11/01/2002 Entry: "AIM Fun."

Sometimes, people add my public instant messenger name to their buddylists, then completely forget who I am. This doesn't keep them from IM'ing me with 'WHO ARE YOU?!' messages. Sometimes I like to have a little fun with 'em... Click 'more' for, you know, 'more'.

I slightly changed the fool's name for his protection.

Rylndman420: hello?
xe char char: hi
Rylndman420: whos this?
xe char char: isn't it obvious?
xe char char: vincent price!
Rylndman420: who r u?
xe char char: why else would i have 'char' in my name?
Rylndman420: justin?
xe char char: yes d00d
xe char char: how's it hangin
Rylndman420: hey
Rylndman420: ive been tryin to call u!
Rylndman420: DO U WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT??????!!!!
xe char char: what? when?
Rylndman420: TONIGHT
Rylndman420: OR GO SEE MOVIE?
Rylndman420: or sumthing to pick up gurls
xe char char: well
Rylndman420: maybe?
xe char char: i'm in for the movie, but i just found out i'm gay. you ever watch will & grace? shit that show will show you the way.
Rylndman420: oh ok
Rylndman420: lol
Rylndman420: lmao
xe char char: so what's up?
Rylndman420: U HAVE TO HEAR THE WAVE I PUT IN WHEN I SEND AN IM
Rylndman420: Gte off real quick so i can call u ok
xe char char: i can't, i spilled soda on my speakers. they like exploded.
Rylndman420: no
Rylndman420: Wats yur last name justin?
xe char char: okay, call me now. we just got a cable modem, so nobody's on the phone anywayz
xe char char: haha forgot how to spell it again? it's not THAT hard
Rylndman420: WHO IS THIS????
xe char char: FREAKIN JUSTIN MAN
Rylndman420: wats yur last nam???
xe char char: My last Nam? Probably issue #25. The one where Nick Fury eats a frog.
Rylndman420: Who is this??
Rylndman420: seriously
Rylndman420: stop being gay
Rylndman420: this isnt justin
xe char char: I can't, not until I stop watchin Will & Grace.
xe char char: It is too, who the frig else would it be
Rylndman420: Wats all yur sisters names?
Rylndman420: just yur real oneds
xe char char: Oh, the Yur Sisters? I think Shaniqua and Terrelia. They're pretty good, ya hear the new song?
xe char char: They sing about friendship.
Rylndman420: omg
Rylndman420: YOU ARE SO GAY
xe char char: I KNOW! THAT WILL WILL GET YA!
Rylndman420: this is a gay bot
Rylndman420: isnt it
xe char char: How can a robot be gay? They don't have genders to begin with.
xe char char: You know for a straight guy you talk about gay robots an awful lot.
Rylndman420: stfu
xe char char: STFU?
Rylndman420: wats your name?
xe char char: THAT'S MY ALMA MADER!
xe char char: Vincent.
Rylndman420: where are u from?
xe char char: Stamford.
xe char char: I moved. That's why you can never reach me on the phone d00d.
Rylndman420: Whop is your creator?
xe char char: I gotta run. Will you tell Jen to stop being such a dick?
Rylndman420: Wats jens last name?
xe char char: Nifer.
Rylndman420: Who do you think i am?
Rylndman420: seriously
xe char char: Judging by your AIM handle, I'd say...hmmm...Kim Fields?
Rylndman420: Uhhh no
Rylndman420: retard
xe char char: Loved the rollerskates.
xe char char: Oh. :-(
Rylndman420: This is Ryan Friar, Im 6"9 and im gonna beat yuor ass when i find otu who this is
Rylndman420: Ive already got your ip adress and im inserting a virus right now bitch
xe char char: 6'9" You could've been the Fake Diesel. You know, I'm in Stamford now. Want me to call the McMahons for ya?
xe char char: Oh awesome.
xe char char: I like the red ones. Like from Dr. Mario?
Rylndman420: you r so ggay
xe char char: Sooooo cute.
xe char char: U R 2 FAHG HAT
Rylndman420: Uhh stfu you stupid basterd
Rylndman420: Wait
Rylndman420: Do you want a really cool website with hot gurls oin it?
xe char char: Wait, first I gotta tell ya something, and it's important.
xe char char: You know those Hostess Snowball cakes, right?
Rylndman420: yea
xe char char: Well, if you rip the outer snowy coconut layer off, and lick it, it's sort of like going down on a girl who uses chocolate syrup to douche herself.
xe char char: Don't you think so?
Rylndman420: yea lool
xe char char: Okay man I gotta go.
xe char char: See ya tomorrow.
Rylndman420: wait
Rylndman420: one second
xe char char: No I can't wait anymore.
Rylndman420: yea hold on one sec
xe char char: NO GOODBYE RYLND MAN.

