Kraft Mac & Cheese Winter Shapes!

I chose the font in that logo because it looked something like macaroni and cheese. You can’t imagine the thought that goes into every facet of this website. Where is my fame?

After their critically acclaimed Halloween experiment, Kraft is going for extra points with new ‘Tis the Chees’n mac & cheese. Unfortunately for us all, the previous sentence said all that needed saying. How am I going to stretch this out?

Maybe the snowman can get me through another paragraph? Sure he can; look at him! This is the official Kraft Snowman™, as made clear by his orange macaroni scarf. Why else would he so proudly present these limited edition winter shapes? He obviously has a stake in this.

Oh, and notice that painting in the background? The weird creature on the right? Well, I painted that, and the weird creature is named Bibo. In real life, Bibo was an alien alarm clock, sold by Archie McPhee back before they limited their awesomeness to things based on bacon. He had a Snork-like antenna and a clock for a stomach. I used to bring him to school during my sophomore year. I paid the price for that every day.

The winter shapes are joyous, because there’d be no point otherwise. Included are snowflakes, snowmen, stockings and candy canes. The candy canes, requiring two words that don’t begin with “s,” are the ostracized bastards of the Kraft winter shapes social circle. Due to Bibo, I understand their pain.

I like to convey the complete experience with my photos. I fully admit to sometimes including too many, which boxes me into corners where the only way out is to write too much and cut corners with alien alarm clock stories.

Whatever. I still think it was important for you to see the cooking process.

Problem is, it’s tough to take a focused picture of macaroni being dumped into boiling water. It’s not like I have a production assistant waiting around for his big moment. The above was the best I could do, and it bothered the hell out of me.

Then I remembered that my ancient camera has the ability to record video, and figured that it’d be easier to do it that way. I could just take one sharp screengrab from the QuickTime, later.

Somewhere in the confusion, I forgot to remove the cheese dust before dumping in the pasta. I managed to rescue it, but the fingers on my left hand still look like I just got done hammering them. Where is my fortune?

If only I still had Bibo. He would’ve set me straight. Your lives wouldn’t have been at all different had I skipped the picture of boiling macaroni. Oh, Bibo. Why did the popular kids hate you so much?

I may have let the pasta soak too long, as I can’t remember the last time Kraft’s macaroni quadrupled in size when placed in water. It must be going on ten, eleven years.

It’s beautiful. It really is. The holiday spirit can take any form, even that of orange pasta. If I knew someone who was dying, I’d feed him this every day. He’d forget the negatives and smile bright. He might even live.

Rudolph was on tonight. I can’t tell you how nicely it pairs with Christmas-shaped mac & cheese. Like, right when the broken elephant started singing about misfits, I noticed a snowman in my bowl who had no head. Seasonal synchronicity. The best kind there is.

I’d like to thank Bibo the Clock for making this all possible.

UPDATE: Nic M. over on X-E’s FB page very correctly implied that this review was worth jack without some form of Christmas-themed macaroni art.

So there you go.

48 thoughts on “Kraft Mac & Cheese Winter Shapes!

  1. Daviel McKaye

    The snowman on that box reminds me of Mr. Sludgy from Invader Zim. I think it’s a combination of his deceptively warm demeanor and the way his arm branch is drawn. It’s quite haunting really.

  2. DJ D

    From the previous thread: Yeah, New Geoffrey and New Wendy are lame. Oh so lame.

    Ha! ‘Tis the Chees’n actually made me LOL even though I hate mac and cheese. Well, actually just the cheese. I’m cool with the mac.

    My work schedule has started to affect my holiday cheer. Because I work nights now and don’t get home until after midnight, I’m missing not only all the prime-time Christmas specials when they actually air on television (the ideal way to watch them, commercials and all), but also Matt‘s prime-time posting. So, when I get home, it’s a game of catch-up all around. I fell like I’m missing out on the whole deal, really. Watching via DVR and commenting at 5am just doesn’t feel the same. I’ve still vowed to squeeze every bit of Christmas fun that I can out of this year, though. The last 6 months or so has just absolutely flown by for me, so my new rule is that Nov. 1st is the start of the Christmas season, no matter what. So bring on all the Christmas specials now. I know that with my busy schedule, that if they cram them all into December, I won’t have time to see them anyway. I need the extra month to spread them out and get me revved up. And like we’ve all been saying, it seems to end so quickly anyway (and it’s a little depressing when it does), so I want get a jump on the whole season ASAP. As long as it’s not before Halloween. Never, ever before Halloween.

    I got a little bit of disappointment today though. I thought I spotted one of my Christmas presents early this afternoon (purely by accident), and was really jazzed for a few minutes. From the top of the box, which was all I could see, it looked like it had to be a flat screen TV. Upon closer inspection, well, I still don’t know what it is, but the box is way to small to be a TV. It’s ok. I don’t really expect to get one, but it was exciting for a few seconds. Even if I just get a couple of the cheap books I asked for and maybe Uncharted 3 for the PS3, I’ll be a happy camper. Everything else will be a very pleasant surprise.

    Until reading this, I had never heard of Archie McFee or Bibo, and I’m sorry, it’s not a knock on Matt‘s writing at all (I’m sure I’m just tired and not paying attention), but I still have no idea what either one of those things are. I think it’s got something to do with a store or an alarm clock…somehow a painting got worked in there…Matt was taking a painting of an alarm clock to school, I think…Is that what happened? I’m serious here. I’m not joking at all. Can someone clarify, because I’m just too sleepy to try to read it again. I expect answers tomorrow.

