11/05/2002 Entry: "Nintendo's Balloon Fight"

Balloon Fight was the kind of game I really enjoyed as a kid - simple and easy enough for my feeble mind and shitty hand coordination to conquer. When I watch my nephews play their Game Cubes and Playstations, I just marvel at how apt they've become. These are kids who start crying their eyes out at the sight of the times tables in their homework, yet they have no problem memorizing intricate thirteen-button patterns to aid in blowing up a city. I've got a Cube, but the only game I've 'mastered' is Smash Bros. Melee, and that was by necessity since if any of my friends ever defeat me in that game, I'll probably build a microwave large enough to fit myself inside so I can cook and kill myself. I've got Rogue Squadron for the same system, but I can't seem to even get past the opening credits.

You don't have to know much to play Balloon Fight, and that's why I like it. CLICK -->

To be completely honest, there's probably some backstory with the Balloon Fight characters, but I'm too lazy to go searching for it. Besides, giving this game any deeper meaning would negate the point: it's supposed to be simple and mindless, like Algernon after the smart juice wears out. As far as I was ever concerned, this game was just about a guy fated to fly around alien worlds, carried by two super-balloons. The enemies, which all look like parrots, aren't really enemies. They're just other flying balloon people. The only reason we're supposed to kill them is because there just ain't enough room in these little worlds for parrots and people to fly simultaneously. It's a contest for the survival of the fittest.

Your character wears a helmet, though since the birds can still peck you to death while you're wearing it, it must be a pretty shitty helmet. Armed with nothing more than his feet and a few balloons, you have to guide our hero through each level, trying to pop all the parrots' balloons. If you let them sit too long after all the mass poppage, they'll pull out an air pump and blow new balloons. It's cute to look at but deadly in action - these parrots aren't exactly driven or motivated creatures, but you can bet your bottom dollar AND THE DOLLAR IN THE MIDDLE TOO that they know how to pop balloons just as well as you do. What's worse - they're sort of like an elitist Nazi regime, in that they won't pop each other's balloons. Only yours. Everybody's always jealous of the kid who gets the red ones.

The controls are adequate enough, or at least, they used to be on the old NES controllers. Since most of you who'll play it nowadays will do so through the magic of emulation, you might get a tad frustrated trying to use the keyboard. Changing direction in midair isn't easy, and you'll likely find the character just rolling backwards out of control, as if some other evil parrot of the giant variety was slightly offscreen blowing at him. For some reason, games always feel more complete when you add in an imaginary giant parrot. Try it sometime. Whenever I play Tetris, I always picture a giant parrot playing whatever type of drum or harp that creates the glorious Russian march music. If you couldn't tell by now, it's around 5:20 AM and I've finally learned how to type in my sleep. I just wish my sleepbrain could do more constructive things than make up giant parrots in Balloon Fight.

The biggest coup is shown up above. If you kill one of the enemies in the right position, he'll plunge to a watery grave. Sometimes though, it's even better - a huge red fish jumps out of the lake and swallows him whole. Conversely, the fish will do the same to you if you stray too close, but only an idiot would go through all the trouble of creating magic helium balloons able to support the weight of an adult male and then proceed to fly the things over the one giant man-eating fish around.

Soundwise, the game is pretty strange. The score consists of assorted beeping noises, something like a cross between a whistle pop and a cicada swarm. I usually play it with the sound off since it's the kind of music that makes me feel like spiders are crawling up my legs. I can't really explain that, but if you've played the game you know what I mean. It starts off pretty catchy though, click here for the midi.

Overall Score: 6 outta 10. I have no real basis on that grade, and put no effort into deciding on the number. If it somehow upsets you, feel free to change it to a grade more to your liking. Download the stupid rom here.

Chestnuts roasted by Issac johnston @ 11/05/2002 11:28 AM EST

hey this is probably the only one of the original nes games i didn't own. never really got a follwoing like the other ones. thanks for completing the circle matt, your a good man. hey i wonder what ever happened to kid icarus? i loved that game and thought it would make a great adventure title for the 64. now the cube is out so i guess there really is no hope for a sequel...

