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05/16/2003 Entry: "I hate the Motor Vehicles' GUTS."

Well, I've had a bitch of a time at the Motor Vehicles Castle of Hell for the past two days - basically, I went to pay a speeding ticket, and found out that my license had been revoked since 11/01 because of a 'driving without proof of insurance' ticket that I've already paid and proved myself not guilty for. Apparently, you must now send t-shirts with ironed-on slogans detailing your innocence whenever they suggest otherwise. I'm cursed when it comes to anything auto-related, so at least none of this was surprising. Actually, it is sort of surprising my supposedly long-revoked license didn't cause the police to throw me in jail for driving 77 in a 50 zone two months back. Our DMV has seemingly been granted the right to make up rules and regulations as they go along, the only prerequisite being that all new standards must annoy and torture me personally.

This wasn't enough to blow my spirits to the point where I couldn't throw up 1,500 words about Mattel's GUTS! action figures.

Oh, here's something to discuss: a few weeks back I changed the comments order to ascend from the oldest to the newest. I'm not sure if my sentence structure was off in that last one, but you know what I mean. I did this to keep the 'hey I'm on TOP' responses to a minimum, which was probably a little too proactive since it wasn't really a problem to begin with. Still, in the current layout, you've got to scroll down a long way to get to the new comments. Would you prefer that I keep 'em listed this way, or the infamous 'other way.' It's all up to you.

REPLIES: 45 comments

Personaly, I prefer the blogs this way.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 05/16/2003 05:59 PM EST

I admit that it's easier to have them appear on top when you're looking for new responses. But when you're just mindlessly reading through, this format is much better. Less confusing, too!

Chestnuts roasted by Starfish @ 05/16/2003 06:03 PM EST

I think this way will be loads better, before when i was reading a blog, ppl talking about previous posts had me searching through all the old ones. Finally life is making sense!!

PS Matt, you're the daddy of randomness, i love the site

Chestnuts roasted by The Absinth Fuelled Coder @ 05/16/2003 06:12 PM EST

Any chance of a longer review for a certain party video with Theo Huxtable?

Chestnuts roasted by ME @ 05/16/2003 06:42 PM EST

It's Beethoven's Ninth, not the Fifth.

Chestnuts roasted by Action Jacktion @ 05/16/2003 07:51 PM EST

Sorry to hear about the license thing. I'm just nervous enough about actually passing my road test which I haven't scheduled, which the longer I postpone, the more my driving skills will atrophy. I just want to be able to help my sister make that long journey to Florida.

Chestnuts roasted by Go Knock Jimmy Down @ 05/16/2003 07:56 PM EST

Hey look! I'm on the bottom!

Chestnuts roasted by Clarissa @ 05/16/2003 08:23 PM EST

No you're not.

Chestnuts roasted by AtomicPunk @ 05/16/2003 08:30 PM EST

I personnally like the idea of having bottom-dwellers on the site instead of the usual "I'm on top", which sounds wayyyyyy too kinky for my virgin ears. That's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Chestnuts roasted by KoNaX @ 05/16/2003 09:09 PM EST

I has my answer all ready, saying that the new posts on the top indeed were best for us to find the new comments, but I've changed my mind after reading some of our friends opinions...

So yeah, the present way is better, it's like reading a story, from beginning to end (if THAT makes any sense at all).

Chestnuts roasted by Roddy @ 05/16/2003 09:19 PM EST

Yeah, Matt, I kinda like the new blogs on the bottom. Reminds me of grade school, where we'd dog pile the new kid. Ahhhh, youth, how I miss thee...

Anyways, great article. I only had two of the GUTS! figures as a kid, and wouldn't you know it, it was Dart and Iron Fist. I remember getting the package cos Dart was like my own mini-Snake Eyes. Iron Fist was like Rambo, but without the laughable accent.

iceman801@yahoo.com

Chestnuts roasted by Psychic Lemur @ 05/16/2003 09:38 PM EST

I heard from some guy that was in the marines that most of the time you do end up holding it. It's hard to drop your pants when people are tring to defend their country by popping a cap in your ass. So the looks of constipation make sense.

