 PM EST
Well, I was already to give up hope but now I am refreshed and reenergized and now I can give proper credit to the first person to make the call for a bitner button, if whales get one...well, come on now....all this has to do is make it to one respected journalistic enterprise, does anyone know someone at Readers Digest or failing that...um, Hustler?
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/28/2003 07:16 PM EST
Yeah he was in the mental hospital but that was for saying he wished to commit suicide to a state appointed psychiatrist
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 05/28/2003 07:16 PM EST
if this was made into a movie or book would Bitner be payed royalties? Maybe then he can get Photog made
Chestnuts roasted by spiffymckracken @ 05/28/2003 07:24 PM EST
Hey Tim is Gemini cute? Cuz right now, I'm imagining her looking like Evil Lyn. Could you descibe her for me? It's for my Photog art contest picture. Thanks
Chestnuts roasted by random loser @ 05/28/2003 07:37 PM EST
The important thing to consider is that I am post number 400!
Off to study.
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/28/2003 07:38 PM EST
A close relative has Tourette's Syndrome, which qualifies her for disability. I think that we're looking at something similar to that, like severe manic depressive or bipolar tendencies.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/28/2003 08:05 PM EST
Would bipolar tendencies be enough to get disability payments? And if he had tourette's (sorry if this offends anyone) then that would be awesome.
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 05/28/2003 08:11 PM EST
Bitner still eludes us. If it were not for the insatiable seduction of a mystery what would we have done with ourselves these last few days. I feel this urge to meet you all like some kind of VFW reunion, though I know this is ludicrous. What would we really do if we found Bitner? The allure would be gone. What would we ask him? I dont have any real questions. The search is what we are after. The hunt is what we crave. If Bitner comes out of the underground(Which I dont believe he will be allowed with all the mind control and stuff) what then? No more chase, no more intrigue, no more fun. Lets hope Bitner remains an enigma and forever unattianable.
Chestnuts roasted by troubalert @ 05/28/2003 08:19 PM EST
maybe Bitner was on disability because Photog took a picture of him and drained his powers
Chestnuts roasted by random loser @ 05/28/2003 08:22 PM EST
I think what LLE missed is the humour. I also wonder what motivated him to read back in Matt's blog far enough to a)find this thread and b)motivate him to comment.
A Halo fan fearing the smearing of his obsession? Halo is a form of Evercrack, so I'm told..
Secondly, has anyone checked with the Army? I mean, sent an email asking for contact info? It seems to me that sites like Classmates.com have army sections as well...if we know what school Bitner attended and what branch of the Army he's in, thatmaybe a useful avenue to pursue.
As for the Bitnermania, it merely proves to me asIhad always suspected that people who love X-E are the greatest people on earth. Matt's the god, not Bitner. Bitner is the Barney Fife of X-E.
Chestnuts roasted by mojocat @ 05/28/2003 08:30 PM EST
Me? Lacking conviction? I more convicted than ever to show you the dangers of being consumed by this!
See by posting my own entry into MOTU`s contest I was trying to let know I was okay, a good guy. Well I am a good guy, just I feel that this is a waste of time and damaging to Bitner. Don`t let it inhale you! The madness!
The Eye is not bitter about losing the contest. I was disapointed when I was in Elementry school, as everyone who lost was.
You know Bitner is going to read this, and when this becomes a internet phenomena and everyone is talking about it, and it makes it way onto TV. Bitner will be the most infamous man in debt in the nation. But hey, as long as his story gets told right?
Think about what you all are doing, is it helping or hurting him?
Chestnuts roasted by Lazy Lazer Eye @ 05/28/2003 09:29 PM EST
Wow. I forget what even made me check the blog on X-E, having never done so before, but that was one cool ride. Well done, folks! I particularly like the masked wrestler red herring. Usually Blogs are strings of gibberish and whining (to wit: Wilwheaton.net), but this one has evolved into its very own epic saga.
Well done!
As for tracking down Private First-Class Bitner, that may not be too easy; I doubt the army's super keen on letting just anybody know who's stationed where. Unless you know his unit, there's probably no convenient means of getting a letter to him. Where'd the people with army contacts go? Could you search for which unit he's assigned to?
Chestnuts roasted by Biflspud @ 05/28/2003 09:32 PM EST
Just sent in my entries for the Photog contest :-D and I'm spreading the word of Bitner
Chestnuts roasted by spiffymckracken @ 05/28/2003 09:38 PM EST
Quote by: Random Loser:
maybe Bitner was on disability because Photog took a picture of him and drained his powers
---------
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAA! NICE!
Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 05/28/2003 09:43 PM EST
This is my tribute to Nathan Bitner (set to the tune of what What would Brian Boitano Do? from the south park movie soundtrack)
What would Nathan Bitner do if he was here right now
He'd make a plan and he'd follow through, that's what Nathan Bitner'd do
When Nathan Bitner was in the olympics, skatin' for the gold
He did two sowchows and a triple lutz while wearing a blindfold
When Nathan Bitner was in the alps, fighting grizzly bears
He used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair
So what would Nathan Bitner do if were here today
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two, that's what Nathan Bitner'd do
I want this mysterie out of me,
It has stunted my scoiality.
And I just want Lazy Lazer Eye to stop fighting everyone.
For Fearless Photog I'll be an activist too,
'cause that's what Nathan Bitner'd do.
So what would Nathan Bitner do?
He'd call all the kids on the net, and tell them to unite for truth,
that's what Nathan Bitner'd do.
When Nathan Bitner traveled through time to the year 3010
He fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again
And when Nathan Bitner built the pyramids, he beat up Kubla Kahn
'Cause Nathan Bitner doesn't take shit from anybody
So let's get all the net together,
and unite to stop Mattel.
And we'll save Fearless Photog too,
'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do
Chestnuts roasted by NinJor-X @ 05/28/2003 09:50 PM EST
I meant Nathan Bitner at the end... I swear.
Chestnuts roasted by NinJor-X @ 05/28/2003 09:53 PM EST
Will Bitner be helped or hurt by our search? Well, that depends on how fast he can get his Paypal account set up after this story breaks. Sure, he's not a cute blonde girl in debt, but he is on his way to becoming a legend, so that's something.
Oh, and Tessie: I just read your recent post, with all its mystery and Bitner-love. Forgive me for being so forward, but... will you be my Gemini?
Chestnuts roasted by Varius @ 05/28/2003 09:56 PM EST
Ninjor-X:
Nathan, no! Those chicken wings are really spicy!
Chestnuts roasted by Varius @ 05/28/2003 09:59 PM EST
"Will You be my Gemini?" I'm using that on my next date; that's a classic line.
Robin to my batman;
Kato to my Green Hornet;
Jelly to my Roll;
Gemini to my Bitner;
I for one will contact my Army of One Brother (who is a Health Care Specialist in Korea; as or suspected friend is); I think he may have a few hints, at least.
Chestnuts roasted by Forever Ape @ 05/28/2003 10:00 PM EST
Yeah I was just talking to Ninjor-X about his song and I wrote my own verse (to replace the skating in the Olympics one), somehow I don't see Bitner as the figure skating type:
When Nathan Bitner was in the contest, drawin' for his toy,
He got thirty thousand call-in votes, thats while he was just a boy
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 05/28/2003 10:02 PM EST
Has anyone pondered the thought that maybe fearless photog only won the damn thing because it was actually drawn pretty good. C'mon...draining powers through the wonder of photography? What a shit idea!!!
Actually, thats pretty cruel, he was only eleven. No, wait, its a shit idea even for an eleven year old. Sorry Bitner.
After looking at the picture again, its suspiciously good for an eleven year old....hmmm...maybe we should add possible 'contest cheating' to his repretoire. I mean, this guy has obviously a shady past so why not think that he paid some art college student to draw photog for him. "Hey, I'll give you a hundred bucks to draw a guy with a camera for a head....and a shield". So maybe, the shadyness all started at this point. Maybe Mattel found out that he got some guy to draw the picture for him and refused to produce the figure.
Or maybe Mattel thought it was just a shit idea for an action figure and it would never sell...what a mystery!!
Chestnuts roasted by Nialler @ 05/28/2003 10:09 PM EST
To Tim Wilk: HIPAA only applies to health and medical providers (I work for a pharmacy, and I've been neck deep in HIPAA regulations for months now). I perfectly understand if you'd rather not divulge info about Bitner's disability, though. The fact that he was in a mental hospital should be clue enough for us.
I've come to realize a profound Truth in all this...in the end, the reality of who Bitner is doesn't matter. By Tim's accounts, he was a pretty screwed up guy, and hell, we all probably know people who made stupid decisions and f'ed their lives up, so that's not that interesting.
The really interesting thing about Bitner is the Archetypal Myth that he represents...golden boy who finds glory early on (and no action figure aside, a $100,000 scholarship is pretty sweet in any circumstance), but through personal shortcomings fell from grace and went into personal exile. I mean damn, the guy's like a tragic Greek hero...only with more videogames and platonic hooker relationships.
Personally, I don't think it ultimately matters if Bitner shows up or not. His Legacy will endure forever. Or at least until Matt is forced to get a real job or something.
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 05/28/2003 10:18 PM EST
Mojo... There are two Nathan Bitners listed on Classmates, one in PA and another in TX. I'll leave it to the more erudite Bitner scholars among us to speculate if it could be HIM. LoL.
Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/28/2003 10:18 PM EST
Now i understand many of you were here from the beginning. You have digested this site in small doses. Me? I just spent the last three hours glued to this funny TV with words on it reading every damn link, every damn post, every damn name with a line under it. Its amazing that anyone's life could be so filled with addiction and be so addictive at the same time. i don't even know what to say. My brain has become gruel-like from this Photog Onslaught.
Also, I googled my name and found out that I stole a car and killed some girls in a massive accident a few years ago a few years ago. The major difference between hime and me? I am a short white dude. he is a seven and a half foot black dude.
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 05/28/2003 10:20 PM EST
A google search on my name brings up a somewhat famous individual; but the fact that all of Bitners occurance all converge into one story proves the validity of Tim's story and our deductions....
Chestnuts roasted by Forever Ape @ 05/28/2003 10:23 PM EST
My friends, I think we've come to that moment in our search. We've become sort of a family, haven't we? A weird, seriously fucking obsessive family, but a family nonetheless. And in the spirit of closeness and goodwill Bitner has created for us, I wanted to share with you...my Bitner Haiku.
Paid hooker, no sex
Screwed out of Fearless Photog
That is so Bitner
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 05/28/2003 10:29 PM EST
Brilliant, Jeremy.
A fine piece of work.
You honor Bitner's mem'ry,
and this Blog also.
Chestnuts roasted by Forever Ape @ 05/28/2003 10:42 PM EST
since i have a first name for a last name a google search brings up some boy band with two members sharing my name, I'm a teen idol :-D
Chestnuts roasted by spiffymckracken @ 05/28/2003 10:49 PM EST
To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln:
Its better to remain unfound, and let them think you an insane whacked out shell of a child prodigy gone seriously to seed than to show up on X-E and remove all doubt.
Oh captain my captain!
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/28/2003 10:53 PM EST
"Dear Scott,
Never email me again."
Hahaha..sweet. If only she'd answered my question about Rachel Bitner being a transvestite hooker named Gemini. I wonder if she even followed the link to this blog.
Chestnuts roasted by Po @ 05/28/2003 10:56 PM EST
I've found myself evangelizing Bitner to everyone lately, and that led me to a problem... what are the characteristics of something that is "Bitner" (as in, "That is so Bitner"). Everyone seems to be using it, but no clear definition has emerged.
Now, not to put a leash on the chaos, but how about this:
"Bitner" - descriptive of failure in the face of impending success.
Chestnuts roasted by Varius @ 05/28/2003 11:15 PM EST
Hah you're quite the ladies' man there, Po. I wish my ex's were so direct.
Varius, man, Krappy Kat and then squee4242 established an official "bitner" definition way up there somewhere in the first hundred posts or so.
Oh lord I really should have left the house today...
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 05/28/2003 11:23 PM EST
Random thoughts:
At Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio there's a roller coaster named the Gemini. Bitner has never ridden the Gemini.
This is actually great publicity for Bungie. I mean, I've been so enthralled by all this the last week that I followed a link to the Bungie site and actually read through all sorts of Marathon info. Ahh, Power Mac memories.
Are we sure Bitner worked on Halo? I mean, the Bungie site only lists him as involved with Minotaur, a level designer for Myth II: Soulblighter, and the author of the Cortana papers. I think he may have left Bungie before Halo work really ramped up.
Ode to Bitner -- sung to Nirvana's "Lake of Fire"
Where do Bitners go when they die?
They don't go to Mattel where the people lie.
Go to Raleigh with their debt and sigh.
Won't see 'em again at Tim Welk's fish fry.
I aksed my girlfriend to be my Gemini today. She slapped me and denied me sex.
I'm working on a "Save Bitner" shirt. I'll send some out to you guys free if I can get them looking nice enough.
"You know, statistics, they show, there are more people in the world today. That's China's fault." -Meatwad
Chestnuts roasted by Kent State Univ. Prostitute For Sale, Cheap! Heather Ramage, high miles, a bit rusty aroud the exhaust, some junk in the trunk, a good fixer-uper. 55 cents o.b.o. @ 05/28/2003 11:44 PM EST
I think I may have stumbled on a great idea, though possibly not feasible. Can anyone get a hand on that software the police use to "age" little kids that have gone missing to see what they may look like today? Maybe there is even like a cheap plug-in version of it for Photoshop. Then we could age Bitner's winning picture and compare it to the photos of him we (may) have currently. Kick me if this is really stretching a bit too far.
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 05/29/2003 12:17 AM EST
And while we are at it we can age Photog, and see what a middle-age He-Man action figure would look like. Maybe put a Pabst in his hand. Give him a gut. He could be wearing an 86 Bears Championship T-shirt stained with the tears of dreams gone astray.
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 05/29/2003 12:20 AM EST
Dude, that would win the Photog art contest for sure!
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 05/29/2003 01:17 AM EST
I don't know about the rest of you, but I've run out of things to put here. perhaps it's better this way, if the whole thing dies, before bitner finds out. Then in a month or two when he does find, and post here, we'll all say "who the hell is nathan bitner?" at least those of us w/ memories like mine. Is this a good time to mention that I can hold 23 marshmello's in my mouth at once? How's that for waste of time lazy eye?
acctually now that I think about it, This is something that will stick w/ me for a long time, as long as I can get someone to say "that's so bitner" too.
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/29/2003 01:37 AM EST
So there I was playing Return to Castle Wolfenstien multiplayer when I notice a teammate is named PHOTOGSURFER. I ask "is that a He-man reference?" no response. I repeat the question, no response. I even say "Bitner? Bitner is that you?" and no response. Hmmmm.
Chestnuts roasted by frabq @ 05/29/2003 01:44 AM EST
To the Heather Ramage Prostitute guy (who the hell is Heather Ramage?!) It was in Dec. 3 of 00 in marathon.bungie.org that Bitner made his Island4 announcement and signed as Former Producer and Creative Developer of Halo.
There is another name which may be yield answers; Randy Cruts, ex-Navy SEAL, author of "Dive into Terror" and "Controlled Insanity" (these are both in stock now at amazon), Island4 co-producer, senior creative director or something, and right hand man to Bitner himself. I couldn't find anything in Google or Yahoo other than the books, but he is registered in the West Florida Literary Federation in Pennsacola. You could email or call them and see if they know how to reach him; www.westfloridaliteraryfed.com or just go to Waldenbooks and look inside the book jackets; I have never seen them and don't know if any info on Randy is there or not, or if the lit. fed. would know.
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/29/2003 01:58 AM EST
hurry
Chestnuts roasted by MORE X-Entertainment (hidden) CLICK HERE @ 05/29/2003 02:16 AM EST
Don't sweat it brandon, no one will fault you if you wanna like, go on that date or just go to bed or whatever There are still many gaps in the case, and there are things that belong in those gaps. Private Nathan may be fighting for Andrea "Nathan Bitner thinks she's a total babe" Corr, but we gotta fight for him!
try 25 or 30; marshmallows are soft, you'll surprise yourself:)
It's so Bitner; God's bodkins, have I started the next "All your base belong to us"?
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/29/2003 02:28 AM EST
SO I have a retail job in the mall and I have been writing Bitner on my hands to see if anyone asks about it. My district manager visited me today and I told him about the whole story. It turns out a friend of his...worked for bungie...on HALO! I am only 3 degrees of separation from Nathan, I feel so special.
Bitner button link!
Chestnuts roasted by mindsuckr @ 05/29/2003 03:17 AM EST
I've already wrote a script and story involving Nathan Bitner, Tim Wilk and the infamous Gemini. It's three parts first the meetings between Tim, Nathan the second part the blow up between them and thirdly where they all are right now. I call it Crystal Dreams & Make Believe Fantasies.
Chestnuts roasted by The Coffee Shop Guy @ 05/29/2003 03:24 AM EST
I said before that if I was Nathan Bitner I wouldn't reply here, basicly out of sheer embarassement. However, a lot of people here support him. Someone here even started a petition on his behalf (an it has 200 sigs last time I checked. A lot of people want to see Photog made. The web master even made a post to tell peple to treat Bitner with respect if he ever does get in contact, a point made by other posters. If there was ever a place where Nathan bitner could feel safe and be welcomed, it would be here.
On a totaly unrelated note,The Incredable Melting Man is on cable right now. This 1978 gem is about a astronaut who gets a space virus and truns into a gelatnus homicadial zombie. If this wasn't made for a XE review I don't know what is (my apologies if you already did it Matt)
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/29/2003 05:15 AM EST
Varius, Since I now have the privileged of being the first woman to have that said to, of course, I would be honered to be your plutonic prostitute! Where's my money bitch!
Krappy Kat, you set us up the bomb!
I suppose I should say something about Bitner also.....
I would wear a save photog/bitner shirt proudly everywhere I go (of course I would wash it first). It would take the place of my free condoms shirt!
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/29/2003 08:33 AM EST
"To the Heather Ramage Prostitute guy (who the hell is Heather Ramage?!)" --- One fallen from grace child of the 80's (or 70's) at a time, Krappy Kat =)
All will be reveiled once Zen is reached.
Chestnuts roasted by It's a crime not to pick up a Master Shake, now in artificial flavor somewhat similar to Strawberry @ 05/29/2003 08:33 AM EST
On a personal note.....
The television show Oobi is the most disturbing shit I have ever seen.
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/29/2003 08:45 AM EST
I still think that it is only a matter of time before Bitner himself posts here. I want to be here for that day.
Chestnuts roasted by Chaos Mage @ 05/29/2003 10:41 AM EST
No one has taken notice to the fact that that El Diablo guy has posted on he-man.org commenting on someone's homemade Photog. Does that seem like a little too much of a coincidence to anyone else?
Chestnuts roasted by Angry Mallard @ 05/29/2003 11:47 AM EST
tess - what's oobi?
Chestnuts roasted by neko @ 05/29/2003 11:47 AM EST
Every morning when i get to work, i spend 30 minutes to and hour catching up on these posts. I really never posted on a blog before this, and i've been reading since the beginning and posting since about 200 or so, so i feel a sort of kinship with all the Bitner folk.....Long live the legend of Bitner! And now, my hiaku....
Bitner and Photog
Seemingly friends forever
Enter Gemini
Chestnuts roasted by The Nate Meng Show @ 05/29/2003 11:59 AM EST
Kickass haiku,
I feel as though I'm not contributing to the cause...if only I had some info to give...
In other news, I'd gladly take a Bitner related Tshirt.
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/29/2003 12:44 PM EST
This is all very Murder She Wrote like. It's great. It be a bad ending if Bitner never showed up...so I'll try not to get too attached to this blog/mystery. Good job to all of you though :)
Chestnuts roasted by Kennef @ 05/29/2003 01:02 PM EST
Angry Mallard: "No one has taken notice to the fact that that El Diablo guy has...Does that seem like a little too much of a coincidence to anyone else?"
No not really, he's probably just as interested in this as some of us are so I'd expect him to do some research.
Oh and I think I'm gonna make a save Photog or save Bitner shirt tonight (I'll just write it with electric tape on a white shirt or something)
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 05/29/2003 01:55 PM EST
I think the only thing that makes el diablo seem like he is nathan bitner is that well someone said it was his name, he lives and wrestles near to where bitner used to live and he has a big he man toy collecion.
From that a lot of people think that he is bitner. But more evidence points to it being the Bitner who worked at bungie.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 05/29/2003 02:05 PM EST
"From that a lot of people think that he is bitner. But more evidence points to it being the Bitner who worked at bungie. "
What?
Chestnuts roasted by Tim Wilk @ 05/29/2003 02:12 PM EST
It was for sure established about 200 posts ago that we know exactly which Bitner is which (El Diablo's real name is not even Nathan Bitner, i believe he put that in a post). And here is a new haiku...
Bitner, yer famous
no masked wrestler, please post
here army of one
Chestnuts roasted by The Nate Meng Show @ 05/29/2003 02:26 PM EST
Neko, Oobi is a kids show about hands with googly eyes.....You wont be able to turn away....God forgive me.
And for you all...my haiku.
Bitner, dear Bitner
Please help us end our searching
Your infamy lives
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/29/2003 03:03 PM EST
wack0 should sell Save Photog t-shirts on his website. We all buy one and all proceeds will go to Bitner. He would have to talk to us if we paid him!
Chestnuts roasted by Randumb Loser @ 05/29/2003 04:14 PM EST
"He would have to talk to us if we paid him!"
You think so?
Chestnuts roasted by Tim Wilk @ 05/29/2003 04:18 PM EST
ooh i got it! on the front of the t-shirt it says "save photog" with the photog art contest winners pic on the front, and on the back it says "so bitner" what do you guys think?
Chestnuts roasted by randumb loser @ 05/29/2003 04:21 PM EST
yea Tim isn't he broke?
Chestnuts roasted by randumb loser @ 05/29/2003 04:24 PM EST
I say, proceeds from shirt sales go to fund a Private Investigator to find him or something
Chestnuts roasted by Forever Ape @ 05/29/2003 04:30 PM EST
Broke is when you don't have any money.
Fucked is when you don't have any money and you owe people lots of it.
Chestnuts roasted by Tim Wilk @ 05/29/2003 04:46 PM EST
Id buy a t-shirt but id probably have to pay $20 for shipping to UK.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 05/29/2003 04:51 PM EST
O Tim that "you think so?" was sarcasm, I get it!
lets all help Bitner out of his debt! How many t-shirts do we need to sell? How bad is Bitner in the hole? Maybe we need a 'Save Photog' telethon?
Chestnuts roasted by Randumb Loser @ 05/29/2003 04:56 PM EST
Just $20 fo shipping to the UK. I would of thought it would be more than that. I don't knoe if that's real expensive in terms of shipping over there, but it sounds like a deal to me.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/29/2003 05:03 PM EST
To raise the money, we should do an online Bitner-thon. We could have celebrities ask for donations. Okay, well we could have Matt reprise his earlier roles like Evil Matt, self endorsing Hulk, maybe even Ultimate Warrior workout Matt.
On another note, if we can't get a Bitner button, then at the very least the icon for the blog section should be Photog.
