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05/06/2003 Entry: "Double Dragon: The Movie."

I've been waiting to do this one for a long while, and the video finally came in the mail. Here's my review of Double Dragon: The Movie, starring Scott Wolf and Alyssa Fucking Milano with a blonde crewcut. Unbelievable, but I really enjoyed it for some reason. Not as much as Mortal Kombat, but then, this movie didn't have a six-armed alien breaking spines in half. It did have Abobo, though, and included are four video clips detailing his antics. On one of 'em, Alyssa Milano force-feeds Abobo SPINACH. Enjoy. Some other notes:

- The Hulk article is doing pretty well. I was hoping it'd get spread around a bit, I had a lot of fun putting this one together. I dragged the woman to damn near every grocery store, toy store, and pharmacy in the city on the hunt, and we actually accumulated more Hulk stuff than is in the actual article. Along the way, we saw everything from Hulk fishing rods, (somebody mentioned this one in the comments) kites, stickers, shoes, 800 action figures, a giant water gun, not to mention the fact that half the crap in the grocery stores had 'Win Hulk Tickets' promotions stamped all over 'em. I'm glad to have archived all of it, it'll be cool to reflect on Hulkamania a few years from now.

- The 'new job' I mentioned a few posts back still ain't a new job quite yet, but it's looking good. Suffice to say, my obsessive personality has made me think about it to the point where I have trouble sleeping and pissing. Kidding about the pissing part; that has nothing to do with the job. I just like to hold it in case of a fire.

- Really great comments/overall usage to the little bloggie lately, which is good to see. Actually, this section has worked out much better than I thought it would - I figured it'd take me a month to lose interest and stop updating it entirely. Instead, it's really grown on me. I think it's because I put three lame mp3s on the blog's archive index that nobody's seemed to find yet. Could be something else, who knows.

REPLIES: 41 comments

I remember them filming "Double Dragon" in my hometown of Cleveland, OH. (Yes, they tried to pass off Cleveland as L.A.) The local news people got so excited about this stupid movie, like whenever a film is shot in Cleveland. I swear, they had some "behind the scenes footage" of this bad boy on the local news.

Even though I was 10 or 11, I still knew this movie was going to be crap. All of my friends used it as a butt of jokes. And we were kids that actually went to see the Super Mario Bros. movie...IN THE THEATER!!1one

Chestnuts roasted by Evan @ 05/06/2003 04:01 PM EST

Alyssa Milano is totally hot!!!!!

I thought it was weird how this was movie based on a video game, then they based a video game on this movie for the Neo-Geo.

Chestnuts roasted by jhlvvhj @ 05/06/2003 04:13 PM EST

I only saw a part of this, and unfortuantly, it wasn't the part where Abobo eats spinach.

Chestnuts roasted by Mr. Mr. Mr. @ 05/06/2003 05:10 PM EST

bunny.mp3?

Chestnuts roasted by lordofthesith @ 05/06/2003 05:14 PM EST

I love when you hide mp3s on the site, it's like a little 80s Christmas whenever I find one.

Chestnuts roasted by Sargasm @ 05/06/2003 06:02 PM EST

I gotta look for those mp3's, of course it could all be a trick, but at least I'll see all the bloggy goodness of x-e, and relive the past few moths.

Chestnuts roasted by brandon @ 05/06/2003 06:46 PM EST

Hint, big hint: they're not in an actual blogarticle, but if you look at the archives, you're heading in the right direction.

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/06/2003 06:47 PM EST

i can't find the hulk green syrup!

although i did find two "full house" books.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/packratshow/26071.html

and i still do the "dragon-punch" greeting from the movie with certain friends.

Chestnuts roasted by packratshow @ 05/06/2003 07:28 PM EST

After many years Mark Alan Dacascos finally had his break out role in Brotherhood of the Wolf; he was also in the live-action Crying Freeman from Wolf director Christophe Gans. Some might remember him from The Crow tv series. I first heard of him from the Capoeira (Brazilian slave martial art disguised as dance) movie, Only the Strong.
http://us.imdb.com/Name?Dacascos,+Mark

Chestnuts roasted by Richard @ 05/06/2003 07:56 PM EST

brotherhood of the wolf was terrible. had so much potential, too. the one thing that bugged me, is that it's essentially an action movie, but they zoomed way the fuck during all the action so you couldn't see anything.

yeah.

damned france.