Chestnuts roasted by alex kidd @ 11/05/2002 12:21 PM EST

Well, this isn't as good as the forums were, but not a bad start.

Anyways, Balloon fight is availible as a pack of e-reader cards for about 5$ Or conversly, you could get Animal crossing for the gamecube, Balloon fight is emulated in the game, as well as quite a few other classic NES games.

Chestnuts roasted by SuperRecoome @ 11/05/2002 01:42 PM EST

"like Algernon after the smart juice ran out"? The allusions DON'T STOP. I love it!

Chestnuts roasted by Mary @ 11/05/2002 04:16 PM EST

At least it's not Ice Climber.

Chestnuts roasted by Max @ 11/05/2002 08:00 PM EST

Jesus, even a mention of that old Flowers for Algernon story in there...

Now you made me all sad.

Chestnuts roasted by Lodin @ 11/05/2002 09:20 PM EST

Brings back memories.........

Chestnuts roasted by Ranae @ 11/05/2002 10:42 PM EST

It's actually a modified version of "Joust". If you've never played it, then I suggest you do so and compare the two.

Chestnuts roasted by Electro Sun Dog @ 11/06/2002 12:14 PM EST

Well, speaking of emulation, and how ye have a cube...

Animal Crossing *does* have Balloon Fight in it. Although the only non-crap game I've found up to now is ExciteBike (Others include Soccer, Golf, and Donkey Kong Jr. Math *blarf*), I think I'm getting Clu Clu Land D in today...The sweetness of TV-based emulation...

:D

Chestnuts roasted by Conan @ 11/07/2002 10:56 AM EST

ahh ballon fight nes001 first real mans game

Chestnuts roasted by Ghostone @ 11/08/2002 01:32 PM EST

MATT! You played Balloon Fight, too? Goddamn!! I only thought I was one of only two people to ever play it... now there are three of us!

Chestnuts roasted by Steve @ 11/09/2002 07:32 PM EST

i just heard about a video game the other day that totally blew my mind. i can't believe that "battle toads vs. double dragon" has existed all these years without my knowing. thank the lord for nesticle.

Chestnuts roasted by tyler @ 11/10/2002 06:22 PM EST

I "discovered" the awesomeness of balloon fight a few months ago when I bought a "famiclone" (controller that has games on it) at macfrugals, and one of the dozen or so games on it was "balloon boy 2".... which is basically balloon fight with altered graphics (its still the same game, just with changed graphics.., no more 'beak-hatted' badguys, but "greedy bears". music is the same and everything!) anyway, two months later, i got animal crossing, and realized that Balloon boy 2 is not a joust clone, but a clone of balloon fight... and now I have the ecards, and am trying to find a decently-priced copy of the NES game... fun fun! I'm a fan now. :-)

Chestnuts roasted by Allison Geode @ 11/12/2002 04:38 PM EST

I never owned the original version, but then by the time I got my NES it was only a year to go before the SNES was released, so I only had a handful of games for it. I do have Animal Crossing and feverishly play this game in there though. It's a really great fun game. The Balloon Trip mode is nuts!

Chestnuts roasted by Sovan Jedi @ 11/14/2002 07:10 PM EST

I love the music to balloon fight...I remember playing it with my brothers when I was little, and even though I didn't know the concept, it was really easy. Thus, I did pretty well. I'm glad some people actually remember it!

Chestnuts roasted by Lisa @ 11/21/2002 08:33 PM EST

The Red Balloon...so popular they made a movie about one. Remember seeing it as a kid at the public library in my hometown where they would show random movies on a film projector. Also remeber watching the Little Radcals and quite possibly, Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Anyway, has anyone else seen the Red Balloon?

Chestnuts roasted by Another Matt @ 02/27/2004 06:20 PM EST

I just remember The Red Balloon as this blondish kid walking in some city with guess what? a red balloon. I remember hating it every time it came on, it just seemed too shitty, and was there even any talking? I hated it....but I like the balloon game.

Chestnuts roasted by kidneyboy @ 06/02/2004 01:32 AM EST