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 05/29/2003 05:23 PM EST
Hey, guys. Still working on finding and calling Bitner. But, I need your help. Give me all the numbers for Nathan Bitner, and I'll call. I give you all a call to arms. Help me help you. Thanks, I'll check in later.
Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 05/29/2003 05:27 PM EST
My haiku will have to wait a bit. I can't seem to decide if "hookers" is one syllable or two.
Stupid fucking poetry
Chestnuts roasted by Po @ 05/29/2003 05:32 PM EST
It's two.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/29/2003 05:36 PM EST
How about "Ho"
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/29/2003 05:45 PM EST
My Bitner haiku comes from a younger, more serial-killer place. If you look at the picture, i think you'll find it's appropriate.
The contest brought hope-
No longer the forgotten.
Poor red-haired stepchild.
Remember, serial killers a) have abnormal sexual tastes and b) have fucked up childhoods. I wonder if Mr and Mrs Bitner said anything to encourage young Nathan.
"You're worthless and weak, now draw more figures! You're not going to university unless someone esle pays for your worthless ginger hide!"
Chestnuts roasted by mojocat @ 05/29/2003 06:00 PM EST
How about an X-E shirt with various stuff from articles covering the front and on the back say in tiny print: "That is sooo Bitner!", or reverse that with the small print on the front. Either way let Matt get most of the proceeds with a percentage going to the Bitner Fund for Lost Innocence.
Also, I know of the perfect person to document this mystery. His name is Jeff Krulik and he is best known for Heavy Metal Parking Lot.
Watch some videos on his site and see his love for this exact kind of thing.
http://www.planetkrulik.com/index2.htm
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 05/29/2003 06:02 PM EST
My idea...maybe some bitner haiku on the front and the back...of course, "so bitner"
my haiku:
eighty six photog won
two thousand three fearless again
X E shirt I am
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/29/2003 06:49 PM EST
El Diablo was simply roped into this creature and is now as interested as the rest of us(apparently more so Photog than Bitner) I've noticed many of us are similarly choosing one entity and focusing on it; not much mystery in Photog, Nathan Bitner by hook or by crook drew him and Mattel will either make him or ignore the people like they did almost 20 years ago. The petition is a great idea and who knows...Even if Photog is again a no-show, Mattel may at least give us an answer (corporate babble-encoded, no doubt) of some sort about what happened then.
As for Nathan, I say he's public domain, like every Hollywood star with nude photo websites, obsessed fans, and Enquirer scandals. As Tim could probably tell you there were and probably still are groups of people who thought Bitner was the next best thing after the wheel. They have their fan sites, why not ours? This is not about "let's ruin Bitner's life!", this is about "someone should be writing this shit down!" Yes, he fucked up and we all do fuck up occasionally , but Nathan did everything but make a Coca-Cola promo about his colossal screwups (advertising as the producer of Halo, announcing to quit, start a new company and make it's fan site without it actually existing, listing one's hooker as staff, etc., etc.) . At least Charlie Sheen tried to keep his prostitutes a secret!
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/29/2003 06:59 PM EST
i would love to sell some t-shirts on my site, but i think there would be some legal action taken against me. Maybe if we put "save ph0tog" and made him green, that would beat any copyright infringment stuff. hooray for bootleg!
but seriously, if anyone has any ideas for the Save Photog website, please email me at wack0@wack0.com. The site has gotten over 700 hits in 3 days.
Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 05/29/2003 07:01 PM EST
I think I've finally solved the mystery of what happened to Photog after the failure of not being made set in and dictated his every low self-worth impulse. I just submitted a picture of him for the art contest. Hope you like.
Its just sad that the uniform doesn't fit anymore.
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 05/29/2003 07:18 PM EST
Sorry bout that link. It don't work.
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 05/29/2003 07:19 PM EST
Ok, I sent in my "art", it is sooo Bitner, Its great!
Also, I would just like to say that I was speaking about Mr.Bitner and Photog today and this is what was said.....
me "blah blah blah Bitner Photog great Gemini need to find Save Photog"
the other person "I dont know why your are obsessing about a DOLL"
I then said, with shock and disbelief "He is not a doll, he is an ACTION FIGURE!"
We still arent speaking. Should I have been that defensive?
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/29/2003 07:52 PM EST
So I'm working on a mod for Neverwinter Nights and there's a mission where you have to save this kid, typical RPG crap. Maybe I should name the kid Nathan Bitner and you have to save him from the ghost of Photog. I don't know. Running out of steam.
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 05/29/2003 08:00 PM EST
Fearless Photog is to regular action figures as we are to ants. But with a camera for a head.
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 05/29/2003 08:00 PM EST
Just wanted to quote Matt's uber-ironic last two lines in his Fearless Photog column: "That's the story of Photog. I never said it was going to be long."
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 05/29/2003 08:01 PM EST
If I type my name into a search engine, I find nothing. Perhaps because of the specific ethicity of it, or perhaps because I have kept my personal life off the web.
Nathan Bitner obviously was not computer illiterate. He would have been well aware that any information that he made availible online could be seen by other people. It's not like we're going through his mail.
If you are not interested in searching for or discussing Nathan/Photog, than don't participate. But don't make it like we're hurting him. There is little malicious intent here.
Another issue: This is a kid who at 11 was designing action figures, and went on to be involved in the video game industry. Doesn't that sound like the kind of person who may have been looking for fame?
BTW, today was the first time I have every used the phrases "cowboy bebop fan" and "is an idiot" in the same sentence.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/29/2003 08:03 PM EST
http://usmilitary.about.com/library/milinfo/arjobs/bl91w.htm
The above URL is a description of the Medical Health Specialist job in the US Army. For a guy who's had a history of mental problems, he has some pretty serious duties to perform.
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 05/29/2003 08:19 PM EST
Wow, guess he's not that much of a slacker after all...
Just some thoughts I had while eating some ice cream:
If Mattel listens to our demands (that made me sound like a terrorist, hurray) then Nathan Bitner would be thrust (even if only partially) back into the public eye, and that could lead to some good cash. Another thought, why are you trying to call him? isn't he still in Kuwait?
squee4242: "It's not like we're going through his mail" could we go through his mail...?
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 05/29/2003 09:18 PM EST
There are a few important things that I need to say about this crazy freight train before it jumps right off the tracks.
First and foremost, I want to acknowledge Ed Franklin for his commendable and tireless search efforts. Until you found Tim, the search was casual at best. But once the whole sordid story leaked out...whoa.
Secondly, I'm sending big ups to Krappy Kat, Brainwave, El Diablo, Rogue-13, Spatch, Bansheex, Brandon, wack0 and NinJor-X and, of course, Tim. Major shout-outs to everybody else who has contributed as well, even Lazy Eye.
I also want to say that this debacle in no way detracts attention, focus or love away from Matt or other X-E content. I think that it is a testament to Matt's uncanny knack for rooting out the darkest corners of pop-culture. Obviously Matt has incredible instincts for finding things that capture our imaginations, and I consider that an earmark of a great writer.
But what has this mystery done for us as the X-E community, besides given us something to check on when the boss isn't looking? We've had posts from people who say they've never posted in blogs before, but just had to say something about this. We have a whole bunch of fresh blood in the ranks. We've learned a little about privacy, or the lack of it, in the information age. We've learned what happens when there is a point of disagreement, and that we might get mad, but we don't get too mean or too stupid. And we've learned that mystery begets creativity.
If it all ended tomorrow, I wouldn't regret a damn thing. I would be proud to stand here and say I was there, and I was a part of it. For one brief, shining moment, we have all become part of something that's bigger than all of us.
And I wasn't even into He-Man.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/29/2003 09:20 PM EST
WOW! very well said squee.
I remember Matt saying in previous entries that he has become disillusioned with the internet and the way people behave on it. Well guess what Matt, it appears to me that from this thread alone; there is hope.
Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 05/29/2003 09:28 PM EST
Hear Hear I say, as I stand up patrioticly, with a single tear running down my face.
Beautifullly perfect squee.
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/29/2003 09:31 PM EST
Just found this on a Bitner search, thought it was interesting and I wasn't sure if we had that adress or if we were missing any one of those e-mail adresses. I find it interesting how his position at the time he wrote this was "United States Federal Government": (this is only how he signed the letter theres a lot more that can be found at http://marathon.bungie.org/story/newnov-dec00.html )
Nathan E. Bitner
United States Federal Government
Former Producer and Creative Developer of Halo*
*Halo is a trademarked name of Bungie Software and
Microsoft Corporation - but it is mine. =)
I can be reached at the following snailmail address:
Nathan Bitner
4520 Baymar Dr., Apt. 101
Raleigh, NC 27612
or the following email addresses:
NathanBitner@email.msn.com
Island_Four@yahoo.com
nebitner@email.unc.edu
nbitner@rr.com
and one that must remain secret for now. =)
Enjoy
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 05/29/2003 09:33 PM EST
Third Custom Photog:
http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/showthread.php?s=a726a63ae6882e67ebfd32ae2d26ed24&threadid=51991
Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 05/29/2003 09:34 PM EST
Very well said squee (I would've commented earlier but I was on a Bitner search)
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 05/29/2003 09:36 PM EST
just wanting to keep the post rolling some more,will Nathan ever make contact...?
Chestnuts roasted by pogocorpse @ 05/29/2003 09:42 PM EST
Good points all, I'm just wondering...for a nerd, doesn't Bitner ever turn on his computer...isn't this the kind of site he would be visiting constantly, even if he were in Iraq...there has to be a way.
You gotta believe!
Plus you gotta get me one dem tshirts...
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/29/2003 09:50 PM EST
Well said Squee but I think Toilet Duck Fan also summed it up pretty good too in his last post. Look up to see it.
Chestnuts roasted by The Coffee Shop Guy @ 05/29/2003 10:36 PM EST
Here it was a little far up so i'll repost it
"Wow look at this Crazy Story I Love it. C'mon people this is awesome!!!
Few things to say
1)Even though i really don't care about Nathan Bitner or think about him every 24 seconds I do love how this story has gone its like an E True Hollywood Story it starts innocent and good at first an 11 yr wins a contest that would be every kids dream then Mattel dosen't do the toy. And your left thinking What happened? Why didn't they make it? I wonder where Nathan is now? Then some dirt is unearthed and it starts to leed down a seedy path of darkness, lies, manipulation and one man's destruction and then his escape. Next come the people to shed light on it Tim, Wrestler Dude and one of the Runner Ups. This is pretty exciting out of all the internet chats i've been on not only is this the funnest, amazing, memorable and imaginative thing i have ever seen. Even if Nathan is found or even if he never steps forward i don't think anyone will ever forget this. I know I certaintly won't. But i have to think if Nathan does come spills his guts gives us his Book of Answers, spills it all will it lose its grip of power because once we finally solved it it will be done, over, kaputt and like every time E True Hollywood comes to end you will leave go back to what you were doing before and think about something else."
Chestnuts roasted by The Coffee Shop Guy @ 05/29/2003 10:41 PM EST
Since Bitnermania hasn't ended yet, I've extended the blog's active entry dates a little further, for a little more Photog action.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/29/2003 10:56 PM EST
What happened to the address posted by Loneman. Is a coverup to stop us from finding Bitner. If anyone is in Aurora there is a Nathan E Bitner there.
Chestnuts roasted by The Coffee Shop Guy @ 05/29/2003 11:26 PM EST
Matt, the blog extension is MUCH apreciated. But what we really need is a Bitner button. Or at least a reason as to why not...
Chestnuts roasted by NinJor-X @ 05/29/2003 11:33 PM EST
i have been thinking of ways to keep this alive, so i have created a special section on my personal forums dedicated soley to bitner and photog. There we can post links and discuss this until our computers crash. I will add the link to the save photog site now.
http://www.savephotog.tk
Chestnuts roasted by wack0 @ 05/29/2003 11:50 PM EST
People are really cool here, should of figured seeing that I've really enjoyed EX for a couple years now. This whole Blog session has been a relief to me since the message bord for my anime club has been down (as mentioned in former entry) and it's given me an outlet for my net fix. Take that for what youy will (I can provide evidence of haveing a life otherwise). Thanx Matt for extending the blog. BTW my computer is being deiiicult about forwarding down to the next line, thats why this post may look a little funny.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/30/2003 12:00 AM EST
First and foremost (listen to me, I sound like I think I have something important to say! lol) I want to thank Matt from the deepest depth's of my being. I share your disillusionment w/ the internet, but this site, and recently this particular thread has given me something to log on for. I can't imagine the work it has to be to not only remember the things you write about here, but also to research those you don't know about. You really deserve the love of everyone here! If I was female.............
what the hell, give me a call!
Second, there really is no second, but since I had a first, I had to have a second.
Third, now I'm just getting carried away.
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/30/2003 01:12 AM EST
Hey everyone. When Bitner finallt does show up, and the Mystery is solved, and we hop back into the Mystery Machine, why don't we put our collective heads together and find the cure to cancer? I mean, shit, if this much brainpower was capable of determining life's trajectory for an 11 year old contest winner, imagine what we could do for life threatening illness? Hmm? Anyone? Yes?
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 05/30/2003 01:40 AM EST
Feeling so Bitner,
Life's down on my luck,
No money, no job- Fuck!
Back from Iraq, X-E?
Blessed memory!
God bless that Photog!
Gemini, Mattel...
You'll pay for betrayl
Feel Bitner's fury!!!
Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/30/2003 02:17 AM EST
500!!!!!
Sorry I have nothing else to say...
Except WHERE ARE YOU BITNER You magnificent bastard!
Chestnuts roasted by troubalert @ 05/30/2003 02:18 AM EST
I had a thought today. Say Bitner does actually show up, would we believe that it is really him and not some guy pretending to be him? And if it really is him, it seems like Bitner likes to lie a lot. I almost feel as though there will be a big argument among people when/if he finally shows up.
Chestnuts roasted by mindsuckr @ 05/30/2003 02:20 AM EST
Anyone feel like writing to that address. Even if bitner doesnt live there anymore someone may know his new/latest address. Or his address when he isnt in the gulf. (im guessing he is still there now.)
Ive sent emails to all those addresses given, but the fact that i live in the uk means i cant sendc it by snail mail without speding lotsa money.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 05/30/2003 03:35 AM EST
Matt thank you for the Photog extension; If our quest for Photog and Bitner were to suddenly halt, it would suck. And squee, that was beautiful; I think we've all handled every wacky curve and spill with real grace, since day one. And an extra special thanks to Al Gore for inventing the Internet. He must have worked really hard to do this.
Whitemale, I really wouldn't put a bet behind it given all the cameos made thus far, but I got a feeling he isn't on the Net and has no idea. He'd been online since '92 and I can't believe he'd be able to quit cold turkey if he had a choice; after reading his silly Cortana letters, his lame lame poetry, and his general grandiose way of addressing everything, he doesn't seem to be keen on being quiet when he could instead be saying something completely outlandish.
Besides I don't think the Army needs him going Bitner over his new "fan site" with access to grenades and Tesla coils and stuff.
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/30/2003 04:06 AM EST
I AM BITNER. Ok, I am a Bitner. My name is not, however, Nathan Bitner. I am Lance Bitner, and I'm orginally from cadillac, MI. Right now I'm living in arizona. Here is my contribution: there is hope. The only reason I know about this bitnermania is because one of my friends found it and showed me the link. And I read it. All of it. All 500+ posts of it, and I'm glad to say it was an entertaining adventure, and not even a little waste of my time.
The point being if one, random Bitner (that is not the famous/infamous creator of Photog) is shown this collage of events that make up another Bitner's life, then there is a chance the Nathan Bitner will end up here to post (or not to post but to browse) about his life and dealing with the evil, life sucking corperation, Mattel.
Soon, there may be more Bitners here. A whole, grand, majestic army of Bitners will form to throw down the unwanted stigma that this surname is now achieving. Or maybe I'll just keep an eye out to see what's going down, kinda like everyone else on this thread.
I await the presence of the One Bitner, to show us the way, and maybe say a little about living in Iraq or something. Maybe we will learn about the Gemini Secret, or other such plans of Mattel that have been stumbled upon by an unwitting 11 year-old boy.
And if I hear people start saying "That is sooo Bitner" around me...well...I'm not quite sure what I'd do.
I just like to talk to the hookers; they lead such interesting lives...
Chestnuts roasted by lrbitner @ 05/30/2003 04:13 AM EST
My personal opinion is that Bitner is still probably still in the Gulf, which opens the interesting possibility of the following conversation
"MEDIC! I have been hit!"
"Private Nathan Bitner reporting! Dont worry soldier, we will have you patched up soon!".
"Jeez, it hurts, it hurts so bad!"
"Dont worry, at least you werent screwed out of glory at the age of 11, made it big, lost it and got involved in a nightmarish spiral of booze, women and debt"
"Wow, since you put it like that, forget the anasthetic!"
If there was a god, Pvt Bitner would arrive back on US soil to a ticker tape parade. At first he would think that he was being revered as a war hero. When he realises the parade is only for him, and sees random Photog images in the crowd, he is going to think he has just stepped into the twilight zone.
Chestnuts roasted by Spatch @ 05/30/2003 05:47 AM EST
Well, I made my contribution to the photog contest. Has anyone noticed what a piece of shit that 'paint' programme is?
I was embarressed as hell with the outcome but at least I gave it a go and I don't have an artistic bone in my body!!!
C'mon people, have a go at recreating that monstrosity of an action figure.
Chestnuts roasted by Nialler @ 05/30/2003 05:48 AM EST
Welcome Lance! With you, there is hope. It is completely possible for Nathan to stumble upon here too. Also, if I typed in my name and it said that I drank giant ape juice, I would HAVE to click on it. How could you not?? So, could he be your distant cousin or something?
Also, I would not mind writing to his postal address, but I am not articulate with words.....you cant just open a letter and it say are you the photog guy, if so go here. So, if anyone would like to give me something to say, I WILL write it. It would probably be better to get a random letter in the mail from a female anyways. Plus, solving the mystery is worth the 37 cents.
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/30/2003 08:02 AM EST
squee4242, manic depressive and bi-polar are the same illness ;).
I have read so many posts, well over 500 of them, that I can no longer keep the timeline of Bitner quite straight. Was his stint at a mental institution just before joining the army? Was it near the 2 year gap that no one can seem to fill? If so, this is just a thought on those two years:
It's entirely possible that if he was institutionalized for threatening to commit suicide, that he later ended up in a residential program for the metally ill. The average stay is about 2 years. For those who can regain their functioning levels quickly, it can be less. The fact that he was homeless, institutionalized, penniless and on disability, and a substance abuser would certainly make him a great candidate for such a program. Just a thought. Happy Hunting!
Chestnuts roasted by Hurricane41 @ 05/30/2003 08:36 AM EST
Still following this from the Netherlands, and as Squee did; I'm proud to be a part of this thread... No disrespect, just curiousity here...:D
Chestnuts roasted by Oeg @ 05/30/2003 08:42 AM EST
Remember a few months ago when Matt was trying to think of what he should do over the weekends instead of putting up articles...How about little fact finding missions such as our Bitner situation. That would keep us busy for the few days between other XE content..just an idea.
Chestnuts roasted by Angry Mallard @ 05/30/2003 08:54 AM EST
Yo Hurricane; Nathan apparently had a few stints in mental clinics here and there; Tim alludes to one or two visits since I think 2000 or 01. It seems to be not too long before joining the Army. He's not only threatened to kill himself, in at least one alt.suicide post he said he actually tried to by swallowing a whole lot of OTC stuff and sleeping pills (I think) but vomited (does the past tense have one 't' or two? I guess one) them back up the cookie hatch. Two years in the funny farm shouldn't be ruled out for that gap. Yes, there are those who get out quicker but Nathan didn't seem like he would be in a hurry.
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/30/2003 10:25 AM EST
If some one saying they are Bitner show's up I'm rather confident that I can determine, through a couple of questions and examination of phrases if he is the real thing.
Chestnuts roasted by Tim Wilk @ 05/30/2003 10:26 AM EST
I hope everyone remembered to mark their calenders for Bitner's Birthday on November 2! Only 93 more shopping days...If he's still at war by then, would'nt it be lovely if Mattel actually gave in and had Photog ready by then and we ship him a care package with it? But mention nothing at the time, and let him figure it out from there.
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/30/2003 10:48 AM EST
We should start petitioning the designers of the new He-Man line, known as the Four Horsemen, for an upgraded Photog. I found their link while going through the various boards at He-Man.org http://www.fourhorsemen.biz/
Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 05/30/2003 10:53 AM EST
God-DAMN, this is fascinating. This is just so... Bitner. I just sat and read the whole blog right through, and I'm astounded at your collective detective work. Photog SHALL be produced. And the Search Fo Nathan Bitner continues...
Chestnuts roasted by Nick @ 05/30/2003 12:05 PM EST
By 1988 Bitner (Dalvecio) had become a wreak. The brianwashing had doen little to ease the pain. Bitners father, an Illuminated Mason, had become obsesive with reptiles and even threatened the family with settling down and starting a snake pit for tourists in Northwestern Texas. At this same time messages on their VW Vanogon began to appear that spooked the family enough that they fled for Cananda. In Canada at a Sunshine Family commune, Nathan(Ralph),free to roam around the countryside, disovered a strange golden triangle with a large eye in the center. Nathan believed he had been chosen to find this artifact and promptly fasioned a pendant out of it. He no longer felt regret about his part in the Mattel conspiracy but still was unable to come forward with his story for fear that he might lose his new precious emblem. Of course had he spoken his family would have been tortured and sacrificed to moloch the great owl. Silence has served him well and the triangle could not be compromised. It would be even more dubious if he came forward now. His greater plan is not yet fulfilled. On day maybe...
But not today.
Chestnuts roasted by troubalert @ 05/30/2003 12:28 PM EST
Has anyone but me found the stamp ad thing for HALO 2 at the top of this page kind of ironic?
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/30/2003 12:30 PM EST
Tessie, it's very possible that nathan bitner is a long lost cousin or something, but I don't really talk to my family all that much or I'd go that route. In fact, I don't talk to them at all, and haven't for like 10 years. All for the best. There are few Bitners about, however there seem to be a whole lot of Bittners around (note the difference in t's). I have a personal dislike for those Bittners with two t's in their name; they're dirty, rotton, and they will steal you blind if you're not careful.
Chestnuts roasted by lrbitner @ 05/30/2003 12:59 PM EST
I've been reading this from the begining, and felt compelled to add to the volume of posts/haikus:
Bitner And Photog
Inspire Me, Make 1st Time Post
Unites X-E fans.
A possible reason Bitner hasn't shown up here is the heavy MOTU content. Like those one-hit wonder bands forced to play weddings/frat parties the remainder of their career, Bitner may HATE Photog now, and avoid any mentioning of He-man, etc. Don't let Photog become Bitner's "867-309".
Also, bi-polar and manic depressive are NOT the same disorder, but very similiar. Many manic-depressives are also bi-polar, so people lump them together.
Chestnuts roasted by Rex Hedgehog @ 05/30/2003 01:14 PM EST
"867-5309" rather, Jenny's going to be pissed I forgot her number.
Chestnuts roasted by Rex Hedgehog @ 05/30/2003 01:15 PM EST
OH YEAH!? Well you one t bitners stole my hawg!
FEUD! FEUD!
