05/12/2003 Entry: "Easy Video!"

This past weekend, I discovered the last old style video store in anything resembling a close driving proximity. 'Easy Video' doesn't have much in the way of new releases, but they've got tons of ten-year-old candy. Today's article gives you the breakdown, plus a picture of a Bald Bull temporary tattoo. It's actually the first half of a two-part series - I picked up a movie while I was there, and it's BAD. 1.9 on IMDB level bad. Review coming tomorrow. Annihilation coming on Wednesday, which is pronounced 'Wedsday' by people with an inclination to skip syllables.

PS - big thanks to Mike for designing X-E's new toolbar, which you can see at the top of this page. Scroll up, it's really there. Mike's also been spending a lot of time making progress with the various archive-related mumbo jumbo necessary to make X-E flylikecomet, and it's greatly appreciated by both myself and the guy from The Crow who kept saying 'shit on me.'

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 05/12/2003 11:14 AM EST

ew. that food reminds me of the little vending huts at high school football games. ewwwwwwwww.

Chestnuts roasted by kennef @ 05/12/2003 01:04 PM EST

So did you actually find anything valuable, or was it all just amusing junk? I'm sure some of that stuff is hard to come by today, but it still might be worthless.

Chestnuts roasted by Action Jacktion @ 05/12/2003 01:23 PM EST

The Nintendo Tattoos are valuable, at least compared to what I paid. Everything else is pretty much worthless, though it wouldn't surprise me to see the Marvel-related crap sell on eBay. They certainly had a few hundred-dollar movies, tho.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/12/2003 01:44 PM EST

Heh, if only we had a place like that near where I live. Not that I'd actually WANT to eat any of the candy (I'm not entirely masochist), but its like a timecapsule of the late 80s-mid 90s.

Course, the idea of having Link tattooed to my forehead while taking my finals seems like a great idea...

Chestnuts roasted by Psychi Lemur @ 05/12/2003 01:58 PM EST

For years now... years... I have been searching for "T2 Sour Bullet Candy". They came in a little black container reminiscent of a hockey puck. Inside were little silver sour candies that looked like ball bearings. I guess they were supposed to be what the evil liquid Terminator would look like if he took the form of crude ammunition. You also got a little sticker of a bullet-hole that I used to put all over my bedroom window. These things were SOUR. It was as if they took a truckload of lemons and distilled the sourness down to a concentrated little silver pellet. These things literally left burn marks on your tongue. Nothing... NOTHING... comes close to the pure unrestrained levels of sourfulness in these little bastards. I've searched all of the musty old grocery and convienence stores in Vancouver, but alas.... they have been out of circulation too long. Please Matt, please.... tell me you saw these things at Easy Video... and I'll book my flight today.

Chestnuts roasted by shinfifo @ 05/12/2003 02:05 PM EST

I can hardly wait until tomorrow, you big tease.

Chestnuts roasted by Kookie @ 05/12/2003 02:45 PM EST

Shinfifo, you ain't kiddin'. Those things reach a sour level almost illegal by law. Matt, we've got some bizarre small vid stores out here on Long Island, but NOTHING, NOTHING NOTHING!!! compares to 112 Video. Originally a mom and pop store, now a viable business, their big selling point is being the only store where you can ask for anything and they will nearly always say "I have that." It is mecca.

Chestnuts roasted by Nemesis @ 05/12/2003 03:20 PM EST

I wonder if the Mom and Pop video store from Clerks is still around. I read the the mini-mart is. Now, THAT would be the Mecca of video stores.

Chestnuts roasted by No so Silent Bob @ 05/12/2003 04:11 PM EST

I remember seeing the Crazy Dips as a non-wrestling related item at some point in the mid-90s over here in Germany. I can't recall exactly when (though I'm fairly sure it was before '96), but if I'm not mistaken they were quite lame, especially the variety with the cola-flavoured foot.

Chestnuts roasted by Impossible Robot @ 05/12/2003 05:15 PM EST

Easy Video was a regional video chain in Jersey in the early to mid 90's. Most of the stores shut down when Blockbuster and Hollywood Video moved into town after town. A search on Superpages.com shows 17 remaining in the state.

I'm presuming from the picture that your find was made at the one on Route 9 in Woodbridge?

Chestnuts roasted by Lance @ 05/12/2003 05:44 PM EST

Easy Video was a regional video chain in Jersey in the early to mid 90's. Most of the stores shut down when Blockbuster and Hollywood Video moved into town after town. A search on Superpages.com shows 17 remaining in the state.

I'm presuming from the picture that your find was made at the one on Route 9 in Woodbridge?