Best conversation I've had all week.

Chestnuts roasted by Dustin @ 11/04/2002 01:36 AM EST

Whoa... if the guy was any denser, we'd be sitting in a black hole by now.

Chestnuts roasted by SaneJake @ 11/04/2002 10:06 AM EST

Why does everyone think that everyone else is a bot? DAMN YOU BOT HATERS!!

Chestnuts roasted by Kevin @ 11/04/2002 10:18 AM EST

Funny shit. But before you go pissing off the rednecks, you might want to get your address off the internet.

Chestnuts roasted by Adrian @ 11/04/2002 11:54 AM EST

Wow, I never met Matt before but at least I and most readers of his site have the common decency to at least know who he is.

Chestnuts roasted by Tim @ 11/04/2002 12:50 PM EST

Heh. I get 5 billion messages asking if I'm a bot/who is this a day. I made the mistake of putting my AIM name on my front page and on Newgrounds, which caused me to block everyone who is not on my buddy list for months. I won't be making that mistake again, lemme tell you.

Chestnuts roasted by Aaron @ 11/04/2002 02:41 PM EST

Fhag hat! Ha! Cookies!

Chestnuts roasted by Smokey @ 11/04/2002 04:58 PM EST

Fucking beautiful, man. Fucking beautiful. Oh, and double thanks for not using stupid abbreviations the whole time.

Chestnuts roasted by Jeremy @ 11/04/2002 05:16 PM EST

I think he likes you Matt, he's just a closet case.

Chestnuts roasted by Tom @ 11/04/2002 05:18 PM EST

ROOFLE!! He's 6'9" *and* can haxxor your computer!? OMG!

Anyway, that conversation was gold, Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by BBBD @ 11/04/2002 06:53 PM EST

I could've been the Fake Diesel. Hell, I could've been the real Ahmed Johnson...

Chestnuts roasted by Josh @ 11/04/2002 07:48 PM EST

hahahaha that was the best IM conversation i have ever read! that guy must have been a closet case.

Chestnuts roasted by theforgottenone @ 11/04/2002 08:19 PM EST

I think I'm one of the few to ever have been blocked by Matt.

Chestnuts roasted by Max @ 11/04/2002 09:05 PM EST

Damn I want to partake in a stupid IM conversation like that with Matt too.

Chestnuts roasted by Basic @ 11/04/2002 09:51 PM EST

Funny, funny shit... I like to sign up for different IM accounts, and use 'em to fuck with my friends like that. They never learn.

Chestnuts roasted by Waylon @ 11/04/2002 10:00 PM EST

that was great!! total queer even asked you if you wanted to see a movie; how is that supposed to get you chicks? hope that virus he inserted to your computer didnt do any harm.

Chestnuts roasted by sixgun616 @ 11/04/2002 10:33 PM EST

LOL TAT WUZ ME LOL SORY MATTXE CHARCHR LMAO ROOFLEMAYO.

Chestnuts roasted by Kalvano @ 11/04/2002 11:39 PM EST

It's not comedy unless you can get a chick so annoyed her e-boyfriend comes online to threaten you, making references to his IP tracking software, No Holds Barred fighting skills, and his membership in the mafia.

Chestnuts roasted by Red Diesel @ 11/04/2002 11:41 PM EST

Classic.