Chestnuts roasted by Fred Bittner @ 05/30/2003 01:18 PM EST
Y'know, if Nathan doesn't post here, maybe we can try to find the other four runner ups of the Create-a-character contest..
BTW--Is anyone going to archive this whole thread for posterity?
Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Omega @ 05/30/2003 01:52 PM EST
I have recently posted on Subnova.com (formerly islandfour.org) asking in their forum if anyone knows Nathan Bitners contact info..... SO far I have this as a reply "I'm slightly leery of posting an individual's personal contact information on here. Perhaps if you said who you were, perhaps gave a name, an e-mail address, I might consider it.
Joe"
So in response, I gave him this link.....
Hope to hear something! Will let you know when I do.
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/30/2003 03:38 PM EST
You guys are making me read too much. I used to be illiterate until this... hey... that means Bitner IS good for somethin'!
We need Weird Al to do a song about Nathan...
Chestnuts roasted by Prezkot @ 05/30/2003 03:46 PM EST
I was a little shy about laying it all out on the line, but once again the awesomeness of this motley crew has delighted me. ^_^
As far as I know, manic-depressive and bipolar are seperate, and you could even be just manic or just depressive. Oh, and regarding Tourettes (which is closely related to Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder), I would not be shocked if Nathan suffered from a severe neurological disorder like that. From my reading and personal experience, 'sufferers'(not the word I would prefer to use, but i'm stuck for another) tend to be intensely creative, intelligent and self destructive, and succeptible to substance abuse. Just to enlighten anyone who's curious, Tourette's isn't just screaming out curse words. That's just one symptom that is so bizarre that people are fascinated by it. The other more common symptoms are things like depression, facial and verbal ticks and weird compulsions (like writing numbers on the walls, or maybe hiring call girls just to talk?) Again, I'm not trying to make fun of the Bitmeister. Just trying to shed a little light.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/30/2003 04:02 PM EST
Dr omega we have already heard from the creater of one of teh other entires (Brainwave i think)
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 05/30/2003 04:09 PM EST
D'Oh! Billy Stafford.. How did I miss that one.. Thanks Brentlok..
1 down, 3 to go..
Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Omega @ 05/30/2003 04:34 PM EST
Darn it, I just noticed the link about 4,000 posts up to a newer photo of Bitner: http://www.elecplay.com/interview.html?article=5890
but when I tried to go there, the website has mysteriously vanished, perhaps the result of some sort of conspiracy to keep us from finding the truth...or maybe it's just temporarily down for now. Anyway, is there anywhere else on the net to see this more recent pic of our hero? I'd like to see what the guy looked like right before the weight of the world sadly crashed down on him.
Chestnuts roasted by Goggles Pizano @ 05/30/2003 04:43 PM EST
Actually, manic depressive and bi-polar are the same. However, there are two different bi-polar disorders. They are distinguised as bi-polar I, where the patient is manic but may or may not be depressive at times. Bi-polar II is where the patient is depressive mainly and may have hypomania (low grade mania) at times. As for Krappy Kats comment about the "funny farm", that is not what I was referring to. I assume that by funny farm, you mean mental institution. I was referring to residential treatment programs which are for individuals who's conditions are deemed "stabilized" and they can begin integrating back into society in a semi-independent to independent setting while getting help with medication management, rehabilitation counseling, and psychiatric treatment. Just to clear that up ;).
Chestnuts roasted by Hurrican41 @ 05/30/2003 05:46 PM EST
Haha, this from someone that cannot spell their own nick correctly! :-P
Chestnuts roasted by Hurricane41 @ 05/30/2003 05:47 PM EST
I hope things are darkest before the light, and if this doesn't get an icon I demand a recount and an explanation...I'm calling you out Matt-el.
As far as the Bitman not wanting to hear about MOTU, he did make Photog his icon on website.
In regards to one hit wonders, I think that group that sings "867-5309" would be more than happen to sing it in exchange for table scraps and a warm place to sleep.
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/30/2003 05:58 PM EST
Well, inspired by the rest of you I googled myself...listen to this fascinating life I've led:
I'm a german citizen
I'm an author of atheist books
I have an art gallery in San Franciso(what the hell?)
I'm an editor
I sell real estate in the UK
Tenured professor at Boston College
Wedding Photograher
Member of Parliament
That's just page one...well I should be gone for the night or hopefully weekend, could you all do me a favor and find Bitner while I'm gone?
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/30/2003 06:23 PM EST
In one of the earlier posts, someone mentioned that in the little bio that HeMan.org did on Bitner, that they gave him a picture of a prototype Photog. Now I know that finding Bitner is important, but I think more important is the fact that...
THERE IS A GREEN AND PINK PHOTOG TRAPPED IN A MATTEL BUILDING SOMEWHERE!!!
It would also mean that there is only one Photog in the whole world (not counting the fan-made Photogs). With all this interest in him, I would say that Photog is probally the most valuable toy in the world. Maybe Mattel can put up a picture somewhere of the green and pink Photog. I know that Worst Witch had Tim Curry and all, but I would say that X-E may have a new holy grail.
A camera-headed holy grail.
Chestnuts roasted by FDS @ 05/30/2003 06:35 PM EST
I know you did not just diss Tommy Tutone. Oh no you didn't. You do not want to step to me, cuz I will get ugly. Did you know that the phone number 867-5309 is disconnected in every area code in the country because people still call it all the time? Supposedly the song is based on some real bathroom graffiti Tommy saw somewhere.
Love everyone's haikus, by the way. Is anybody combining poetry with their contest submission? I know I'd love to read an Elizabethean sonnet in iambic pentameter about Photog.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/30/2003 06:59 PM EST
Photog's shield is a big flashbulb! I just noticed that! My god, the character works on so many levels...
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 05/30/2003 07:41 PM EST
Christ! I can't believe I've just spent the last hour reading this.
It doesn't matter if Nathan doesn't show up becouse there is a little bit of Nathan Bitner in all of us
Chestnuts roasted by todd @ 05/30/2003 08:18 PM EST
Okay, so maybe Bitner won't commit suicide after reading all this. Apparently, he's been down that road before with not-so alarming results.. or something.
Maybe he enrolled in the army to become a mercenary with a penchant for firearms that way he can enact revenge against Mattel for going back on their word to have the Photog action figure made. I can imagine the situation now...
Mattel Executive Slimeball:(on phone) And sell 200 shares of random high-priced stock...
Bitner:(bursts into MES's office) Justice will be upheld!
MES: Who the hell are you? Where's security?
Bitner: Forgot me already, Mattel? Maybe this will make you smart! (shoots MES dead then sets fire to the office)
This, of course, leads to a final confrontation with the authorities and himself getting shot to death by them.
I wonder how Bitner will get punished in hell?
Chestnuts roasted by Go Knock Jimmy Down @ 05/30/2003 08:19 PM EST
Hey, i was just wonderin', was Photog supposed to be good or evil?
Chestnuts roasted by random loser @ 05/30/2003 08:43 PM EST
No new post in almost two hours! I hope this doesn't mean we are running out of steam here. I was waiting for the posts to get up to 666. Then Photog would reveal himself as the anti-christ and begin destroying the world. Hmm, maybe that would be soooo Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 05/30/2003 08:50 PM EST
Okay, Photog's head is the camera, his shield is a flash bulb and his chest shows the souls he has stolen ( lends a little credability to the anti-christ thing ) but what are those discs on his belt ? Film ?
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 05/30/2003 08:55 PM EST
Yea, specially conditioned film that steals souls. It also takes really nice picture outdoors. Who would have guessed.
Chestnuts roasted by lrbitner @ 05/30/2003 09:07 PM EST
Ok, who would make a better choice to play Nathan Bitner/Phearless Fotog in the script Im gonna write, 'Fearless Photog: The Nathan Bitner Story; or How The He-Man Dream Died And He Learned To Live With The Gemini'?
Ricky Schroeder? Seth Green? That kid from 'Who's The Boss'? Ron Jeremy? Drew Carey?
Chestnuts roasted by Prezkot @ 05/30/2003 09:11 PM EST
I think they should all be used as the parts of his brain like in Herman's head. Oh well I'm outta here (work) I don't have access at home so I will have a lot of cathing up to do on Monday.
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 05/30/2003 09:30 PM EST
hey that kid from Who's the Boss went to my elementary school. Danny what's his name, you can tell we were good friends. One guy in my boy scout troop was his neighabor had a real hate love hate relationship with him (he was crazy enough to put any former child actor to shame)
Anyway just found my Investigators Hand book here (by invstivegative repoter extordinare Don Ray, give credit where credit is due). Looking through the parts about researching the miltary and finding milltary paeronel. I get back when I find something.
Just want to reitterate, we can ask Nathan Bitner if he was to get in contact with us but if he says no and we keep at him it can be construed as harassment, and we'd be in real trouble. We would love to hear from you Nathan, but if not then that's the way the cookie crumbles.
Oh, I was gonna weigh in on the manic-depressive Bipolar thing, but I think that's been covered pretty well aready. Good job Hurricane41, you must be a therapist or somethin.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/30/2003 09:33 PM EST
The kid I knew from boy scouts was the crazy one, not the kid from Who's the Boss.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/30/2003 09:37 PM EST
sorry about the funny farm thing hurricane; I, uh, meant the same thing you did:) Would Nathan really have been considered a two-year case as a manic or bipolar, given what we know? All you psych majors and hobbyists, analyze him! Give us a tidy profile for Nathan Bitner. There may be a clue.
random loser, the Mattel 'zine at the top of the page says Photog is a "heroic camera-man who focuses in on Evil Warriors..." blah blah blah. I guess that means he's good, but good for WHAT?! I bet Cyclone and Snoutspout would make fun of him, and then King Randor would pop up at the end of the episode with one of his morals; "Cyclone and Snoutspout have really hurt Photog's camera feelings. They should've looked at their own goofy selves before making fun of others."
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/30/2003 09:38 PM EST
I've posted in here before, but now that I sit here, ready to make a serious entry, I simply don't know where to begin. Like many of you, Nathan Bitner has consumed my life. Granted, I am 17 years old, a little too young to have experienced He-Man as the rest of you have, so I was a little weary about posting in here. But now I realize, it's what I want. I want to be part of this Bitner worshipping, Photog saving community. I want to actively participate in this thread I have been reading since day one. I want to laugh with you, I want to cry with you, I want to rejoice and hold hands in a big circle when Bitner finally shows up and takes his loyal followers away to a better place. I feel some amazing connection to Bitner. Perhaps I knew him in a past life?
And now some final words:
First time blogger here
My purpose here is too clear
I want Gemini
Chestnuts roasted by JRockBishi @ 05/30/2003 09:40 PM EST
Generaly, psychological diganosis aren't really set for a period of time. If Your'ediaginosed as manic-depressive that's what you are unless you get diaginosed as something else that better explains your condition ( and hopfully it's a reasonable diganosis)
I really don't feel comfortable tryng to digianosing the Bitner-meister. I've never talked to him in person and only have 2nd hand accounts to go on ( Not to mention it would be illegal for me since I don't have my licence to practice yet). I will say one thing though, whatever he has it has proably been argivated by substance abuse. Abuse of drugs and alchol changes your brain chemstry, and not for the better (sorry to disapoint you kiddies, I'm not just say no fan either, denial never helps anything). Substance abuse is a problem in and of its self, plain and simple.
On the Miltary contact info, we need his name, birthdate, AND SS# to get in contact with him, so tha's not really an option at this point. I'll keep looking for option. What about those people who were in the milltary or had contacts in the milltary and could maybe use the millitary email thing? What happened with that?
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 05/30/2003 10:18 PM EST
Hmm. I didn't mean to imply that these programs solve all their problems. Mental illnesses are something most people have to live with and deal with for the rest of their lives. Sometimes however, due to circumstances in their lives, people simply fall apart. Their functioning levels at everyday normal things goes from say a 10 to a 2. This is what these programs help to address. It gets these folks out of mental institutions and back on the road to an independent, high quality, productive life. The mental illness most likely would never go away, but getting interested in life again and resolving substance abuse problems, homelessness (which is certainly an environmental trigger as is debt), and learning to deal with these issues. It just sounds to me like he has a lot of the right qualifications for one of these programs, assuming what you have learned about him is true. I merely suggested it as a possible filler for the two year gap.
Chestnuts roasted by Hurricane41 @ 05/30/2003 10:19 PM EST
I didn't read Rouge-13's last response before I posted the previous message. I agree with you 100% Rouge. None of us could possibly diagnose Bitner without actually having professional sessions with him, therefore, I have (I hope) refrained from sounding like I'm saying he has any particular diagnosis. I have to agree on the substance abuse issue as well. A large chunk of my clientele are recovering substance abusers. And thank you for the compliment Rouge :)
Chestnuts roasted by Hurricane41 @ 05/30/2003 10:31 PM EST
Here is something I found on the Rampancy website. This may clear up questions about his illness. This is an excerpt from the Bungie and I4 discussion that lead to Tim Wilk's post.
---Point well taken, although one might allege that this is in fact the case when entire companies actually consist of no more than one individual and his alternative personalities :)---
You know what this means...
Bitner came up with Photog because he thought he was Photog! Photog was one of Bitner's personalities. I wonder if he has another one...possibly named Tim? (j/k)
http://rampancy.synfibers.com/node.php?id=1&cid=2047
Chestnuts roasted by FDS @ 05/30/2003 10:58 PM EST
Well said, JRockBishi. You pretty much took the words right out of my mouth. I've not posted here before, mostly because I hate to post stuff, but I too have been following the Bitner/Photog spiral since day one. It's a completely enthralling story and has become my reason to wake up in the morning and not go to bed at night. You guys have done some fantastic detective work- I'm proud to sort-of know you. This is the most amazing thing. Hopefully all this work won't be in vain- either Bitner will show up or Photog'll be made (I'm for the latter, myself).
Oh- and if Bitner ever comes to take us away, a few words of advice: don't drink the Kool-aid. :)
Chestnuts roasted by Rainbowfeet @ 05/30/2003 11:46 PM EST
I'm suddenly fascinated by the psychological vein in the search; how does what you shrinks have so far match up with someone joining the Army to straighten up, and esp. in a job as health care specialist? Wouldn't that mean he could get lots of morphine and stuff? I wouldn't see his mental history being a barrier to such jobs as say, bazooka specialist or HISS tank driver, but health care? (Dr. Mindbitner could just be a nurse) Substance abuse seems to be part of the mental problems; either one could trigger the other it seems. And, is there a lot of this kind of breakdown among serious psych students?
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/30/2003 11:58 PM EST
Rouge-13, my mother works with the government for the Surgeon General of the Army. I started to tell her the story, which has some kind of power that seems to drawl people into finding out more. She, too, is now curious in finding Bitner. She works with Army Personnel, and thinks she may be able to pull up something if he is involved in the medical field. What is the info known so far?
NAME: Nathan Elery Bitner
Birthdate: November 2, 1974
Birthplace: Chicago, Illinois
Is this right? I won't have any info until Monday afternoon.
Chestnuts roasted by FDS @ 05/31/2003 12:11 AM EST
It's Napierville, Illinois Napierville! Anybody ever actually been there? Way early poster Wacky Chewbacky pointed out that it's a burb about 15 miles from Chicago
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 05/31/2003 12:34 AM EST
You leave the forum for one day and you get 100 new posts to read.
I had a vision of Bitner today (in his 28 year old form not the kid one) he was talking in some language I didn't understand, perhaps I'm the one that needs the mental check-up
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 05/31/2003 01:00 AM EST
I just went to a bar with some friends. You know the typical "Let's go out, see hot chicks, not talk to them" sort of thing. Our conversation was peppered with Bitnerisms. I thing a few "That's gayer than Photog"'s fit in there somewhere. In other words: this is way larger than any of us. It has pervaded modern bar culture on the Massachusetts/New Hampshire border. And if that's not pop culture phenomenon, then shit, I don't know what is.
Also, if Photog's head is such advanced camera technology then why does his chest show his victims in Zoetrope-vision. That's like playing a CD on a Victrola.
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 05/31/2003 01:51 AM EST
I too have wondered about the technology used for photog. Is he "magic" like Orko, or cyborg style like Mechanek, non-human species like Buzz Off or even some freaky frankenstein style monster like Man-e-faces? I fear without Bitner we will never know.
Also I wonder if his Camera-head could be adapted for x-ray vision "I-see-through-Teela's-pants" style mischief?
As regards to Bitner's mental status, it has already been said that it is wrong to give a clinical evaluation without meeting him.
However, on the basis of his life history, I too would suspect the diagnosis of Bipolar disorder. Look at the evidence. He fulfils the criteria for the depressive element (the suicide bid, the hard times with Tim etc) and he also exhibits manic characteristics including "grandiosity" (from his posts online) "erratic behaviour" (in a word: Gemini), "excessive involvement in pleasureable activities". The whole I4 thing seems concordant with the "increased activities/ projects" that often accompany the mania/hypomania element of bipolar disorder. If anyone has a copy of DSM IV they can check the criteria in more detail. The only flaw is that an exclusion criteria for BD
is the use of psychoactive drugs and pre-existing medical condition, which could be a confounding factor here.
Also bear in mind we have an extremely incomplete picture, and it would be interesting to see if Bitner suffered the mood swings, irritability, racing thoughts that are typical of BD (Tim? Gemini?anyone?).
Chestnuts roasted by Spatch @ 05/31/2003 05:58 AM EST
Another thought is that his symptoms must have either been alleviated or under control if he was cleared by the military psych's.
Chestnuts roasted by Spatch @ 05/31/2003 06:02 AM EST
Botchie Gulp:
"Mojo... There are two Nathan Bitners listed on Classmates, one in PA and another in TX. I'll leave it to the more erudite Bitner scholars among us to speculate if it could be HIM. LoL."
Having gone through the Classmates military, educational, and university sites respectively, while listening to Ween, I have realized that a) Bitner is a really uncommon last name, and b)the sun's come up and I'm all washed out. Is this what Photog was talkin' about?
I think the internet has yielded all the answers it can. I propose we send a letter to Oprah.
Don't laugh. She used to do those videotaped letters for the troops and run them on her show, with live connections to the troops in question. Is it not conceivable, in this era of reality-TV which feeds on the sorrows of others, to convince some major network show to find Bitner FOR us? They have the resources, and more importantly, would bring national spotlight onto Bitnermania.
I'm willing to dress up like Gemini and pose as his loving sister/girlfriend for the video. Think it'd work?
Chestnuts roasted by mojocat @ 05/31/2003 06:08 AM EST
Final word from Subnova.com
"Next time you want to gain someone's confidence, don't use a link you found in 10 seconds on http://www.google.com/search?q=nathan+bitner&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8Google.";
Humph. At least we know if Nathan does it, he will find us in "10 seconds"
"Actually Mark, if you check out the link you can see that someone has actually posted saying they have posted on Subnova asking for information about Bitner.
:I'm afraid that we don't have any contact information for Mr. Bitner, he just completely dropped off the face of the earth when he joined the military. You could try asking them how you could go about getting in touch with him?
:Max"
Well, another dead end.
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 05/31/2003 07:52 AM EST
You guys are all so god-damn wierd...
...but having said that, I just spent a perfectly good afternoon reading the entire blog...
Chestnuts roasted by Hanbidge-Smith @ 05/31/2003 11:50 AM EST
Like me, I think all the people that have been following this but not posting should post NOW and make their presence known. There are more Bitner fans among us. Perhaps there can be a Photog political party..
Chestnuts roasted by JRockBishi @ 05/31/2003 01:18 PM EST
Just making my presence known.
Chestnuts roasted by MOBIUS @ 05/31/2003 01:35 PM EST
If you've been reading but not posting...well, thats just un-American, and um, un-Canadian and whereever else you non-posters are from...
Imagine if you will a alternate reality where the figure had actually been made, it would already be collecting dust at garage sales or the Goodwill...and imagine the arc of Bitners life from there...
Whoa.
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 05/31/2003 01:40 PM EST
Krappy Kat, you'd be surprised at the quantity of metally ill in health care. I know of a diagnosed schizophrenic who is a psychiatrist as well as several bi-polars and one diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, so no, it wouldn't necessarily exclude them from the health care industry. Granted, all of these people have their disorders very much under control and their employers and co-workers know about them, so we all can help as a bit of a support group for them. It would depend on his role as a health care specialist as to whether Bitner would have access to any drugs, but I would be more concerned with his prior substance abuse in that regard than his mental illness if I was his boss/commanding officer.
Chestnuts roasted by Hurricane41 @ 05/31/2003 01:46 PM EST
Imagine Matt's eBay Seller ad for the Photog figure.
I can. Jesus, I can. After the Bamboo Peanut, that would be his crowning glory.
He could probably sell the hard copy of the contest art on eBay for hundreds if he included some of this blog in his pitch.
Matt? Need extra coin?
Chestnuts roasted by mojocat @ 05/31/2003 01:48 PM EST
Just showing my support for the Bitner hunt and Photog. Now let me be an American again.
Chestnuts roasted by Tenas Xavier @ 05/31/2003 02:39 PM EST
Just had a thought. Maybe the reason it seems like Bitner dropped off the face of Earth when he joined the army is because... he died. :
Chestnuts roasted by NinJor-X @ 05/31/2003 02:49 PM EST
Doubtful, since any names of soldiers killed in Iraqi Freedom have been in the news. With all the searching that we're doing I would imagine we would have come across it.
I must confess that I lied when I said I found nothing on Google by searching my name. In fact, I was the queen of the Netherlands until 1980.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/31/2003 03:24 PM EST
Died? If wouldn't be very Bitner would it? I'm thinking more like, fell off a truck, captured by Iraqis, his captures destered thier army and left him there tied up, rescued by some nomad, rides a camel through the desert for 2 days where he almost dies, and then is spotted by chance by a U.S. chopper on route back to a base.
Is multiple personalites too wierd to rule out as a possible mental illness of Bitners?
Chestnuts roasted by FDS @ 05/31/2003 03:57 PM EST
I checked CNN.com last week and Bitner doesn't show up on the list of soldiers killed in Iraq. So Far.
Chestnuts roasted by Steve @ 05/31/2003 05:38 PM EST
I think its safe to say Bitner isn't dead. I also think its probably safe to say that analyzing his mental stability is not only more than a little speculative but with so little concrete evidence also a little frightening. Could it be possible that maybe, just maybe he simply likes prostitutes and isn't good with money as opposed to having a full-blown neuro-chemical proto-Freudian pseudo-Jungian Id-driven crisis in volving full-blown bi-polar disorder, Tourettes, MPD, manic depression, and who knows what else. And i don't remember who said it earlier in the thread, but I'll paraphrase - who didn't think about suicide in the early 90's? It was the COOL thing to do. To be popular you head to pretend you were totally depressed and life never gave you a fair shake. That was like today's backward ball cap.
That said....maybe he has Lyme disease?
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 05/31/2003 07:21 PM EST
Hmmmm.... I wonder if Bitner ever registered at one of those FriendsReunited type sites. Although I can only imagine what he put in.
"Q: What did you do after school/college"
"A: WELL.......... but hey, I ended up in the Army. If theres a reunion, can someone pay for food and transport down? Any of youse turn out to be a call girl too?"
Chestnuts roasted by RyanB @ 05/31/2003 08:24 PM EST
Just another lurker coming into the light.