Chestnuts roasted by Lance @ 05/12/2003 05:44 PM EST

For some unexplained reason, there are a ton of the mom and pop video stores or even mini-chains that have survived in South Jersey, including Easy video (thanks for the heads up on superpages.com, Lance). Blockbusters and Hollywood Videos are around, but not enough to reach saturation. Nothing beats finding ancient horror flicks (remember "The Stuff"?) sitting next to those swinging western bar doors marking the "adult" section in the M & P places.

Chestnuts roasted by Konopka @ 05/12/2003 06:13 PM EST

Hey, Matt, will you scan up and show us the rest of the Nintendo tattoos? Perhaps in flat mode?

See, I have these kick-244 printer papers that will turn anything you print out on them into a temporary tattoo. So when I go take my finals next week, I really CAN have Link on my forehead.

Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 05/12/2003 07:58 PM EST

Oh man... "Field trip" articles like this are my favorite on X-E, nay, the entire internet. Can't wait for tomorrow's review!

Chestnuts roasted by Justin @ 05/12/2003 08:04 PM EST

We have ONE good video store here in San Diego, called Kensington Video. They not only have a ton of stuff, but know what you're talking about when you ask them for it.

They're more artsy though, so I doubt they'll have the garbage pail kids movie, but I'm going to look for it...

Chestnuts roasted by Casey Jones @ 05/12/2003 08:25 PM EST

"RICK" FLAIR? That was WCW was whoring out the licenses in a failed attempt to keep from going under. I got a pair of "Goldberg"
boxers for god sake.

Chestnuts roasted by naturekid @ 05/12/2003 08:42 PM EST

The new toolbar is great, but what is that underneath the "advertise" link? Rob, Gizmo, Krang, Cyclonus, Hulk Fist 'n Mits, Sad Whale, but what is that other thing? It kind of looks like a milk dud bitten in half, LoL! Oh well, its probably obvious to everyone but me... Oh I say the whales are a singing...

Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/12/2003 09:07 PM EST

The movie is encoding as we speak, so expect a few videos along with it. It's not a 'popular' flick - it's never been requested by anyone before, but this one is surely one of the oddest ones I've ever encountered.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/12/2003 09:24 PM EST

Screw taking a final with Link tattooed on your forehead. Take it drunk! I'm getting tanked before my very last test in my very last semester of college. It's tomorrow, and I need a whopping 5% on it to graduate. Of course, I could get a Link tattoo AND go drunk... (gleeful laughter)

As far as the article goes, I noticed that you go off the copyright to date the candy. I'm not entirely sure about this, so please correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the copyright is the date of the latest revision of the packaging. In other words, if a company sticks with the same packaging for 1995, 1996, and 1997, the 1997 candy would still be copyrighted 1995. I can't believe that a company would keep the same packaging long enough for ANY of that stuff to be fresh, but it might only be 3 or 4 years old instead of 5 or 6. Of course, eating it would still cause your face to puff up and your intestines to fall out your asshole.

Chestnuts roasted by Spaz307 @ 05/12/2003 09:35 PM EST

That's the case sometimes, but usually, they'll be two copyright dates listed. The 'start' date, and the more current date. In the case of food, it's usually just the more current date. (check anything in your fridge - usually won't have the 'starting' date)

Still, most of the candies reviewed were fad items that didn't last longer than a year anyway. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/12/2003 09:38 PM EST

The Amurol Candy Company is in Yorkville, Illinois about seven miles outside of my hometown of Aurora. ALL the Christmas Candy they produced was ALL Crap (and there were lots, believe it or don't) Incedentally, this Awful Candy Co. is also the hometown of our Awful Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert.

Shinfifo, yr gonna say I'm lying but there's still boxes of leftover T2 Sour Meltdowns at the Navy Exchange in Norfolk VA as of January ('o3). Unfortunately, you have to actually be IN the Navy to shop there...

Chestnuts roasted by Grego @ 05/12/2003 09:55 PM EST

God, I hate being teased like that. We still have a couple of mom and pop video stores in my city, but all they really seem to do business in is porn. No candy, no posters, two token copies of a huge new release, and a back room that keeps expanding. It's almost sad, but not really.

Chestnuts roasted by Travis @ 05/12/2003 10:58 PM EST

Holy crap!

Matt, I BOUGHT Mr. Bigs! With Shaq! In 1996! Oh God... I was in High School back then, I remembered buying one for 5 pesos [and thinking it was damn expensive] but they were damn good. AND, they're still being sold in Mexico [where I live]! I still buy them from time to time, but they're not as big as they were back then. They were the size of a Baby Ruth, but now they're about the size of a Twix bar.

And, those Tattoos seem to use the same designs that Topps used with their Nintendo scratch cards [which much earlier were used with various arcade games like Frogger]. I had a ton of those stickers and scratch cards... in 1990. =\

Memory lane allright. Thanks!