Chestnuts roasted by vinny red @ 11/04/2002 11:42 PM EST

My balls itch like Wookies ass with laughter!! Thats the funniest shit i've read since i saw Skeletor and the blue pepsi!!

Chestnuts roasted by HungLikeHeMan @ 11/05/2002 12:10 AM EST

i don't understand why one second he's threatening to kick your ass and the next he's offering you free porn. weirdo.

Chestnuts roasted by alex kidd @ 11/05/2002 12:13 AM EST

Liked the way the guy threatened to zap you with a virus, guess he'd been watching reruns of "the matrix" or "Johnny Moronic" on cable. It would be too much to hope that he's read Gibson et all, todays generation going doen the pan! Anyway the whole transcript was a hoot.

Chestnuts roasted by spw @ 11/05/2002 12:19 PM EST

I usually end up in conversations like that when I'm bored and bait somebody - but that guy actually contacted you.

Unbelievable...

Chestnuts roasted by XP Ranger @ 11/05/2002 03:27 PM EST

noone messages me, i just sit, alone, i cry a lot too. i should start an emo band.

Chestnuts roasted by xXxCurryManxXx @ 11/05/2002 07:38 PM EST

It's so much fun to mess with ppl online. One time this guy wanted to cyber. i said okay... and then we got in the "private room" (aol) and i pulled out the monkey!! i made the monkey do weird things to him (via action typing, and all that). He was so...deer in headlights.

Or this one friend of mine who kept sexually harrassing me... i signed on as "Carrie" from Utah and told him i was part of a Mormon cult that lives out in the middle of nowhere. Alex Tribek was my god and i had to leave conversations with him in order to go watch "Jeopardy" or to "sponge bathe the elders." And we would ski naked on the sand in the desert and when we introduced someone to marry into our tribe, they had to wear the "Belt of love" or something like that, and you had to be naked while you wore this belt that dangled sharp bones and other such things... and a few more things about "Carrie".... my friend figured out it was me... and thankfully he found it funny instead of getting mad at me...

...but i'm just agreeing. It's fun to mess with people.

Chestnuts roasted by Kitty J @ 11/05/2002 08:12 PM EST

Mistake: i forgot to include that as Carrie, i started to sexually harrass him back.

Chestnuts roasted by Kitty J @ 11/05/2002 08:13 PM EST

that was hella funny! actually laughed out loud. i've had people ask me who i am cause i'm on their buddy list for some reason. i just tell them i'm jesus.

Chestnuts roasted by iamjesus @ 11/06/2002 07:14 AM EST

Ah yes, he's going to "insert a virus" with your IP number... erm...

Did anyone else get the impression that Matt was talking with Jeff K?

And why the hell is "gay" an insult anyway??? AAAGH! I hate that.

Chestnuts roasted by Liz @ 11/06/2002 08:24 PM EST

heh. he sounded really exited at the prospect of a slumber party.

should have said yes and asked if you 'could bring the tea this time.'

mmm... tea..

Chestnuts roasted by evin @ 11/07/2002 02:23 AM EST

Snappy and witty, I highly approve. You get: Supaa Good Fun Time Happy Comedy Award!!™ from Creepy guy in the bushes®

Chestnuts roasted by Creepy guy in the bushes @ 11/07/2002 03:18 AM EST

I saw hackers...can you be my friend?

Chestnuts roasted by Avacotter @ 11/07/2002 07:29 AM EST

Brilliant. I almost got caught reading your site at work cause I was laughing for what appeared to be no reason.

Chestnuts roasted by 666 hits of Acid @ 11/07/2002 08:36 AM EST

Funny stuff Matt - glad to see you're updating the site more regularly now.

Chestnuts roasted by Junior @ 11/08/2002 08:48 AM EST

Why do pissed-off people online always notify you they're going to give you a virus? Whom do they really think they're threatening?

Cube that rhetorical question's perplexedness for the part about being 6'9" and coming to beat your ass. If somebody traveled halfway across the country to beat me up, I'd be inclined to reward their effort by letting them.