Come to us, Nathan! We await your word!
Chestnuts roasted by Apple Pie @ 05/31/2003 09:06 PM EST
Evidence does suggest he hasn't taken a suck from the big cock of death just yet.
However I have formulated a theory.
Maybe, just maybe, Nathan took a bullet in the bum in Iraq, he's currently in a hospital somewhere with his Lieutenant who had his legs blown off, and soon SOON MY FRIENDS he will take the WORLD BY STORM by becoming a ping pong prodigy..and therefore travel to china and stuff...
and he'd have a picture of photog on his paddle.
sorry. i'm drunk and the missus just made me watch forrest gump
Chestnuts roasted by Po @ 05/31/2003 09:57 PM EST
Our hero is registered at ebay under the name "cortana" using his NathanBitner@email.msn.com address. Useless info? Probably, but I just wanted to contribute something and it looks like all the good stuff has already been discovered and posted. Come home soon, o' beloved father of Photog!
Chestnuts roasted by Goggles Pizano @ 05/31/2003 10:03 PM EST
Here's something interesting, thanks to Goggles for pointing this out: http://cgi2.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback&userid=cortana
Notice those last 3 auctions, all things he sold, received the money, but never sent the product. I'm too lazy to look it up but aren't those dates relatively close to the time Bitner joined the Army?
Chestnuts roasted by MG @ 05/31/2003 11:07 PM EST
Using his E-Bay name I was able to find this:
http://cgi2.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback&userid=cortana
not that important but still interesting
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 05/31/2003 11:07 PM EST
Damn someone beat me with that info
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 05/31/2003 11:08 PM EST
And notice he left no feedback for his buyers. How very Bitner of him.
Chestnuts roasted by RolfesAngel @ 05/31/2003 11:54 PM EST
This just keeps getting bigger. I should be bored with this by now, but I'm not. Bitnermania is runnin wild. Here's my haiku:
I asked for one thing
A nice Bitner blog button
I still hold out hope
Chestnuts roasted by extraordinarymagnitude @ 05/31/2003 11:56 PM EST
I've been trying to comment...
If this actually gets posted, I would like to say that I've been following this story and it's wonderful! Very entertaining stuff...
It is very weird to see the things you can find out about people through the internet. I almost fear for my safety.
Other than that, let's hope we find Bitner!
Chestnuts roasted by Denise @ 06/01/2003 12:02 AM EST
OK, I don't wanna pick a fight on a trivial thing like Bitner The King Where Art Thou?, but I WAS THE FIRST TO INQUIRE that he died in war! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... Okay, I'm a little tired... Why did Elery pick 'Cortana' as his ebay name? Is it a character in Halo or what? He didn't sell much... Zzzzzzz.....
Chestnuts roasted by Prezkot @ 06/01/2003 12:42 AM EST
Matt, oh Matt...What hast thou wrought?!?!
I've been following this INSANE phenomenon from the git go, but have been too busy with my term-paper to post. You are all nuttier than squirrel droppings, but I love you ALL! To think I get to be a part of something so HUGE...I am so blown away and honored.
I'm so disillusioned too! I'm never going to participate in any "design your own figure" corporate scam again! And I had such a cool new Ninja Turtles figure palnned. He had this camera for a head and... oh, never mind.
Can't wait to see the art contest. Ok, back to my term-paper. Peace out my brothers and sisters in Bitner! He shall return...
Chestnuts roasted by Esq. @ 06/01/2003 12:54 AM EST
"Why did Elery pick 'Cortana' as his ebay name?" it was some like program or character that he thought up and programmed or something, I'd look it up but I'm pretty sure someone else will
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 06/01/2003 12:54 AM EST
Spatch: "However, on the basis of his life history, I too would suspect the diagnosis of Bipolar disorder."
Possibly. But a lot of times people get diagnosed with BD that are actually sympematic of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Anyone that feels like expounding on BPD, please do (lots of info on Google), I would but it reminds me too much of my ex (who had it). I think it sounds a little more... Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by They're a delicious meal from Burger Trench @ 06/01/2003 01:34 AM EST
My brother is in the US Army Miltary Police Corps and he was able to do a search of personnel and turned up this entry:
Name: PFC Nathan Elery Bitner
Phone Number: *-*-4530
Email: nathan.e.bitner@***
The asterisks were my brother's call and I am respecting his wishes.
Chestnuts roasted by RDavis @ 06/01/2003 03:05 AM EST
I am veeeeery intrigued by the fact that Forrest Gump parallels have surfaced again. Perhaps we should study F.G. for clues.
Thanks RDavis!
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/01/2003 03:45 AM EST
Yes, I got the same email address as the one of RDavis's brother an have emailed it about 6 days ago or so. But if indeed he is in Iraq the likley hood of somone in his field being able to check email is slim and even if he could he wouldn't have that much time. I think we are going to have to wait until he comes out of Iraq before he sees much email. What was the date of that quote from him about Iraq? Typicially during situations like this you serve 6 month rotation meaning that after he has been in country for 6 months he should be on his way back to the states or whever his unit is from.
Chestnuts roasted by edthacow @ 06/01/2003 04:46 AM EST
Well....Just in case noone else has, I'm going to go ahead and e-mail a few of his E-Bay customers...Just to see if I can get a contact e-mail adress from them. Figure it couldn't hurt...
Also, I'm deep in the ARG (Alternate Reality Games) community, I was wondering what every thought about enlisting some of them? Some of these guys could find Hoffa via the 'net.
Anyone else notice how Matt keeps avoiding the question of a Bitner button? Maybe the MATT-el theory is closer to the truth that we think?
...And I had a T-Shirt made yesterday...Black with white block lettering..."FREE PHOTOG" on the front, and "SAVE BITNER" on the black. Only cost $20 at a local screen printers.
Chestnuts roasted by Karmic Crimewave @ 06/01/2003 05:07 AM EST
Well i found this on a search for cortina. It links to bungie. Was this one of Bitners other email addresses.
http://marathon.bungie.org/story/cortana.html
i havnt read it yet i dont have time right now but take a look, it might conect some bitner stuff together.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 06/01/2003 06:53 AM EST
I know your name squee, cos I live in the Netherlands...
I also think that we should try to get more parties involved, like tv-programs or the such...
We should spread it around the net!
Chestnuts roasted by Oeg @ 06/01/2003 08:25 AM EST
--actually spent 24 hours away from the siege. realizing that one has to be careful not to blather TOO much about the blog during conversations with others:@
RDavis--good job on the email address; god that hurts, an email address for Bitner that might actually work--your brother of course did the right thing by not completing it (but we were so close!) but it means we're starting to net even more interesting stuff
Karmic, contacting Nathan's ebay buyers sounds slick, but with what we've seen so far I wouldn't trust ANY contact anyone gives for him prior to enlisting in the army. They might at least know something
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/01/2003 08:59 AM EST
I might be,er, probably am looking too far into something really trivial, but something caught my attention on the ebay thing--Nathan apparently had a great reputation as a reliable and trustworthy seller of things (wondering what he sold) for like a couple of years. Last good comment was on Feb. 19, 2000 "no problems. good communication"--
Four short days later, Bitner gets paid for an item, and doesn't ship. No contact could be made, nothing. A year later, same story. Nathan gets paid, but doesn't send the goods or even respond to email. Last comment is Feb. 13 of 2001: "he's a THIEF!" Gets paid but doesn't ship or respond. Wierd; what happened? What was he doing or posting during these dates? Tim, do you remember when Nathan shipped out?
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/01/2003 09:21 AM EST
Just regarding Spatch's comments on bipolar disorder, I just fished this out of the ol' Google Groups
>I too am interested in this subject. Is the term "manic depression"
>no longer used and to be replaced with "bipolar disorder"
>when writing articles?
Both terms are still used by both professionals and patients, but
you will find professionals especially using "bipolar x disorder"
increasingly, where "x" is a number from 1-4 describing different
types of bipolar disorder. In the "official" nomenclature of DSM-IV
manic-depression has been replaced with bipolar I-IV in the section under
affective disorders.
As far as the reason ... the people who write DSM felt it to be
more accurate, similar to the reasoning behind replacing MPD with
Dissociative Identity Disorder. It is assumed that someone who has
experienced even one manic episode will also be prone to a depressive
episode. At least that's what the textbooks say.
Nathan Bitner
Dept of Psychology
Univ of North Carolina - Chapel Hill
Now hows that for coincidence? I don't think this is the same Bitner though. Didn't Bitner go to Chicago something. How odd. Two Bitners with Bipolar disorder in common. Bitners. Bitner. BitnerBitnerBitnerBitner.
Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by RyanB @ 06/01/2003 09:57 AM EST
It's actually the same Bitner, RyanB. It's been estalished that our Fearless Bitner attended Chapel Hill Campus (he had an email address there I think) and was indeed studying Psychology. Ironic, no Although not surprising. I myself suffer from a heavy case of OCD and I'm very interested in psychology.
Chestnuts roasted by It helps to just have a really cool last name, and use that. You know, like Van Halen... or Dokken... or, to a lesser extent, Z'Nuff.... @ 06/01/2003 10:40 AM EST
To the people asking about cortana, or whatever, search for the cortana letters. they were a promotional "leak" from bungie to the person running the bungie fan site. They were very cryptic, and supposed to be dropping hints about myst, or riven or one of those stupid games I never played. Nathan was listed later in credits as part of level design, and creative consultant, or something.
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/01/2003 10:59 AM EST
Dr. Mindbitner
specialty: Health Care
file name: Bitner, Nathan E.
birthplace: Napierville, Illinois
email: unknown
"Nathan was always considered a whiz kid who like all the greats tip-toed along the fine line between eccentricity and just-plain-nuts. And trouble just seemed to follow him like flies to a garbage truck. He won the He-man figure design contest, was online since at least 1992, became a big PC game producer, quit, went into awful debt and functional breakdown, and joined the Army.
"Nathan was a wreck when we got got him. He missed having prostitutes to hang out with, smelled like you-know-what, and kept babbling on about suicide and someone named Cortana and Photog. Heck, he actually had a whole web forum devoted to him and his wackiness! We put him in health care as a reminder to the physically and emotionally wounded that no matter how bad your situation is, things could be worse. Much worse. Definitely someone we'd rather have working for us than COBRA"
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/01/2003 11:13 AM EST
Not sure just throwing this out there....do you think Photog might not have been made since he possibly wasn't completely original? Marvel's had Armin Zola (nazie with a camera for a head) around for a good while...any chance he was in comic books around 1986 or so---Armin Zola seems to be the biggest "camera for a head"....one of the cenobites is known as Camera head and there's a villain character from a surreal children's book. Just throwing this out there...I think its original enough...Just wanted to hear from a comicbook boy...
crossreferencing geekdom as it were.
-Jared
Chestnuts roasted by Ohgodtherats @ 06/01/2003 12:30 PM EST
Methinks Mattel would have cleared all the possible copyright issues before chosing a winner the contest. But then again it's possible something might have come up after Photog was announced as the victor. You never know, perhaps power-drunk Mattel execs figured they were above the law..
it makes sense to me anyway.
p.s. Bitner is Forrest Gump
Chestnuts roasted by Po @ 06/01/2003 01:31 PM EST
Matt, make a deal...
How many sensible replies do you want, before giving us a button???
1000 sounds reasonable...
Chestnuts roasted by Oeg @ 06/01/2003 02:13 PM EST
"Maybe the MATT-el theory is closer to the truth that we think?"
Firstly, the site is Matt's, and if he chooses not to change the format it is purely his decision. Whatever he chooses to do or not do is a choice that I wholeheartedly agree with, because it is his.
Secondly, we're all submitting new art, so doesn't it occur to you that perhaps somebody will be getting their flippers kicked to the curb? (shhhhhhhhhh...maybe it's supposed to be a surprise!! in that case I said nothing!)
I think that we should strive to have all 6 continents represented in here. (I don't think penguins have computers) How many have we got so far? Andybody from Africa, Asia, Australia or South America lurking about? This should be a global community!
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/01/2003 02:21 PM EST
I wanna be the representative of n america. and I should also mention that I visited this site while I was in austraila, and showed it to several friends, I don't know if they still visit though. (another useless post)
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/01/2003 03:19 PM EST
Good theory about us creating the new icon, I hope we aren't having false hopes though...there have too many false alarms in this blog to handle much more...
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 06/01/2003 03:46 PM EST
Since everyone's coming out of the woodwork, I might as well too. I'm a longtimereaderfirsttimeposter, and following the Saga of Bitner from the beginning has whiled away many an hour. Thank you Matt (and Bitner), for uniting us all, capturing our hearts, and teaching us how to laugh--and love--again.
BTW, I propose a special mission to retrieve the pink and green Photog prototype from the dungeons of Mattel. With all the Bitnerites out there with military connections there must be SOMEONE with access to a covert Black Ops unit, right? Anyone? Anyone? Bitner?
Chestnuts roasted by Hessica @ 06/01/2003 03:57 PM EST
I propose we just admit we're stalking him and someone tell me where to drive to find out if its him.
I mean Child protection/privacy wasn't "all the rage" as it is now...Any creepy pedophiles out there want to give us some pointers on finding the real guy's past?
On a side note who's from Europe..I'm going to Berlin...need to rant with someone who knows the place.
-Jared
Chestnuts roasted by ohgodtherats @ 06/01/2003 04:05 PM EST
I am amazed at how much you all came up with by searching for him on google, there were only three matches for my name.
On another topic i know that if this bitner character ever surfaces I am going to be flabbergasted, it'll simply be an amazing day to change everything, not really but I probally will tell everyone I know about it and then they'll shun me, but at least I'll know what ever became of Bitner.
once we find him we should set up a group of people to keep track of him and keep him alive for years to come so that our lives can be made happier by the stories of his adventures.
Chestnuts roasted by steveman @ 06/01/2003 04:07 PM EST
I know Brentlok's from the UK, I'm from the Netherlands, so we've got Europe covered (sort off). I don't want to force Matt into anything, but was just trying... And you can't blame people for trying, now can you??
Any Aussies in tha house?? Holla (or whatever!?)
Chestnuts roasted by Oeg @ 06/01/2003 04:16 PM EST
It's official, this blog is more addictive than crack.
Chestnuts roasted by Bigshow71 @ 06/01/2003 05:59 PM EST
"I'm suddenly fascinated by the psychological vein in the search; how does what you shrinks have so far match up with someone joining the Army to straighten up, and esp. in a job as health care specialist? Wouldn't that mean he could get lots of morphine and stuff? I wouldn't see his mental history being a barrier to such jobs as say, bazooka specialist or HISS tank driver, but health care? (Dr. Mindbitner could just be a nurse) Substance abuse seems to be part of the mental problems; either one could trigger the other it seems. And, is there a lot of this kind of breakdown among serious psych students? "
Very astute Kat. In my personal experence some people study psychology to find out about their problems. The problem occurs when they don't realise if they are going to take it on as a career they need to help other people with their problems (could be an issue if somone has something like Narsisicistic Personality Dissorder, but I digress). I personally avoided psychology untill I thought I would be able to deal with other peoples' problems. BTW, Dr. Mindbender was a dentist before he started on his evil medical career;).
Oh FDS, It's cool of you to take such an intrest, but could your mom get in trouble for looking Bitner up like that? We don't want to violate anyone's privacy, and for the love-of-the-Sorceress don't put his SS# up here. I under stand how much we want to find him but it's a fine line between looking for someone and stalking them, and we're starting to tread it.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 06/01/2003 06:55 PM EST
Suddenly Nathan has transformed from Forrest Gump into Patch Adams. (although Leaving Las Vegas was the movie I first thought of) Nathan seemed to think of himself as the next Freud when he was like 18 or 19, apparently. (a heavy interest in pharmaceutics too) Basic Psych 101 was all I could take: I couldn't handle splitting white rat skulls. Maybe he really wanted to be a doctor all this time
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/01/2003 08:00 PM EST
long live the log for the photog blog!!!!!!!!
Chestnuts roasted by pogocorpse @ 06/01/2003 08:12 PM EST
ohgodtherats spake unto us, and said thusly: "Marvel's had Armin Zola (nazi with a camera for a head) around for a good while."
Ahhh, comic book geekdom IS good for something (besides being an invincible woman-repeller).
Arnim Zola does not have a camera for a head. His head is in his chest. The thing that sits atop his neck (which does indeed look like a camera) is an "ESP Box" that gives him mental powers and which can generate devastating mind blasts. So though the character does predate Fearless Photog by quite awhile (at least a decade, I'd say), the resemblances are really only superficial.
Bitner's Divince Creation is a pure original, rest assured.
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 06/01/2003 08:51 PM EST
That's positively frightening. Congrats on the Zola bit...All I could find were pictures. I think all geeks should specialize...we'd be more efficient that way.
Photog in Hollywood:
Rented Hellraiser 3 to see the "Camerahead" Cenobite (an obvious role for the out-of-work Bitner creation)...while the cenobite doesn't look like Photog you'll notice one of The Fearless' rare on-screen cameos as the cenobite's original body, holding a human head. SO yes, for three seconds we can see Photog live and in action, holding a severed human head.
Anyone want to publish a Choose-Your-own Adventure called "whatever happened to Nathan Bitner?"
Chestnuts roasted by ohgodtherats @ 06/02/2003 12:31 AM EST
I had a thought realted to this blog while away from the computer today. (suprise suprise) anywho... on to my idea which may cause many of you to dislike me until such a time as you fall asleep, and dream of poppies. I say we track down the winner of the original x-e post (e-bay sale of the green bamboo peanut!) Now that's a failure I'd like to meet!
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/02/2003 12:42 AM EST
You know I should resent the remark that someone would join the army because they're a troubled nutcase running from a life of debt and failed action figures...
I, for one, never created a failed action figure.
Wait, that's not my point.
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 06/02/2003 01:00 AM EST
Congratulations Internet! Now someome in the hills of Western Kentucky knows about Nathan Bitner. And, more importantly, that someone is laughing his ass off about Arnim Zola! I have read all the posts, I have signed the petition, and I am here for the duration.
Chestnuts roasted by chainsawred @ 06/02/2003 01:15 AM EST
Someone asked if there were any australian's following the bitner saga... I can safely assure you there are at least one (myself) :)
Chestnuts roasted by Torias @ 06/02/2003 05:25 AM EST
"Oh FDS, It's cool of you to take such an intrest, but could your mom get in trouble for looking Bitner up like that?"
Rouge-13, I understand what you mean. I wouldn't be able to give any personal information. The thing I maybe able to find out is where he was stationed or a platoon he is with or something. She may be able to send him something, but I wouldn't want to print any info on him. I'll update later in the afternoon. Off to work.
Chestnuts roasted by FDS @ 06/02/2003 07:03 AM EST
kudos to FDS and your mom; it's wacky, but it may be the closest shot we'll get to contacting Bitner if he's in the combat zone
I think the only hitch here is that she's gotta play it kind of coy and avoid being overly direct; an email from the office of the Surgeon General of the Army urging one to do a word search on one's name and/or He-Man contests might smack of odd, even for Bitner. Any ideas on how to make good use of this in case we get something?
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/02/2003 08:01 AM EST
Count me in as an aussie photog follower. (I'm the one that walks around monash uni in a white bonds top with save bitner on it)
Chestnuts roasted by dredt @ 06/02/2003 08:47 AM EST
"Anyone want to publish a Choose-Your-own Adventure called 'whatever happened to Nathan Bitner?' "
Well it would be a pretty easy adventure to get through for any one with common sense.
Turn to page 85 to get up on time and go to work
Turn to page 72 to stay up late for no reason, then oversleep and not go to work and get fired and get more in debt.
I guess only Bitner would appreciate the humor there.
Chestnuts roasted by Tim Wilk @ 06/02/2003 09:35 AM EST
I think the log may be losing steam,has anyone heard back from a contact for the emails and such??
Chestnuts roasted by pogocorpse @ 06/02/2003 10:02 AM EST
Hi I'm Nate Bitner. Leave me alone!
Actually no, I'm not. But hey. . . . . . . well . . . . . I can't think of anything cool to say. Stop laughing. Anyway, this whole thing is hilarious. I love it. I've been posting at He-Man.org for a couple years and never dreamed I would just happen to come across a post there that would lead me to this. I suddenly know more about the kid that beat out my design (Changor - Heroic Master of Disguise . . . . . yeah so I was 11, bite me alright) than I could ever possibly dream. Poor guy (rot in heck!) But, as stupid as Photog seemed at that time to me, he suddenly seems so freakin' cool now. So cool that I've redesigned him for the 2k3 MOTU line and as soon as I find someone to splash digital colours on it, I'll be posting it at He-Man.org so check it out. Anyway, this page is getting favorited and visited by me regularly from now on. Long live Photog!!!!!! (and Changor!!! - stop laughing! Don't make me get all Bitner on your booty)
Chestnuts roasted by Ghost of Vapor @ 06/02/2003 10:31 AM EST
Long time lurker, first time poster. Been reading the Binter/Photog blog with wonder and fear since day one. I remember the Sunday comic where they printed the winners of the MotU contest - never thought I seen them again. Viva Photog! Viva Binter! (posting from O.C., Southern CA)
Chestnuts roasted by Lantern @ 06/02/2003 11:51 AM EST
Damn you Bitner Blog, you're not dying on my watch! Live damnit live...I know the reason this blog is dying and I point the finger at Matt-el...Where is our icon?!?
You should know that unless you have been with this from the start this short attention span generation is not going to look at something posted on the 21st...might as well be last year to them...These kids today.
Now you may ask what have I contributed to this forum as far as pertinent information...the answer is nothing. But hey, you point the finger at someone four are pointing right back at you.
--Icon please--
thanks, management
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 06/02/2003 12:28 PM EST
You cant look at this blog as dying. Its the weekend! Even though I cant take a break from here, some people must.
Photog Lives!
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 06/02/2003 12:30 PM EST
It's not over yet! We WILL have our socks blown off harder than ever with the next bombshell, whatever it'll happen to be. But until we get the next big new thing, we have to go over everything we already have with a fine tooth comb; I'm convinced there's something big we've overlooked.
"Chester Copperpot! Chester Copperpot! You guys know what this means? Look how far we've come!"
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/02/2003 12:55 PM EST
Well if you are looking for progress, I got another reply from Subnova.com It says something like If Bitner has a girl after him, that cant be a bad thing....
Or something like that.
That is all.
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 06/02/2003 01:20 PM EST
I wish I had a girl like tessie after me....my wife hates this site
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/02/2003 02:27 PM EST
Been reading X-E for quite awhile now and decided I should show my support for the hunt for Bitner.
I am finnaly at the end of this blog, it took me long enough. I am also an aussie, so this truley is an international event.
Peace, Love and Bitner guys.
Greg.
Chestnuts roasted by Tango @ 06/02/2003 02:39 PM EST
This is just like a MOTU episode. We get a wacky tale of some bizare guy with a camera for a head. It has its ups and downs as well as a few odd bits right out of left field. Then in the end, we get our lesson for the day (psychology). Are you really King Randor Rouge-13 ?
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 06/02/2003 03:21 PM EST
Alright, aussies!
Now we just need to hear from our peeps in S. America, Africa and Asia. Belize, I'm looking at you...