Chestnuts roasted by evin @ 05/06/2003 08:00 PM EST

Man, this movie is such a classic. I remember we instantly adopted after we found out it was the only other movie besides Lethal Weapon where Al Leong TALKS! That alone has got to make it worth stardom. Hey, Matt, you should do some kind of review, you know? I mean, one could consider him 80's material. Hell, if you do a search on him, he's probably present in every single great movie there is.

Chestnuts roasted by Roddy @ 05/06/2003 08:36 PM EST

The hidden mp3s are from New Order: no1.mp3 no2.mp3 no3.mp3

Chestnuts roasted by lordofthesith @ 05/06/2003 10:53 PM EST

New Order hmmmmmm.... Not bad, not bad at all, particularly "Touched by The Hand of God"... The others are "Blue Monday" and "Bizarre Love Triangle" right? I've got this thing for The Pixies- great group... Try "Velouria," for some reason that always comes up on my playlist while I'm surfing this site, LoL! More good stuff... Peter Gabriel's "Mercy Street," uh... let's see... Talking Heads, "Road To Nowhere." I believe this was the song at the end of that Fred Savage movie, *fart* oh, excuse me... Little Monsters, somebody mentioned it in the blog a while back... Finally, do I dare mention it??? Try Weather Report's Birdland!!! Don't know Jaco Pastorius??? Big bad bass playing mofo... Thanks for the mp3's!!!

Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/06/2003 11:06 PM EST

Its good to see Brock Lesnar got such a great acting break as Abobo.

Chestnuts roasted by Casey Jones @ 05/07/2003 12:38 AM EST

Its nice to see another Al Leong fan out there...he's always playing a crony or bad guy...you might remember him in such films as die hard eating a chocolate bar, ghengis khan in bill and ted's excellent adventure...he's the asian equivalent to that Rasta who's in just about every movie...you know who im talking about

Chestnuts roasted by Petey The Bird @ 05/07/2003 01:25 AM EST

Wouldn't it really be "Nueva" Angeles?...

Chestnuts roasted by thedude @ 05/07/2003 01:34 AM EST

I know this is completely off topic, but that never stopped anyone before. Cop and a Half is the greatest movie of all time!!! And Little Monsters is still about hell.

Chestnuts roasted by CalmingEffect @ 05/07/2003 01:47 AM EST

Hey matt, is that the kind of music you listen to?
New Order? I never heard anything from them before, but i gotta admit, its pretty good.

Chestnuts roasted by Hanky @ 05/07/2003 02:17 AM EST

I saw Cop and Half in theaters..."I'm Devin Butler! I'm Devin Butler! I'm Devin Butler! I'm Devin Butler!"...burt reynolds was great in that movie

Chestnuts roasted by Stringfellow @ 05/07/2003 02:37 AM EST

BotchieGulp...
Weather Report & Jaco...very smooth. What about SpyroGyra, ever heard of 'em? If not you oughta check 'em out, you'd probably dig.

Cop and a Half rocks the house...what comes after L?

Chestnuts roasted by Queen of Ill Repute @ 05/07/2003 08:39 AM EST

Botchie - yep, those are the songs. :) 'Touched' is probably my fave NO song, maybe next to Subculture. If you can ever find it, I STRONGLY reccomend dL'ing the Bias remix of 'Touched.'

Chestnuts roasted by Matt @ 05/07/2003 10:22 AM EST

You know, I was going to write something here, but I completely forgot what. Huh.

Chestnuts roasted by Heh heh....Travis @ 05/07/2003 10:31 AM EST

must have been a fluke. yes.

Chestnuts roasted by nick @ 05/07/2003 11:13 AM EST

Oh, yeah! Now I remember....

To kill two birds with one inane comment--Liking pants slaps arse with both hands!

HA!

I gotta get out more often.

Chestnuts roasted by Travis @ 05/07/2003 11:19 AM EST

i had no idea blue monday was that long. there has to be a shorter version

Chestnuts roasted by chad @ 05/07/2003 12:05 PM EST

Meteorbs in an educational toy store?
http://www.he-man.org/forums/boards/showthread.php?s=0e2f9722b76da82e512b5419a131960f&threadid=49219

Chestnuts roasted by The McRib is back! @ 05/07/2003 01:20 PM EST

Hey thanks Matt and Queen for the suggestions... I'll get right to the downloading, LoL! Calming Effect, I'd have to agree with you about theory of Little Monsters being hell... You never really live again after seeing some poor kid down Howie's leakage. Try Ghost Dad sometime, ugh. THAT'S hell my friend.