//KS

Chestnuts roasted by Kitsune Sniper @ 05/12/2003 11:31 PM EST

I can't wait to read the bloody review! I don't see anything rated exactly 1.9 on the IMDB bottom 100, but I'm still hoping for Troll 2. I'll flip my lid if it's The Forbidden Zone. Hell, I'll flip my lid if you've even heard of The Forbidden Zone. It rocks, btw.

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 05/12/2003 11:35 PM EST

The movie better not be Krull....

Chestnuts roasted by malevolent taco @ 05/12/2003 11:59 PM EST

Not Krull, though I did buy that one a while ago. I haven't watched it yet. I'm waiting for real motivation to do Krull, since I spent my childhood obsessing over the blue guy on the video box. (though, if you do a search on the main page for 'last cracker,' you'll get an article about the Krull board game!)

It's not Troll 2, either - though admittedly, it might not have quite the punch of THAT movie. This one doesn't really have much of a cult following, but from what I'm seeing as we speak, holy God it should.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/13/2003 12:02 AM EST

dude matt. Chewy Gobstoppers are still being made (normal gobstoppers too) and Chewy Gobstoppers are recent. now unlesss you are my age (15) than you wouldn't be 12 when they stopped being produced...

Chestnuts roasted by Henry @ 05/13/2003 12:17 AM EST

"It's not a 'popular' flick - it's never been requested by anyone before, but this one is surely one of the oddest ones I've ever encountered."

It has to be Santa with Muscles. There's just no way around it.

"He's naughty, He's nice, and He's coming to save Christmas." Tomorrow can't come soon enough.

Chestnuts roasted by Gavin @ 05/13/2003 12:18 AM EST

I sure as hell hope it's not that flick. I see it all the time on TV around these parts... I don't watch it. I'm not THAT crazy.

Chestnuts roasted by Kitsune Sniper @ 05/13/2003 12:35 AM EST

I know about Forbidden Zone, but have never seen it.
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0080752

Chestnuts roasted by Hervé Villechaize @ 05/13/2003 12:52 AM EST

Holy crap, I forgot all about that T2 sour candy! Oh my God, that stuff was like taking all of the powder off of a Warhead and squeezing it into a little ball. But it was GOOD! At least, I think it was.

Fantastic article, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Gadoken @ 05/13/2003 01:39 AM EST

Whatchamacallits.

"Sounds good- smells peanutty!" is my favorite line from a commercial ever. You need to do a review of that. Yeah.

Chestnuts roasted by Piscez @ 05/13/2003 03:14 AM EST

I went to Easy Video in Parsippany, NJ yesterday. Is that the one you went to? I ended up buying The Naked Man starring Michael Rapaport. The tagline is "Chiropracter by day. Wrestler by night." The cover art alone is worth a viewing. It's on IMDB.com
http://us.imdb.com/Title?0120767
I also picked up some 80's tv special "What's Your Alcohol IQ?" featuring all your favorite 80's stars. Both look hilarious. I'll let you know after viewing.

Chestnuts roasted by mutton72 @ 05/13/2003 09:12 AM EST

Man, I love -- no, I *lust* -- these stores. I live right around the corner from a candy store, and two convenience stores that (if you root through the dark, semi-lit areas in back) you can find little Gremlins living in.

The great thing about living in french Canada is that there are noticeably fewer mass chains and way more Mom 'n' Pop-type stores, which suits me fine. It's nice to know that you stand pretty even odds of finding 1982's Death Valley in a dusty bin somewhere if you suddenly get the urge to get out and look for it. (And it's exactly the thing I get the urge to go out and look for. You know -- it occurs to me that I've dated some really kind, tolerant, indulgent people).

Those printed Hulk bubble gum pieces look like Silly Putty after you run it over the cartoon section of the newspaper.

Were the Nintendo tattoos the lick-'em-and-stick-'em inky kind or the sort that you have to delicately daub on with a wet cloth? I preferred the former -- though the latter looked better -- because, really, how many kids can be bothered to delicately daub anything on? Though does anyone remember the ones you could get in individual-sized bags of chips back in the late 80s/ early 90s -- they had a spider, a scar, some pink deformed head thing, a frankenstein's monster head, a bat...etc? Those were around for a long time, and had a really shiny, plasticky quality and they got wrinkly if you moved your hand at all (assuming you stuck 'em on your hand). and it was always great when you found two or three per bag; I used to have dreams that I'd open these things and find hundreds of them.

Looking forward to the movie review as always, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 05/13/2003 10:22 AM EST

Re: The pic on the 'Advertise' link:

It's the insidious Hungry Man Breakfast. (One pound of saturated fatty goodness!)

Chestnuts roasted by squee4242 @ 05/13/2003 03:52 PM EST

Does the Chateau de Frontenac still have Crazy Planet gum watches, Molten? They rule, it's a shame you can't get them on the Web (Crazy Planed is in South America without a site >( ) What it is is a watch that tells both time AND date (enough to warrant sale on its own at a price like that), BUT with a hollow space filled with gum! =8O I got mine at the CdF, and it's incredible. Wow. And these people don't have websites.