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/02/2003 03:22 PM EST
I wonder what Bitner is doing right now. sigh. I read a few posts back someone said we should ask Oprah to do a segment on Pvt. Bitner. thats a great idea. we need to get some tv coverage on the search for bitner. has anyone made any attemps?
Chestnuts roasted by random loser @ 06/02/2003 04:11 PM EST
Ok, we've got three continents covered...
I'm with the random loser on contacting a tv-program or channel... WE NEED media-coverage (and an icon ;-) )
Chestnuts roasted by Oeg @ 06/02/2003 04:43 PM EST
Well, I'm found out. Just as well because our plan can now go into action. Yes, this saga has had many twists and turns and our goal of reaching the fabled Nathan Bitner has been just out of our reach, that is until this very auspecious and oppertune moment (royalty uses a lot of "and"s).
What we need now is few select ans brave souls to become the New Masters of the Universe to rescue Photog from the evil shadow corperation Mattel, which is only a front for Skellator's money landering arm. Our new super elete commando expert fly-by-night super MTOU team will infiltrate Mattel Headquaters and rescue the Imprisoned Photog, who was being held in a secrete dungen/R&D lab ans studied for the secrets the technology and Magic that created him (the two researchers happen to be Beast Man and Trap Jaw, which explains why the research has gone nowhere, but none the less...).
Why have we not attempted to rescue photog in nearly 20 years? Good question. We have a lack of MTOu in Mexico, where Mattel was moved in the late 80's due to a sugestion by then busness consultant Richard Riordan, Later Mayor of Los Angeles. What has been miss from the Puzzle untill now is that Richard Riordan was really none other than Skellator in disscise (What!?! The formmer Mayor of Los Angeles was Skellator!?! Explains a lot, dosent it?)
Now you may be asking where Nathan Bitner may fit into this box within a box, within a box, within a box, within a box ? This too is a good question (my you are just full of questions today, busy beaver you). Allow me to start in reverse. Bitner was put into the army to put him out of the way in Iraq. He was placed the on orders of the Skull and Bones Society, which in turn had the Masons carry out the details who sub contracted the job to several parties includeing... Yaaawn1
Wow, I need some sleep, as well as a girlfriend. I'll get to working on that, not nessarily in that order though.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 06/02/2003 05:14 PM EST
opps, forgot to paste this at the top of the last post:
Are you really King Randor Rouge-13 ?
And no makeing fun of the Kings poor spelling, that's a Royal Decree! I was floated through school because I'm royalty. I didn't want it that way, but such things happen when your royality, there's no choice in the matter, it's just life.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 06/02/2003 05:24 PM EST
So, i spent the weekend in Vegas at a bachelor party, and even though i tried to focus on what was going on, my thoughts managed to come back to this blog at least a couple times a day.....i suppose that means i'm addicted. Well, fine with me, i just managed to catch up with everything that happened when i was gone, and i'm confident that Matt (Matt-el?) has a suprise waiting for us at the end of the picture contest....i wait with anticip.....pation.
Chestnuts roasted by The Nate Meng Show @ 06/02/2003 06:19 PM EST
No luck in the search. Maybe part of a medical unit instead of actually medical personel? Anyway, I'm sure something will turn up.
Chestnuts roasted by FDS @ 06/02/2003 07:00 PM EST
Not to distract from the blinding glory that is B___r (Peace be upon him), but I'm also interested in the other lesser deities that stood beside him on the day of judgment.
Assuming the name Josette d'Ambrosi is uncommon, I believe the creator of the runner-up character design, Netta, may be a graduate of Boston college. Her chorus group took a trip to puerto rico in 98', and she can be seen in the middle of this picture:
http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/svp/st_org/chorale/galleries/gallery_1998_puertorico/pr98-3.jpg
She also acted in the Boston college adaptation of Cabaret the same year:
http://www2.bc.edu/~moffittr/drama/cabaret/cabaret.html
The other names didn't produce very promising search results, but this *may* be her.
Chestnuts roasted by Fearful Photard @ 06/02/2003 08:16 PM EST
Screw Bitner....I'm going after the hot contestant.
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 06/02/2003 08:44 PM EST
She is pretty hot thats for sure, am starting to think this contest propelled the runners up to great things(well, as great as a cheap production of caberet can be considered....)while Nate rested on his Photog laurels...
Beware the claw of the jade monkey!
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 06/02/2003 10:00 PM EST
Tooooooo funny. Josette's a friend of mine through Boston friends. The girl in the photos _is_ her; she's on the lower right in the third "Cabaret" photo, and sitting in the chair on the right in the all-cast photo. And yes, she's a certifiable hottie. :) We've emailed/spoken about the MOTU contest, but I won't quote her until I let her know about this blog, which she'll probably find hilarious.
Chestnuts roasted by BassVox73 @ 06/02/2003 10:33 PM EST
Tooooooo funny. Josette's a friend of mine through Boston friends. The girl in the photos _is_ her; she's on the lower right in the third "Cabaret" photo, and sitting in the chair on the right in the all-cast photo. And yes, she's a certifiable hottie. :) We've emailed/spoken about the MOTU contest, but I won't quote her until I let her know about this blog, which she'll probably find hilarious.
Chestnuts roasted by BassVox73 @ 06/02/2003 10:55 PM EST
This would make a great film...CITIZEN BITNER. As an old man, Nathan Bitner mutters a final word as he dies. A reporter dedicates himself to finding out what the word meant, interviewing Bitner's old friends and acquaintances, and his entire life is told in flashbacks. At the end it's revealed that his dying word is the serial number on the bottom of the Photog prototype's foot, which is seen just as some unknowing Mattel lackey cleaning out an old warehouse tosses into in an incinerator.
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 06/02/2003 11:53 PM EST
Wait wait wait, you saying you know Ms. Hottie, Josette? Who the hell said that was a cheap production of cabaret....does she like military guys?
Man, I am such a manwhore.
As far as citizen bitner, am debating his final word, I would at first think it would be "photog", but if you know what rosebud is really based on I think you'll agree "gemini" is more approriate.
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 06/03/2003 12:47 AM EST
Through some research I have found some more E-mails connected to THE Nathan Bitner. I have E-mailed him using these other addresses and will keep you all informed on any replys.
I also found he can Speak Spanish, so do we have some one who can search Mexico incase he fled the USA after his life went way ward.
I also have an old home addy (possibly his perants house) So a snail mail could be sent to this, or the phone number found for the address. Does some one want to check these out?
He went to Waubonsie Valley High School, IL. Anyone go there?
I am at my limits for some one living in Australia, if you live in Chicago and want to check these leads put your hand up and I will get this info to you, I just don't want to put overly private info out over the net.
Thanks Team.
Greg.
Chestnuts roasted by Tango @ 06/03/2003 01:40 AM EST
Just a little side note;
In Citizen Cain, "Rosebud" was a sled. In real life "Rosebud" was William Randolf Herst's nickname for Marion Davis's va-jay-jay.
(still waiting for my friend to stop jacking of to whtever non-porn he's found on the internet so our club website can be up again!)
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 06/03/2003 03:09 AM EST
some of us had a peek at the beach photo of SOMEONE named Josette d'Ambrosi waaaayyyy back, but wow; so she's OUR Josette huh? It would be pretty damn cool to have yet another runner-up in the globe-spanning coils of our blog.
And yes she is pretty foxy; hell, after more than a week of staring at nothing but pictures of Photog and Nathan Bitner ANYTHING's starting to look appealing
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/03/2003 03:38 AM EST
Photard! Great job! 3 down, 2 to go!!
Here's a photoshop I did of what the create-a-character contest would look like if it were run today:
http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=558135
Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Omega @ 06/03/2003 04:39 AM EST
Re: The production of Cabaret starring Josette d'Ambrosi...
...Jalapeña! Those are some hot pics!
I remember my high school production of Cabaret. It was the first HS musical I've ever seen, and I was too young to handle the girls. In retrospect, I didn't like it that much.
Does Josette have a boyfriend, I wonder?
Chestnuts roasted by Go Knock Jimmy Down @ 06/03/2003 06:11 AM EST
GK Jimmy D she might be single; I suggest we play it real smooth-like in case she posts. like this:
" hey Josette im Photog.
r u m/f?
u got pic?"
(a funny forum-chat joke ha ha)
Thanx Dr. Omega; that was the first time I'd actually been able to see any of the contenders' figures. Huh. Netta really is, like, a uh, a net. Brainwave doesn't actually look that bad. If his torso spins around or he's totin' a water-spitting dragon in a backpack, consider me sold.
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/03/2003 09:28 AM EST
Were all those entries drawn by kids? Cos theyre lll better than anything i can do. or were they done up versions.
Anyway brainwave looks the best, the otehrs seem to have faults that would mean they cant actually do anything, the eyeball cant talk, photog cant talk, the suckerman can be beaten by a carpet. (Go on throw a sticky thing at the carpet and see what happens, its fun, but as matt has taught us many times it breaks) The only otehr good one is the net, but it doesnt seem as strong as brainwave, so overall brainwave wins.
Sorry photog, but brainwave is better, at least you have created nathan bitner for us to talk about photog.wait i got that the wrong way around.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 06/03/2003 10:21 AM EST
There's no way those drawings are from 11-year-old kids. Look at them! They all look like they're drawn by the same person! I was right! This was just a conspiracy by Mattel! Or maybe the kids submitted their drawings then some Mattel slime redrew them for publishing. What's the point of that though? There's something going on that Mattel hasn't let anyone in on, I just know it. Hey, uh. . . . . what's your name that drew Brainwave. . . . did you have your drawing redone by Mattel? Or is that your actual submission?
Chestnuts roasted by Ghost of Vapor @ 06/03/2003 10:53 AM EST
Nettor looks like someone took their Mrs. Potato Head kit and put it on a net. A net. A NET!
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 06/03/2003 11:10 AM EST
Brentlok said: "...photog can't talk"
That seems to be the consensus interpretation of photog, but I disagree. First I'll tell you how I interpret photog, and then I'll demonstrate through the custom photogs how other people seem to see him.
Photog is a robot, who was built by Man-at-arms. He is more of a defensive (meaning he cannot really fight) battle weapon than a fully artificially intelligent man, and does not have full consciousness or free-will. Man-at-arms brings photog to battle and his camera is good for reconnaissance, detection, inspection and the aforementioned ability to drain the powers of the enemies. I do not know how the weakening FP technology works, but it requires the use of the specialized film cartridges seen on his belt. (they are movie reels not picture camera film). FPs shield also acts as a flash-bulb, as well as a plain old light, which can be used practically or defensively (as to blind enemies).
Photog has android intelligence. He follows all instructions from man-at-arms, but has a limited amount of autonomy and basic intelligence as well. He can talk and respond. The camera is coming out of his forehead and is not always used (a waste of film). He processes regular visual information with his two normal eyes seen below the camera. When the camera is not in use, it points upward at a tilted angle also exposing his mouth (seen as a angled mesh panel below his eyes). When the camera lowers for use, it pivots downward and his mouth mostly retracts into his neck, still slightly exposed.
All three custom photogs are here:
1: http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/showthread.php?s=136ec4991ee81de57c181f8a9206b35f&threadid=39855&highlight=photog
2: http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/showthread.php?s=e521e97013de4a840963fdfd3c3d13b6&threadid=51776
3: http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/showthread.php?s=a726a63ae6882e67ebfd32ae2d26ed24&threadid=51991
The 2nd and the 3rd Photog seem to both see photog as a robot (like Faker), or some sort of cyborg, while the first interprets him as a man with a fancy battle helmet. #2 has a weird thin gun for a head, while #3 has a more accurate kind of camera (I think it's the most accurate head, but still way more amateurish than #1), but not with the eyes and stuff that I see. No one even bothers to follow B___r's lead and put something on the belt except for # 3, and he apparently didn't know what they were supposed to be anyway, so made them a sort of blank decoration. #1, unlike the other two, doesn't even bother with a shield. The other two don't do a flashbulb. #2 just has a generic battle shield, but it's still better than #3, who has some sort of weird puffy donut shield. #2 still takes last place b/c it didn't even bother with the chest screen.
Chestnuts roasted by Fearful Photard @ 06/03/2003 11:56 AM EST
Are we not men? Has it come down to this? No way that Bitner has not heard of our little exploration into his life. Some tentacle of ours has made contact, that much is sure. Yet Bitner refuses to acknowledge this experiment in social dynamics. Not that I blame him. The TRUE Masters of the Universe can be very persuasive and one would just as soon handle rattle snakes then to cross them. Illumination can be a tough bitch of a headtrip and I believe Bitner was once on that path. Maybe he has read this and acknowledges it in secret, as a lone poster, meerly a lurker or it could even be rouge? Hummm.....
As this winds down what could the next challenge be? Maybe we could find out who The Residents really are?
No mystery to large,
no conspiracy to deep.
YEAH XE!
Matt your a Mad Scientist of the highest order!
Good times, Good times...
Chestnuts roasted by troubalert @ 06/03/2003 12:00 PM EST
I think Matt should allow Billy "Brainwave" Stafford to post all his pictures and memories of the contest up here on X-E.
What do you work as now Billy? Do all he-man contest winners end up growing up going into the Arts (plays, chorus, video-games, etc)?
Also, any word on Josette yet BassVox73?
Chestnuts roasted by Fearful Photard @ 06/03/2003 12:24 PM EST
"And, is there a lot of this kind of breakdown among serious psych students?"
I'd say so, Kat. I was a psych student myself and sort of self-destructed too, though not nearly as bad. I think it has a lot to do with the subject matter creeping into everything that you do once you start studying it. Two of my friends were psych majors and broke down as well. Once you start studying all these mental problems you start to see them in yourself, regardless if you have them or not. This can cause breakdowns and a severe dislike of the subject. This is probably why a lot of psych majors, myself included, drop out and find a job that in no way relates to your previously chosen field (like Bitner).
I'm in Western KY too, chainsawred. Nice to see the Bluegrass state well represented
Chestnuts roasted by extraordinarymagnitude @ 06/03/2003 01:36 PM EST
I think the principle applies to Philosophy majors as well. (dropped out and moved into Cinema)
But what fields don't have anything to do with Psychology?
And which Bitner? (or did we find the boy conclusively)
Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/03/2003 01:53 PM EST
Illumination can be a tough bitch of a headtrip and I believe Bitner was once on that path. Maybe he has read this and acknowledges it in secret, as a lone poster, meerly a lurker or it could even be rouge? Hummm.....
Well, we don't really know, do we? Muh hoo hoo Ha Ha Ha ;p
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 06/03/2003 03:37 PM EST
I think the most interesting thing is the fact that on it's own, the Photog entry was not really long or in-depth enough to be a full article, but it has spawned all of this.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/03/2003 03:41 PM EST
Oh yeah? Well, the next post is number 666, so good fucking luck with all that.
I'm headed to mexico!
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 06/03/2003 04:21 PM EST
Bitner is his own supestition.
Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/03/2003 04:24 PM EST
and other things spelled wrong.
How very fucking bitner of me.
Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/03/2003 04:26 PM EST
I agree with Fearful Photard. I think we need a full blown Create-a-character reunion special.
Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Omega @ 06/03/2003 05:42 PM EST
Custom Photog #4 is really the best quality so far. Real professional:
http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/showthread.php?s=4bd7ac4c9353a149d15bf0dc0b40f165&threadid=52101
Like custom photog #1, he interprets photog as a man with a hi-tech helmet. He puts the image screen on the shield, and gives him a powerglove that controls the helmet.
Chestnuts roasted by Fearful Photard @ 06/03/2003 05:43 PM EST
Fearful Photard-
Thank you for the review of my Photog (Custom Photog #4) I wanted to do something witha twist and a high tech look.
Chestnuts roasted by Guyver @ 06/03/2003 07:33 PM EST
Photog 4 actually looks kind of cool; THAT looks like someone who would mess you up
It is entirely possible that none of our contact addresses for him worked (make that 'likely' actually) It is also entirely possible to go about one's daily internet activities in ignorant bliss to our movement, if you're like about 85% of people online who just check their (functional) email, look at their CNN, their porn, their stocks, that kind of stuff. And if he's in as deep debt as we suspect, Nathan Bitner probably won't run skipping to check the email addresses we were able to acquire (harassed by crediters?). Unless someone in his unit knows about the blog, or Bitner actually thinks to do a word search on himself, he could be completely oblivious. But there is hope; like I said before, I honestly don't think Bitner is the type who would be silent when he could wow with grandiose weirdness--If he's out there, I think he'll let us know somehow.
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/03/2003 08:06 PM EST
It's been an hour and a half since last post, I got scared so I had to say something...
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 06/03/2003 09:39 PM EST
BREAKTHROUGH! not really, but i hope so! I just downloaded icq cuz I haven't used it in years, and had a strange urge to search there for mr bitner. found a Nathan Bitner, icq # 46263435 w/ a nickname of cortana. I've added him to my list, hasn't been online yet.
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/03/2003 11:28 PM EST
So when do we find out who won the Photog contest?
Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Omega @ 06/03/2003 11:33 PM EST
Now. And it's really good. So, somebody wanna tell me how we're going to define the phrase "That is so... McCabe"?
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 06/04/2003 12:26 AM EST
Josette's work email was cut off a few months ago (chance of jobs) and I don't know her new address; I'm currently plying mutual friends for some info. I'm sorely tempted to post an IM we had almost two years ago about Netta, but I'll feel weird doing so before I get in touch with her first. (Sorry!)
Anyway, yes, the contestants got their share of the money, albeit in smaller amounts put into an interest-bearing account, which upon maturity (i.e. freshman year of college) became $50,000. Of course, by the time the contestants were entering college, $50,000 didn't go nearly as far as it did in 1985.
Chestnuts roasted by BassVox73 @ 06/04/2003 01:17 AM EST
Has anyone tried to do any research on the runners-up in the contest?
Chestnuts roasted by jtcarter @ 06/04/2003 01:28 AM EST
I usually don't care about the messages in the blog, but I made an exception for the Fearless Photog. This story of glory and depravity has intrigued me enough to read pages and pages of interviews, personal accounts and even the Cortana Letters. Yes, the Cortana Letters. If you haven't read these yet I recommend you do so. Not only do they reveal some of Nathan Bitner's personality, but they offer an interesting account of insane fans trying to extrapolate details from the slightest clue. Hmmmmmm, sound like anyone?
Anyway, I want to add to the cause and make several points:
1. Bitner won't know of his fame until he comes back to America. Thus I don't see him responding in the near future.
2. Bitner has a history of grandiosity. In making the Cortana Letters, he used pseudonyms and professed his love of free email services enabling him to change his identity. If he does decide to contact us then he probably won't reveal his identity. Instead, he might feed us information through a character he created. Is Nathan Bitner Tim Wilik, Brainwave, or...someone else?
3. Bitner problems keeping up these ruses. In the two publicity stunts he headed he messed up both of them by eventually forgetting he was playing a character. He will give himself away at some point if he does try to trick us. Look for mythological and astronomical references.
I know I sound like a crazed, paranoid maniac, but that’s what Bitnermania does to you. I signed the petition, I did my part in the blog, now all that's left is the Save Photog T shirt, and I've already got the transfers.
Oh, and no offense meant to Tim or Brainwave, just trying to liven up the blog. Sosa corks his bat. It's late.
Chestnuts roasted by Gordon Shumway Jr. @ 06/04/2003 01:33 AM EST
Well I guess I should have read the whole page before posting. So Josette has kind of been tracked down, and Billy has posted here, what about the others?
Chestnuts roasted by jtcarter @ 06/04/2003 01:48 AM EST
Oh My God, I've spent all day today reading this becoming entrapped in its sheer lunacy, I can not believe all the fame it has achieved and how hunted this Nathan Bitner is... Go figure, It's so Bitner that he is more sought than someone like a terrorist or atleast a cannibal. Bitner is almost, ALMOST the underground hero of our generation. Nyquil, whores, spending cash, running from debt, beer and chicken wings, this guy is the antihero perfect for these failing times. Bitner is the poor bastard alternative to, uhh, the pope. Vive Le Bitner! =)
Chestnuts roasted by Pootie.Tang @ 06/04/2003 02:50 AM EST
I just noticed something. Are the circle things on Photogs belt the film from those Kodak disc camera?
Chestnuts roasted by Robertcop @ 06/04/2003 04:02 AM EST
had to write a haiku in this momentous bitnermania;
Small Peice Of Plastic
Made By A Crazy Red Head
Screw Whores You Pay For
Chestnuts roasted by Pootie.Tang @ 06/04/2003 04:11 AM EST
Okay, but we're still lacking in Asians, Africans and South-Americans... Anyone know people from there to get onto this subject..
Chestnuts roasted by Oeg @ 06/04/2003 06:24 AM EST
It wasnt proveds that bitner and the cortana letters are the same thing. It is very likely but unlike most of teh other stuff it only links with bungie and his ebay account (Which we arnt sure is his). I think he did do them, but we cant say that for sure.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 06/04/2003 06:42 AM EST
Pootie, isn't Bitner magnificent? Although at this point I'd put him more in league with the Loch Ness Monster than anything else. We have a few eyewitness accounts, quite a bit of background info, and even a couple of photos of something; something that may just turn out to be a tree stump or a swimming elk or who knows what. No one's been able to catch it, kill it, or even ICQ it, but there is SOMETHING swimming out there.
Gordon, if you enjoyed the Cortana letters, I think you'll like the suicide posts; just do a google search for Nathan Bitner suicide--there's at least 15 I think. And yes Gordon, you are now a crazed maniac:)
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/04/2003 09:21 AM EST
by "I think you'll like the suicide posts (of Nathan Bitner)", I actually meant "I think you'll initially be kind of freaked and grossed out by the insanity of him trying to be Freud in a manner exclusive to Bitner, yet find yourelf clicking to the next post, and then be kind of sickened with humanity in general afterwards"--"like" was just quicker to type
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/04/2003 09:34 AM EST
Brentlok, Bitner did indeed write the Cortana letters. He fucked up when sending them and that's how the Bungie fan community figured out it was from him. Albeit was a small, easily overlooked mistake, Hammish of bungie.org was all over it. There's just so much information to pull from e-mail headers.
Cortana was/is very very special to Bitner. His next best thing to an alternative personality (I don't mean that in a sick sorta way either). He was very proud of what Cortana had established and had great pains not being able to take her with him when he left Bungie. Island Four would have loved to have her, but instead we came up with Sharon (good luck finding her letters, if you do, post them here).
Gordon Shumway seems a bit familiar, have we met before?
Chestnuts roasted by Tim Wilk @ 06/04/2003 10:17 AM EST
G O R D O N S H U M W A Y J R
7 6 9 4 6 5 1 8 3 4 5 8 7 1 9
83 = 8+3 = 11
N A T H A N E L E R Y B I T N E R
5 1 2 8 1 5 5 3 5 9 7 2 9 2 5 5 9
83 = 8+3 = 11
Chestnuts roasted by Thel @ 06/04/2003 11:25 AM EST
7
Chestnuts roasted by Tim Wilk @ 06/04/2003 11:29 AM EST
Well, Mr. Shumway? What do you have to say for yourself? This seems to be irrefutable proof! (:
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 06/04/2003 11:32 AM EST
Do you think we can petition Mattel for a "Monstard" action figure? That is seriously one of the ten funniest things I have ever seen.