Chestnuts roasted by lkfull @ 05/16/2003 11:16 PM EST

The blog posts work better from the top to the bottom, I believe. Uhm, hey is anyone else getting a message that says, "You have been banned from using this site." Sometimes I try to post and it pops up on the screen. I mean, if uh, I did something wrong Matt I apologize! I mean where else could I go to wax nostalgic about Manglors and sniffing Pixie Sticks, LoL! Anyway, I hope its just a glitch, but if I'm screwing something up just let me know and I'll cease and desist. Cheers! :)

Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/17/2003 12:05 AM EST

The blog this way is cool... nice article... tho I miss Nick's GUTS better. Ne-one remember Nickeloden's GUTS? Mike O'Malley is annoying now... Does satallite ever air it or whatever? Mr. Bean Mr. Bean

Chestnuts roasted by Prezkot @ 05/17/2003 12:35 AM EST

http://www.x-entertainment.com/articles/0787/1.jpg

I don't know if links work like that on this thing...or even if Matt allows linking to pictures...but...The figure on the right. What's it look like he's holding? Leave it to me to think of such things.

Chestnuts roasted by William @ 05/17/2003 01:27 AM EST

You can still see GUTS on Nick Games and Sports, along with Global GUTS witch was exactly the same just with europeans. I always liked it when they had to race up mega mountain and then they would pelt the kids with glitter, and chunks of styrofoam. If you catch it on tv you will realize Mike O'Malley was always annoying. I think he had a couple more game shows on nick, like Think Fast and something else I don't remember the name of. I always perfered stuff like Welcome Freshmen, Hey Dude, and Salute You Shorts anyway.

Chestnuts roasted by CalmingEffect @ 05/17/2003 02:14 AM EST

Well, William, I would like to say that the figure on the right is holding a U.S. Military Standard Issue M-73 Assault Dildo. And I just did, so I guess my point is lost...

Chestnuts roasted by Psychic Lemur @ 05/17/2003 03:54 AM EST

Speaking of immobile, unposable toys, I was reading the news and (between sobbing and gnashing my teeth) I came across this article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/3034177.stm . Rather than a movie request, I want to put in a Legos request. I guess it might be hard to write reviews of them, but maybe you could sneak 'em into articles, like playing spot the Hitchcock. ;) I dunno; maybe it'll help me get over the fact that my cousin had all of the cool little, flat, intricate pieces and I had nothing but the basic blocks and the fat-head figures. Of course, therapy might be a better idea. ;)

Also, speaking of figurines you've never heard of unless you collected them (didn't they sell GUTS! in dollar stores?), in that respect, these sort of reminded me of three figures I had as a kid, but I had no idea what they were or what line they came from even back then. I remember they came with a little comic book and I had three 80s-GI-Joe-sized figures from the line: one was a figure that looked a lot like Liu Kang in style and dress (but this was way before MK); another was a blond figure, but I don't remember much more than that; and the other was a tiny, long-and-flat-headed (but with a small torso and extremities) tiki-type character who was the mostly-red-with-a-hint-of-Pebto-Bismol colour of dollar store ketchup. The other thing I remember about them was that they were quite rubbery (but not elastic) and that, rather than having a pin joint, they had two pin-prick holes in the rubber where the joints were supposed to be (they looked like tiny extra orifices), that allowed you to bend those limbs. They weren't posable though. I know this wasn't a major line -- at least not in Canada; no one I know had these and there was no comic series or tv show that I ever heard of -- but they were actually kind of cool. I just had them hang on the periphery of my Joe figures, as though they were on the cusp of being in with cool, older figures. ;) Anyone?

Meh, I'm going to finally follow mom's twenty-year-old advice and go outside and get some fresh air.

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 05/17/2003 11:39 AM EST

Matt, my fiance just went through almost the same thing about a month ago--the license thing. Turns out when he got that same kind of ticket a year ago and had to go to court, he was supposed to file some paperwork with the state and they never told him to do it. A year later, he gets a letter in the mail stating his license will be suspended in 30 days if he doesn't comply. He goes to the dmv which tells him he has to go to ANOTHER dmv in the main city. He goes there and they tell him, okay, sign this, you'll be fine. He was like "why didn't they tell me to do this a year ago?". Their exact answer was "oh, the court's supposed to tell you when you go there but they never do". Real nice.

Oh, and I like the blog comments this way, btw.

Chestnuts roasted by rowdykatie @ 05/17/2003 01:33 PM EST

Bottom dweller also sounds wrong.

And that isn't Hawkeye! Not loveable, gin-drinking, red robe-sporting surgeon Hawkeye Pierce!

Chestnuts roasted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 05/17/2003 01:45 PM EST

You know what else sounds wrong?
"X-Entertainment - Downloads".

Chestnuts roasted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 05/17/2003 01:48 PM EST

Hey, Now I'm the bottom boy. Wait, that's not right.
Anyway, new way make Hulk Happy. Old way make Hulk Smacsh. Consider your options.....