    “If anyone is still contemplating joining the Secret Santa gift exchange, please sign up by end of day tomorrow–click my name for more info. It’s totally legit and 99% of participants are regulars. You know it’s worth it just on the chance you might get a Christmas gift from DJ D.”Amy
    The lucky winner gets one hand-made coupon good for “One Awkwardly Long Hug”.

  3. Hoverbored

    Amy- Does the Secret Santa Exchange accept handmade gifts? I’d hate to create an awkward moment by sending in something that I wasn’t supposed to.

  4. Scott

    Your mac art is something I think should go in a gallery somewhere. To hell with the popular kids, they are probably broke and stupid right now.

  5. Greg the Canuckistanian

    Xmas themed Mac n Cheese is my favorite today. I too had a chuckle at your expense Matt, but only because we’ve all accidentally spilled the bag into the pot of water. So happy that Dec 1st is tomorrow, now I can really get my Christmas on!

  6. King JLA

    Hoverbored: You know how I mentioned MeTV a couple of threads back? Mr. Magoo Christmas Carol was also shown, along the Fat Albert Christmas Special (along with a few misc ones I’ve never heard of, so screw those).

    ABC FAmily is showing “Mickey’s Christmas Carol” and a Winnie the Pooh Christmas Special from 1991 tomorrow at midnight.

    I actually watched a new Christmas toon that was on the Hallmark Channel last Friday called “Jingle all the Way” about a husky pup following a boy home. It was very good. It’s apparently based on a book and toys you can buy ata Hallmark store.

  7. Jason

    Best looking boxed mac n’ cheese I’ve ever seen!

    Matt- Bibo didn’t happen to make an appearance in an old article from years ago, did he? Because this was the first thing that popped into my head upon reading your description.

    http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/403.html

    My wife found a schedule of Christmas shows on ABC Family in one of her magazines. It is posted on our refrigerator as a reminder for when they’re showing the good ones. Home Alone II was on last night. And even though I love that movie, it can wait(they’re playing it like 3 more times in December, but I’d rather get it on DVD).

    I’m amped to see who I get for the gift exchange. :)

  8. velouria_78

    Matt, you may never see this, since you probably just went to bed 30 minutes ago and it will be buried among the things posted whilst you slumbered, but I wanna know what kind of obscure movies you’re digging up for work. Is this more stuff in the Troll 2 vein? Because this vein is my passion (eeeww, doesn’t sound right).

  9. John V

    Matt – don’t know if you’ve answered this before but why does your pot look like it was used to beat somebody to death. Maybe Santa will bring you a new pot this year. Imagine the joy of unwrapping that :)

    As for the mac n cheese I’ll have to pickup some of that winter themed for my 3 year old. Anytime I ask her what she wants to eat no matter what time it is her stock answer is mac n cheese. It is like something gets hardwired into kids brain at 3 to always ask for mac n cheese.

  10. Amy

    Hoverboard, it’s never really been discussed…I guess if homemade leans closer to “awesome” than to “God’s-eye ornament” or “nylon loop potholder” it would probably be okay.

  11. Matt Post author

    BIBO STUFF:

    Bibo was/is an alarm clock. Actual alarm clock. Statue-slash-clock. I brought the clock to school each day. Not the painting. Perhaps someday I’ll devote an entire entry to Bibo, to clear things up.

    @Jason: Yup, that’s him! I wonder if I still have him? (Unfortunately, even in that article, he was in rough shape — he lost his Snork head thing and would split into two Bibo halves if held incorrectly.) And, wow, what you linked is over eleven years old.

    @Brian: I vaguely remember seeing that book. I’m irked by all of these “Blue Bibo” pictures. Mine was green. Blue is so much cooler.

    I also found an MS Paint picture of Bibo hiding in this 2002 blog entry.

    OTHER STUFF:

    @Amy: Kudos for organizing another SS!

    @John: I wish I knew. The pot’s been that way for years, and yes, it does look it caused someone’s death.

    @velouria: It’s probably out of bounds for me to say which movies, but I’ll post the spot when it’s done. :)

  12. Goob

    Bill You should get Easy Mac then. Because it only requires water. Or the Kraft Deluxe that I am too cheap to get on a regular basis lol. That only requires the sauce packet included.

    I actually have a new recipe for mac and cheese that I like. You put in drained kidney beans, drained stewed tomatoes, and chili powder to taste. It’s called vegetarian chili mac and it’s really good. I love recipes that doctor up what you regularly have.

    MickeyD I would think they would air it closer to Christmas as well. I think last year they played the Charlie Brown Christmas like 3 times lol.

  13. Goob

    BTW I just looked it up. Charlie Brown is going to be on the 5th, Rudolph the Reindeer and Frosty are going to be on the 9th and 10th.

  14. Frank

    I have a little headcold so when I saw the first picture, I thought it said “Tits the cheese’n”. Now I’m going to sing that variation all day at work.

  15. orko

    oh wow you actually had one of those clocks?
    ive only read about them in his autobiography. still how long ago was your sophomore matty? 10 years? i love you guy! don’t torture yourself over things long gone…

  16. starwenn

    I am still not a Velveeta fan. I like my pasta with real cheese, not orange-yellow powdered something-or-other. That said, I love seeing holiday versions of almost anything, and this is no exception. You can’t look at the pasta shapes without feeling your Christmas spirit go up a small notch.

  17. Lucky Mesmer

    I want to know more about Bibo. That’s some really nice Xmas noodle art.

  18. Teddy Ray

    You do make a nice looking bowl of mac and cheese, sir.

    Was I the only one expecting a “TRASH BAG BUNCH” when Matt dropped the cheese packet into the water, then again when he reached in to retrieve it?

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