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 06/04/2003 11:34 AM EST
RE: Researching the runners up of the contest.
Yeah, like THEY'RE gonna have as a colourful a life as ol' Bitner.
Chestnuts roasted by RyanB @ 06/04/2003 02:16 PM EST
There has not been a post in a while....and i thought it was about to suddenly sprint forward with the Shumway accusation.
Chestnuts roasted by The Nate Meng Show @ 06/04/2003 02:16 PM EST
Shumway Jr. = the love child of ALF and Kate?
Chestnuts roasted by Rex Hedgehog @ 06/04/2003 02:37 PM EST
Fucking Thel beat me to the punch with the whole "Gordon Shumway is Nathan Bitner" joke.
Damn damn damn damn damn.
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 06/04/2003 02:42 PM EST
Joke?
Primitive.
Chestnuts roasted by Thel @ 06/04/2003 02:54 PM EST
You're all insane
Chestnuts roasted by Nate Bitner @ 06/04/2003 03:09 PM EST
Truer words have never been spoken . . . Nate.
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 06/04/2003 03:25 PM EST
We need the power of the most powerful person on earth. someone needs to send a box of bon bons and a gift certificate for 1 free lipo to Oprah. not only will he show up, but she can make him cry too, and then dr. phil can tell us all the psych stuff we need to know. the cult of oprah must be appeased, she is keeping nathan from us. if i ever met him, i'd pull a schwarzenneger a la "Junior" and have my very own spawn of bitner
Chestnuts roasted by Pootie.Tang @ 06/04/2003 04:14 PM EST
Sorry tim. I missed that, thatnks for correcting my mistake.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 06/04/2003 04:18 PM EST
Woo hoo ! 700+ posts. Can we break 1000 ?
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 06/04/2003 04:27 PM EST
1000 maybe, but more importantly we need to make a lasting tribute to this strange and mysterious creature who is bitner. I saw we make the Photog church of Bitner day saints. its 10 commandments could be; 1) honour thy mother and father, but if you owe them, leave town 2)procure feminine flesh at cost, but don't use them to their predetermined "skills" (as a footnote, make sure they have some weird name, like domino, or aquarius, or any of the backup singers prince used to have). 3) debt is bitnerificent, so get some, as much as you can. 4)worship no false bitners. 5)make sure to hit it really big, then fade into nothingness. 6)ask whenever possible for people to work for you at your place of business that doesn't exist, assure them that their "check is in the mail" 7)don't just rent whores, put them on the payroll as well. 8)give generously to the church of bitner, preferably checks. 9)Never carry cash money, instead, use old checks and bad credit cards, as that is the way to enlightenment. No. 10 isnt written in the Good Book, but will be told to those faithful enough to await his return to greatness, or if you see him at the 7-11, if he refuses to tell it to you, and you know you are of the faith, don't be disillusioned, simply say "that is so bitner", and if he bludgeons you into unconsciousness, the great photog in the sky will write commandment 10 in the stars.
for sacriment (is that what they call it) instead of wine is heineken, and instead of bread, thou shall much cheeto, in remembrance of him.
instead of the virgin mary, it shall be the not so virgin gemini. and last but not least, due to copyright laws the church can not use the term holy trinity, so it shall come to be known as the kinky 3some: bitner, gemini, and photog. go with bitner into the world, my sons=)
Chestnuts roasted by Pootie.Tang @ 06/04/2003 05:16 PM EST
I'm working on a PowerPoint project about The Bit for a computer class. It's turning out pretty cool, anyone have any ideas I should use?
Nathan Bitner rocks
Fearless Photog kicks much ass
Mattel can kiss my ass
Chestnuts roasted by NinJor-X @ 06/04/2003 09:50 PM EST
does the pheonix rise from fallen ashes
Chestnuts roasted by a friend of a friend @ 06/04/2003 10:46 PM EST
just had to jump in quick and say i've been following (and lurking around) this Blog for a while now and it has consumed most of my free time and is my main source of entertainment.
I wish this Blog success in it's endeavours to find Bitner and to reach 1000 posts....
Bitner=More Addictive than caffeine
Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Gugalamanza and some real ugly kid @ 06/04/2003 11:03 PM EST
"anyone have any ideas I should use?"
There's a song on this album I think you should use for the presentation:
http://music.barnesandnoble.com/search/product.asp?userid=2VYX934DMF&ean=731453580022
Chestnuts roasted by Fearful Photard @ 06/04/2003 11:17 PM EST
Yeah this has become one of my main sources of entertainment, well this and any other weird crap I might come upon like: http://newtown.hi-ho.ne.jp/raibo/raidersei/image/agency/cm/mail.swf
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 06/04/2003 11:23 PM EST
"There's a song on this album I think you should use for the presentation" let me guess... Gemini Dream?
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 06/04/2003 11:29 PM EST
"Why do you lurk in the shadows? Are you afraid to be..."
Chestnuts roasted by little prince @ 06/04/2003 11:37 PM EST
Now I have something on the whole hooker/no-sex thing. One of my friends runs an escort service. But in her service its strictly nude massages/hanging out, etc type of stuff. No sex! In fact if one of the girls does have sex with a customer, she is fired. It could be that Bitner was either wanting company or nude massages instead of the sex. That's just my 2 cents.
Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken @ 06/05/2003 12:08 AM EST
Posting in binary. That's just so... you know.
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 06/05/2003 12:16 AM EST
Good call, Spiffy. Evidently, Bitner couldn't even manage to find a competent pimp!
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 06/05/2003 12:20 AM EST
Tornado, your link is some effed up shit. I was laughing my ass off.
Back to the one that is Bitner, I noticed there hasnt been a breakthrough in a while soooooo.....
Im having Nathan Bitners illegitimate love child. Yes, thats right, you read correctly. I am having his baby, you can read my story on the next Star or National Enquirer.
Thats when you know you made it.
If you would like to question my story in anyway I will be sure to keep all answers as vague as possible and circle around anything definate, like any good person in office.
Thank you for your time.
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 06/05/2003 07:46 AM EST
Awwwwww! a baby Bitner! That will be so Bitnerific! Congrats Tessie! You whore of the Bitner machine.
Chestnuts roasted by Baby Bitnerific! @ 06/05/2003 09:09 AM EST
Traxus, you ass. How am i supposed to read this thread on my mac IE 5.1 now? I have to side scroll for six minutes just to get to the name on the comment. You are truly the Bitner to my Wilk.
Chestnuts roasted by Gad Dammit @ 06/05/2003 10:14 AM EST
"Posting in binary. That's just so... you know"
Yeah, but he'd get it, very clever traxus, too bad you had to do it twice.
Chestnuts roasted by Tim Wilk @ 06/05/2003 10:15 AM EST
Oh, what to do??? On the next blog update, this one is slated to move into the archival abyss. Will the world survive?
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/05/2003 10:19 AM EST
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! MATT, don't do it!!!
Chestnuts roasted by NinJor-X @ 06/05/2003 10:58 AM EST
OH God, No. No. No. No. NO. Dear Jesus, No. Matt, please say you won't. The man will come, just give it more time. If not here than nowhere!
...more ...time
Chestnuts roasted by Fearful Photard @ 06/05/2003 11:07 AM EST
Please MATT, recognise this blog isnt dead...
Keep the bitnerific Fate alive.....
I beg you!!
Chestnuts roasted by Oeg @ 06/05/2003 11:34 AM EST
Please, Matt keep it alive! I need to find my babys daddy!!!
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 06/05/2003 12:00 PM EST
You know, I was gonna comment, but I don't want to touch that last onw with a 30ft pole.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 06/05/2003 12:10 PM EST
Don't shut it down now Matt! This is a new piece of the puzzle. Bitner is now a delinquent dad! We now have to find him so he can take responsability for his night (minute ?) of passion with Tessie!
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 06/05/2003 01:32 PM EST
Here's a thought Matt, you could easily just put up a little Bitner button and then I wouldn't mind where the page goes...
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 06/05/2003 01:37 PM EST
The neighbor's dogs just had puppies! Yay!
And I swear to god, if you remove this blog, I will dropkick the ever living shit out of all of them.
You don't want puppy blood on your hands, do you Matt?
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 06/05/2003 01:53 PM EST
I'd like to put in my two cents on this whole flushing Bitner into the the depths of archival hell. I don't read blogs. Ever. Its not that i don't respect what you do, its just its not my speed. I like pornography. Maybe I'd read a porn blog. That's beside the point. What is the point is that as a result of this thread I have while waiting for new updates to this mystery started reading everything on your site. EVERYTHING. Every review, every adventure, every item that has the acronym M.U.S.C.L.E.s in it. Through this thread you now have a dedicated reader who will stick around long after Bitner shows up and tells us all to fuck off and enacts the worlds first class-action restraining order. Please don't let this die. That's all. Much love whatever you decide to do Matt.
Chestnuts roasted by Vijilanti Juztiss @ 06/05/2003 01:54 PM EST
For the love of Bitner....do not get rid of this entry. DO NOT. FOR THE LOVE OF BITNER.
Bitner is the man
baby Photog's on the way
Hope springs eternal
Chestnuts roasted by Cyn @ 06/05/2003 02:05 PM EST
For what its worth, if Matt's putting up a page like the Wuzzle Contest responses then they'll certainly be a link to this. I'm not to worried about it.
Anyone thought of summarizing this little adventure?
Like what we know and what we don't?
And anyone know any Mattel exec names to hunt after...I'm sure its been tried but I might have missed the line of logic if it was mentioned earlier.
Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/05/2003 02:28 PM EST
How can you get rid of this blog? Are you upset because it gets more replies in a day than some of these blogs got in their whole run? I hope you sleep well knowing you made Ed dropkick those puppies...
Puppy blood is on your hands!
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 06/05/2003 02:41 PM EST
"Here's a thought Matt, you could easily just put up a little Bitner button and then I wouldn't mind where the page goes..." -Tornado
Exactly, that's all we need to keep it going. Also, about 100 or so posts up, there is a recap of everything we know, not much has come to light since then....i think it's Ed Franklin who posted it.
P.S. Is the Carl's Jr. add driving anyone else as crazy as me?
Chestnuts roasted by The Nate Meng Show @ 06/05/2003 02:48 PM EST
I just realized something, me having his baby wont make him post on here.....If anything it will make hime stay far far away, or run (he is good at that). So, I retract my statement.
I am baby free and so is he.
Oh well, I will think of something better next time.
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 06/05/2003 03:10 PM EST
We can still post on the blog once it's in the archives, can't we?
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 06/05/2003 03:45 PM EST
Maybe you could be a hooker that pays him not to have sex, then you'd satisfy two needs.
Chestnuts roasted by Tim Wilk @ 06/05/2003 03:56 PM EST
Ok, scratch that. T thought the blog itself got archived. We gotta do something to save this!
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 06/05/2003 03:56 PM EST
The following are shows I thought of that might be interested in Photog.
Egg
egg@thirteen.org
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/egg/find.html
There are two shows on MTV.
Big Urban Myth:
http://www.mtv.com/onair/big_urban_myth/
Twisted:
I could not find a link since this is a new show but the episode I watched was a documentary about the first Jewish Playmate and the guy who sold his life and belongings on the internet as perfomance art(http://www.allmylifeforsale.com).
Jimmy Kimmel is the best chance for a talk show to mention Photog since he has already had other various internet people on like angrynakedpat.com's Andy Milonakis
http://www.abc.abcnews.go.com/primetime/jimmykimmel/senditin.html
I found the rest of the talk shows at:
http://www.interbridge.com/lineups.html#JKL
Late Show with David Letterman:
http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/ Click on "Show Info," then "E-Mail Us."
Tonight Show with Jay Leno: No public e-mail address; write to Tonight Show with Jay Leno, 3000 W. Alameda Ave., Burbank, CA 91523
Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn: Link to the E-Mail Craig Kilborn page http://www.cbs.com/latenight/latelate/email.shtml
Late Night with Conan O'Brien: funnyontv@aol.com
write to Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 30 Rockefeller Plaza, New York, NY 10112
Last Call with Carson Daly: lastcall@nbc.com
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart: thedailyshow@comedycentral.com
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/05/2003 06:53 PM EST
Hmm, maybe if an illegitimate love child won't draw him out, we can appeal to his conscience.
Nathan Bitner, I am your long lost twin brother (who's half Korean, and never been to Illinois), but that's beside the point. And I am dying. I have a rare condition that can only be cured with a hair transplant from a genetic match...AND YOU ARE THE ONLY MATCH!
Save me Nathan Bitner...you are my only hope...
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 06/05/2003 07:21 PM EST
A powerful move ME; we will not go silently into the night! And pleeease Matt; we have all created something much bigger and more powerful than any of us; if there is to be closure it must come properly, Bitner must tell us to fuck off with his own type. People, whatever happens, FOR GOD'S SAKE PLEASE PUT DOWN THAT NYQUIL!!
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/05/2003 07:22 PM EST
Matt you have to admit that this has changed XE, and thus deserves to carry itself out until it really dies, not the arbitrary dismissal into archive hell. I would never second guess you nor ever demand anything from you, but somehow this has to go to fruition. Whatever you deem I will respect.
Just think about those puppies, though. Poor little guys:(
Chestnuts roasted by troubalert @ 06/05/2003 08:22 PM EST
To borrow from Dylan Thomas..
Do not go gentle into that deep fog!
Rage! Rage! against the dying of the Blog!
Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Omega @ 06/05/2003 08:27 PM EST
Even if this does get archived without a button, the phenomenon will live on. I write for University of Florida's humor magazine, and will try to do an article on this. Also, perhaps a message board or something can go up on SavePhotog.TK.
Chestnuts roasted by Gordon Shumway Jr. @ 06/05/2003 09:16 PM EST
Let's hope this isn't the last night on the monumental Photog blog, but if it is just remember that there's a little bit of Bitner living in all of us, and because of that Bitnermania will never die! Keep in mind those wise words from Journey, the greatest musical geniuses of our time and "Don't Stop Believin'"!
Chestnuts roasted by Goggles Pizano @ 06/05/2003 09:52 PM EST
Rage against the dying of the light, sweet blog.
Yes yes, no one ever thinks about the puppies do they?
U of Florida huh...Nice move hiring Ron Zook...Haw haw.
All I can say in closing is "Give me the good thing Ram man"
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 06/05/2003 10:16 PM EST
If this gets archived, I WILL kill myself!
And the puppies, won't someone PLEASE think of the puppies?!?!
Chestnuts roasted by Esq. @ 06/05/2003 10:16 PM EST
Thank you Esq. for thinking of the puppies...
Oh and this thought just came to me, I don't know why...if this blog gets archived...Rage. Power. Freedom. On June 20th, I'll let it out all out.
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 06/05/2003 10:21 PM EST
GOD DAMN IT, MATT!!!!
How could you do this to us? How could you turn upon your faithful? How could you turn upon the ones that dutifully read every article? How could you turn upon the ones that feel real joy with every new movie review? Every new Blog entry? Every new obsession with a small portion of our shared lost childhoods?
How could you do this to those poor, cute, defenseless puppies?
We will find him.....We have built it, he will come. But only if you do not destroy it.
Some of us sitting out here in cyberland don't have much, Matt. We work crappy little jobs with people we hate for people who look at us like something they've just scraped off the borrom of their shoes. We could home to our empty, meaningless, desolate lives looking for that one little spark...That one little flame that we feel we need to warm our cold barren souls enough to make it through to the next day.
And for many of us, we find it in only two places:
1) Internet porn featuring rodeo clowns and midget mimes.
2) The Bitnerblog.
The former is far too hard to come by outside of my own personal collection, but the latter...It's here, and it's perfect.
Save the Bitnerblog, Matthew. For us. For mankind.
For Ed's neighbor's puppies.
Chestnuts roasted by Karmic Crimewave @ 06/05/2003 10:38 PM EST
Posting again because I want to show my support :( I think we should get a Bitner button..really, it's getting terrible. Girls ask me if I want to have sex with them and I'm like 'NO! MUST GO AND CHECK BITNER BLOG.'
Chestnuts roasted by JRockBishi @ 06/05/2003 10:51 PM EST
Bitner, where are you?! Come back from your self-imposed desert exile. Can't you understand that we need you?
Chestnuts roasted by Jason Sullivan @ 06/06/2003 12:07 AM EST
If Bitner ever finds this Blog, and posts on it, it will be perhaps the greatest thing ever to happen on the internet. Anyone who has read this far will agree. Keep the dream alive, people of X-E...
Chestnuts roasted by chainsawred @ 06/06/2003 01:22 AM EST
Just wanted to leave a few words on the man, the myth, the legend, the creator of PHOTOG...Nathan Bitner. He is a man who has changed our very way of thinking, of behaving! He has caused us to lose sleep, to skip meals, to cause us to cease contact with our loved ones, and increased our time on the internet. This blog, chronicling the mystery that is Bitner...it has overpowered me, as well, drawing out a lurker from his natural habitat. I long to find Bitner, to understand his humble beginnings, and to see him as he is now. I have the sudden urge to go to his home town and take a video camera with me, talking to all who will listen to me, to see if they have anything to share about Bitner. Perhaps I could even find his parents - perhaps they have that "He-Man of the Issue" page framed above their mantle, and reminisce of the days before their child fell into the state he is now...it would be facinating. I must go find them. And then...find Bitner. Perhaps I could sneek across the oceans as a stowaway, and find his unit, and tell him of the impact he's made! Perhaps I shall...
Also to note: when he does return home, he may be missing for a little while longer. From what I've heard, there's some brothel that's having a special for all returning servicemen - free time with one of their ladies. Perhaps Nathan will go on a search for another Gemini?
Oh Nathan Bitner
Man of a thousand ideas
Where has Photog gone?
Chestnuts roasted by David The Lurker @ 06/06/2003 02:37 AM EST
Okay okay you've broken me. I'll see if there's a way to keep this one up while letting other entries slip into the archives.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/06/2003 02:40 AM EST
YAAAAAYYYY MATT!!!
My firstborn will be named after you; if it's a girl, eh, guess I'll call it Nathan
Friends, Romans, countrymen, bloggers,
let's go get some Bitner
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/06/2003 03:49 AM EST
Too late, I already kicked one puppy.
And yes, I do feel like a big man, and no, I will most definitely NOT pick on someone my own size, thank you.
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 06/06/2003 04:58 AM EST
I feel privileged (and very tired) to have stumbled upon this. I'm a faithful X-E visitor, and I can't believe I never discovered this Bitnerama until 6/6/03 12:30am Los Angeles time. It's now 4:15am, I've read all the posts, read all the links, and looked at all the pictures. This is beyond fascinating. I am truly amazed that this has evolved in the way that it has.
To Matt, I say BRAVO. Other than my email account, X-Entertainment is the only "must check" site.
To All Who Have Posted So Far, I say WOW. I haven't been so compelled to read SO MUCH in my life. Great research and comments.
I have been reading for hours...fighting the urge to scroll down to the bottom...hoping that Bitner would eventually post a comment. Hopefully he will soon...
Sincerely,
Economy Gorilla
(feet and hands not included)
Chestnuts roasted by Economy Gorilla @ 06/06/2003 07:14 AM EST
My heart skips a beat, I am tingling with excitement, warmth ruches through my body......Quivering. Woohoo!!!! Matt is letting us keep the blog entry longer!!!!!!
I am so excited!
Thank you! Thank you!
Too bad about the puppy though....
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 06/06/2003 07:40 AM EST
OK Bitnerites, I've been doing some serious thinking, and I've reached some important conclusions. And you are the only ones who will understand.
Last night it occurred to me that, in theory, we could procure a TIME MACHINE (Matt probably has one in his parents' garage), go back in time to 1986 and pressure the Mattel heavies into making Photog when they promised to, and thus averting an injustice before it occured. I was worried about this plan, because it would undoubtedly lead to a temporal paradox: of course, if the Bitnerites reverse the crime that made them Bitnerites before it even happens, then of course the Bitnerites would never have existed, Matt would have probably written a regular MOTU article on Photog, and so on and so on.
And so I got discouraged with the idea, knowing that mo' time travel only meant mo' problems. But then I realized my error: TIME TRAVELERS MUST HAVE ALREADY INTERFERED WITH NATHAN BITNER'S LIFE.
Think about it. Why didn't they just make the damn toy? It doesn't make sense. Unless the making of Photog lead to a maniacal obsession for the preteen Bitner, who grew up to seize control and conquer the Earth in his perverted puzzle-doing empire in 2002. A clever analyst from an alternate version of our own time which no longer exists - perhaps even Photog himself - must have realized that Nathan's turning point was the MOTU contest, and decided to go back to 1986 and stop Mattel from making the Photog figure. Thus, Nathan was cast into aimlessness and despair, and while one man was ruined and one Tim Wilk was pissed off, the world was saved.
But that's not the whole story, my friends. The time-traveling Photog must have known that only in this timeline would Bitner's redemption be possible. How could he be redeemed? By the efforts of a crusading band of dedicated internet spooks, catalyzed by the mysterious Matt, who would bring Photog to his rightful destiny, but ony when Nathan Bitner was finally spiritually mature enough to endure success.
Therefore, it is my inevitable conclusion that the only way for Bitner to find redemption in the entire spectrum of the space-time continuum is through THIS BLOG. Photog works in mysterious ways.
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 06/06/2003 09:02 AM EST
Let's remember the puppy, when we think of bitner. It's sad it became a casualty but every war has it's own casualties...
Matt rules...
Chestnuts roasted by Oeg @ 06/06/2003 09:07 AM EST
speaking of puppies......i got a new puppy this weekend......and i _almost_ named it.....bitner.........then i decided that would just be way too weird.
Chestnuts roasted by neko @ 06/06/2003 10:15 AM EST
That's a pretty strange theory Horatio.....i'm inclined to agree.
Chestnuts roasted by The Nate Meng Show @ 06/06/2003 11:34 AM EST
This is a creation of a most unique sub-geek culture.
I wonder how Matt found out about Photog...why did it get brought up now?
Oh and I hope to use photog (or a variant of him) as in a professional logo if I can, so methinks naming a puppy after him is less crazy than it sounds.
Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/06/2003 11:47 AM EST
As long as no erotic fan-fiction is written to accompany it, I don't think naming a puppy after Bitner is weird. Besides, if it is, we can just time travel back and rename it.
Chestnuts roasted by Rex Hedgehog @ 06/06/2003 12:27 PM EST
I named this cat that hangs around my house "Photog"
And interesting time travel discussion, sounds like it would make a good movie.
Someone should make a Nathan Bitner movie trilogy.
One about his life as we can guess.
One about the time travel stuff.
One where Photog speaks to Bitner alah Tyler Durden in Fight club and makes Bitner go crazy.
I'd buy the box sex
Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken @ 06/06/2003 12:34 PM EST
or the box set even.
Damn my cardboard fetish
Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken @ 06/06/2003 12:35 PM EST
Who should be cast as Bitner in the made for TV movie? What about Gemini? Van Damme could be the guy in the Photog suit that Mattel sends on public appearances like Car Wash Grand Openings and Dragoncon.
Chestnuts roasted by Rex Hedgehog @ 06/06/2003 12:41 PM EST
Anyone plotting Halloween costumes or is that bit too much Bitnermania?