Chestnuts roasted by BotchieGulpe @ 05/07/2003 01:32 PM EST

Hey matt!
Sounds like you and your girlfriend are pretty close. I know i would never follow my guy to shop for hulk stuff..haha.

Anyway, does she even know you have a website up???
hehe

Chestnuts roasted by Jo @ 05/07/2003 04:49 PM EST

ABOBO! I think it's kinda neat that they got the mohawk Abobo in there too -- he only showed up in the Neo Geo fighting game, unless you count his ethnic flavors in the arcade game. Abobo take many forms. Now...whoever fall in spring...take body of Abobo!

Riiight...

Chestnuts roasted by Wes @ 05/07/2003 08:37 PM EST

Dude that movie rocks i bought it on dvd from my local super market in the bargin entertainment center!!!!

Chestnuts roasted by Dan "The man" Schmatz @ 05/08/2003 09:52 AM EST

Damnit, Abobo's a big fat black guy with an overly large head.

This movie sucks.

Chestnuts roasted by Onslaught Six @ 05/08/2003 11:31 AM EST

Probably nobody's going to read this but there is an interesting part to the Double Dragon movie you overlooked. Having a mom that's into soap operas allowed me to catch it, however. Shuko's female bodyguard's most "famous" role is on the ABC soap opera "General Hosptial". There's even a scene where Marian and the bodyguard do battle. As best as I remember the dialoge:

BODYGUARD:"So who's the boss now?"

MARIAN:"I'm going to send you to General Hospital"!

There's also the only actually amusing use of the word "shit" in the movie's dialoge:

[when Shuko gets the complete amulet]

THE LEE BOYS;"Oh, shit!"
SHUKO:"That's right".

[later, when the Lee boys get the amulet]

SHUKO:"Oh, shit!"
THE LEE BOYS:"That's right"

Total reversal. You can also catch Double Dragon every now and then on the Sci-Fi Channel, so watch your local listings.

Chestnuts roasted by ShadowWing the Technorganic Autobot @ 05/10/2003 04:16 PM EST

I was a huge fan of this game as a kid, so, though I've never seen the movie, I enjoyed the review. Maybe I'll look it up sometime. Anything with Abobo being fed spinach by a very blonde Alyssa Milano has to be worth something.

Chestnuts roasted by starwenn @ 08/16/2003 09:51 PM EST

DOUBLE DRAGON MOVIE SEQUEL,NO BLOODY WAY.

Double Dragon, an live action feature based on Technos video game series is a bad movie from Imperial Entertainment,an 80s production company which have produced Van Dammes Wrong Bet.
The movie starred Mark Dacascos and Scott Wolf as Jimmy and Billy Lee,also stars Alyssa Milano as Marion and Robert Patrick as Koga Shuko.The film also has Abobo from
the Double Dragon games is in the movie cloned from 1st Abobo to 2nd Abobo.
Do you ever think if there will be another Double Dragon movie sequel?
No, no goddam f###### way.
Double Dragon is a worst game to film movie ever.

BRUCE ACOSTA
WESTERN AUSTRALIA
AUSTRALIA.

Chestnuts roasted by Bruce Darren Acosta @ 01/14/2004 05:33 AM EST

DOUBLE DRAGON MOVIE SEQUEL,NO BLOODY WAY.

BRUCE ACOSTA
WESTERN AUSTRALIA
AUSTRALIA.

Chestnuts roasted by Bruce Darren Acosta @ 01/14/2004 05:33 AM EST

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Chestnuts roasted by e loan @ 11/03/2004 01:47 PM EST

Chestnuts roasted by e loan @ 11/03/2004 01:48 PM EST

Chestnuts roasted by e loan @ 11/03/2004 01:49 PM EST

Um... yay? What does this have to do with anything?

Chestnuts roasted by Yama the Space Fish @ 11/05/2004 03:45 PM EST

Um... yay? What does this have to do with anything?

Chestnuts roasted by Yama the Space Fish @ 11/05/2004 03:45 PM EST