Then sucker-punching them in the kidneys.

Dirty pool, bee-yotch...

Chestnuts roasted by Brenz @ 11/08/2002 07:49 PM EST

I have my AIM screenname on my web page, and although i get jack for hits (50 a week or so), a couple times each week i get one IM from someone saying they like my site, and once a week, seriosuly, i get an IM like this. "WHO R U WHYY R U ON MY BUDDELIST!!!" I always have to ask why i would be on their buddy list if they had no idea who i was. They usally act like i somehow forcefully added myself to their list without their permission or knowledge. I also occasionally get an IM with someone calling me a word they can't spell, and when i point out they can't spell, they "insult" me with another word they can't spell. Those people are especially fun to mess with.

Chestnuts roasted by Cristofer @ 11/09/2002 02:51 AM EST

Heheh... Yes, I've gotten a few fan-IMs like that too. Always a laugh.

Chestnuts roasted by The Mysterious Dr. X @ 11/09/2002 10:36 AM EST

You know, the funny thing is, this shit-head will never realize who he was talking to. We're talking about him being gay and all, yet unless he comes here, he'll never know. Man, ignorence is halarious.

Chestnuts roasted by KevinG @ 11/09/2002 02:39 PM EST

That guy was such a dumbass. I was really amused by his short hand too. I dont think I can make comments thike "stfu" and keep dignity at school. Yeah, for being 6'9" he is a pretty big dork for kicking your ass over the internet. I think if you ever see a 6'9" guy asking about seeing movies together you should kick him in the shins.

Chestnuts roasted by Aussie @ 11/11/2002 06:42 PM EST

hey that was me!

Chestnuts roasted by jordan @ 11/11/2002 10:52 PM EST

Classic!

Its kinda sad tough, seeing the kind of people they allow online nowadays.

Chestnuts roasted by Broken Bio-Qlock @ 11/14/2002 01:14 AM EST

hey, i need to have more stupid conversations like that. helps me not kill stupid people in person. im me on aol/aim: ionesc0 with a zero on the end, 'cause the real name of the french/romanian playwrite is always taken. :(

Chestnuts roasted by stoopidity magnet @ 11/25/2002 02:51 PM EST

Gay. Gay. Gay.

Yeah, you know, it's fun to reply to this 3 month old update.

Chestnuts roasted by TripleH02 @ 01/01/2003 06:32 AM EST

Thanks for sensoring my name, but I thought you were my friend justin, and what the hell are you losers doing on this sight anyway. Your probaly a bunch of 49 year old child molesters that live in there moms basment, and get off to naked pictures of yourself when you were babies. You sick faggets. You should all burn in hell. Oh yea, and when you sit on your dads lap, and he stands up, and your still sitting on it, thats not right you sick basterds. Your hitting you in the balls, and asking to kiss your boo boo, is not like other kids. So go in the basement grab a rope. Attach it to the top of the door frame, and tie it around your neck and jump off the stairs. Or just slit your wrist. Then your life will have meaning. You won't be living in your basment 5 feet under anymore, you'll be living 6 feet below it.

I hope you die,

Kid whos in this conversation.

Chestnuts roasted by Ryldnman420 @ 10/16/2003 02:55 PM EST

LOL. He Speaks! What are the odds of that?

Chestnuts roasted by Sirkus Peanuts @ 10/17/2003 07:06 PM EST

I like how he says go into the basement and then jump off the stairs. If you jump off the stairs into the basement, you jump onto the ground, unless you tie the rope so your head is already hitting the top of the doorframe. And most houses don't have doors at the bottom of the stairs into the basement.

quentin "suicide solution" mcalmott

Chestnuts roasted by quentin mcalmott @ 11/19/2003 08:02 PM EST

nice spelling/grammer kid
sensoring
sight
probaly
there
faggets
basterds
whos

and wtf is Your hitting you in the balls

Chestnuts roasted by i duh nah @ 06/18/2004 03:58 PM EST