As far as the movie I think we could just combine aspects of Run Lola Run with Donnie Darko:
Photo speaks to Bitner like Frank the Bunny (see time travel reference/revelance)...The film picks up on the random facts we know about the many Nathan Bitners as what if's like in Lola. Then Photog says No, and it all starts over again.
Bitner in War, selling crack, designing Halo, changing his name to Matt inducing his own geek fandom, etc.
Or Hell it could be Vonnegut style:
Nathan Bitner, unstuck in Time.
:sigh:
I still say we find someone in Napersville and officially track the boy down. Or call up Mattel and say we'd like to hire the designer of one of their unused designs, pretend we're some company or what-not. With the way paperwork gets updated, etc it might confuse them and we'd at least find out "something." Even if it means getting the name or names of the old MOTU designers.
Just ranting.
Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/06/2003 01:09 PM EST
Thank you Matt for extending the blog. May the many blessings of Photog be upon you.
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 06/06/2003 01:36 PM EST
I think Napersville, Il will become my new mecca. Anyone up for a pilgramage?
Chestnuts roasted by Spiffy McKracken @ 06/06/2003 01:59 PM EST
I wonder if Bitner is the black sheep of Naperville. When he's mentioned to someone, they curtly respond "ain't no one by that name around here." and then briskly walk away. The Bitner movie could simply be an extended episode of "In Search of". We could bring back Lenoard Nemoy, who can resist answering whatever questions he has to ask?
Also, on a less positive note, depending on how long it's been since Bitner was back there, and whether or not he still has family there, it may be hard to find anyone who knows about him. Although seemingly unheard of, Naperville is considered part of Chicago, and is interchangeable with any number of Suburbs in that area. People move, change schools....etc.
Chestnuts roasted by The Nate Meng Show @ 06/06/2003 02:28 PM EST
I think I figured it out. I figured out the whole enire mystery. I know how Nathan created Photog. I know where he disappeared too during 1993-1997. I know where he is now. You see this is what happened. Way back in 1986 a young Nathan Bitner was sleeping lazily in his room when his phone rang. He answered and a strange voice said "Wake up Nathan" Nathan abrubtly hung up thinking it was the kid he owed a mint Moss-Man too. But there was a smash, and a strange character was standing in the now broken window. A strange Character wearing a trench-coat, dark sunglasses and HAD A CAMERA FOR A HEAD!!!! He revealed himself to be the mysterious Fearless Photog he told Bitner all about his home of Zion and that Nathan would be the one to save the earth from the evil machine menace in the future. He offered Nathan a choice. Take the blue pill and go back to sleep thinking it was all a dream, or take the red pill and see how far the rabbit hole goes, or some shit. So Nathan being the bitner he is took the blue pill and went back to sleep with the passing comment "Camera head? dumbest idea I ever heard." So anyway Nathan continued on his path of glory when the MOTU create-a-character came to his attention. He knew he had to pay off his debt of a mint moss-man, so he did the first thing he could think of. A few monthes later word came that Nathans "creation" had won the ill fated contest. Photog was never created, but life went on. Until 1993!!! Photog returned to Nathan and warned him that a dude named Tim would create a evil robot race and overthrow Earth in the yeah 2005. The only way to stop him was for Bitner to travel to the future and train and become the on man that could stop the mysterious Tim. Bitner agreed and traveled to the future to learn the ways of the basterd and obtain the technology to create the Fearless Photog. Eventually Nathan returned until to the present and contiued his life, atteneding college and meeting hookers. Then the fateful day came. He met Tim. Telling Tim that he was creating his own video game company, Bitner tricked him and grabbed ahold so that he could drag him down into a pit of debt and anger. All was going according to plan, Bitner was almost done creating Photog and Tim was almost destroyed. But it all went horrably wrong. Tim found out about Nathans plans, and sent evil Iraqi robot ninjas to finnaly destroy the pest. Bittner was too smart for that though. After single handedly destroying three of the ninjas, he completed Photog and togther they went to Iraq to destroy the evil iraqi robot ninja program, and to hopefully return, to complete his mission.
The End
Chestnuts roasted by NinJor-X @ 06/06/2003 02:38 PM EST
I'm sorry, I have the day off and porn got boring.
Chestnuts roasted by NinJor-X @ 06/06/2003 02:39 PM EST
There is no Photog...
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 06/06/2003 03:01 PM EST
only Zool?
Chestnuts roasted by Child-Like Mentality @ 06/06/2003 03:36 PM EST
AWESOME post, Horatio.
Thanks for extending the blog and saving at least some of the puppies. ^_^
Here's to the lurkers and shirkers, the bloggers and the Photoggers, the call girl and the small world. Cause it's a small world, after all!
Sorry. Going to Disneyland tomorrow for my b-day and it's leeching in. I'll keep my eye out for signs of Nathan's infamous visit.
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/06/2003 03:45 PM EST
I just emailed all the tv shows posted above and I think we all should! Let them know we want Bitner! I think we might have a shot with the Daily Show.
Chestnuts roasted by random loser @ 06/06/2003 04:24 PM EST
We need to get Mo Rocca to do the interview.
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 06/06/2003 05:18 PM EST
I wish I was going to Disneyland for MY birthday. Damns you all!
Just to do a little petition updating:
257 total signatures!
At the end of June I will be sending an email and a hard copy of the signature list to Mattel. If we find a definitive email for Bitner, one will go there, too.
If we want to do the talk show thing, I highly suggest we wait for Mattel's response. But, if we really want to get the ball rolling, I'll send the petition off as soon as we hit 300 signatures.
Tell me what you guys would rather do.
If you don't, well, there are plenty of puppies in the world to dropkick. Not to mention kittens.
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 06/06/2003 05:19 PM EST
Kudos Matt. Your generosity helps dissprove the "Matt-el" theory.
Here's a TV show that really might take an intrest in our litte phenom. Unscrewed on Tech TV. It's all bout the wacky, obseeive, and insane on the net and tech. If we're gonna get on any TV show this is the one. If we all email them they might take an interest / get annoyed enough to do a segment. Here's the site:
http://www.techtv.com/unscrewed
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 06/06/2003 05:21 PM EST
I vote for waiting till the end of June. The more signatures we can get the better. If we do get on the talk show circut we'll have tons of sigs, so that's something to consider. The only prob with that is it'll give Mattel more of a heads up on what's coming.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 06/06/2003 05:26 PM EST
About the Petition:
Where/How can I download a form to just hand out/get people to sign?
Seriously I could double if not triple that number if I just walked around campus and the town with a save Photog petition in my hand. Then just tack on what I got. Sort of the old way to go about it but its more signatures...
I think if I just emailed everyone with a petition i'd just piss people off and only get a few.
Thoughts anyone.
Three hundred is a lot, but I was thinking at least a 1000 or so....even if we have to get children and our pets to sign the damn thing.
Oh and whose saying Mattel will resond?
I think we should come up with a dummy corp and offer to produce and distribute a Photog-based item. Before or After the petition sends in will affect the results. If we send in the request/inquiry first then the petition they might think there's a toy company out there that's got better target demographic info and just make the damn thing.
Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/06/2003 06:12 PM EST
oh and Spiffy McKraken (whose holy True name shall not be mentioned)
I'm up for the voyage to Napersville for research. Hell I'll take my digital camera and at least find what we THINK is house.
So anyone for a Bitner convention?
If we really want to make this a story besides google searches it may need the valor necessary to leave the electronic realm. I mean besides that has anyone found any evidence outside the net?
Infiltrating Mattel, hunting down city records, I'm all for this thing if it can be done.
Chestnuts roasted by OhgodtheRats @ 06/06/2003 06:19 PM EST
if u really want to get Mattel's attention, send a decapitated horse's head to their head office via UPS with the message "We know what you did to Bitner, we want Photog!" stapled between it's eyes.
Mafia style, oh yeah!!
Chestnuts roasted by big fat pauly @ 06/06/2003 06:20 PM EST
Is Mattel even owned by the same super-corp still?
I remember there being a Pepsi Barbie at one point so...
:P
she was delicious and only one calorie.
Chestnuts roasted by Child-Like Mentality @ 06/06/2003 06:21 PM EST
Ya know if Mattel won't make Photog, then the rights to him may be obtainable for a small price.
Chestnuts roasted by Gozer @ 06/06/2003 08:18 PM EST
Much thanks to Matt for keeping this madness alive.
Chestnuts roasted by Goggles Pizano @ 06/06/2003 08:28 PM EST
That would be keen. Hey Bitner you sell-out Look who we have...and he's pissed!
Chestnuts roasted by Ohgodtherats @ 06/07/2003 08:09 AM EST
long live the blog until the mystery is solved!
Chestnuts roasted by pogocorpse @ 06/07/2003 11:50 AM EST
How ironic that once matt decides to keep this up, everyone stops posting..
Chestnuts roasted by JRockBishi @ 06/07/2003 12:41 PM EST
Meh, it's the weekend...less blogging, more frisbee-ing.
Chestnuts roasted by Ed Franklin @ 06/07/2003 01:00 PM EST
Last night I had a dream and in that dream Nathan Bitner came into my world and showed me the secret path of the ninja whilst wearing FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper's badge. I am taking this as a sign that maybe Nathan is part of a shadowy government beaureu with links to the underworld.
Chestnuts roasted by Zbornak @ 06/07/2003 04:52 PM EST
go to naiperville, find the bitner, the universe will be whole once more, like fat daddy with his hands in his pants, all will be well with the world...
bitner is hiding
he owes people some money
where the fuck is nate
Chestnuts roasted by Pootie.Tang @ 06/07/2003 05:10 PM EST
I second the meh sentiment, I had duty until 5 in the AM, so if I missed my daily Bitner post, forgive me...
I just know each day isn't complete until I wait for the eternity for this huge ass blog to open and see these words staring at me...
Those....bastards.
If I won that contest, and no figure was produced...
I would be drowning my sorrows in a bar asking everyone if they remember me.
Posted by Ed Franklin @ 05/21/2003 01:43 AM EST
So everyday I am already fighting the subconscious desire to consider everyone bastards and go to bar to drown my sorrows...Thanks for fucking with my mind Ed, I think I will join you in dropkicking puppies.
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 06/07/2003 05:45 PM EST
There may be no copyright to infringe on if we wanted to produce Photog stuff. I doubt Matthell would even bother. But what the hell do I know ...
BITNER WHERE ARE YOU?
When I am walking down the street I am constantly looking at people faces trying to figure out if they could be Bitner, maybe even Bitner in disguise. This has to stop, Bitner must show himself soon or I am afraid of what could happen. I might try to start pulling wigs and fake mustaches off folks. Because everyone is wearing one...
Oh lord, this has to end...
BITNER...?
Chestnuts roasted by troubalert @ 06/07/2003 07:48 PM EST
actually found the bottom of this insane freaking thread, and am terribly depressed that it wasn't Word from The Bit. Nathan, come home.......
Chestnuts roasted by superbiate @ 06/07/2003 07:51 PM EST
Quoting OhGodtheRats from 6/6/03: "I wonder how Matt found out about Photog...why did it get brought up now?"
Oh, that's an easy one. Didn't you know? MATT KNOWS EVERYTHING. Er, at least everything that happened between 1980 and 1989 involving toys, candy, and TV. So, not quite everything. But Photog qualifies.
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 06/07/2003 09:20 PM EST
Someone called for a recap of what we know and what we don't; and since we know what we already know (just scroll up for as long as you can endure), here's a basic rundown of what we don't know!
-The details of Photog's no-show in 1986
-Whether Bitner drew Photog voluntarily, as an art assignment, or as part of his MKULTRA reprogrammng
-Whether or not Photog could beat SnoutSpout or Mossman in a fight
-Why pro-wrestler El Diablo Silverado was confused for Bitner
-Whether it's actually possible to commit suicide with Nyquil
-Who on earth Heather Ramage is
-Where in the combat zone Bitner is right now
-Where Bitner was and what he was doing between his last post of '97 and his first in '99
-If Bitner holds a degree from either U. of Chicago or Chapel Hill
-Just what the hell Bitner was ON all that time
-If Bitner is at all aware of us
-The loathesome details of Bitner and Gemini's little arrangement
-Whether Tim will ever get his $600 back from Bitner
-Who Bitner would rather sleep next to (but no sex!), Gemini or Andrea Corr
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/07/2003 10:15 PM EST
So many mysteries, so many people with nothing better to do. Go to it, Bitnerites!
Dude, Photog could so kick Moss Man's and Snout Spout's asses, even if he does have a beer gut now. Hey, if Photog has a beer gut, think how shitty Moss Man must be looking these days!
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 06/07/2003 11:57 PM EST
For God's sakes, Leave the puppies alone!!! They have nothing to do with this.
(BTW the link is working now, though there is less stuff on the site now, because the fore mentioned lazy punk addz din't get the shite to the new web master!)
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 06/08/2003 12:53 AM EST
Oh wow.
I'm in high-school and take a Creative Writing Class. This week, I wrote a paper about Bitnermania. It's sort of a biography of Nathan, and I used this page as a reference. From Photog to the suicide posts to Gemini, I left no information out.
Does this make me crazy, or just borderline?
Oh well...at least I got an "A", as well as a few blank stares from fellow students when I tried to explain the wonder that is Bitner.
Go figure.
Chestnuts roasted by Denise @ 06/08/2003 01:02 AM EST
I did a trademark search:
http://tess2.uspto.gov/bin/gate.exe?f=tess&state=85f1ag.1.1
and Fearless Photog was not found, so I don't think Mattel owns the rights anymore..
Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Omega @ 06/08/2003 05:49 AM EST
Found this googling, and haven't heard any of this info before so I thought I would post it:
http://216.239.39.100/search?q=cache:aTUlBGTC01oJ:marathon.bungie.org/story/halo_oct-dec99.html+fearless+photog&hl=en&ie=UTF-8
This page mentions:
"Dec 1, 1999 (Wednesday)
According to a forum post at halo.bungie.org Nathan Bitner has announced his engagement. The Story page wishes Nathan and his fiance Misti the very best for the future." Misti was apparently before Gemini?
Chestnuts roasted by Dr. Omega @ 06/08/2003 06:01 AM EST
800??
I hoped we'd have 1000 by now..
Isn't there anyone who lives in the vicinity of Naperville Ill. I don't, I live across the ocean...
And we're still lacking in Asians, Africans and South Americans...
Can't we fix that???
Chestnuts roasted by Oeg @ 06/08/2003 09:41 AM EST
Israel here. Not quite Asia, but you know, close.
Chestnuts roasted by SMFFofTS @ 06/08/2003 10:37 AM EST
post #801,let's keep 'em rolling!
Chestnuts roasted by pogocorpse @ 06/08/2003 10:39 AM EST
MISTI??? Who the fuck is Misti, why have we never heard of her, and why doesn't she read X-E? This could be big. I mean, imagine, a woman who at one time was prepared to marry Bitner (other than Tessie, of course). Just think of the implications.
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 06/08/2003 01:48 PM EST
I thought Isreal was in asia? or does it count as europe? damn geography. Well it's obvious that to bring intrest back here, we need something shocking, some new news.
I purpose we number off. odd numbers focus efforts here in the us, contacting possible firends/family/enemy's/dentists. even's focus overseas. look for military connections, contacts, reports, and whatnoe. I'll be #1
Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 06/08/2003 01:48 PM EST
Denise, that's awesome! I got blank stares all the time in high school. You might want to send your Bitner paper to submissions@cerebralcatalyst.com. I don't know if our editor will let us print it, but I'd like to read it...
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 06/08/2003 01:53 PM EST
Excellent work Dr Omega! Ok, we have a lot of new info, though most of it leads to more questions that answers.
Ok, here's Bitner's actual post:
Posted By: Nathan Date: 12/1/99 3:21 a.m.
... for my long absence, but I plan on returning to the boards shortly (for those who care), mostly now as an observer - just as you are. Matt has done so well in my absence that I didn't feel I needed to really be here ... and have gotten other part of my life in order.
I am now engaged (Jun 9th is the wedding) to a beautiful North Carolinian named Misti. I am also returning to school in a month, hopefully for a Masters/PhD program. I will catch up as soon as possible, but I'm glad to see that much of the discussion has turned positive - as far as oaths are concerned and such ;).
hey - anyone see those new screenshots? ;) ;) if trees are the "holy grail" of 3d gaming, I'd say it's solved - the non-placeholder ones look incredible!! :) :) :)
Nathan
Intern
Chicago Board of Trade Clearing Corporation
(for one and a half months anyway :)
So Nathan meets Misti, gets engaged, and decides to move to North Carolina and continue school there. But a later post hints at problems for the happy couple:
"Posted By: Nathan E. Bitner Date: 9/6/00 8:34 a.m.
In Response To: 1st/3rd person..? ;0) hi Nathan (Shataan)
God, it's going to be a long night of Whiskey and Bailey's, while watching snow on the television. Again. :)
And I intend on personally disembowelling whoever thought up that idiotic purple bonzi gorilla. I'd rather have Barney on my screen or anything that will SHUT THE HELL UP. Fortunately, it has been "recycled" - I just hate to think into what. I'll need a Mac just for the damn trash can.
Maybe I can get a cute bartendress to drive me home - or at least drop me off on the roadside 50 miles away from my house. I like waking up on the pavement, having no idea where I live.
Oh, and I'm sorry to announce that I remain engaged and not married. (It could be that pavement thing). And even that's pushing it (as I cross my fingers that she's not reading these forums ;). School went well - I am working toward the M.A. in Psychology currently but plan to attend graduate school for the M.A. in International Relations - as soon as I get accepted to a good program. :)
Lucky in grades, unlucky in love?
In the meantime, I'm winning two lawsuits (including one against a former employer - NOT Bungie ... always fun :) and considering a move back to Chicago. Where of course I'll start up Bungee Software ;).
With my mad programming skills *ahem*, along with my talented *cough* sketch drawings and artwork, it should be a breeze. I'll just let all of my employees do the work. :-) Meanwhile, if the engagement breaks off, there's always this really cute girl in southern Wisconsin. Heh. The wedding is tentatively planned for March 17, 2001. Very tentatively.
Though don't rule out July 7, if it's in the mountains. ;) I've already invited Eric Rudolph, so don't bother."
Ironic mention of Eric Rudolph just a week after his capture (Is Bitner a prophet of some kind?). So December of '99 he's still in Chicago, 9 months later he's in NC, at UNC and still engaged to Misti (perhaps Tim can shed some light on her and what happened to the engagement?). And the reference to a cute girl in Wisconsin is a bit puzzling...
I think we need to start hitting those halo.bungie.org forums, as Bitner used to post there quite a lot and there could be tons of this sort of info hidden away.
Just when you think things have hit a brick wall, we strike more gold. Keep searching, Bitnerites!
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 06/08/2003 01:55 PM EST
Officially it's the middle-east. We guard the borders between Europe and Asia. Or something.
And didn't someone already volunteer to harrass every single Bitner in the Chicago region by phone (or was it mail)? Whatever happened to that?
Chestnuts roasted by SMFFofTS @ 06/08/2003 01:58 PM EST
The misti topic was covered near to the beggining around psot 150 or something.
Chestnuts roasted by Brentlok @ 06/08/2003 03:52 PM EST
Mentioned, but not really "covered", BL. Was Gemini the girl from Wisconsin?
Photog boy finds love
But second thoughts and secrets
alter wedding plans
Chestnuts roasted by Jason Sullivan @ 06/08/2003 04:25 PM EST
Has anyone suggested writing to Toyfare Magazine, this seems right up their alley...
Well, I know its not a font of hardhitting investigative reporting, but they do cover MOTU.
Chestnuts roasted by whitemale_98 @ 06/08/2003 08:00 PM EST
Toyfare is run by Wizard:
http://www.wizarduniverse.com/general/contact.cfm
For Wizard Magazine:
Send letters to magicwords@wizarduniverse.com
For ToyFare Magazine:
Send letters to fanfareletters@aol.com
Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 06/08/2003 08:26 PM EST
Good to see we have progressed.
Also, wanted to make it known that I never said anything about marriage.....
he would have been my babys daddy is all. Cant marry someone who is unstable you know. Hey, maybe I just shed somelight on the whole broken engagement thing....
Chestnuts roasted by Tessie @ 06/08/2003 08:45 PM EST
I was thinking...since there was a Photog art contest and not all of us have artistic ability, maybe there should be other Photog related contests? I sure as hell would like to try and compose the Photog theme song..
Chestnuts roasted by JRockBishi @ 06/08/2003 09:07 PM EST
Photog erotic fiction? Photog interpretive dance?
Chestnuts roasted by Jason Sullivan @ 06/08/2003 09:26 PM EST
yes, engagement to Misti with the June 9 wedding date, (whoa today would've been the anniversary...) was covered waaaay back; it caused a big stir then too. The Southern Wisconsin chick may well have been Gemini. His engagement may well have been wishful thinking taken to the next level. And here I was thinking; A girl actually saying turning down Bitner!? And, leave it to Bitner to go nuts about screenshots of 3D video game trees during his engagement announcement. (Must've meant those trees in Space Harrier, cause they were kind of cool)
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/08/2003 09:31 PM EST
Photog erotic fanfic; possibly the most revolting idea ever conceived (it's like, grody to the max!)-- XE'ers, sharpen your pencils and get to work!
"...Photog slowly but with increasing tempo thrust his turgid member into Evil-lyn's musky depths, her heaving orbs..."
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/08/2003 09:39 PM EST
You know, I didn't mention erotic fanfiction because I knew SOMEONE would go there on their own!
Chestnuts roasted by JRockBishi @ 06/08/2003 09:58 PM EST
So anyone have any feedback on what I was saying about talking to Mattel, seeing if they officialy still or are interested in keeping the rights...if our plan is to get Photog made...
(or how stupid it would be to tell a corporate Mattel guy that I'd like to make a toy they had the design for?...I think pitching a line as kid designed toys as a line of products might be half-convincing. Thoughts?)
Chestnuts roasted by ohgodtherats @ 06/08/2003 10:38 PM EST
ogtrats, I don't think they'd hand it over for free or even listen; the best we'd probably get is one of those mass form letters, the kind that makes a man feel so, empty inside; that thanks us for our interest in the new MOTU line and maybe an announcement about Bone-snapping He-man or Cabbage-patching Skeletor. No this is going to require constant mass-pestering of Mattel HQ
"Oh Photog you're a fucking machine; are you gonna cum yet you BASTARD!?
"beep beep whirrrrrrrr beep *CLICK*!
(a satisfied Evil-lyn, Sorceress, and Netta flash across Photog's chest)
The End
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/08/2003 11:08 PM EST
you're all nuts
Chestnuts roasted by nathan nerbit @ 06/08/2003 11:17 PM EST
"whos the bigger nut? The nut or the nut who reads OVER 800 HUNDRED POSTS!"
Awesome.
Chestnuts roasted by troubalert @ 06/08/2003 11:30 PM EST
Amen to that, Troubl :D
Chestnuts roasted by JRockBishi @ 06/08/2003 11:34 PM EST
Did a little digging:
http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/mitchell/staff/misti_silver/
Check out her date of graduation for her BA and in what area of concentration. According to the info provided by Bitner in Jeremy Henderson's post, Bitner was going to return to school for a Masters in Dec 99, which means if he took a semster off before going back to school for his Masters, than this Misti most likely graduated with him and in his concentration. Reasonably, this could be Bitner's (ex?)fiancee.