Chestnuts roasted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 05/13/2003 04:08 PM EST

Is it animated? If it's animated, for some reason I'm thinking of Animalypics. Strangest danged movie I've ever seen, AND own. For whatever reason. If it's not, do review Animalypics some time anyway. It's quirky, weird, and seems me as being something Matt would review.

Chestnuts roasted by Freezair @ 05/13/2003 04:16 PM EST

I think it will be "Nukie" the most awsome movie ever made.........with a monkey =)

Chestnuts roasted by Frak Member @ 05/13/2003 07:30 PM EST

"Munchies". It's gotta be "Munchies".

Chestnuts roasted by Meat @ 05/13/2003 08:14 PM EST

I hope that movie is "Xtro"....

Chestnuts roasted by BaronVonHotPants @ 05/13/2003 08:49 PM EST

Thanks squee, now I can die a happy man! LoL! Geez, I sure hope that movie ain't Freejack...

Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/13/2003 09:29 PM EST

"Nukie" "Nukie" "Nukie" "Nukie" "Nukie" "Nukie" "Nukie" "Nukie"

$50 bucks it will be "Nukie" !!

Chestnuts roasted by Frak Member @ 05/13/2003 09:47 PM EST

I still have a few packs worth of the Robocop 2 cards laying around. My favorite card of them is the one showing Muphey getting the bejesus shot out of him. Two pics on one card, with one of the pics showing his arm flying in midair. I miss being able to just go down to some store and seeing packs of cards from whatever you could dream of :( .

Chestnuts roasted by Lim @ 05/13/2003 10:29 PM EST

They've sold a Joe Millionaire at a chateau, so I don't see why they wouldn't sell gum watches at one (or a chain of them. Heh: a chain of chateaux). That said, I remember seeing working analogue watches in a corner store in Toronto once that had a little reservoir for Nerd-like candy. Or it *looked* like Nerd-like candy, in any event: it might have been boulder gum for all I know. They sell for $5.00 CAN or so: the Swiss must be livid. ;)

Chestnuts roasted by Molten @ 05/14/2003 09:21 AM EST

I pronounce it Wendsday

Chestnuts roasted by cgkyfo @ 05/14/2003 08:18 PM EST

OPn the subject of the Hulk gum. I got a hold of soe last year at a comic store (Gotham Knights) in Michigan. However, I did not check the copyright date and took a friend's bet to fit all of the gum in my mouth for $2. Well I won the bet but ultimately lost. The gum was only chewy for 1 1/2 seconds before it felt like I was chewing tar. Then it lost its flavor after 1 3/4 seconds. Then it tasted like the Hulk's armpit.

Chestnuts roasted by Potato @ 05/14/2003 11:07 PM EST

Yep, they look kinda like nerds. Now what's this "Joe Millionaire"?
And where can I get that Orbit stuff? You know, that drink with the orbs in it?
AND WHERE ARE THOSE TATTOO SCANS?!?!?!

Chestnuts roasted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 05/15/2003 12:30 AM EST

Oh yeah- they were digital.

Chestnuts roasted by "MR. GAME & WATCH" @ 05/15/2003 12:33 AM EST

Yeah, I can confirm that Chewy Gobstoppers are still in production... at least the ones they ship to Canada. I buy at least a pack a week. The ones you should be concerned about are the Gobstoppers with the bubblegum in the centre or the "Red Hot" Gobstoppers... I haven't seen either of those kinds for at least half-a-decade.

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 05/15/2003 12:37 AM EST

Ugh you do not want to try Orbitz. Imagine drinking suger water with gooey balls of wax slithering down your throat. I think they pulled the line cause they were so awful.

Chestnuts roasted by yuck @ 05/15/2003 11:00 PM EST

One thing I forgot to say about Chewy Gobstoppers... they changed the packaging about a year or so back, so the Gobstopper font is a lot more "funky". So I guess that package is a little long in the tooth.

Yes, I am pathetic enough to know how to tell if your Gobstoppers are safe to eat... Once Gobstoppers have been sitting around a while, and have been exposed to warmer temperatures, sometimes a bit of the outermost layer will melt, and you can see some of the next layer peeking through. If the colour of the outer layer is still solid, it's probably still safe to suck...

Chestnuts roasted by Steve Brandon @ 05/18/2003 03:50 AM EST

All I can say about this article is that it makes me really disapointed that Blockbuster mostly cleared places like this out of the South Jersey area.

Incidentally, I second "Animalympics" for a review. I used to love that movie as a kid. It was strange, had cheesy 80s music montages, and wasn't too badly animated - the kind of flick that's right up Matt's alley. : 0 )

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