Chestnuts roasted by Big Will @ 05/17/2003 02:10 PM EST

haha, that article was good. it's funny to me how u can make a cool, interesting article out of something like little toys from the 80s.

if somebody walked by and u told them "oh i'm just reading a review of the 'guts' toys from the '80s", u get the point...

keep up tha good work

Chestnuts roasted by photocdclub.com @ 05/17/2003 04:00 PM EST

That's what I love about this website. When you review these random toys that I actually played with back in the day. I remember having the entire set of the Aikido figures and I loved them. Kinda like the poor man's GI Joe's when I wasn't in the mood to make Bazooka and Quick Kick give it to Cobra. Wow, thanks Matt, you bring back good memories of GUTS!

Chestnuts roasted by sknyluv @ 05/17/2003 06:50 PM EST

I have a few of those GUTS (Ninja/aquamen/spacemen/berets). My favorite has got to be the Ninja with the throwing stars, the sculpting on him is fantastic and pretty detailed IMO.

Chestnuts roasted by Basic @ 05/17/2003 08:36 PM EST

what about the 10 pack?

Chestnuts roasted by Bakudai @ 05/17/2003 11:13 PM EST

NO I DON'T HAVE SCARFACE!!!

And dude, I found a bunch of packs of GUTS! at our local dollar store. Right next to the "4 packs for a dollar" Gargoyles Series II trading cards. I've almost got 'em all except for Demona... damned damned Demona........

Chestnuts roasted by Otaku Queen @ 05/18/2003 12:17 AM EST

I like it this way, it feels more natural.

Chestnuts roasted by Patrick N @ 05/18/2003 02:00 AM EST

As far as the new comments being on the bottom I'm all for it, I don't do much posting but I read them everyday so it just makes my hard life so much easier. But then again who really cares for the people that don't post anything anyways.

Chestnuts roasted by edthacow @ 05/18/2003 03:29 AM EST

this way is easier to read. keep it this way.

do do do do you have it?
do do do do you have it GUTS
na na nananana nananana GUTS

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 05/18/2003 10:45 AM EST

Easier to read the comments this way.

http://www.damntheyankees.com

Chestnuts roasted by Jimmy @ 05/18/2003 09:54 PM EST

Seeing this reminds me of something I used to play with. They were called Garbage Bag Bunch or Trash Bag Bunch or something along those lines. Can't remember really. They were the same type of thing like GUTS or M.U.S.C.L.E. but they came in little garbage bags so you couldnt tell which figure you were getting and when you put it in water, the garbage bag would dissolve.

Chestnuts roasted by Toxicity- @ 05/18/2003 11:51 PM EST

holy crap toxicity.....good recall... what the hell were those things called? I remember them... I am putting this question on the newest post to hopefully get someones attention

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 05/19/2003 12:35 PM EST

You guys can thank me with a smile, a little happiness in rememberance and I bag of thos green Hulk Twizzlers....

http://www.prillycharmin.net/born/garbage2.jpg

http://www.prillycharmin.net/born/garbagedisplay.jpg

"It turned out that Galoob already had a bunch of figures of monsters and robots and aliens that they had made up, but couldn't figure out how to merchandise, so they put them in the bags and added an alka-seltzer like tablet to make them fizz when they dissolved, and called them, the "Trash Bag Bunch" We had originally called them the "Garbage Bag Gang" , but Galoob felt that sounded too much like Cabbage Patch!"

Chestnuts roasted by Big Will @ 05/20/2003 03:43 PM EST

"Disgustingly Scented" haha, there's a selling feature for you.

Chestnuts roasted by Toxicity- @ 05/21/2003 11:39 AM EST

Yay! Now I'm on the bottom. The weight of the article rests on my shoulders. CalmingEffect, I too, love shows on Nick. Does anyone else remember Make The Grade? I loved that show. I miss so many of the twisted animated shows. Real Monsters, and I really miss Rocko's Modern Life. I'm off to find old copies of Galaga. Such a nerd.

Chestnuts roasted by Bansheex @ 05/22/2003 05:18 PM EST

ok stop the flriting who cares whos on the bottom heres the real importance pixe stiks their aousome and this kid ryan sniffs them its sooooo aousome and when he dose hes all like "it burns !!!,it burns !!!!!"
ooooo ya i almoust forgot you 2 that are flirting for all you know you could both be guys or both be girls or something unless you know eachother wich i kinda dout!!

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