Developing...
Chestnuts roasted by Panic Scam @ 06/08/2003 11:34 PM EST
Well, Tessie, you did say:
"Its time to be honest. I feel a connection to Bitner. I cant remember what I was doing with myself 7 days ago. He is invading my thoughts. I try to come up with different ways to try to contact him, to figure out more of his interesting and twisted life. ...
Did he like to dress as Photog when he was by himself, all alone with the just the candle light flickering against him. Barry Manilow playing in the background as he moves slowly about his room, swaying.....gently swaying to the rhythm......Oh Bitner....."
But you're right, that's more like obsession than a desire for marriage. Sorry to misquote you! You could stalk him. Ohh, wait, that's what we're all doing! Haha funny old thing, life.
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 06/08/2003 11:39 PM EST
As for actually getting the rights to Photog....I doubt that's in grasp. I just mean on the Mattel website there's contact numbers for all types of corporate people. I agree with the mass posting...I just wanted to make sure there wasn't a common sense voice that everyone else was hearing that said "Don't call Mattel"...
I agree with the mass pestering, I just think that it'll take a bit more.
and btw don't we want to get one of those Mass response emails as a response if we want to take this where some of the others want to? I mean, we can't got to a tv show and tell them, "No, we haven't tried talking to the company." Not that it'll work. I hate the whole corporate thing. I'm just suggesting we try everything.
not so side note: There's not an actual web address for corporate contact...looks like its phone lines completely. Anyone serious about getting organized?
I say we convince someone that Photog helps cure cancer and work from there.
:)
:sigh: maybe Guyver will just sell me his figure and then I'll be happy.
Chestnuts roasted by Ohgodtherats @ 06/08/2003 11:47 PM EST
and I want a Cabbage Patch Skeletor!
Chestnuts roasted by ohgodtherats @ 06/08/2003 11:47 PM EST
Great jorb, Panic Scam. The name and dates make the connection likely.
If someone wants to be bold and do some commited stalki...er...investigative journalism her contact info is:
E-Mail: misti_silver@ncsu.edu
Phone: (828)688-4811
Fax: (828)688-2051
One thing that I found is that she probably has either a husband or a mother who shares her name. According to a race-car show link (notice same name/same city):
"The Bristol Bash was very successful for Bakersville, NC's, Silver family. John and Misti's '64 Impala SS was a runner-up in their car show class and John captured the open division of Muscle on the Mountain with his '85 S-10. Sister-in-law Sherri contributed to the Silver success by driving her '73 Camaro to a Second Place finish in her Muscle on the Mountain class."
http://www.superchevy-web.com/events/0305sc_yearone/
The "sister in-law"'s name is Sherri Silver, indicating that John is Misti's husband.
Chestnuts roasted by fearful photard @ 06/09/2003 02:25 AM EST
Israel definately is in Asia...
Now only Africa and South America to go...
Harass misti...
call her
ask about Nathan...
Chestnuts roasted by Oeg @ 06/09/2003 05:52 AM EST
ogtrats, you're of course right about it being worth a shot and that we have to do it; we also should alert Mattel to our blog. Anything at all on Photog, even in mass form, is to be collected.
At last we have Misti; but is she OUR Misti...As excited as I was at some real news in a long time, just a first name of Misti is a bit of a random potshot in the dark.
Still, the math we have on her adds up with the math we acquired ourselves, so what the hell, why don't we fire her a line; should be kept kind of veiled behind feigned interest in 4-H activities, then ever so casually ask if she was once to marry Bitner. Oh yeah, and no disintegrations.
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/09/2003 06:57 AM EST
Well I guess so we don't all annoy the woman I'll do it in a few hours and then maybe try again in the afternoon.
tick, tock, tick, tock.
Wish us luck.
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/09/2003 09:24 AM EST
:pause: That, that was me. Why would I write Krappy Kat?...I'm drinking my coffee as we speak.
I just figured I would call her...telemarketing/phone entertainment job experiences have to add up to something.
Oh and I know they'll get the entirety of the blog....I just hope someone in mattel reads the whole thing.
Chestnuts roasted by Ohgodtherats @ 06/09/2003 09:35 AM EST
I've read this thing for far too long, and now it's getting scary. Sure, all this happened in my home town, but Misti's e-mail address is affiliated with the college I graduated from.
I have absolutely nothing useful to add, but I have to say, I'm tempted to e-mail her. If Krappy Kat doesn't have any more to say soon, I may actually take the lead, just for the possibility of being part of the Bitner legend.
It's kinda reminiscent of that AI internet ad campaign...
Chestnuts roasted by Heli88 @ 06/09/2003 11:09 AM EST
Wow that was YOU ogtrats! I was afraid I'd been taken over for a second by one of those agent guys in the Matrix
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/09/2003 11:39 AM EST
The thing that worries me is that this Misti we're looking at seems way too normal to be part of the Bitner karass. I hope if it is her, she's named Misti Silver because she used to join her swashbuckling father on pirate raids in Central America in search of the fabled Moratu Silver Mines. That, or maybe she has a secret connection to El Diablo Silverado.
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 06/09/2003 11:53 AM EST
Field Report:
I called the number. It reaches "Co-Operative Extension Services", which according to Misti Silver's coworker Pam Pitman (a nice lady...but sort of weirded out by my call), is the county agricultural center, 4-H, etc, for the county. This Misti Silver is out for the next few weeks at a summer camp with the "Discovery Kids."
Pam Pitman, who said that she was good friends with Misti and offered to answer what questions she could. Unfortuenatly I'm not sure I could ask "Was she ever engaged to Bitner"...since I'm not sure that's something you'd tell your co-worker. I did go for the score and ask if she had ever mentioned someone by the name of Nathan Bitner...Mrs Pitman was confused.
She did recommend and reconfirmed Krappy Kat's email address as above---suggesting we pose our questions in that direction, though it may be a few weeks before she could get back to us (apparently she's teaching kids to live in the wilderness...so her finding this website seems unlikely at best at this moment).
So anyway all is well in the world: As long as the Bitner Conspiracy folks to swing through my windows in the next half hour.
Has anyone summarized any of this info?....I had a bitch of a time figuring out what I needed to ask Misti. I think if we just put the pieces together we'd have more to work on. (Its 800+ posts as is)
Like I might just copy it and delete all the non-factual stuff just for record. Or someone else...that would be better.
:)
This is Bitnermania.
and sort of creepy now.
Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/09/2003 12:00 PM EST
OGTR,
First of all, nice initiative soldier (you have now been promoted to the highest rank on this blog - private first class). In your phone call did you figure out the age of this Misti Silver (if she's like 40, then its probably not "our Misti". Though camp counselors are probably more often young than not)? Did you find out who John is, or if she is married?
Chestnuts roasted by Fearful Photard @ 06/09/2003 12:30 PM EST
Well thanks for the commendation (though I'm a grunt here by any other name)... and no, I really posted almost everything I learned on the scouting mission. Pam was nice but seemed a bit uneasy...it makes sense. I say we either send an email or just to be sure (and formal) a nice letter via the fax number (also verified).
I figured she was on the younger side since she's a counsellor at a summer camp but who can say? Also I didn't pose any questions about her Marital status...but I think Krappy Kat seems to be on the money.
So what's the next step?
(was thinking of calling Mattel corp with some organized thoughts/angles...since we have the numbers. Who is in California that's a bitnerManiac?...)
Btw where is Bitner headquarters going to dwell once Matt can't host the madness anymore? Any solid suggestions?
Chestnuts roasted by Ohgodtherats @ 06/09/2003 12:58 PM EST
OGTR
Heretic! Bitner is nothing but a conspiracy! They will be coming to get you, though you may not even realise they have:)
Chestnuts roasted by troubalert @ 06/09/2003 01:41 PM EST
Great work, OGTR...We all knew you had a stalker living deep inside you.
I've rifled of e-mails to the people who gave Bitner positive feedback on E-bay, and currently await responses, should any come.
And since Heli mentioned the AI chase game, I just thought I'd bring up the possibilty of recruiting some of the members of the Alternate Reality Gaming (ARG) community into our cause. They are all quite adept at digging around and unearthing needles in cyber-haystacks. What do you guys think?
Chestnuts roasted by Karmic Crimewave @ 06/09/2003 02:17 PM EST
I say go for it KC.. The more the marrier, and the more info!
OGTR u roxor...
Chestnuts roasted by Oeg @ 06/09/2003 02:45 PM EST
Here is what I found in He-Man.org's news archives about the contest Roddy mentioned in the June 9 Blog post from Matt:
May 9
Mattel is sponsoring a "Make your own commercial" contest!
That's right. They want to see the creative and cool ideas you, your friends, your family, and anyone who loves Masters of the Universe can come up with!
It can be about any new figure.. any new vehicle... any new playset.. anything for the new Masters of the Universe toy line!
Make a live-action commercial! Make an animated commercial! Create cool visuals in whatever medium you think works to support and draw interest to Masters of the Universe!
And to make it even better, Mattel will be judging and giving out prizes for the most creative and interesting commercials!
There will be a 1st place, 2nd place, and 3rd place prize! What will those prizes be? Well, those details will be announced soon, but it's REALLY cool from what we hear! Trust us.
So get started on your entries and spread the word!
- Commercials must pertain to the new Masters of the Universe toy line.
- Commercials may be audio or video, but combinations of both are strongly encouraged as they will have a distinct advantage over other submissions.
- Commercials may be submitted in any of the following formats:
Submitted by e-mail: MPG, AVI, Real Video, MP3, or WAV.
Submitted by mail: VHS, DVD, CD, or VCD containing live video or any of the above mentioned formats
- For digital files, audio submissions must not exceed 2MB in size and video and video/audio combo submissions must not exceed 5MB in size.
- Commercials must be between 15 and 30 seconds in length.
- E-mail submissions must provide a link to where your file can be downloaded. DO NOT attach or embed submissions into your e-mail. ONLY provide a link to your file. Send your entry submissions here. Again, DO NOT attach files.
- Mail submissions can be sent to:
MVCreations
ATTN: Masters Commercial Contest
1316 Jefferson Street
Lynchburg, VA 24504
- Each contestant is limited to 1 submission.
- Please include all contact information including: name and complete address
- Inappropriate submissions will be disregarded.
- Submissions are due on or before June 30th, 2003.
To get the creative juices flowing, here are the commercials Mattel is running for the Masters of the Universe toy line.
http://www.he-man.org/news_images/toy_comms/BasicFigures_HeMan.mpg
http://www.he-man.org/news_images/toy_comms/BasicFigures_Skeletor.mpg
http://www.he-man.org/news_images/toy_comms/Land%20Battle%20Vehicles-Basic%20Figures%20(30).mpg
http://www.he-man.org/news_images/toy_comms/Samurai%20Beast%20Riders-Samurai%20Deluxe%20Figures%20(30).mpg
Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 06/09/2003 02:56 PM EST
(was thinking of calling Mattel corp with some organized thoughts/angles...since we have the numbers. Who is in California that's a bitnerManiac?...)
Um, I would be one. Do you want me to find out about the rights, who axed what? Let me know.
Chestnuts roasted by Rogue-13 @ 06/09/2003 03:14 PM EST
Photog fans:
I've made an exception for this post, so even after it's knocked into the archives, you will still be able to read/respond to the comments.
For easy locating, there's now a link at the bottom of the main index page to get to here. Keep an eye out for it once this post officially hits the archives.
Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 06/09/2003 03:22 PM EST
Happy aborted anniversary, Nathan!
Back from Disneyland. I didn't find any evidence of Bitner, but I did get stuck on Pirates of the Carribean for 1/2 hour. According to Disney "cast members" the "mainframe in Florida" was down, which was causing the rides and credit card machines to malfunction. A convenient excuse, or an elaborate coverup orchestrated by Mattel and Disney to keep us from getting closer to the truth? You make the call.
(and yes, I demanded and received replacement tickets for another day.)
I think TechTV, The Daily Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live and Last Call with Carson Daily are our best bets for getting exposure. Let's flood 'em all.
Thanks Matt!
Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 06/09/2003 03:30 PM EST
Well from what I've read (need to double check) Mattel HQ may still be in Cali...I was just curious who was there and fanatic enough to hand in a petition in person if possible if I can get them to really talk to us. I've been a corporate whore for a few years so I might be able to weasel my way in...I figured if I shot high I'd want to know who was there.
But Rogue-13 if you could dig up any of that info it would be keen.
There's some guys I need to talk to on the He-man.org forum that work for Lego...they might give out some info on how to get our foot in the door.
ME: That looks awesome...Since the photog thing I've been almost wanting to fuck around with Live-action MOTU. Sounds keen. Except the winner may well be the next Nathan Bitner. BTW ME...what's your occupation?
Writing a letter to Misti Silver:
Here's the info I need: Krappy Kat's already given the info on how we contacted this Misti Silver....what's the link to the post that Bitner made mentioning their engagement. I figured I would just come out with a letter explaining our interest in Bitner as well as explain how we found her so she doesn't think we're stalking her. (Because we're stalking someone Else)
Also can anyone get info about the Cartoon Network MOTU series...letting them in on it might be helpful too.
KC: ARG sounds like good people for us. Its like in the Professional: "Get everyone. EVERYONE!"
Oh and for those who would like to know when I went outside to smoke today my elderly neighbor was getting hauled out of her house by the paramedics...Maybe the BitnerRepression Squad got the wrong house?
Chestnuts roasted by OhGodtheRats @ 06/09/2003 03:43 PM EST
Oh got the wrong house did we ? Mwa ha ha ha.
Chestnuts roasted by B.R. Squad @ 06/09/2003 05:23 PM EST
OhGodtheRats, I checked out the members of the he-man.org message board and the only insider from the new (and old) cartoon that I could surmise is well known cartoon writer, Larry DiTillio.
http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/member.php?s=3beb81eb8642ad34d763ad981b0c9388&action=getinfo&userid=8044
After a Google search for the guy who runs He-Man.org and makes the new comic book, Val Staples, I found out that his e-mail is jvs3@he-man.org
Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 06/09/2003 06:48 PM EST
I'm not sure Misti Silver is a solid lead. Bitner mentions getting engaged to her while he was still in Chicago, which would indicate to me that she living in Chicago at the time as well. He just describes her as being from North Carolina, not living there.
My assumption was he meets her in Chicago, and then after she graduated and went back home to NC, he moved there to be with her. Maybe we should be looking for a Misti who graduated from UC in 1999, not from UNC.
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 06/09/2003 07:40 PM EST
Currently I'm scouring the Halo.Bungie.Org forums for more info (there's over 200 Bitner posts in there), and came across the following:
"And actually, I lived literally five feet (across the hall) from him (Jeremy - "him" being one of his fellow Bungie employees) for two years. Although the second year, he spent a good amount of time at Castle Grayskull. That, I'm afraid, I wouldn't be allowed to explain. ;)"
A He-Man reference! This HAS to mean something!
Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy Henderson @ 06/09/2003 08:17 PM EST
Yo ogtrats; here's the link to the engagement announcement from Bitner himself in the bungie forums http://forums.bungie.org/halo/archive.pl?read=9998
Great work on the Misti attack as well; a few weeks in the wilderness!? She's in hiding I just know it; must've known we were coming...
Oh yeah, I'm not the dude who unearthed Misti's contact info; I believe Panic Scam deserves the prize (a year's supply of 3D game trees) for that one. I just compared it with the Misti we met much earlier and gave some stalking etiquette for contacting her Can anymore info be dug up in the meantime?
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/09/2003 08:20 PM EST
I'm going to do a bit more research before calling up the Mattel people...from Lego follow-ups to a bit more "spreading the good word"...
Like hearing back from the He-man.org folks...has anyone gotten any responses back from the emails they sent out?
On a side note: (maybe not)This is going to sound ridiculous but either my Aol when fubar today or as my Aol Customer Service Representative informed me: "someone got into my account illegally"...some 300 emails were sent out by my sn (non viral). So I guess what I'm saying is if someone was playing the BitnerRepression squad I get the joke. If not that's fucking hilarious timing. I thought everyone would be amused at things to feed conspiracies. :)
Chestnuts roasted by ohgodtheRats @ 06/09/2003 09:25 PM EST
and BTW, in regards to the task of summarizing what we know and need to know for purposes of interrogating Misti;
This is all assuming she will be willing to play in our game of cat-and-mouse (as long as we keep it polite, pleasant, and maintain a sense of humor I'm sure she'd be cool, Misties are like that)
-start by saying you're a big fan of rabbit hutches or calf toting or such 4H activities, and that's how you got her contact info--also, say you're a bungie bitner fan or something and want to do a graduate thesis paper on him (or something)
-did they meet in Chicago or NC; also how they met
-did Bitner actually graduate
-absolutely no Gemini unless she brings it up first
-if she was in on IslandFour
-any info on his '97-'99 whereabouts
-best not distress her with news of his war on Iraq (unless of course she asks)
-no real need to ask about his emotional situation or why they broke up (probably a connection though
-anything else we need?
this is all I would imagine her being wise to; should she come the blog or not; could she handle this? And tell me that's not the poor woman posting her own home phone and address on the Internet
Chestnuts roasted by Krappy Kat @ 06/09/2003 09:41 PM EST
Awesome outline...
Now we just need the same thing for the multiple Bitners....
Are we certain Bungie Bitner is the right one? I see the He-Man references and that almost makes it a shoe-in for me.
Chestnuts roasted by OhgodtheRats @ 06/09/2003 09:55 PM EST
"-if she was in on IslandFour"
Well some did beg for her to apply her desperately needed 4-h expertise to the Bungie juggernaut:
"> Really, I think you should hire Nathan's fiancee as Halo's exec.
> producer.
We are already employing Nathan's mom. Admittedly she is more of a volunteer than an actual employee, "working" for Twinkies and Binaca, but employing his fiancée as well might verge on criminal nepotism.
-Matt"
http://forums.bungie.org/halo/archive2.pl?read=41665
Besides that haven't you learned yet, kk?...There never was any Island Four! There was nothing to be "in" on. The closest it came to being a company was Nathan and Tim sitting around in their underwear watching a Bears game.
"...most importantly, I want a cult following." - Nathan Bitner
Chestnuts roasted by Jason Sullivan @ 06/09/2003 10:22 PM EST
O.k. Time out.
Let's think about this.
I went through some of the forums that Nathan Bitner was posting through, some fansites for Island Four and what not and the infamous Cortana letters...
If Bitner had this much of an online presence back then, its seems unlikely that he's disappeared to the extent that he has. I've sent emails to the people running islandfour.org and .com...but take a look at this.
http://www.islandfour.com/
From that and the online dramatics presented by the Cortana letters I'm willing to give a good bet that Bitner may be playing up the drama himself at this very moment...Not that I'm going to stop. For me it was always Photog, less Bitner. But has anyone else wondered why Matt and another handful of geek-oriented websites suddenly started talking about Nathan Bitner? Why did Matt choose to do an article on him out of the blue just like the other sites (this site is just the most intense with its bitnermania)?
Not to feed conspiracies theories.But check this out (from http://halons.bungie.org/newssearch.html)
I quote (the interview itself is offline):
Gamesmania interviews Nathan Bitner
Not really Halo news... but Nathan Bitner has appeared in the news here quite a bit, so we figured it was worth a mention. As noted on the Marathon's Story page, Gamesmania has an interview with Nathan up at their site, in which he discusses Island Four Software, his new company, and his philosophy of game development. Except for Gamesmania twice referring to the Marathon's Story page as 'the Marathon.org message board' (with no correction from Nathan), it's a fun read. What does Nathan want?
"Oh, yeah, and most importantly, I want a cult following."
Are we helping here? (Louis Wu 01:28:16 UTC)
The man is quoted at desiring a cult following.
Quoted. Its the only line from the interview that's survived.
Quoted.
Did this thing start on April Fools?
Thoughts Anyone? (or even Lord Bitner, should he decide to stand---amazing gag if so)
-ohgodtherats@aol.com
Chestnuts roasted by OhgodtheRats @ 06/09/2003 10:35 PM EST
OK, here's my question. I'm thoroughly convinced that Island Four Bitner is Photog Bitner. But are we absolutely sure that our Bitner is in the military, and in Iraq? Because I don't know how much he could be planning if he's busy with army stuff. But if he's not in Iraq, and he's running around free somewhere... the possibilites are endless.
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 06/09/2003 11:14 PM EST
"But has anyone else wondered why Matt and another handful of geek-oriented websites suddenly started talking about Nathan Bitner?" - Ogtrats
Ogtrats, what other sites? Those Bungie archives are like 2 years old!
Chestnuts roasted by Horatio @ 06/09/2003 11:39 PM EST
its taken me three days of blog reading, but finally i am caught up. and i confess, i am hooked on bitnermania. i signed the petition, and i agree with the paper copy idea. it would be easier to get names at the mall or someplace like that. now that im up to speed, ill be staying on this runnaway train till the bitner end. if theres anything i can do to help, let me know.
Chestnuts roasted by BigCorey @ 06/10/2003 12:33 AM EST
I would like to know of the other sites that started talking about Bitner out of the blue please. Thank you.
Chestnuts roasted by Nathan Nerbit @ 06/10/2003 12:42 AM EST
Concerning a new place to post messages when this becomes obsolete, how about yahoo groups? someone could set up a group and post the link here, and everyone could migrate, so you know how many are actually bitnermaniacs and how many are using aliases to post under 10 or 20 different names . EVIL LOL!
Chestnuts roasted by Nathan Nerbit @ 06/10/2003 12:46 AM EST
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/photogbitner
DONE.
Chestnuts roasted by t.b. @ 06/10/2003 12:56 AM EST
I joined the Bitner group, have you?
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 06/10/2003 01:26 AM EST
On another note, using the scroll button on my mouse it takes 1 minute, 15 seconds to get from the top to bottom of this blog, that's gotta be worth something, right?
Chestnuts roasted by Tornado @ 06/10/2003 01:29 AM EST
Well I take it back. It looks like the forum/links that are talking about Bitner all come back to here....though I swear when this started I thought I stumbled across other websites not mentioning Matt...weird. My mistake. I still wonder how this came up. Like what inspired Matt to do the article.
Jason That's really weird that we were writing the same damn thing at the same time. Almost Synchronous.....about as synchronous as the quote we found from Bitner. Cult following? :sigh:
On a side note the admins at he-man.org might hold a key to actually contacting Bitner:
at Found at http://marathon.bungie.org/story/halo_oct-dec99.html
There's this entry:
Mark Levin writes:
Did you notice, on the page regarding Nathan's winning character, they give his email address as "nathan@bungie.org"?
Could it be true? Has Nathan joined Bungie.org? Is this one of Nathan's many email addresses?
The link on "Nathan's winning character" goes to www.he-man.org/site/articles/cac85.shtml ...the address is defunct but it seems that a few years back Nathan actually had an email address posted on He-Man. (writing them as you read)So I'm sure we've found our Bitner...were we serious about him being in the armed services at some point?
I still like the idea that he's behind this. If I had a figure that was supposed to be made, and suddenly MOTU was getting popular again....I'd try my best to get the thing made. And hell he DID get a cult following....
Of course this doesn't change anything for me....as I said
