02/10/2003 Entry: "Dolly Dearest. And Edith."

New Article: It's Monday, and you know what Monday means. Killer dolls! The latest article is a movie review of 1992's Dolly Dearest, which is sort of like Child's Play, only without the promotional tie-in crane machine window-sucker dolls. The short version: it's a bad movie that doesn't particularly hurt to watch, but there's really no reason to see it unless you've got a killer doll fetish. For the long version, read the article.

Tomorrow's article is one I've wanted to write for a while - a long while, actually. Don't get your hopes up, it's nothing exciting and there's no way you're gonna be able to guess it anyway. I'm not sure it can be done, though. I try not to go under 2,000 word an article, except in cases where the material is good enough and there's clearly little more to say. I would be surprised if I don't hit a wall after 750 words with this one, which even then would be paying it 100x more attention than the entire world has all these years. Nope, I'm still not telling you what it is. It's too stupid to admit.

All In The Family is a pretty sad show, sometimes. That Edith. What a tearjerker. It's the episode where Edith works at a hospital and doesn't tell the doctors that an old, suffering patient is about to die at her request. I don't think there's ever been an episode of the show that's introduced a friend of Edith who didn't die within 20 minutes. So if you ever catch a rerun and notice that Edith's talking to someone you don't immediately recognize, switch to another channel. Son'bitch's about to get axed.

Chestnuts roasted by The Toxic Avenger @ 02/10/2003 02:31 AM EST

Now that I looked over the article Dolly mad some pretty crazy faces. It deserves some credit because it was alot better than Pinnochio's Revenge. You should write a review on that peice of trash. Keep up the great work Matt!

Chestnuts roasted by The Toxic Avenger @ 02/10/2003 02:37 AM EST

Denise Crosby fans should check out the documentary Trekkies. www.trekdoc.com If you like Trekkies then you will love the movie Six Days in Roswell. Roswell expands Rich Kronfeld's character from Trekkies for his trip to the 50th anniversay of the Roswell crash. www.roswell6.com http://dvdtalk.com/cineschlock/roswell/index.html

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 02/10/2003 03:19 AM EST

I saw this movie a long time ago and remember it wasn't scary. Also, why do you feel as though you should count how many words your articles have, Matt?

I don't have a problem with it or really care, but you should just focus on the funny and not how many words you've written. Quantity doesn't always equal quality. :)

Chestnuts roasted by Vomit @ 02/10/2003 06:07 AM EST

where do you think up all those funny one liners?

i laughed so much i knaCKERED my sore throat

Chestnuts roasted by 'tin man @ 02/10/2003 06:18 AM EST

I lived a very sheltered life before moving out...I've never seen most of the horror movies out there, strangly though, I have seen most that are reviewed here, including Dolly Dearest. I've never seen childs play, but I think it would have to be better than dolly dearest. Why the hell do I even bother to post?

Chestnuts roasted by Brandon @ 02/10/2003 11:13 AM EST

How funny, there's a mexican movie about exactly the same, evil possesed dolls. sadly i don't remember the title, but i know i slept better after my grandmother's only porcelain doll was 'mysteriously' broken after seeing that.

Chestnuts roasted by Zefiel @ 02/10/2003 12:19 PM EST

MATT! This has nothing to do with dolly dearest, but guess what! Last night on the Travel Channel, they were counting down the top 10 best fighting animals, and the mantis shrimp was number 7! I just had to jump up and down and clap for it! They showed some pretty cool footage of them fighting, it was nice :D
Just thought you might like to know that!

Chestnuts roasted by Ashley @ 02/10/2003 12:30 PM EST

Jimmy Read is the kid from Dream On, which I used to like back when I was too young to be watching it. I wonder why it never made it to DVD...probably a licensing issue with all the little clips it used.

Chestnuts roasted by Ubu Rex @ 02/10/2003 01:11 PM EST

Okay, so who watched the new TMNT cartoon on Saturday? I tried to after my girlfriend's mom woke me up so I COULD watch it, but I was still sort of drunk from the night before, and I kept drifting off to sleep during the whole thing. From what I remember, though, is that Raphael has turned into a complete dick, and Michaelangelo isn't nearly as annoying as he used to be. Oh, well, at least they're showing it again next Saturday before the new one comes on.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy @ 02/10/2003 02:13 PM EST

The new Turtles was pretty good. Aside from the total crap voice of Splinter and the super happy fun mega mousers. Otherwise quality watching. Didn't they used to have a van, why did the new turtles have no luck with the armoured vehicle?

Chestnuts roasted by Gary C. still pwn5 jOO!!!1! @ 02/10/2003 04:44 PM EST

Back to the Doll.... was I the only one who recoiled in horror when the first thing to see upon getting to X-E (hey- made a rhyme!) was three, evil-looking, LARGE dolls staring right at you? It was the first time I've been to the site since the redo and I actually jumped back. Too much caffeine I guess.... Great job on the site, btw.

Chestnuts roasted by Brewthos @ 02/12/2003 01:55 PM EST

At last!! Somebody that respects EDITH!! I LOVE YOU MATT!!

Chestnuts roasted by The Grue @ 02/13/2003 11:26 PM EST

my lord i HATE dolls, and i must kill them all. they always look at me. god damn creations!! any good advice from u guys on fun ways to torture a doll?

Chestnuts roasted by TheDoll§layer @ 06/13/2003 12:40 AM EST

poop

Chestnuts roasted by ahyahayya @ 11/11/2003 09:12 AM EST

Dolly Dearest was very
entertaining when I was 12.

Today, it still is and is very interesting, and is still very worth watching!

Chestnuts roasted by Richard Wheeler @ 11/29/2003 02:46 AM EST